Let Them Have It

As much as I have come,
To appreciate my own experiences.
There are a few avenues I have revisited,
I will admit this...
I still do not understand.

I have come to favorably 'assume',
The overwhelming majority of the people I see...
Have come to live withing this existence,
The old fashion way.
Although there are some who deny this,
And would rather debate how they 'arrived'.
And that is okay!

However...
There are those who insist,
Something about them is owed a special consideration.
And they display a stubbornness to inflict upon others.
With a sharing of this mindset all over the place.

Not only do they not get it...
With a flashing of neon signs to awaken their minds.
But they have a preference to stay in a yesterday,
To repeat familiar sufferings that come their way.
And...
With common expectations to blame someone else.

My solution to anyone wishing to maintain a happiness,
Is to let people like this do exactly what they wish!
Yes!
Unless,
They have come too close to step on any one's toes.
And then by all means,
Without making excuses or apologies...
Let they have it!
Yes.
Let them have it,
Your way.

poem by Lawrence S. PertillarReport problemRelated quotes
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I Don't Welcome Bitter Fits

I don't have a spicy tongue,
Normally exposed.
Until somebody stands too close,
To step on my toes.

I don't welcome bitter fits,
Instantly to show...
To anybody who should know,
When to get up and go.

I am respectful,
Until I can't be...
To those people unaware,
Of what this means.

I try to be accountable,
Without apologies.
I make sure I'm there,
Taking care...
Of responsibilities.

I don't welcome bitter fits,
Instantly to show...
To anybody who should know,
When to get up and go.

I don't have a spicy tongue,
Normally exposed.
Until somebody stands too close,
To step on my toes.
And when somebody does that,
My ignorance shows.

I don't welcome bitter fits,
Instantly to show...
To anybody who should know,
When to get up and go.

I don't have a spicy tongue,
Normally exposed.
Until somebody stands too close,
To step on my toes.
And when somebody does that,
My ignorance shows.

I am respectful,
Until I can't be...
To those people unaware,
Of what this means.

I am respectful,
Until I can't be...
To those people unaware,
Of what this means.

I don't welcome bitter fits,
Instantly to show...
To anybody who should know,
When to get up, leave and go.

I can be respectful,
Until I can't be...
To anybody unaware of what this means.

And I don't welcome bitter fits.
Or think of them as benefits...
When somebody gets me heated,
And my ignorance shows...
The moment someone gets too close to step on my toes.

poem by Lawrence S. PertillarReport problemRelated quotes
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Latched onto Your Back

There is nothing on this Earth,
Waiting with a patience...
To give you time to make up your mind,
To live excusing your insecurities...
To place the blame elsewhere.
Nowhere are the signs on this Earth,
Awaiting you to awaken to recognize your priorities!
With a schedule you have given to them.

And believing I deserve your attention to call me what you please...
Is flattering in a way that betrays the life you've been given to live.
And I've said this to you before but you have ignored it!

Self reflection with an observation...
Outside of yourself that you should step,
Will do wonders for your beliefs and consciousness.
Since what others offer to you in a mindset you possess...
Has latched onto your back,
To entrap and keep you...
Along with aged values, standards and whatever else it is,
As insignificant as a yesterday that has gone and passed.

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His Doctrines

It's too sad to know,
They hold onto their hatred.
I'm glad to show,
My understanding ways.
It's bad to think...
Evil done they do delivers,
What they 'assume'
Some good!
And for them who wish this belief
Of these deeds...
The day comes when the total sum,
Of that which has been done...
Will indeed be revisited and repaid.
It's too pitiful,
Some are taught they are better,
Than others.
It is critical,
That this mindset met be addressed.
Where do we go?
As a people needing healing?
Without an empathy instilled and felt...
An absence of who God 'is'
Never is dealt with to leave all in tears!
And His doctrines for us and how to live...
Are never practice for what they are,
But forever erased from the human race...
To leave us to inflict,
Continued ignorance and scars!

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The Middle Class

Between dire straits and meager existence,
There are those who insist...
They represent the middle class.
And doing the best they can to make ends meet,
While that gap is widening fast.

Exhausted from swimming in debts and credit.
And unable to afford the keeping up of appearances.
Although they support those standards they value...
Those that have given up such tasks,
Can not convince them their beliefs have been trashed.

Between dire straits and meager existence,
There are those who insist...
They represent the middle class.
And as they hold onto dreams quickly slipping away,
Deluded they remain that changes made aren't here to stay.

