Lack Of Haute Couture
Beware Sam Vimes; annoyed by a fantailer hat,
jodhpurs and a nervous smile; Sam took on the
legendary Jane Austen, author of world renowned
Pride and Prejudice, to reform her into a modern
writer, criticized the flimsy attire of her five girls
Sending them to Florence Nightingale nursing, open
a Milliner’s shop to put an end to their small talk, marry
Mr Collins the curate shunned by a fastidious Elizabeth
and deleting Mr Darcy; I must agree, Captain Carrot
lords it over all other hero’s in likeability, magical
powers and nobility to withstand pressure to become
king, though he knows his ancestry, being a superhero;
the intrepid commander sees nervous smiles as dead
giveaway of disagreeable intent and jodhpurs means
burgled silverware seen in trousers outlined in teapots
This offensive ensemble is described with inimitable
Pratchettian aplomb: ‘a presumably self-inflicted triple
misfortune’ - oh yes, I have also been caught wearing
self-inflicted triple - even quadruple - misfortunes of all
kinds, suffering from lack of haute couture
And I mean to go on suffering this way, it is much
more fun than being elegant all the time!
Snuff – Terry Pratchett, Doubleday 2011
pp.243,244
poem by Margaret Alice Second
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Related quotes
Emotional Upheaval
Only Terry Pratchett can be forgiven for irreverently sending
an unrefined Sam Vines into the pristine company of Pride
and Prejuduce - calling this classic a silly romance
Vimes launches into a diatribe against the stifling gentility that
held rich people enthralled within a useless existence, tells
author Jane Austen to write about
Corpses, murder and war – a cross between Mickey Spillane
and Margaret Mitchell; I love his advice about earning one’s
own keep leading to self-esteem
Enjoy the psychological tension Austen described –without
much action she creates more excitement and emotional
upheaval than Mike Hammer and
Scarlett O’Hara combined – only Wuthering Heights and
Jane Eyre can rival Jane Austen in making me
experience hallucinations!
Snuff – Terry Pratchett; Doubleday 2011
pp 69-72
poem by Margaret Alice Second
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Camouflaged Flaws In Reality (Revised)
Pratchett’s vision in ‘Men At Arms’
overwhelms – the enormous scope
of scenes he paints reduces me
to tears and silent wonder
Sam Vimes’ income spent caring for
widows and orphans of deceased
watchmen; Angua facetiously claims
he spends it all on women
Captain Carrot explains Vimes one-
man pension fund scheme, tells how
he lives frugally to provide for those
he sees worse off than him,
For this he receives fairytale rewards:
marries Ankh-Morpork’s richest woman
made a Knight by none other than the
undercover Ankh-Morpork King –
Captain Carrot – who finds evidence of
his kingship on plunging his sword into
granite, destroys powerful GONNE after
reading documents proving his lineage
But steadfast and strong, turns from his
birthright to the throne, preferring to remain
a watchman – this solid nobility becomes
overpowering narrative causality
Pratchett remonstrates about fairy tales
yet creates luminous, delicate, enticing
magical tales for these two characters,
weaving details as Discworld sagas
Despite cynical commentary on society
and human nature, Pratchett idealistically
creates wonderful bubbles of fantasy,
camouflaged as flaws in reality
[ORIGINAL]
SO overwhelmed by the enormous scope of
Pratchett’s vision in ‘Men At Arms’ - scenes
had me in tears before reducing me to silent
wonder - Sam Vimes spent his income
On widows and orphans of former watchmen; I
cried when Angua said he spent all his money
on women and Carrot stopped her explaining
Vimes one-man pension fund scheme
Vimes lived frugally to provide for those who are
worse off than him, for this he receives a fairytale
recompense: he marries Ankh-Morpork’s richest
woman and is made a Knight
By none other than the undercover Ankh-Morpork
King - Captain Carrot - who finds evidence of his
kingship when he plunges his sword into granite,
destroys the powerful GONNE
After reading documents proving his lineage, he is
still strong and turns from his right to the throne
