A Chipped Shoulder

Stop trying to be my friend
I know you're a nice person
Nice people need acceptance
But,
you're barking up the wrong tree
I don't need acceptance
I only need to be liked by me


By Sara Fielder © 2012

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Know it All

How does it feel to know it all?
I'm curious, do tell
To be so arrogant enough
The rest can go to hell
It must be nice up on your throne
You intellectual snob
To think the worlds so black and white
And we are but it's dogs.

It must be nice to know it all
Forgive, but I must ask
Ever lose an argument?
No, no. There's not a chance
When others bow and kiss your feet
The hem that trims your robe
Does your huge ego jump for joy
On top but all alone?

It must be nice to know it all
The rest of us so small
We'll just pull weeds
And mind the sheep
And drink the bitter gall
We'll just sit back as best we can
Obligingly and nod
Yes yes, your'e right, of course you are
Let's not forget you're God


Written by Sara Fielder © 2011

NOTE: This poem was written about my husband after a disagreement.

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Rebecca Berkowitz

She writes love on her arms
Drips it on pages
Goes to the bathroom
to
pick her nose
Then
worships the sages
Don't look now
She's playful


Written by Sara Fielder © 2012

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It Would Be So Nice

It would be so nice
It would be so nice
It would be so nice
To meet, sometime
Everybody wakes, and in the morning
Hot tea and cant stop yawning
Pass the butter please.
Have you ever read the daily standard?
Reading all about the plane thats landed
Upside down?
And no one knows what I did today
There can be no other way
But I would just like to say
It would be so nice
It would be so nice
It would be so nice
To meet sometime
It would be so nice
It would be so nice
It would be so nice
To meet sometime
Everybody cares about the weather
And everybody should know better
What a waste of time
Everybody lives beneath the ceiling
Living out a dream that sends them reeling
To a distant place
But no one knows what I did today
There can be no other way
But I would just like to say
It would be so nice
It would be so nice
It would be so nice
To meet sometime
It would be so nice
It would be so nice
It would be so nice
To meet sometime
It would be so nice
It would be so nice
It would be so nice
To meet sometime

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I Better Be Good

If I ain't cool
My daddy gonna send me
To Military School
If I ain't nice
My girlie gonna freeze me
With cold shoulder ice
If I'm real late
My teacher gonna use me
For alligator bait
So, I better be good
I better be good
If I jump on the gas
The cops are gonna jump
All over my back
If I smoke too much
Doctor says he's gonna
Put my lungs in a crutch
If I'm caught without my pants
Consuelo's dad is gonna shoot
Until he sees me dance
So, I better be good
I had better be good
You better be nice
You better be nice
You better be nice
You better be nice
Nice, nice, nice - you better be
Nice, nice, nice - you better be
Nice, nice, nice - Uh, uh, uh, uh
Nice, nice, nice
Nice, nice, nice
Nice, nice, nice
You better be nice tonight
If I spray it on the seat
Lady gonna tie a big knot
In the meat
If I spewey too fast
Lover's gonna stick
My Wrangler in a cast
If zipper grabs skin
I'll know I had it out
When I shoulda kept it in
Ow.
I better be good
I better be good
I better be good
Ooh.
You better be nice
You better be nice
You better be nice
You better be nice
Nice, nice, nice - you better be
Nice, nice, nice - you better be
Nice, nice, nice - Uh, uh, uh, uh
Nice, nice, nice
I'd better be nice tonight - yeah
Nice, nice, nice
Nice, nice, nice
Nice, nice, nice

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Peer Pressure, Identity, and Acceptance

Just not fitting in
Where's those people?
Is there anyone like me?
Am I supposed to be like them?
Just not fitting in

I want acceptance they don't want me
They want me to compromise
This isn't who I am
Who am I anyways?
It's only temporary.... right?
I can't lose myself cause I'm....well I'm me

I need acceptance they're like a distant dream
They're staring right through me
They're speaking to me out of sympathy
They see through my act
They see.... no they couldn't
Who are they anyways?
I guess I'll call them..... well, they're friends
They're all I got

I crave acceptance
The pangs of loneliness
No it's not that
Not quite
As much as I crave acceptance
I think deep down
I don't want to have to change
I think deep down
If I could speculate about myself
Deep down I want to be me
But who.... who am I? I can't remember or maybe....
Maybe there's nothing to remember

Just fitting in
Has changed me
Where can I get real acceptance
Would anyone just care about me even knowing that I was me?
I can't even love me, I don't want to feed me, I don't want to help me
Why would they?
Is there anyone who'd just want me, even if they knew it was me?

