The Reality Which Is My Life
As I age,
Most of my decisions...
Have become easier to make.
Especially when it comes to living,
The reality which is my life.
And the one others have created,
With lies that are spiced.
And laced with eye popping controversy,
I would never consider doing...
In my most exciting days.
But listening to others,
What it was that I had supposedly done...
I've learned to keep my mouth closed,
Knowing privately I would think this was fun.
However...
As I age and reminisce,
How I've been focused and devoted...
To accomplish with a doing free of nonsense.
I must admit there have been days that I have hinted,
Of not knowing what it was I wished to do.
With a hoping someone would volunteer,
Something outrageous...
They heard through gossip too!
'Did you hear what he did now? '
No!
He who?
And what did he do?
'That Larry Pertillar.
Do you know him? '
No,
I've never met him.
'Me either.
But I am told he has preferences.'
NO!
You're kidding?
Oh please share.
And don't leave out the details.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
Kicking Roses
Privately we share similar interests.
And I agree with your thoughts totally.
Although...
Since I've been told I play the role,
Of the villain so well...
I only speak of kicking roses publicly.
And between you and me...
I have too high of a regard,
For anything that has a delicious beauty.
But will prick quickly if unconsciously picked.
I've learned to satisfy.
With some tough lessons learned.
And a fool?
I am not.
However,
I must admit...
When focused and in 'character',
I can chill anyone to the bone.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Proclaiming Preferences
Feeling a bit threatened,
By those proclaiming preferences?
Only to then become offended,
When you have been omitted...
From being a preference one admits.
How traumatic?
And why is this?
One at first feeling threatened,
Should now feel relieved.
But noooo!
They decide they would like,
To taunt those proclaiming them.
Especially if those preferences,
Has anything to do with sex.
And those choices that have been expressed...
Does not include them as addressed.
It was only when those preferences were announced,
Did those previously minding their own business...
Went about doing what they normally would do.
Snooping between gossip hops.
With an attempt to acquire details...
About who does what with what they've got.
Then one day those with preferences,
Unlocked their doors and came out of closets.
And caring less who passed judgement on them.
They sought a happiness.
From lifestyles that had one time or another,
Had them feel both closed and trapped in.
Now today...
Those with old gossip,
Have nothing to say.
If fact they seem embittered...
To stay in relationships,
Daring to admit...
Their own activities,
Have long skipped over...
And beyond a 'curiousness'.
'What's the matter?
You look upset.'
~That 'misfit' told me,
I was not desirable...
On a kept preference list.
Can you believe this?
And I 'know' I am desirable...
IF I decided to choose to be!
And IF I wanted to be selected and picked.~
'Selected and picked?
For what? '
~You know.
For 'whatever' it is...
Those two over there are doing.~
'What are they doing? '
~You can not see what they are doing?
Look at them...
Closely.
And how they are looking at each other,
With 'those'...eyes.
And...
Out in public.
I am highly offended AND appalled.~
'What are you talking about? '
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Slipping Under The Radar
What he has managed to achieve and accomplish,
To us has made no sense.
'Why doesn't it? '
From what we have heard about him,
And from reliable sources too...
All he has ever done was waste valuable time.
As well as his gifts and talents he has not used.
'Well...
It is obvious to me,
He knew more about himself...
Than the others believed.'
But how could he manage to achieve and accomplish,
With a slipping under the radar to go undetected...
As he has successfully done?
With a collecting of his own set of fools.
'Perhaps he was not concentrating on the rumors.
And feeding them to everyone to entrap for fun.
Knowing that the doing of this...
Would one day have him shining in the Sun.'
He has not played fair,
In the eyes of those who chose to belittle him.
Proclaiming he was delusional.
Amounting to nothing with a going nowhere.
'He did not play fair?
I think he played it just right.
Whose mouths have been silenced?
And whose lips have been closed tight? '
So...
What should 'we' do about the rumors?
'WE?
Don't get 'me' involved in this.
He didn't make me look like a fool.
I verify 'all' of the gossip I hear.'
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Make Me Believe
Throw away my dreams
This fight for my life isnt getting behind me
And Ive been told to scream
Where no one can hear me, it doesnt mean nothing
So make me believe
Just take me away from this hell Ive created
And Im afraid
Im breaking my own vows knowing Ill go down in flames
I know this cant be right
Theres got to be something more that I can live for
And I can only hide
Inside of this sickness for so long again
So make me believe
Just take me away from this hell Ive created
And Im afraid
Im breaking my own vows knowing Ill go down
Make me believe
Just take me away from temptation thats calling me
And Im afraid
Im breaking my own vows knowing Ill go down in flames
Running in circles
Confusion is calling my name
Hiding inside of this poisoning madness again
Im tired, Im broken
Im walking along with the dead
Will I ever feel like I once did?
