Such As a Bad Habit
I've been on my own and alone for too long,
To know a few things about patience and life!
And those who have not had that experience...
Know very little about sacrificing their likes,
To endure putting up with unwelcomed dislikes.
There has been many things done I did,
That I disliked but tolerated.
In fact I hated going through the process.
And when I had the opportunity,
To do those things enjoyed and liked...
Not a moment did I waste in indecision.
I might have been confused...
But not crazed.
People who spend time whining,
Get on my nerves.
And I am quick to split away from them.
In mid-sentence,
If I have to do it!
I am not attracted to 'whoa-is-me' people.
My father use to tell me,
How as a child...
He had his teeth pulled,
Without novocain.
He told me this frequently...
Whenever I thought he was just around,
To make my life easier.
'Come on, Daddy!
It's just ten dollars! '
I am one of the fortunate ones,
I will admit that!
And with obstacles and setbacks...
I crawled back to get myself on track!
I wasn't about to spend my life,
Traumaticized by emotional ties!
Or gossip and lies...
Folks entertain themselves to tell!
My relationship with God...
Is close.
And we communicate very well!
God is there...
And delivers!
I don't give advice,
Or recommend what others do!
I use to...
Do that,
Often!
And ended up being screwed.
Figuratively speaking!
Even though it is still just as painful.
I've learned many lessons in my life.
And the hardest one was to forgive and forget.
At times I am visited,
With an embitterness that sits.
it takes a while to get over it.
But I am not going to soon let go of my peace of mind,
Or happiness.
Because someone wants to show and display,
Every bit of their ignorance.
With attitude seeking acceptance.
And those folks,
In some places...
Travel around in cliques.
As if what they do is fashionable.
And after one obtains a degree of consciousness...
Folks like that become easier to identify.
Such as a bad habit,
One has to end to quit...
And quick!
Like a fad that has been outdated.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Related quotes
Duck, Bob and Weave
I am glad I had been an angered man.
Embittered and pretension free.
I'm glad I didn't waste my life chasing,
To have 'things' replaced by more things...
Needing to replace to show a false face.
And it bothers me.
People who do not trust their own instincts.
And then have claims to love God with faith.
Then take every opportunity they can to fake living.
As if on a constant exhibit.
I am glad I was visited by reality very early in my life.
Glad I am too...
To have gone through lots of nonsense.
Headaches, heartbreaks and emotional devastations.
I'm glad my daddy taught me how to box.
I had to defend my consciousness,
From many things thrown at me at once.
I know how to duck, bob and weave! '
That's for sure.
Give and take.
Forget and forgive and let live.
It isn't easy.
Well...
Let me say,
It has become 'easier'.
I dislike seeing people losing their lives.
And those 'things' they valued...
That brought them happiness.
Or whatever that is people think things do for them.
I dislike it.
It shows a detachment of sorts.
I've always been inquisitive!
And wanting my passions touched!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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I've Heard Those Old Stories Told
'Everything' about me you see...
My Father God,
Has taught to me.
I've heard those old stories told,
About what folks have done...
To make my life easy and comfortable.
Especially told to others who did not know.
And who did what...
When I got myself into ruts.
'God...
I am so glad You know the real deal! '
And I wonder 'who' that might have been?
That came to my aid when I needed them.
Hmmm...
It's true,
I have had folks give me 'things'.
And money loaned I paid back.
I've had people to me make promises.
And I remember every one of them broken...
From the time I was a kid!
Hmmm...
I can't remember anyone,
Motivating my moves!
Only You,
My Father.
I could say my entire life has been spent...
With me doing the giving.
And to a degree that would be true.
Since several people I have known...
Have told lies.
That's all they did and still do.
And I use to listen to a whole lot of BS.
With attempts I made to correct some mess.
Do I now?
No!
'Everything' about me you see...
My Father God,
Has taught to me.
And the biggest lesson I have learned to date?
Do not hesitate in the waiting of others to approve!
You'd be a dried up old prune in the doing.
If you've been blessed with a gift,
You better give it and be done with it!
And let whoever say whatever!
Give folks who gossip some fuel,
To keep their lips moving.
And doing something bizarre...
While you're at it!
Learn to live without restrictions and limitations.
You and your time are not defined by those mindless.
Unless you let it!
Then whose truth do you ultimately live?
It wont be mine because I have my own to live!
Although I do give folks credit where it is due.
Like being witnesses...
To the gifts God has given to me.
That's it!
Anything else folks would like to claim...
Did not occur on my watch.
But I do understand,
Why some folks like to associate themselves...
With those who struggle through and win,
Their battles and conquer over grief!
