The Rape of the Trap. A Ballad
'Twas in a land of learning,
The Muse's favourite city,
Such pranks of late
Were play'd by a rat,
As-tempt one to be witty.
All in a college study,
Where books were in great plenty;
This rat would devour
More sense in an hour,
Than I could write-in twenty.
Corporeal food, 'tis granted,
Serves vermin less refined,
Sir But this, a rat of taste,
All other rats surpass'd,
And he prey'd on the food of the mind, Sir.
His breakfast, half the morning
He constantly attended;
And when the bell rung
For evening song,
His dinner scarce was ended!
He spared not even heroics,
On which we poets pride us,
And would make no more
Of King Arthurs, by the score,
Than-all the world beside does.
In books of geography
He made the maps to flutter;
A river or a sea
Was to him a dish of tea;
And a kingdom, bread and butter.
But if some mawkish potion
Might chance to overdose him,
To check its rage,
He took a page
Of logic-to compose him-
A Trap, in haste and anger,
Was brought, you need not doubt on't,
And, such was the gin,
Were a lion once got in,
He could not, I think, get out on't.
With cheese, not books, 'twas baited;
The fact-I'll not belie it-
Since none-I tell you that-
Whether scholar or rat,
Minds books when he has other diet.
But more of Trap and bait, Sir,
Why should I sing, or either?
Since the rat, who knew the sleight,
Came in the dead of night,
And dragg'd them away together.
Both Trap and bait were vanish'd
Through a fracture in the flooring;
Which though so trim
It now may seem
Had then-a dozen or more in.
Then answer this, ye sages!
Nor deem I mean to wrong ye,
Had the rat, which thus did seize on
The Trap, less claim to reason,
Than many a skull among ye?
Dan Prior's mice, I own it,
Were vermin of condition;
But this rat, who merely learn'd
What rats alone concern'd,
Was the greater politician.
That England's topsyturvy
Is clear from these mishaps, Sir;
Since Traps, we may determine,
Will no longer take our vermin,
But vermin take our Traps, Sir.
Let sophs, by rats infested,
Then trust in cats to catch them,
Lest they grow as learn'd as we
In our studies ; where, d' ye see,
No mortal sits to watch them.
Good luck betide our captains,
Good luck betide our cats, Sir,
And grant that the one
May quell the Spanish Don,
And the other destroy our rats, Sir.
poem by William Shenstone
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Related quotes
Here! Here...You Take The Cheese
Mice like rats and slick napping cats,
Only appear to do as they please...
When it is believed the coast is clear,
To re-energize their determined activities.
Only when they are unmistakably trapped,
Do mice and rats feel the penetrating claws...
Of those one eye opening awakening cats,
With a squealing of their innocence.
'Here! Here...
You take the cheese.
I'm on a diet anyway.
I was only in your neighborhood,
Seeking a way to cement new friendships.'
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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The Batchelors Song
Like a Dog with a bottle, fast ti'd to his tail,
Like Vermin in a trap, or a Thief in a Jail,
Or like a Tory in a Bog,
Or an Ape with a Clog:
Such is the man, who when he might go free,
Does his liberty loose,
For a Matrimony noose,
And sels himself into Captivity;
The Dog he do's howl, when his bottle do's jog,
The Vermin, the Theif, and the Tory in vain
Of the trap, of the Jail, of the Quagmire complain.
But welfare poor Pug! for he playes with his Clog;
And tho' he would be rid on't rather than his life,
Yet he lugg's it, and he hug's it, as a man does his wife.
poem by Thomas Flatman
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Poetry: Ode To A Little Mouse
Ode To A Little Mouse
By Laijon Liu 20091009
'Misery acquaints a man with strange bedfellows.'
- Shakespeare, The Tempest Act 2, scene 2, Line 40
01
In my tiny room, there’s a little mouse
A New Yorker he is, a resident of Queens
He’s lonely like me and nameless he is
He works all the days to see who he really is
Oh, my heart cries for you, my little friend
This world too big and your life too frail
In my roommate rooms they set the clip traps
And in each corner they prepared your last meal
But you still, running wise and boring brave
To be a master of your own fate, not a slave!
02
For that sweet cheese cake! You try to nose
For whole life among the rooms and traps
Oh dream of fulfillment, drives living purpose
That one day you may gain fat like those rats
But no, you are in my room, but I only have books
This is not a restaurant, nor subway tracks
And out there on street, too many wild cats
They are not house pets that live on diet food
So, you must be patient and do with what you have
For you haven’t met any girl mouse yet
03
Oh, love for a little mouse? Too unreal!
How that 2-second intimacy can make you feel?