So make me...
Make me believe
Just take me away from this hell Ive created
And Im afraid
Im breaking my own vows knowing Ill go down
Make me believe
Make me believe
Make me believe
Im breaking my own vows, knowing Ill go down in flames
song performed by by Godsmack
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Everlasting
Gone are days of wondering
If love would ever come my way
Gone are the day of hoping
Someone special would come my way
Gone are the days of misery
Of not knowing when or where
Gone are the days of heartaches
Trying to find someone’s life to share
Now that I have found her
I know our love is everlasting
9 Aug 1995
poem by David Harris
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Knowing Me, Knowing You
No more carefree laughter
Silence ever after
Walking through an empty house, tears in my eyes
Here is where the story ends, this is goodbye
Knowing me, knowing you (ah-haa)
There is nothing we can do
Knowing me, knowing you (ah-haa)
We just have to face it, this time were through
(this time were through, this time were through
This time were through, were really through)
Breaking up is never easy, I know but I have to go
(I have to go this time
I have to go, this time I know)
Knowing me, knowing you
Its the best I can do
Memries (memries), good days (good days), bad days (bad days)
Theyll be (theyll be), with me (with me) always (always)
In these old familiar rooms children would play
Now theres only emptiness, nothing to say
Knowing me, knowing you (ah-haa)
There is nothing we can do
Knowing me, knowing you (ah-haa)
We just have to face it, this time were through
(this time were through, this time were through
This time were through, were really through)
Breaking up is never easy, I know but I have to go
(I have to go this time
I have to go, this time I know)
Knowing me, knowing you
Its the best I can do
song performed by by ABBA
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Acknowledging My Sentiments
I've been too long at this...
Not to know what it is that I am doing.
I make it my business to comprehend.
With a listening done that is focused.
And with an empathy that is felt.
If someone doesn't understand,
Or appreciate my motives...
I am the last one it may dawn upon,
To evoke my own mental commotion.
I'm not devoted to my ego on those terms.
I've been too long at this...
Not to know what it is that I am doing.
I make it my business to comprehend.
With a listening done that is focused.
And with an empathy that is felt.
And acknowledging my sentiments,
Has a lot to do with the exquisite friendship I have...
That I early in life came to face and embrace,
With both truth and honesty.
I'm not devoted to my ego!
However...
There is an understanding given to its limits.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Reality Shows Tells Us Gossip
In this planetary dream
we have gossip which can get extreme.
It puts us in a more living hell
for people on reality shows have to tell
tell something bad to bring up the ratings
do something drama filled to be degrading.
But this puts us all into more of a living hell
we don't know this but we learned it well.
We learned when we where young
when our lives had just begun.
We learned to gossip to make us feel better
by listening to adults go on about people to the letter
Gossip gets old really fast—
ruined relationships that never last.
Why not more funny shows—
the kind where there are actors that nobody knows.
There is of course these shows that make you think
not hearing about someone else's stink.
Written By Christina Sunrise on March 8,2012
poem by Christina Sunrise
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Days
- Album: Reality
- Lyrics and music by David Bowie
Hold me tight
Keep me cool
Going mad
Don't know what to do
Do I need a friend?
Well I need one now
All the days of my life
All the days of my life
All the days I owe you
All I've done
I've done for me
All you gave
You gave for free
I gave nothing in return
And theres little left of me
All the days of my life
All the days of my life
All the days I owe you
With redeyed pain I'm knocking on your door again
My crazy brain in tangles pleading for your gentle voice
Those storms keep pounding through my faded heart
I'll play your sooth my sorry soul
All the days of my life
(All the days of my life)
All the days of my life
(All the days of my life)
All the days I owe you
All the days of my life
(All the days of my life)
All the days of my life
(All the days of my life)
All the days I owe you
All the days of my life
(All the days of my life)
All the days of my life
(All the days of my life)
All the days I owe you
All the days of my life
song performed by by David Bowie
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Flipped To Sit On Minds
Mister Pertillar?
Are you as fantastic as those rumors,
I 'use' to hear you to be?
'Well...
Yes,
Of course!
Why?
Do you believe I should updat them?
Since these days...
Hardly anyone says 'fantastic' anymore.
You have any suggestions?
I've already used 'dope', 'sick'...