Thank You God, Almighty!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Not Sitting Around Waiting to Be Examined
Folks who wish they knew more about others and don't...
Say those like this are 'complicated'.
Nothing is complicated about someone who lives an active life.
Folks find them 'complicated' for this reason...
They are not sitting around waiting to be examined.
Although they may be gossiped about...
Very few of them are living lives with issues!
And if they do...
They seem to move on with them being handled.
Without communal get togethers.
On the other hand,
Folks who claim to know what's going on...
Will say they are not interested in politics.
But can tell you who did what to who and when,
Next door and down the block.
Their noses aren't going to travel too far!
That wouldn't be to the best of their interest.
And self indulgence is their main priority.
People on missions to get things done,
Are not in one place to be observed.
And they aren't living to receive acceptance.
They are here to achieve.
Not bleed another heart!
Or found huddled in groups,
Prepared to victimize one of their own kind.
For being disliked.
So disliked that person can not be ignored.
That person has to be agitated into conflict!
Unfortunately,
There aren't too many people like these.
People on the move...
With things to get accomplished.
Things they want to get done and do.
Those 'programmed' to be far less complicated!
And quick to ruin themselves.
And their quality of life...
By not paying attention to the decline of it!
Leave evidence and facts of that in abundance!
And they are hopeful President Obama produces a magic wand!
~He 'needs' to produce,
A Department to Combat the Onset of Mental Diseases.
And their long range affects on a programmed mindset! ~
That title is too long.
They are already accusing him of being too intelligent.
For a Black man...that is!
Even under a microscope,
They are trying to uncover his flaws.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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With Their Wishes To Be 'Freaky
I think I've been called,
Every derogatory name there is.
When I was a kid that use to bother me.
Especially those names I couldn't spell.
I had at one time collected them.
To see which ones I preferred.
So...
To entertain,
I admit I then did some things that were strange.
Many years have passed,
And even today I'm considered 'eccentric'.
As if I did not spend my life pursuing this!
Status quo folks bore me to tears.
With their 'normal' way of doing things...
'Whatever' today people consider that 'is'.
And as I reach to seek for more challenges,
I realize I've almost outdone myself.
Believing I was made to test the waters,
Before anyone else.
And a few have sought me out to give advice.
With their wishes to be 'freaky' without paying the price.
'Back off!
I've earned this! '
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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What Is Brought to This Table
What is brought to this table
Is experience.
Don't ask me what I bring!
It is certainly more than 'things'.
What you have...
May have had impressed others,
But here?
No experience equals no depth!
Those 'things' you offer?
In my heart do not endear!
And you may give me shade...
As you pass me in public view.
Thinking that may rain on my parade!
Since that's the only thing for me you can do!
However...
I'm quick to offer folks like you nonexistence,
In my mind and in my life!
You have no idea my 'aloneness' is something
I do not fear.
It has helped me clear wasteless utensils...
By the ups and downs I have witnessed!
And you 'and' your 'things' can disappear.
Am I making your vision any clearer?
They do not provide anything I will ever cherish.
I am not seeking to feed or nourish on that!
Trust me!
I have been served too much garbage.
It has taken years to discover my own taste!
And what I crave most,
Is being away from folks like you.
You are no appetizer to even consider.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Up Close and Vivid
There was a time,
I loved agitating.
Just to see different expressions,
Shown on people's faces.
Coming close,
To aggravation.
I knew my limitations.
I had gone to school to learn body language.
Interpersonal Communication.
And studying 'where' folks' feelings were.
You know...
Probing from afar.
Seeking to discover...
With just observation.
Who was disturbed...?
Who was emotionally disconnected,
And unnnerved.
And just 'who' was crazed?
Living on the edge...
Seeking to escape the maze of life.
Only to discover my own paranoia!
Today,
Few people are trying to hide their disgust!
Some are outright enraged.
With attempts to masquerade an outrage...
Many caring less,
If that it is shown on display!
And I am not quick to agitate...
For experimental purposes.
Not today!
Too many folks have venom in their eyes.
And I've learned to do what I've been trained to do,
From my early days of schooling.
I either wear my sunshades.
Or talk to myself!
Choosing to fit right in!
But I don't have to take notes today...
Too much of this 'stuff' is up close and vivid!
And I rehearse ducking...
Just in case a wild punch is thrown,
On its way to pay a personal visit!
These are not the times,
For one to blindly unwind...
To share false pretensions.
Too many folks are easily provoked.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Drugged Up and Prescribed Medicated Existences Limited
If folks think I'm a homo?
I'm gonna give them that,
And something more than homo.
If they think of me as straight?
They will get that too,
On their dinner plate.
