The Joyous Malingerer
Who is the happy husband? Why, indeed,
'Tis he who's useless in the time of need;
Who, asked to unclasp a bracelet or a neckless,
Contrives to be utterly futile, fumbling, feckless,
Or when a zipper nips his loved one's back
Cannot restore the zipper to its track.
Another time, not wishing to be flayed,
She will not use him as a lady's maid.
Stove-wise he's the perpetual backward learner
Who can't turn on or off the proper burner.
If faced with washing up he never gripes,
But simply drops more dishes than he wipes.
She finds his absence preferable to his aid,
And thus all mealtime chores doth he evade.
He can, attempting to replace a fuse,
Black out the coast from Boston to Newport News,
Or, hanging pictures, be the rookie wizard
Who fills the parlor with a plaster blizzard.
He'll not again be called to competition
With decorator or with electrician.
At last it dawns upon his patient spouse
He's better at his desk than round the house.
poem by Ogden Nash
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Related quotes
Rain drops fall from heaven
Tears swelling up in my eyes every night
Rain drops fall from heaven
Simply a walking disguise in the light
Rain drops fall from heaven
Wondering when i will be alright
Rain drops fall from heaven
Growing so weak no energy to fight
Rain drops fall from heaven
Losing all hope in my mind
Rain drops fall from heaven
Wishing that i could simply unwind
Rain drops fall from heaven
As time goes love makes me blind
Rain drops fall from heaven
Wishing i didn't have to leave her behind
Rain drops fall from heaven
Wanting to make everything right
Rain drops fall from heaven
Wishing i could see her in sight
Rain drops fall from heaven
Wishing I had the strength to fight
Rain drops fall from heaven
Wishing i could hold her tight
Rain drops fall from heaven
Never knowing if she remembers me
Rain drops fall from heaven
Never know if we were meant to be
Rain drops fall from heaven
Wishing i had more time to see
Rain drops fall from heaven
My family that always loved me
Rain drops fall from heaven
Thinking back to the times we had
Rain drops fall from heaven
Smiles and laughter but yet so sad
Rain drops fall from heaven
Just sitting here all alone
Rain drops fall from heaven
Wishing i was way back home
Rain drops fall from heaven
Now the only thing that is on my mind
Rain drops fall from heaven
Is the memories i have way back in time
Rain drops fall from heaven
The tears from my eyes and deep inside
Rain drops fall from heaven
Matches the drops that come from the sky
Rain drops fall from heaven
If you could even begin to wonder why
Rain drops fall from heaven
It is simply those tears from lies
Rain drops fall from heaven
Every time it rains i stare to the clouds
Rain drops fall from heaven
Hoping one day she will simply fall
Rain drops fall from heaven
Right into my arms where she belongs
Rain drops fall from heaven
So that i can sing her a song
Rain drops fall from heaven
A song that tells her how i feel
Rain drops fall from heaven
A song that is nothing but real
Rain drops fall from heaven
That will be the day that will bring me joy
Rain drops fall from heaven
Too bad it wont happen to this boy
Rain drops fall from my eyes 24/7
poem by Joshua Thomas Gage
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
When The Zipper Opens
when the zipper opens
a red bird comes out into the open
but would not leave him
it loves the nest of black weeds
attracting a tongue
a pair of lips, wet with raindrops
and honeydew
last night there was a reunion
of shadows
the moon by the window was
silent as snow
the following morning
his smile is as wide as the zipper
of her bag.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Domestic Shades-22
The Forsaken Maids
Narsamma was my first maid!
New place new language then newly married!
Narsamma was dominant like a mother-in-law.
Atrocious Anjamma never turned in frequently
'No one opened the door' said she cleverly
The door would be wide open the next day
'Chitfund' Palani had no proper timing
With too many children mostly for herding!
How much I was patient with her stink!
Another Palani came in only to steal money.
I could only shout at husband honey!
Because I never keep wallet unsafe.
Helpless somehow I brought in an aged lady.
'Slow motion Sulochana' in comedy.
How I patronised her in sympathy!
Dare devil Avudai was horrible!
Her threat to bringin her husband, terrible
I was angry with her improper washing.
Mari, the latest, nine more were short timed.
My husband has nick-named me 'Maiden Maid'!
poem by Indira Renganathan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
A disrepair soul in the monorail
I never count my precious breathe as I know everything has its own limits,
This breakable dishearten skeleton doesn't stand like a breakwater which face the force of waves.
Is this hidden soul disperse when you stop breathing?
