She'd Lie

She'd lie
Without cause or reason
Don't ask me why
Every chance she got she'd lie
It was pitiful really
A small exaggeration first
Only to be magnified
And wound into an elegant fraud
To be like Them
I wouldn't get mad
I was simply bewildered
They say to tell the truth is easier
But too ordinary for her I suppose
Not grand enough and so
The People wore clothes by Ralph Lauren
And all of their children went to Penn
And she'd rubbed elbows
With Who, What, Where, and When
Some names were dropped to emphasis this point
So that you'd know she was the square peg
In the square hole
Except she'd lie
Did it really matter what car they drived?
Or that they lived in Century Heights?
The longer I'd listen the sadder I became
For I could see she'd told so many lies
In her mind she'd become who she wanted to be
Forget that these were made up tales she told
And that she'd really grown up in
A house with rat holes
And if that were not sad enough
She did not know I was looking down on her
Instead of up


Written by Sara Fielder © 2011

NOTE: This poem was written about my mother.

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Know it All

How does it feel to know it all?
I'm curious, do tell
To be so arrogant enough
The rest can go to hell
It must be nice up on your throne
You intellectual snob
To think the worlds so black and white
And we are but it's dogs.

It must be nice to know it all
Forgive, but I must ask
Ever lose an argument?
No, no. There's not a chance
When others bow and kiss your feet
The hem that trims your robe
Does your huge ego jump for joy
On top but all alone?

It must be nice to know it all
The rest of us so small
We'll just pull weeds
And mind the sheep
And drink the bitter gall
We'll just sit back as best we can
Obligingly and nod
Yes yes, your'e right, of course you are
Let's not forget you're God


Written by Sara Fielder © 2011

NOTE: This poem was written about my husband after a disagreement.

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Square Peg, Round Hole

He's a square peg in a round hole
Misfit in a slick world
Don't play the game
Don't do what he's told
He's a square peg in a round hole
Square peg don't care
The bright lights he's not there
Catch the shadows see him slip away
Square peg that's what they say
Square peg, Suare peg
Square peg, you have got to be strong
Square peg, he's got his own song
Square peg, I'll see you around
Square peg, face down
Square peg, round hole

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High School Sweetheart

I surprised myself by googling his name
What a shame I thought,
what a shame
Life was bliss and why would I?
What did I have to gain?
I had no reason at all to be interested
in where he was
or how his life had turned out
But wonder got the better me
So there I was and suddenly
There he was.
The letters of his name sitting side by side
as if he had been there all along
And they laughed at me
This is no small miracle
It's heaven sent
A foolish lie I told myself
before I went to bed
So I lay there
starting to remember the outline of his face
He was just a boy back then
A kid, that long ago made my heart skip beats
in the moonlight as his lips pressed mine
And he would lay his arm around my shoulder
And I would will the clock to stop time
before we would have to say goodnight
I never really knew him
like I wanted to
But, he was mine
Even when he left we were tied together
like immortals
I just knew I'd never feel that way again
But young love is always just a foggy dream
A lovely pleasant piece of fiction
And now, with one mouse click
he's gone again

Written by Sara Fielder © 2011

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Buddy Bear

'Buddy Bears Feelings'
A soft cloth book
Is Bonnie's best plaything
By hook or by crook
If handed a rattle
Or teething ring toy
There's only dull interest
And simply no joy
But Buddy Bear brings
Everyday and each night
A look of excitement
And squeals of delight
The pages inside
On the bottom and top
When put in the mouth
Go snap crackle pop
On page three there's a mirror
We can see someone in
Who is that reflection?
It smiles back again!
Inside Buddy's car
There's a horn that goes toot
When mom presses it
We think it's a hoot
Oh, learning of things
In this world is such fun
Forget about sleep!
Play won't be outdone


Written by Sara Fielder © 2001


NOTE: This poem was written for my daughter Bonnie.

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Words

Words on this paper
Words in my head
Words while I'm texting
Computing
Unsaid
Words between people
Words on the phone
Words upon words
Even when I'm alone
Words from the Bible
I question
Don't mesh
Words from pornography
Making them flesh
Words with flat letters
Written in black
Good words and bad words
You cannot take back
Words that are shallow
Words that are deep
When they're too many
They put me to sleep
Words that I'm writing
And rhyming you read
Whatever I'm saying
There's prolly no need
Words from the alphabet
Words that can't be
When you are blind
And it's Braile that you see
Words that are worthless
And said on the fly
My words or your words
Are most likely lies
Words in a sentence
Wise words or fair
The only words earnest
Are those said in prayer


