Emotional Upheaval

Only Terry Pratchett can be forgiven for irreverently sending
an unrefined Sam Vines into the pristine company of Pride
and Prejuduce - calling this classic a silly romance

Vimes launches into a diatribe against the stifling gentility that
held rich people enthralled within a useless existence, tells
author Jane Austen to write about

Corpses, murder and war – a cross between Mickey Spillane
and Margaret Mitchell; I love his advice about earning one’s
own keep leading to self-esteem

Enjoy the psychological tension Austen described –without
much action she creates more excitement and emotional
upheaval than Mike Hammer and

Scarlett O’Hara combined – only Wuthering Heights and
Jane Eyre can rival Jane Austen in making me
experience hallucinations!

Snuff – Terry Pratchett; Doubleday 2011
pp 69-72

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Lack Of Haute Couture

Beware Sam Vimes; annoyed by a fantailer hat,
jodhpurs and a nervous smile; Sam took on the
legendary Jane Austen, author of world renowned
Pride and Prejudice, to reform her into a modern
writer, criticized the flimsy attire of her five girls

Sending them to Florence Nightingale nursing, open
a Milliner’s shop to put an end to their small talk, marry
Mr Collins the curate shunned by a fastidious Elizabeth
and deleting Mr Darcy; I must agree, Captain Carrot
lords it over all other hero’s in likeability, magical

powers and nobility to withstand pressure to become
king, though he knows his ancestry, being a superhero;
the intrepid commander sees nervous smiles as dead
giveaway of disagreeable intent and jodhpurs means
burgled silverware seen in trousers outlined in teapots

This offensive ensemble is described with inimitable
Pratchettian aplomb: ‘a presumably self-inflicted triple
misfortune’ - oh yes, I have also been caught wearing
self-inflicted triple - even quadruple - misfortunes of all
kinds, suffering from lack of haute couture

And I mean to go on suffering this way, it is much
more fun than being elegant all the time!


Snuff – Terry Pratchett, Doubleday 2011
pp.243,244

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Rudyard Kipling

The Mare's Nest

Jane Austen Beecher Stowe de Rouse
Was good beyond all earthly need;
But, on the other hand, her spouse
Was very, very bad indeed.
He smoked cigars, called churches slow,
And raced -- but this she did not know.

For Belial Machiavelli kept
The little fact a secret, and,
Though o'er his minor sins she wept,
Jane Austen did not understand
That Lilly -- thirteen-two and bay
Absorbed one-half her husband's pay.

She was so good, she made hime worse;
(Some women are like this, I think;)
He taught her parrot how to curse,
Her Assam monkey how to drink.
He vexed her righteous soul until
She went up, and he went down hill.

Then came the crisis, strange to say,
Which turned a good wife to a better.
A telegraphic peon, one day,
Brought her -- now, had it been a letter
For Belial Machiavelli, I
Know Jane would just have let it lie.

But 'twas a telegram instead,
Marked "urgent," and her duty plain
To open it. Jane Austen read:
"Your Lilly's got a cough again.
Can't understand why she is kept
At your expense." Jane Austen wept.

It was a misdirected wire.
Her husband was at Shaitanpore.
She spread her anger, hot as fire,
Through six thin foreign sheets or more.
Sent off that letter, wrote another
To her solicitor -- and mother.

Then Belial Machiavelli saw
Her error and, I trust, his own,
Wired to the minion of the Law,
And traveled wifeward -- not alone.
For Lilly -- thirteen-two and bay --
Came in a horse-box all the way.

There was a scene -- a weep or two --
With many kisses. Austen Jane
Rode Lilly all the season through,
And never opened wires again.
She races now with Belial. This
Is very sad, but so it is.

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Jane Austen

Silly things do cease to be silly if they are done by sensible people in an impudent way.

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Jane Austen

Silly things do cease to be silly if they are done by sensible people in an impudent way.

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Jane Austen

Selfishness must always be forgiven you know, because there is no hope of a cure.

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Little Liza Jane

Traditional
Where is my tambourine wait a minute I'll get your tambourine
Got my tambourine get your thing baby
What's wrong with you what is it you want
Can't forget my tambourine boy want a minute
This is a folk tune nad it's called Little Liza Jane
We get some rhythm started here and see what happens
I got a beau you ain't got none Little Liza Jean
I got a beau you ain't got none Little Liza Jean
I got a beau you ain't got none Little Liza Jean
I got a beau you ain't got none Little Liza Jean
Oh Little Liza Liza Jane oh Little Liza Liza Jean
Oh Little Liza Liza Jane oh Little Liza Liza Jean
Come my love and live with me
I will take good care of thee Little Liza Jean
Come my love and live with me
I will take good care of thee Little Liza Jean
Oh Little Liza Liza Jane oh Little Liza Liza Jean
Oh Little Liza Liza Jane oh Little Liza Liza Jean
Hambone Hammer where you've been
Down by the river making gin
I know a man that's three feet tall
Drink his liquor and has a ball
Saw him just the other day
He had a horse and a ball of hay
Little Lisa Jane Jane Little Liza
Little Lisa Jane Jane Little Liza
Little Lisa Jane Jane Little Liza
Little Liza Jean Little Liza Jean
Little Lisa Jane Jane Little Liza
Little Lisa Jane Jane Little Liza
Little Lisa Jane Jane Little Liza
Little Liza Jean Little Liza Jean
Oh Little Liza Liza Jane oh Little Liza Liza Jean
Oh Little Liza Liza Jane oh Little Liza Liza Jean
He took me to his great big town
Lots of people standing around
They were listening to a great big band
the bestest music in the land
I tell you once and tell you twice
Enjoy yourself and live your life
Little Lisa Jane Jane Little Liza
Little Lisa Jane Jane Little Liza
Little Lisa Jane Jane Little Liza
Little Liza Jean Little Liza Jean
Little Lisa Jane Jane Little Liza
Little Lisa Jane Jane Little Liza
Little Lisa Jane Jane Little Liza
Little Liza Jean Little Liza Jean
Oh Little Liza Liza Jane oh Little Liza Liza Jean
Oh Little Liza Liza Jane oh Little Liza Liza Jean