* Aging; First you forget the names, then you forget the faces and you forget to pull your Zipper up, then you forget to pull your Zipper down.
-Leo Rosenburg
poem by Nimal Dunuhinga
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Johnny McCarthy
He lived in a small house near the Town of Millstreet
At Inchaleigh close to the greyhound track
Some knew him as Johnny the old house painter
Whilst others simply called him Johnny Mac.
He was unmarried never fathered children
Which seems a pity as he'd have made a good dad
In his twilight years he walked his terrier Brandy
And Johnny said the best dog I have had.
He was a house painter and decorator
And he worked hard to earn his every bob
And those he worked for gave him more employment
For Johnny always did a tasty job.
Some people thought him to be a bit grumpy
But is there a perfect person anyway?
When hung over after a night out drinking
One can hardly feel too cheerful the next day.
He was an honest man Johnny McCarthy
A character of sorts in his own way
Since he last walked to Millstreet Town with his dog Brandy
On looking back it seems like yesterday.
Some knew him as Johnny the old house painter
Whilst others simply called him Johnny Mac
He lived at Inchaleigh close to the Town of Millstreet
In his small house close to the greyhound track
poem by Francis Duggan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
quote by Emo Philips
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
After A Morning Quarrel
After a morning quarrel with his wife
A husband has got a terrible life.
After work, coming back home,
He finds a warning syndrome.
It’s a note lying on the table:
Honey, I think you are able to heat up the food,
Today I am in a bad mood,
So, to cheer me up I went to my friend
To watch the film with a happy end.
The food is already on the stove.
The stove is in the restaurant The Fat Duck.
I wish you a good luck!
poem by Larisa Rzhepishevska
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Funeral Parlor
Sitting in the funeral parlor
On the night before the day
Think i might have left the stove on
Think i might have left the door unlocked
I don't know if
The stores will all be closed when i get out
I don't know if
The chores will all be done when i get home
Sitting in the funeral parlor
Listen to the organ play
What if i forgot the trashcan
What if i forgot to telephone
I don't know if
I wrote the number down in my book
I don't know if
I can stand to stay here one more second
song performed by by Eels
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Clothes Line
After a while we took in the clothes,
Nobody said very much.
Just some old wild shirts and a couple pairs of pants
Which nobody really wanted to touch.
Mama come in and picked up a book
An papa asked her what it was.
Someone else asked, what do you care?
Papa said, well, just because.
Then they started to take back their clothes,
Hang em on the line.
It was january the thirtieth
And everybody was feelin fine.
The next day everybody got up
Seein if the clothes were dry.
The dogs were barking, a neighbor passed,
Mama, of course, she said, hi!
Have you heard the news? he said, with a grin,
The vice-presidents gone mad!
Where? downtown. when? last night.
Hmm, say, thats too bad!
Well, theres nothin we can do about it, said the neighbor,
Its just somethin were gonna have to forget.
Yes, I guess so, said ma,
Then she asked me if the clothes was still wet.
I reached up, touched my shirt,
And the neighbor said, are those clothes yours?
I said, some of em, not all of em.
He said, ya always help out around here with the chores?
I said, sometime, not all the time.
Then my neighbor, he blew his nose
Just as papa yelled outside,
Mama wants you t come back in the house and bring them clothes.
Well, I just do what Im told,
So, I did it, of course.
I went back in the house and mama met me
And then I shut all the doors.
song performed by by Bob Dylan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
I hope part 3
I hope when you hold her that you will think of me
Wonder how I'm doing and wishing me you could see
I hope when she smiles at you, you see me face
Turn your head and want to cry for me you couldn't replace
I hope when she's laying next to you your wishing it was me
Wishing it was my hand you hold and touching my body
I hope when you look in her eyes your heart feels hurt
Because it was my eyes that you wish, into, you could look
I hope when you make love to her that you will miss me
The way I loved you and how I satisfied you completely
I hope when you grow old and your kids are gone
That you'll think back to leaving me and realize you were wrong
I hope one day you wish that you had stayed with me
That I was the old lady holding your hand as we walk down the street
poem by Your Pusha
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Thyroid
I've got a tin of fruit in my thyroid baby
A neurotic robotic
I've got a tin schizo in my thyroid honey
A despotic robotic
I've got an android in my thyroid baby
An exotic robotic
Whizzes round in my thyroid honey
A psychotic robotic
I've got a pepper corn callous thyroid
A honey of a fruit
I've got a kipper born in my thyroid sweet
A funny old suit
I've got a zipper torn in the thyroid baby
A runny bald lute
I've got a schizo zipper in my thyroid sugar
A despotic honey coat
I've got an android corn in my thyroid baby
A thyroid
poem by Jasmine Maddock
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Back To The Coast
West coast, try outs
You've got to make it before you die out
New York is the hard way
Time to pack it up and get to L.A.
