Three Ha'Pence a Foot
I'll tell you an old-fashioned story
That Grandfather used to relate,
Of a joiner and building contractor;
'Is name, it were Sam Oglethwaite.
In a shop on the banks of the Irwell,
Old Sam used to follow 'is trade,
In a place you'll have 'eard of, called Bury;
You know, where black puddings is made.
One day, Sam were filling a knot 'ole
Wi' putty, when in thro' the door
Came an old feller fair wreathed wi' whiskers;
T'ould chap said 'Good morning, I'm Noah.'
Sam asked Noah what was 'is business,
And t'ould chap went on to remark,
That not liking the look of the weather,
'E were thinking of building an Ark.
'E'd gotten the wood for the bulwarks,
And all t'other shipbuilding junk,
And wanted some nice Bird's Eye Maple
To panel the side of 'is bunk.
Now Maple were Sam's Monopoly;
That means it were all 'is to cut,
And nobody else 'adn't got none;
So 'e asked Noah three ha'pence a foot.
'A ha'penny too much,' replied Noah
'A Penny a foot's more the mark;
A penny a foot, and when t'rain comes,
I'll give you a ride in me Ark.'
But neither would budge in the bargain;
The whole daft thing were kind of a jam,
So Sam put 'is tongue out at Noah,
And Noah made 'Long Bacon ' at Sam
In wrath and ill-feeling they parted,
Not knowing when they'd meet again,
And Sam had forgot all about it,
'Til one day it started to rain.
It rained and it rained for a fortni't,
And flooded the 'ole countryside.
It rained and it kept' on raining,
'Til the Irwell were fifty mile wide.
The 'ouses were soon under water,
And folks to the roof 'ad to climb.
They said 'twas the rottenest summer
That Bury 'ad 'ad for some time.
The rain showed no sign of abating,
And water rose hour by hour,
'Til the only dry land were at Blackpool,
And that were on top of the Tower.
So Sam started swimming to Blackpool;
It took 'im best part of a week.
'Is clothes were wet through when 'e got there,
And 'is boots were beginning to leak.
'E stood to 'is watch-chain in water,
On Tower top, just before dark,
When who should come sailing towards 'im
But old Noah, steering 'is Ark.
They stared at each other in silence,
'Til Ark were alongside, all but,
Then Noah said: 'What price yer Maple?'
Sam answered 'Three ha'pence a foot.'
Noah said 'Nay; I'll make thee an offer,
The same as I did t'other day.
A penny a foot and a free ride.
Now, come on, lad, what does tha say?'
'Three ha'pence a foot,' came the answer.
So Noah 'is sail 'ad to hoist,
And sailed off again in a dudgeon,
While Sam stood determined, but moist.
Noah cruised around, flying 'is pigeons,
'Til fortieth day of the wet,
And on 'is way back, passing Blackpool,
'E saw old Sam standing there yet.
'Is chin just stuck out of the water;
A comical figure 'e cut,
Noah said: 'Now what's the price of yer Maple?'
Sam answered: 'Three ha'pence a foot.'
Said Noah: 'Ye'd best take my offer;
It's last time I'll be hereabout;
And if water comes half an inch higher,
I'll happen get Maple for nowt.'
'Three ha'pence a foot it'll cost yer,
And as fer me,' Sam said, 'don't fret.
The sky's took a turn since this morning;
I think it'll brighten up yet.'
poem by Marriott Edgar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
Noah
When old Noah stared across the floods,
Sky and water melted into one
Looking-glass of shifting tides and sun.
Mountain-tops were few: the ship was foul:
All the morn old Noah marvelled greatly
At this weltering world that shone so stately,
Drowning deep the rivers and the plains.
Through the stillness came a rippling breeze;
Noah sighed, remembering the green trees.
Clear along the morning stooped a bird,—
Lit beside him with a blossomed sprig.
Earth was saved; and Noah danced a jig.
poem by Siegfried Sassoon
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Wine and Water
Old Noah he had an ostrich farm and fowls on the largest scale,
He ate his egg with a ladle in a egg-cup big as a pail,
And the soup he took was Elephant Soup and fish he took was Whale,
But they all were small to the cellar he took when he set out to sail,
And Noah he often said to his wife when he sat down to dine,
"I don't care where the water goes if it doesn't get into the wine."