Between dire straits and meager existence,
There are those who insist...
They represent the middle class.
And even though the sight of this continues to be sad,
Few are heard left to brag about what they own...
That others do not have.

Today...
Those struggling to maintain their middle class status,
Have one thing in common with those who are poor...
Wishing they had just a few dollars more!
And a door they can close to ignore what's going on.
Those days are gone.

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April 16,2007 (A College Massacre)

I saw the people crying
Their eyes red from tears
I could also hear
In their voices their fears

They're trying to understand
Something that cannot be explained
They're trying hard to cope with
The heartache and the pain

They want to understand
Why people do what they do
They want to understand
How such hate in some can brew

How could anyone
Do what he's done
They wonder how so much hate
Can live inside anyone

Yesterday these people
Were strangers to each other
Some will now become very close
Like that of a sister or brother

Yesterday these people
Didn't know the others existed
Yesterday these people
Had children who were gifted

But today they stand together
Sharing hurt and tears
Knowing that their children
Will never hear graduation cheers

Yes, today they are assembled
In a church to say goodbye
Hoping that no other parents
Have to see their children die

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The Burn

Chorus:
Bad is better than the burn
Some people never learn
Bad is better than the burn
Ill take the blame its my mistake
One heart goes free one heart just aches
Its an easy kill within my range
I made the break honey you kept the pain
And yesterday means nothin to me now (doesnt matter)
Ill keep it hid youll live somehow
Bad is better than the burn
Truth is better than a lie
Some people never learn
Bad is better than the burn
I fished loves kiss from the wishing well
Wound up in heaven stayed around for hell
Its a common crime to live this lie
I see no point after love has died
Ill be the one who said good-bye (oh yeah)
And Ill take the heat for the tears you cry
Bad is better than the burn
Truth is better than a lie
Some people never learn
Bad is better than the burn
Bad is better than the burn
Or the hurt thats hidden in the heart
They say you pay with what you earn
Bad is better than the burn
Cold is the shoulder that turns away
Curses the man on judgment day
Damned by the brand done too soon
Crawled out of this house and howled at the moon
(guitar solo)
And yesterday means nothing to me now
Ill keep it hid, youll live somehow
Bad is better than the burn
Some people never learn
Bad is better than the burn
Bad is better than the burn
Truth is better than a lie
Some people never learn
Bad is better than the burn
Bad is better than the burn...

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Scrutinized For Their Blemishes

It is easy for many to sit back and critique,
With a judging done of those tasks...
Others produce with a doing to complete.

And if some people are prolific,
From experiences live that dictate this...
The critics are quick,
To stampede out from nowhere it seems...
With criticsms prepared,
Not to uplift or encourage...
But instead,
Demean.

But when given the opportunity to highlight their gifts,
Critics often spew excuses...
As those under microscope,
Are scrutinized for their blemishes.

Although,
Even those who enjoy themselves as critics...
Have moments they don't admit but wish,
An attention given to be critiqued...
Would validate a reason to rid their insecurities,
With a purpose in their minds that solidified their existence.

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Fundamental of Liar Chapter CXV: Common Thing

It’s not a kindness of heart
It’s not strong solidarity
It’s just a common thing

It’s not local wisdom
It’s not old tradition
It’s just a common thing

It’s not call of duty
It’s not sense of right
It’s just a common thing

It’s not formal greeting
It’s not automatic response
It’s just a common thing

It’s not a matter of guessing
It’s not a part of instinct
It’s just a common thing

It’s not natural reaction
It’s not act of compassion
It’s just a common thing

It’s not regular news
It’s not lack of awareness
It’s just a common thing

It’s not general knowledge
It’s not piece of memory
It’s just a common thing

It’s not statistic range
It’s not operational standard
It’s just a common thing

It’s not moral excuses
It’s not people ignorance
It’s just a common thing

It’s not public secret
It’s not rhetoric question
It’s just a common thing

It’s not different mindset
It’s not basic solution
It’s just a common thing

It’s not absolute law
It’s not blind obedience
It’s just a common thing

It’s not sweet revenge
It’s not getting even
It’s just a common thing

It’s not constant worry
It’s not planted fear
It’s just a common thing

It’s not usual bickering
It’s not daily fight
It’s just a common thing

It’s not die hard habit
It’s not strange behavior
It’s just a common thing

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A Fool In Love

People say I'm a lion at heart
But they don't know what I am
People say that I stand apart
But they just don't understand
* Everynight when the darkness calls
I'll be there at your beck and call
** I'm a fool for you baby
I'm a fool right now
People say I'm a man of means
But my plans are full of holes
People say I'm a holy child
But I'm rich down to my soul
All I need is you close beside me All I need is to satisfy
**Repeat
I'm a fool for you baby
I'm a fool in love
Every mornin' when the sun comes up
And all your dreams, they slip away
I see your face and I understand
You're the only one, only one to make my day, yeah
Everybody say you ain't no good
But I won't believe it's true
They all say I ought to find someone,
but my heart belongs to you
* Repeat
** Repeat
** Repeat