People finding slots to lock,
Names and tags on one another...
Have done themselves the injustice.
And grounded, they are, in cemented ignorance.
Trying to find themselves in religions,
Where those 'church' addicted commit most the sins.
Is a programming of the mind that's done.
To have those in need be controlled by someone.
And me,
My life will be loved.
Independently to breathe as it was given to me.
And if another human being wishes to hug me with love,
They will get that received.
Just how it was given to me.
But I do have my preferences.
If you get my drift!
So if folks think I'm a homo?
I'm gonna give them that,
And something more than homo.
If they think of me as straight?
They will get that too,
On their dinner plate.
I do not spend my time,
With folks seeking to find a hole
To bury their brains including their minds.
Is there anything else folks can do?
Than to entertain their empty lives,
With who screwing and doing 'who'.
This is all so immature and foolish.
I'm going to live my life as the gift it is.
And leave those who are self righteous about theirs,
To their own drugged up and prescribed medicated existences limited.
'I bet you can't say that five times fast? '
What? 'drugged up and prescribed medicated existences limited'?
You're right!
I had trouble saying it 'that' time and the first as slow as possible.
I am the author.
So...
I don't have to say it at all.
It's written and for that purpose intended.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Walking In Someone Else's Shoes
I feel like this about life...
If you have reached your 40's,50's and 60's
With a lack of identity and understanding,
As to who you are?
Do not expect from me my patience,
Or a tolerant hand to hold.
I've been called 'nutt's too often by those,
Who are still seeking approval from their mamas
And papas.
With some folks whining,
As if they need their diapers changed.
And the years I endured through emotional pain...
God came to my aid.
And saved me from back to back heartbreak.
With few caring less 'how' I survived!
As long as I was there to hear their complaints,
My pain to them was insignificant.
And as I observe and comprehend how some can be...
I see them now the same way,
Without concern.
There 'is' a caring!
However...
I don't get wrapped up dramatically about it,
Like some folks.
There is something to be said,
About walking in someone else's shoes!
They may look easy and comfortable to wear...
Until it is realized,
The fit just isn't 'that' comfortable.
A perception handed to one on a plate to eat...
With a choice to live life,
Is not life lived to experience all it offers.
Even if one is not ready for the experience...
There is a process called 'growth' that is done!
A maturity that happens,
When one heals and recovers from mental insecurities...
Of all kinds.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Motivated to Accomplish
Don't tolerate anyone...
That uses your integrity,
To mask their own insecurities.
Some folks like these are slow to produce.
And quick to whine.
Preferring to spend their time dining,
In an exchange of hot gossip.
Those who are motivated to accomplish...
Their dreams and wishes,
Are often doing that alone.
Regardless if their deeds are not condoned.
They must create the show and tell of their virtues.
As if to prove what is done is legit.
And setting aside comments to get that done!
To enjoy the life for them that exists...
Without excuses.
Some choose to sit and schedule appointments,
Either to forget or dismiss.
Finding it easier to pick on someone,
Who conducts business first.
And having a thirst to feed their aspirations.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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What It Is They Do
Some folks enjoy doing things.
While other folks 'are' what they enjoy doing!
Some folks enjoy cooking.
And then there are cooks.
Some folks enjoy singing.
And then there are those who sing.
Some folks enjoy writing.
I know I do,
And I've been told I am a writer.
Some folks have no problem,
Producing what they do.
And others will say they don't have the time.
Although they waste it telling folks,
What it is they do...
And yet nothing of that,
Ever gets done!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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People Experience
It’s so much fun to observe people
As you travel all around
They make life so interesting
A fun experience I have found
A man who knows his candy
And shares the tastes with you
A gal who enjoys watermelon
The taste so fresh and true
A lovely sales lady in Russia
A gardener in Oklahoma
A lady making Crepe Suzettes
Some of the many folks I saw
Folks that we see everyday
Just out doing their jobs
But it’s fun if we can stop
To meet and maybe hob nob
The lady atop an elephant
At a circus nearby your home
Folks who work here an there
Oh, it’s so much fun to roam
Whether you study these folks
Or just see them at a glance
It makes your life much richer
To have a people experience!
poem by Marilyn Lott
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I Marriage Is For Old Folks
Mort Shuman, Leon Carr
I love dancing
Crazy romancing
Fellas advancing constantly
Marriage is for old folks
Old folks, not for me!
One husband
One wife
Whaddya got?
Two people sentenced for life!
I love singing
Good healthy clinging
Quietly bringing on a spree
Marriage is for old folks
Cold folks!
One married he
One married she
Whaddya got?
Two people watchin' tv!
