The Wonky Spoon Cafe
She makes a decent apple pie
at the Wonky Spoon Cafe
where eggs are easy over
and chips all deep fat fried.
Full English breakfast every day,
the bacon is real good
but how she scowls is scary
and turns folk off their food.
She makes the cream turn sour
and customers all cringe
as they slurp their mugs of tea
and eat their mushy peas.
Her face can scare most patrons
but worse, far worse than this
her husbands manic chortles
can cause their bums to hiss.
So if you'd like a pasty,
don't try the Wonky Spoon
for though the food is passable
the atmosphere is cruel.
She nails down all the cutlery
and though she lends out plates,
God help you if you dare return
a single plate too late.
She'll scold you and berate you
call you thief and more,
she'll bar you from the cafe
and throw you out the door!
A nasty piece of work,
there's no one can deny
but blow me down and whistle
she makes mean apple pie.
poem by Ruth Walters
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
Salad is Incompatible with Life
Yes, my waist is fifty inches -
Big for me because I'm short.
And yes, I like my cheddar cheese
When partnered with a vintage port.
Okay, okay, that double cream
Is always served with pud,
And cake and biscuits with my tea
Are just no bloody good
For my poor hardened arteries,
But see my point of view,
Please dear wifey if you please,
A Salad makes me spew!
I'd rather eat a bowl of air
Than crunch away on greens;
Drink water from the toilet bowl
Or nibble on my jeans!
But salad! Are you there?
You know it makes me snappy -
So let me fill my face with grub,
Stay fat, and die young happy!
Copyright Mark R Slaughter 2009
food food food food food food food food food
food food food food food food food food food
food food food food food food food food food
food food food food food food food food food
poem by Mark R Slaughter
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Greedy Cat at the Cafe.
He sits at the corner table
with not a fur out of place,
delicately he eats with a well-manicured claw,
then, overwhelmed by the delicious smell - and taste,
shovels mouthful after mouthful in with his paw.
He greedy comes to the Cafe everyday
for breakfast, lunch and afternoon tea,
Gets served by Chris and Morgan,
two lovely people who, to please their customers
go out of their way.
The Cafe but had no name,
a catchy title none could think of,
But then the cat with the appetite so greedy,
said 'why not name it after me? '
'I always come here everyday,
and the freshest food you go out of the way to serve,
It would do me the greatest honour
if you named it The Greedy Cat Cafe'
So the cafe at last had a name,
'The Greedy Cat' it's now called,
Still everyday there go's that greedy cat,
Because of the food -
and Chris and Morgan's service with a smile -
he could never get bored.
02/01/06.
Syrup Sponge
Pour a pint of cream
Upon my spongy bulge!
Scoop me with a
Hefty spoon;
Taste my essence -
Do you swoon?
Feed your self-esteem; indulge
In me until you burst -
Death by syrup sponge - you're cursed!
And as the count in inches gain
Upon your weary waist, the strain
Will tell, but you'll not care -
Steeped in sponge, you're unaware!
Copyright © Mark R Slaughter 2010
food food food food food food food
food food food food food food food food
food food food food food food
food food food food food food
poem by Mark R Slaughter
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Reverse
Cherry, whipped cream
Chocolate sauce, ice cream
I can't enjoy it, I wish I could
But my body rejects the food
Fingers on my lips
Slim down my hips
I eat until I'm full
Show everyone I'm normal
Head bent over the bowl
No longer full
Back up in reverse
Wanting more, makes it worse
Ice cream, chocolate sauce
Whipped cream, cherry, food loss
poem by Brynn Fier
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Chicken & chips
Chicken & chips
Often brought by fast food addicts
Who love the finger licking taste
Fried fatty food
Unhealthy but cheap
Eaten for hunger's sake
Shop owners
Laughing all the way to the bank
At the expense
Of junk food loving customers
Who just want to fill their belly
With a cheap box of fried chicken & chips.
poem by Sinclair Azubuike
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Mushy Peas
Minty green and mean,
Mushy pea clean.
Add to the plate,
Of your best mate.
