The Shot
[phones ringing, babies crying]
White guy: hi how ya doin ?
Nurse: doctors office, could you hold please? yes sir can I help you?
White guy: yes I have a four oclock appointment, Im here to get my shot.
Nurse: okay, come right with me.
White guy: this isnt gonna take too long is it?
Nurse: here we are, here have a seat right here.
White guy: oh great, thanks, thanks.
Nurse: the doctor will be right with you, and can I get you anything?
White guy: uhh maybe a glass of water would be great.
Nurse: okay great.
[door shuts]
White guy: damn, what is taking so long?
[door creaks open, funky music in the backround]
Doctor ice cube: yo wussup?
White guy: hi how ya doin ?
Doctor ice cube: alright, lets see what we got here uhh, mr. white huh?
White guy: yes sir thats me.
Doctor ice cube: heh, I heard you dont like shots do ya?
White guy: no I sure dont.
Doctor ice cube: aww youre a big boy uhh this wont hurt a bit,
Jus uhh turn your head...
White guy: lets get this over with.
Doctor ice cube: yeah uhh, rub a little alcohol on there, right here,
For you, and uhh brace yourself!
[click]
[bang!]
song performed by by Ice Cube
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
The Shot (intro)
phones ringing babies crying]
white guy: Hi how ya doin' ?
nurse: Doctor's office could you hold please? Yes sir can I help you?
white guy: Yes I have a four o'clock appointment I'm here to get my shot.
nurse: Okay come right with me.
white guy: This isn't gonna take too long is it?
nurse: Here we are here have a seat right here.
white guy: Oh great thanks thanks.
nurse: The doctor will be right with you, and can I get you anything?
white guy: Uhh maybe a glass of water would be great.
nurse: Okay great.
[door shuts]
white guy: Damn, what is taking so long?
[door creaks open, funky music in the backround]
doctor Ice Cube: Yo wussup?
white guy: Hi how ya doin' ?
doctor Ice Cube: Alright, let's see what we got here uhh, Mr. White huh?
white guy: Yes sir that's me.
doctor Ice Cube: heh, I heard you don't like shots do ya?
white guy: No I sure don't.
doctor Ice Cube: Aww you're a big boy uhh this won't hurt a bit,
jus' uhh turn your head...
white guy: Let's get this over with.
doctor Ice Cube: yeah uhh, rub a little alcohol on there, right here,
for you, and uhh brace yourself!
[click]
[BANG
song performed by by Ice Cube
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Dirty White Boy
Hey, baby, if youre feelin down
I know whats good for you all day
Are you worried what your friends see
Will it ruin your reputation lovin me
cause Im a dirty white boy
Yeah a dirty white boy
A dirty white boy
Dont drive no big black car
Dont like no hollywood movie star
You want me to be true to you
You dont give a damn what I do to you
Im just a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, dirty white boy
Dirty white boy
Well, Im a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, yeah, dirty white boy
A dirty white boy
Ive been in trouble since I dont know when
Im in trouble now and I now somehow Ill find trouble again
Im a loner, but Im never alone
Every night I get one step closer to the danger zone
cause Im a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, yeah, dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, Im a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy
Cmon, cmon boy
Dirty white boy, white boy
Dirty white boy, Im a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy
Hey, Im a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, yeah, Im a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, dirty white boy, yeah
song performed by by Foreigner
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Stuck In A Closet With Vanna White
Doctor, every night I have the strangest dreams
Doctor, listen to me, tell me what this means
First Im goin shoppin in my underwear
Then all of sudden Im floating in mid air
My lips fall off and everybody starts to stare
Donuts and hot dogs are flying everywhere
Now doctor, wait a minute, you aint heard nothin yet
Next comes the part that I wont ever forget
Now Im bein followed by these russian spies
They give me some velcro, and an order of fries
Suddenly Im bowling on the starship enterprise
I fall down a hole and thats when I realize
I am stuck in a closet with vanna white
Im stuck in a closet with vanna white
Night after night after night after night
All right!