preferring to remain a watchman - this nobility
becomes overpowering narrative causality
Pratchett always remonstrates against fairy tales,
yet creates the most luminous, delicate, enticing
magical tales for these two characters, filling in
details as the Discworld sagas continue
Pratchett seems to make cynical comments on
human nature and society, yet he is an idealist
creating most wonderful bubbles of fantasy,
camouflaged as flaws in reality
poem by Margaret Alice Second
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Nothing Has Been Proved (Demo For Dusty)
=========
A nervous boy in several ways
I never knew the world could operate this way
I was nervous when we stopped to speak
And the world came crashing around my feet
We don't talk of love
We're much too shy
But nervously we wonder when and why
A nervous boy, in spite of which
I never thought I could tremble as much as this
Your flashing eyes and sudden smiles
Are never quite at ease, and neither am I
Oh, we'll talk about it all some night
But nervously we never get it
Right
From the start I approved of you
Right from the moment you turned to face me
A nervous boy from another town
With a nervous laugh and a concentrated frown
I spoke too fast with watchful eyes
Of a recent past and some nostalgic surprise
We don't talk of love
We're much too shy
But nervously we wonder when and
Smile
Knowing why I approved of you
Right from the moment you turned to face me
A nervous boy
song performed by by Pet Shop Boys
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Nervously
(tennant/lowe)
------------
A nervous boy in several ways
I never knew the world could operate this way
I was nervous when we stopped to speak
And the world came crashing around my feet
We dont talk of love
Were much too shy
But nervously we wonder when and why
A nervous boy, in spite of which
I never thought I could tremble as much as this
Your flashing eyes and sudden smiles
Are never quite at ease, and neither am i
Oh, well talk about it all some night
But nervously we never get it
Right
From the start I approved of you
Right from the moment you turned to face me
A nervous boy from another town
With a nervous laugh and a concentrated frown
I spoke too fast with watchful eyes
Of a recent past and some nostalgic surprise
We dont talk of love
Were much too shy
But nervously we wonder when and
Smile
Knowing why I approved of you
Right from the moment you turned to face me
A nervous boy
song performed by by Pet Shop Boys
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Mr. Darcy
Is Obama Mr. Darcy,
fighting prejudice with pride,
or is it simply that he’s classy,
superior, and rarely snide?
Until with Hillary he dances
as Darcy would not with Miss Bennet
he’ll not succeed Bill with romances
in the White House, and the Senate
will be the only place where he
can demonstrate, while laughing at
himself, that he’s not truly lost in
a world where every Democrat
must be more feminist than Austen.
Though pride’s abominable, it
is far less reprehensible
than sensibility sans wit
in women who aren’t sensible.
Inspired by Maureen Dowd’s Op-Ed article in the NYT on August 3,2008 (“Mr. Darcy Comes Courting”:
It is a truth universally acknowledged that Barack Obama must continue to grovel to Hillary Clinton’s dead-enders, some of whom mutter darkly that they will not only not vote for him, they will never vote for a man again. Obama met for an hour Tuesday with three dozen top Hillaryites at a hotel here, seeking their endorsement and beguiling their begrudging. He opened the session by saying that he knew there had been frustration about what they saw as sexism during the primary. The Los Angeles Times reported that Hillary die-hards want to enshrine a whine in the Democratic platform about how the primaries “exposed pervasive gender bias in the media” and call on party leaders to take “immediate and public steps” to denounce any perceived bias in the future. That is one nutty idea. Perhaps it is because feminists are still so busy cataloging past slights to Hillary that they have failed to mount a vivid defense of Michelle Obama, who has taken over from Hillary as the one conservatives like to paint as a harridan….