Mushy peas and chips,
Raised to the lips.
Believe me when I say,
A sensation so intense,
Will leave you, in suspense.
Mushy peas
Minty green, yet supreme.
© 2012
poem by Nick Strong
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Fussy About Food
I’ve always been really fussy about what I eat,
But I’ll tolerate most foods, if the cook cheats!
It really depends on how a food has been cooked,
Whether or not, it has a place in my good books.
Examples of my some of my most hated foods,
Are sliced roast beef and apples that are stewed.
I’ll eat beef that’s been minced up into a pie,
And apples diced into a crumble are also fine.
Fresh coriander leaves, I definitely will not touch,
But cooked in a curry, I don’t mind them so much.
On potatoes that have been boiled, I’m not that keen,
But eating mashed potato or chips, I can be often seen.
Egg and cress sandwiches, by me, are never approached,
But I love eggs that are hard boiled, fried or even poached.
I dislike the taste of carrots that have been picked fresh,
But with the taste of tinned carrots, I’m really impressed.
I’m not so keen on either petit pois or garden peas,
But with the taste of mushy peas, I’m very pleased.
In pies and pasties, I hate to have a filling of cheese,
But I’ll devour a slice of cheese on toast with ease.
I’ve been a fussy eater pretty much all of my life,
And, caused my mother much trouble and strife.
When I was small, I often left much of my dinner.
My mum often worried that I would get thinner.
Like many other children, my main course
Often ended up, smeared with tomato sauce.
The enjoyment of a meal, this often improved,
And frayed tempers were also often soothed.
If there was a certain food, which I did really hate,
My mum would still insist putting it upon my plate.
Even with it on my plate, I still didn’t like the taste,
So that particular food would inevitably go to waste.
As I’ve got older, I’ve acquired an improved appetite,
Much to my mother’s extreme relief, and total delight.
Now, as an adult, my dinner plate is often cleaned,
And, hardly ever is a single morsel left, to be seen.
poem by Angela Wybrow
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Shoo Fly Pie & Apple Pan Dowdy
If you wanna do right by your appetite,
If youre fussy about your food,
Take a choo-choo today, head new england way,
And well put you in the happiest mood. with:
Shoo fly pie and apple pan dowdy
Makes your eyes light up,
Your tummy say howdy.
Shoo fly pie and apple pan dowdy
I never get enough of that wonderful stuff.
Shoo fly pie and apple pan dowdy makes the sun come out
When heavens are cloudy,
Shoo fly pie and apple pan dowdy,
I never get enough of that wonderful stuff!
Mama! when you bake,
Mama! I dont want cake;
Mama! for my sake
Go to the oven and make some ever lovin sh,
Shoo fly pie and apple pan dowdy
Makes your eyes light up,
Your tummy say howdy,
Shoo fly pie and apple pan dowdy
I never get enough of that wonderful stuff!
song performed by by Ella Fitzgerald
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Spoon
Spoon in spoon
Stirring my coffee
I think of you
And turn to the gate
But on my way
Came up with the answers
Scratched my head
And the answers were gone
From hand to hand
Wrists to the elbow
Red blood sand
Could dad be god
Crosses cross
Hung out like a wet rag
Forgive you why
You hung me out to dry
Maybe Im a little crazy
But laughing out loud
Makes it all pass by
Maybe youre a little crazy
But laughing out loud
Makes it all subside
Holding, Im holding
Falling, Im still falling
Spoon in spoon
Stirring my coffee
I think of this
And turn to the gate
But on my way
Crack lightening and thunder
Hid my head
And the storm slipped away
Maybe Im a little crazy
But laughing out loud
Makes it all pass by
Maybe youre a little crazy
But laughing out loud
Makes it all all right
Laughing out loud
(alanis)
From time to time
Minutes and hours
Some move ahead
While some lag behind
Like the baloon that rise
And then vanish
This drop of hope
That falls from his eye
(dave)
Spoon in spoon
Stirring my coffee
I think of this
And turn to go away
But as I walk
The voices behind me say
Sinners sin
Come now and play
Laughing out loud
Come now and play.
song performed by by Dave Matthews Band
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Fun at Kona Bay Cafe
In Kona Bay Cafe it feels like your on vacation
it’s by far the best destination.