Doctor, wont you tell me, am I going insane
Was it something I ate or something wrong with my brain
See, Im naked in church when I meet a dinosaur
Try to run, but my feet have been nailed to the floor
Then a midget pushes me through a revolving door
And Im back in the very same place I was before
Now Im stuck in a closet with vanna white
Im stuck in a closet with vanna white
Night after night after night after night
And I cant bust out and I cant break free
And its gettin just a little too stuffy here for me
And I cant go home and I cant get loose
And I try to escape but its just no use
And I cant ever leave and I cant ever win
And were runnin outta air and the walls are closin in
And I cant go back and I cant get through
But vanna since youre here, why dont you let me buy a vowel from you
Come on vanna, come on!
Ow, buhhh
Doctor, all those crazy dreams have started again
Thats right, I even wake up screaming now and then
See, Im coming home from work but I forgot my address
Im half an hour late for my algebra test
Then some slimy alien jumps out of my chest
And Im falling and falling and I guess you know the rest
I am stuck in a closet with vanna white
Im stuck in a closet with vanna white
Night after night after night after night
I am stuck in a closet with vanna white
Stuck in a closet with vanna white
N-n-n-night after night after night night night
Then Im stuck in a closet with vanna white (ya-ya ya-ya, ya-ya, ya, ya-ya)
Im stuck in a closet with vanna white
Night after night after night after night
I am stuck in a closet with vanna white (ya-ya ya-ya ya-ya ya-ya)
I am stuck in a closet with vanna white
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Nurse
When all of your loved ones are gone
And you're waiting for the doctor to come,
I'm the one that you're getting angry at
'Cause you see me coming around.
Instead of hating you or getting mad,
I try to show you how to understand.
Though I'm not a doctor to save someone's life,
I 'll sit close beside you and I will listen
To your complaints, suffering, and pain
Somehow, I may take away all your fears.
Though I'm not a doctor who prescribes medicines,
I'll serve you with tender loving care.
For me, that's something I should be proud of.
Even in your slightest discomforts,
I am with you always
Making sure that you're alright,
As you're taken care with love and respect.
I am the one who believes in miracles
With my soft and gentle voice,
I bring you love and hope,
Render you my skillful care,
And show you my priceless smiles.
I am the one that comforts,
Stands and cares for you.
The one who dares to touch your hands
In your delicate moments
When you're feeling lonely and hopeless.
I'm the one who lets you know
That I will stay close beside you
When there is no one to embrace you.
Yes, I am the one with white uniforms.
A nurse with a caring nature
Who has compassion and empathy for others.
An advocate nurse
That the ultimate goal on earth is
For the best of the human race.
poem by Alon Calinao Dy
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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White Lie
One little white lie
One white lie surrounds us
One white lie wont stop the love
That I feel around us
Darlin, do you think about me
What I feel for you, dont you ever doubt me
You see the lock on the door
Of this heart, but you hold the key
I need the trust you can give
Is there something that you need from me?
One little white lie
One white lie surrounds us
One white lie wont stop the love
That I feel around us
Secrets, and the way we keep them
Between you and me
Promise well never need them
I can see something so true
No one else could ever see
And Ill never chance losing you
I believe my heart, I hear what its telling me
One little white lie
One white lie surrounds us
One white lie wont stop the love
That I feel around us
One little white lie
One white lie tears us apart
One white lie wont stop the love
Thats waiting in this heart
Thats waiting in this heart
Temptation leave us alone
cause I know youre always there
But white lies can weigh like stone
And in this world I hear them everywhere
One little white lie, ooh yeah
One white lie surrounds us
One white lie wont stop the love
That I feel around us
One little white lie, one lie
One white lie tears us apart
One white lie wont stop the love
Thats waiting in this heart
Thats waiting in this heart
One lie, one lie
One little white lie, one white lie
One white lie, one little white lie
song performed by by Foreigner
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My White Bicycle
My white bicycle, my white bicycle
Riding all around the street
Four oclock and theyre all asleep
Im not tired and its so late
Moving fast everything looks great.