What’s after, still loneliness, emptiness,
Such state even human wail and gods pale
In this mice and rats crowded capital,
How many couples truly find their nest?
Once you were born into this cold world
Then you must walk and search alone
Btwn the walls, sneak in and out the pipes
And hoping to find your sweet cheese
04
Go! You little mouse! Be smart and brave!
Don’t just hide in my tiny room
Even though you moved in here first
But your life is not staying here and starve
Even though I never wanted to trap you
Nor I’m too wicked to poison you
Still, you must go out and be stuffed
For all those trashes are waiting for you
And you might be luckier than me
Soon walk with a mouse next door in flowery forest
05
Yes, you already used to be in this room
And I dare not to claim what I paid it’s mine
So all these years I let you stay in your corner
And marked the spot with a cookie each month
But it does not mean that I’ve accepted you
Or changed my mind to receive you as my pet
Mice and rats are not equal with dogs and cats
Not even people on earth obtain same rights
Maybe only in sleep or heavy drinks
So we can all be a big happy family
06
How many times at night I wake up
Fearing you may sneak into my bed
And how many times I almost hit you
That you broke the law of this room
Even though I’m a guy that fears a mouse
But in madness men can march out for kill
And not to mention if I find girlfriend, God willing
Then I’d be forced to set poison and traps
Haven't you ever heard that in love
A woman is more jealous than death?
07
Oh, you little mouse, sad and alone
All your life you search in hunger and fear
But tonight, you are so lucky
You’ve got a safe corner, no trap or death cookie
A poet observes you with his drink
And writes a few drunken verse in ink
Not for his love, not for any girl
But only for you, my roommate and companion
How are we two miserable creatures
Under same shelter, sharing same roof!
08
Let’s enjoy this moment for a temporal rest
Before sunlight shoots into this tiny room
You little mouse has worked all night
Yet must get up in hurry for a weary road
Man labors from cell to cell
To chase his dream in tunnels of world
Mouse seeks from pipe to pipe
To look for his cheese in the hall of trap
And both come back in dust and dark
Till one day we must part for love or death.
Note:
Thanks to Mr. Joe Poewhit, I searched Shakespeare's verse for this poem and add it for an intro.
poem by Laijon Liu
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The Year Of The Rat
A Chinese friend informed me that
This is the astrological year of the rat
Though an animal lover I’ve always been
A year full of rats will cause me chagrin
A pup or a kitten would be more to my taste
Their barks and their mews I’d more easily face
With our two legged rats we seem to prefer
We’ve vermin enough, I think you’ll concur
If we skip over this rat laden calendar year
I don’t believe it would cause too many a tear
But tearful or not, I think we should heed it
That a year full of rats is really not needed
poem by Stanley Cooper
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Night Runners Competition Counted
we enjoy counting the rats
running around at night,
when we are arriving home
on our faithful motorbike,
usually two or three rats to see,
Kayla and I have a competition
counting first spied rats we see,
who can spot local drain rats first
the biggest rats seen truthfully
are as big as healthy pet cats,
we go look at pets frequently
in BSD once a week we peep,
in at a pet shop when we watch,
a movie in expedition BSD every week
a family movie is a special treat,
our two happy daughters think it so neat
our neigbour concreted over their open drain
next door rats love their drains seldom stray,
so less rats outside rats too close we do disdain
rats who venture close in life peril cannot stay,
if any bold rats venture into our house ceiling,
these rats are disposed of poisoned very quickly
our rule is no entry for any rats poison strictly,
tropical rat best learn trespass has no pity feeling.
poem by Terence George Craddock
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Monks, mice, rats, vermin, seldom sunder without harming.
Rats Of Bikaner
Rats of black and grey
Were scurrying across
the floors of Karni Matha Temple.
Rats are not a scourge there
and people scatter minute eatables.
Munching the grains strewn around,
the fearless rats scamper about
the inner sanctorum of the Goddess.
Where had scuttled off that white rat?
People searched to ferret it out,
but it eludes watch or catch.
The sight of it would bring luck and wealth!
But I saw one in white marble
lying before the idol of Matha.
A strange sanctuary for rats
in that semi-desert land!
Even the dead ones are not given
a quick decent burial with rites.
The Rajputs don’t celebrate the wedding of rats
as we do for asses for abundant rains.
Cats scenting rats don’t enter
and I am sure there is no rat- fever.
People are given preferential visas
as they eat meat, chicken, beaf and fork
and alas, the flesh of rats ignored!