The cataract of the cliff of heaven fell blinding off the brink
As if it would wash the stars away as suds go down a sink,
The seven heavens came roaring down for the throats of hell to drink,
And Noah he cocked his eye and said, "It looks like rain, I think,
The water has drowned the Matterhorn as deep as a Mendip mine,
But I don't care where the water goes if it doesn't get into the wine."
But Noah he sinned, and we have sinned; on tipsy feet we trod,
Till a great big black teetotaller was sent to us for a rod,
And you can't get wine at a P.S.A., or chapel, or Eisteddfod,
For the Curse of Water has come again because of the wrath of God,
And water is on the Bishop's board and the Higher Thinker's shrine,
But I don't care where the water goes if it doesn't get into the wine.
poem by G.K. Chesterton
Submitted by Dan Costinaş
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Wine and Water
Old Noah he had an ostrich farm and fowls on the largest scale,
He ate his egg with a ladle in a egg-cup big as a pail,
And the soup he took was Elephant Soup and fish he took was Whale,
But they all were small to the cellar he took when he set out to sail,
And Noah he often said to his wife when he sat down to dine,
"I don't care where the water goes if it doesn't get into the wine."
The cataract of the cliff of heaven fell blinding off the brink
As if it would wash the stars away as suds go down a sink,
The seven heavens came roaring down for the throats of hell to drink,
And Noah he cocked his eye and said, "It looks like rain, I think,
The water has drowned the Matterhorn as deep as a Mendip mine,
But I don't care where the water goes if it doesn't get into the wine."
But Noah he sinned, and we have sinned; on tipsy feet we trod,
Till a great big black teetotaller was sent to us for a rod,
And you can't get wine at a P.S.A., or chapel, or Eisteddfod,
For the Curse of Water has come again because of the wrath of God,
And water is on the Bishop's board and the Higher Thinker's shrine,
But I don't care where the water goes if it doesn't get into the wine.
poem by G.K. Chesterton
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Wine and Water
Old Noah he had an ostrich farm and fowls on the largest scale,
He ate his egg with a ladle in a egg-cup big as a pail,
And the soup he took was Elephant Soup and fish he took was Whale,
But they all were small to the cellar he took when he set out to sail,
And Noah he often said to his wife when he sat down to dine,
"I don't care where the water goes if it doesn't get into the wine."
The cataract of the cliff of heaven fell blinding off the brink
As if it would wash the stars away as suds go down a sink,
The seven heavens came roaring down for the throats of hell to drink,
And Noah he cocked his eye and said, "It looks like rain, I think,
The water has drowned the Matterhorn as deep as a Mendip mine,
But I don't care where the water goes if it doesn't get into the wine."
But Noah he sinned, and we have sinned; on tipsy feet we trod,
Till a great big black teetotaller was sent to us for a rod,
And you can't get wine at a P.S.A., or chapel, or Eisteddfod,
For the Curse of Water has come again because of the wrath of God,
And water is on the Bishop's board and the Higher Thinker's shrine,
But I don't care where the water goes if it doesn't get into the wine.
poem by Gilbert Keith Chesterton
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Biggest Flood
The Biggest Flood
Pakistan, the biggest flood ever recorded the newscaster tells me,
has he forgotten about the biblical flood and Noah?
I could be that after years of flooding in Noahland that he got
the idea of building a boat, big enough for his family and cattle.
Of course his neighbours thought he had lost it, his sons too were
skeptical but helped their father building a wide hulled boat;
in the inn at night they often got into fist fights, when funny
remarks were made about their father’s crazy venture.
After weeks of rain he boarded and boat and it didn’t sink.
When the rain stopped and the sky was clear all Noah could see
was water everywhere. Not a navigator Noah just drifted about
hoping to find land; and as water level fell he hit a reef which
turned out to be a grassy mountain slope. The biblical story is
certainly true, if it isn’t it is still worth thinking about its wisdom.
poem by Oskar Hansen
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The 'Ole in the Ark
One evening at dusk as Noah stood on his Ark,
Putting green oil in starboard side lamp,
His wife came along and said, 'Noah, summat's wrong,
Our cabin is getting quite damp.
