Trying A Way To Fit In
Every morning that I am blessed to have awakened,
I am in the classroom and prepared to be tested.
And if I didn't regard my life that way,
I'd be struggling with the feeling of failure
On a daily basis.
And
If I did not think or believe
I had an opportunity before me,
To improve upon my weak performances...
I'd be afraid to appear on stage
when I left my place of comfort.
Every morning.
However.
Before I do any of that.
And forget I am constantly teased and tempted,
By the trappings of life.
I express my gratitude to 'whatever' it is,
That has granted me 'consciousness' about this process.
Because I know if I didn't have it
I'd be rushing to a psychologist helping me find a way to fit in.
And I will not blame any of this craziness I've witnessed on God.
Even though an awareness of what is going on is inescapable.
And those trying a way to fit in,
To satisfy others with their accomplishments and possessions...
Seem not to be able to acquire happiness.
So glad am I.
When I discovered I could not purchase happiness after years of trying,
I was relieved.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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That Which Possesses My Life
It has been 24 years now,
That I decided to leave behind...
Every possession I had collected,
And had owned.
To be of comfort to someone else.
I had did this before,
Back in 1969.
For a similar reason,
That has blessed me...
With tremendous insight.
And I do..I can understand 'why',
People cling tightly onto what they possess.
It connects them with their existence to life.
And I am glad I've discovered...
I am life!
Not 'that' which I possess.
I awakened with a consciousness to that revelation.
And...
THAT which possesses 'my' life,
Awards me for expressing my gratefulness.
And so blessed I am to be aware of this connection.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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With A Happiness Attack
I awakened this morning,
With a happiness attack.
I wasn't sure what it was.
So I laid quietly on my back.
When I fell asleep last night,
I didn't expect to wake up...
Not like that!
And when I opened my eyes,
I was surprised to feel so good.
So the next thing I did,
Was to thank God...
Like I should!
Unexpectedly I received my 'gift',
Delivered from God...
As only God could!
I awakened this morning,
With a happiness attack.
I wasn't sure what it was.
So I laid quietly on my back.
Making sure it was not the nightmare...
Many have become addicted to share.
And I had left staring in disbelief,
That I was not grieving with it!
And leaving it there.
On the other side of my door,
Where it was abandoned...
The day before!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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So Difficult It Becomes Not To Diminsh Life
A mind that compares but is not there,
To evaluate or self examine...
Can not be held accountable,
For a thought process...
Those conscious expect and take for granted.
And those who are conscious,
Have discovered too few prepared...
With an awareness that has awakened,
To appreciate the benefit and value...
Of that which they have as a gift to nourish,
The broadening concept of comprehension.
A mind that compares but is not there,
To evaluate or self examine...
Can not be held accountable,
For a thought process...
Those conscious expect and take for granted.
With the shining of bling and other things,
Bringing into the mix the teasing of temptation...
So difficult it becomes not to diminsh life,
As an opportunity to feed our selfish whims.
With a dismissing of others,
Who do not join in with the fleecing...
Of a weakened and dieing golden lamb.
'It is not a dead horse.
No need to beat it.'
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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This Sensitivity Business
When I think of me and myself and I...
I am often quite surprised,
By the little attention I give...
To being that kind of guy.
I've been accused of being self centered,
Many times.
But nothing I have done can define me that way.
Although, I admit, I did one time 'try'.
I tried to feel that I am 'all' that.
I even got up one morning,
Promising myself no one else would matter.
Prepared with a list of accomplishments to announce.
With a printing of them on flyers so they would scatter.
Boring!
Within twenty-four hours other folks were on my mind.
After I spent a day observing 'them'.
And losing myself within creative intentions to complete...
Some activity that would influence the undoing,
A lack of concern and the misery many find.
Oh...
This sensitivity business,
Is not cool with me sometimes.
I often awaken thinking what it would be like,
To have only wining and dining on my mind all the time.
With a clock to beat...
Thinking of retirement as I laid on some beach.
And 'if' I didn't accept early in my life,
That it wasn't all about me...
I'd be contributing to complaints on a daily basis,
Doing that as my contribution to community outreach.
I'm blessed to hear from others...
I perceive much better off with time to do that.
Since I am blessed to be self centered free...
And not have limitation on my mind as a trap!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Happiness To Me
Does Happiness depend upon comfort? ’
The answer is definitely a big, ‘No! ’
Happiness lies in not comforts alone!
