There Once Was A Man...

There once was a man, they called brave
Who lived in a hole, called a grave...
Well, being the host
To many a ghost,
He arranged a big bash, called a rave


There once was a man, called a knave
Who lived in a hole, called a cave...
Not being too keen
About keeping it clean...
Well, he took on a wife, called a slave


There once was a man with a stave
Who lived in a holy enclave...
Maintaining a grin
While absolving the sin,
He assessed wicked tales and forgave


There once was a monk with a wave
Who wanted a head with a shave...
The barber was such
That she cut back too much
Thereby leaving his globus concave


There once was a man in the nave,
Although pious he could not behave...
They paid him no mind,
'Caus his name was maligned,
Simply being a sinner to save


There once was a man quite depraved
A voluptuous life was thus craved...
Well, continuous sin
Ended doing him in -
On his tombstone they carved ‘Misbehaved'

poem by Terry O'LearyReport problemRelated quotes
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Thieves Like Us

Ive watched your face for a long time
Its always the same
Ive studied the cracks and the wrinkles
You were always so vain
Well, now you live your life like a shadow
In the pouring rain
Oh, its called love
Yes, its called love
Oh, its called love
And it belongs to us
Oh, it dies so quickly
It grows so slowly
But when it dies, it dies for good
Its called love
And it belongs to everyone but us
Ive lived my life in the valleys
Ive lived my life on the hills
Ive lived my life on alcohol
Ive lived my life on pills
But its called love
And it belongs to us
Its called love
And its the only thing thats worth living for
Its called love
And it belongs to us
Its called love
Yes its called love
Oh, love is found in the east and west
But when love is at home, its the best
Love is the cure for every evil
Love is the air that supports the eagle
Its called love
And its so un-cool
Its called love
And somehow its become unmentionable
Its called love
And it belongs to every one of us
Its called love
And it cuts your life like a broken knife

song performed by by New OrderReport problemRelated quotes
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Fundamental of Liar Chapter LXXX: Story

Story about future is called imagination
Story about past is called memories
Story about present is called reality
Story that becomes true is called prophecy
Story that becomes unfulfilled is called regret
Story that becomes no end is called boasting
Small story is called experience
Epic story is called history
Forgotten story is called lesson
Story that becomes obsession is called ambition
Story that becomes untold is called secret
Story that becomes go its own way is called life

poem by Maria SudibyoReport problemRelated quotes
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Just a load of silly limericks about people I know

I know young lady called Dee
Who lived in a bubblegum tree
She savoured the view
Whilst big bubbles she blew
And she only came down for her tea.

I know I young lady called Carolyn
Who said she was gonna go travelling
She afforded the lot
By a pay out she got
When her ex got impaled by a javelin.

There once was a poet called Ben
Who couldn't let go of his pen
He had a 'to do'
With some strong super glue
And it's been stuck there ever since then.

There once was a young Mr bright
Who wanted his farts to ignite
When he lighted the match
His fart just wouldn't catch
Coz the pants he had on were too tight!

I know a young lady called Laurie
Who burped after eating a curry
By god it was loud
And for this she was proud
Then she giggled and said she was sorry!

There once was a young man called Will
Who found it quite hard to sit still
He did not sit down once
No not even for lunch
It eventually made him quite ill

I know a lady called Karen
Who hired a group of hit men
She payed a few bob
For this one special job
And her ex was not spotted again

I know a girl called Nicola
Who craved for a day at a spar
She wanted shellac
And a rub of her back
But thought waxing was going too far

poem by Stevie TaiteReport problemRelated quotes
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Road to Success

The road to success is not straight,
There is a curve called FAILURE,
A loop called CONFUSION,
Speed bumps called FRIENDS,
Red light called ENEMIES and
caution lights called FAMILY.

But if you have a spare called
DETERMINATION,
An engine called PERSEVERANCE,
Insurance called FAITH and
A driver called JESUS (GOD, ALLAH, ISHVAR)
You will make it to a place called
SUCCESS

poem by Pratiksha JainReport problemRelated quotes
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Star 69

You dont have to take the bar exam to see
What you did is ignoramus 103
Where have I got to hang my hat
You dont have line to me
All this just to be your friend
I was there to tell you
Extortion and arson, petty larceny
I know you called. I know you called. I know you called.
I know you called. I know you called. I know you hung up my line.
Star 69.
I know all about the warehouse fire.
I know squirrelies didnt chew the wire.
Three people have my number, the other two were with me.
I dont stand tall, but Im not your patsy.
This time you have gone too far with me.
I know you called. I know you called. I know you called.
I know you called. I know you called. I know you hung up my line.
Star 69.
Whyd you put your quarter down on me?
This reads like some dark inside edition, hard copy.
I cant be your character witness, I cant be your alibi.
Dont arrange the fbi, here this spy versus spy.
You my friend are guilty as can be.
I know you called. I know you called. I know you called.
I know you called. I know you called. I cant be your alibi.
Star 69.

