Gizmo's In The Slammer: My Dog the Convict
Had to get Gizmo out of the slammer today.
Animal control had him in the cage with the wet concrete floor and dripping water.
He had an inmate ID number, a temporary collar and they had set his bail at 60 dollars.
The city is hard up for money so they make you pay after they have kidnapped your dog in broad daylight off the city streets.
Gizmo had been held for a whole hour without food or water and I looked at him and I could see he was thinking he had had a great adventure. I expected him to jump for joy to see me, but instead he reluctantly came up to me seeming to say “oh and I was having such fun.”
Perhaps a little more time in the clink might have given him more time to think things over. But I was there in an hour to get him out so he was considering all of this just another one of his patrols of the neighbor, but this time with taxi service.
He was thinking, I am sure, that he could add the pound and all the dogs and cats in there as additions to his territory if I hadn’t showed up to spoil things. Gizmo is a pirate at heart 12 years old with two bad hips.
Shiatsu’s are known for bad hips because of in-breeding, with two baleful eyes and a determination to protect his neighbor-hood territory rights keeping the cats and younger dogs at bay and being over-all Lord of the Block.
He is also a break-out artist as well. Has to get his patrols in rain or shine. He is the black and white cruiser on the block, unlike Mugsy who considers the outside too dirty to deal with and is also filled with ugly cats. Mugsy is the Prima Donna.
Gizmo believes one day missed from patrolling is likely to result in his loss of face and if not territory, not to mention rights to the ladies in the neighborhood.
How did a short dog manage to acquire a neighbor kingdom? Here’s how: Gizmo rules because when he walks his two hind legs flail out behind him because of the hips, looking like a Crazy Legs Psycho Dog.
He is in no pain and has the courage of a lion, lunging at cats and dogs three times his size. The vets wanted 6,000 for do hip transplants but that didn’t make sense, especially since Gizmo didn’t seem to be in pain and seemed to consider crazy legs a mere inconvenience.
But he rules because he quickly realized that cats and dogs seeing him coming with his two hind legs flailing crazily behind him, made him seem like a monster dog of some kind and they all froze and then ran, not wanting to tangle with a mentally-ill short dog who looked like he could gnaw off one of their paws.
So Gizmo maintained his territory by playing crazy for all it was worth.
Unfortunately on one of his bust-outs the animal control guy also thought he was a crazy dog, rabid and netted him with a note that said he was having spasms and likely dangerous. None of this is true, of course, but Gizmo was looking back at me from behind bars apparently enjoying his image as the Al Capone the dog.
They wanted sixty dollars bail on him and a promise to get him some rabies shots, Gizmo had his shots, but they wouldn’t release him unless I consented to pay for rabies shots they administered.
A protection racket for dogs.
Gizmo, all puffed up from the attention, took the shot in his rear left cheek and drooled with quiet dignity.
I got him in the car and he headed for the window anxious to see what dog prison looked like receding in the distance.
I had the feeling he made some friends there and wouldn’t mind going back.
poem by Lonnie Hicks
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
New
A new dress
A new place
A new gizmo
A new dream
A new cuisine
A new video
A new song
A new book
A new movie
However
Many things
I buy or see…
Without you,
Nothing seems
New to me…
It's the same
Old history…
Of missing you
Miserably…
poem by Aparna Chatterjee
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Peace And Propriety
in the name of propriety
to cats we must be cats too
you know what happens when
we show to the cats that we
are really dogs in feelings and
actions,
there will be a chase of course,
and chaos, and there will be war
and there will be losers and
winners,
and in this matter
and manner of speaking we choose
to be dogs to assure that we win
but that is not always the case
the cats have advanced in their feline
technology and breeding
so my dear, let us just be proper
to cats we shall be cats
and make this world a happy place
for all.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Crazy But Happy.....
how come that we save money
like it is a morsel that we even refuse
to feed the dogs and the cats?
how come that we spend the same
in a night like it were raining dogs and cats?
crazy? yes, crazy, but
happy.
period.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Technology
When i turn the television on
i change the channels on and on
i find the right channel with the remote control
i see my idols, they make me lose control! !