Happiness is not a static quality of the
human mind, body and soul.
All can’t remain happy all the time.
It would be foolishness to wish for a life,
filled with happiness alone;
Life could become boring, when happiness is prolonged.
Even A pauper can be happier than the prince.
Even A beggar smiles and sleeps well, despite much strife.
Happiness is a frame of mind that’s dynamic in nature;
Happiness is a kind of mood of feeling very well;
Happiness is a state of one, when life seems worth living;
Happiness is all within;
Happiness is in giving;
Happiness is in sharing;
Happiness does not depend on comforts;
Happiness cannot be bought by money;
Happiness is not all luxury;
Happiness is in being child-like, though adult;
Happiness is in sacrificing for others’ sake;
Happiness is in doing acts of charity;
Happiness is when you’ve led a righteous life.
Happiness to some is in dreams alone;
Happiness to some doing risky feats;
Happiness to a few is in a sheer lazy life;
Happiness to me is in loving.
poem by Richard Maginness
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Tested
Simplicity is what we need
And I know it in my heart
So many choices make us think we need
What we havent got
Ive been blessed by you
Ive been tested by an angel
Ive been blessed by you
And I know and I believe
Theres a way out to the sea of happiness
And if I knew what buddha taught
Would my wings unfold?
And if I had all that I want
Could I let it go?
Ive been blessed by you
Ive been tested by an angel
Ive been blessed by you
And I know and I believe
Theres a way out to the sea of happiness
Sometimes I feel like Im learning to crawl
Like Im still learning how to love
And sometimes I feel like Im losing it all
But I know there must be some way
We can rise above
Ive been blessed by you
Ive been tested by an angel
Ive been blessed by you
And I know and I believe
Theres a way out to the sea of happiness
And I know and I believe, and I know and i
Believe...
song performed by by Heather Nova
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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What Re-action From Me Do You Expect?
Observing...
With a giving to someone,
Undivided attention.
To listen as they reflect retrospectively,
A doing done to achieve their success.
This 'should' be an event to experience their happiness.
And not an opportunity for them to solicit empathy...
To pour from their hearts,
Highlighted aspects of their regrets.
As a forgiveness is mentioned for them to accept,
During a process of it being expressed.
But many find and discover,
Happiness is not one's ability to acquire possessions.
Or listening to someone confess this.
Since it is boring enough to watch them try,
To cry fake tears.
'You don't know how I wish,
Things between us had been different.'
~For what reason?
To experience the reality of feeling something real?
Or to relive your comments,
That I am not addressing my potential to impress.
Which thoughtless direction would you like to reminisce?
And what re-action from me do you expect? ~
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Success For Jon london
Deep down below your conscious mind
another different world exists
Where it is possible to find
discarded dreams you left behind.
Because you chose to chase success.
You put your cherished dreams on hold,
your only thought to make progress
Towards your goal of more not less.
The happiness you hoped to find
In truth was just another dream
You fell for lies which were designed
to cloud your clarity of mind.
They succeeded obviously.
You were seduced by greed into
a frame of mind which enviously
Demanded that you try to be.
The only winner in the race.
The man inspiring jealousy,
the leading man who set the pace.
Your one desire to hold your place.
Until the day you realise
Riches can not buy happiness
A thought which takes you by surprise
There is no room for compromise.
Success cannot be measured by
how much you earn and what you own
Such trappings cannot satisfy
the early dreams you let slip by.
The dreams you might have made come true
Ambitions that you left behind
are waiting still to welcome you.
Success is finding peace of mind.
So you resign from the rat race
There is no reason to compete
You do not need to hold first place
A simpler way of life is sweet.
You can rescue discarded dreams
and try your best to make them true.
Those youthful madcap crazy schemes
that you dreamt up belong to you.
You’ve wasted years amassing wealth.
Which never brought you happiness
Paid scant regard to your own health
when nothing mattered but success.
Although success can be defined
In different ways by different men.
For me success is peace of mind
Which I was glad to find again.
1-Mar-09
http: // blog.myspace.co./poeticpiers
poem by Ivor Or Ivor.e Hogg
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Do You Want This?
'Do you want this?
Come and get it.'
I slept with dreams.
And awakened as if they existed.
I awakened as if...
In my hands I held them.
To realize and never to let them drift.
'You want this?
