Just Keep Quiet and Nobody Will Notice
There is one thing that ought to be taught in all the colleges,
Which is that people ought to be taught not to go around always making apologies.
I don't mean the kind of apologies people make when they run over you or borrow five dollars or step on your feet,
Because I think that is sort of sweet;
No, I object to one kind of apology alone,
Which is when people spend their time and yours apologizing for everything they own.
You go to their house for a meal,
And they apologize because the anchovies aren't caviar or the partridge is veal;
They apologize privately for the crudeness of the other guests,
And they apologize publicly for their wife's housekeeping or their husband's jests;
If they give you a book by Dickens they apologize because it isn't by Scott,
And if they take you to the theater, they apologize for the acting and the dialogue and the plot;
They contain more milk of human kindness than the most capacious diary can,
But if you are from out of town they apologize for everything local and if you are a foreigner they apologize for everything American.
I dread these apologizers even as I am depicting them,
I shudder as I think of the hours that must be spend in contradicting them,
Because you are very rude if you let them emerge from an argument victorious,
And when they say something of theirs is awful, it is your duty to convince them politely that it is magnificent and glorious,
And what particularly bores me with them,
Is that half the time you have to politely contradict them when you rudely agree with them,
So I think there is one rule every host and hostess ought to keep with the comb and nail file and bicarbonate and aromatic spirits on a handy shelf,
Which is don't spoil the denouement by telling the guests everything is terrible, but let them have the thrill of finding it out for themselves.
poem by Ogden Nash
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
A Public Apology
Public apologies are the new confessional.
So here goes.
I apologize for not knowing where to start with my apologies.
I apologize for being tainted with the sins of Adam.
I apologize for blaming Eve for the sins of Adam.
I apologize to the Serpent, who was just following orders.
I apologize for the seductiveness of ripe apples on the Tree of Knowledge. I just didn’t know at the time.
I apologize for not taking Genesis 1 literally.
I apologize for not appreciating the allegorical significance of Genesis 1.
I apologize for blaming the Jews for crucifying Christ.
I apologize for not being quicker to blame the relevant parties for the crucifixion of Christ.
I apologize for not giving independence to America sooner.
I apologize to the Native Americans for invading their great God’s-own country.
I apologize to the Native Americans for not stopping them sooner from killing each other’s tribes.
I apologize for entering into business agreements with the chiefs of certain coastal African tribes to bring their captives from their tribal wars to resolve America’s manpower shortage.
I apologize for dwelling on the sufferings of my family in the Holocaust, without considering the mental and emotional agony of those obliged to follow orders to massacre them.
I apologize for messing with Iraq.
I apologize for not doing a better job of messing with Iraq.
I apologize for not being Politically Correct.
I apologize for being Politically Correct.
I apologize for throwing all these things in your face and encouraging you to feel complicit in my guilt.
I apologize for not apologizing sooner.
I apologize for all the things I haven’t the imagination and humanity to apologize for.
Oh to hell with it.
poem by Michael Shepherd
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Baby I Apologize
Love my baby in the afternoon,
But shes crying, crying
Told my baby in the afternoon,
But she dont like it she dont like it
Baby used to love me so
Baby I apologize
For telling them dirty lies
I had my fun but now its done
Baby I apologize
Love you in the morning in the evening too
But she wont do what I want to
Kicked me out of my own front room
For my lyen my dirty lyin
Baby I apologize
For telling them dirty lies
I had my fun but now its done
Baby I apologize
You know my darling
I was a broken man
All my dreams had fell apart
And then a voice from above
Told me the truth of the world we live
And my darling, Id just like to say one more time
Please come back
Baby I apologize
For telling them dirty lies
I had my fun but now its done
Baby I apologize
Love you in the morning in the evening too
But she wont do what I want to
Kicked me out of my own front room
For my lyin my dirty lyin
Baby used to love me so
Baby I apologize
For telling them dirty lies
I had my fun but now its done
Baby I apologize
Baby I apologize
For telling them dirty lies
I had my fun but now its done
Baby I apologize
song performed by by Electric Light Orchestra
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.
