Five finger discount
While we were shopping, you tried to steal a bracelet that was worth a lot.
But before you could get out of the store, you got caught.
They thought I was an accessory so they prosecuted me as well.
I'm mad because you got me arrested so you can go to hell.
This incident has caused me a great deal of grief.
My girlfriend dumped me because she thinks I'm a thief.
You may not realize it but stealing is a sin.
It will be a cold day in hell when I go shopping with you again.
poem by Randy Johnson
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Related quotes
Shopping
Were buying and selling your history
How we go about it is no mystery
We check it with the city, then change the law
Are you looking forward?
Now you want some more
Were s-h-o-pp-i-n-g, were shopping
Its easy when you got all the information
Inside help, no investigation
(no investigation, investigation)
No questions in the house, no give and take
Theres a big bang in the city
Were all on the make
Were s-h-o-pp-i-n-g, were shopping
Were s-h-o-pp-i-n-g, were shopping
Our gain is your loss, thats the price you pay
I heard it in the house of commons: everythings for sale
Were shopping
Were shopping
Were s-h-o-pp-i-n-g, were shopping
Were s-h-o-pp-i-n-g, were shopping
Ah ah ah, ah ah ah, ah ah ah, ah ah
Ah ah ah, ah ah ah, ah ah ah, ah ah
Were s-h-o-pp-i-n-g, were shopping
Were s-h-o-pp-i-n-g, were shopping
(were shopping
Were shopping
Were shopping
Were shopping
Were shopping)
song performed by by Pet Shop Boys
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Designer Love
Very well I contradict myself
knock myself out
looking for a knockout
won't settle for a knockoff
a friendship bracelet
is never enough
in a department store
busy shopping for
I need your
designer love.
immortal while we're shopping
poem by Brandon Adamson
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Shopping Without Edgar Allan
We will always shopping go
Without Edgar Allan Poe.
We go shopping, hopping, hopping,
From this store to that.
Edgar Allan was a Poe
Who never ever had to go
Shopping.
O.K., and so perhaps I lied,
And so perhaps his lovely bride,
Annabelle Lee and he
Went shopping, like
The rest of us.
poem by Fred Babbin
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4. Best Buys
Best buy said the advert
But who decides what’s best
Is there some secret record
Or are they like the rest
The shoppers hear them shopping
Great deal’s we’re coming back
Influenced by special deals
Impressed by giant stack
This shopping is a science
With formulas for selling
Each manager has bought the stock
Head office has been telling
They told him where to stack it
In hot spots round his store
And adverts showing best buys
Would bring them back for more
poem by David Threadgold (2008)
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Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old.
quote by Erma Bombeck
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Call To Get A Cop
If you want me arrested,
Call to get a cop.
I've given my best,
Believe it or not.
Now you want to confess to me...
You think I'm a thief!
Please.
If you want me arrested,
Call to get a cop.
I've given up all I had,
Believe that or not.
Now you tell me that I can't leave...
Because your aggravations aren't that bad.
This is worse than living in a jail cell.
Living with you has been pure hell.
I've got to leave you and do it quick,
With a taking of my mind...
And,
Splitting through an exit!
Yes.
If you call a cop,
Be honest when you tell on me.
Get a cop,
And tell the story truthfully.
Without those tears you weep and drop.
With the telling of lies nonstop.
Whoa Nelly!
If you want me arrested,
Call to get a cop.
I've given my best,
Believe it or not.
Now you want to confess to me...
You think I'm a thief!
Please.
And you want me arrested,
Because I wont take from you...
More of your mess,
Yes.
You want me arrested,
Because your testing gives me no rest.
And...
You want me arrested,
Because I've decided to step.
Yes.
And you wish to break my neck.
So,
If you want me arrested?
Call to get a cop.
I've given my best,
Believe it or not.
Now you want to confess to me...
I've all you've got,
Please!
This is worse than living in a jail cell.
Living with you has been pure hell.
I've got to leave you and do it quick,
With a taking of my mind...
And,
Splitting through an exit!
Yes.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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To Hell
To hell with the house work
To hell with the grocery shopping
To hell with the home work
It is New Years Day,
A good excuse to party all night
It is junk food day all right
poem by Aldo Kraas
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Shopping for Yesterday
Busy crowds, lonely hearts, broken dreams
Shopping for yesterday.
Visiting the shared moments,
In all the familiar places
When shopping for yesterday.
We are all prisoners of the past
When shopping for yesterday
Knee deep in our loneliness
Surrounded by the crowd
We’re shopping for yesterday.
Pictures and memories
Half-forgotten words
Time slipping away
From the windmills of my mind
When shopping for yesterday.
poem by Adrian Wait
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11 Million Gigabyte
Hungry lane,
You don't have to steal to make a living;
For the dead are already begging to return!
And like the rum and the coke on your table.
Tainted love,
Have you seen her once again in your neighbourhood? ! !