Acceptance
It's not just a commodity, it's a necessity
So I found acceptance
It took my life but I'd gladly give it up again
It's better that I no longer live
Well in the my old definition of life
This.... this is life
It's acceptance

I found acceptance with the one I deserved it from the least
Someone I never did anything for
One of my greatest enemies
That's why this acceptance
This forgiveness
This love
Changed me
From the inside
Out

I think I found part of me, I must show my friends
Or that's what I thought
Because the cruel reality of the world is that it
Denies us that one thing that we need to survive that one thing we crave
Acceptance
When I told them He loved me
I lost what little friends I did have
But I have more than I've had
Because I have

Acceptance

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Shallow Girl

I saw you in the marketplace
You cast a downward eye
Pretending to buy produce
And not notice I'd walked by
I wanted to say something
As you studied Bartlett pears
Cause in my mind I knew you knew
That I was shopping there
How difficult would it have been
To smile and say hello?
Not lingering to say too much
So grass would therefore grow
Under our feet except that we
The niceties had met
Required in society
A simple, easy debt
But all along you acted like
Most people always do
Like you had never seen me
Superficial and untrue


Written by Sara Fielder © 2012

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Overflow

I don't need ritualistic liturgy
To know God lives inside of me
No holy water on my head
A rosary my fingers thread
He makes up every single ounce
Of my being
My heart overflows
And my voice wants to scream
Till I burst into tiny microscopic beams
Of light and fire and sparks
That gleam


Written by Sara Fielder © 2012

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Patrick

Back then, when life was green among the curly ferns
And it was happy as the height of crystal night
My brother was my younger treasure
And we would daily play
by climbing trees and building forts with skinly knees
We were milky soft
Our eyes, they shined
And there was no such thing as watching time


Written by Sara Fielder © 2012

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Watching Mother Die

Class is almost over
And the bell's about to ring
As she slips away to darkness
Praying 'What's next? Anything? '
And she asks for God's forgiveness
Drawing in her last frail breath
Sill at least the pain is over
Though He might not plumb exist
And I wonder if she's lonely
And I wonder if she's scared
To let go of all the ego
Eighty years that she has carried
But I'm too afraid to ask her
Her last thoughts before she goes
Does she think she'll be transported?
No one's been there, no one knows
Then I cry to think who I'll become
When her soul finally leaves
And I hate myself for wondering that
It isn't about me

Written by Sara Fielder © 2012

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Junk

I know I cant compare
To Maya Angelou or Baudelaire
You will not find me
On the shelf
With them or those that make you
Feel
You want to rent your clothes
With such despair and weep
With grief you cannot bear
I am replete
With simple diction tight and neat
My poems are junk
Someday be buried with me
Meek
Like Hallmark cards
Not fit for lounge rats in a bar


Written by Sara Fielder © 2012

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My Death Wish

Carve me like a pumpkin
With a cap upon my head
Scoop out my brains to mix with yeast
And knead them into bread
Cut out my eyes so I can’t see
The evil everywhere
And use them to play pool with
Doesn't matter
I don’t care
Snip off my hair to knot and braid
A rope that I can use
To tie around my woeful neck
And end it none to soon
And with what’s left
Chop, blend and mix
A tonic that will grow
A crop of red tomatoes in
The Summer you might sow


Written by Sara Fielder © 2012

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Say Something Nice

Say that you like me the way I am
Just take some time out to understand
It may not be much, but I do all I can
Say something nice
Id never do it to one of you
Id say something nice if it wasnt true
Id make you feel better when youre feeling blue
Id say something nice
Say something nice, only once or twice
Say something nice, only once or twice
Say something nice
I wanna hear that Im beautiful
But you wouldnt say it even if I were
Wearing my diamonds and a coat of fur
You wouldnt say nothin nice
Tell me you think that my hairs real nice
Dont stand around and just criticize
Cant you understand that when a person tries
You say something nice
And its oh so hard, oh so hard
To listen to the words that you say
Oh, say something nice, just once or twice
It wouldnt hurt, dont you see
I wanna hear something nice, say something nice
Say something nice, just once or twice
It dont hurt you at all, say something nice
Say something nice baby, only once or twice
Say something nice
Say something nice baby, only once or twice
Say something nice
Hey dont you hear me, hey dont you hear me
Hey dont you hear me, hey dont you hear me
Say something nice
Say something nice
And its oh so hard, and its oh so hard
And Im dying to hear what Ive never heard (fade out)

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The Voice

Hey you
talking to me with your forked tongue
Go ahead
Keep telling me your lies
I can spot deception a mile away
You don't fool me
Just when I think you're gone for good
you show up again
putting me into a state of confusion and chaos
by saying what you think I want to hear
A constant tease that makes me
feel like a tangled mass of nerves
First you say you love me,
I turn around, and then you hate me
never seeming to make up your mind
Why do you do this to me?
Two faced bastard
I can't take this anymore
I won't listen
Get out of my head or you're dead


Written by Sara Fielder © 2012

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My Prison

I don't know half as much as you
I won't pretend to
I just know what I know
Shut up, God told me so
Go on and have that argument with
Yourself
I'll wander room from room under impressed
While you are hell bent
On educating me with your divinity
You don't notice I'm not listening
Do you like the sound of your own voice that much?
Was this a CONVERSATION of such?
Strange to me when once upon a time
I was enthralled
But
Then my admiration grew
Creating a monster on his mountaintop
Without a clue
Making me to run
In opposite direction
The very thing that once fueled my desire
Has now become my prison


