You are where you've been

You are where you've been.
Deciding that time would wait.
As you marinated in indecision.

You are where you've been.
Seeking the same acceptance,
As if this was a confirming reception.

You are where you've been.
Catching up with a made up mind...
Finding that times have changed.

You are where you've been.
And there is absolutely nothing,
That has remained the same.

And you giving in to what has begun,
Will not bestow upon you a patience...
From those empathetic with explanations,
Slowly participating in a show and tell.

That bling side of life you liked and kept polished...
Has been blemished by those ideals,
You hung onto too long.
And the fading of those times are gone.

You are where you've been.
Deciding that time would wait.
As you marinated in indecision.

You are where you've been.
Seeking the same acceptance,
As if this was a confirming reception.

You are where you've been.
Catching up with a made up mind...
Finding that times have changed.

poem by Lawrence S. PertillarReport problemRelated quotes
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With Acceptance As If Selected

Too convenient has been made a dropping that exists,
Of one's responsibilites on the shoulders of others...
To allow and permit.

Too convenient has it been made,
To do this and dismiss.
And too convenient are agreements,
Deciding to this.
With a leaving those in silence,
If they choose to resist.

Too convenient has it been made,
To do this and dismiss.
And too convenient are agreements,
Deciding to this.
With acceptance...
As if selected.

Too convenient has it been made,
To do this and dismiss.
Of one's responsibilites on the shoulders of others...
To allow and permit.

Just too convenient has it been made,
To do this and dismiss.
And too convenient are agreements,
Deciding to this.
With acceptance...
As if selected.

With a giving up of time as if no one should mind.
And with acceptance...
As if selected.
With a giving up of time as if no one should mind.
And with acceptance...
As if selected.
With a giving up of time as if no one should mind.

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I Don't Think So

I Don't Think So
We've been through this time together
AlI in my mind the love was so alive
Oh I never wanted for another
Then I saw the beginnings of a Iie
Good times and the bad times
Through the good times and the bad times with me
Good times and the bad times
Yeah I wonder why I never see
Good times and the bad times
Oh maybe there was always something wrong
Good times and the bad times
Did l wait too long
Chorus:
You said you'd love me for all of your life
I don't think so
Through the best of the best and the worst of the times
I don't think so
You said the world was a beautiful place
l don't think so
You swore the love was perfectly sale
I don't think so
People can only stay together
If in their hearts they know they can say what's on their minds
Would you say
Good times and the bad times
If it can't really be then I gotta move on
Good times and the bad times
Is it really time
Chorus: (repeat)
Said the check's in the mail and the maiI's on time
I don't think so
Said out of touch ain't out of mind
I don't think so
Couldn't live without me, and that's a fact
I don't think so
Love is real and it's not an act
I don't think so
Come on
Good times and the bad times
I don't think so
Good times and the bad times
Baby our love was a beautiful thing
I don't think so
Good times and the bad times
You said you'd love me for all of your life
I don't think so
Good times and the bad times
Through the best of the best and the worst of times
I don't think so
l don't think so baby oh baby oh baby come on
I don't think so
The love was right but the loving was wrong

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Said Before To Say It Again

On my mind are these times.
And I do find these times on my mind,
Hard to define.
With a keeping of those,
Feeling these times have them boxed in.

And on my mind,
There is a reason to seek rhythm and rhyme.
With my visions set,
On what it would take...
To increase my happiness.

I've said this before to say it again.

I'm not looking for stoppers,
To block as obstacles to hop over.
Or the welcoming arms of acceptance.
With a hope that they will open,
The gates to a fence to feel I've been approved.

On my mind are these times.
And I do find these times on my mind,
Hard to define.
With a keeping of those,
Feeling these times have them boxed in.

Acceptance or not,
I'm not looking to get out of a box.
Too many have found themselves there,
To argue over space,
With little of it that to share.

I've said this before to say it again.
Those feeling trapped,
Like it exactly like that.

Fresh is the air,
One dares to breathe alone.
Revitalized is an atmosphere,
When the clearing of a sky,
Becomes recognized to the one who looks...
To discover the vastness of it to become known.

