Spectacular Failure
Ran into the office this morning to confess
the French mess to Hanlie, my Stoic Spartan
colleague, as I started to tell her of the chaos
in class – my passionate explanation why
Dominique Strauss-Kahn thought Tristane
Banon came to him with a mysterious plan
Given the title of her book “Male Mistakes”*
immediately suggesting he should illustrate
what it meant, given his fling with Tristane’s
mother, Anne Mansouret, he did not know
Tristane was never told, he thought Tristane
wanted to see his Cro-Magnon approach -
Marine confused; sweet Rima scared; Marius
angered by Strauss-Kahn’s lack of respect for
women and ethics, disorder obscuring the
brilliant explanation of incomprehensible
events, Hanlie laughed with me about my
spectacular failure to communicate….
Anne Mansouret never told her daughter,
Tristane Banon, that she had a wild fling
with Dominique Strauss-Khan; so when
her daughter approached Khan with a
suggestive title for a book, he thought
she wanted to taste the same forbidden
fruit, totally unaware she never knew
about the wild side of life…
poem by Margaret Alice Second
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Related quotes
So Incoherent
French class a total disaster, I was incoherent,
trying to vent passionate anger about the issue
of Dominique Strauss-Kahn - Tristane Banon
and her celebrated mother, Anne Mansouret
who actually named Tristane ‘Anne-Caroline ‘
she later changed her name, the absent mother
sighed; Tristane only remembers a nanny who
hit her – Anne told her not to press charges
against Dominique at the time, Anne revealed too
late that she had relations with Kahn herself, and
violent too – allowing her daughter to remain in
the dark, Tristane went to him with a provocative
title which invited dramatic violence in illustration
of male aggression; he assumed daughter knew
of the mother’s relations with him - naming her
daughter after herself led to Tristane reliving
her mother’s mistake - but my presentation to
explain Kahn’s callous attitude fell through -
I was so incoherent…
[Tristane Bannon wrote a book, still to be
published, about politicians called “Erreurs
avouées, au masculin” inviting speculation
from Strauss-Kahn that she was au courant
re. her mother’s doings, her mother is Anne
Mansouret - and Dominique Strauss-Kahn
is awaiting trial in the USA - charged with
violence against a Guinean immigrant,
Nafissatou Diallo]
poem by Margaret Alice Second
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En Un Mot – Merveilleuse!
Aujourd’hui la classe de française était merveilleuse
les actualités, la sécheresse et la famine en Somalie
et l’Ethiopie - et une message qu’il y a suffisamment
de nourriture sur la terre aujourd’hui pour nourrir
chaque être humain
L’Afrique qui pourrait être le grenier du monde, mais
les famines se produisent par la guerre et de privations
orchestrées - l’Afrique est le continent des famines
pour créer un spectacle pour faire venir l’aide
internationale; et Charlene
D’Afrique du Sud a fait trois tentatives de fuite parce
Prince Albert de Monaco ont deux autres enfants - et
Dominique Strauss Khann a aussi fait une victime
d’agression de Tristane Banon - l’armée du Sud-
Soudan a suscite
Des accusations de massacres et de viols, le loi de
protection de l’information: 'contre le journalisme
d’investigation' n’est pas accepte ici dans l’Afrique
du Sud - et le Kremlin s’intéresse dans la décision
de l’Union Africaine
De ne pas appliquer le mandat d’arrêt de la Cour
pénale internationale contre le colonel Kadhafi –
François Mitterrand s’acoquina avec les vieilles
oligarchies - olé! La classe de Marine Bigot était
en un mot – merveilleuse!
poem by Margaret Alice Second
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Every Christian Lion Hearted Man Will Show You
Oh solo Dominique
Oh solo Dominique
Oh solo Dominique
Oh solo Dominique
Take this in hand
Said he who stands
Behind the chair
A broken table there
Every Christian lion hearted man will show you
Every Christian lion hearted man will show you
Oh solo Dominique
Oh solo Dominique
Oh solo Dominique
Oh solo Dominique
Don't walk so tall
Before you crawl
For every child
Is thinking of something wild
Every Christian lion hearted man will show you
Every Christian lion hearted man will show you
Oh solo Dominique
Oh solo Dominique
Oh solo Dominique
Every Christian lion hearted man will show you
Every Christian lion hearted man will show you (will show you)
Oh solo Dominique
Oh solo Dominique
Oh solo Dominique
song performed by by Bee Gees from Bee Gees 1st
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Don't Mess With My Love
I thought you were a friend of mine but I was wrong
You tried to fit into the arms where I belong
You moved right in behind my back
Everyone knows friends don't do that
I thought you were somebody I could trust
You always said you were happy for us
How could you go and break my heart?