The odd thing is that Obama bears a distinct resemblance to the most cherished hero in chick-lit history. The senator is a modern incarnation of the clever, haughty, reserved and fastidious Mr. Darcy. Like the leading man of Jane Austen and Bridget Jones, Obama can, as Austen wrote, draw “the attention of the room by his fine, tall person, handsome features, noble mien....he was looked at with great admiration for about half the evening, till his manners gave a disgust which turned the tide of his popularity; for he was discovered to be proud, to be above his company, and above being pleased.” The master of Pemberley “had yet to learn to be laught at, ” and this sometimes caused “a deeper shade of hauteur” to “overspread his features.” The New Hampshire debate incident in which Obama condescendingly said, “You’re likable enough, Hillary, ” was reminiscent of that early scene in “Pride and Prejudice” when Darcy coldly refuses to dance with Elizabeth Bennet, noting, “She is tolerable; but not handsome enough to tempt me.” Indeed, when Obama left a prayer to the Lord at the Western Wall in Jerusalem, a note that was snatched out and published, part of his plea was to “help me guard against pride.” If Obama is Mr. Darcy, with “his pride, his abominable pride, ” then America is Elizabeth Bennet, spirited, playful, democratic, financially strained, and caught up in certain prejudices. (McCain must be cast as Wickham, the rival for Elizabeth’s affections, the engaging military scamp who casts false aspersions on Darcy’s character.) In this political version of “Pride and Prejudice, ” the prejudice is racial, with only 31 percent of white voters telling The New York Times in a survey that they had a favorable opinion of Obama, compared with 83 percent of blacks. And the prejudice is visceral: many Americans, especially blue collar, still feel uneasy about the Senate’s exotic shooting star, and he is surrounded by a miasma of ill-founded and mistaken premises. So the novelistic tension of the 2008 race is this: Can Obama overcome his pride and Hyde Park hauteur and win America over? Can America overcome its prejudice to elect the first black president? And can it move past its biases to figure out if Obama’s supposed conceit is really just the protective shield and defense mechanism of someone who grew up half white and half black, a perpetual outsider whose father deserted him and whose mother, while loving, sometimes did so as well? Can Miss Bennet teach Mr. Darcy to let down his guard, be more sportive, and laugh at himself?
8/3/08
poem by Gershon Hepner
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Unseen Academicals- 22/11/09
Pratchett’s Unseen Academicals was a
joy from beginning to end, the author is
a prince among men
Ridiculed fashion items like six-inch
stiletto heels and all kinds of bling,
empty-headed models
Remunerated exorbitantly for glittering
while toiling labourers doing necessary
things are paid next-to-nothing
Pratchett’s depiction of the Discworld
is bathed in a golden light of happiness
everybody joyously engaged
In activities normally depicted as unmitigated
Misery; does Pratchett realize how much the
positive attitude of his main characters
Contrast with his cynical omnipresent narrator
perspective, does he see the juxtaposition
between two aspects
His protagonists acting with integrity and his blasé
narrative voice, the dualism must cause a war
in his mind – verily, I suspect
That is happening at present, while Pratchett is
telling a world-weary tale of human nature, his
characters are presenting a morality play
He cannot subdue them, cannot force decadence
on his characters, they are whiter than snow –
how much does this irk him?
I would love to know...
Terry Pratchett ‘Unseen Academicals’ Doubleday 2009
poem by Margaret Alice
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One does not love a place the less for having suffered in it unless it has all been suffering, nothing but suffering.
quote by Jane Austen
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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One does not love a place the less for having suffered in it, unless it has been all suffering, nothing but suffering.
quote by Jane Austen
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Suffering by nature or chance never seems so painful as suffering inflicted on us by the arbitrary will of another.