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Indecision

INDECISION

by Cynthia B. Baello
July 5,2008

Annoying thing, this indecision-
Wry deceit, unjust vexation.
Waste of time and of attention,
Diverts one's thoughts,
Drains affection.

Creates a maze with one's own mind,
Directions, goals are hard to find.
Weigh the options,
And then rewind,
Not deciding
Is unkind.

------
'When we aim at nothing, we hit it
every time.'

Copyright
Cynthia Buhain-Baello
Philippines

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Travelled

Travelled the world a million ways,
Catching upon a familiar gaze
Everyone lives by do or die,
there's noone with time to laugh or cry
There's noone to tell us what we're living for.......
And though I try to be a good man,
I just know that I'll be losing very soon
And there are times and there are motions,
when I do believe I'm going out
of tune....oh..
I've been around a long,long while,
looking for sun to make me smile
Still multiplty the daily bread,
their thinking of lives for times ahead
It must be a mighty funny way to feel......
And though I try to be a good man,
I keep finding there's no where to begin
And so I think I'll go on singing,
and in time I hope that we can all join
in....oh..oh,oh,oh
Do,do,do,do,do,do
Do,do,do,do,do,do,do,do,do,do,do,do
Do,do,do,do,do,do,do,do,do,do,do,do
hmmm
La,la,la,la,la...

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A Hundred Times Over

A hundred times over words have flowed through my fingers to the keys
A hundred times over I have released the freedom that is in my mind,
A hundred times over I have become one with my inter most longing,
A hundred times over I have taken a journey to show you my own world.
A hundred times over I have written of pain and life, of sorrow and joy,
A hundred times over I have used my art to show you what's in my mind
A hundred times over again I will show you.
A hundred times over I have cried for those, whose names are untold,
A hundred times over I have showed you their pain.
A hundred times over I have become their connection to you,
A hundred times over I have showed you the beauty of our world,
A hundred times over I have taken you somewhere you may never see,
A hundred times over my words have screamed the horror of darkness,
A hundred times over I have sung to you the beauty of light,
A hundred times over I have taken your hand to lead you to a new place
A hundred time over I have written for those who have no words to write
A hundred times over I have tried to show truth in a world of lies,
A hundred times over I have have tried to show the world's beauty,
A hundred times over again I will lead down these paths,
A hundred times over and over again I will show you reality,
A hundred times over and over again I shall show you my world,
A hundred times over and over again until you have memorised truth,
A hundred times over again until you can repeat what I have told,
A hundred times over again shall I create an art of words, time, of life.
A hundred times over again I shall do this,
A hundred times over again.
A hundred times over.

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Peer Pressure, Identity, and Acceptance

Just not fitting in
Where's those people?
Is there anyone like me?
Am I supposed to be like them?
Just not fitting in

I want acceptance they don't want me
They want me to compromise
This isn't who I am
Who am I anyways?
It's only temporary.... right?
I can't lose myself cause I'm....well I'm me

I need acceptance they're like a distant dream
They're staring right through me
They're speaking to me out of sympathy
They see through my act
They see.... no they couldn't
Who are they anyways?
I guess I'll call them..... well, they're friends
They're all I got

I crave acceptance
The pangs of loneliness
No it's not that
Not quite
As much as I crave acceptance
I think deep down
I don't want to have to change
I think deep down
If I could speculate about myself
Deep down I want to be me
But who.... who am I? I can't remember or maybe....
Maybe there's nothing to remember

Just fitting in
Has changed me
Where can I get real acceptance
Would anyone just care about me even knowing that I was me?
I can't even love me, I don't want to feed me, I don't want to help me
Why would they?
Is there anyone who'd just want me, even if they knew it was me?

