The Batchelors Song
Like a Dog with a bottle, fast ti'd to his tail,
Like Vermin in a trap, or a Thief in a Jail,
Or like a Tory in a Bog,
Or an Ape with a Clog:
Such is the man, who when he might go free,
Does his liberty loose,
For a Matrimony noose,
And sels himself into Captivity;
The Dog he do's howl, when his bottle do's jog,
The Vermin, the Theif, and the Tory in vain
Of the trap, of the Jail, of the Quagmire complain.
But welfare poor Pug! for he playes with his Clog;
And tho' he would be rid on't rather than his life,
Yet he lugg's it, and he hug's it, as a man does his wife.
poem by Thomas Flatman
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Related quotes
No attempt at ethical or social seduction can eradicate from my heart a deep burning hatred for the Tory Party. So far as I am concerned they are lower than vermin.
quote by Aneurin Bevan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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No amount of cajolery, and no attempts at ethical or social seduction, can eradicate from my heart a deep burning hatred for the Tory Party. So far as I am concerned they are lower than vermin.
quote by Aneurin Bevan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Rape of the Trap. A Ballad
'Twas in a land of learning,
The Muse's favourite city,
Such pranks of late
Were play'd by a rat,
As-tempt one to be witty.
All in a college study,
Where books were in great plenty;
This rat would devour
More sense in an hour,
Than I could write-in twenty.
Corporeal food, 'tis granted,
Serves vermin less refined,
Sir But this, a rat of taste,
All other rats surpass'd,
And he prey'd on the food of the mind, Sir.
His breakfast, half the morning
He constantly attended;
And when the bell rung
For evening song,
His dinner scarce was ended!
He spared not even heroics,
On which we poets pride us,
And would make no more
Of King Arthurs, by the score,
Than-all the world beside does.
In books of geography
He made the maps to flutter;
A river or a sea
Was to him a dish of tea;
And a kingdom, bread and butter.
But if some mawkish potion
Might chance to overdose him,
To check its rage,
He took a page
Of logic-to compose him-
A Trap, in haste and anger,
Was brought, you need not doubt on't,
And, such was the gin,
Were a lion once got in,
He could not, I think, get out on't.
With cheese, not books, 'twas baited;
The fact-I'll not belie it-
Since none-I tell you that-
Whether scholar or rat,
Minds books when he has other diet.
But more of Trap and bait, Sir,
Why should I sing, or either?
Since the rat, who knew the sleight,
Came in the dead of night,
And dragg'd them away together.
Both Trap and bait were vanish'd
Through a fracture in the flooring;
Which though so trim
It now may seem
Had then-a dozen or more in.
Then answer this, ye sages!
Nor deem I mean to wrong ye,
Had the rat, which thus did seize on
The Trap, less claim to reason,
Than many a skull among ye?
Dan Prior's mice, I own it,
Were vermin of condition;
But this rat, who merely learn'd
What rats alone concern'd,
Was the greater politician.
That England's topsyturvy
Is clear from these mishaps, Sir;
Since Traps, we may determine,
Will no longer take our vermin,
But vermin take our Traps, Sir.
Let sophs, by rats infested,
Then trust in cats to catch them,
Lest they grow as learn'd as we
In our studies ; where, d' ye see,
No mortal sits to watch them.
Good luck betide our captains,
Good luck betide our cats, Sir,
And grant that the one
May quell the Spanish Don,
And the other destroy our rats, Sir.
