When I First Lost My Impatience

I felt dirty and betrayed,
When I first lost my impatience.
I felt...
Used and so unclean.
I knew I had been stripped,
Of an innocence I would never have again.

To be vicious, cruel and mean...
Was all I saw and knew,
As a child growing up...
To be exposed to seeing these scenes.
People were being cussed out and talked about,
For not sharing their potato chips! Seriously.

I didn't know exactly why,
My impatience had been taken away...
In the manner it was done.
But I grew to understand there was a purpose.
And even if I shared all my chips...
I can always buy another bag. I learned!

Today I have discovered,
I have more patience than I have ever had.
And some who have come to test me...
Are surprised I am not so quick,
To give them a taste of impatience.

I have found a life I am determined to live.
One with a peace of mind...
And freed from 'identified' evil people.
Patience taught me how to observe first,
With my mouth closed and ears open to listen.

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I 'Use' to Fetch to Catch Havoc

I 'use' to...
Fetch to catch havoc.
Like a trained pet taught,
To stretch obediently for patience.
You know...
The kind that teaches those lessons to learn,
And comprehend.
Better than the one,
Providing the instructions given...
With a required testing done at the end.

'You do what I say!
Or face the consequences of your ways.'

I 'use' to...
Be the one to get upset.
Whenever I noticed 'something' incorrect...
Being thrown to me to accept.
Without explanation that was direct.

'Young man?
Do you understand what I am saying? '

I 'use' to...
Be driven to anger!
When I knew what was handled,
Could have been more effective for me to get...
To the best of my expectations.

Well...
Today I have been cured.
With a chilling out that has matured...
That impatience I had with exposed incompetence.
And those frustrations that once had me in a rage.

'Don't look at me like I'm the one crazy! '

Today...
The peace inside me has been saved.
With an acknowledgement that I must 'first'...
Forgive myself.
Before another becomes amused by my outbursts.
And I now recognize those folks who wish to be entertained.

'Are you trying to test me? '

I 'use' to...
But my patience today is more contained.

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Franz Kafka

There are two main human sins from which all the others derive: impatience and indolence. It was because of impatience that they were expelled from Paradise, it is because of indolence that they do not return. Yet perhaps there is only one major sin: impatience. Because of impatience they were expelled, because of impatience they do not return.

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Franz Kafka

Perhaps there is only one cardinal sin impatience. Because of impatience we are driven out of Paradise because of impatience we cannot return.

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Perhaps there is only one cardinal sin: impatience. Because of impatience we were driven out of Paradise, because of impatience we cannot return.

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I'm Tired Of Giving It

I'm tired of giving it.
My patience and with love.
I'm tired of giving it,
Everything I need.
And no one gives to me.

I'm tired of giving it.
My patience and with love.
I'm tired of giving it,
Everything I need.
And no one gives to me.
It seems.

Time and understanding,
With an empathy that feeds...
I'm tired of giving it,
Everything I need.

A listening ear,
To comprehend my feelings.
Maybe I shouldn't even be near...
To have a dumping of a pity appear.

I'm tired of giving it,
My time.
I'm tired of giving it,
My patience.
Tired of giving it,
Empathy...
No one gives to me.

I'm tired of giving it,
My time.
I'm tired of giving it,
My patience.
I'm tired of losing my mind,
With a showing of impatience.

Tired of giving up,
Time.
Tired of giving up,
Patience.
I'm tired of hoping to find...
Some peace-of-mind.

I'm tired of giving it,
My time.
I'm tired of giving it,
My patience.
I'm tired of losing my mind,
With a showing of impatience.

Tired of giving up,
Time.
Tired of giving up,
Patience.
I'm tired of hoping to find...
Some peace-of-mind.

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Sonnet: In Despair Too, Hope Prevails

When things beyond my control do occur,
And fortune favors just the evil minds:
When my own people with me don’t concur,
My remnant patience to a halt well grinds.

The world is inimical to my deeds,
And evil seems to win Tho’ just for now;
When God has forgotten my long-felt needs,
My ignominy, I must undergo.

Though Hope may be replaced by Despair, still
The turning point of life for me is near;
Success is nigh and I’ll go for the kill;
My savior keeps me confident sans fear.

Nothing’s achieved when despair rules our hearts;
Impatience only ruins all our arts.

7-8-2002

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My Prayer at His Door

I will pray
Like all good people
and with them
Prayers to God
To only God
To only God
(my God
Allah
Means
The most beautiful
The most)

Please forgive me
Forgive my sins
That I know
And
That I do not know

Give me salvation
Give me happiness
Give me love
Give me safety
Save my world
Save my world

I just lost my patience
lost my patience
I broke down
with despair
Please
Forgive me
Forgive me

Forgive me
My love
I hurt you
with my beauty
& impatience
But I was right also
I told the truth

And you left me
A candle in the wind
My life and days
Burnt
Had hardships
Had big hardships
But God
Your Mercy is above all
ABOVE ALL
ABOVE ALL

REPENTENCE
SALVATION.

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Wasted Space

It was okay when you were being ignored,
Wasn't it?
And easy for them to say what they wished.
Wasn't it?
Because they didn't realize you knew about this.

And if you did,
They didn't care.
That's how much they weren't aware of you.
Or who 'you' knew.
Or who 'they' knew could turn their lives to dodo!
But you then and still...
Have a life you like.

Today,
They've discovered you have ignored them.
In total peace of mind you have found.
In fact...
Some have realized 'you' have ignored 'them' first!
How 'dare' you do that?
You know how that gossip gets around?

Rumor has it,
You now believe you are better than they are.
But that's not it at all.
You have always thought of them,
As small town busy bodies.
With nothing but time on their hands,
And nothing in their minds but wasted space.