Written by Sara Fielder © 2011

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The Voice

Hey you
talking to me with your forked tongue
Go ahead
Keep telling me your lies
I can spot deception a mile away
You don't fool me
Just when I think you're gone for good
you show up again
putting me into a state of confusion and chaos
by saying what you think I want to hear
A constant tease that makes me
feel like a tangled mass of nerves
First you say you love me,
I turn around, and then you hate me
never seeming to make up your mind
Why do you do this to me?
Two faced bastard
I can't take this anymore
I won't listen
Get out of my head or you're dead


Written by Sara Fielder © 2012

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The List

Today, I told myself I'd returned to normal
Whatever that means
I concluded this by the fact
that I had actually completed
everything on my 'list'
without daydreaming
Those little checkmarks
a measurement of how far I've come
to forget you
After dinner,
I'll wash the dishes,
watch television,
read in bed,
and drift in dreams
Back to square one

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Rap Poem

You think you're cool because your mouth
is like a garbage can?
I think you're stupid and you
prolly need a CAT scan
You go to school,
but you haven't learned the one thing
To be a man you have gotta
keep your mouth clean
What goes inside,
must come back out
and if you're listenin' to that trash
you're lost there's no doubt
So pay attention,
and have I mentioned?
When you have kids that are your own
they will not listen!
Are you a sheep?
Are you asleep?
What makes you think the emphasis
should be on bleep bleep?
What makes a man?
It's not your clothes
It's not the fact you wear gold chains
and have ten white ho's
You want 'Real talk'?
I'll give you some
You are a phony and at night
you suck your own thumb
There is a verse
that you should learn
It comes from Matthew Twelve
that you should really rehearse
It goes like this
Be justified!
by all your words and then someday
you'll finally take pride!

Written by Sara Fielder © 2012

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Shallow Girl

I saw you in the marketplace
You cast a downward eye
Pretending to buy produce
And not notice I'd walked by
I wanted to say something
As you studied Bartlett pears
Cause in my mind I knew you knew
That I was shopping there
How difficult would it have been
To smile and say hello?
Not lingering to say too much
So grass would therefore grow
Under our feet except that we
The niceties had met
Required in society
A simple, easy debt
But all along you acted like
Most people always do
Like you had never seen me
Superficial and untrue


Written by Sara Fielder © 2012

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Call A Spade A Spade

at that very young age
you were taught to call a spade a spade
and a square a square. There are no exceptions to the rule.
There are no compromises with the truth.

Then you grow to be a very nice, self-made man.
You practice what was taught to you.
And you meet pain and disappointments.
And you suspect that the teachers are wrong.

Time teaches you.
Squares sometimes become rectangles on an extension of a principle
to accommodate a compromise of a certain shape.
A spade need not be a spade depending on who gets axed.
A square peg you sometimes put in a round hole and it does not matter
really what happens next. You are simply told to do so as ordered.
And what is important is that they like it.
You survive the hazards of this life.

You become successful on the science of compromise,
the art of plea bargaining, the techniques of human relations.
You get some plaques for a lessened self-restraint.
You get the awards and recognitions for being their man of the year.

And one day you look at yourself in the mirror.
You see a different face and you do not like it anymore.

You quit and hide. You go away. You want to be left alone.
You want to reinvent yourself and listen to the voice.

Carefully, you cure the sickness of success.
All you need is a self who accepts yourself. All you need is the touch
of your hand. The applause has become pain itself.
And there you are, finding the truth again.The real meaning.

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This Is My Poem

This is my poem of ______. (date)
This is my poem, written by myself.
This is my first poem never written.
This is my last poem now to be written.
This is the poem I would have written
if I had lived yesterday what I lived today.

This is my poem changing white light
into gold-leaf
and blue into violet.

This is my poem like a heaven twisting
and turning inside of me
all night long.

This is my poem of opening a window
to show what was always inside.

This is my poem encompassing everything
hope can bestow or chance agree with.

This is my poem of open-ended freedom.

This is my poem breathing life into motion.

This is my poem written as I wrote it
a living being.

And this is my poem ending;
but only for today..

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Walking on Land

Who she was exists no more
Moved ahead and closed the door
But neer shall she forget those days
They haunt and linger, hardly stray

She was a lassie who from birth
Cherished the sea with joy and mirth
Treasuring it's beauty above all else
All of it's water, sand and shells

Out of the channel she'd sail her rig
Her heartbeat dancing a little jig
The ocean her lover and she it's bride
She'd plow it's depths so blue and wide

At home on her ship she'd search for air
Driving it outward as hard as she dared
Her happiness growing with every mile
Never a sorrow, only a smile

But all good things will meet their end
Changes come and you must bend
For nothing is ever meant to last
You roll and play the die that's cast

So when you find a chapter ends
And melancholy your best friend
Don't think upon it as Goodbye
Till memories fade or your have died

Written By Sara Fielder © 1998

NOTE: This poem was written when I moved from Hawaii to the mainland USA after having been accustomed to living on a sailboat for 15 years.