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Little Liza Jean

Traditional
Where is my tambourine wait a minute Ill get your tambourine
Got my tambourine get your thing baby
Whats wrong with you what is it you want
Cant forget my tambourine boy want a minute
This is a folk tune nad its called little liza jane
We get some rhythm started here and see what happens
I got a beau you aint got none little liza jean
I got a beau you aint got none little liza jean
I got a beau you aint got none little liza jean
I got a beau you aint got none little liza jean
Oh little liza liza jane oh little liza liza jean
Oh little liza liza jane oh little liza liza jean
Come my love and live with me
I will take good care of thee little liza jean
Come my love and live with me
I will take good care of thee little liza jean
Oh little liza liza jane oh little liza liza jean
Oh little liza liza jane oh little liza liza jean
Hambone hammer where youve been
Down by the river making gin
I know a man thats three feet tall
Drink his liquor and has a ball
Saw him just the other day
He had a horse and a ball of hay
Little lisa jane jane little liza
Little lisa jane jane little liza
Little lisa jane jane little liza
Little liza jean little liza jean
Little lisa jane jane little liza
Little lisa jane jane little liza
Little lisa jane jane little liza
Little liza jean little liza jean
Oh little liza liza jane oh little liza liza jean
Oh little liza liza jane oh little liza liza jean
He took me to his great big town
Lots of people standing around
They were listening to a great big band
The bestest music in the land
I tell you once and tell you twice
Enjoy yourself and live your life
Little lisa jane jane little liza
Little lisa jane jane little liza
Little lisa jane jane little liza
Little liza jean little liza jean
Little lisa jane jane little liza
Little lisa jane jane little liza
Little lisa jane jane little liza
Little liza jean little liza jean
Oh little liza liza jane oh little liza liza jean
Oh little liza liza jane oh little liza liza jean

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Jane Austen

You have delighted us long enough.

Jane Austen in Pride and PrejudiceReport problemRelated quotes
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Jane Austen

There are people, who the more you do for them, the less they will do for themselves.

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Jane Austen

We all know him to be a proud, unpleasant sort of a man; but this would be nothing if you really liked him.

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Jane Austen

Think only of the past as its remembrance gives you pleasure.

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Jane Austen

My idea of good company is the company of clever, well-informed people who have a great deal of conversation; that is what I call good company.

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Jane Austen

You must learn some of my philosophy. Think only of the past as its remembrance gives you pleasure.

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When And How

Could Jane Austen really have been a victim of Emerald Green? *
Or the workings of a homicidal maniac to say the least?
A blood-thirsty demon with ice water in his veins?
A true psychopath-preparing a virtual feast? ;
Compared to a modern-day hitman or woman
With the contract in their evil hands
First, to befriend their marks...
Hence, designing their cold blooded plan...
Setting their perfect time line...? ? ?
Alerted: The time is now...! ! !
Sinister-Reptilian Of Death
Arsenic-Is The How...


First In My Series: Murder For Hire

Not necessarily fiction
As in the death of Jane Austen
It is believed that arsenic may have been the weapon and
The how of her death
*Emerald Green-another name for an Arsenic compound
It is: AS and is number 33...in the Element Table.

By, Theodora Onken
February 5,2012

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Shivers Of Excitement

Lord Vetinari understands the human psyche so well
he thinks smuggling is rather swell, develops enterprise,
stealth and original thinking, allowing average people
to experience shivers of excitement

Lord Vetinari recommends everyone to break the law in
delightfully delicious ways from time to time, it keeps the
brain sane - lovely advice; though I break the law simply
because my brain wiring is wrong - it still is

Necessary to combat the pangs of conscience when my
brain synapses misfire while I am paid to play at being a
machine, a robot on autopilot, the problem being auto-
function is non-existent in me - it seems

Just to be alive is already a transgression against the well-
regulated people I meet who enjoy being machines and
do not know the meaning of the term existential crisis;
they KNOW they were born to serve

While I always suspect a conspiracy to hide that we were
born to LIVE – to have fun while knowing we can’t get it
done, there is no objective right or wrong, simply a set
of self-made human rules

Snuff – Terry Pratchett, Doubleday,2011
Quotes from pp 18&19

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Jane Austen

For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbours, and laugh at them in our turn?

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Ever In Memory

In Hampshire ~
Fair county of England
Dwelt a lady of skill and ability
The wonderful novelist
Jane Austen.
She wrote many stories...
'Pride and Prejudice'
'Sense and Sensibility'
And the ever-popular 'Emma'.
Although Jane died
With two novels unfinished,
Her unique and fine books
Are ours to own
Her films are still shown
And her name stands alone
In the famed archive zone.

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Jane Austen

The more I know of the world, the more I am convinced that I shall never see a man whom I can really love.

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Jane Austen

I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me that trouble of liking them.

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Jane Austen

I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them.

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