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Fool In Love

People say i'm a lion at heart
But they don't know what i am
People say that i stand apart
But they just don't understand
* everynight when the darkness calls
I'll be there at your beck and call
** i'm a fool for you baby
I'm a fool right now
People say i'm a man of means
But my plans are full of holes
People say i'm a holy child
But i'm rich down to my soul
All i need is you close beside me all i need is to satisfy
**repeat
I'm a fool for you baby
I'm a fool in love
Every mornin' when the sun comes up
And all your dreams, they slip away
I see your face and i understand
You're the only one, only one to make my day, yeah
Everybody say you ain't no good
But i won't believe it's true
They all say i ought to find someone,
But my heart belongs to you
* repeat
** repeat
** repeat

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My Safe Place

Drawings of seventy three people,
A map of the place where they all live,
I am amongst these people, and
I can hear them in conversation,
Although nobody who lives outside of this room can-
I have given this place a name- a self-fabricated name-
I have found happiness here
Within this world I call my own.
This is my safe place-
This place where skies are touched with clouds of pink and gray,
This place where all is quiet, except for the rushing sound
Of the clear water in the creek that runs through.
Here in this place where nobody cares
What time of day people go to sleep or what hour that they awaken-
This is the place where nobody ever gets angry or slights one another-
Here where we dance when it rains and
Where we laugh when the sun is shining over that creek,
But the sun never burns us.
I have locked the silver gate that exits to the world outside,
So that untrustworthy and belligerent people cannot enter-
This is what I have called my safe place, although
Some say it is dangerous in some sort of way.
Some say that it is dangerous to deny what is real, and
To live in a self formulated world,
Ignoring the lives of three billion people,
Feeling no empathy for those in pain and those fighting in wars out there-
While listening to voices that only I can hear or those I care to hear.
I feel that that world has not been kind to me and
There is so much out there that I fear and it is with great irony
That people are so fearful of my own unfamiliarity- although
To me people who live in this great earth outside of my safe place
Are just as foreign to me as I am to them- I must say that
If I were to continuously wear the key to that silver gate about my neck-
Keeping myself safe here amongst my made up community, I can
Live in my world and others live in theirs and we won't have to fear one another- as
Unfamiliarity is synonymous with danger to so many people.
The sun shall shine upon both places and everyone shall be safe, and
Nobody- not myself, my own special friends or
Those living in the world outside of here
Shall ever get burned…

poem by Claudia KrizayReport problemRelated quotes
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The Am I Nuts Test

Before taking The Am I Nuts Test,
Do your best to be objective and prepared...
To declare 'yourself',
As crazy as a bed bug!

Why declare this?
It will be easier to take the test,
With the acknowledgement...
There had been someone who picked on a bed bug,
To proclaim and announce it crazy.

Okay?
Now you should feel open to accept,
All possibilities.

First...
Have you ever discovered yourself quick to deny,
Anything?
Think about this and be honest.

Second...
Are you afraid to be critiqued?
For any physical flaws and blemishes you keep?

Third...
Do you seek to mask your insecurities?
With a pointing out those of others...
As you desperately try to secretly hide,
Those of your own that are hidden deep?

Fourth...
Do you get up each morning,
With wishes to find someone to impress.
Without first expressing a thankfulness for your blessings?
Do you find a need to rehearse this first?

Fifth...
Are you envious and jealous,
Of those addressing with confidence their identities?
Does this irritate you to no end?
And you are convinced,
They actually are trying to run away...
From their strange and differentness.
Do you feel people like this pretend?

And you remain one of the few...
Who advocate a 'normalcy' wishing others to approve?

Well...
You 'are' nuts!
And there is no need to have the results discussed.
If you believe others are out of their minds,
With a few like you being 'normal'.
And no evidence around you to validate and find.
You 'are' nuts and out of your mind.
No one today is normal.

'What makes you qualified to administer a test like this? '

Long ago I was confirmed as being dysfunctional.
And I resisted this refusing to admit it.
But today those dysfunctional,
Seem to be the ones left who have common sense.