I'm not ready
to quit bein' free
And I'm not willing
to stop being me
I've gotta sing my song
Why should I belong
to some guy who says
that I'm wrong?
Doo doo dooo
de doo de doo
de-doo de-doo
doo doo doo
dooo
Cookin' dinner
Lookin' no thinner
Gray elbows and
a sudsy sea
Marriage is for old folks
Cold folks,
and it's not for me!
One husband
One wife
Whaddya got?
Two people sentenced for life!
I'm exploding
with youth and with zest
Who needs corroding
in some vulture's nest?
I've gotta fly my wings
Go places, do things
My freedom bell's really
gonna ring!
Doo doo dooo....(etc.)
I've been through years
Too many blue years
Now I want New Year's every eve
Marriage is for old folks
Marriage is for cold folks
One husband
One wife
Whaddya got?
Two people sentenced for life
Marriage is for old folks
Marriage is for cold folks
Not for me
Can't you see
Marriage ain't for me
song performed by by Nina Simone
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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When I Am In My 'Me' Zone
When I am in my 'me' zone...
That's what it is,
All about me!
I hear some folks say,
How selfish that is.
And they seem to be the ones...
With their hands out.
Seeking others to give.
And after years of being drained,
By others who complain.
I've learned,
Over time...
My own happiness,
I had to maintain.
Since few could care less about that!
And I've observed happy people,
Carrying less burdens on their backs.
And there is something about 'that'
That keeps me attracted.
When I am in my 'me' zone...
That's what it is,
All about me!
And it is not a question of being selfish.
It's more like identifying a peace of mind,
I can qualify as mine.
Since some folks seem to be victimized...
By guilt.
If they are not constantly in a giving mode!
Receiving is part of it!
And I am in full acceptance.
Prepared and ready to share.
Free from being depleted!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Marriage Is For Old Folks
Mort shuman, leon carr
I love dancing
Crazy romancing
Fellas advancing constantly
Marriage is for old folks
Old folks, not for me!
One husband
One wife
Whaddya got?
Two people sentenced for life!
I love singing
Good healthy clinging
Quietly bringing on a spree
Marriage is for old folks
Cold folks!
One married he
One married she
Whaddya got?
Two people watchin tv!
Im not ready
To quit bein free
And Im not willing
To stop being me
Ive gotta sing my song
Why should I belong
To some guy who says
That Im wrong?
Doo doo dooo
De doo de doo
De-doo de-doo
Doo doo doo
Dooo
Cookin dinner
Lookin no thinner
Gray elbows and
A sudsy sea
Marriage is for old folks
Cold folks,
And its not for me!
One husband
One wife
Whaddya got?
Two people sentenced for life!
Im exploding
With youth and with zest
Who needs corroding
In some vultures nest?
Ive gotta fly my wings
Go places, do things
My freedom bells really
Gonna ring!
Doo doo dooo....(etc.)
Ive been through years
Too many blue years
Now I want new years every eve
Marriage is for old folks
Marriage is for cold folks
One husband
One wife
Whaddya got?
Two people sentenced for life
Marriage is for old folks
Marriage is for cold folks
Not for me
Cant you see
Marriage aint for me
song performed by by Nina Simone
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Visitor
Honestly?
You asked for my opinion,
And here it is for free!
Anyone can say what they want.
And process what they want to share.
I've learned over the years,
To keep my business to myself...
And not let my business become 'theirs'.
Folks who have a different reality,
That's fine...
It may not be mine.
Wherever their minds are,
That's on them...
I keep my mind away!
I'm not going to stay around anyone,
Making attempts to be accepted...
By choosing right words to say!
I enjoy my life and where it is right now.
And that was a long time coming.
I take my time listening to the birds...
And sometimes with them I'm humming!
I appreciate the little things,
And observe again what was passed by!
When I talk to someone in conversation...
I look them in the eyes.
I don't disrespect anyone with neglect,
By looking away or up to the sky!
That kind of treatment is worse than telling a lie!
And from those kinds of people...
I do my best to hide!
I've learned to have fun,
And sometimes by myself.
I don't have to be in a crowd of folks...
To feel important or laugh at bad jokes.
And honesty comes first with me.
Someone who doesn't give it is instantly dismissed!
I don't waste my time with pretense or self indulgence.
Or kiss up to anyone to be part of someone's clique!
And if I show myself in disguise,
Wearing a mask that does not fit!
I want it known,
I am either not feeling well...
Or around those that are making me sick!
And...
That's not a habit I would normally condone.
That is why affairs like these I'd rather leave alone!
'Oh?
So I take it you are a visitor,
And not from around this area?
I must get back to mingling with my friends.
Thank you for your observations!
You never know...