My white bicycle, my white bicycle
See that man, hes all alone
Looks so happy but hes far from home
Ring my bell, smile at him
Better kick over his garbage bin
My white bicycle, my white bicycle
The rain comes down but I dont care
The wind is blowing in my hair
Seagulls flying in the air
My white bicycle
Lead:
Policeman shouts but I dont see him
Theyre one thing I dont believe in
Find some judge, but its not leavin
Lift both hands, his head in disgrace
Shines no light upon my face
Through the darkness, we still speed
My white bicycle and me
My white bicycle, my white bicycle
(burgess/west)
Getaway music
Copyright 1975 nazareth (dunfermline) ltd
song performed by by Nazareth
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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White Shoes
(jack tempchin)
I want em, I need em
And Im gonna go out and get em
White shoes
I know Ill feel better
When I slide down into the leather
White shoes
White shoes ... woah, oh, oh... white shoes
White shoes ... woah, oh, oh... white shoes
I woke up from a dream
When I saw em in a magazine
White shoes
I said lou you gotta start new
And the first thing you gotta do
Is get some white shoes
White shoes ... woah, oh, oh... white shoes
White shoes ... woah, oh, oh... white shoes
You know he left me with the lonesome blues
Been hangin round too long with nothin to do
Yeah, he really made me pay those dues
But Im goin out on the town tonight in
White shoes
Well, I wanted em, I needed em
Yeah, and I went out and got em
White shoes
That new boy when I see him
Im gonna walk right up and meet him in
White shoes
White shoes ... woah, oh, oh... white shoes
White shoes
Im goin out on the town tonight
White shoes ... woah, oh, oh... white shoes
White shoes ... woah, oh, oh... white shoes
song performed by by Emmylou Harris
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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White Comedy
I waz whitemailed
By a white witch,
Wid white magic
An white lies,
Branded by a white sheep
I slaved as a whitesmith
Near a white spot
Where I suffered whitewater fever.
Whitelisted as a whiteleg
I waz in de white book
As a master of white art,
It waz like white death.
People called me white jack
Some hailed me as a white wog,
So I joined de white watch
Trained as a white guard
Lived off the white economy.
Caught and beaten by de whiteshirts
I waz condemned to a white mass,
Don't worry,
I shall be writing to de Black House.
poem by Benjamin Zephaniah
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Dead Before I Was Born
Well the lord must have had his day of when I was born
He went to bed closed his eyes and had some fun
Mummy sad she wanted me and I was welcome
Daddy gave his sperm and it was done
The first thing that I saw was white
The nurse cam with the scissors and said: its a boy
The doctor hit my ass, said come on cry
And then I started to scream and I was alive
Ooh ooh I was dead before I was born
And now Im here and I dont know why
Cause I wasnt asked at all
song performed by by Fury In The Slaughterhouse
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I Need A Doctor
In the morning
Radio jingles
Drive me mental
Turning my blood into water (yeah)
Hear the shallow -
Conversation
From the station
Sugar cube a generation (yeah!)
But aah would you take me home?
Aah - would you know what to do -
When we got there?
Aah - may I use your phone?
I need my mother!
(so) educate me
Radio ego
I will follow
But what will I find tomorrow (well? )
But aah would you take me home
Aah to the little white hospital -
In my head
Aah - may I use your phone
I need my mother? !
But aah would you take me home
Aah would you know what to do -
When we got there?
Aah - may I use your phone
I need a doctor!
song performed by by Underworld
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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White Boys & Heroes
Were in the movies
Were heroes
We sparkle at night
Love among puppets
And one day
Ill pull all the strings
White boys and heroes
White boys and heroes
See boys say Im mayhem
Was my wife the doctor
The patient
Or something obscene
A history of nothing
Like a see-through song in disguise
Heroes are tough
And have no time
For women and boys
I wont cry
Till this thing is over
And someone agrees
White boys and heroes
White boys and heroes
See boys say Im mayhem
White boys and heroes
We have no time for celebration
We have no time left at all
White boys and heroes
song performed by by Gary Numan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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White Light, White Heat
(as heard on the ziggy farwell concert lp.)