News hadn’t reached Ghazni Mohammed
or else he would have marched to Bikaner
to rob the white rat instead of raiding
again and again that Somnathpur
passing through the desert and marsh.
poem by Rajendran Muthiah
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The Fearful Traveller In The Haunted Castle
Oft do I hear those windows ope
And shut with dread surprise,
And spirits murmur as they grope,
But break not on the eyes.
Still fancy spies the winding sheet,
The phantom and the shroud,
And bids the pulse of horror beat
Throughout my ears aloud.
Some unknown finger thumps the door,
From one of faltering voice,
Till some one seems to walk the floor
With an alarming noise.
The drum of horror holds her sound,
Which will not let me sleep,
When ghastly breezes float around,
And hidden goblins creep.
Methinks I hear some constant groan,
The din of all the dead,
While trembling thus I lie alone,
Upon this restless bed.
At length the blaze of morning broke
On my impatient view,
And truth or fancy told the joke,
And bade the night adieu.
'Twas but the noise of prowling rats,
Which ran with all their speed,
Pursued in haste by hungry cats,
Which on the vermin feed.
Those creatures crumbling off the cheese
Which on the table lay;
Some cats, too quick the rogues to seize,
With rumbling lost their prey.
Thus man is often his own elf,
Who makes the night his ghost,
And shrinks with horror from himself,
Which is to fear the most.
The cat growl'd as she held her prey,
Which shriek'd with all its might,
And drove she balm of sleep away
Throughout the live-long night.
poem by George Moses Horton
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Home Truths
Seeking a Truth
The sewers under the abortion clinic
is where successful rats live and only
the strongest survives.
From the bland food of suburbia and
narrow minded excrements, unwilling
given back to the drains and nature.
These big rats have survived to sit by
the top table and be respected as those
who deserves a prize for endurance.
They live on sludge of fetuses, tiny fingers
small, beating hearts; also, clean livers;
and the rats grow and reason as humans
Rich rats now have an army of lesser
rats to defend them, nothing last always,
but for some it ended before it began.
poem by Oskar Hansen
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SQUATTERS (Slum-Dwellers)
We cleaned the Dorm this morning
and found the dead rat
The Matron said it stank
and must be thrown out.
I suggested a good grave
but she said,
"Throw it into the garbage."
I pity the innocent rat
helpless at the dreadful
claws of the cat.
So we argued.
She said, "Rats are dreadful!
and cats are the protectors! "
She complained about her loss
Mentioned about the her torn,
Tattered rags and cartoons.
She said, "Rats must be exterminated
That the City of man gets rid
Of the ugly and grotesque! "
But I said,
"They need their right home
and if dead, they need
the right grave."
I see no longer the native rats
because of the wild cats
No more torn, tattered rags,
papers and cartoons.
And the wild cats rejoice
over the order and new wonders
for which the Matron -
the recipient of congratulations.
"Rats must not contaminate
the City of Man, "
the Matron said.
And she added,
"They are eyesores
They smell and stink
so throw them
into the garbage."
__________________
poem by Elizabeth Padillo Olesen
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Admit The Rat (Interlude)
I got a story
bout all these rats
all the sewer rats
all these gun rats
im talkin bout all these gold diggen rats
these hood rats
my grandmothers a rat
she's just an old school rat
my mothers a rat
she's just a high class rat
my sisters rats
she's just a middle class rat
my cousins rats
they just low class rats
im tired of rats tryin to get into my boyz pockets
im tired of rats tryin to ride around in my cars
im tired of rats talkin all that jibber jabber to their friends
but ond day these rats are gonna be straight
no diss to rats
cuz there are some rats that i love too
my message to you today is admit the rat in you
to all women admitt the rat in you
admit the rat in you
admit the rat in you
admit the rat in you
song performed by by Next
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Caught In A Trap
Sometimes you get caught in a trap and you dont know it
Sometimes its better to get out while you know it
Some people never learn they keep on falling
You can never get out if you keep on stalling
Then you get,
(chorus:) caught in a trap caught in dead end
Caught in a trap with nowhere to run
Then you get, caught in a trap caught in dead end
Nowhere to turn but it cant go on
Caught in a trap
Sometimes you got to know where to run for cover
Sometimes your better out till the heat is over
Ah you get (chorus)
Caught in a trap
Dont know how it happened but then its too late
Then you gotta move on the times, you cant wait
Cus you got (chorus)
(chorus)
(chorus)
Caught in a trap
Caught in a trap
Caught in a t
song performed by by Electric Light Orchestra
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Admit The Rat
I got a story
Bout all these rats
All the sewer rats
All these gun rats
Im talkin bout all these gold diggen rats
These hood rats
My grandmothers a rat
Shes just an old school rat
My mothers a rat
Shes just a high class rat
My sisters rats
Shes just a middle class rat
My cousins rats
They just low class rats
Im tired of rats tryin to get into my boyz pockets
Im tired of rats tryin to ride around in my cars
Im tired of rats talkin all that jibber jabber to their friends
But ond day these rats are gonna be straight
No diss to rats
Cuz there are some rats that I love too
My message to you today is admit the rat in you
To all women admitt the rat in you
Admit the rat in you
Admit the rat in you
Admit the rat in you
song performed by by Next
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Worlds Biggest Rat
World’s Biggest Rat.
