Lecturer
He wrote on the board
“The husband said the wife
Is having an extra-marital affair”.
He asks the class, “Who is having the EMA? ”
Shout comes up loud, “the wife”.
He takes a piece of chalk, and puts two commas
One after husband, and one after wife.
It now reads, “The husband, said the wife, is
Having an extra-marital affair”.
He asks the class, “Who is having the EMA? ”
Confused murmur of husband, wife flutters.
“Not a word has changed, but the meaning has reversed
With just two commas.” Eats shoots and leaves, eh?
May I start the lecture on grammar, he said.
The class was all ears.
D T Joseph
19.02.08
poem by Daniel Trevelyn Joseph
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Related quotes
Family life
At home
Husband
And wife...
Some time fighting...
Word's to words...
With bad words...
Sometime hit
The husband wife
Mistakes...
Wife was crying...
Husband was woory...
Wife also
Lovingely hit...
Husband also take easy...
At night husband
Wanted wife
For sex...
Wife will say
Backpain acting
Going for
Hear with life
Every day
At familylife...!
poem by Otteri Selvakumar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Reciprocal Relationship
Wife and husband
reciprocate through love
as a centrifugal force
that settles only
to one another
Wife and husband
reciprocate through understanding
as a bonding conduit
to overrule electrifying
disagreements
Reciprocating wife and husband
make love and understanding
as best way of communication
that sustain the romance
and lasting relationship
When reciprocating collapses
between a husband and wife
romantic expression ceases
and the marital connection
becomes sour and arid
Reciprocating with each other
through love and understanding
builds up stronger foundation
as contented wife and husband
blessed with happy marriage
poem by Marvin Brato Sr
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
A Brief History Of Modern Warfare Vis-a-Vis Men And Woman
The Evolutionary War Wife: Wife created in likeness of diety, concludes husband descended from ape.
The Uncivil Wife War: Slave man uprises against cruel evil owner.
The First World War Wife: The wife to end all wives. War declared. It ended.
Wife World War Two: No peace in our time. After years of conflict, loser Wife passes Marital Martial Plan. Husband gives all money to rebuild loser.
The Korean Police Action Wife: Too much action. Wife calls police. Peace breaks out after divorce.
The War Wife From Southeast Asia: Linga, linga ling, ling, ling, ling, ling. It's over.
The Islamic War Wife: Husband refuses to submit. Jihad finally forces him to knees. He prays it will end soon.
poem by Bob Eichen
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Are You a Good Husband?
All married men want to be called a good husband
A good husband is a decent husband
Mr. Husband what you done to deserve this decency?
Has your wife ever referred to you as her good husband?
It is known that the eyes cannot see itself
Unless by reflection. Have you ever asked
Your wife for a performance appraisal
Honey, how did I perform last year?
On a scale of one to ten, one for very poor
Ten for excellent, how did I perform?
Your wife may think you are now on new drugs
If you receive less than six, you need to
Start fence mending before it is too late
A good husband sees his wife as his friend
A nice husband treats his wife as his lover
A decent husband regards his wife as a soul-mate
You should anticipate what your wife
Will need before she makes any request
By the way, have you ever bought a gift
For your wife without an occasion?
Do you have to wait for her birthday?
To inform her that she is very special to you?
Do you have to wait for your wedding anniversary?
To tell her that she is the best thing in your life
When last did you talk to your wife in-laws?
When last did you visit your wife in-laws?
What have you done to be called a good husband?
Ask for performance appraisal on a regular basis
Remember, if you make your wife happy
You will get happiness in return
poem by Julius Babarinsa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Pretty woman
Pretty woman.
But wife is beautiful.
Pretty woman is hot.
But wife is the sexiest.
Pretty woman is just for sex.
But a wife is to make love.
Wife is a forbidden fruit.
To you and all.
and wife is more caring.
Be at home and by her husband.
and wife is the husband diamond.
And the husband love making love to her.
That no other women can.
Make him feel so good.
and her husband always in love.
With her.
And wife is the husband success.
Loving and warm full happiness.
She bears our children. And
She is the most gifted darling.
poem by See Fee Lee
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Virtue persists
Every other man deserts his wife
For her extra marital sex.
Every fourth woman leaves her husband
For his extra marital relation.
One fourth men and one twenty fifth woman
Have had premarital sexual contacts.
As per survey in urban areas,
There are still scopes for women’s virtues.
29.09.2005.
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
The Seahorse
The seahorse doesn’t do divorce:
It picks a spouse for life.
The wife’s the husband and, perforce,
The husband is the wife.