quote by Arthur Schopenhauer
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Good Advice
Open the window I need some air
So many people and theres such disorder here
Familiar faces found out lies
Turn to the street now I watch the passers by
I wonder what they recognize
And what theyd recommend to fill my days
Possessions start to wear me down
I need some good advice some good advice to wear me down
Im nervous can you help me
Im nervous can you help me
Im nervous can you help me
Im nervous can you help me
Instead they harbor secret thoughts
They break through windows that have twice been locked
I have to walk to wear me out
I need some good advice some good advice to wear me down
Im nervous can you help me
Im nervous can you help me
Im nervous can you help me
Im nervous can you help me
I throw my arms and pray to leave
I gotta head for love like is inside me
My lips press tight so not to drown
I need some good advice some good advice to wear me down
Im nervous can you help me
Im nervous can you help me
Im nervous can you help me
Im nervous can you help me
Give me some good advice to help me along
If I know its true
Give me some good advice to help me along
If I know its true
Give me some good advice to help me along
If I know its true
Im nervous
Give me some good advice to wear me down
song performed by by Texas
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Intentional
No matter what may be done or said,
When that action in time takes place...
Someone will feel left out instead.
Not because of the action,
Done or said.
But how it was related when instigated.
Whoever made it fun for one,
To berate another with a blurting tongue...
The day will come,
When a similar deed is repeated.
With a singing of a song sung,
Or a tune heard hummed.
With no exit to ignore it to escape or leave,
The perpetrator remembered...
Will then be seeking empathy.
That no one with heart and soul intact,
Will care to release to relieve.
To set one free from memories.
This Earth is not flat,
It looks as if round.
And rotates on an axis,
To return to a place of origin always found.
And that is a fact when one sits to think,
Of those thoughts trapped to sit cemented...
In intentional inequities inflicted to sting and meant!
Inflicted to sting and meant!
What goes around...
Inflicted to sting and meant!
Comes around...
Inflicted to sting and meant!
What goes around...
Inflicted to sting and meant!
Comes around...
Inflicted to sting and meant!
It is all quite intentional.
'Never accuse me again,
Of not having substance! '
Inflicted to sting and meant!
'Never...
Inflicted to sting and meant!
Accuse...
Inflicted to sting and meant!
Me...
Inflicted to sting and meant!
Again! '
Inflicted to sting and meant!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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I Call Him A Hero
He who's rich yet not proud,
He who's humble yet not easily swayed by the crowd,
He who's influential yet dislikes corruption and fraud,
He who's powerful yet doesn't boss around,
I calll him a hero -
a superhero and a half!
He who's weak but seldom stumbles,
He who's conscience never crumbles,
He who's often hurt but never grumbles,
He who's famous yet faithful like the knight of times ancient,
He who's reputable yet reasonably patient,
I call him a hero -
a superhero and a half!
He who's vulnerable yet likes caring,
He who's got a little yet loves sharing,
He who's always under pressure yet loves sacrificing for others,
He who likes to look and listen and learn more than giving orders,
I call him a hero -
a superhero and a half!
He who's ever-conscious of the needs of mankind,
He who's just and fair and kind -
whose conscience does not follow the wind
but his soul as steadfast and sharp his mind -
who's open-minded,
who's open-hearted,
who's open-handed,
That kind is really hard on earth to find,
yet, if only one on planet earth there is
Then I'll call him a hero -
a superhero and a half!
poem by Comfort Ndlovu
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Primed For Time
Hey now!
Pulled up back of the parking lot
This aint miss daisy now, look what I got
.357 and its primed for time
Im just 16 but Im blowing like a wind chime
I get up, I go down
Guess you could say Im from the wrong side of town
Tank commander in my neighborhood
Well read my lips is this understood
* its your nervous breakdown
Its your teenage shakedown
Your nervous breakdown
(just one of those things)
Ive seen all the movies on the late late show
Clint and schwarzenegger taught me all I know
So open up and hand the money here
This is the start of an illustrious career
I get up, I go to bed
I sleep good with a price on my head
I love the glamour the girls and the car
From lemonade to old courvoisier
* repeat
[instrumental]
* repeat (without last line)
song performed by by Ufo
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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You have delighted us long enough.
Jane Austen in Pride and Prejudice
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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We all know him to be a proud, unpleasant sort of a man; but this would be nothing if you really liked him.