White light - white light gonna drive me out of my brain
White light - white light gonna make me feel so insane
White heat - white heat shapin them down to my toes
White light - white lights got it now, goodness knows
White light - white light gonna drive me out of my mind
White light - white lights surely gonna make me blind
White heat - white heat shaping way down to my toes
White light - white light could kill me now, goodness knows
Oh, oh, white light
Oh, oh, white light
Oh, oh, white heat
Oh, oh, white heat
White light - white light gonna drive me out of my brain
White light - white light gonna make me feel so insane
White heat - white heat shapin them down to my toes
White light - white lights got it now, goodness knows
White light - white light gonna drive me out of my mind
White light - white lights surely gonna make me blind
White heat - white heat shaping way down to my toes
White light - white light could kill me now, goodness knows
Oh, oh, white light
Oh, oh, white light
Oh, oh, white heat
Oh, oh, white heat
Oh, oh, white light
Oh, oh, white light
Oh, oh, white heat
Oh, oh, white heat
White lights a-flashing
White light
Still feels right
Whats that sound, whats that sound
Dont turn on, be dead or alive
No feeling
Here she comes
Oww, yeah
(oh, oh, oh, oh) here she comes
(oh, oh, oh, oh)
(oh, oh, oh, oh)
(ah, ah, ah, ah)
song performed by by David Bowie
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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White Boys And Heroes
We're in the movies
We're heroes
We sparkle at night
Love among puppets
And one day
I'll pull all the strings
White boys and heroes
White boys and heroes
See boys say I'm mayhem
Was my wife the doctor
The patient
Or something obscene
A history of nothing
Like a see-through song in disguise
Heroes are tough
And have no time
For women and boys
I won't cry
Till this thing is over
And someone agrees
White boys and heroes
White boys and heroes
See boys say I'm mayhem
White boys and heroes
We have no time for celebration
We have no time left at all
White boys and heroes
G. Webb Jan '82
song performed by by Gary Numan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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White and Red
The cold,
the white,
that fell,
from the sky.
The warm,
The red,
That fell,
from my skin.
The white is clean,
stained by my red.
It is white and I am red,
But I am now one with white,
and the white is one with red,
What is white,
what is red,
If something is white,
Then it cant be red,
If something is red,
then it cant be white,
Something that is not white...
Something that is not red...
Something that is both...
Is what?
poem by Rebecca Adams
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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White Boy
Black boys employ salassie
We kiss we define
White hands white hearts
The gender
How can I make you mine
Take me to god
In a world of blank kisses
Who breaks the colours
I know what this is
A one man show
Thats how we know
Thats how we know
Your white does the blood flow
Chorus:
Your white dance like an enemy
Your white dance like an enemy
Your white dance like an enemy
White boys fall out
In a whirl of decisions
Show me what is
Then show me what isnt
A heart too slow
Thats how we know
Thats how we know
Your white does the blood flow
(chorus)
Youre so white
Youre so white
White boy (x6)
White boy dance
Do something sweet
Like pull my heart
Like use your feet
Like steal some culture
Lets fake this dance
A white boy kiss
A white boy chance
Dont take me over
Abuse my heart
When I change colour Im here stop start
Hey devil kiss me
Im taking chances
Not faking my culture
The rythym it dances
I love your wisdom
I love your mind
White boys are babys (not my kind)
This lust in fashion
Thats my sin
By falling out
Were falling in
Now Im broken
Watch it flow
Im taking over
Cant let go (falling out with the bad boys)
song performed by by Culture Club
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Lady Godivas Operation
(reed)
Lady godiva here dressed so demurely
Pats the head of another curly hair boy, just another toy
Sick with silence she weeps sincerly
Saying words that have oh so clearly been said
So long ago
Draperies wrapped gently around her shoulder
Life has made her that much bolder now
That shes found out how
Dressed in silk, latin, lace and envy
Pride and joy of the latest funny faire
Pretty passing care
Hair today now dipped in the water
Making love to every poor daughters son
Isnt it fun
Now today propping frace with envy
Lady godiva peers to see if anyones there
And hasnt a care
Doctor is coming the nurse thinks sweetly
Turning on the machine and neatlypump air
The body lies bare
Shaed and hairless what onces was screaming
Now lies silent and almost sleeping
The brain must have gone away
Strapped securely to the white table
Ether caused the body to wither and writhe
Underneath the wight light
Doctor arrives with knife and baggage
Sees the growth as just so much cabbage
That now
Must be cut away
Now comes the moment of great! great! decision!