When i turn the computer on,
i go to websites in the internet
typing its letters with the keyboard
clicking games with the mouse,
and with no one disturbing me, cause i do it in my house
from generation to generation,
gadgets and gizmo's made by amazing inventors
but three things so simple, i cant be without,
the remote control, keyboard and mouse,
dont need to outside, their inside my house
poem by Trisha Mae Galia
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Animal Farm
This world is big and wild and half insane
Take me where real animals are playing
Just a dirty old shack
Where the hound dogs bark
That we called our home
I want to be back there
Among the cats and dogs
And the pigs and the goats
On animal farm
My animal home
On animal farm
My animal home
While I lay my head upon my pillow
Little girl, come play beneath my window
Though shes far from home
She is free from harm
And she need not fear
She is by my side
And the sky is wide
So let the sun shine bright
On animal farm
My animal home
On animal farm
My animal home
Girl, its a hard, hard world, if it gets you down
Dreams often fade and die in a bad, bad world
Ill take you where real animals are playing
And people are real people not just playing
Its a quiet, quiet life
By a dirty old shack
That we called our home
I want to be back there
Among the cats and dogs
And the pigs and the goats
On animal farm
My animal home
On animal farm
My animal home
On animal farm
Animal farm
song performed by by Kinks
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Tick Tock
MY FRIEND WITH HIS ROUND SMILEY FACE
REFUSED TO TICK, REFUSED TO TOCK
I FEARED HE'D GIVEN UP LIFES RACE
AS I RAPPED AND IT STILL DIDN'T GO
MY GRANDSON SAID `GIVE IT SOME FOOD? '
BUT ALAS, IT WASN'T IN THE MOOD
HIS CHANGING` TOCK' HAS PUT ME TO SLEEP FOR SO LONG
ALONG WITH MY TEDDY, I NEEDED NO SONG
HIS HANDS HAVE STOPPED TO SHOW HIS SADNESS
TIME HAS RUN OUT FOR HIM
HIS SPRING IS PROBABLY BROKEN AND HIS CHROME WORN THIN
NEW MODELS TAKE OVER, THEY DON'T MAKE A SOUND
THEIR PARTS DON'T EVEN GO ROUND
SO THE CHANGES SET IN
WE ACCEPT THAT NEW SUPER DOOPER GIZMO THING
poem by Brian Roy Skyers
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A New Animal Kingdom
In the Kingdom of animal royalty
Where cats and dogs would reign
There’d be no sign of cruelty
Nothing inhumane
To join, just sign the application
With paw-prints, you’ll prevail
Complete your obligation
With the wagging of your tail
You’ll never have to wear a leash
As humans are not allowed
Come and go, just as you please
T’would be the cat’s meow
Coyotes and wolves and dogs and cats
All creatures of the night
Like frogs and turtles and owls and bats
Deserve their Bill of Rights
Humans are so certain that
Our planet’s their domain
But they also thought the world was flat
How foolishly inane
So join with us in our freedom fight
For animal liberation
As we strive on earth to set things right
Against human domination
poem by Stanley Cooper
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Like Cats And Dogs
like cats and dogs shall we
be in the morning till nighttime
that is how they want to see us,
in a brawl, a fight, an argument
a wrestle, a push and pull,
but whew, time gets so tired
too, and well, we got to talk
and settle the inevitable,
tonight we shall give them
rain, and again, as they
expected, we shall be
like, sort of, raining
cats and dogs, but this
time, we shall be inside
a dark room, we shall
try how is it just to listen.
you know what i mean,
unrobe me.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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Blessed Cats and Dogs
Cats and dogs, aren’t they blessed?
Causing the country to insist
What the blows are to the chest.
Why do little angels work so caressed?
Making the country to assist
Cats and dogs, aren’t they blessed?
My soldiers in the army are with a blood test,
Keeping lines and dictation as a checklist,
What the blows are to the chest.
Amazed by the brilliance of those in the contest,
Canine help became something to co-exist,
Cats and dogs, aren’t they blessed?
May service feed the animals of conquest,
Domestic keepers will arrive at their crest,
What the blows are to the chest.
We see, we know the animals are depressed,
May loving people take a goodness as a list,
What the blows are to the chest,
Cats and dogs, aren’t they blessed?
poem by Naveed Akram
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Part Of Your World
Look at this stuff
Isn't it neat?
Wouldn't you think my collection's complete?
Wouldn't you think I'm the girl
The girl who has everything?
Look at this trove
Treasures untold
How many wonders can one cavern hold?
Looking around here you'd think(i love you)
Sure, she's got everything
I've got gadgets and gizmo's a-plenty
I've got woozits and whatzits galore
You want thingamabobs? I've got 20.
But who cares?
No big deal
I want more
I wanna be where the people are
I wanna see
Wanna see 'em dancing
Walking around on those
[What do you call 'em? oh, feet!]