Jane Austen in Pride and Prejudice
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Think only of the past as its remembrance gives you pleasure.
Jane Austen in Pride and Prejudice
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Stay Germ Free
Bird Flu and Swine Flu can travel our way.
So may cleanliness be the mode of the day...
In the Florence Nightingale way.
'Florence Nightingale'
nurse in the Crimean War
helped British soldiers
by cleaning the hospitals
halving the dreadful death toll.
Although retired, she gave her all
to improve the conditions
in the Nursing Profession,
leaving behind a valuable lesson.
Bird Flu and Swine Flu can travel our way
So may cleanliness be the mode of the day
in the Florence Nightingale way.
poem by Joyce Hemsley
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Florence Nightingale's Crimean War Patients
The facts myth and legend.
'Florence Nightingale
laboured in Constantinople;
nursing surgical period
Crimean War casualties;
British soldiers treats
near on two weary legless years.'
November 1854 sees
Nightingale's ship arrived;
at Selimiye Barracks
in Scutari Constantinople;
modern-day Üsküdar in
present day Istanbul Turkey.
Nightingale's staff
consisting of courageous;
38 women volunteer nurses
trained by Nightingale;
could not preform miracles
wound disease death toll rises?
Death rate highest of all
hospitals in treatment region;
first winter at Scutari
4,077 soldiers there died;
ten times more soldiers
died from illnesses diseases;
than from battle wounds?
In the face of military official
administrative indifference;
Nightingale and her nurses
arrival found wounded soldiers;
badly cared for by ill equipped
overworked medical staff?
Mass infections were common
cholera dysentery typhoid;
typhus were fatal for fated many...
medicines were in short supply;
hygiene was being neglected
no equipment existed to process;
food for suffering wounded patients?
Why were conditions
at the temporary;
Selimiye Barracks
in Scutari hospital;
so fatal to patients
Crimean War during?
Simple obvious expected answers
when present developed medical;
research knowledge is applied
past conditions of overcrowding;
Scutari hospital's defective sewers
lack of adequate ventilation?
A Sanitary Commission sent
out by British government;
to hospital Scutari in March 1855
arrived approximately six months;
after lamp lady Florence Nightingale
had arrived effected treatment flushing;
out sewers improvements to ventilation?
Death rates were sharply reduced.
Florence Nightingale during
Crimean War did not;
recognize hygiene as
death cause predominant;
Florence Nightingale
never claimed credit;
for personally helping
to reduce death rate?
Florence Nightingale
was angelic compassion;
lady with the lamp an
angel visitation in nightmares;
during agony death nights
when fear gripped dying hearts;
truth is legend accolades?
Who perpetuated
until recently held myths;
which commonly asserted
Nightingale reduced;
death rate from 42% to 2%
by making improvements;
in hygiene herself personally
called in Sanitary Commission?
The Dictionary of National
Biography first edition of 1911;
made this claim unsubstantiated
second edition in 2001 did not?
Fabulous legendary achievements
of early great heroic innovators;
is best honoured in truth plain
lamp nightly angelic visitations?
poem by Terence George Craddock
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All The Girls In The World Beware!!!
I got tarter on my teeth, but I dont care.
I got dark brown stains, in my underwear.
Im a crumb and a bum, Im a slouch and a louse.
A crazy man who dont give a damn about his self.
Chorus
All the girls in the world beware!!!
All the girls in the world beware!!!
All the girls in the world beware!!!
All the girls in the world beware!!!
Im the crazy man.
Im the crazy man.
Im the craa ... zzy man.
I aint naive, I got a line or two.
Id even make one up, just to lay on you.
Im rude and Im shrewd, Im fat and Im bad.
Im a man who dont give a damn bout who he is.
Chorus
Chorus
Chorus
Im the crazy man.
Im the crazy man.
Im the craa ... zzy man.
All the girls beware.
All the girls beware.
All the girls beware.
All the girls beware.
All the girls beware.
All the girls beware.
All the girls beware!!!
Im the crazy man.