For they can't stop me from living a better life with my muse,
Because you've stolen enough from me!
On the road of love and,
On the next track;
But do not steal because of your hunger!
For the thief will be caught by the law one day.
Stay like bees and be safe and protected,
And from hand to mouth for the house cleaning exercise;
For you may be judged when being caught by the law.
11 Million Gigabyte!
For the opening track of your mind is always negative;
That is why you lack the experiences of life,
For stealing will surely lead you to hell.
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
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Fly Jeans
You say can we go shopping
For what is my reply
some new jeans that my friend just bought
They make her look so fly
I say lets go, do you know the store
And please don't make me choose
Before we go I'm telling you we're not shopping for shoes
I take a slow, long deep breath
As we walk in the store
Dam your friend has rich tastes
My wallet's felt this pain before
You squeeze into the fly jeans
As you turn around and say
Does my bum look big in these babe
Now I should run away
Does my bum look big in these babe
Once again I hear you ask
No it don't my darling
It's the fat around your ass
Friday Night Shopping
I went to do the shopping at the Supermarket Store
Couldn't find a trolley - so hunted round some more:
I dashed around the car park searching every trolley bay
And at last, with the one with the wonky wheel, I was on my way!
Inevitably, I met someone I'd not seen for a while
So we parked our trolleys in the middle of the aisle
Just to make shopping that bit harder for everybody else
Isn't it a pain when everyone just thinks of self/
We had a conversation about this and that
I was really pleased to see her and enjoyed our chat.
Eventually I reached the checkouts where the fun begins'
To search for the "right queue" and start unloading all my tins.
In front of me was a lady, quite mature.
She'd be quick, I was absolutely sure.
Then her cash could not be found amongst papers and all kinds of dockets
In one of those wretched handbags with about fifteen pockets.
I was glad to leave that store - I'd finished work at five - got home at seven
Sat down with a cuppa' which was pure magic, just sheer heaven!
poem by Jackie Holland
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Christmas At The Big-K
At Christmas she went to K Mart
Which wasn’t very smart.
She got in the way
Of a mob that day
And was floored by a shopping cart.
Shopping sucks at Christmas time
Even at the five and dime.
Try shopping on line
And you will be fine
And you won’t be the victim of a crime
Or what’s more you won’t miss your Miller time.
poem by George Hunter
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A poem a day - Shopping with a friend
Shopping with a friend is cool
There's nothing forbidden, no rule
And no parents to say what's suitable
Or to tell you what's unaffordable,
Actually you don't need to be rich
To try on whatever your eyes wish.
Shopping with a friend is so nice
You might forget budget and price
And buy things you don't need
Just by habit, not by greed
Like get ten or eleven similar tops
From two or three different shops.
Shopping with a friend is funny
Even if you don't have money
You can try a formal blue shirt
With a long gypsy orange skirt
Pretend to buy them but act lost
Then don't, because they're low-cost.
Shopping with a friend is naughty
You can act humble or haughty
Change personnalities between stores:
Be a girl who laughs and snores
Or an english tourist, elegant and neat
Who went walking on the street.
But shopping is more pleasant with a friend
Who has a thousand dollars to lend.
poem by Rita El Khoury
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Beautiful Loser
Words and music by bob seger
He wants to dream like a young man
With the wisdom of an old man.
He wants his home and security,
He wants to live like a sailor at sea.
Beautiful loser, where you goona fall?
You realize you just cant have it all.
Hes your oldest and your best friend,
If you need him, hell be there again.
Hes always willing to be second best,
A perfect lodger, a perfect guest.
Beautiful loser, read it on the wall
And realize, you just cant have it all.
...you cant have it all, you cant have it all,
Oh, oh, ... cant have it all.
Hell never make any enemies,
He wont complain if hes caught in a freeze.
Hell always ask, hell always say please.
Beautiful loser, never take it all
cause its easier, faster when you fall,
You just dont need it all
Oh, oh, ... you just dont need it all.
