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A Monthly Billing Psychiatrist

Oh, You Psychiatrist, bearded Ambrose
To the slightly disturbed give a high dose.
In his myths, you browse deep
And his brain have your peep.
In his purse every month have your nose.

poem by Rajendran Muthiah
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Don't Give A Dose To The One You Love Most

Don’t give a dose to the one you love most.
Give her some marmalade...give her some toast.
You can give her the willies or give her the blues.
But the dose that you give her will get back to youse.

I once had a lady as sweet as a song.
She was my darlin’, and she was my dear.
But she had a dose, and she passed it along.
Now she’s gone, but the dose is still there.

So, don’t give a dose to the one you love most.
Give her some marmalade...give her some toast.
You can give her a partiridge up in a pear tree,
But the dose that you give her might get back to me.

So if you’ve got an itchin’...if you’ve got a drip,
Don’t sit there wishin’ for it to go ’way.
If there’s a thing on the tip of your thing or your lip,
Run down to the clinic today, and say...

'I won’t give a dose to the one I love most.
I’ll give her some marmalade...give her some toast.'
Give her the willies or give her the blues,
But the dose that you give her will get back to you.

poem by Sheldon Allan Silverstein
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Do You Want To Be Disturbed?

Do you want to be disturbed?
By your family
By your friend
By your relation
By unknown people

Do you want to be disturbed?
With their problem
With their need
With their worry
With their temptation

Do you want to be disturbed?
In inconvenient place
In unexpected moment
In weary condition
In mixed emotion

Do you want to be disturbed?
And will you be glad
And will you grumble
And will you ignore
And will you be generous

Do you want to be disturbed?
And still give your ears
And still give your hands
And still give your smile
And still give your hour

poem by Maria Sudibyo
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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If I had my way everyone would have a psychiatrist. When the brain is sick and you must throw up, you do it by being purged in a psychiatrist's office.

quote by Hedy Lamarr
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Keep It Proper

Keep it proper!
You never know on you who might peep.
When you do a thing discreet.
You never know on you who might peep.
It's best that you keep it proper.
You never know on you who might peep.
Especially when you're seen in the streets.
You never know on you who might peep.

Keep,
It
Proper.
You never know on you who might peep.
Distorting what you do to deceive.
You never know on you who might peep.
It's best that you keep it proper.
You never know on you who might peep.
When a seeker seeks a weakness to heat.
You never know on you who might peep.

Controversy lovers love it,
More obscene.
People feed sensations that wound and bleed.
With a caring less of who's affected by misdeeds

Keep,
It
Proper.
You never know on you who might peep.
Distorting what you do to deceive.
You never know on you who might peep.
Yes it's best that you keep it proper.
You never know on you who might peep.
When a seeker seeks a weakness to heat.
You never know on you who might peep.

It's best
That you keep it proper.
You never know on you who might peep.
Yes it is best
That you keep it proper.
You never know on you who might peep.
Yes it is best that you keep it proper,
That business to express on the streets.
You never know,
On you
Who might peep.

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I do not have a psychiatrist and I do not want one, for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed.

James Thurber in Credos and Curios, 1962
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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MAY' is here again

May is here again
I pray this month does not bring pain
Last month I was thinking of a calling trip
To a country God gives and they sip
Where happiness is called above
Hearts are white like dove
If I go, I may never return again
Because may has brought no pain

To tale of bountiful counts
How many followed last month in tuneless sounds
April had lodged my heart in cramp corner
A peep at the future, May can take me further
Exotic journey, April has call
In May due season my pains will fall
Might of last month I can’t retain
May is here again

poem by Godspower Oshodin
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Be Glad Your Nose is on Your Face

Be glad your nose is on your face,
not pasted on some other place,
for if it were where it is not,
you might dislike your nose a lot.

Imagine if your precious nose
were sandwiched in between your toes,
that clearly would not be a treat,
for you'd be forced to smell your feet.

Your nose would be a source of dread
were it attached atop your head,
it soon would drive you to despair,
forever tickled by your hair.

Within your ear, your nose would be
an absolute catastrophe,
for when you were obliged to sneeze,
your brain would rattle from the breeze.