And 'flipped to sit on minds'.'
I haven't heard that one before.
'You're kidding.
I started out with that one.
I'll give you twenty dollars.
Go to the nearest bustop.
Use your cellphone.
Pretend you're talking to someone...
And say,
'Who?
Who is FLIPPED TO SIT ON MINDS?
You're kidding?
Lawrence who?
Pertillar?
Keep repeating it,
Until you are satisified...
You have annoyed everyone within listening distance.
That should do it.
I wondered why I hadn't gotten any rolling of the eyes,
Of late.
My friend,
You are a blessing in disguise! '
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Making Decisions
We make decisions.
Some of them quick.
Some of them split.
Some of them mixed,
With a wish to quit...
Making decisions we have to admit!
We make decisions.
Some of them quick.
Some of them split.
Some of them mixed,
With a wish to quit...
Making decisions we have to admit!
How often does a hindsight renew,
A clearer vision wished we had then used.
How often do we then excuse this...
As mistakes we've made,
Too late to shake away.
To turn around unphased,
Just to have things our way!
We make decisions.
Some of them quick.
Some of them split.
Some of them mixed,
With a wish to quit...
Making decisions we have to admit!
How often does a hindsight renew,
A clearer vision wished we had then used.
While making decisions wearing the same old shoes.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Stung
Lies.
My lies.
My lies.
I learned to quick admit them.
Lies.
My lies.
My lies.
I learned to quick admit them.
When I was young I said I was stung by a bee.
And I was told not to go where I shouldn't be.
And then I 'fibbed' thinking this would benefit.
And right away my mama punished me for it...
'Cause I led.
Lies.
My lies.
My lies.
I learned to quick admit them.
Lies.
My lies.
My lies.
I learned to quick admit them.
My mama struck me and my lips went out poked.
She said don't ever lie and she was no joke.
And I cried.
I cried.
I cried.
My mama stung and I was punished...
From lies.
Telling lies.
My lies.
My mama stung and I was punished...
From lies.
Telling lies.
My lies.
And I learned quick to admit them!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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I Could Not Be More Thrilled
Where I am,
With my life as it has been lived...
I could not be more thrilled about it.
To be gifted with talents,
And them to share and give...
Is a rewarding experience,
Only those who do this...
Know what that feeling is.
It is not about fame or fortune at all.
Or adulation received,
As one stands on a stage...
To listen and hear appreciative applause.
It's about knowing oneself,
And being grateful about it too.
So many live their lives...
Not knowing who they are or what to do.
Unhappy with their decisions made.
And wanting others to pay for their choices,
They pursued.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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I've Been Listening to You Bitch
How do I know what makes you happy?
I've been listening to you for years.
I've been listening to you...
Sharing your agony and fears.
I've been here listening.
And I have not been distant.
I've been listening to you bitch.
And spending a lot of my time,
Doing it.
How do I know what makes you happy.
I know what doesn't.
And knowing that,
Is enough for me to know,
It is time for me to leave.
And 'if' that doesn't make 'you' happy...
Maybe knowing I am gone,
Will make you as thrilled...
I hope.
Even if only half as much,
As I know I am going to be!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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One Never Knows
One never knows,
What 'truths' are left standing.
When so much depends,
Upon lies...
Told,
And shattered!
One never knows,
If beliefs...
Are myths of schemes.
Or what exists,
Is reality...
One should ponder.
One never knows,
What heartbreaks await them.
Or what it takes,
To escape fear...
Of a life,
Still held dear!
Simple are those days,
Long gone.
With hopes and dreams wished.
Held on to keep them lingered.
Remembering days missed,
And reminisced.
Are like gifts to those who choose them.
Since they seem not to change.
One never knows,
If beliefs...
Are myths of schemes.
Or what exists,
Is reality...
One should ponder.
As they wander!
One never knows,
What heartbreaks await them.
Or what it takes,
To escape fear...
Of a life,
Still held dear!
Simple are those days,
Long gone.
With hopes and dreams wished.
Held on to keep them lingered.
Remembering days missed,
And reminisced.
Are like gifts to those who choose them.
Since they seem to never change.
One never knows,
What 'truths' are left standing.
When so much depends,
Upon lies...
Told,
And shattered!
Although,
This does matter...
To those,
Who choose life...
Just to bloom.
And to grow!
Living a life,
As it is...
Wrong or right.
Who can say...
They,
Really 'know'!
Who lives life as it is...
To say,
They know?
Who can say...
They know?