P.G. Wodehouse in The Man Upstairs (1914)
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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No need of apology
If I did no wrong and yet
Am held so, I would not
Apologize as it would mean
That I apologize for truth
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth.
quote by Benjamin Disraeli
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for truth.
quote by Benjamin Disraeli
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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No Emotional Investment Made
No need to apologize.
You have left no integrity here.
And there has been no emotional investment made.
Not one to make your absence made clear.
No need to apologize.
You have left no integrity here.
There is nothing felt or I have witnessed...
That makes an apology something worthy to hear,
Again from your lips.
It's like this...
Excused exaggerations colorized by alibis,
Do not fly well in this atmosphere you wish to change!
For purposes to cement a meaningless relationship.
The only thing you have deposited,
Is superficiality.
And nothing of that I have embraced can you claim.
It's like this...
No need to apologize.
You have left no integrity here.
And there has been no emotional investment made.
Not one to make your absence made clear.
No need to apologize.
You have left no integrity here.
There is nothing felt or I have witnessed...
That makes an apology something worthy to hear,
Again from your lips to recite to capture empathy.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Burning In The Skies
I used the deadwood to make the fire rise
The blood of innocence burning in the skies
I filled my cup with the rising of the sea
And poured it out in an ocean of debris
I'm swimming in the smoke
Of bridges I have burned
So don't apologize
I'm losing what I don't deserve
What I don't deserve
We held our breath when the clouds began
to form
But you were lost in the beating of the
storm
And in the end we were made to be apart
In separate chambers of the human heart
I'm swimming in the smoke
Of bridges I have burned
So don't apologize
I'm losing what I don't deserve
It's in the blackened bones
Of bridges I have burned
So don't apologize
I'm losing what I don't deserve
What I don't deserve
I'm swimming in the smoke
Of bridges I have burned
So don't apologize
I'm losing what I don't deserve
The blame is mine alone
For bridges I have burned
So don't apologize
I'm losing what I don't deserve
What I don't deserve
And here's the dead wood to make the fire
rise
The blood of innocence burning in the skies
poem by Pawan Kumar 'Meonlafesta'
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You Creative Types Are So Tempermental
You want me to apologize?
OKAY...
I apologize.
'What level of sincerity,
Was that apology? '
I would say...
Right between where I would put my foot.
And the words your ears would hear,
As they rolled off my tongue.
'I accept your apology.'
I am glad of that!
Because you would find my foot painful.
And those words rolling off my tongue...
Would be created just for you.
'But then again...
That doesn't sound too bad of an offer.
Do you mind if I returned your apology?
What did I say now?
Who cares!
Walk away.
You creative types are so tempermental.'
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Lady Of The Flowers
scuse me, I apologize
He likes your attitude, he tries it on for size
He spends the afternoon, between your thighs
Hows that for gratitude, I apologize.
It seemed to last for hours
It seemed to last for days
This lady of the flowers
And her hypnotic gaze.
scuse me, I apologize
Shes got vacum cleaner eyes
Suck you in
Shes got magazines, filled with pear pies
scuse me, I apologize
It seemed to last for hours
It seemed to last for days
This lady of the flowers
And her hypnotic gaze.
She wears her tears on her blouse
Confused and racked with self-doubt
She stole the keys to my house
And then she locked herself out.
scuse me, I apologize
He likes your attitude, he tries it on for size
He spends the afternoon, between your thighs
Hows that for gratitude, I apologize.
It seemed to last for hours
It seemed to last for days
This lady of the flowers
Her electronic haze.
She wears her tears on her blouse
Confused and racked with self-doubt
She stole the keys to my house
And then she locked herself out.
She stole the keys to my house
And then she locked herself out.
She lays me down
She lays me.
song performed by by Placebo
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Under One Small Star
My apologies to chance for calling it necessity.
My apologies to necessity if I'm mistaken, after all.
Please, don't be angry, happiness, that I take you as my due.
May my dead be patient with the way my memories fade.
My apologies to time for all the world I overlook each second.
My apologies to past loves for thinking that the latest is the first.
Forgive me, distant wars, for bringing flowers home.
Forgive me, open wounds, for pricking my finger.
I apologize for my record of minuets to those who cry from the depths.
I apologize to those who wait in railway stations for being asleep today at five a.m.
Pardon me, hounded hope, for laughing from time to time.
Pardon me, deserts, that I don't rush to you bearing a spoonful of water.