Your nose, instead, through thick and thin,
remains between your eyes and chin,
not pasted on some other place--
be glad your nose is on your face!

poem by Jack Prelutsky
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The Boss's Choice

Listen to his wild romances:
He advances foolish fancies,
Each expounded as his 'view'
Gu.

In his brain's opacous clot, ah
He has got a maggot! What a
Man with 'views' to overwhelm us!
Gulielmus.

Hear his demagogic clamor
Hear him stammer in his grammar!
Teaching, he will learn to spell
Gulielmus L.

Slave who paid the price demanded
With two-handed iron branded
By the boss-pray cease to dose us,
Gulielmus L. Jocosus.

poem by Ambrose Bierce
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Until An Affliction Comes

Recovering from a dose of reality,
For those who have never dealt with it before...
Dismisses myths quickly,
When one has a death threatening experience.
Or witnesses one loved slipping slowly away from life.

It isn't pleasant to stand by,
With nothing left to do but cry!
Or have someone depict this as a sign of weakness.
And usually expressed,
By the one not affected.

And those who take these situations lightly,
Are the ones continuing to do what they like!
Until an affliction comes to hit them.
With an affect they wish everyone would stop...
To center upon them all of the attention one can give.

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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'The Mark' I played a psychiatrist. And in the '50's everybody went to a psychiatrist because if you didn't, you'd have nothing to talk about at cocktail parties.

quote by Rod Steiger
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Pop and Culture

Peeps peep on pop and culture.
People peep on pop and culture.
There's a peep on pop and culture,
With not a poop to stop.

They peep on pop and culture.
People peep on pop and culture.
There is a peep on pop and culture,
Without a poop to stop.

Lady Gaga got that pop.
People peep on pop and culture.
Taylor Swift's got Country Rock.
People peep on pop and culture.
And Kanye's a social poppa.
People peep on pop and culture.
With Beyonce and Jay-Z,
Seen on top in magazines.

Peeps peep on pop and culture.
People peep on pop and culture.
There's a peep on pop and culture,
With no poop to stop.

Peeps peep on pop and culture.
People peep on pop and culture.
There's a peep on pop and culture,
With no poop to stop.

We feed on Beatles.
Those songs of Beatles.
We feed on Beatles.
And...
Prince is there with beats.
And Michael Jackson's Pop is sweet.

We feed on Beatles.
Those songs of Beatles.
We feed on Beatles.
And Lady Gaga just rocks.

We feed on Beatles.
And they introduced this culture shock.

Peeps peep on pop and culture.
People peep on pop and culture.
There's a peep on pop and culture,
With not a poop to stop.

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I Peep on You

I peep on you
When you say
You don’t love me
I saw your rose pulps

I peep on you
I saw you rested your love
On the bowl

I peep on you
I saw your barbaric tits waving
Water dripping from there
Right to your squirrel

I peep on you
I saw your squirrel
Wet but breathing
Seems like in hunger
For partner

I peep on you
When you say
You don’t love me
I saw your beautiful face
As horny
As your squirrel

poem by Sulaiman Mohd Yusof
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Too Many Myths

(Van Morrison)
Too many myths
People just assuming things that aren't true
There's too many myths
Coming between me and you
You might have your name up in lights
But you still have to keep your game uptight
Too many myths
Tell me, tell me how you gonna cope with this
Too many myths
You act like you've never been kissed
You put your name up in lights
And now you gotta keep your game uptight
You got problems
I got problems too
Everybody's gonna think
There must be something wrong with you because
There's just too many myths
Can't you see I'm just trying to stay in the game
Just too many myths
I'm just trying to maintain
Sure I got my name in lights
But I've still gotta keep my game uptight
[Instrumental break]
You got problems
And I got problems too
But that doesn't necessarily mean that
There's something wrong with you
There's just too many myths,
Baby I'm just trying to stay in the game
There's far too many myths
I'm just trying to maintain
I got my name up in lights
But I'm just trying to keep my game uptight

song performed by by Van Morrison
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Rebuke

When Admonition's hand essays
Our greed to curse,
Its lifted finger oft displays
Our missing purse.

poem by Ambrose Bierce
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Every Move You Make

I will always be your friend!
But...
I will not always be accepting,
Of those things you do!

If you are seeking those who will approve,
Every move you make...
To constantly give you a boost,
To make you feel okay about everything you do...
You need to schedule visits to see a psychiatrist.