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Valentines Day

Once a year a day comes
On the calendar of time
That marks just one of many
I would hope to make you mine
For most it conjures visions
That begin only in part
Of Cupid slinging arrows
Through his intended victims heart
It's candy, cards, and flowers
That are touched by morning dew
And other sweet surprises
Full of love they might renew
It's pink champagne and candlelight
And gazing at the moon
A kiss with all the passion
That would cause a girl to swoon
It's all these things and many more
And what they're meant to be
But none nearly important as
The words that you love me
And in return I promise you
Through good times and in strife
I'll give you all my heart can give
My love, my soul, my life


Written by Sara Fielder © 1998

NOTE: This poem was written for my husband many years ago.

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My Prison

I don't know half as much as you
I won't pretend to
I just know what I know
Shut up, God told me so
Go on and have that argument with
Yourself
I'll wander room from room under impressed
While you are hell bent
On educating me with your divinity
You don't notice I'm not listening
Do you like the sound of your own voice that much?
Was this a CONVERSATION of such?
Strange to me when once upon a time
I was enthralled
But
Then my admiration grew
Creating a monster on his mountaintop
Without a clue
Making me to run
In opposite direction
The very thing that once fueled my desire
Has now become my prison


Written by Sara Fielder © 2012

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Paradox of Truth

The most subtle lies art the greatest truth
Like the fairy tales of our imaginative youth
Each truth a paradox, a lie does tell
A truth somewhere in mythical spell
When one lies, truth still speaks
For in everything doth truth seek
To express itself to hearts to behold
The truth of life in every lie told
Told in such eloquent song
There is truth in something especially wrong
Rhetoric, myths, ignorance and lies
Truth in all, every truth belies.
If thou don't believe it is certainly true
For to believe is true to me and you
And in this poem if you believe no truth
Let this poem be truth's own proof….

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Grandad and Hannah

Oh how he loves Hannah
It surely does show
From the top of her head
To her tee-niney toes.
She'll sit on his lap
And won't she be glad
When he asks who she loves
She can say 'You Grandad! '
Then Hannah leans over and gives Burb a kiss
But makes sure it's something that Grandad won't miss
It's part of the game
To taunt and to tease him
But deep in her heart
She knows it to please him
Then Grandad looks wounded
'Don't waste kisses! ' he'll shout
'Save 'em all up for me! ', then he puffs up and pouts
But she giggles and gives him a sweet sideways glance
Revealing the love that makes his heart dance
And we round the table can just watch with wonder
'Cause their love is stronger than lightning or thunder


Written by Sara Fielder © 1996

NOTE: This poem was written about my father in law and his niece Hannah when she was 2 years old.

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Junk

I know I cant compare
To Maya Angelou or Baudelaire
You will not find me
On the shelf
With them or those that make you
Feel
You want to rent your clothes
With such despair and weep
With grief you cannot bear
I am replete
With simple diction tight and neat
My poems are junk
Someday be buried with me
Meek
Like Hallmark cards
Not fit for lounge rats in a bar


Written by Sara Fielder © 2012

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Rocking Bonnie

Bonnie and me in the rocking chair
Hours go by and we don't care
Time can come and go as it may
We'd sit in the chair and rock all day

Pachelbel Canon on the stereo
In time we rock back to and fro
The rocking chair making a creakedy squeak
Dreamy sounds that put her to sleep

She's in a heap across my chest
Comfy and cozy, peaceful, at rest
I kiss the top of her head and her hair
She smells like roses petals wafting on air

More time passes, she's still asleep
Laundry and dishes will have to keep
As soon as I stop she frets a bit
I'll just wear the rocker legs off of it

What's more important than times like these?
Before you know it, the years will flee
Well, time can come and go as it may
We'll sit in the chair and rock all day


Written by Sara Fielder © 2000

NOTE: This poem was written when my daughter Bonnie was a newborn.

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The Poem Tired Of Being Written Of Itself

THE POEM TIRED OF BEING WRITTEN OF ITSELF


The poem tired of being written of itself
It wanted other worlds and more distant beauty
It wanted the inspiration that ordinary life gives
It wanted too a language beyond what simple words could mean
But the poem could not be more than it was
It fell back upon itself
It was lost in its own lonely being
The poem stayed forever a poem about itself
And when no one read it
The poem had only itself to blame.

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Rebecca Berkowitz

She writes love on her arms
Drips it on pages
Goes to the bathroom
to
pick her nose
Then
worships the sages
Don't look now
She's playful


Written by Sara Fielder © 2012

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