song performed by by REMReport problemRelated quotes
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What used to be called liberal is now called radical, what used to be called radical is now called insane, what used to be called reactionary is now called moderate, and what used to be called insane is now called solid conservative thinking.

quote by Tony KushnerReport problemRelated quotes
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The Road To Success isn’t As The Crow Flies

The road to success is not as the crow flies
There are derailments and breakdowns
Speed breakers are called uncertainty
Humps are called hurdles of life
Neon signs are called friends to guide you
And consciousness is called Family make you aware of
But if you have a spare wheel called willpower,
A strong engine called firmness,
Car insurance called confidence, and
A car driving skill is called Faith,
I m sure you will drive your car successfully
Towards the road of success

poem by Dr Shamim aliReport problemRelated quotes
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We have common enemies today. It's called childhood poverty. It's called cancer. It's called AIDS. It's called Parkinson's. It's called Muscular Dystrophy.

quote by Jerry DoyleReport problemRelated quotes
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Identity Crisis!

When born, I was called “baby”
And later they called me “Abby”
Within 5 years they called me “student”
And for 7 years, like that I spent
Then they called me “teen”
I loved it and felt like a queen
Then I was called “woman”
And those times, were the best
Then some one tied a knot and called me “wife”
I hated those times, it was horrible and gross
In years I became “mother”
It was beautiful but tough
Then being called “grandma”
My times got better and better
Then at last I was called “old”
And my body was frail and cold
All this time I wondered,
Where my identity has gone
Some where in the middle, I had lost it
Through the ages, I had a crisis
An identity crisis to say!


DECEMBER 23,2008

poem by Sania HarrisReport problemRelated quotes
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My road to success

Never be discouraged by other people's negativities towards your success. /
Stick to what you love the most some day it will turn out well. /
Some things are hard to get but are worth working hard for. /
So, it is better to support than to look down on other people's dreams. /
The road to success it is not straight there is a curve called failure. /
A loop called friends & flats called jobs, but if you have a spare called determination. /
An engine called perseverance, insurance called faith & a driver called 'jesus' /
You will make it to a place called 'Success' /

Author: Koena France Mokoena

poem by kfm ProductionsReport problemRelated quotes
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I Search

I search for that something called an Identity
I search for the eternally dynamic being called 'me'

I search for that ever-elusive ray of Hope
That'll steady my walk on life's tightrope

I search for that stroke of Brilliance
That'll make me stand out among millions

I search for that much-needed Common Sense
That'll help me to decipher utter nonsense

I search for that slippery thing called Fame
That'll erase all my past memories of shame

I search for that quality called Tenacity
That'll help me cope with life's complexity

I search for that something called a Carefree Life
That'll remove me from worries and Danger's knife

I search for something called an Identity
And I still search for that being called 'me'

poem by Rony PatraReport problemRelated quotes
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A beautiful thing called YOU

How to write about a beautiful piece of God’s writing
I mean what is there to edit?
Did God leave room for improvement
Oh I see, he did leave some for comment
And praise and Glory to value

A Beautiful thing called you
Unmatched in splendor

A beautiful thing named you
That only God` s description could equal the importance

A beautiful thing called you
That only the angelic can understand

A beautiful thing called you
Whose creation was inspired by the divine

A beautiful thing called you
That the universe handles with care

A beautiful thing called you
Whose shape was sculpted by His own word

A beautiful thing called you

How do I begin to describe it
Is it by letter
Oh I see holding it is better
How do I own it
To praise the glory and the value

A beautiful thing called you
Oh I see, God knows better
The value the Glory and the praise

No, He revealed it to me
But still I cant
Bear the praise the value and the glory
That flows from those eyes
The ear the nose and the belly

I looked through the key hole to see the sky
I saw heaven`s 1 2 3 stars shy
HE opened the door of your heart
Behold the millions that were hidden
Now I know
How to Praise the glory and the value of a beautiful thing called you.

poem by Didier Sixte KahunguReport problemRelated quotes
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He Called Father

He remembered that fear,
Shaking in bed listening.
He called son.
Hearing the druken man,
He called father.
The womans cries, the punches,
Slaps, blackend eyes,
On she called mother.
Burying his head in the pillow
To shut out the noise.
He remembers the comfort
The gentle hand and soft voice
Of she called sister.
But the scars lie deep
A nightmare that he runs from
In the black despair of night.
From He Called Father

poem by Paul BrookesReport problemRelated quotes
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John And Elvis Are Dead

(George Michael)
Close friend of mine as a child fell into a slumber
No sign of life since '75
Then one day he just, what do you know
I guess God just called his number
He called me up he called me up and said
"I've been awake about a week
I'm thinking about asking the doctor
If he could put me back to sleep"
Then he laughed and said
"Hey all the girls they look the same"
Don't they know just what their mothers
Paid in blood, and tears to change
But the words that made me cry
The thing he softly said
It stayed with me, it keeps messing with my head
He said, "If Jesus Christ is alive and well
Then how come John

song performed by by George MichaelReport problemRelated quotes
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Liverpool Days

Wavertree road used to have a café there called
“Tasty Toaster, ” business was good till the formidable
M.T. came to power and low paid worker, my main
costumers, got the sack, and told to go on bikes they
couldn’t afford to buy in the first place.