Noah said, 'Is that so?' Then he went down below,
And found it were right what she'd said,
For there on the floor quite a puddle he saw,
It was slopping around under t' bed.
Said he, 'There's an 'ole in the bottom somewhere,
We must find it before we retire.'
Then he thowt for a bit, and he said 'Aye, that's it,
A bloodhound is what we require.'
Se he went and fetched bloodhound from place where it lay,
'Tween the skunk and the polecat it were,
And as things there below, were a trifle so-so,
It were glad of a breath of fresh air.
They followed the hound as it went sniffing round,
'Til at last they located the leak,
'Twere a small hole in the side, about two inches wide,
Where a swordfish had poked in its beak.
And by gum! how the wet squirted in through that hole,
Well, young Shem who at sums was expert,
Worked it out on his slate that it came at the rate,
Of per gallon, per second, per squirt.
The bloodhound tried hard to keep water in check,
By lapping it up with his tongue,
But it came in so fast through that hole, that at last,
He shoved in his nose for a bung.
The poor faithful hound, he were very near drowned,
They dragged him away none too soon,
For the stream as it rose, pushed its way up his nose,
And blew him up like a balloon.
And then Mrs Noah shoved her elbow in t'hole,
And said,' Eh! it's stopped I believe,'
But they found very soon as she'd altered her tune,
For the water had got up her sleeve.
When she saw as her elbow weren't doing much good,
She said to Noah, 'I've an idea,
You sit on the leak and by t'end of the week,
There's no knowing, the weather may clear.'
Noah didn't think much to this notion, at all,
But reckoned he'd give it a try,
On the 'ole down he flopped, and the leaking all stopped,
And all... except him, was quite dry.
They took him his breakfast and dinner and tea,
As day after day there he sat,
'Til the rain was all passed and they landed at last,
On top side of Mount Ararat.
And that is how Noah got them all safe ashore,
But ever since then, strange to tell,
Them as helped save the Ark has all carried a mark,
Aye, and all their descendants as well.
That's why dog has a cold nose, and ladies cold elbows,
You'll also find if you enquire,
That's why a man takes his coat tails in hand,
And stands with his back to the fire.
poem by Marriott Edgar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I came here as a man of visions. I was sent here as a man of visions, like a second Noah. I'm not a Noah but I'm here as a second Noah. I'm here as a red light is in the street.
quote by Howard Finster
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Unicorn
A long time ago, when the earth was green
and there was more kinds of animals than you've ever seen,
and they run around free while the world was bein' born,
and the lovliest of all was the Unicorn.
There was green alligators and long-neck geese.
There was humpy bumpy camels and chimpanzees.
There was catsandratsandelephants, but sure as you're born
the lovliest of all was the Unicorn.
But the Lord seen some sinnin', and it caused him pain.
He says, 'Stand back, I'm gonna make it rain.'
He says, 'Hey Brother Noah, I'll tell ya whatcha do.
Go and build me a floatin' zoo.
And you take two alligators and a couple of geese,
two humpy bumpy camels and two chimpanzees.
Take two catsandratsandelephants, but sure as you're born,
Noah, don't you forget my Unicorn.'
Now Noah was there, he answered the callin'
and he finished up the ark just as the rain was fallin'.
He marched in the animals two by two,
and he called out as they went through,
'Hey Lord, I got your two alligators and your couple of geese,
your humpy bumpy camels and your chimpanzees.
Got your catsandratsandelephants - but Lord, I'm so forlorn
'cause I just don't see no Unicorn.'
Ol' Noah looked out through the drivin' rain
but the Unicorns were hidin', playin' silly games.
They were kickin' and splashin' in the misty morn,
oh them silly Unicorn.
The the goat started goatin', and the snake started snakin',
the elephant started elephantin', and the boat started shaking'.
The mouse started squeakin', and the lion started roarin',
and everyone's abourd but the Unicorn.