The doctor is making his first incision!
One goes here - one goes there
The ether tubes leaking says someone whos sloppy
Patient it seems is not so well sleeping
The screams echo up the hall
Dont panic someone give him pentathol instantly
Doctor removes his blade
Cagily so from the brain
By m count of ten -
The head wont move
song performed by by Velvet Underground
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Night Nurse
Tell her try her best just to make it quick
Woman tend to the sick
Because there must be something she can do
This heart is broken in two
Tell her its a case of emergency
Theres a patient by the name of mickey
Night nurse
Only you alone can quench this here thirst
My night nurse oh god
Oh the pain is getting worse
I dont want to see no doc
I need attendance from my nurse around the clock
Because theres no prescription for me
Shes the one the only remedy
My night nurse
Only you alone can quench this here thirst
My night nurse
Oh the pain is getting worse
Im hurt my love
I dont want to see no doc
I need attendance from my nurse around the clock
Because there s no prescription for me
Shes the one the only remedy
Night nurse
Only you alone can quench this here thirst
My night nurse
Oh the pain is getting worse
Im hurt my love
And Im sure no no doctor got a cure
My night nurse
My night nurse
My night nurse
song performed by by Simply Red
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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White Like That
one thing is for sure
I don't need it
makes my life a war
what a bore
don't you understand
it wasn't ever my plan?
I guess you just can't see
what you do when you blame it all on me
white like that
I'm white like that
It's all the same
said one thing and mean another
who are you gonna lose?
who are you gonna choose?
what do you think I'm gonna do?
what are you thinking?
white like that
I'm white like that
It's all the same
who's gonna lose?
so who's gonna lose?
they call me white trash
white like that
I'm white like that
It's all the same
white like that
I'm white like that
It's all the same game
so who's gonna lose?
who's gonna lose?
song performed by by Filter from Short Bus
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Kill All The White Man
The white man call himself civilized
Cause he know how to take over
The white man come to pillage my village
Now he tell me I have to bend over
Oh yeah, kill all the white man
No I dont like the white man up in me
He rape my people as he rape my country
Everything I love and cherish, he try to take away
We will be rid of him, soon come the day
Oh yeah, kill all the white man
Oh yeah, kill all the white man
Oh yeah, kill all the white man
Oh yeah, kill all the white man
song performed by by NOFX
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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White Room
I can see her at her windows watching
Locked away inside her skin
I can see her but I cant get to her
She wont come out, and she wont let me into
The white room (shes living in)
Lying alone til she comes undone
In the white room
She burns for the real thing
But it wont come
In her head is the same obsession
And all the bottles and pills wont heal her heart
She heard his last confession
Every word just tears her apart
In the white room (locked away)
Doing time til her time is done
In the white room theres so much to say
But the words wont come
Come back to the land of the living
When you gonna break that chain
Theres much too much that youre leaving
And youre never gonna stop the rain
In the white room
Waiting for the call that never comes
In the white room, she waits
Look at something long enough youll find
That the splinters and the cracks begin to show
Ill be the first in line when the walls start falling
And she lets go of
The white room (its late)
Living alone only makes you numb
In the white room
She burns for the real thing but it wont come
Come back to the land of the living
When you gonna break that chain
Theres much too much that youre leaving
And youre never gonna stop the rain
In the white room (shes living in)
Doing time til her time is done
In the white room she burns
In the white room (its late)
Lying alone till she comes undone
In the white room she waits
In the white room...
song performed by by Rick Springfield
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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