All the girls in the world beware!!!
Im the crazy man.
All the girls in the world beware!!!
Im the craa ...
All the girls in the world beware!!!
... zzy man.
All the girls in the world beware!!!
Chorus
Craa ... zzy.
song performed by by Grand Funk Railroad
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Better, Deeper, More Intelligent
Better, deeper, more intelligent,
and sensitive than us, Jane Austen
provides a literary environment
in which we all, by getting lost in
admiration for her heroines,
feel so diminished we conclude
whichever of the many heroes wins
their heart is an unlucky dude.
Riding with her, dressed by Abercombie
and Fitch is not the sort of way
I’d like to spend my time. I’m not a zombie.
Perhaps because I am not gay
I can’t relate to all the topics Jane
obsesses on, and in Northanger
Abbey heroines would all complain
I was a crashing bore and wanker.
“Why couldn’t all these heroines go out
and get a job? ” was asked by Emma––
not Jane’s, Ms. Thompson’s Emma, without doubt
a heroine who’s not a femi-
nist––oh horrid word––but understands
how prejudice which is their pride
lands nearly all of them in Jane’s badlands
composed of English countryside.
Who needs a woman who is deeper than
themselves, far better, surely, and
far more intelligent? I’m not that man.
Although I think I understand
what all her heroines are saying, I
don’t look for girls who're good or deep.
I’m merely looking for the sort who’ll lie
with me before I fall asleep.
Inspired by an article by Jennifer Schuessler on “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, ” by Seth Grahame-Smith (“I Was a Regency Zombie, ” NYT, February 22,2009) :
The classic examples of that would be any speech by Judi Dench — her accent certainly helps — or Emma Thompson’s understated, wryly funny acceptance speech at the 1996 Oscars, when she won the award for best adapted screenplay for “Sense and Sensibility.”
“Before I came, I went to visit Jane Austen’s grave in Winchester Cathedral to pay my respects, you know, and tell her about the grosses, ” she said. She also thanked Sidney Pollack “for asking the right questions, like, ‘Why couldn’t these women go out and get a job? ’ ” Ms. Thompson — who accepted another award, at the Golden Globes, with a speech in the style of Jane Austen herself — then did what cool British award winners do: she put the Oscar in her guest bathroom.
These days, America is menaced by zombie banks and zombie computers. What’s next, a zombie Jane Austen? In fact, yes. Minor pandemonium ensued in the blogosphere this month after Quirk Books announced the publication of “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, ” an edition of Austen’s classic juiced up with “all-new scenes of bone-crunching zombie mayhem” by a Los Angeles television writer named Seth Grahame-Smith. (First line: “It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains.”) … In fact, “Pride and Prejudice” may already be a zombie novel, contends Brad Pasanek, a specialist in 18th-century literature at the University of Virginia. “The characters other than the protagonist are so often surrounded by people who aren’t fully human, like machines that keep repeating the same things over and over again, ” Professor Pasanek said. “All those characters shuffling in and out of scenes, always frustrating the protagonists. It’s a crowded but eerie landscape. What’s wrong with those people? They don’t dance well but move in jerky fits. Oh, they are headed this way! ” While the vast industry of Austen sequels and pastiches runs heavily toward the romance-novel end of the literary spectrum - see “The Private Diary of Mr. Darcy” by Maya Slater, to be published in the United States in June - scholars have long emphasized the mean-girl side of Jane’s personality. Professor Pasanek, who has collaborated on a project that uses spam-detection software to analyze Austen fan fiction, cites the psychologist D. W. Harding’s 1940 essay “Regulated Hatred, ” which sounds more like a death-metal band than a piece of influential Austen scholarship.“Most people try to ignore the fact that Austen’s novels are sort of acid baths, ” Professor Pasanek said. “She’s so much better, deeper, more sensitive and intelligent than everyone around her that she has to regulate her own misanthropy. Her novels are hostile environments.”
2/22/09
poem by Gershon Hepner
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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