The government (is) extremely fond of amassing great quantities of statistics. These are raised to the nth degree, the cube roots are extracted, and the results are arranged into elaborate and impressive displays. What must be kept ever in mind, however, is that in every case, the figures are first put down by a village watchman, and he puts down anything he damn well pleases.
quote by Josiah Stamp
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
The Government are very keen on amassing statistics - they collect them, add them, raise them to the nth power, take the cube root and prepare wonderful diagrams.
quote by Josiah Stamp
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Shot (intro)
phones ringing babies crying]
white guy: Hi how ya doin' ?
nurse: Doctor's office could you hold please? Yes sir can I help you?
white guy: Yes I have a four o'clock appointment I'm here to get my shot.
nurse: Okay come right with me.
white guy: This isn't gonna take too long is it?
nurse: Here we are here have a seat right here.
white guy: Oh great thanks thanks.
nurse: The doctor will be right with you, and can I get you anything?
white guy: Uhh maybe a glass of water would be great.
nurse: Okay great.
[door shuts]
white guy: Damn, what is taking so long?
[door creaks open, funky music in the backround]
doctor Ice Cube: Yo wussup?
white guy: Hi how ya doin' ?
doctor Ice Cube: Alright, let's see what we got here uhh, Mr. White huh?
white guy: Yes sir that's me.
doctor Ice Cube: heh, I heard you don't like shots do ya?
white guy: No I sure don't.
doctor Ice Cube: Aww you're a big boy uhh this won't hurt a bit,
jus' uhh turn your head...
white guy: Let's get this over with.
doctor Ice Cube: yeah uhh, rub a little alcohol on there, right here,
for you, and uhh brace yourself!
[click]
[BANG
song performed by by Ice Cube
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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In the white collar
In the white collar
Of the lowly sparrow
Puts me to mind of the priest
And the flying nun
I use to watch on b & w t v
T V outs me to mind
Patty Duke
And the twins
My sister and brother
Family raised in a cruel year
My brother puts me to mind
Of the men I call family
The gays met at the bar
The bar puts me to mind
Of the men I took home
Just for once for a night of joy
Joy puts me to mind
Of the time I expressed with setime puts me to mind
That now I am old
And self assured
In the way I go.
poem by David E. Patton
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Shot
[phones ringing, babies crying]
White guy: hi how ya doin ?
Nurse: doctors office, could you hold please? yes sir can I help you?
White guy: yes I have a four oclock appointment, Im here to get my shot.
Nurse: okay, come right with me.
White guy: this isnt gonna take too long is it?
Nurse: here we are, here have a seat right here.
White guy: oh great, thanks, thanks.
Nurse: the doctor will be right with you, and can I get you anything?
White guy: uhh maybe a glass of water would be great.
Nurse: okay great.
[door shuts]
White guy: damn, what is taking so long?
[door creaks open, funky music in the backround]
Doctor ice cube: yo wussup?
White guy: hi how ya doin ?
Doctor ice cube: alright, lets see what we got here uhh, mr. white huh?
White guy: yes sir thats me.
Doctor ice cube: heh, I heard you dont like shots do ya?
White guy: no I sure dont.
Doctor ice cube: aww youre a big boy uhh this wont hurt a bit,
Jus uhh turn your head...
White guy: lets get this over with.
Doctor ice cube: yeah uhh, rub a little alcohol on there, right here,
For you, and uhh brace yourself!
[click]
[bang!]
song performed by by Ice Cube
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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In That Corner Is The Soup
I have a degree from Harvard.
'I have a degree from Yale.'
~I have a degree from Columbia.
With a Master's packed in my sack.
To prove that I prevailed.~
**That's great.
All of you should feel extremely proud.
Now...
Here is the scoop,
Your bowls are over there.
And in that corner is the soup! **
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I say, life and figure are distinct attributes of one substance, and as one and the same body may be transmuted into all kinds of figures; and as the perfecter figure comprehends that which is more imperfect; so one and the same body may be transmuted from one degree of life to another more perfect, which always comprehends in it the inferior.… the case is the same in diverse degrees of life, which have indeed a beginning, but no end; so that the creature is always capable a farther and perfecter degree of life, ad infinitum, and yet can never attain to be equal with God; for he is still infinitely more perfect than a creature, in its highest elevation or perfection, even as a globe is the most perfect of all other figures, unto which none can approach.
quote by Anne Conway
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Qualified to Make Productive Contributions
Do you have a degree?
'A degree in what? '
You know?
Something that validates your intelligence!
'Oh...
Something that documents my discipline,
And education?
Something that verifies my verity,
To conform to the wholesomeness of humanity.
And I am now qualified to make productive contributions?
My life lived,
Has already provided the requirements.'
Uh...yeah...I guess.
Whatever that was you said.
'And...
I imagine you have at least 'one' degree? '
Of course!