When you knew all along he was mine from the start
He is everything to me
And you know we're meant to be
He's my baby
Don't mess with my love
Take everything I own
Ooh just leave that boy alone
He's my baby
Don't mess with my
Mess with my love
Don't mess with my love
You came right over and looked in my eyes
You said the stories were rumors and lies
And I wish I could believe in you
But I'm sorry to say he told me the truth
He is everything to me
And you know we're meant to be
He's my baby
Don't mess with my love
Take everything I own
Ooh just leave that boy alone
He's my baby
Don't mess with my
Mess with my love
Don't mess with my love
[BRIDGE]
Friends don't do what you do
There's no excuse
I'm so confused
I thought you cared about me
But now I see
All you care about is you
He is everything to me
And you know we're meant to be
He's my baby
Don't mess with my love
Take everything I own
Ooh just leave that boy alone
He's my baby
Don't mess with my
Mess with my love
Don't mess with my love
song performed by by M2M from Shades Of Purple
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I Thought I Told You That (feat. Faith Evans)
Theres a boy that Im into, hes so fly, so cute
I dreamt of, him every night, he had me, on cloud nine
Thought I could trust him, why?, he said to me when I needed him
He was there for me, then I found out he did the same
For every girl, with a pretty face
I just wanted to believe that
He was so innocent, so sweet
He did everything for me and
People told me all along, he was wrong
But I was so naive
Dont let him do to you what he did to me
Thought I told you that, he would break your heart
He was no good for you, from the start
Thought I told you that, he had another girl
Youre not the only woman in his world
Thought I told you that, he would make you cry
I dont see how you believe his lie
Thought I told you that, I hate to say that I told you so
Take it from me, you better leave him alone
He played me the whole time, thats why Im warning you
Im not the jealous type
cause Ive already been there done that
And nothing that he says will make me want him back
It does matter what he sends me
A dozen flowers or a diamond thats bling bling
Its all good but Im not the one to be staying home while hes having fun
I just wanted to believe that
He was so innocent, so sweet
He did everything for me and
People told me all along, he was wrong
But I was so naive
Dont let him do to you what he did to me
Thought I told you that, he would break your heart
He was no good for you, from the start
Thought I told you that, he had another girl
Youre not the only woman in his world
Thought i told you that, he would make you cry
I dont see how you believe his lie
Thought I told you that, I hate to say that I told you so
Take it from me, you better leave him alone
Girlfriend, Im just trying to make you see
That its not about you, its not about me
You cant let him get the best of you this way
You gotta love yourself and just walk away
Thought I told you that, he would break your heart
He was no good for you, from the start
Thought I told you that, he had another girl
Youre not the only woman in his world
Thought I told you that, he would make you cry
I dont see how you believe his lie
Thought I told you that, I hate to say that I told you so
Take it from me, you better leave him alone
Thought I told you that, he would break your heart
He was no good for you, from the start
Thought I told you that, he had another girl
Youre not the only woman in his world
Thought I told you that, he would make you cry
I dont see how you believe his lie
Thought I told you that, I hate to say that I told you so
Take it from me, you better leave him alone
song performed by by Anastacia
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Shrinking (Revised)
Why does a conversational ploy that charms
one colleague fall flat on its face for others?
When I enact a little tragi-comedy for Hanlie
she embroiders the tales I tell, brings out the
hidden glitter in every situation and adds joy
by weaving her wan spell -
but when I share the same anecdote with
other colleagues my story loses its appeal,
I feel guilt and fatigue, and the story shrivels
up and dies; a more robust, feisty colleague
simply kills the story by pulling down corners
of her mouth -
thus, with Hanlie on leave, I already know
why life at work keeps shrinking
poem by Margaret Alice Second
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Secrets
I told her all my secrets.