A husband, feeling rightly proud
(As husbands are, of course) ,
Will say of her who’s well endowed:
‘My wife’s hung like a horse.’
poem by South Westerner
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
The Faithful Wife
The faithful wife in the Christ
Obeys her husband's word;
Claims her own authority
By calling her husband, lord.
She will love her husband dearly
As she submits unto his hand,
Teaches younger women so
In this her family stands.
The faithful wife perceives in God
Her husband is given rule;
As he submits unto the Lord
But a rebellious wife is a fool.
poem by Richard Merrell
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Mistake of Fact!
Crow! Crow!
Male crow! Female crow!
Love each other,
Wife and husband;
Wife crow lays eggs,
All are white!
Husband crow suspects
Loyalty and fidelity;
Ignorant husband,
Innocent wife,
Wife crow shows
other nests;
Trust assured
Sorry sorry,
Mistake of Fact, Forget it,
We love for ever!
poem by V.K. Kanniappan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Togetherness Is Gone
My wife,
Stop cleaning the house
Please come here
To accompany me
My husband,
The house is dirty
We aren't able to pay the maid
You've already retired
My wife,
Don't cook
It's a holiday
Let us eat outside the home
My husband,
Don't eat outdoors
We need efficient
You've already retired
My wife,
Let's keep me company
Why the rush to sleep
It's still early
My husband,
I have to get up early
To clean the house
And prepare breakfast
My wife,
I have to go this morning
My friends were waiting
Long we don't meet
My husband,
Be careful on the road
Greetings for your friends
But, why not breakfast?
My wife,
You have fallen asleep last night
I see you sleeping soundly all
I don't have the heart to wake you
My husband,
I'm sorry
I don't welcome you home
But, why should sleep on the sofa?
My wife,
I have to go again
I have social activities
With my old friends
My husband,
Don't forget dinner at home
You look very dapper
Although not wear perfume
My wife,
sorry, we were very busy
I had dinner with friends
Happy dinner, dear
My husband,
I woke up too early
But you're not at home
Where are you?
My wife,
I came home at midnight
I have to go early in the morning
I don't have the heart to wake you
My husband,
I just finished washing clothes
I've found the clothes that you wear today
But, why the smell of perfume?
poem by Hasanudin Sofyan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
My Wife’s Second Husband
THE WORLD goes round, old fellow,
And still I’m in the swim,
While my wife’s second husband
Is growing old and grim.
I meet him in the city—
It all seems very tame—
He glances at me sometimes
As if I were to blame.
Oh, my wife’s second husband
Was handsome, young and true;
He had his boyish visions
(I had my visions too).
He made a model lover—
The greenest in the game—
They say, when I was married
That I was just the same.
Though I am ten years older
My hair is dark to-day,
While my wife’s second husband
Is quickly growing grey.
I drank when first he knew me,
And he drank not at all;
I see that he, through drinking,
Is going to the wall.
A sweet ill-treated woman,
A drunken brute (Good Lord!)—
Ah, well, she got her freedom,
And he got his reward.
He’ll fight it out a season,
For Fate will not be forced,
But my wife’s second husband
Shall surely be divorced.
I sympathize, and wonder
What mutual friends would think
If my wife’s second husband
And I should have a drink.
And I a mere bystander—
It almost seems absurd—
Might lay prophetically
My hand on my wife’s third.
But my wife’s second husband
His sorrows shall forget,
We’ll clasp warm hands in friendship
And clink our glasses yet.
We’ll smoke cigars together,
In pure philosophy,
While calmly contemplating
The fate of number three.
poem by Henry Lawson
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Live For The Better
Jealous farmer stabs Pastor!
For the Pastor was having an affair with his wife;
Jealous husband stabs wife!
For his wife was having an affair with another man;
And like the stories we hear around the world,
But put off your old practices in life and, live for the better.
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
In Love's Memory
Two thousand seven, two eight less one,
In gusts of lust the deed was done.
Quenched at length, sans innocence;
Her kin’s dissent fell vainly pled
Husband and wife were wholly wed.
But oh! Yet prior to their vows made ripened,
And at the curious wife’s behest,
All confidence and trust, by guile, was broken
Gutted by a stranger’s kiss.
Though wed, wife’s life remained unchanged
Her husband’s heart was n'er the same.
Love promised haven nonetheless
…Yet delivered just a little less.
Wife’s words reduced to meaning less.
Words flowed profuse… but meaningless.
Exposed the wife’s core faithlessness.
And of wife’s nuptial promises?
- Those vows she did so bold profess! -
…She delivered just a little less.
Husband’s faith renewed through solitude,
Wife’s waxed and waned in fitful moods.