A moonlit evening, behind a supermarket in Denmark, a guard
spotted a very big rat and he got his dog to kill it. The biggest
rat in the world so big it couldn’t live in the sewer, it makes
you proud to be Danish. With so much food around in streets
and in supermarket’s bin, could easily feed the poor. But there
is no poor people in Denmark! Vermin is a problem, one can’t
put them on a lorry and send them to another country.
There was a picture of the rat in the papers, a conceited guard,
we didn’t his dog though, held it aloft like trophy. It turned to
be a mother rat when it was dissected at the lab, eight baby rats
waiting to be born. More and more, long tailed rodents are
roaming streets, emptying bins and eating our babies in their
cots. One wonders if they are listening to the ancient prophecy: ”
One day vermin shall live in the sunlight side by side with man.”
poem by Oskar Hansen
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In My Childhood
IN MY CHILDHOOD
In my childhood
I trapped rats
And let them off
Now rats have set
Traps for me
Some at every step
The traps of mind
For the mind
They have made my life
A life-long prison
Without any hope
Of release
In this birth
Or the next
(karnailsingh Heranwale)
poem by Karnail Singh Heirwale
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Slave To The Wage
Run away from all your boredom
Run away from all your whoredom and wave
Your worries and cares
Goodbye
All it takes is one decision
A lot of guts, a little vision to wave
Your worries and cares
Goodbye
Its a maze for rats to try
Its a maze for rats to try
Its a race, a race for rats
A race for rats to die
Its a race, a race for rats
A race for rats to die
Sick and tired of maggies farm
Shes a bitch with broken arms to wave
Your worries and cares
Goodbye
Its a maze for rats to try
Its a maze for rats to try
Its a race, a race for rats
A race for rats to die
Its a race, a race for rats
A race for rats to die
Its a race, a race for rats
A race for rats to die
Its a race, a race for rats
A race for rats to die
Burn away
Run away, run away
Run away, run away
Run away, run away
Run away, run away
song performed by by Placebo
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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An Explanation
'I never yet exactly could determine
Just how it is that the judicial ermine
Is kept so safely from predacious vermin.'
'It is not so, my friend: though in a garret
'Tis kept in camphor, and you often air it,
The vermin will get into it and wear it.'
poem by Ambrose Bierce
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Palm-Kernel-Chain Game
Chain Point One: The big cat may be away
But may appear any day
The Long-whiskered rats
Are pretending
NOW: a bait of palm kernels
Is strategically placed
The big cat
Pretends hiding
The rats
Start telegramming…
The cat is waiting
The rats are
Picking…!
The cat is inputting…
Chain Point Two: Palm kernel is the main gastronomy
And has national distribution-tag
NOW:
The cat is flying
The rats
Are sprinting
The feline rake
Is closing in
Some rats
Are hollering
Gripped furs
Are falling…!
Chain Point Three: Oh no lessons in the inner tray
No baiting chain breaks
NOW:
The big cat is away…
And
Again long-whiskered rats
Rush out
Again to rummage thru
Stately kept pantries
For
Fresh palm kernels
Chain Point One: A big cat may be away…
poem by by unknown author
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Each Creature Within Nature
From the great whales of the ocean to the garden snail in his shell
Each creature within Nature does serve it's purpose well
And the creatures we dismiss as vermin are not vermin at all
They contribute to Nature in some way though their contribution may seem small
What can be said of Nature that has not been said before
She is the one immortal she will live forever more
Many of her creatures gone to extinction but new life forms she create
The one the artists and the writers feel inspired to celebrate
The one who lives by her own law and does things in her own way
From our every walk in Nature we learn every day
'Tis not out of a sense of joy that the male bird sings his song
But to warn neighbour males of his own kind that this patch to him belong
The creatures us humans dismiss as vermin not so in Nature's eyes
And Nature's ways are far more complex than we even realize.
poem by Francis Duggan
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Less than an hour before he'd congratulated himself on escaping all the traps of Earth, all the snares of Man. Not knowing that the greatest trap of all, the final and the fatal trap, lay on this present planet.
quote by Clifford D. Simak
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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