If you want to be a star get back to the coast
Back to the coast
You're gonna make it real far so get back to the coast
Back to the coast
My way is the sky way
Ain't got no time for the highway
I've got to get to the coast, fast as I can
Get to L.A. we'll be the number one band
If you want to be a star get back to the coast
Back to the coast
You're gonna make it real far so get back to the coast
Back to the coast (come on)
You've got to get on back (get back)
If you want to be a star get back to the coast
Back to the coast
You're gonna make it real far so get back to the coast
Back to the coast
I say back back back back back, back to the coast
Oooo, yeah get back back back back back, back to the coast
Whoa yeah
If you want to be a star get back to the coast
Back to the coast
You're gonna make it real far so get back to the coast
Back to the coast (oh, get on back), back to the coast
song performed by by Quiet Riot
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
The Boston Rag
Any news was good news
And the feeling was bad at home
I was out of mind and you
Were on the phone
Lonnie was the kingpin
Back in nineteen sixty-five
I was singing this song
When lonnie came alive
Chorus:
Bring back the boston rag
Tell all your buddies
That it aint no drag
Bring back the boston rag
You were lady bayside
There was nothing that I could do
So I pointed my car down
Seventh avenue
Lonnie swept the playroom
And he swallowed up all he found
It was forty-eight hours til
Lonnie came around
Chorus
song performed by by Steely Dan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Boston Rag
Any news was good news, and the feeling was bad at home
I was out of my mind and you were on the phone
Lonnie was the kingpin back in nineteen sixty five
I was singing this song when Lonnie came alive
Bring back the Boston Rag,
Tell all your buddies that it aint no drag
Bring back the Boston Rag
You were Lady Bayside, there was nothing that I could do
So I pointed my car down Seventh Avenue
Lonnie swept the playroom and he swallowed up all he found
It was fourty eight hours till Lonnie came around
[Chorus]
[Chorus and fade
song performed by by Steely Dan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Love-letting
'Woman places corpse of husband in closet.
Linah B-,64, said her husband died
In October 31 in either 1977 or 1978 and she
Put him in a closet because she
Couldn't pay for a proper burial...'
Might've been a good case
For Perry Mason if foul play
Had been suspected, but
The authorities got to the bottom
Of the matter when they
Got the call from the workmen
Painting the house.
Seems there was a little more than
Plaster-of-Paris on a closet floor
Than the woman let on.
One might wonder at the woman's stead
To bear the dead crime,
'No, J- is not home today, '
No one the wiser what lay
In the closet's keep.
It'll probably be the 'in' thing now-
Home Burial.
Little women will squirrel
Their loved ones away-
Where the dead never leave the house.
poem by Edward Steinhardt
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Voices at the Window
Who is it that, this dark night,
Underneath my window plaineth?
It is one who from thy sight
Being, ah, exiled, disdaineth
Every other vulgar light.
Why, alas, and are you he?
Be not yet those fancies changeed?
Dear, when you find change in me,
Though from me you be estranged,
Let my change to ruin be.
Well, in absence this will die:
Leave to see, and leave to wonder.
Absence sure will help, if I
Can learn how myself to sunder
From what in my heart doth lie.
But time will these thoughts remove;
Time doth work what no man knoweth.
Time doth as the subject prove:
With time still the affection groweth
In the faithful turtle-dove.
What if you new beauties see?
Will not they stir new affection?
I will think they pictures be
(Image-like, of saints' perfection)
Poorly counterfeiting thee.
But your reason's purest light
Bids you leave such minds to nourish.
Dear, do reason no such spite!
Never doth thy beauty flourish
More than in my reason's sight.
poem by Philip Sidney
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
The Old Wishing Well
Oh wishing well, oh wishing
Well
Will you answer me truly
If I dropp a quarter down large
Mouth
Will you answer me truly
Oh wishing well, oh wishing
Well
I want to know if my future
Look grim
Or that of a happy life ending
Will I travel the open seas
To all the exotic islands
Will I travel the world making
My imprint on life
Will I find love in mall
Or maybe my travel afar
Here I go oh wishing well
I'm eager to know my fate
Time for my wish oh wishing
Well
So
I dropped a quarter into the wishing
Well
So excited was I
It began tumble and twirl
I can see my reflection all so well
Down
This black hole that is turning
The wishing well “said to me”
Your life will be long maybe
Prosperous
You're travel the world end to
End..