I mean the green alligators and the long-neck geese,
the humpy bumpy camels and the chimpanzees.
Noah cried, 'Close the door 'cause the rain is pourin' -
and we just can't wait for them Unicorn.'
Then the ark started movin', and it drifted with the tide,
and the Unicorns looked up from the rock and cried.
And the water come up and sort of floated them away -
that's why you've never seen a Unicorn to this day.
You'll see a lot of alligators and a whole mess of geese.
You'll see humpy bumpy camels and lots of chimpanzees.
You'll see catsandratsandelephants, but sure as you're born
you're never gonna see no Unicorn
poem by Sheldon Allan Silverstein
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Peanuts [trailer 3]
Francesca Capaldi, Noah Schnapp, Bill Melendez, Mariel Sheets, Venus Schultheis, Noah Johnston, Hadley Belle Miller, Madisyn Shipman
The Peanuts [trailer 4]
Francesca Capaldi, Madisyn Shipman, Noah Schnapp, Mariel Sheets, Venus Schultheis, Hadley Belle Miller, Bill Melendez, Alexander Garfin, Noah Johnston
from The Peanuts (2015)
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Left Far Behind
'Woe-Man'! And woman came out of man;
'Wo-man', and the child came out of woman;
All from one source to bring out many,
But many are still left far behind!
How can i cry when this world is full of sin?
Like the days of Noah;
Yet stil, many do claim that they are wiser than others.
How can i sing a love song when there are many fools around me?
Yet still, many do claim that they are wiser than others;
But, our ways are like the days of Noah.
One takes a bomb and kills the other,
One steals from another and then he or she is joyful after theft!
Yes, many love the taste of sin and,
We are all living like in the days of Noah.
'Woe-Man'! ! Woe to man with his many sins;
For we are left far behind from the truth.
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Don't confuse having less with being less, having more with being more, or what you have with who you are.
Noah benShea in Noah benShea’s Ten Tips for Tough Times (2009)
Submitted by Dan Costinaş
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If It Don't Take Two
It takes two to tango
And two lips to seal a kiss
But a flame and a candle
Won't burn on a night like this
If it don't take two
It takes two to go one way
And two winds to be strong enough
But you can't sail on a still day
Like two ships on a sea of love
If it don't take two
Noah knew what he had to do
Ooh oh yeah
He sent us out in the world walkin' two by two
Oh...
If it don't take two
If it don't take two
If it don't take two
And if I'm not with you
No it ain't worth goin' through
If it don't take two
It takes two hearts with one beat
And it takes two to say I do
But the champagne won't taste sweet
And the dream just won't come true
If it don't take two
Noah knew what he had to do
song performed by by Shania Twain from Woman In Me
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Like The Days Of Noah
Like the days of Noah,
So shall it be my friends;
Stop! Look! ! Listen! ! !
Out of two came many,
And out of eight came the multitude of all generations!
The vision of visions and the creation of creations,
From Adam and Eve to the days of Noah;
Down to the Niles of Egypt of the Pharaohs,
Like fromUr to Rome to all the descendants of mankind.
Come my people and,
Stop, look and read!
Roses are red and violets are blue;
But my love is whiter than the mixer of the two.
Watch!
Fot the hour comes when you can't even take up your purse;
Stop! Look! ! Listen! ! !
Two of the many and eight of the multitude,
For the days are closer than ever before.
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Hello, Goodbye
Wheres the navigator of your destiny?
Where is the dealer of this hand?