Acceptance
It's not just a commodity, it's a necessity
So I found acceptance
It took my life but I'd gladly give it up again
It's better that I no longer live
Well in the my old definition of life
This.... this is life
It's acceptance

I found acceptance with the one I deserved it from the least
Someone I never did anything for
One of my greatest enemies
That's why this acceptance
This forgiveness
This love
Changed me
From the inside
Out

I think I found part of me, I must show my friends
Or that's what I thought
Because the cruel reality of the world is that it
Denies us that one thing that we need to survive that one thing we crave
Acceptance
When I told them He loved me
I lost what little friends I did have
But I have more than I've had
Because I have

Acceptance

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Oh My

Well, Im struttin up and down
Tryin to get my face in town
Wonderin the hang where
To turn each time around
Look in your mirror just to see my face
Two way time, baby, its no disgrace
Oh my, how the times have changed
Oh my, how the times have changed
Ladies used to dancin but I move for real
Lookin for reaction, something you can feel
When ya dance,
I move and they look me in the eye
Two way time, baby, its no lie
*oh my, how the times have changed
Oh my, how the times have changed
*repeat
*repeat

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Reason For Living

I lie alone and thinking
How could this ever happen
Is it real, am I dreaming
And when your hearts been burned
How can someone learn
To get over their fears
You told me I should be strong
Oh, Im trying
I feel I cant go on
You left me here on my own
Without a reason for living
A chance for forgiving
Or time to make it okay
And now Im stuck with the vision of my indecision
Taking it all away
From me
With all the time youre taking
Slowly my hearts been breaking
Youve been fine, Ive been bleeding
Ill have to wait my turn
Your respect Ill earn
No more joking or teasing
You told me I should be strong
Oh, Im trying
I feel I cant go on
You left me here on my own
Without a reason for living
A chance for forgiving
Or time to make it okay (Time to make it okay)
And now Im stuck with the vision of my indecision
Taking it all away
A thousand times before Ive been almost sure
This time I need to know
Ive spent all my life chasing all my dreams
Im not letting this go
Yeah, ooohh
Laaaeeeyy
In my, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Yeah
Without a reason for living (Ooh)
A chance for forgiving
Or time to make it okay (Time to make it okay)
And now Im stuck with the vision of my indecision
Taking it all away
Without a reason for living
A chance for forgiving
Or time to make it okay (Time to make it okay)
And now Im stuck with the vision of my indecision
Taking it all away

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To Everyone's Delight

Blessings...
For peace and joy,
To come and visit!
Deciding to stay.
Knowing an acceptance,
Has been received.
And finding it welcomed.
Relieved!
To everyone's delight!
As all sat excited,
Sharing what has come...
To be given to them!

'Don't stuff yourselves...
There is plenty to go around!
For as much as you want,
When you want it.'

poem by Lawrence S. PertillarReport problemRelated quotes
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Time Bomb?

I think i love you
But thought too late
Now it looks like
I'll have to wait
But how long am i gonna have to wait for?

You've found another
And live with her
And now i hardly see you
But think of the good times that we shared
How long am i gonna have to wait for?

Will you ever come back to me?
And start what we never started
I feel it in my heart
Still feels new
Long am i gonna have to wait for?

You always seem glad to see me
An wanna spend more time
Like i wanna spend with you
No lies
Am i gonna have to wait for?

I made you happy
Didn't i?
But it never got that far
I gonna have to wait for?

Our friends said
We were made for each other
But we never saw it then
I see it now
As clear as i see your eyes
Gonna have to wait for?

Do you love her
You said you do
But do you really mean it
Does she feel the same
Have to wait for?

What's the answer
Going to be
Will i know
Or do i carry on
To wait for?

I just don't know
Wait for?

Running outta time
For?

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Other Job Descriptions Dished

Whatever it is that you do,
In your pursuit to avoid obstacles...
Do not assume I am also seeking,
Confusion.
I am not!

Or that I should have the patience,
Whenever you have decided...
To dance to another tune,
As often as you wish!
That kind of patience none I've got.

Dealing with indecision,
And those with mixed emotions...
May be depictions of other job descriptions dished!
But I have no agreement made to keep with you,
I would be the one to settle for anything you do.

In fact,
Your latest oral contract that places me on call...
As a default to your nonsense,
I advise you never to me repeat it.
Assume from my mind it has been deleted.

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Such As a Bad Habit

I've been on my own and alone for too long,
To know a few things about patience and life!
And those who have not had that experience...
Know very little about sacrificing their likes,
To endure putting up with unwelcomed dislikes.

