My Wife and The Other Man
My wife is having
a relationship with
the bank manager
those extra three inches,
that 20% increase in girth,
those 18 hours of
chemically induced
extended pleasure
come courtesy of
the overdraft sanctioned by
the bank manager whose
smug image comes to mind
at the most ecstatic and
inappropriate moments
poem by Michael Shepherd
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
No Moss?
A frog he goes to the bank
His name is Kermit Jagger
The teller at the bank
Her name is Miss Patricia Whack
She welcomes him, that’s a fact
Kermit says “I would like a loan
I need a holiday to get away
From all those tadpoles
In the pond back home, that way”.
Kermit says “it should be OK,
my dad Mick he knows the manager
who thinks he rocks, he’s swell.”
The teller says, tell me
Do you have your ID?
Kermit produces from his pocket
A small porcelain figure of
A pink elephant, most charming.
Perfect in its shape and making
Patricia she is most confused
And finds the manager
In case she may have misconstrued.
And asks “Do you know
Kermit Jagger’s Dad, Mick?
And what on earth is this! ”
As she holds the elephant
For the mangers benefit.
And the manager says to her
“It’s a Nick Knack, Patty Whack.
Give the frog a loan.
His old man’s a rolling stone.”
poem by David Taylor
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In Big Brothers Eyes
In big Brother's eyes a great success in life
Yet he finds great pleasure in beating his wife
But such bad behaviour to little amount
They judge you far better by your bank account.
In Big Brother's eyes she is quite okay
Though the girls who work hard for her she underpay
That's not seen as cheating good business they say
Or getting rich quick in an underhand way.
He lives in the leafy suburb at a posh address
And Big Brother looks on him as a huge success
But every day of his life he lives with a lie
Narcotic addicted teenagers because of him die.
In Big Brother's eyes he is one to admire
And others to greater things he does inspire
Society stamps him with the approval seal
Though from others by stealth of deception he steal.
The bank manager he welcomes you with a smile
You've made your first million through deception and guile
You are a big hero in Big Brother's eyes
But lets face it Big Brother is not very wise.
poem by Francis Duggan
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The Maori's Wool
The Maoris are a mighty race -- the finest ever known;
Before the missionaries came they worshipped wood and stone;
They went to war and fought like fiends, and when the war was done
They pacified their conquered foes by eating every one.
But now-a-days about the pahs in idleness they lurk,
Prepared to smoke or drink or talk -- or anything but work.
The richest tribe in all the North in sheep and horse and cow,
Were those who led their simple lives at Rooti-iti-au.
'Twas down to town at Wellington a noble Maori came,
A Rangatira of the best, Rerenga was his name --
(The word Rerenga means a "snag" -- but until he was gone
This didn't strike the folk he met -- it struck them later on).
He stalked into the Bank they call the "Great Financial Hell",
And told the Chief Financial Fiend the tribe had wool to sell.
The Bold Bank Manager looked grave -- the price of wool was high.
He said, "We'll lend you what you need -- we're not disposed to buy.
"You ship the wool to England, Chief! -- You'll find it's good advice,
And meanwhile you can draw from us the local market price."
The Chief he thanked them courteously and said he wished to state
In all the Rooti-iti tribe his mana would be freat,
But still the tribe were simple folk, and did not understand
This strange finance that gave them cash without the wool in hand.
So off he started home again, with trouble on his brow,
To lay the case before the tribe at Rooti-iti-au.
They held a great korero in the Rooti-iti clan,
With speeches lasting half a day from every leading man.
They called themselves poetic names -- "lost children in a wood";
They said the Great Bank Manager was Kapai -- extra good!
And so they sent Rerenga down, full-powered and well-equipped,
To draw as much as he could get, and let the wool be shipped;
And wedged into a "Cargo Tank", full up from stern to bow,
A mighty clip of wool went Home from Rooti-iti-au.
It was the Bold Bank Manager who drew a heavy cheque;
Rerenga cashed it thoughtfully, then clasped him round the neck;
A hug from him was not at all a thing you'd call a lark --
You see he lived on mutton-birds and dried remains of shark --
But still it showed his gratitude; and, as he pouched the pelf,
"I'll haka for you, sir," he said, "in honour of yourself!"
The haka is a striking dance -- the sort they don't allow
In any place more civilized than Rooti-iti-au.
He "haka'd" most effectively -- then, with an airy grace,
Rubbed noses with the Manager, and vanished into space.
But when the wool return came back, ah me, what sighs and groans!
For every bale of Maori wool was loaded up with stones!
Yes -- thumping great New Zealand rocks among the wool they found;
On every rock the bank had lent just eighteen-pence a pound.
And now the Bold Bank Manager, with trouble on his brow,
Is searching vainly for the chief from Rooti-iti-au.
poem by Andrew Barton Paterson
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Alex Ferguson is the best manager I've ever had at this level. Well, he's the only manager I've actually had at this level. But he's the best manager I've ever had.
quote by David Beckham
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Helping
He returned an hour too late,
This was with the manager;
He returned so late to agitate,
But the manager was sloppier.
To help him we do not help,
The help from the manager was great
As the fellow began to yelp,
These men discovered how to compensate.
Helping is the winning, like sport,
That this aid is greater than an escort;
We help only in times of trouble
For they need our dangers governable.
poem by Naveed Akram
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Worry About Money
Wearing worry about money like a hair shirt
I lie down in my bed and wrestle with my angel.