What makes you think,
It will be made easy...
For you to touch and get.'
And I began to taste my dreams,
To me fed on a daily basis.
Years of impatience I knew too well.
Rushing to succeed...
Had me stumbling to fall.
I hated being teased.
'Do you or do you 'not' want this?
How else do you expect to get it? '
I could not shut that voice within up.
It seemed to taunt and I was beginning to have enough.
And then...
A process began within me slow.
Although my dreams and wishes would not let me go.
They were there holding onto me too tightly.
Slowly I began to seek teachings needed.
Gritting my teeth to qualify my desires.
And then one day I did awaken validated.
Feeling with a patience quite surprised.
And accepting what I had not realized.
'You want this? '
Yes.
Yes, I do.
I feel I am ready.
And I've got patience too.
'Good for you.
Now...
Just with a few more steps taken,
All that you wish...
Will eventually come true for you to exist.'
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Guess What?
Guess what?
When I discovered,
I could appreciate my own happiness.
Without feeling the guilt of being selfish,
Or self centered.
I began to do it with more consistency.
I was one who believed,
Doing for others came first.
To bust my butt for my brother!
Be dutiful and strong for my sister.
And so on and so forth.
You know...
That me for you,
You for me BS.
I am 62 years old.
And that kind of human spirit...
I have witnessed used infrequently.
And I can't be the only one...
Subjected to live in the valley of leeches.
Some folks are blessed to give with that sacrifice.
And this too I have learned...
You can not do enough for other people.
They will squeeze you dry of every emotion you have.
And then complain to anyone who listens...
About how 'you' think you are better than everyone else.
Guess what?
When I discovered,
I could appreciate my own happiness.
Without feeling the guilt of being selfish,
Or self centered.
I began to do it with more consistency.
And left those to say what they will,
Alone.
Because they will.
Whether they are alone or not!
Guess what?
I've also learned I can spend wonderful times,
Away from miserable people!
And I'm not saying 'all' are miserable.
Just the ones I enjoy being away from!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Just When I Need You The Most (feat. Alison Krauss)
(Randy VanWarmer)
You packed in the morning
I stared out the window
And I struggled for something to say
You left in the rain without closing the door
I didn't stand in your way
Now I miss you more
Than I missed you before
And now where I'll find comfort, God knows
'Cause you left me
Just when I needed you most
Yes, you left me
Just when I needed you most
Now most every morning
I stare out the window
I think about where you might be
I've written you letters that I'd like to send
If you would just send one to me
'Cause I need you more
Than I needed before
And now where I'll find comfort, God knows
'Cause you left me
Just when I needed you most
Yes, you left me
Just when I needed you most
You packed in the morning
I stared out the window
And I struggled for something to say
You left in the rain without closing the door
I didn't stand in your way
Now I love you more
Than I loved you before
And now where I'll find comfort, God knows
'Cause you left me
Just when I needed you most
You left me
Just when I needed you most
Oh, you left me
Just when I needed you most
song performed by by Dolly Parton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Startled
People are such mysterious creatures to observe.
When it's believed
Someone seen on a daily basis,
Has no worth they can detect.
That person becomes like them...
Driven by bad luck and circumstance.
They are comfortable with not taking chances.
And 'good luck' is what they express in doubt!
However...
When it is discovered someone seen on a daily basis,
Has, in fact...
Achieved accomplishments,
In front of them and not behind their backs!
They become quite startled that someone like that...
Could care less about the methods used,
Or who determines how success is measured to reflect
One's influence!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Duck, Bob and Weave
I am glad I had been an angered man.
Embittered and pretension free.
I'm glad I didn't waste my life chasing,
To have 'things' replaced by more things...
Needing to replace to show a false face.
And it bothers me.
People who do not trust their own instincts.
And then have claims to love God with faith.
Then take every opportunity they can to fake living.
As if on a constant exhibit.
I am glad I was visited by reality very early in my life.
Glad I am too...
To have gone through lots of nonsense.
Headaches, heartbreaks and emotional devastations.
I'm glad my daddy taught me how to box.
I had to defend my consciousness,
From many things thrown at me at once.
I know how to duck, bob and weave! '
That's for sure.
Give and take.
Forget and forgive and let live.
It isn't easy.
Well...
Let me say,
It has become 'easier'.
I dislike seeing people losing their lives.
And those 'things' they valued...
That brought them happiness.