There has been many things done I did,
That I disliked but tolerated.
In fact I hated going through the process.
And when I had the opportunity,
To do those things enjoyed and liked...
Not a moment did I waste in indecision.
I might have been confused...
But not crazed.

People who spend time whining,
Get on my nerves.
And I am quick to split away from them.
In mid-sentence,
If I have to do it!
I am not attracted to 'whoa-is-me' people.

My father use to tell me,
How as a child...
He had his teeth pulled,
Without novocain.
He told me this frequently...
Whenever I thought he was just around,
To make my life easier.

'Come on, Daddy!
It's just ten dollars! '

I am one of the fortunate ones,
I will admit that!
And with obstacles and setbacks...
I crawled back to get myself on track!
I wasn't about to spend my life,
Traumaticized by emotional ties!
Or gossip and lies...
Folks entertain themselves to tell!

My relationship with God...
Is close.
And we communicate very well!
God is there...
And delivers!

I don't give advice,
Or recommend what others do!
I use to...
Do that,
Often!
And ended up being screwed.
Figuratively speaking!
Even though it is still just as painful.

I've learned many lessons in my life.
And the hardest one was to forgive and forget.
At times I am visited,
With an embitterness that sits.
it takes a while to get over it.
But I am not going to soon let go of my peace of mind,
Or happiness.
Because someone wants to show and display,
Every bit of their ignorance.
With attitude seeking acceptance.

And those folks,
In some places...
Travel around in cliques.
As if what they do is fashionable.

And after one obtains a degree of consciousness...
Folks like that become easier to identify.
Such as a bad habit,
One has to end to quit...
And quick!
Like a fad that has been outdated.

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We 'Was' But Aint No 'Mo

What is your point?
I've already revealed,
Where my priorities are.
It is no secret.

You sought to be convinced.
And nothing done I could do,
Would prevent your determination.
You wanted me to choose.

I did.

You believed you were giving me a choice,
To make.
And I was then finding for you the time.
Valued not faked!

Now for you,
I am not finding time...
Or patience for explanations.
We 'was' but aint no 'mo!

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Dangerous Time

These are dangerous times
Nothing to care or die for
These are dangerous times
What you want, someone will buy for you
Don't get away
It's so easy to wait
You've been wearing the green
I've been wearing the fall
And you said that all was just agreed
But, don't get away
I saw a guy out on the street
Said, I know what you need, BOY
I can set you fine
I didn't buy his line, because
These are dangerous times
I don't want to get old
You say that everything's fine
Then you leave me standing in the cold
All alone
But, don't get away
It's so easy to fall
You've been trying to gain
I've been trying to stop
But it's catching up with me again
But, don't get away
These are dangerous times
It's a dangerous time

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The Time And Shadow

Sometimes you walk away never looking back,
Trying to call you wont hear me,
The shadows that remain in my thoughts,
The visions that my eyes do see,
The drum beats make me remember,
Walk a mile or even double up,
Run a mile, and run for a while,
The time and shadows, I will be waiting

Does it ever cross your mind,
The love that my heart longs to give,
My mind did picture your face,
Its you my instincts do testify,
Has it ever crossed your mind,
The man you leave behind,
Walking away when you needed most,
I am determinism, determinism is me
The times and shadows, i will be waiting

Within the twinkling of an eye,
You maybe several metres away,
My mind is certain what I adore,
To be domiciled in you heart,
Just as long as I stay,
The time and shadows, I will be waiting

The million whispers I make,
To be in my arms and finding peace,
Finding joy in the pleasure of my lips,
Making love under the stars,
Scream my name a million times,
Such is love, such is us
The wish of a man in summer,
To see the snow whiten up his roof,
Against all the odds is my heart,
To wait upon the pregnant dream,
The time and shadow, I will be waiting

The clouds are gathering, sweet one,
Who knows, one day you will be mine,
All the agony trenched and eroded,
Wishing water over the bridge,
So stupid but the shadows I see,
Tomorrow you might always be mine,
The time and shadow, I will be waiting