And you, falcon, unchanging year after year, always in the same cage,
your gaze always fixed on the same point in space,
forgive me, even if it turns out you were stuffed.
My apologies to the felled tree for the table's four legs.
My apologies to great questions for small answers.
Truth, please don't pay me much attention.
Dignity, please be magnanimous.
Bear with me, O mystery of existence, as I pluck the occasional thread from your train.
Soul, don't take offense that I've only got you now and then.
My apologies to everything that I can't be everywhere at once.
My apologies to everyone that I can't be each woman and each man.
I know I won't be justified as long as I live,
since I myself stand in my own way.
Don't bear me ill will, speech, that I borrow weighty words,
then labor heavily so that they may seem light.
poem by Wislawa Szymborska
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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More people should apologize, and more people should accept apologies when sincerely made.
quote by Greg LeMond
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sorry Note
I write this for I'm not better than you
But because I would like to atone for your pain,
Since your sins you cannot contain
Sorry that you swayed me into your heart
I grew fond of you right from the start
Sorry that you caused me grief
That made our love abrupt, acutely brief
Sorry that Karma subsists in our lives
And that Karma cant help but give back to those and their lies
Sorry that in the end it'll make you sore
But I'll apologize even though it might be a bit of a bore
I'm sorry, I'm able to apologize
Something you never do to compromise
poem by Naomi Deluca
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I Would Like To Apologize As Well
By the way...
I'd like to take this opportunity,
To apologize for all those negative things...
I said about you.
'No problem at all.
I would like to apologize as well.'
You do?
For what?
'For all those things you will regret,
Once you come to realize...
I was there to protect your back.
And now that you've convinced everyone,
My purpose was to feed my own ego...
I am sure you will remember that,
Now that you are in front.
And expected to lead!
By all means...
Do that as you please.
In fact,
What you've done...
Has provided me with relief! '
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Gordon Back Step (Fun Poem 102)
Lets all do the Gordon back step.
We will make a decision
and when that falls flat
we will all step back
and apologize for that
and do the Gordon back step
like our Prime Minister likes to do.
I am sure it would make
a great dance to do.
First, make a decision
as daft as the last one you made.
Step forward with a proposal
and watch out for the no’s to the left.
Then step back and apologize for that
and do the Gordon back step.
It is so easy to do
or at least our Prime Minister
makes it look that way.
1May 2009
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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An Apology
To an isle where people stutter and rally
No doves over here nor any sign of an ally
No picket fences, just rings of barbed wire
In the middle of nowhere, I call Nomans-shire
Devoid of touch, the heart gathers dust
As the psyche welcomes the skeletons as blossoms the rust
The body aching from the pain of no tomorrow
As the hibernation maroons the heart in sorrow
An isle that no man willingly wants
An islet where there are no cries or chants
Only silent cries of freedom from the forsaken lips
Only the jibes of a few friendly quips
To shoot the breeze as the habit grows
As the smoke discolors the lips outdoors
As the panic sets sometimes, the heart in a fit
As the queue's gather for a sit on a pit
Waiting for a tomorrow a barrister's touch
From the melting lives in their daily fudge
Freedom, sweet, golden, a lavish desire
At every sight of a tie and a coat, a lawyer in attire
Now here is my solemn apology
To every citizen, languishing in a waltz in the absence of my eulogy
The boat didn't rock or turn, no one was overboard
I apologize, the boat builder built one to stand the hoard
Even for the waves that failed to swirl and twirl
The calm waters that welcomed us in our whirl
I apologize for the storms and hurricanes that slumbered in a hush
Even the winds that blew past the sails sans a single rush
I apologize for the ravaging war at home
Even for the poppy buds that smile tall in their dome
I apologize for our steadfast hope
That engrained us in our journey of elope
I apologize for the children that saw the light of the world
Even the condom I didn't wear, for creating yet another monster in a girl
Finally I apologize with my heart in my hand
That we saw our Canaan, our much awaited promise land
poem by Dilantha Gunawardana
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To The Misses
I try my best,
To not strike out!
It is hard to hit home runs...
When up at bat,
I'd rather sit and chat!
But the urge to accomplish,
Comes undetected.
Nothing to warn.
Or surprise as expected.