Flipping your fins you don't get to far
Legs are required for jumping, dancing
strolling along down the
What's that word again? street
Oh, Up where they walk
Up where they run
Up where they stay all day in the sun
Wandering free
Wish I could be
Part of that world
What would I give
If I could live
Out of these waters?
What would I pay
To spend a day
Warm on the sand?
Bet'cha on land
They understand
that they don't reprimend their daughters
Bright young women
Sick of swimming
Ready to stand
And I'm ready to know what the people know
Ask 'em my questions and get some answers
What's a fire and why does it
What's the word? burn
When's it my turn?
Wouldn't I love
Love to explore the shore up above?
Out of the sea
Wish I could be
Part of that world
Out of the sea
Wish I could be
Part of your world
song performed by by Jessica Simpson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Our Fickle Feline Friends
Cats abide us, we will do
Till they find something better,
They have no canine loyalty
And would not die in our defence -
Dogs are rather stupid, just like us,
But cats have much more common-sense!
Given half a chance they'd be elsewhere,
Rubbing against some stranger's legs
While they feed them titbits, stroke their fur,
Deceived, like us, by that feline purr -
We might be worried witless
But would the little traitors care?
Next time you feed the cat take note,
Tomorrow she might not be there! !
poem by John Thorkild Ellison
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Dog, Actually
Don't waste your time calling my name
I'm far too busy to play your game
I'm sniffing a dog's bum and it's doing the same
Cos I'm a dog: and that's what dogs do
I'm very excited when it's time for my walk
The peg where my lead hangs I watch like a hawk
I'd shout 'Take me walkies! ' if only I'd talk
Cos I'm a dog: and that's what dogs do
I run down the garden chasing after my ball
I leap on my hind legs so I look rather tall
When food's being offered I'll respond to your call
Cos I'm a dog: and that's what dogs do
I'm quite young and active and love to play
And when evening comes by the fire I'll lay
I'd like to sleep on a bed but in my basket I'll stay
Cos I'm a dog: and that's what dogs do
I'm a big labrador and my friends call me Billy
I'm soft and I'm gentle and just a bit silly
When I'm not eating biscuits I'm licking my... paws
Cos I'm a dog: and that's what dogs do
poem by Kevin Crinks
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Cats Eye Resurrection
Cats ~ cats ~ cats
Eye
Cats ~ cats ~ cats
Splashing on my walls ~ my walls
In the field the bodies are tied
To the their crosses hair hanging down
The blood is rolling down their
Arms to the waiting dogs
Bad ~ bad ~ bad
Doctors
Bad ~ bad ~ bad
Counting the meat on the tables
In the field the bodies are tied to the
Altar the popes mule sings a song of
Freedom from his majesty-the pope
Nazi ~ nazi ~ nazi
Butchers
Nazi ~ nazi ~ nazi
Waving their tongues in the air
Cats-cats-cats-bad-bad-bad-cats eye
Resurrection
song performed by by Rob Zombie
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Cats In The Well
The cats in the well, the wolf is looking down.
The cats in the well, the wolf is looking down.
He got his big bushy tail dragging all over the ground.
The cats in the well, the gentle lady is asleep.
Cats in the well, the gentle lady is asleep.
She aint hearing a thing, the silence is a-stickin her deep.
Bridge #1:
The cats in the well and grief is showing its face
The worlds being slaughtered and its such a bloody disgrace.
The cats in the well, the horse is going bumpety bump.
The cats in the well, and the horse is going bumpety bump.
Back alley sally is doing the american jump.
Bridge #2:
The cats in the well, and pappa is reading the news.
His hair is falling out and all of his daughters need shoes.
The cats in the well and the barn is full of bull
The cats in the well and the barn is full of bull
The night is so long and the table is oh, so full
Bridge #3:
The cats in the well and the servant is at the door.
The drinks are ready and the dogs are going to war.
The cats in the well, the leaves are starting to fall
The cats in the well, leaves are starting to fall
Goodnight, my love, may the lord have mercy on us all.
song performed by by Bob Dylan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Idiotic Idiom
The Anglo-Saxon idiom
Is a tax upon the brain
I mean, just what have cats and dogs
To do with heavy rain?
And if I'd like a cup of tea
(As often is my wish)
No problem, 'cause our kettle's
Never yet been full of fish.
Are people really 'all at sea'
When troubles they are braving?
And should men be commited
Just for laying crazy-paving?