poem by William Shenstone
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Dead, Jail, Or Rock 'n Roll
When I was a kid all I wanted to be
Was the meanest dude on the meanest machine
Now I'm going to wrong way on a one-way street
I never fit this society
I don't really mind
Doing my own time
The three choices I ever came to find
Were:Dead, Jail or Rock'n'Roll
Dead, Jail or Rock'n'Roll
Dead, Jail or Rock'n'Roll
Dead, Jail or Rock'n'Roll
I ain't looking for trouble but it's looking for me
The law of the jungle is protecting me
Lose sleep man stay out of your bed
You might wind up in jail if you lose your head
In death I might find
True peace of mind
But while I'm alive
Free choice is mine
It's either:Dead, Jail or Rock'n'Roll
Dead, Jail or Rock'n'Roll
Dead, Jail or Rock'n'Roll
Dead, Jail or Rock'n'Roll
Dead, Jail or Rock'n'Roll
I don't really mind
Doing my own time
The three choices I ever came to find
Were either:Dead, Jail or Rock'n'Roll
Dead, Jail or Rock'n'Roll
Dead, Jail or Rock'n'Roll
Dead, Jail or Rock'n'Roll
song performed by by Warrant
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Dead, Jail, Or Rock 'n Roll
When I was a kid all I wanted to be
Was the meanest dude on the meanest machine
Now I'm going to wrong way on a one-way street
I never fit this society
I don't really mind
Doing my own time
The three choices I ever came to find
Were:Dead, Jail or Rock'n'Roll
Dead, Jail or Rock'n'Roll
Dead, Jail or Rock'n'Roll
Dead, Jail or Rock'n'Roll
I ain't looking for trouble but it's looking for me
The law of the jungle is protecting me
Lose sleep man stay out of your bed
You might wind up in jail if you lose your head
In death I might find
True peace of mind
But while I'm alive
Free choice is mine
It's either:Dead, Jail or Rock'n'Roll
Dead, Jail or Rock'n'Roll
Dead, Jail or Rock'n'Roll
Dead, Jail or Rock'n'Roll
Dead, Jail or Rock'n'Roll
I don't really mind
Doing my own time
The three choices I ever came to find
Were either:Dead, Jail or Rock'n'Roll
Dead, Jail or Rock'n'Roll
Dead, Jail or Rock'n'Roll
Dead, Jail or Rock'n'Roll
song performed by by Warrant
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Bottle
Life long bottle partner
Feeding bottle at childhood
To Ganga jal(Holy water of river Ganga)
Bottle at deathbed
Water bottle at schooldays
Cold drinks bottles
And liquor bottles at adulthood
And blood bottles at hospital bed.
Lifelong bottle partner
Lifelong bottle partner
Our life our soul is in a bottle
This body is bottle
And it is life partner.
poem by Gajanan Mishra
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An Explanation
'I never yet exactly could determine
Just how it is that the judicial ermine
Is kept so safely from predacious vermin.'
'It is not so, my friend: though in a garret
'Tis kept in camphor, and you often air it,
The vermin will get into it and wear it.'
poem by Ambrose Bierce
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To Get That Money
to get that money
make that money
steal that money
go to jail.
to get that jewelry
make that money
steal that jewelry
go to jail
banker man,
understand
steal that money
go to jail.
wallstreet man
understand,
steal that money
go to jail.
mr. thief
it's my belief
steal that money
go to jail.
mr. crime
I ain't lyin'
steal that money
go to jail.
poem by Richard Jarboe
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Caught In A Trap
Sometimes you get caught in a trap and you dont know it
Sometimes its better to get out while you know it
Some people never learn they keep on falling
You can never get out if you keep on stalling
Then you get,
(chorus:) caught in a trap caught in dead end
Caught in a trap with nowhere to run
Then you get, caught in a trap caught in dead end
Nowhere to turn but it cant go on
Caught in a trap
Sometimes you got to know where to run for cover
Sometimes your better out till the heat is over
Ah you get (chorus)
Caught in a trap
Dont know how it happened but then its too late
Then you gotta move on the times, you cant wait
Cus you got (chorus)
(chorus)
(chorus)
Caught in a trap
Caught in a trap
Caught in a t
song performed by by Electric Light Orchestra
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Holloway Jail
They took my baby, to holloway jail,
They took my baby, down holloway jail,
She was a lady, when she went in,
Now shes in jail, and its giving me hell.
She was succeeding in the city,
She was just beginning to excel,
Then a spiv named frankie simes
Led her to a life of crime,
And led her on the downward trail.
Frankie came home late from work one evening,
The c.l.d. were hot on his trail,
Frankie promised everything,
And then he went and turned her in,
She went and took the rap for him,
Now shes impaled in holloway jail.
They took my baby, down holloway jail,
They took my baby, to holloway jail,
There aint no pity, there aint no bail,
And she assures me that its living hell.
She was young and ever so pretty,
Now she looks so old and pale,
She never sees the day,
She wastes her life away,
Sitting in that prison cell.
They took my baby to holloway jail,
They took my baby, down holloway jail,
She was a lady when she went in,
Now shes in jail, and its giving me hell.
Shes impaled, in holloway jail.
song performed by by Kinks
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Once A Thief
So youve decided to set me free
Ive paid my debt to society
Fresh out of jail trying to make a new start
On the street with a bitter heart
But my past keeps on haunting me
There aint no chance for a man with my history
Once a thief
Always a suspect
Once a liar
Never be believed
Will they ever forget that
I was once a thief?
I was out in the cold
I was soaked to the skin
I needed a home
And your heart took me in
Then I heard all the lies
And I lost my belief
You threw away my hope
And you called me a thief
So youve decided to set me free
Im out of jail but youve still got the key
There was a time when I thought you respected me
But somehow you always suspected me
Once a thief
Always a suspect
Once a liar
Never be believed
Will they ever forget that
I was once a thief?