Once started they came out almost by themselves and she acted so enchanted it was easy to just keep going on and on.
I told her about my first kiss, about my stealing grapes from the grocery store, one grape, is all it was, but I never forgot taking it. I told her about the time I told a lie to make myself seem more important than I was.
I had never been to Russia. But I said I did to impress my friends. I told her of times I had been quiet when I should have spoken up, of that moment of cowardice when I should have helped my friend when the gang caught us. I didn't help. I ran and they caught him. I didn't go back to help.
I revealed what I think about at night when I am going to sleep, my little vanities and self-deceptions because they seem harmless. I told her about the little mean things I've done and the day I learned that you could lie if it was small one and it kept someone from feeling hurt; of the secret anxieties i felt and the loves I lost and never knew why, of how I worry about being in shape all the time and the times in my twenties when I looked everywhere in faces on the street, in magazines, among strangers asking myself are you The One? I told her that quest never ended-I simply shortened the voyage because long quests can be tiring.
I told her of my secret desire to impress her by telling her my secrets; no pretending to tell her secrets so as to get her to tell me her secrets and this was my ultimate secret which, of course was no secret at all, since I told.
She laughed saying 'I know but the gesture, I thought was sweet.'
So, I said, 'Do you have pretend secrets for me? ' 'Sure, ' she said, 'but I will mix in the telling some real ones, like you did, and we can then both guess which ones were true. A little mystery never hurt anyone.'
So she began to reciprocate tellling me her first kiss was through a screen door and her mother asked what was wrong with her lips, about never realizing until she was ten that it went in... there.. About the shock of all of it. About the time she saw her mother and dad doing it. She told me about the first time which was very very short, and the boy who was afraid and fumbly. About her first push-em-bra and lace underthings she bought at Victoria's Secret and the party where some one felt her up in the dark and she let him. About her belief that she had lived in some previous life and remembered bits and pieces of it.
About how she thought when getting her period that she was dying and didn't tell anyone until her mother discovered the blood. Her first boy friend who was sweet and a virgin and so was she. She thought you could get pregnant from tonguing when kissing; about her first O and how it scared her; how she looked in the mirror afterwards to she if she had changed; about how scared she was when it came time to deliver the baby.
We talked for hours, mostly about the secrets but ultimately we started to share dreams. She wanted to be a ballerina but had to give it up. I wanted to be a sports star, but too short. We share dreams gains and lost, mostly lost, given up for a good job or the quest for one or for family and kids.
From that first 'she called my number by mistake call' we call once a year, in secret of course, and share some more. We've never met. Don't need to. I already know all her secrets and she knows mine.
poem by Lonnie Hicks
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In Glorious Removal
I adorned my life with chaos,
Wanting to fit in!
Wanting to be just like the 'Jones'
With constant arguing that would never end!
I wanted to feel accepted,
So I gossiped with the rest.
I thought I had to dislike someone,
Because my 'friends' thought 'that' was best!
I wanted to pretend my needs were satisfied.
And at home alone I knew I was not...
And alone with 'things' I cried!
Deep inside I was tied up in knots,
A lot!
Well...
It's a new day.
And some 'crap' I cleared away!
Including some folks I thought were close,
To live my life my way!
The only thing I regret,
As I sit in retrospect...
Is the misery grieved by the few who believe,
The life I live they have to inspect and accept!
And I've told them I'm not seeking
Anyone's approval!
In fact...
I've discovered myself again,
Sustained in glorious 'BS' removal!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Charles and I go back since college. None of us thought this would happen, we just wanted to play basketball. This is the highest honor that can ever be paid, and it's mind-blowing.
quote by Dominique Wilkins
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Life Changes
I always thought life would be
just as I wanted it for me.
I just let it happen without a plan
and I would proceed as I began.
The unexpected changes came along,
unprepared for them like notes with no song.
The growth came slowly on every day
and routine tasks paved my way.
I stumbled more times than just a few.
But no one's pavement is a smooth walk through.
You carry the cross placed on your shouder.
You carry it begrudgingly until you're older.
Then age is upon you and I, for one
decided not to finish as I'd begun.
I started to plan and involve myself
like a mystery book that leaves the shelf.