'So...
You too are nuts? '

No.
My preference is to stay,
As dysfunctional for as long as I can.
I find to admit it makes me more marketable.
To discover someone is nuts,
Puts a limit to their opportunities.

And...
To debate with someone about the mentalities of bed bugs,
Is way out of my league.
I enjoy my life lived as simple as possible.

poem by Lawrence S. PertillarReport problemRelated quotes
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transcendental Happiness

perfect happiness is really hard to attain
trust from other people is too difficult to gain
How can I be happy? How can i make myself in joy?
Can you just stay by my side? my darling, my boy?

supreme jubilee is too long to seek
we can't have our own happiness if we don't start to voice out! to speak
we can't blame people for being lazy, being timid!
they can't attain nirvana if they are so stupid!

in my own, happiness is attained by people who are giving and sharing joy to others
remember, no one can find the secret chambers!
Chambers that leads us to nirvana! to paradise
be responsible to find the joy! that's my best advice

being happy is one of my priority!
solve for my never-ending insanity
perfect happiness is there on god's hands
we can have it if we obey his commands!

perfect happiness comes in most tragic situation
like i said, happiness is hard to find! I still need to seek for solution!
what have i done? ah! help me, please!
help me to build new histories!

yes! i can sense the success! the happiness' progress!
now i know what it feels, your touch, your caress!
eternal happiness is found when i'm with you!
when your coming, doesn't know what to do!

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Obligated to be Crazed

Obligated to be crazed!
It seems that way,
Where the people's minds are
These days.

Poisoned by foods processed and packaged.
Tainted by liquids,
Whether alcoholic or faucets tapped.
Chemicalized soft drinks and sugared cereals...
Leave our children hooked.
And parents left with empty pocketbooks.

Obligated to be crazed!
It seems that way,
Where the people's minds are
These days.

Those claiming to have faith,
Feel unsafe in their homes.
They call themselves 'christians'
But pack guns to protect themselves...
From lifestyles they have condoned!

They are the ones believing they have rights,
Of all kinds.
Even to self destruct...
In racial divisions,
They've been conditioned to keep up!

And like ducks following 'quacks'
To be led like sheep to dead ends!
These same folks provoke others in conflicts...
They inflict and then insist,
There are needs to defend.

Enlightenment for them,
Means to incite bitterness and not peace!
Blaming their standards and values have diminished.
And they would feel more secured,
By the hiring of more police on urban streets.

Obligated to be crazed!
It seems that way,
Where the people's minds are
These days.

But a self examination,
That has increased their degradation...
Is too obvious although not admitted.
That this is mindset praised.
Demented!
And obligated to be crazed.

poem by Lawrence S. PertillarReport problemRelated quotes
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Doing Their Best To Save Face

Doing their best to save face.
Even if that means...
Continuing to disgrace themselves.
Or place the blame for their mistakes,
On someone else.
It is a pattern that has decreased,
A credibility...
Slipping away.
And very close to ceasing.
As a quality of life,
Slides from an existence.
They insist their troubles...
Are not of their creation!

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After Climax Satisfies

Sometimes I believe we live,
To deny we wish to be loved.
To exist resisting it.
But here because that had been done.

Sometimes I believe we wish,
To be submissive.
Cloaked as we are in an aggressiveness.

To love and be in bliss with it...
With someone kissing between pillow talk,
After sex has satisfied our desires...
Fantasizes!

We wonder about the excitement of it,
Before we close our eyes to sleep at night.
And this is done more,
Before and/or after a relationship ends.
And we place the blame upon those we have mated.
Those we waited to lay and bait our passions...
Without a stroke that exposed desires now felt.

Sometimes I believe we live,
To deny we wish to be loved.
To exist resisting it.
But here because that had been done.
By two who knew love!
Or was that lust?

And we lay wishing to have someone special...
Lusting for a life loved,
Between heated sheets shared.
To reach and repeat what is found,
In a togetherness that is free of conflict...
Long after climax satisfies a peak that remains,
Forever delicious.

Sometimes I believe we wish this too much.
And we continue to seek someone,
To keep us in touch with the basicness of it.
Like the taste of fruit that seems to stay fresh,
Always.

How do we keep this taste for love replenished?
How do we keep a piece of fruit bitten,
To sit on lips remembered...
Each time the juice of it is licked.