And I am sure with each visit...
That psychiatrist will show you,
Just how patient they are with you too.
With an expectation of payment.

I will always be your friend!
But...
I will not always be accepting,
Of those things you do!
And you wont have to pay me a thing,
To tell you when or when you are not...
Doing those things that are not suitable or 'cool'.

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Not A Bit - All Of It

Hysteria and insomnia
Stress, neurosis
Please give a better impression with clever use of cosmetics
Amang others at this very happy wedding
Were mr. and mrs [peep]
The bride looked very pretty
Wearing a dress of old lace, designed by [peep]
Last week I had been to this beautiful memorial service held at [peep]
For the late [peep]
Laaaa, la da dia haoo ...
This man is a professional singer
We think his voice will develop
La, lala lala lalala
Here is the bride
La la la la la la la la
Holy bright
Tra la la la la la la la
Not a bit
La la la la la la la la
All of it
Here is the bride
La la la la la la la la
Holy bright
Tra la la la la
Not a bit
All of it
I made myself interesting again today
Obviously

song performed by by Vangelis
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Retrospective Bird

His caw is a cackle, his eye is dim,
And he mopes all day on the lowest limb;
Not a word says he, but he snaps his bill
And twitches his palsied head, as a quill,
The ultimate plume of his pride and hope,
Quits his now featherless nose-of-the-Pope,
Leaving that eminence brown and bare
Exposed to the Prince of the Power of the Air.
And he sits and he thinks: 'I'm an old, old man,
Mateless and chickless, the last of my clan,
But I'd give the half of the days gone by
To perch once more on the branches high,
And hear my great-grand-daddy's comical croaks
In authorized versions of _Bulletin_ jokes.'

poem by Ambrose Bierce
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Im Going Slightly Mad

Words and music by queen
When the outside temperature rises
And the meaning is oh so clear
One thousand and one yellow daffodils
Begin to dance in front of you - oh dear
Are they trying to tell you something
Youre missing that one final screw
Youre simply not in the pink my dear
To be honest you havent got a clue
Im going slightly mad
Im going slightly mad
It finally happened - happened
It finally happened - ooh oh
It finally happened
Im slightly mad
Oh dear
Im one card short of a full deck
Im not quite the shilling
One wave short of a shipwreck
Im not my usual top billing
Im coming down with a fever
Im really out to sea
This kettle is boiling over
I think Im a banana tree
Oh dear
Im going slightly mad
Im going slightly mad
It finally happened - happened
It finally happened - uh huh
It finally happened
Im slightly mad
Oh dear
Ooh ooh ah ah
Ooh ooh ah ah
Im knitting with only one needle
Unravelling fast its true
Im driving only three wheels these days
But my dear how about you
Im going slightly mad
Im going slightly mad
It finally happened
It finally happened - oh yes
It finally happened
Im slightly mad
Just very slightly mad
And there you have it

song performed by by Queen
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If I am no longer disturbed myself, I will deal less with disturbed people, but I don't regret having concerned myself with them because I think most of us are disturbed.

quote by Tennessee Williams
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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First I Look At The Purse

(william robinson/robert rogers)
Some fellows look at the eyes
Some fellows look at the nose
Some fellows look at the size
Some fellows look at the clothes
I dont care if her eyes are red
I dont care if her nose is long
I dont care if shes underfeed
I dont care if her clothes are wrong
First I look at the purse.
Some fellows like the smiles they wear
Some fellows like the legs that talk
Some fellows like the style of their hair,
They want the waist line to be small.
I dont care if their legs all vein
I dont care if their teeth are big
I dont care if she wears a ring
Why waste time looking at the waist line
Cause first I look at the purse....yeah!
A woman can be as fine as can be
Kisses sweeter than honey
That dont mean a thing to me,
If you aint got no money, baby.
Cause if the purse is fat, thats where its at. yeahaa...
Some fellows like the way they walk,
The way they swing and sway.
Some fellows like the way they talk,
If they can talk talk all day.
I dont care if she waddles like a duck or talks with a lisp
I still think Im in good luck if the dollar bills are crisp
Cause first I look at the purse....yeah yeah
Keep an eye on the money
Womans got to have some fine greenbacks hah
I aint greedy guys,
Oh I dont wanna work no more

song performed by by Rod Stewart
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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