Instead of offering me charity,
You shouldve tried to put some faith in me
Instead of making me a better man,
You kept reminding me of what I am
Instead of offering me charity,
You shouldve tried to put some faith in me
How many years must a criminal pay?
Until hes old and his hair turns to gray
You smile at me
But I know underneath
Youre thinking
Once a thief always a suspect.
Once a thief
Always a suspect
Once a liar
Never be believed
Will they ever forget that
I was once a thief?
song performed by by Kinks
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Bottle Of Red Wine
(by bonnie bramlett and eric clapton)
Get up; get your man a bottle of red wine.
Get up; get your man a bottle of red wine.
I cant get up out of bed
With this crazy feeling in my head.
Get up; get your man a bottle of red wine.
Get up; get your man a bottle of red wine.
Get up; get your man a bottle of red wine.
You hear what I say?
Gonna love you anyway.
Get up; get your man a bottle of red wine.
I went to an all-night get together
And everyone I knew was there.
Had the love that would last forever.
Everywhere I looked, I saw you standing there.
Get up; get your man a bottle of red wine.
Get up; get your man a bottle of red wine.
I cant get up out of bed
With this crazy feeling in my head.
I said get up right now, oh oh.
I said get up right now.
Feel so bad this morning; got a terrible headache in my head.
Do me a favor, baby, do me a favor please.
Please get up; get your man a bottle of red wine.
Get up, get up; get your man a big big bottle of red wine.
song performed by by Eric Clapton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The bottle tree
A bottle tree bloometh in Winkyway land -
Heigh-ho for a bottle, I say!
A snug little berth in that ship I demand
That rocketh the Bottle-Tree babies away
Where the Bottle Tree bloometh by night and by day
And reacheth its fruit to each wee, dimpled hand;
You take of that fruit as much as you list,
For colic's a nuisance that doesn't exist!
So cuddle me and cuddle me fast,
And cuddle me snug in my cradle away,
For I hunger and thirst for that precious repast -
Heigh-ho for a bottle, I say!
The Bottle Tree bloometh by night and by day!
Heigh-ho for Winkyway land!
And Bottle-Tree fruit (as I've heard people say)
Makes bellies of Bottle-Tree babies expand -
And that is a trick I would fain understand!
Heigh-ho for a bottle to-day!
And heigh-ho for a bottle to-night -
A bottle of milk that is creamy and white!
So cuddle me close, and cuddle me fast,
And cuddle me snug in my cradle away,
For I hunger and thirst for that precious repast -
Heigh-ho for a bottle, I say!
poem by Eugene Field
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The Genie
(don henley/stan lynch/stuart brawley)
Is this what you wanted?
Did you even think twice?
Didnt they tell you that anything that feels this good
Comes with a price
It gave you such a rush
Now you think youve had enough
Its not that easy to walk away
This is the hard stuff
You cant get the genie back in the bottle
You cant get the genie back in the bottle
You cant get the genie back in the bottle
You cant get the genie back in the bottle
And everything matters, everything matters
Every little thing you do
That smoldering tingle under your skin
That sweet, delicious, but not-so-original sin
And when the world becomes too little or too much
The shadow mind contrives
The triumph and the tragedy that we invite into our lives
And adam glanced back at the tree
As he was leaving
Said, baby, thats the price we pay
Knowing is grieving
You cant get the genie back in the bottle
You cant get the genie back in the bottle
You cant get the genie back in the bottle
You cant get the genie back in the bottle
And everything matters, everything matters
Everything you say, everything you do
And the past comes back to smack you around
For all the things you thought you got for free
For the arrogance to think that you could somehow
Defy the laws of gravity
These are lessons in humility
Penitence for past offenses
Consequences, consequences
You cant get the genie back in the bottle
You cant get the genie back in the bottle
You cant get the genie back in the bottle
You cant get the genie back in the bottle
song performed by by Don Henley
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Devil In The Bottle
(gary rossington - dale krantz rossington - johnny vanzant)
Well, theres a devil in the bottle, staring straight at me
Daring me to reach out, but I know hes testing me
If I take just one sip, I become that devils son
Act a fool, sell my soul before God and everyone
Oh lord, I know, I only hurt the ones I love
Im walkin down this dead end road, all alone and by myself
Wish I could blame the whiskey, but I can only blame myself
Running out of chances, and lord thats such a crime
I got to find the answer before I lose my mind
Oh lord its a cryin shame, oh lord Ive caused so much pain
I only hurt the ones I love
Theres a devil in a bottle that just wont let me be
So many times Ive been hurtin my soul and family
But I got free on the day I fought the
Devil in the bottle
The next time that ol devil tries to get the best of me
Ill smash that bottle against the wall and know Im finally free
Theres a devil in a bottle that just wont let me be
Theres so many times I let him hurt me