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You Changed My Life

You changed my life
Came along in a time of strife
In hunger and need
You made my heart bleed
You changed my life
You changed my life
Now the nature of man
Is to beg and to steal
Id do it myself
Its not so unreal
The call of the wilds
Forever at my door
Want me to fly like an eagle
Being chained to the floor, but
You changed my life
Came along in a time of strife
In hunger and need
You made my heart bleed
You changed my life
You changed my life
Eating with the pigs
Off a fancy tray
I was bold, I was looking good
And to have a nice day
It all seemed so proper
And so elite
Eating absolute garbage
While being so discreet.
You changed my life
Came along in a time of strife
In hunger and need
You made my heart bleed
You changed my life
You changed my life
You were glowing in the light
Being peaceably calm
Well, how often does a man dance
To the beat of the balm?
Your eyes were on fire
Your feet were of brass
In a world that you made
You were an outcast
You changed my life
Came along in a time of strife
In hunger and need
You made my heart bleed
You changed my life
You changed my life
Truce makers and partakers
Of every selfish whim
Her running to meet me running to her
And you running back to him
Their destruction of my confidence
Was like a sharpness of the tongue
I said: make my faith greater
But I was a little high strung
You changed my life
Came along in a time of strife
In hunger and need
You made my heart bleed
You changed my life
You changed my life

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Trying Times

[Talk:]
Baby I'm so glad your here
'Cause I have so many things to tell you
So many things to talk to you about
'Cause your the strength I hold onto
And I hope I'm the strength that you hold onto
So we can strive together and be perfect
Til' death do us part

The nights gone the morning here
And soon it's time to talk about
Where we stand and where we plan
To be in life long years I need to know
I keep crying tears of joy
I guess that's what you're put here for
To change these tears of pain
To tears of happiness

Through these trying times
trying to get the best of me
I'm still finding time to show I care
With my crying eyes
I see contentment because of you

Trials and tribulations build up walls
In front of faces made of stone
Yet we stand strong enough
To break the walls down to journey on
But I know if we just bond our hearts
There will be nothing that will stand in our way
And we'll be together forever and a day

Through these trying times
trying to get the best of me
I'm still finding time to show I care
With my crying eyes
I see contentment because of you

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My Saving Grace

Ive still got a lot to learn
But, at least I know where I can turn
When Im in my times of need
Just as long
(as I know all things are possible)
Just as long as I believe
Ive loved a lot, hurt a lot
Been burned a lot in my life and times
Spent precious years wrapped up in fear
With no end in sight
Until my saving grace shined on me
Until my saving grace set me free
Giving me peace
Giving me strength when id
Almost lost it all
Catching my every fall
I still exist because you keep me safe
I found my saving grace within you
Yes, Ive been bruised
Grew up confused
Been destitute
Ive seen life from many sides
Been stigmatized
Been black and white
Felt inferior inside
Until my saving grace shined on me
Until my saving grace set me free
Giving me peace
Giving me strength when id
Almost lost it all
Catching my every fall
I still exist because you keep me safe
I found my saving grace within you
And the bountiful things that you do
Lord thank you
For delivering me
And giving me peace
Giving me strength
Giving me hope when id
Almost lost it all
Catching my every fall
I still exist because you keep me safe
Always my saving grace
Pulls me through
I found my saving grace within you
(yes you are - youre my every, everything)
Within you...
(only, only you)
Yes lord
(only you)
My saving grace lord is
You

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You Know Its For You

I would die for you.
I have cried for you ,believe me girl.
Dont you think its time you made up your own mind?
All my loves for you.
All I dos for you.
Still I think its time you made up your own mind.
A melody, my symphony
You know its for you, love.
Its plain to see, its meant to be.
Now its up to you, love.
Still Ill wait for you.
Waiting just for you, dont leave me girl.
Dont you think its time you made up your own mind?
Love is here for you.
Love was made for you, believe me girl.
Dont you think its time you gave up?
You are mine.
La da da la dee da dee da-ee-a-ee-a-ee-a-ee-ah
La da da la dee da dee da-ee-a-ee-a-ee-a-ee-ah
Doo doo doo doo doo doo , you know its for you (repeat 4 more times + fade)

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