Written by Sara Fielder © 2012

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Der Liebesbrief

How have you been? My dear, my dear
You have not written in nary a year
Oh really? It's only been two or three months?
Whatever, whatever, it feels like a bunch
You think that it's funny, that's verdantly clear
Don't worry, I'm gone so there's nothing to fear
But I thought that I'd write a few lines so you'd know
I've moved on just as you writing poems as I go
And like you I'm a cynic so why should I care?
That you left me without having shed any tears
And those days that my heart feels it's tourniquet choke
I ignore with a whiskey, TV and a smoke

Written by Sara Fielder © 2012

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Mikes Song

Trapped in time and I dont know what to do
These friends of mine, I can see right through
You dont gotta tell me I dont gotta move
cuz Im sittin back here sharin in the groove
No Im no nice guy (me no are no nice guy)
No Im no nice guy (me no are no nice guy)
No Im no nice guy (me no are no nice guy)
I walk through the hallways inside my mind
I chase the backbeat from behind
Big dude in the doorway was blockin my way
He reached to grab me and this is what he said
No Im no nice guy (me no are no nice guy)
No Im no nice guy (me no are no nice guy)
No Im no nice guy (me no are no nice guy)
This is the end
My only friend, the end
Indians lying on dawns highway bleeding
Ghosts in the young childs fragile ... mind
Aahhhhhhhh!
Careful with that axe, eugene
Mother
Careful with that axe, eugene
Aahhhhhhhh!!!!!

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200 Corpses

In the field of books
where people have no faces
I entered innocently
to look among the pages
They smacked gum on and on and on
all the dizzy dirty blonde day long
There were about two hundred of them
Maybe they were jaded
Silas said it was as pretty as apples
and they were kindly nice to me at first
licking my face with golden leaves
and it was so seductively maddening
that I had to throw them in the fire
before they ate me

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Hello

Yesterday each step smelled like perfume
Plumeria and harvest rose in bloom
In present moment
Dreams
They look ahead
No fear of future fate
No future dread
We don’t look back, we only look ahead
Until the end
And we are nearly dead
And emptiness ‘round corner comes to view
Or with some luck
Perchance there’s something new
And with one kiss
We say to earth Goodbye
And hope our fleshly pains
Are but mellow
And when at once we meet that Godly eye
We can embrace with heartfelt love
Hello


Written by Sara Fielder © 2012

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The Screamy Meanies

Each night the screamy meanies come
To kick me wide awake
They spit on me and yank my hair
Poke me with three pronged stakes
They torment without mercy
Till I’m drenched in my own sweat
They think it’s rather funny
And they live under my bed
One’s name is Anorexia
One’s name is Latex Sex
One’s name is You’re a Loser and one’s
Pills That You Ingest
One’s You’re a Dirty Liar and one’s
Your Extremely Vain
One’s You Like to Play with Fire
Till it Burns you With it's Flame
One’s You Should Read Your Bible More
One’s You Are Such a Fool
The One whose names Judgmental
Thinks he’s consummately cool
They all are very vengeful
And none of them are the same
Thank God in a few hours they
Go back from whence they came


Written by Sara Fielder © 2012

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No One Questioned the Reek

When behavior they 'then' expressed,
Was not addressed...
But to some questionable?
Those of responsibility could have stood up,
To the plate.
No one did this.
But many bit down to chew!
And...
Instead,
An appreciation for that was shown.
With a bowing to lower eyes and heads.

Mixed signals were sent.
And deceit and devilment...
Were given carte blanche signals,
Not to slow down with caution...
But to move like blinded bulls,
Charging through halls...
Where precious crystal and china were used.
And no one confused a 'no' with a 'go'!
In fact...
Honors were given.
And some medals bestowed.

Some folks were given carte blanche signals.
For more of this to be exposed.
And it showed.

And they did...go!
Taking 'everything' with them,
To an humongous cellpool!
A deepened hole...
Where rooms were added.
And pretensions glowed!

With a renovation to extend the existing stench.

Guests were invited and asked to adorn masks.
No one questioned the reek.
It was as if an acceptance grew.

No one questioned the reek.
It was as if an acceptance grew.

No one questioned the reek.
It was as if an acceptance grew.

No one questioned the reek.
It was as if an acceptance grew.

And it did!
No one hid.
Deceit was done,
And everyone told...
Their bigger 'fibs'.

But...
No one questioned the reek.
It was as if an acceptance grew.

No one questioned the reek.
It was as if an acceptance grew.

No one questioned the reek.
It was as if an acceptance grew.

And it did!
No one hid.
Deceit was done,
And everyone told...
Their bigger 'fibs'.

And...
No one questioned the reek.
It was as if an acceptance grew.

No one questioned the reek.
It was as if an acceptance grew.

No one questioned the reek.
It was as if an acceptance grew.

No one questioned.
No one questioned.
No one questioned the reek.

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