I got free the day I fought the
Devil in the bottle
Devil in the bottle
Devil in the bottle
song performed by by Lynyrd Skynyrd
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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80 Proof Bottle Of Tear Stopper
(Darryl Staedtler)
You ain't never fell as far as when you fall in love
Except the fall you take when you've been loved and given up
When you have your heart and soul rubbed into the dirt
An 80-proof bottle of tear-stopper will take away the hurt
Give me an 80-proof bottle of tear-stopper
And I'll start feeling I forgot her
Get a little loose and lose her memory
And I won't think I'm close to dying
Because it dries up all my crying
An 80-proof bottle of tear-stopper always sets me free
It ain't easy losing love although it's turned out bad
All at once you're turning off old feelings you once had
But I found a helping hand right here in my hand
And 80-proof bottle of tear-stopper will help me take 'em out
Give me an 80-proof bottle of tear-stopper
And I'll start feeling I forgot her
Get a little loose and lose her memory
And I won't think I'm close to dying
Because it dries up all my crying
An 80-proof bottle of tear-stopper always sets me free
song performed by by George Strait
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Running Free
Just sixteen a pick up truck
Out of money out of luck
Ive got no place to call my own
Hit the gas and here I go
Im running free yeah, Im running free
Im running free yeah, Im running free
Spend the night in an l.a. jail
Listen to the sirens wail
But they aint got a thing on me
Im running wild Im running free
Im running free yeah, Im running free
Im running free yeah, Im running free
Pulled her at the bottle top
Whiskey dancing disco hop
And all the boys are after me
And thats the way its gonna be
Im running free yeah, Im running free
Im running free yeah, Im running free
song performed by by Iron Maiden
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Best Of All Possible Worlds
I was runnin' through the summer rain tryin' to catch the evenin' train
And kill that old familiar pain weevin' through my tangled brain
When I tipped my bottle back I smacked into a cop I didn't see
That policeman said Mr Cool if you're ain't drunk then you're a fool
I said if that's against the law tell me why I never saw
A man locked in that jail of yours who wadn't just as lowdown poor as me
Well that was when someone turned out the lights
And I wound up in jail to spend the night
And dream of all the wine and lonely girls in this best of all possible worlds
Well I woke up next morning feelin' like my head was gone
And like my thick old tongue was lickin' somethin' sick and wrong
And I told that man I'd sell my soul if somethin' wet and cold is that old cell
That kindly jailer grinned at me all eaten up with sympathy
Then bought himself another beer and came and whispered in my ear
That booze was just a dime a bottle boy you couldn't even buy the smell
I said I knew there was somethin' I liked about this town
But it takes more than that to bring me down down down
Cause there's still a lot of wine and lonely girls in this best of all possible worlds
Well they finally came and told me they was a gonna set me free
And I'd be leavin' town if I knew what was good for me
I said it's nice to learn that everybody's so concerned about my health
I said I won't be leavin' no more quicker than I can
Cause I've enjoyed about this much of this as I can stand
And I don't need this town of yours more than I've never needed nothing else
Cause there's still a lotta drinks that I ain't drunk
Lots of pretty thoughts that I ain't thought oh yeah
Lord there's still so many lonely girls in this best of all possible worlds
song performed by by Kris Kristofferson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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No man will be a sailor who has contrivance enough to get himself into a jail; for being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned... a man in a jail has more room, better food, and commonly better company.
quote by Samuel Johnson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Eighty Proof Bottle Of Tear Stopper
You aint never fell as far as when you fall in love
Except the fall you take when youve been loved and given up
When you have your heart and soul rubbed into the dirt
An 80-proof bottle of tear-stopper will take away the hurt
Give me an 80-proof bottle of tear-stopper
And Ill start feeling I forgot her
Get a little loose and lose her memory
And I wont think Im close to dying
Because it dries up all my crying
An 80-proof bottle of tear-stopper always sets me free
It aint easy losing love although its turned out bad
All at once youre turning off old feelings you once had
But I found a helping hand right here in my hand
An 80-proof bottle of tear-stopper will help me take command
Give me an 80-proof bottle of tear-stopper
And Ill start feeling I forgot her
Get a little loose and lose her memory
And I wont think Im close to dying
Because it dries up all my crying
An 80-proof bottle of tear-stopper always sets me free
song performed by by George Strait
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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