Tropical music playing in the background,
happy customers talking all around.
When I am here,
all waitresses are so dear.
Kona Bay Cafe has a tropical theme,
sprinkled with Hawaiian artifacts
colors of blue and green.
they are open from seven to three.
Now they serve breakfast and lunch,
great apple muffins that really crunch.
Now, stop by and also write a great review,
for waitresses have children to feed too.
poem by Christina Sunrise
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Tender Buttons [Apple]
APPLE
Apple plum, carpet steak, seed clam, colored wine, calm seen, cold cream, best shake, potato, potato and no no gold work with pet, a green seen is called bake and change sweet is bready, a little piece a little piece please.
A little piece please. Cane again to the presupposed and ready eucalyptus tree, count out sherry and ripe plates and little corners of a kind of ham. This is use.
poem by Gertrude Stein
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Born Without A Silver Spoon
I was born without a silver spoon.
On a raining day in the month of june.
We lived in a face me and face you,
it was a crowded neighbourhood.
Born without a silver spoon.
To have a three square meal
is like wishing for the moon.
Many times we bed the night,
cold night without food.
Without a silver spoon.
My father struggled me through school.
Primary, secondary and university
education i made it through.
A silver spoon.
My wish which must come true.
For i dream of it everday.
Think about those moves i'll make.
Praying to God for steps to take.
Though i was born without
silver spoon.
Yet if heaven be true,
my family's pain will not be vain.
I was born without a silver spoon
shall be erased.
To my generations it shall be a tale.
And only a silver spoon shall remain.
poem by Enebeli Ifyprada
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Fun at Kona Bay Cafe
In Kona Bay Cafe it feels like your on vacation
it's by far the best destination.
Tropical music playing in the background,
happy customers talking all around.
When I am here,
all waitresses are so dear.
Kona Bay Cafe has a tropical theme,
sprinkled with Hawaiian artifacts
colors of blue and green.
they are open from seven to three.
Now they serve breakfast and lunch,
great apple muffins that really crunch.
Now, stop by and also write a great review,
for waitresses have children to feed too.
By Suzae Chevalier on September 19,2011
poem by Suzae Chevalier
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Aner Clute
Over and over they used to ask me,
While buying the wine or the beer,
In Peoria first, and later in Chicago,
Denver, Frisco, New York, wherever I lived,
How I happened to lead the life,
And what was the start of it.
Well, I told them a silk dress,
And a promise of marriage from a rich man --
(It was Lucius Atherton).
But that was not really it at all.
Suppose a boy steals an apple
From the tray at the grocery store,
And they all begin to call him a thief,
The editor, minister, judge, and all the people --
"A thief," "a thief," "a thief," wherever he goes.
And he can't get work, and he can't get bread
Without stealing it, why, the boy will steal.
It's the way the people regard the theft of the apple
That makes the boy what he is.
poem by Edgar Lee Masters
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I Love Food
I love food, I love food
It makes me feel really good
Yummy and nutritious food
Keeps me in a superb mood
Food is a gift from above
A sign of His assuring love
Let us not waste this treasure
Let‘s be thankful for this pleasure
I want the whole world to know
How it makes me go, grow and glow
Just eat healthy and nutritious food
And it would do you good
I love food, I love food.
(November 5,2009, Philippines)
poem by Carl Antoni Mallillin
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Spoonful
By willie dixon
Could fill spoons full of diamonds,
Could fill spoons full of gold.
Just a little spoon of your precious love
Will satisfy my soul.
Men lies about it.
Some of them cries about it.
Some of them dies about it.
Everythings a-fightin about the spoonful.
That spoon, that spoon, that spoonful.
That spoon, that spoon, that spoonful.
That spoon, that spoon, that spoonful.
That spoon, that spoon, that spoonful.
Could fill spoons full of coffee,
Could fill spoons full of tea.
Just a little spoon of your precious love;
Is that enough for me?