The pages of my book are what I need
to turn and show me how to proceed.
How the book ends I do not know
but a good mystery book will never show
how the story ends. It surprises you.
That's how I'll be until I'm through.
poem by Edwina Reizer
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Cresting Wave Upon Wave
How do I thank someone
who defended me against
a bully, how express my
gratitude and joy when
someone beautiful, with
a sweet disposition - so
mischievous and brilliant -
takes my side
Do I jump up and down -
shine with the sun, smile
at everyone, sing a song
or meditate on the delight
of a most accomplished
and intelligent, attractive
and wonderful person
Fighting for my rights -
how convey my thanks
in terms that would do
credit to her, how do I
describe a kindness
that fills my heart?
Thank you Hanlie
does not seem
to be enough…
With Hanlie Sonnekus as captain,
June Fredericks as steersman,
Hermien Liebenberg as bo'sun
and me as sailor, our ship is
cresting wave upon wave
poem by Margaret Alice Second
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Everybody Laughed But You
Everybody laughed when I told them
I wanted you, I wanted you
Everybody grinned they humoured me
They thought that someone had spiked my tea
Everybody screamed they told me you
Would cost the moon, we'll be there soon
Everybody laughed till they were blue
They didn't believe my words were true
Everybody laughed but you
It's easy to lose touch with all the friends
You like so much or liked so much
Everybody laughed they couldn't take me seriously
Abandoned me
Sometimes I would read of things they'd done in magazines
They made the scene
Everybody left with such important things to do
But I'm not blue
Everybody left but you
Everybody left but you
Many years have passed
And some have fallen by the way I heard them say
Everybody dreamed but those who fell
Are sleeping now, they're sleeping now
Everybody climbed like ivy to the top most branch
It was their chance
Everybody grasped till they were through
It's all they thought that they could do
Cause everybody fell
Everybody fell
Everybody fell but you
song performed by by Sting
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Angelic Me
My teacher told me to behave
But behaving’s what I never craved
She thought I acted too outlandish
Just being me was too out-Stan-dish
The girl’s pigtail in the inkwell soaked
How it got there was my little joke
I whistled when teacher turned her back
Music’s what our classroom lacked
To the principals’ office I was sent
It clearly became a daily event
She told him I was rude and frightful
Yet my friends in class thought me delightful
My mother when she came to school
He told her I was the classroom fool
She didn’t believe that awful man
Could say that of her angel Stan
Whistlers’ mother, she knew best
She knew her son was not a pest
So much to my teachers’ dismay
I was back in class the very next day
The inkwell reclaimed that girls’ pigtail
The teacher warned, but to no avail
Behind back whistles, once more the norm
Angelic me was back in form
poem by Stanley Cooper
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See The Sun
Trying to press
What you might be feeling
Why suppress
What you might be needing
You missed the moon on monday morning
You were lying in your sin
You missed the moon on monday morning
Because you dont mean anything to anyone, anymore
Why confess
Well you wouldnt need to
Because on your desk
Theres more to be seen to
By the time just keep on ticking
Until I get my sweet release
By the time just keep on winding
Until this cold-stop has ceased
And everyone can see the sun
Ive send underwater, slept with your daughter
She told me what your rule book read
Ive been to the slaughter, slept with your daughter
So wont you let me have my head
And then I can see the sun
You missed the moon on monday morning
You were lying in your sin
You missed the moon on monday morning
Because you dont mean anything to anyone, anymore
By the time just keep on ticking
Until I get my sweet release
And down this road Ill keep on winding
Until this cold-stop has ceased
And everyone can see the sun
Everyone can see the sun
Everyone can see the sun
Everyone can see the sun
Ive send underwater, slept with your daughter
She told me what your rule book read
Ive been to the slaughter, slept with your daughter
So wont you let me have my head
And then I can see the sun
song performed by by Oasis
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If I Told You That
Now tell me how you feel if I told
You that I have feelings for you
Ansd would it be so wrong to say
Whats on my mind
Im sorry I have to
We were friends but with time
What I feel inside for you has changed
But Id give up on love, if I thought
That it was untrue for you
(if I told you that) I wanted to see you
(and if I told you that) I beg to please you
(if I told you that) Ill always keep you
What would you say (if I told you that)
I know that we were just friends
But what if I decide to bring somethings in
I hope it wont offend the trust
We have cause I dont want this to end
I you think that well lose what we have
Then Id just rather stay (rather stay) the same
(Id rather stay the same)
Cause I dont wanna choose
Between two of the most precious things to me
(tell me)
(if I told you that) I wanted to see you
(and if I told you that) I beg to please you
(if I told you that) Ill always keep you
What would you say (if I told you that)
If we take this chance and extend
To each other romance
I hope it would be
The right thing for you and me
(if I told you that) I wanted to see you
(and if I told you that) I beg to please you
(if I told you that) Ill always keep you
What would you say (if I told you that)
Would you be there for me
Could you dare to hold me
Will my feelings leave me
Lonely if I told you
song performed by by Whitney Houston
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I've Been Doing This Most Of My Life
'I never thought you were that serious.'