Above the shop lived a lady teacher, she drank, at ten
in the evening, as I closed and cleaned up, I could hear
her sing, when filling her bathtub with water.
One night, it was raining; she must have had a stroke
or something, the water kept running, rotten floor she
and the bathtub ended up in my café.

Under the door the water ran and down the street, since
it was raining few has noticed. Called the police when
I got there, the landlord came, insisted that I had to pay.
I threaten to sue him; he called me a Polish shit and
blamed me for the holocaust I called him a Jewish shit
and blamed him for Palestine. I finally collected my
insurance money and retired from the catering business

poem by Jan Oskar HansenReport problemRelated quotes
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Amos Moses

Amos Moses was a Cajun.
And lived by himself in the swamp
Hunting alligator for a living.
Knock 'em on the head with a stump
The Louisiana law's gonna get you, Amos
It ain't legal hunting alligator down in the swamp, boy
Now everybody blamed his old man
for raising him mean as a snake
When Amos Moses was a boy,
his Daddy would use him as alligator bait
Tie a rope around his waist,
throw him in the swamp
Alligator bait on the Louisiana bayou
Just about 45 minutes
southeast of Tipidow, Louisiana
There lived a man called Duck Bill Sam
and his pretty wife Hannah
They raised up a son that could
eat up his weight in groceries
Named him after a man of the cloth.
They called him Amos Moses
Now folks in South Louisiana
said Amos was a helluva man
He could trap the biggest, meanest alligator.
He only had to use one hand
That's all he got left
'cause the alligator bit him. Ha ha!
Left arm gone clean up to the elbow
Just about 45 minutes
southeast of Tipidow, Louisiana
There lived a man called Duck Bill Sam
and his pretty wife Hannah
They raised up a son that could
eat up his weight in groceries
Named him after a man of the cloth.
They called him Amos Moses
Here comes Amos
And you should have seen his pretty wife, Hannah
Well, the Sheriff got wind that
Amos was in the swamp hunting alligator skin
So he hid in the swamp, I'm gonna get you boy.
He never did come out again.
Well, I wonder where the Louisiana Sheriff went to?
Sure can get lost in the Louisiana bayou (3X)

song performed by by PrimusReport problemRelated quotes
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Women

Women...
Some budy
Called flower...

Some budy
Called moon...
Some budy

Called Brandy...
Somebudy
Called hourse...

Some budy
Called donkey...
Some budy

Called basterd...
Some calling
Some of word's

Women with women's...
This words are
Not full fill

The women...
World wide
Women is beauty...

Women is sexy...
Thats thats...
But...

Women is what...?
Not only women
Women is your mother...

Women is your sister...
Women is your wife...
Women is doughter...

Women is your gran mother...
Women is your friend...
Not only above...

Women is a human...
Human is women...
Understand too

All women's...
With your heart...
At your humunity...

poem by Otteri SelvakumarReport problemRelated quotes
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The problem that faces our country today, the last 30 years we have lived off the future, and the bill is coming due. So there cannot be anything that is not put on the table. There will not be one American that will not be called to sacrifice. Those that are more well-to-do will be called to sacrifice to a greater extent.

quote by Tom CoburnReport problemRelated quotes
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A Girl Called Johnny

I remember johnny - hey!
Johnny come lately
I remember her shoes like a ballerina
A girl called johnny who
Changed her name when she
Discovered her choice was to
Change or to be changed
I remember a girl called johnny
Black as hell and white as a ghost
Dont talk about life or death
She said Ive had enough of both
A girl called johnny who was not scared
Theyd have torn her to pieces but
Who would dare?
I remember a girl called johnny
The train came to town, boy she got on it
With no looking back, with not a word
If she said goodbye, well I never heard
But the noise goes on
The noise, the jazz
And the truth is in somebody elses hands
And the house that a girl called johnny built
Is now just ashes and sand

song performed by by WaterboysReport problemRelated quotes
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Tucked Away

Well, I saw you once
Then I blew it for the next ten thousand days
I should have flapped away
I needed to come back and show you
I needed to go back
I know its wrong
I laughed to get along
[chorus]
Mama just called
Says shes tucked away
Mama just called
Says shes tucked away another day
Mama just called
Says shes tucked away
Mama just called
Says shes extra sad today
Well, I spent the whole day yesterday
On clichs about love
Making me remember when your pushes became shoves
I wanted to come back and show you
Needed to go back
I know its wrong
I laughed to get along
[chorus]
So whyd you go and play my trust
Todays the same as yesterday, and Im okay
? ? i take the time this weatherman did time again to get along? ?
Since youve been gone
Ill get along anyway at all
Mama just called
Says shes tucked away
Mama just called
Says shes tucked away another day
Mama just called
Says shes tucked away
Mama just called
Says shes tucked away another day
(tucked away)
(tucked away)
(tucked away)
(tucked away)

song performed by by Goo Goo DollsReport problemRelated quotes
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