song performed by by Bob Seger
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Shoppong For Girls
Between the dead ring ash of extreme defense
The lonely groups of company boys
Snapping pictures of scrawny limbs and toothy grins
These are children riding naked on their tourist pals
While the hollows that pass for eyes swell from withdrawal
As he lies on a mattress in a rat infested room
Talking bout his family and the cold back home
Between the dull cold eyes and the mind unstable
No one over here reads the papers pal
tween the dull cold eyes and the mind unstable
Hes a clean trick and hes shopping for girls
A small black someone jumps over the crazy white guard
Cranking up the volume of a michael jackson song
Between the dull cold eyes and the mind unstable
No one over here reads the papers pal
tween the dull cold eyes and the mind unstable
Hes a clean trick and hes shopping for girls
Where the frangipani scents the air
She mouths a word that breaks his stare
He grunts his reply in a garrulous croak
Thats a mighty big word for a nine year old
Between the dull cold eyes and the mind unstable
No one over here reads the papers pal
The dull cold eyes and the mind unstable
Hes a clean trick and hes shopping for girls
Shopping for girls, shopping for girls
Gaze down into her eyes for a million miles
Wanna give her a name and a clean rag doll
song performed by by David Bowie
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Lay Me Down
(l. stansfield/i. devaney/a. morris)
Hes warmer than the radiator
Sweeter than caramel
The way he weaves his madness
And it puts me in a spell
He twists me round his finger
And I enjoy it so
Hold me in his tender arms
And never let me go
Hell never let me go
Never let me go
Never let me go
Chorus:
Do, down, lay me down (x4)
Theres never complication
Hell never compromise
His kisses never ending
And they send me to the sky
Hes understanding
And hell never let me down
He fills me up with passion
And hell always be around
Hell always be around
Hell always be around
Always be, he will always be around
Do, down, lay me down (x2)
You hear what I say
Do, down, lay me down (x3)
Hell never let me down
Do, down, lay me down
Do you know what it means to me
Do, down, lay me down
And hes everything, oh baby
Hell always be around
Hell always be around
Hell always be around
Hell always be, hell always be around
song performed by by Lisa Stansfield
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Aner Clute
Over and over they used to ask me,
While buying the wine or the beer,
In Peoria first, and later in Chicago,
Denver, Frisco, New York, wherever I lived,
How I happened to lead the life,
And what was the start of it.
Well, I told them a silk dress,
And a promise of marriage from a rich man --
(It was Lucius Atherton).
But that was not really it at all.
Suppose a boy steals an apple
From the tray at the grocery store,
And they all begin to call him a thief,
The editor, minister, judge, and all the people --
"A thief," "a thief," "a thief," wherever he goes.
And he can't get work, and he can't get bread
Without stealing it, why, the boy will steal.
It's the way the people regard the theft of the apple
That makes the boy what he is.
poem by Edgar Lee Masters
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Poverty (song)
In the tune of the Boomtown Rats hit 'I Don't Like Mondays'.
The life seeps from the unfortunate,
Now it's time to help,
And some people thought they never had a chance,
We didn't give them chance to explain.
And they couldn't understand it,
We always thought they were doing fine,
And when we have our meals
They have to steal,
They can't stand the poverty, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh.
Tell us why
We shouldn’t help them
Tell us why
We shouldn’t help them
Tell us why
We shouldn’t help them,
They cannot stand their whole lives in hell
Their whole lives hell.
(Gordon) Brown watches from his cosy home
Thinking of his latest plan,
While a man out THERE
Is so very SCARED
Living out his whole life in a dump,
And his dreams are stopped
When he sees the plot
To get rid of his landfill home
And when we have our meals
They have to steal
They don't know what to think, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh,
Tell us why
We shouldn’t help them
Tell us why
We shouldn’t help them,
Tell us why
We shouldn’t help them
They cannot stand their whole lives in hell,
Their whole lives Hell, Hell, Hell,
Whole lives in hell.
As all the life seeps out of that poor man
We go and count our money pile
And now we’ll be going to the corner shop
While that man starts to choke on his own bile
Then the media babbles
Then the signal crackles
(Pretending that they care about them)
And when we have our meals
They have to steal
They can’t stand the poverty
And The life seeps from the unfortunate,
Now it's time to help,
And some people thought they never had a chance,
We didn't give them chance to explain.
And they couldn't understand it,
We always thought they were doing fine,
And when we have our meals
They have to steal,
They can't stand the poverty, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh.
Tell us why
We shouldn’t help them
Tell us why
We shouldn’t help them,
Tell us why
We shouldn’t
Tell us why
We should
Tell us why
We shouldn’t help them
They cannot stand their whole lives in hell.
Tell us why we shouldn’t help them
The answer is….
We should help them.
poem by Andrew Racklyeft
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The Only Thing I Care About
She had the eyes of some one older,
I have eyes that wonder 'round,
I couldn't see what really mattered,
Caught hell from my boss,
Don't care about my job,
Caught a cold from the rain,
Don't care if I'm cold,
Played every record that I own to date,
but the only thing I cared about got away,
She was a walking work of art,
I am a broken wind-up-toy,
I thought I knew what really mattered,
Got a flat on the road,
Don't care about my car,
Lost 26 bucks bucks,
Don't care about my rent,
Caught every episode on TV today,
but the only thing I care about got away,
She had a brilliant future,
I have a past,
I have my momories,
but they're fading fast,
Caught Hell from my boss,
Don't care about my job,
Caught a cold from the rain,
Don't care if I'm cold,
Played every record that I own to date,
But the only thing I care about got away,
but the only thing I care about got away,
But the only thing I care about got away...
song performed by by Eels
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Whee
It's all downhill
from here
I've ditched
the hand basket
for a shopping trolley
for a fast track
to hell.
poem by Vince Gullaci
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