About what?
Serious about what?
'That which you do.'
Please.
I have no time for riddles.
What are you talking about?
'Your writing.'
I 'keep' telling you,
I've been doing this most of my life.
Almost 60 years now.
'Lies!
That's impossible.
I thought you told me you were in your late 40's? '
You see...
Even I am confused.
That's how long it has been.
When I was then a mere child,
In the mid...
'70's? '
70's? ? ?
Are you kidding?
I've been doing this...much...
You know?
You are right!
I write so much...
I forget!
It's 2011 isn't it?
I am so glad you are here.
God works in mysterious ways.
It just seems as if,
I've been doing this much, much longer.
'I know it was in the '70's' because I remember,
You told me your oldest sister, Mimmie...
Believes she is your mother sometimes.'
LOLOLOL...
Yep!
That she does.
But...
Don't tell her.
She will 'never' forgive me for revealing her real age!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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All I wanted is for you to love me
All I wanted is for you to love me! ! ! !
She had her when she was only 15 years old, and her baby was so beautiful! many people told her that, and she smiled tho but! ! ! ! in the back of her mind she hated her child tho.From taking thee attention away that she craved! ! ! ! ! and she was thinking it will never be about her, but always about her so called beautiful daughter. Now as time went along her mother blamed her for the men that went away and didn't stay the mother claimed that men would say, that her child act so childish each and everyday that there developed a frown on the mother face like her daughter was the case that her men friends went away, but it was always how she miss treated her daughter in there faces like calling her Miss. little red **** In front of her male acquaintance and she would laugh! ! ! ! when they didn't think it was funny, she ask for them to leave, and they would say you crazy! ! ! If that was my baby you would regret the day you ever mat me. And when they left she start yelling at her baby telling her look what the **** you did again! ! ! ! Thee anger, the rage, the look she gave. She grabbed her baby slammed! ! ! ! ! her on her bottom in a chair and piece, by piece, start cutting her hair. Telling her you think your better then me! ! ! ! you think your prettier, then me, you red **** You think you can compete with me **** even tho she's only eight years old. Talked about her birthmark on her feet and said thats the start of you being ugly, and the daughter just cried! ! ! ! The mother said you make me do these things to you because you think you so got dam! ! ! beautiful.
Years later a history of events occurred thur out the years and now the daughter is now 15 and her mom hating on her body, that she covered up all the mirrors or gave them away so her daughter wouldn't be able to look at her face. What ever the daughter can see thur the mother trash that too the daughter asked why are you so mean and taking everything because this is mine **** you always think your cutter then me! ! ! You red ****you want to hit me so I can **** up your face! ! ! ! wearing your tight jeans acting like you so much better then me you red **** And the daughter didn't say a word she just looked at her and her mom responded you looking down on me and the daughter responded no! ! ! ! Then responded I should have gave you away when the doctor placed you in my ***** hand, and she went on to say that day I brought you home I should took your clothes off and left you in the cold! ! ! ! ! you red ***** should be thankful and grateful that I didn't do that **** to you I'm only telling you this for your own *** good! ! ! then her mom said you want to hit me don't you **** and the daughter responded no but I'm sad for you tho, that you couldn't be the mother I needed you to be, and it hurts it really hurts, and the mom responded **** you **** and the mom said what is that chair doing in your room! ! ! ! I just wanted you to love me. The daughter stood up in the chair the mom responded **** get down off my **** the daughter said I would never be loved by you the mother said you got that right! ! ! the daughter started to cry and the mom responded you ugly **** daughter went to her pocket grabbed the knife and cut her own wrist I had to do this JUST TO GET AWAY FRom you, you jealousy **** she smiled and fell to the floor bleeding to death. Then the mom started yelling noooooooooo my baby my beautiful baby girl! ! ! ! ! ! !