Who can explain life and its brevity
cause there is nothing here that I can understand
You and I have barely met
And I just dont want to let go of you yet
Chorus:
Noah, hello, goodbye
I will see you on the other side
Noah, sweet child of mine
I will see you on the other side
And so I hold your tiny hand in mine
For the hardest thing Ive ever had to face
Heaven calls for you before it calls for me
When you get there, save me a place
A place where I can share your smile
And I can hold you for more than just a while
Chorus
song performed by by Michael W. Smith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I Saw An Old Image In My Mind - Noah's Ark
I saw an old image of my mind Noah's Ark
Fading in the wilderness of the sky
I touched the land with my dreams
And nothing I knew said it was real-
I heard the sounds of songs of delight
And remembered the Creator in the days of my youth-
I listened to the poems long in the hearing time of my mind
And I waited as I wondered why and we are all destinies not struggling to be free-
I thought I lived
They were branches of other trees
An old man’s folly can never capture -
The first wonder of an infant eyeing through branches the lips of the sky -
We are wonders and dreamings and seemings and always being beyond what we are not-
And when our lives are done in this last world
God who made branches and trees and Noah’s ark and the leaves of the first land
Will remember to make us see again,
As if we were always Light and more Light and Still more Light
Heading out again through another lost wilderness.
poem by Shalom Freedman
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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At one time, I was persuaded to want to make music, and people answered me that that was not possible.
quote by Yannick Noah
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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As The Rain Falls
Friend as the rain begins to pour, its adverse effects we endure.
For the rains, they will not last, as the sun breaks the overcast.
However, all the rain has a worth, as it replenishes a dry earth.
Those rains so heavy as they fall, soon trickle to no rain at all.
We have showers in life as well, but as they fall no one can tell.
In our showers instead of rain, poured upon us is trial and pain.
In a trial, our heart may bleed, but like the rain, they fill a need,
To make us all more like Christ, as He molds us for Eternal Life.
Like the rains when they pour, trials are controlled by The Lord.
However trials get their start, they are used to shape our heart.
And much like the rains friend, all of our trials will have an end.
Though they come with grief, in God’s time, they’re rather brief.
When the rains begin to slow, at times we’ll see God’s rainbow.
It is the promise put in the sky, by The Lord who reigns on high,
To never again destroy the world, with the flood He had unfurled.
A promise given to Noah friend; a righteous example to all men.
Noah heard God and believed; God’s Righteousness he received.
When God judges the earth again, He will save all righteous men.
A Righteousness found in Christ, Who came to be God’s sacrifice.
When in Christ we do believe, His Righteousness we then receive.
Beyond the promise Noah received, we get more when we believe,
With our hope in Jesus Christ, comes an end to the rains of strife.
All who believe in Jesus Christ, are promised by Him Eternal Life.
With an end to all temporal pain, as we, with Him, Eternally Reign.
Dedication
Well way back in the Bible time
A cat named noah built an ocean liner
Everybody laughed when they told him why
But when the rain came, noah was high and dry
cause he had
Dedication baby through and through
Dedication like I give to you
Dedication girl every way
Dedication girl every day
Well admiral byrd and some eskimos
They took a little trip to the old north pole
When they said it was a miracle they made it back
Well they said that wasnt any miracle, jack
Dedication baby through and through
Dedication like I give to you
Dedication girl every way
Dedication girl every day
Well now there was a movie star out in hollywood
He met a little girl, they got along real good
He tried to split but the chick said buddy, not so fast
Aint gonna wrap me on your arms, then wrap me in some cash
Now it was on tv every word they said
If you didnt see it man, you must have been late
She got on the witness pedestal without care
She turned to the judge and this is what she said
Dedication judge every way
Dedication judge in every way
I need some
Dedication judge that cant be spent
A little dedication judge to pay the rent
Dedication baby through and through
Dedication like I give to you
Dedication girl every way
Dedication girl every day
D-e-d-i-c-a-t-i-o-n
D-e-d-i-c-a-t-i-o-n
D-e-d-i-c-a-t-i-o-n
song performed by by Bruce Springsteen
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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7 Plus 1
The Arch of Noah saved only sven people plus himself,
So do take up the census to understand this poem;
For many are called but few are chosen!
Think about the flood,
'7 plus 1' people were saved after the heavy rainfall!
And Noah came out plus the seven others;
But i am a refugee today escaping from the stray bullets of life.
Mind over matter in the bed room of love,
And completely out of the ordinary with motivations;
But my imaginations can move mountains!
And, like the love of the muse of the flood!
'7 plus 1' quals to '8',
And eight people were saved from the Arch!
But let us try to understand the ways of the Creator;
For many are called and few are chosen!
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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