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Gone Too Far to Prove

Someday
You will think about this
And come to wish you chose
To be with me
Sharing your world
Wanting with overwhelming desire
For me to be there
To hold close

Someday

You will find
Dining alone and asking
Why
Sit and stare
Aware
Like I am right now
My embraces have gone empty
Without you
I know too well
This is just a spell

Someday
I hope my bitterness
Dispels my anger
To lift any loneliness
For me
Away from you
I am close to wishing you are
Lonely
Sitting there in remorse
Reminiscing dismissing me

And someday
You will wish
Sending me away
As quick
To convey
The finality of the anger
You displayed that day
Comes less often to haunt
Reliving intimacy

Someday
You will wish
Sending me away
Did not stop happiness
Everyday

Someday
You will find where we were
And sit aware
Staring
From a window lit by moonlight
Knowing
We both had gone too far
To prove
What stupid people do
To feel as stupid as I do
Now
Hearing your words
Punctuate
As I listen
Getting what I had missed
With a bit of hindsight
And wanting your eyes
To witness mine
Sometimes
Closed
Dripping with tears

Someday
You will think about this
And come to wish you chose
To be with me
Sharing your world
Wanting with overwhelming desire
For me to be there
To hold close

Someday

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I've Had My Experiences

I admit I've had my experiences.
You name,
I've done it.
And If I am not whispering,
About my misdeeds...
Why do some find my activities,
Ear candy for others...
They believe to another,
For them will be pleased?

I've never understood this.

I admit to being adventurous.
I have my curiosities,
And will explore my inquisitiveness.
If I for myself set my own limits,
Why is it gossip a few enjoy best?

I will never understand,
The obsession some have with nosiness.
My own,
Yes!
Others?
No.

Those who gossip live lives discreetly.
Lieing to themselves and others to deceive.
Hoping to keep sheltered,
Everything imaginable that has a bit of sleaze.
And doing the best they can,
To cure themselves of diseases...
Obtained secretly.

When I tell people I live my life basically.
And many would find me boring.
I am the one not believed.
I am an adventurer not a whore.
And I do not intend to do things,
That will bring conscious harm to me.
Even though I do explore.

Well...
I do smoke cigarettes.
And if I was having 'that' kind of sex...
I would awaken the next day to regret,
I wouldn't have cigarette smoking as a habit.
Doing that...
Decreases the need to wish to have 'it'.
From what I've heard.

Those who smoke...
Have less sex!
I guess!
Some of my adventures,
Have not always been successful experiences.
Or turned out to be satisfying tests.

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These Are Symptoms

Rather than to admit to madness,
It was left unaddressed and explosed.
Rather than prevent it in its steps,
And arresting its progress...
The symptoms were ignored,
As a decision everyone then chose.

Locally,
People were still stuck...
In a 'they' and 'them' mindset.
Having no interests in backyard events.
Not even to be curious enough,
To take a peek through the fence.
Set in their ways and making less sense.

Accepting and tolerating a decline of their lives.
Not wishing to cause trouble...
So they kept their mouths closed,
To minimize the hassle.
And made any complaints,
In muffled tones in their homes.
As if a disease had arrived to condone.

And one did!

Rather than to admit to madness,
It was left unaddressed and explosed.
Rather than prevent it in its steps,
And arresting its progress...
The symptoms were ignored,
As a decision everyone then chose.

Locally,
People were still stuck...
In a 'they' and 'them' mindset.
Having no interests in backyard events.
Not even to be curious enough,
To take a peek through the fence.
Set in their ways and making less sense.
And...
Babbling incoherently.
Pointing to each other as another would agree.

'No.No.No,
They're sick.'
These are symptoms!
~No.No.
They are.~
These are symptoms!
*No.No.
We're not! *
These are symptoms!
'They are.'
These are symptoms!
~Nooo.~

'No.No.No,
She's sick.'
These are symptoms!
~No.No.
He is.~
These are symptoms!
*No.No.
THEY are.*
These are symptoms!
'NO! '
These are symptoms!
~Nooo.~

'No.No.No,
They're sick.'
These are symptoms!
~No.No.
They are.~
These are symptoms!
*No.No.
We're not! *
These are symptoms!
'They are.'
These are symptoms!
~Nooo.~

These are symptoms!
~No.~
Symptoms,
Yes!
These are symptoms!
~No.~
Symptoms,
Yes!
These are symptoms!
~No.~
Symptoms,
Yes!
These are symptoms.
~No.~
These are symptoms.
Symptoms.
Symptoms.

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People always try to be somebody special, someone who is seemingly more intelligent by neglecting their ordinary happiness. But they should know happiness means ordinary things that we take for granted, such as nourishing friendships, sharing memorable moments with friends at school and so on…and that in the end, happiness is the ultimate success.

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