Husband, born to sing alone,
Reborn to sing his song alone
Wife, born to sing the siren’s song
Love promised haven nonetheless
…Or maybe just a little less.
Love promised haven nonetheless…
…A brief respite … no more, no less.
poem by Jr. Alto Lee Thomas
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
The Nagging Wife Won The Prize
There was a news from New Zealand,
about a nagging wife and a hesitant husband.
The wife was nagging her husband to buy a lottery ticket,
who was reluctant and hesitant,
postponing until 2 minutes before the sale closed.
The ticket won the prize.....the highest and the most.
It was about 4.2 millions NZ dollars.
They could'nt be happier.
The husband thanks his nagging wife,
for the rest of his life,
because the nagging has its bright side,
making them millionaire overnight.
At Home
At home
Wife was
Fighted every time...
With his husband...
One day husband
Run to girl friend too
Love married...?
The wife
Fighted for dog
And his children....
Husband happy
For newely married...!
Tommrow lot of fights
Thear enjoy...
poem by Otteri Selvakumar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Very Important People
Allow me to introduce:
Allison Dover, and her husband Ben.
Izumi Misu and her husband Teruo.
Jason L. Toff, and wife Anita B.
Jack Nho, and his wife Ida
Some Whispers Provoked a Wife to Lie
We were sitting, and a vernal breeze playing,
Yet she was looking, he wasn't any attention paying.
A passing concubine granted her part for the playing breeze
And whispered in the man's ears,
Then, gone with the wind
She just wanted her greetings to send.
The wife started to gasp,
Consoling herself it was a mishap.
He, a daydreamer, caught of his wife a glimpse
Trembling, shaking, and raging were her lips.
Were the concubine's whispers uproarious?
Or was his love thought to be glorious?
She'd twist the veil of expressionless.
She'd put on an edifice of deceitfulness.
And ask, 'would an infant loathe his father? '
Some whispers had a wife her husband to bother.
The husband, daydreaming of the whispers footsteps
Of whom passed and evoked the ribs
Of a wife to beseech her doubts
To fade away behind the shouts
Of lying truths, those serenity should trigger
Yet the husband's ignorance, cruelty would river.
Suddenly, the wife faced the truth with its death
And drowned herself in myrrh to act a myth
She said, 'of my thoughts you are the leader! '
Yet her husband was merely a daydreamer!
poem by Eiz Qarqash
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
I know one husband and wife who, whatever the official reasons given to the court for the break up of their marriage, were really divorced because the husband believed that nobody ought to read while he was talking and the wife that nobody ought to talk while she was reading.
quote by Vera Brittain
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Nasty Life
My friend
Married newely...
Fight to fight
Every his wife...
Wife did not
Interest in sex...?
Sex is not
Impreess wife
With husband...
So...
Fights going...
One day crying...
One day lough...
One day sad...
Life move boor
With boor...
My friend wife
Run for mohter's house...
My friend woory...
Pray for god...
Temple to temple...
The family problem is
Not sable...
Months are going...
Years are going...
My friend wife did
Not come...
Move the life...
Husband one side...
Wife one side...
It is life...?
poem by Otteri Selvakumar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Ode 300: Sun and moon, listen to my grievance!
From: Book of Ode
Period: Spring and Autumn
Dynasty: Eastern Zhou
Section: Songs of Wei State
(Collected by Confucius)
Translated by Laijon Liu (2007.08.14)
Sun and moon, listen to my grievance!
Your great lights shining upon earth.
But I have never seen such man,
Who forgot his home and course.
He keeps not vow of husband and wife,
And why he refuses to come into my room?
Sun and moon, listen to my grievance!
Your great lights shining upon earth.
But I have never seen such man,
Who forgot my love and grace.
He keeps not vow of husband and wife,
Why he leaves me alone in my empty room?
Sun and moon, listen to my grievance!
Your great lights shining upon earth.
But I have never seen such man,
Who lost his honor and Heaven’s bliss.
He keeps not vow of husband and wife,
And I should forget him, away with sorrow.
Sun and moon, listen to my grievance!
You rise from east with shining rays.
Ah- my daddy and my mommy,
My husband loves me no more.
He keeps not vow of husband and wife,
And I will not suffer in sorrow any more!
Note:
The poet may be a young and just married wife lived in State of Wei. She complained about her husband that stopped loving her. And she eventually thinks wisely that “Anyway he does not keep his vow, so she gives up her sorrow, or maybe seeks a new beginning.”
From:
http: //laijonliu.blogspot.com/
poem by Laijon Liu
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!