Or whatever that is people think things do for them.
I dislike it.
It shows a detachment of sorts.
I've always been inquisitive!
And wanting my passions touched!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Less Involved In It
If you lived your life right,
Doing something on a daily basis...
You cared to do and liked.
Would I be the one still privy to your complaints?
Would you find more or less excuses,
To proclaim what I am not.
With accusations of what I ain't?
If you lived 'your' life right,
Would you be more inclined...
To restrain your draining,
Of any happiness others find!
Or will you discover,
Your mind has been confined?
And if you did live your life right...
Would you noticed what others did,
From morning until noon.
With your eyes fixed on their nights?
Or would you be too busy,
In the enjoyment shared with friends?
Giving and receiving,
That which you have yet to get...
To lend to blend in!
Because that life you 'say' you live,
Has you less involved in it!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Happiness Is Not Comforts
‘Does Happiness depend upon comfort? ’
The answer is definitely a big, ‘No! ’
Happiness lies in not comforts alone!
Happiness is not a static quality of the human mind, body and soul.
All can’t remain happy all the time.
It would be foolishness to wish for a life, filled with happiness alone;
Happiness is more when woes come in-between.
Happiness is just a feeling weird!
Life could become boring and monotonous, when happiness is prolonged.
Even the pauper can be happier than the prince.
Even the beggar smiles and sleeps well, despite much strife.
Happiness is a frame of mind that’s dynamic in nature;
Happiness is a kind of mood of feeling very well;
Happiness is a state of one, when life seems worth living;
Happiness is something strange that varies with time, experience and wisdom.
Happiness is all within;
Happiness is in giving;
Happiness is in sharing;
Happiness is the ceiling, whatever you fix!
Happiness does not wholly depend on comforts;
Happiness cannot be bought by money;
Happiness is not all luxury;
Happiness is abstract to the core!
Happiness is in being child-like, though adult;
Happiness is in making and seeing the less fortunate ones, smile;
Happiness is in acting adult-like, although a child
Happiness is in giving something to someone, although you still need it.
Happiness is in sacrificing for others’ sake;
Happiness is in giving up your chance to someone, who most needs it;
Happiness is in doing acts of charity;
Happiness is when you’ve led a righteous life.
Happiness to some is in dreams alone;
Happiness to some doing risky feats;
Happiness to a few is in a sheer lazy life;
Happiness to some is in yeoman service to mankind.
Happiness is a phenomenon;
Happiness is a quirk of fate;
Happiness is quite rare and scarce at times;
Happiness to some is in living in a virtual world!
Happiness is in braving the storms of life;
Happiness is in toiling for others’ sakes;
Happiness is in sharing your talents and ken;
Happiness is in loving your poor brethren.
Copyright by Dr John Celes 6-15-2008
poem by John Celes
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Greed
How much do you really want?
If you had it would it really solve your problems?
Do you realise the pain it causes
Struggling for something you may never get
How much would you sacrifice if I told you I could change your life?
You don't have to take on my advice
Don't do something that you might regret
How much do you really need?
Is it justified or is it greed?
If you satisfy your vanity
If you get to where you think you wanna go
How much is it gonna take?
Will you see it through or will you break?
Cos in the end what will you have to show?
Life can be lonely
When all you have are your possessions
Greed becomes your main obsession
Just take it slowly
If what you want ain't what you need
You've become a victim of your greed
How much do you really feel?
Can you recognise when something's real?
Do you live your life by fake ideals?
Do you think that one day you will get the chance?
What happens if you don't achieve
Will it be enough if you believe
You can just rely on destiny
Don't you know your fate is in your hands
How much is enough for you?
When you reach the top what will you do?
Will you look around for something new?
Without the destination will you carry on?
Will you try day after day
Pretend you don't hear what they say?
What would you do if all your pride was gone?