We might meet again! '
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Whats This World Comin To?
Why cant folks get along with one another
It was jesus said you got to love your brother
No one seems to notice all the evil in the air
No one seems to really give a damn if it is there
Oh, whats this world comin to
Hope for love, come on through, come on through
People finally get themselves together
Makin life - ooh - a whole lot better
Yeah, yeah
Some folks got a lot, and some are hungry
Well I said some folks have to live from day to day
Rich folks spend their time just countin money
Poor folks really aint got much to say
Whats this world comin to
Hope for love, come on through, come on through
I said now people finally get themselves together
Makin life - ooh - a whole lot better
Yeah, yeah
Whats this world
Comin to
Whats this world
Comin to
Whats this world
Comin to
Whats this world
Comin to
Whats this world
Comin to
Whats this world
Comin to
Oh people got to get their things together
Aint no time to lose just time to die
All of us can make this world a better place to be
All of us can feel how good it feels to be free
Woah, whats this world comin to
Hope for love, come on through, me and you
People got to get it together
Makin life - ooh - a whole lot better
song performed by by Chicago
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Core and Center of Most Complaints
So many people have tortured themselves,
With beliefs they should not be happy.
With mindsets that have been dictated to accept,
To do for others first...
Before doing first for self.
'Oh it is selfish to think of oneself.'
I once was told.
As I sought happiness to be given to me.
While determining who I should accept it from?
With a list of preferences as to how it should be received.
Oh I was messed up mentally as a child.
I took things to mean what they were literally.
Like 'God don't like ugly'.
I later learned this was a figure of speech.
And I use to think people I thought physically ugly...
Had absolutely no chance to impress God.
I was a child.
And folks were seeking everything possible,
To keep my curiousities controlled.
And...
I wasn't having none of it!
So many people have tortured themselves,
With beliefs they should not be happy.
With mindsets that have been dictated to accept,
To do for others first...
Before doing first for self.
This is what living life has taught me...
If there is no happiness within the self?
Don't expect it from someone else.
And...
If you have insecurities and low self esteem?
Do not accuse someone else,
Of not understanding you and treating you mean.
Those elements have been implanted in your mind.
If you aren't spending the time to undo this crime?
Don't attempt to blame someone else,
Because you have been left willfully victimized.
And tied by circumstances to visualize a lack of dollars.
The core and center of most complaints!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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In My Time
(copyright nazareth, tiflis tunes,inc.-ascap)
In my life theres places Ive seen,
Places Ive been in my life.
In my life theres things I have done,
Times I have won in my life.
Ships I have known,
Winds that have blown.
In my time were people who cared,
People who shared in my time,
Welcomed the good accepted the bad,
Enjoyed what I had in my time.
People Ive known
Times on my own
And now Im growing old,
In memory I can hold
My picture book unfolds and i
Can feel myself grow cold.
In my life theres times to forget,
Things to regret in my life,
May have done wrong but tried to do right
I followed the light in my life,
But now the lights grow dim,
My days are closing in.
song performed by by Nazareth
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Will Anyone Understand the History of This?
If something has been intentionally diminished,
From its original significance...
Can it be reintroduced,
To be given its proper respect?
Will it be accepted?
Will a discovery of this then be protected?
If this is done...
Will those affected forgive and forget?
And if this has been done to someone sincere...
Should they carry a bitterness to be shown?
Should they be accused of having 'attitude'
And keep that as a defense...
To project to anyone approaching close.
Or wishes again to appear and come near?
Will anyone understand the history of this?
Or will something they did not start...
Be clearly understood and dismissed?
Like calling someone the 'N' word...
To later discover,
They have influence with Kings and Queens.
Barons who control resources....they know!
And other folks like this,
They don't brag about or show.
Should someone who has been reduced...
Excuse the ignorance that appears?
Or should they realize the environment that is?
To keep a peace of mind with them...
Knowing foolish nonsense like this is praised.
And where they are for the moment...
Is a place where the folks,
Have been raised to be crazed!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Looking From The Outside
I may happen to make things look that way...
But nothing I've known in my life,
Has been made for me easy.
As a child I disliked to hear folks say,
I got everything I wanted.
But they were looking from the outside.
On the inside unsolicited headaches,
Is what I got.
With chores to do that were unstoppable.
The first room I had to myself,
Was a converted closet.
And I slept on a cot.
Believe it or not...
On a street called Garden.
I may happen to make things look that way...
But nothing I've known in my life,
Has been made for me easy.
And as I age today reflecting back on those days,
People use to use others to boost themselves to heights.
By telling lies and hiding behind alibis,
To cover up their hatred felt and those they despised to spite.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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