I got me two.
And I'm gon' get me a job that pays.
'Hopefully not to teach English!
And...
Suppose I did not have that 'degree'.
Would that make my efforts less credible?
Would that make a fame or notoriety less worthy?
IF...
I should pursue that route.
I know this is difficult for you to believe...
But a degree doesn't measure my success felt.
And I feel pretty damn successful! '
So...
You 'do' have a degree?
'You've missed my point entirely.
And you...
Have been depicted as a scholar?
God...
Thank you for opening my mind,
And doors! '
OH!
So you've studied to be a minister?
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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He puts up with small annoyances to gain great results.
The bBest offering to God
work is
my prayer
to God
heart
soul
and mind
work is
the best offering
to God
it results
in a great work
for the world
it results
in a great
promotion
it results
in three
miracles
God is happy
I am happy
and the world is happy
poem by John Tiong Chunghoo
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Its A Mans World
(ice cube)
Women theyre good for nothing no maybe one thing
To serve needs to my ding-a-ling
Im a man who loves the one-night stand
Cause after I do ya
Huh I never knew ya
Cause to kick it man it gives me the fits
They wanna lay with they nose under your armpits
Ice cube wont wait so give it up cow
After we do it you can go home now
Im a brother with a big long...
(yo-yo)
First of all let me tell you my name its yo-yo
When down on a girl first the fist and thats a no-no
Yo-yo thinks the kitchen sink should be thrown in
Niggas be scheming and fiending to stick the bone in
No, yo-yos not a hoe or a whore
And if thats what youre here for
Exit through the door
Theres more
To see of me but youre blind so
Women like me are fading brothers in the 9-0
(ice cube)
Ay what up buttercupper miss yo-yo
I know you like to rap and like to flow so
But when it comes to hip-hop this is a mans world
Stay down and play the playground you little girl
(yo-yo)
What youre saying I dont consider it as rapping
Cause youre on rewind and Im the new whats-happening
It never fails Ill always get respect
And you lose so take a rain check
(ice cube)
Hell no cause you know that Im first and youre second
If it wasnt for me you probably be pregnant
And barefoot complaining that your back is aching
Shaking and faking while Im bringing home the bacon
(yo-yo)
Well youre mistaken
Its not going that far
I make brothers like you play the back yard
You used to flow with the title but I took it
Bring home the bacon but find another hoe to cook it
(ice cube)
Damn it look it
Cause youre talking a lot of bull
(yo-yo)
Well Im not your puppet so dont even try to pull
(ice cube)
This is a mans world thank you very much
(yo-yo)
But it wouldnt be a damn thing without a womans touch
(ice cube)
Ah miss yo-yo so what gives
I hear females always talkin about womens lib
Well get your own crib
And stay there
Instead of having more babies for the welfare
Cause if you dont Ill label you a gold digger
The name is ice cube you know that I aint the nigga
For you to look at when your hair get nappy
So take a piece of the pole and be happy
(yo-yo)
Hell no because to me youre not a thriller
You come in the room with your three-inch killer
Thinking you can do damage to my backbone
Leave your child in the yard until its full-grown
Im a put it like this my man
Without us your hand would be your best friend
So give us credit like you know you should
If I dont look good you dont look good
(ice cube)
I doubt it baby cause were still most dominant
(yo-yo)
But you dont know how funky that I can get
(ice cube)
This is a mans world thank you very much
(yo-yo)
But it wouldnt be a damn thing without a womans touch
(ice cube)
Man women I put a lot of fear in em
Cause I had it up to here with em
Drink a beer with em
No way cause I can only deal with em about an hour every day
Yeah if you know what I mean baby
(yo-yo-)
Well I guess now that I think about it I think maybe
If you was more of a man instead of faking it
Women deserve the credit when theyre making it
(ice cube)
Yeah so whats the problem
(yo-yo)
Well I think we solved it
I know they know the best male from whos doggin it
(ice cube)
Yeah I admit you can flow
(yo-yo)
Well thats true
(ice cube)
But you see Im a pro with the bank too
(yo-yo)
Yeah I can see you got it good
(ice cube)
Oh that I know
(yo-yo)
But you see youre not better than yo-yo
The brand-new intelligent black lady
(ice cube)
Youre kinda dope but you still cant fade me
(yo-yo)
So what up then
(ice cube)
Girl what you tryin to do
(yo-yo)
To prove a black woman like me can bring the funk through
(ice cube)
This is a mans world thank you very much
(yo-yo)
But it wouldnt be a damn thing without a womans touch
(ice cube)
Or a big butt...
song performed by by Ice Cube
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sonnet- Medical History In Diagnosis
O Healer, lend thine ears to his story!
He talks by heart and cannot lie a lot;
To make the diagnosis and gain glory,
To all things possible, you must give thought.