Clarence Williams of greater
poem by Clarence Williams
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Great Conductors
Hans Richter Parsifal did not conduct,
and to the National Gallery he never paid
a visit, but he showed Franz Strauss who never sucked
just how the horn in Meistersinger should be played.
Franz Strauss refused to play a second time
for Hans von Bülow Meistersinger’s second act;
Hans begged his pardon when Franz told him: “I’m
retiring, since you for the hornist show no tact.”
There is an incident reported about the premiere of Die Meistersinger von Nuremberg. The first version: during a rehearsal Strauss complained about the terrible demanding horn part, but Hans Richter, Wagner's secretary & former first horn at the Viennese Kaerntnerthor Theatre (Beethoven's Sonata op.17 had been premiered there; forerunner theatre of the Imperial Opera House) , was present & asked Strauss to lend him his horn & played the passage from the endings of the second act flawless, but giving the horn back with the comment With your B-flat-horn you will have difficulties always; the F-horn sounds much better.
I do not believe this anecdote to be true. Even an already warmed up horn player of excellent qualities might have difficulties with the Pruegelszene How can a conducter to be (Richter became the first world famous conductor; he led the first Ring in Bayreuth 1876) , who had not played his horn for a while, play this passage flawless without any warm-up. A myth only! Richter used this complain about B-flat horn also, when he conducted in Bayreuth. He recommended the use of the single F horn always. No wonder. He came from Vienna.
The second incident happened after the end of the dress rehearsal of Mastersingers. Hans von Bülow wanted to repeat the ending of the 2nd Act again, but Strauss refused to do so, telling von Bülow that he could not do it again, as being exhausted already. If you cant do it again, so you must better ask for retirement! , replied von Buelow to Strauss. But Strauss left the pit and asked the opera's administration for immediate retirement. So Hans von Bülow had to come to Strauss house at the Pschorr Estate, ask for pardon, which was granted, - so the premiere of Mastersingers was saved.
There is an incident reported about the premiere of Die Meistersinger von Nuremberg. The first version: during a rehearsal Strauss complained about the terrible demanding horn part, but Hans Richter, Wagner's secretary & former first horn at the Viennese Kaerntnerthor Theatre (Beethoven's Sonata op.17 had been premiered there; forerunner theatre of the Imperial Opera House) , was present & asked Strauss to lend him his horn & played the passage from the endings of the second act flawless, but giving the horn back with the comment With your B-flat-horn you will have difficulties always; the F-horn sounds much better.
I do not believe this anecdote to be true. Even an already warmed up horn player of excellent qualities might have difficulties with the Pruegelszene. How can a conductor to be (Richter became the first world famous conductor; he led the first Ring in Bayreuth 1876) , who had not played his horn for a while, play this passage flawless without any warm-up. A myth only! Richter used this complain about B-flat horn also, when he conducted in Bayreuth. He recommended the use of the single F horn always. No wonder. He came from Vienna.
The second incident happened after the end of the dress rehearsal of Mastersinger. Hans von Bülow wanted to repeat the ending of the 2nd Act again, but Strauss refused to do so, telling von Bülow that he could not do it again, as being exhausted already. If you can’t do it again you had better ask for retiremen! replied von Bülow to Strauss. But Strauss left the pit and asked the opera's administration for immediate retirement. So Hans von Bülow had to come to Strauss house at the Pschorr Estate, ask for pardon, which was granted, - so the premiere of Mastersingers was saved.
8/25/08
poem by Gershon Hepner
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Schneider Strauss
I vas all der country hunting for a man I vants to meet,
I vas bursting me to schlog him on der cop.
If mine hand I vonce can on him lay, I'll hit him mit mine feet
‘Till he'll neffer know vhich side of him vas top.