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I Keep Hoping
As I gather my thoughts
With the pieces of my heart
Tell me, how long is forever
Im not afraid and I wont be torn apart
Weve had our time together
Now I make my new beginnings
Ill start again at any cost
Ive learned a lot from losing you
But Ive got nothing if Im lost
And I keep hoping
And I still believe in love
If I wait long enough
I know Ill be strong enough
Yeah, I keep hoping
I believe in faith and trust
Im gonna find a way
There are better days still ahead of us
I keep hoping
Now this candle burns low
It wont last through the night
But Ive found peace
And I know its all right
I try to understand
Whats been missing in my life
Between the darkness and the daylight
No Im not expecting miracles
Ive got my doubts like any other one
Ive learned a lot from losing you
But Ive got nothing if Im lost
And I keep hoping
I still believe in love
If I wait long enough
I know Ill be strong enough
And I keep hoping
I believe, I believe in faith and trust
There are better days, better days, around of us now, still ahead of us, aaah
I keep hoping, I keep hoping
I keep hoping
I keep hoping and praying baby, oooh
And I still believe in love
I keep hoping, I keep hoping baby, oooh
Im gonna find a way
I keep hoping, I keep hoping baby
There are better days, ooh, better days
I keep hoping, hoping and praying
And I still believe in love
I keep hoping, I keep hoping
I keep hoping . . .
song performed by by Foreigner
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Controversy
I just can't believe all the things people say - Controversy
Am I black or white? Am I straight or gay? - Controversy
Do I believe in God? Do I believe in me? - Controversy
Controversy Controversy
I can't understand human curiosity - Controversy
Was it good for you? Was I what you wanted me to be? - Controversy
Do you get high? Does your daddy cry? - Controversy
Controversy Controversy
Do I believe in God? Do I believe in me?
Some people wanna die so they can be free
(I said) Life is just a game
song performed by by Prince from Controversy
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Happy Birthday Daddy Larry
86 years old,
Today my Daddy Larry...
Would have celebrated on this day.
He and I had a unique relationship.
We weren't particularly close.
And yet,
A closeness existed.
He and I were so much alike.
But he never did scold me,
Since my mother Edna did that...
To keep my steps on a path walking right.
When I was young,
My daddy was called Lawrence.
I was then Larry junior...
With my own presence known.
Then when I became of age,
He wanted to be called 'Larry'.
And I thought, 'How could he do this to me?
Moving in to claim 'my' territory.
I became Lawrence 'S'...
Back in 1971.
And when I discovered on his birth certificate,
He was Lawrence 'A'?
I had not known that up until that day.
And AS I grew...
Knowing my daddy would soon pass away?
I told him I loved him.
And he looked at me as if to say,
'I wish I had more time! '
That was back in 1988,
Days before my Daddy Larry...
Would from us pass away.
And on this day, December 11th 2010...
I miss my daddy very much.
With a more understanding of him,
And who he was.
Feeling his presence is near.
And we are closer now than ever.
Just because...
That is the way it is!
Happy Birthday, Daddy Larry!
Dedicated to the memory:
Lawrence Pertillar, Senior...
My father.
'Miss you, daddy.'
Love,
Lawrence ('Larry') ...lol
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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In Between Those Moments Gone
In between those moments gone,
And those wished to be...
I finally realized,
I can not continue to analyze my life.
It has to be lived.
In the time given I am living it!
This life!
My life.
And right I wanted it.
Free of tricks and traps.
No more patience could I give to that!
In between those moments gone,
And those wished to be...
I had to let go!
From the redoing of the 'what ifs'.
And the sitting with emotions reminisced,
To feel them still existing.
'Something' had to end.
I knew it was 'my' resisting.
And...
In between those moments gone,
I learned how to begin to believe...
In me!
And severing myself away from conflict,
Was no longer a question welcomed to visit.
It became my duty.
My reality.
To free my soul.
In between those moments gone,
And those wished to be...
I knew I had to maintain and hold onto my dreams.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Free
One day we'll be free.
We'll not be lost.
Worry free when we've paid the final cost.
To live in perfect harmony,
with no need to feel sorry.
We'll have done the job.
Having not been robed.
Of all the beautiful things given by God.
Freedom just for what he dealt.
Knowing of such love, my heart does melt.
Freedom from the days of guilt.
That makes your soul feel weak and wilt.
How I long for these days of glee.
Knowing that we're finally free.
So take my hand and come with me.
Together we'll strive, looking to find.
This place that's so divine.
Finally free from all this grind.
Living with love and all that's kind.
poem by Michael McParland
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