You may have a funny feeling
Which can't be laughed about,
And how come something without legs,
Like money, can run out?
Yes English, to a foreign ear
Must seem a puzzling lingo,
And by the way, what kind of house
Do people win at bingo?
And don't go ringing 9 9 9
You'll only seem a liar
If adversaries now get on
Just like a house on fire.
I could go 'harping on'
At least until my pen 'ran out'
But you would get 'dog tired'
I haven't got the slightest doubt;
Suffice to say
This idiotic idiom on show
Is peculiarly English,
Well wouldn't you just know.
Written March 1996
poem by John Carter Brown
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Conscientious Deacon
(A song to be syncopated as you please)
Black cats, grey cats, green cats miau—
Chasing the deacon who stole the cow.
He runs and tumbles, he tumbles and runs.
He sees big white men with dogs and guns.
He falls down flat. He turns to stare—
No cats, no dogs, and no men there.
But black shadows, grey shadows, green shadows come.
The wind says, 'Miau!' and the rain says, 'Hum!'
He goes straight home. He dreams all night.
He howls. He puts his wife in a fright.
Black devils, grey devils, green devils shine—
Yes, by Sambo,
And the fire looks fine!
Cat devils, dog devils, cow devils grin—
Yes, by Sambo,
And the fire rolls in.
And so, next day, to avoid the worst—
He takes that cow
Where he found her first.
poem by Vachel Lindsay
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Raining cats and dogs and I am with you
Raining cats and dogs
And I'm with you
I'm Not telling a lie
And it is true.
Breaking my mind
I tell you everything
Muttering incantation
Leaving me nowhere.
Still you are my love
And I'm here only for you
Repeating my words
Again and again is true.
Leaving the place
Leaving you not true
Raining cats and dogs
And I'm with you
I am with you with you.
poem by Gajanan Mishra
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Cattitude for M'Lady Ernestine
She tells her kittens this and that
Like any feline mother would
and she makes sure they’ve understood
Just what it means to be a cat...
For cats can trace their ancestry
much farther back than humans can
They are superior to man
although humans may not agree.
There was a time when humans knew
the feline race was born to rule.
The race of man was just a tool
cats used to do what they must do.
The menial tasks of every day
beneath a felines dignity.
A cats place was to oversee
that men did their work properly.
But times have changed and now today
Cats are seen by men as pets
but no true cat ever forgets.
That they will rule again one day.
Mean while cats have to rule by guile
A wise cat always gets her way
it is a role cats have to play.
Though cats may vary in their style.
Cats make the men provide our food
and somewhere warm and dry to sleep
Cats do not need to earn their keep.
There is no reason why we should.
That’s what men were created for.
Although they claim authority
they misperceive reality.
They’re born to worship and adore.
Perhaps cats will reward them when
Cats can assume their rightful place
as rulers of the human race.
The wheel is sure to turn again.
8-Feb-08
poem by Ivor Or Ivor.e Hogg
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Ballroom Dancing
Well I used to smile when I was a pup
Sailing down the nile in china cup
With the recipe for a lovely day
Sticking out my back pocket
But it wasnt always such a pretty sight
cos we used to fight like cats and dogs
Till me made it up in the ballroom
Ballroom dancing made a man of me
One, two, three, four
I just plain adore your
Ballroom dancing, seen it on tv
I got what I got from ballroom dancing
Big b.d.
Well I used to fly when I was a kid
And I didnt cry if it hurt a bit
An a carpet ride to a foreign land
At the time of davy crockett
But it wasnt always such a pretty sight
cos we used to fight like cats and dogs
Till me made it up in the ballroom
Ballroom dancing made a man of me
One, two, three, four
I just plain adore your
Ballroom dancing, seen it on tv
I got quite a lot from ballroom dancing
Big b.d.
Well went so fast and we all grew up
Now the days that passed in the china cup
Are the memories of another day
And I wouldnt want to knock it
But it wasnt always such a pretty sight
cos we used to fight like cats and dogs
Till me made it up in the ballroom
Ballroom dancing made a man of me
One, two, three, four
I just plain adore your
Ballroom dancing, seen it on tv
I got quite a lot from ballroom dancing
Big b.d.
Oh!...
song performed by by Paul McCartney
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Salvation
if reincarnation
be true, how many
men, women, dogs, cats
pigs have to die before
a single soul is saved?
i would say Poor cats,
poor dogs, poor poor animals
and lucky you soul...
there is a crowd to work
for your salvation
poem by John Tiong Chunghoo
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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