My bank-manager could not sanction my continuance for another day
But life itself wakes me each morning, and love
Urges me to give although I have no money
In the bank at this moment, and ought properly
To cease to exist in a world where poverty
Is a shameful and ridiculous offence.
Having no one to advise me, I open the Bible
And shut my eyes and put my finger on a text
And read that the widow with the young son
Must give first to the prophetic genius
From the little there is in the bin of flour and the cruse of oil.
poem by Kathleen Jessie Raine
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The River
When my wife died I used to walk alone by the river,
but I don’t go near there any more.
Lost souls who had drowned used to speak to me
of the lives they had once before.
Every time I went they asked me to enter the water,
‘It will clear your mind, ’ they said.
I told them that I had never learned how to swim
and drowning is the only thing I dread.
One early morning I was walking along the river-bank
and the bank collapsed beneath my feet.
I found myself being swept along by the raging current
and saw my wife drowning in the deep.
Several of the dead I used to talk with held me under,
my breath expired and I just sank.
My wife pulled me up from the river’s depths
and a fisherman revived me on the bank.
poem by Orlando Belo
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In answer to your e-mail...
If she wants
that extra two inches,
that six more hours of ecstatic sleep-deprivation,
that concrete-and-steel erection to win architecture awards,
then send your e-mails to her,
she can pay for the bloody things.
I'm not proud.
poem by Michael Shepherd
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I followed an Italian manager and it cannot be easy when you follow a manager who thinks very differently.
quote by Jose Mourinho
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The only thing I believe is this: A player does not have to like a manager and he does not have to respect a manager. All he has to do is obey the rules.
quote by Sparky Anderson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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It's nice to come into a town and be referred to as the manager of the Cleveland Indians instead of as the first black manager.
quote by Frank Robinson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I was through as a manager. I did become involved late in the 1968 campaign at the national scene at the last minute. But I was through as a manager, and I've stayed through, incidentally.
quote by Lew Wasserman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My river bank
The water hit the bank
Like a wave upon a shore
Happiness just out of reach
Finding that is something you can’t teach
No one to talk to
No one to see
As you can tell just me
I sit alone on my river bank
No happy people passing by as I let out a gentle sigh
I realized I sit alone on my river bank
Unreal happiness in this unreal tournament they call life
I sit alone, isolated on my river bank
I shall always sit alone on my river bank
I will always be alone on this river bank
poem by EmOzEd johnston
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The Risen One (Bible Poems for Children)
A decree went out from Caesar of Rome,
All the people, return to your home.
Joseph a carpenter, Mary his wife,
She was to give birth, soon her plight.
Everyone to be taxed, was key,
All must return to their city.
The angel Gabriel, in his own say,
Told Mary, The son of God is on his way.
Jesus, was to be his name,
He will receive eternal fame.
Arriving in Bethelhem, full the town,
No place for Mary to lie down.
To the stables, she went to pray,
Washing all her doubts away.
They were in the fields, nearby,
Shepherds looked to the skies.
An angel came, to them at night,
Go to Bethelhem, see his might.
The son of God, in a manager lay,
He will wash your sins away.
The shepherds were first, to see him
there,
Lying in a manager without a care.
A beautiful baby in a manager lay,
The son of God was born that day.
poem by Heather Burns
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Birth Of Jesus (Bible Poems For Children)
A decree went out from Caesar of Rome,
All the people, return to your home.
Joseph a carpenter, Mary his wife,
She was to give birth, soon her plight.
Everyone to be taxed, was key,
All must return to their city.
The angel Gabriel, in his own say,
Told Mary, The son of God is on his way.
Jesus, was to be his name,
He will receive eternal fame.
Arriving in Bethelhem, full the town,
No place for Mary to lie down.
To the stables, she went to pray,
Washing all her doubts away.
They were in the fields, nearby,
Shepherds looked to the skies.
An angel came, to them at night,
Go to Bethelhem, see his might.
The son of God, in a manager lay,
He will wash your sins away.
The shepherds were first, to see him
there,
Lying in a manager without a care.
A beautiful baby in a manager lay,
The son of God was born that day.
poem by Heather Burns
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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You can't always wait for the guys at the top. Every manager at every level in the organization has an opportunity, big or small, to do something. Every manager's got some sphere of autonomy. Don't pass the buck up the line.
quote by Bob Anderson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The manager sits down with me; I sit down with the board. We assess the success of the year. The manager assesses whose coming through the academy system. His job is to look at what is happening in European and world football.
quote by David Gill
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Surprise in Japan - revelation in an interview
travel consultant interivew
the manager talks about
karma
lourism agency interview
the manager talks about
horrendous things japan did
It was a real surprise this manager of a famous travel agency in Japan talked about Japan's atrocities in the war when interviewing me for aj ob. In a tone of anger, he talked about what goes around comes around and that Japan too would be in for bad times when the time comes.
poem by John Tiong Chunghoo
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The verger [Somerset Maugham]
‘Have you built this vast business empire
Without being able to read and write?
Who would you be now if you were able to? ”
The bank manager asked his client, Foreman.
Foreman replied, ‘I would be a verger.’
He came to the tobacco business
Because he was oozed out by the Vicar
As he was found out to be an illiterate..
02.12.2011
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I'm not the manager because I'm always right, but I'm always right because I'm the manager.
quote by Gene Mauch
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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