Life can be lonely
When all you have are your possessions
Greed becomes your main obsession
Just take it slowly
If what you want ain't what you need
You've become a victim of your greed
Cos material possessions ain't the world
(Ain't the world)
Nobody ever bought you happiness with diamonds or pearls
(Diamonds or pearls)
You've gotta look at this for what they really are
(What they really are)
Or you'll find yourself wanting more
Going way too far
Life can be lonely
When all you have are your possessions
Greed becomes your main obsession
Just take it slowly
If what you want ain't what you need
You've become a victim of your greed
Life can be lonely
Just take it slowly
If what you want ain't what you need
You've become a victim of your greed
Life can be lonely
When all you have are your possessions
Greed becomes your main obsession
Just take it slowly
If what you want ain't what you need
You've become a victim of your greed
Life can be lonely
Just take it slowly...
song performed by by Liberty X from Thinking It Over
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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(It's Like You) Never Left At All
Nobody can tell me I didn't try anything
I didn't know what to do to get over you
I tried magic and potions but I could not shake you loose
From my dreams, strange as it seems
It's like you never left at all
I guess I just can't forget you
It's like you never left at all
Somethin' inside me just won't let you go
Took a vacation for a month, maybe more
Made some new friends in places I've never been
But recuperation hasn't even yet begun
I'm still reachin' over for you when the morning comes
It's like you never left at all
I guess I just can't forget you
It's like you never left at all
Somethin' inside me just won't let you go
You're only illusion but you're standin' in my way
And you've got your life, it's a new life
But mine can't seem to change
It's like you never left at all
I guess I just can't forget you
It's like you never left at all
Somethin' inside me just won't let you go
Somethin' inside me just won't let you go
Somethin' inside me just won't let you go
song performed by by America
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Tested
Why should I express regret,
Or miss something as I applied my own sweat...
With the knowing in the doing of it,
Has been and is well done?
I did not spend years in repeating defeats.
To not learn from mistakes,
That enabled me to get up on my feet!
And those obstacles I did not seek.
I chose to put up a fight,
With a daring to be challenged.
I was not about to let my own fear,
Have the best of me to beat!
Why should I express regret,
Or miss something as I applied my own sweat...
With the knowing in the doing of it,
Has been and is well done?
That's why it was there for me to do,
In the first place.
I never sought to accomplish that which was easy.
What would be the point of my being proud,
If doubt was heard constantly coming out of my mouth?
I did not spend years in repeating defeats.
To not learn from mistakes,
That enabled me to get up on my feet!
Why should I express regret?
I hope to have been instrumental...
In leaving inspiration left.
Instead of the negativity I had to face,
On a daily basis that tested my faith!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Never Left At All
Written by randy goodrum, 1984
Found on perspective.
Nobody can tell me i didn't try anything
I didn't know what to do to get over you
I tried magic and potions but i could not shake you loose
From my dreams, strange as it seems
It's like you never left at all
I guess i just can't forget you
It's like you never left at all
Somethin' inside me just won't let you go
Took a vacation for a month, maybe more
Made some new friends in places i've never been
But recuperation hasn't even yet begun
I'm still reachin' over for you when the morning comes
It's like you never left at all
I guess i just can't forget you
It's like you never left at all
Somethin' inside me just won't let you go
You're only illusion but you're standin' in my way
And you've got your life, it's a new life
But mine can't seem to change
It's like you never left at all
I guess i just can't forget you
It's like you never left at all
Somethin' inside me just won't let you go
Somethin' inside me just won't let you go
Somethin' inside me just won't let you go
song performed by by America
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sensations
I am always 'here'...
Like the consciousness,
Keeping me aware!
With a vision clear.
I am not one,
To select fast exits.
Or seeking just fun!
Like the choice made by some.
I am not that kind...
To take for granted my 'gifts'
The ones that God has blessed me with!
To be part of this creation is bliss.
Especially when time is not mine to define!
I am here to accomplish.
I am here to succeed.
I am not here to stunt my growth...
Like some I see drifting,
As if tumbleweeds!
Always 'here' it appears.
And my purpose is clear,
As I reach to do my best!
Feeling blessed and tested,
On the path I walk...
Sometimes I am faulted,
But never do I think to halt!
Or rest,
To contemplate burdens,
Laid upon my chest!
I am always 'here'...
Like the consciousness,
Keeping me aware!
With a vision clear.
I am not one...
Teased by temptations that come.
To select fast exits.
Or seeking just fun!
Like the choice made by some.
Those who find they must stay on the run!
I am not that kind...
To take for granted my 'gifts'
The ones that God has blessed me with!
To be part of this creation...
Is my bliss,
That anoints me with sensations that fit!
With an understanding,
Of why I am allowed to be here.
To exist as I do...
Knowing the 'who' of me like this!
And with God beside me,
To assist me through!
Being here in the now...
Is the mood I choose!
I am always 'here'...
With God close to me near!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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