Will I find my true love that
Wait's?
Well the wishing well tumble for a
Second
'And said to me'
Just dropp me a silver dollar
Than I can tell all that you
Seek..
So I ran into my house and
Went into my big jar and found
Me silver dollar
I ran back to the wishing well and
Drop that silver dollar
That old wishing well just said to me
“Thank you kindly'
But
Next time don’t believe an old
Wishing well like me
For I have grown old and ran out
Of wishes..
And wishes don't always come true..
poem by Carolyn Sears
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Black And White
Long before you ever saw your chances
You were going to burn this city down
Tired of the fashions and the dances
Tired of the people standing around
Ticking like a bomb in the night
And you knew you were right
Black and white
Blame it on the time it took to leave here
Blame it on the ones who slowed you down
Blame it on the kind of friends you knew here
Blame it on the sickness going 'round
Going round and round in the night
With your heart out of sight
With your world burning bright
Like a moth 'round a light
Black and white
The pictures of a life in flames
Black and white
The picture of a life remains
And the search you half remember
Setting out on at the start
Is burning like an ember in your heart
Time running out time running out
For the fool still asking what his life is about
Time running out time running out
Time running out time running out
Yeah, beyond a shadow of a doubt
Time running out time running out
Tell them that you've gone to find a person
Someone you lost track of long ago
Tell them that it's someone you need worse than
Anybody else you'll ever know
Ticking like a bomb in the night
You were strong, you were light
You were fast, you were bright
Then you were gone in the light
Black and white
The pictures of a life in flames
Black and white
The picture of a life remains
And the high ideals and the promise
You once dressed the future in
Are dancing in the embers with the wind
Time running out time running out
For the fool still asking what his life is about
Time running out time running out
Time running out time running out
Yeah, beyond a shadow of a doubt
Time
song performed by by Jackson Browne
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Black & White
Long before you ever saw your chances
You were going to burn this city down
Tired of the fashions and the dances
Tired of the people standing around
Ticking like a bomb in the night
And you knew you were right
Black and white
Blame it on the time it took to leave here
Blame it on the ones who slowed you down
Blame it on the kind of friends you knew here
Blame it on the sickness going round
Going round and round in the night
With your heart out of sight
With your world burning bright
Like a moth round a light
Black and white
The pictures of a life in flames
Black and white
The picture of a life remains
And the search you half remember
Setting out on at the start
Is burning like an ember in your heart
Time running out time running out
For the fool still asking what his life is about
Time running out time running out
Time running out time running out
Yeah, beyond a shadow of a doubt
Time running out time running out
Tell them that youve gone to find a person
Someone you lost track of long ago
Tell them that its someone you need worse than
Anybody else youll ever know
Ticking like a bomb in the night
You were strong, you were light
You were fast, you were bright
Then you were gone in the light
Black and white
The pictures of a life in flames
Black and white
The picture of a life remains
And the high ideals and the promise
You once dressed the future in
Are dancing in the embers with the wind
Time running out time running out
For the fool still asking what his life is about
Time running out time running out
Time running out time running out
Yeah, beyond a shadow of a doubt
Time running out time running out
song performed by by Jackson Browne
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Stuck Within The Bright Green Serrated Cloudy Muck and oh God What Have I Done?
Oh Fate Oh Fate Oh Fate
Caked with your self loathing vanity
Bring my love to me
Stuck within the bright green serrated blades of his own ideal deity
His soft black ribbons round my tongue
Strangling me
Oh Love Oh Love Oh Love
His name embroidered on my heart
All fresh and new
The puncture wounds don't even hurt that much
And when you decide to pull the thread
These scars will replace your name instead
But that's ok
You see I've got a collection here
Goodbye Goodbye Goodbye
I should have seen this coming from the time you closed me eyes
And I probably did
I KNOW I KNOW I knew right from the start that you loved your ideas more than you ever would me
And even though you say you still love me
I know I'm not the air that fills up your lungs
And I'm not tears running down your cheeks
I'm not the song stuck in your head
I'm just the rain against your windshield
Slowly but surely getting wiped away
Feverishly hanging onto the sidelines
Knowing I'll be gone by the time the sun comes up
poem by Audrey Stephenson
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!