Remember, patients come in much distress;
They need a soul kind who will hear their case;
The disease-state puts one into great stress;
A good history is the diagnosing-base.
Suspect all conditions under the Sun;
The eyes can see what mind already knows;
Examining case for clues is serious fun;
To every doctor, patient, his life owes.
Oh healer, God is the Physician, so great!
His help we need to change the patient’s state.
poem by John Celes
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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0135An informal note to God
In case you were on holiday, this nice sunny weather,
(and may I say, what a great idea the Sun is?)
I thought I'd dropp you a line to say, in case you missed it
that our great President, the Bush
who burns with virtue like an oil well yields,
approves that 'Intelligent Design' should be made
along with the Theory of Evolution
a cornerstone of the education of our great nation.
So just in case you felt a little reduced in function
and come back from holiday to
'Oh, were you away? We hadn't missed you...'
and your new official status, that you were simply around
(around? hmmm) to 'flick the switch'
while two something-or-others got together
to evolve a Creation with its quaint old ideas, like love,
(and by the way, your bright idea
of one, two and three, etc., was cute, too...)
I'd just like to take this opportunity to say
that in your modest role of
Intelligent Design
you certainly flicked the switch on
a pretty spectacular show - including those laws
which, understood by some quite impressive intelligences,
enabled the rather smaller, but impressive
'intelligent design' of the space-shuttle
to.. er.. 'evolve'.. and
to fly a fraction, Icarus-like,
nearer the sun...yep, some show...
So 'intelligent design' would be, like,
from those two proto-thingies that happened to
to meet across a room crowded with...emptiness? or everything? -
to whatever intelligent design might be needed
from Now, and every new 'invention' in the world
until...well... Then...
That seems something even better than Evolution
and a bit similar to Providence and
well, sort of.. eternal...? And universal too...
So if You are still enjoying your seventh day of rest
this pleasant sunny weather (somewhere
ecologically balanced, like the seaside, may I hope?) ,
thanks.
poem by Michael Shepherd
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Sonnet: Medical History In Diagnosis
O Healer, lend thine ears to his story!
He talks by heart and cannot lie a lot;
To make the diagnosis and gain glory,
To all things possible, you must give thought.
Remember, patients come in much distress;
They need a soul kind who will hear their case;
The disease-state puts one into great stress;
A good history is the diagnosing-base.
Suspect all conditions under the Sun;
The eyes can see what mind already knows;
Examining case for clues is serious fun;
To every doctor, patient, his life owes.
Oh healer, God is the Physician, so great!
His help we need to change the patient’s state.
31-5-2000 by John Celes
poem by John Celes
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Statistics The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.
Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.
All of us should have free choice when it comes to patriotic displays... a government wisely acting within its bounds will earn loyalty and respect from its citizens. A government dare not demand the same.
quote by Jesse Ventura
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government.
quote by Thomas Jefferson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Roots Bloody Roots
Roots Bloody Roots
Roots Bloody Roots
Roots Bloody Roots
Roots Bloody Roooaaaaaahh
I believe
In Our Fate
We Don't Need To Fake
It's All We Wanna Be
Watch Me Freeeaaak !!
I Say
We're Growing Every Day
Getting Stronger In Every Way
I'll Take You To A Place
Where We Shall Find Our
Roots Bloody Roots
Roots Bloody Roots
Roots Bloody Roots
Roots Bloody Roots
Rain
Bring Me The Strength
Is Breeding Me This Way
To Get To Another Day
And All I Want To See
Set Us Free
Why
Can't You See
Can't You Feel
This Is Real
Ahhh
I Pray
We Don't Need To Change
Our Ways To Be Saved
That All We Wanna Be
Watch Us Freak
song performed by by Sepultura
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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All's Well
Watchman, watchman, what of the night,
What of the night to tell?
The heavens are dark, and never a light
But the far-off flicker of Hell.
But the steed is in the stall,
Unsleeping;
And the warder on the wall,
Watch-keeping;
And the granary is stored,
And ready gun and sword.
In the name of the Lord,
All's Well!
Watchman, watchman, what of the night,
What of the night to tell?
The wind blows fierce, and the foam flies white,
And the waters moan and swell.
But the foes to haven keep,
Safe hiding;
And our ships are on the deep,
Sure riding;
And the gallant hearts on board
Keep ceaseless watch and ward.
In the name of the Lord,
All's Well!
Watchman, watchman, what of the night,
What of the night to tell?
There are widows weeping, and babes affright,
And a ceaseless burial bell.
But the hand that holds the gun
Still shakes not;
And the line drops one by one,
Yet breaks not.
Of the blood so nobly poured
There shall surely be reward.
In the name of the Lord,
All's Well
poem by Francis William Bourdillon
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It stands, essentially, for the application of increased energy to the efforts already undertaken by my ministry since 1934 with the results shown in the above statistics.
quote by Hjalmar Schacht
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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