Chorus
Could fill spoons full of water,
Save them from the desert sands.
But a little spoon of your forty-five
Saved you from another man.
Chorus
Cats squirrel (traditional)
(instrumental)
song performed by by Cream
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Returning food
(This is a fictional poem)
You keep sending your food back because you aren't satisfied.
If you send it back just once more, we are going to step outside.
You say that my food stinks but you don't realize that I'm a great chef.
My meals have caused food poisoning but they've caused no deaths.
You said that your bacon was burned and your eggs were runny.
I'm going to kick you in the crotch and you won't think it's funny.
You keep complaining about your meals, nobody likes a whiner.
You say that I cook worse than that chef who owned Mel's diner.
I'm getting pissed because of the meals that you return.
I hold the worlds record for food that causes heartburn.
poem by Randy Johnson
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Spoonful
By willie dixon
Could fill spoons full of diamonds,
Could fill spoons full of gold.
Just a little spoon of your precious love
Will satisfy my soul.
Men lies about it.
Some of them cries about it.
Some of them dies about it.
Everythings a-fightin about the spoonful.
That spoon, that spoon, that spoonful.
That spoon, that spoon, that spoonful.
That spoon, that spoon, that spoonful.
That spoon, that spoon, that spoonful.
Could fill spoons full of coffee,
Could fill spoons full of tea.
Just a little spoon of your precious love;
Is that enough for me?
Chorus
Could fill spoons full of water,
Save them from the desert sands.
But a little spoon of your forty-five
Saved you from another man.
Chorus
song performed by by Eric Clapton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Spoon
Dave :
Spoon in spoon
Stirring my coffee
I thought of you
And turned to the gate
And on my way came
Up with the answers
I scratched my head
And the answers were gone
From hand to hand
Wrist to the elbow
Red blood sand
Could dad be god
Crosses cross hung
Out like a wet rag
Forgive you why
You hung me out to dry
Maybe Im crazy
But laughing out loud
Makes the pain pass by
And maybe youre a little crazy
But laughing out loud makes it all subside
Holding, Im holding
Im still falling
Im still falling
Spoon in spoon
Stirring my coffee
I thought of this
And turned to the gate
But on my way
Crack
Lightning and thunder
I hid my head
And the storm slipped away
Well maybe Im crazy
And laughing out loud
Makes it all pass by
And maybe youre a little crazy
And laughing out loud
Makes it all alright
Laughing out loud
Alanis :
From time to time
Minutes and hours
Some move ahead while
Some lag behind
Its like the balloon that
Rise and then vanish
This drop of hope
That falls from his eyes
Dave :
Spoon in spoon
Stirring my coffee
I think of this
And turn to go away
But as I walk
Therere voices behind me saying
Sinners sin
Come now and play
Laughing out loud
Come now and play
song performed by by Alanis Morissette
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Harold And Joe
Nothing ever gets in my way
Nothing ever gets on my mind
Nothing ever makes me stop to think about
Nothing of the kind
Nothing ever loses me sleep
And nothing ever wins my heart
Nothing ever makes me want to sing along
And nothing makes me want to start
If i'm falling down a mountain
Then i pick myself up
And if i crash into an iceberg
I don't give a frightful look around
If i am burning then i put myself out
I'm so completely full
I scare the world
Oh all the world
All inside out
Just look around
Just look around
Nothing ever puts me out
Nothing ever pulls me in
Nothing ever makes me want to jump
Nothing makes me want to begin
Nothing ever gets me down
Nothing ever gets me uptight
Nothing ever makes me run around
And nothing makes me feel i might
If i'm hanging from a peach tree
Then i cut myself down
And if i look into the sun
I just turn up the sound
And if i swallow deathcap loverooms
Then i spit them right out
I'm so completely full
I scare the world
Yeah all the world
Inside out
Just look around
Just look around
Nothing ever gets in my way
Nothing ever gets on my mind
Nothing ever makes me stop to think about
Nothing of the kind
Harold and joe
Go go go
(sing bird sing)
song performed by by Cure
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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