Not only have you ignored them...
You've erased them from significance.
And you have no patience for them to discover that at all.

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The Horse's Mouth

You've learned something,
That had not been part of gossip.
You feel betrayed by this...
And confront reliable sources.
They are dumbfounded too.
They believed they knew more,
Than what they actually knew.
And they too feel betrayed,
By this.

They've all learned something,
That had not been part of gossip.
And all felt betrayed by this...
With no one left to confront.
And dumbfounded too.
How could this business done,
Skip by whispers and listening ears?
Not so reliable are those sources.

And those who had spread their lies with glee,
Awakened one day with this understanding...
They have no idea who anyone really is!
They have no idea...
Since the horse's mouth,
Had ignored for years...
All of their ears!

Since that horse,
Of course...
Few knew anything about,
Whenever that horse appeared.

You've learned something,
That had not been part of gossip.
You feel betrayed by this...
And confront reliable sources.
They are dumbfounded too.
They believed they knew more,
Than what they actually knew.
And they too felt betrayed,
By this.

The horse conducted its business,
Distant from their flapping lips!

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Do You Want This?

'Do you want this?
Come and get it.'

I slept with dreams.
And awakened as if they existed.
I awakened as if...
In my hands I held them.
To realize and never to let them drift.

'You want this?
What makes you think,
It will be made easy...
For you to touch and get.'

And I began to taste my dreams,
To me fed on a daily basis.
Years of impatience I knew too well.
Rushing to succeed...
Had me stumbling to fall.
I hated being teased.

'Do you or do you 'not' want this?
How else do you expect to get it? '

I could not shut that voice within up.
It seemed to taunt and I was beginning to have enough.
And then...
A process began within me slow.
Although my dreams and wishes would not let me go.
They were there holding onto me too tightly.

Slowly I began to seek teachings needed.
Gritting my teeth to qualify my desires.
And then one day I did awaken validated.
Feeling with a patience quite surprised.
And accepting what I had not realized.

'You want this? '

Yes.
Yes, I do.
I feel I am ready.
And I've got patience too.

'Good for you.
Now...
Just with a few more steps taken,
All that you wish...
Will eventually come true for you to exist.'

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Edward Sapir

Impatience translates itself into a desire to have something immediate done about it all, and, as is generally the case with impatience, resolves itself in the easiest way that lies ready to hand.

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Patience is the art of concealing your impatience.

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Patience Given

Patience given,
To those dealing with their insecurities...
Have several exceptions!

Patience given to a child,
Learning when and how to use a toilet.
Patience given to a child,
Going to school for the first time.
Patience given to a child,
Learning how to share.
Patience given to a child,
When left with a babysitter.
Patience given to a child,
When learning the difference...
Between telling a lie and being honest.
Patience given to a child,
When being taught to be responsible.

Patience given,
To those dealing with their insecurities...
Have several exceptions!
Extenuating exceptions beyond the call of reason,
Requires one to ignore with an ability...
That preserves a peace of mind one wishes,
To keep and maintain undisturbed...
By those who are,
Disturbed by their expectations to be exceptions...
To the rule.

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Learn the art of patience. Apply discipline to your thoughts when they become anxious over the outcome of a goal. Impatience breeds anxiety, fear, discouragement and failure. Patience creates confidence, decisiveness, and a rational outlook, which eventually leads to success.

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You Lost Me

You lost me
Like fermented palm wine
What sweetness there was
Now all tartness.

You lost me
Between the impatience of your fuss
And the fuss of your impatience

You lost me
At the fated fork
Where destiny must separate mentor and protege
When the silver cord that binds us
Snapped from your pace
And mine too
The one the cheetah
The other, the snail.

You lost me
When the frown on your face
Wilted the tender shoot of my esteem.

You lost me
When gold and silver tipped the scale
Against professed goodwill.

You lost me
Like congealed milk
Curdled for want of cuddle.

Hey, you lost me!
A million times today
In a million ways.

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So I Am Told

There is one thing some have yet to discover about impatience.
So I am told.
Less thought with implusive action...
Has a longer unexpected regret span of time,
To reflect upon wishing to have taken more patience!
After finding that having remorse,
Seems to endorse an activity of self infliction...
By an awakened consciousness.
Sitting to never go away.
Even with the aid of good medication...
So I am told!

This can not be taught.
So I am told.
It has to be experienced.
So I am told.
And somehow,
Eventually...
This lesson is learned.
So I am told.

And I wonder why it is I am...
The one this is often told?
Since I am not the one soliciting this advice,
From anyone!
I've got too much to do.
With little time to listen to such nonsense.

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Patience is the support of weakness; impatience the ruin of strength.

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With A Seeking Sought To Sit On A Rooftop

Sure,
I believe others should be heard.
With a speaking of their minds,
In expectations to be respected.

And if I had not earned the way,
To learn to do that on my own...
Knowing it had taken me,
Many years to discover that for myself...
I too would believe someone else,
Would be less deserving.
And I would 'still' be upset.

However...
I have never witnessed from my own observation,
The building of any structure on a foundation...
Erected without the skills of an architect.
And one day I awakened to realize,
The importance of those two elements...
Being connected.

And if it had not been,
For my experience with impatience...
Patience and I would not have ever met.

So I completely understand,
Anyone not comprehending that.
And...
With a seeking sought to sit on a rooftop,
Without the walls being installed yet.
I too have had wishes to climb a tree.
Until I found one that enabled me to do it.
And then I discovered,
There were taller trees too intimidating.

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A moment of patience can prevent a great disaster and a moment of impatience can ruin a whole life.

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One moment of patience may ward off a great disaster; one moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.

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