To the misses,
I apologize.
My mind sometimes...
Is not there to be profound.
It isn't there to release a confidence.
Or place with purpose,
With thoughts I can find...
That have depth of meaning.
To have others believe,
I am leaving something 'sound'!
I try my best,
To not strike out!
It is hard to hit home runs...
When up at bat,
And expectations...
I will 'deliver'.
When I'm not feeling that!
To the misses,
I apologize.
My mind sometimes...
Is not there to be profound.
Sometimes I am just 'here'...
Going through the motions!
Hoping that just appearing at bat...
Is enough to declare,
My devotion felt.
Is just 'that'!
But not at times to show,
How I feel in my heart...
When I am caring very deeply.
But I know not where to even start...
To deliver such depthness,
Without 'that' in expression...
Unprepared.
Yet to surface and fall apart!
To the misses,
I apologize.
My mind sometimes...
Is not there to be profound.
It isn't there to release a confidence.
And I admit at times,
None of that is around!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Ill Sink Manhattan
Ill sink manhattan
Right under the sea
Ill find the sweetest spot to watch
As it goes away
You were so happy
With the things that you said
Like, hes my lower half, you laughed
But youre going to cry
A river of tiny tears flow from your crocodile eyes
Too late to apologize, I say, as flood waters rise
Ill sink manhattan
Ill sacrifice friends
I think theyd understand my plan
Ill never be sure
Ive got a message
So before I get through
Ill find your answering machine
And Ill sink it first
Burn your forget-me-nots
Admit that true love can die
No, I wont apologize, my love, just kiss me goodbye
song performed by by They Might Be Giants
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I Apologize
{A Letter To My Soul}
Where do I start and where do I begin
Without you I know now I am nothing
After saying it to all the people I know
I never once took the time to say to you I love you so
To you I sincerely apologize
What was I thinking why did I criticize
Certainly I was being obtuse and unwise
I never looked close enough the see me in your eyes
To you I am really sorry
I was so foolish and angry
I took you for granted
But you was all that I ever needed
Now after all the things I’ve said and done
You never saw me as the villain
I swear that I am so sorry
Mine eyes were truly blurry
I cannot find the right words to let you know how I feel
For desires kept deep inside never to reveal
Please find it in your heart to forgive
I kept you like a bird in a cage captive
I was so utterly fatuous and stupid
I see you now crystal and limpid
Clearly I see that you were always there
You laughed and listen always showing you care
I was an oafish tiny man learning how to crawl
It was you that made me stand tall
You were there to catch me when I fall
I should have given you more than my all
You taught me how to live again then
You never asked me how, where, or when
You were truly my only best friend
It was you my broken heart you mend
Downward spiraling counterclockwise
I wore pants too big for my size
You made me open up my eyes
You taught me not to ever compromise
Filled with tears my spirit cries
Glistening in the skies like fireflies
Never faltered given exercise
My soul, I to you, I apologize
poem by Wilfred Mellers
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Cest What
Yes Ive been waiting
Waiting patiently and waiting
Well if you ever feeling sorry
So sorry for yourself
And they tell you not to worry
Just leave your problems on the shelf
Cest what? cest what, oh well cest what?
Thats what they tell you
Cest what? cest what, oh well cest what?
Day and night
Youre on the inside looking outside
Wishing you were somewhere else
But you sit back with reservations
As you count up all your unearned wealth
Cest what? cest what, oh well cest what?
Ah theyre sayin it again
Cest what? cest what, oh well cest what?
You know it and I know it too
Well let me tell you a story
Like the ones I used to know
bout love and all its glory
Well Im sorry but it just aint so
It took a long time just to get even
If you know just what I mean
So lets call it even steven
In the land of broken dreams
Cest what? cest what, oh well cest what?
Ah theyre at it again
Cest what? cest what, oh well cest what?
Every day and every night
I cant take it anymore
Gonna get it, dont sweat it
Dont apologize, its all around you
Gonna get it, dont sweat it
Dont apologize, its all around you
You may never be all that you wanna be
Deep down inside you, you know it will never be
No bed of roses or walk down the avenue
Culturally, socially, people walk over you
Get with the program and make with the attitude
Life is a dream if you face it my friend
Hey hey
song performed by by Supertramp
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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