He vas "Dandy Pat from Ballarat", mit mighty gifts of gab,
Und he got me to insure me for mine house.
Put, py shinks, if I comes down on him, I'll schlog him mit a schlab
Till he von't some more tricks play mit Schneider Strauss.
I vas built mine house mit packing cases, roofed him in mit tin,
Mit a gutter for der vater, und a shpout;
Und suppose some leetle cracks der vas, vat let der vind come in,
Dere vas lots of pigger vons to let it out.
So efery night I drunk mine pipe und smoked mine lager peer,
Und I felt shoost most ash happy ash a mouse;
Till von efening apout two o'clock, a voice falls on mine ear,
Und it said, "Vas you dat man called Schneider Strauss?"
Und der voice vas dat insurance man. He coomed und sat him down
On a candle box, und talked like eferythings;
Py der vay der vords fell out of him, you'd bet a half-a-crown
Dat his tongue vas on a see-saw vorked mit shprings.
Und he talked apout insurances, und told me I could get
Lots of money if a fire purnt down mine house,
So I paid him down two pound ker-splash, und says to him,
"You bet,
Dat you von't find no plowflies catch on Schneider Strauss.
Dat insurance man he gafe me, vat you call, "a polisee",
Und I nearly laughed mine sides out mit der yoke.
In apout a veek, or sefen days - mine house -
Oh, vere vas he?
He vas gone; und dere vas notings left but smoke.
So der Gompany I vent to see, to get mine leetle bill,
Und I promised me a yolly big carouse;
But like forty tousand tons of boulders falling down a hill,
Did der troubles tumble down on Schneider Strauss.
Vhen der Gompany I seen he asked me vhat I was apout?
Und I told him I vas coomed to get some tin.
Put, he called a pig policeman und shouted "Roon him out."
Dey put me on a canvas suit, dey cut me off mine hair,
In some vater cold like ice, dey made me souse;
Und der shtones I vas preaking opp for six months, you can schvear
Dey vas not so bad proke up as Schneider Strauss.
Und mine house vas gone to plazes, und mine money vas gone too;
Dat insurance man - vhere he vas - who can tell?
Und mine polisee - mine lots of tin - vas gone clean oop der flue.
It vas turned to shmoke, und dat vas gone ash well.
Put, I vant dat nice insurance man, to schlog him on der cop,
If I dropp on him he'll vish he vas a mouse,
For I'll turn his outsides inside, till I bet I'll make him shtop
Playing paddymelon tricks mit Schneider Strauss.
poem by Thomas E. Spencer
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Yawcob Strauss
I Haf von funny leedle poy,
Vot gomes schust to mine knee;
Der queerest schap, der Greatest rogue,
As efer you dit see.
He runs, und schumps, and schmashes dings
In all barts off der house:
But vot off dot? he vas mine son,
Mine leedle Yawcob Strauss.
He get der measles und der mumbs,
Und eferyding dot's oudt;
He sbills mine glass off lager bier,
Foots schnuff indo mine kraut.
He fills mine pipe mit Limburg cheese,-
Dot vas der roughest chouse:
I'd dake dot vrom no oder poy
But leedle Yawcob Strauss.
He dakes der milk-ban for a dhrum,
Und cuts mine cane in dwo,
To make der schticks to beat it mit,
Mine cracious, dot vas drue!
I dinks mine hed vas schplit abart,
He kicks oup sooch a touse:
But nefer mind; der poys vas few
Like dot young Yawcob Strauss.
He asks me questions sooch as dese:
Who baints mine nose so red?
Who vas it cuts dot schmoodth blace oudt
Vrom der hair ubon mine hed?
Und vhere der plaze goes vrom der lamp
Vene'er der glim I douse.
How gan I all dose dings eggsblain
To dot schmall Yawcob Strauss ?
I somedimes dink I schall go vild
Mit sooch a grazy poy,
Und vish vonce more I gould haf rest,
Und beaceful dimes enshoy;
But ven he vas ashleep in ped,
So guiet as a mouse,
I prays der Lord," Dake anyding,
But leaf dot Yawcob Strauss."
poem by Charles Follen Adams from Yawcob Strauss and Other Poems
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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