Those Lessons Learned
Thank You for opening my eyes,
Early in life.
And developing an appreciation,
For those lessons learned...
As I sacrificed.
Reminiscing the wealth of my experiences,
Grew I did.
Although I admit,
I was a spoiled kid.
Going beyond what was expected of me,
I began to notice quickly...
The little things I'd asked for,
I made sure those chores done...
Were performed without throwing tantrums.
And my resentment then...
Was kept at a minimum with it concealed within.
Thank You for opening my eyes,
Early in life.
And developing an appreciation,
For those lessons learned...
As I sacrificed.
Reminiscing the wealth of my experiences,
Grew I did.
Although I admit,
I was a spoiled kid.
And I felt deserving to be awarded,
The attention...
From those tasks assigned I passed.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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With An Acceptance To Acknowledge
Early in my life,
I learned to navigate.
And appreciate what I initiated.
Mistakes I have made.
And not one did I excuse.
I admit I have a low tolerance for weepers.
Perhaps I understand them too much.
I have yet to witness the sharing of sorrows,
Mend anything to become productive.
Early in my life,
I learned to navigate.
And appreciate what I initiated.
But the loneliness of doing that alone,
I abandoned to socialize with others.
Needless to say...
Some lessons learned should never be abandoned.
Early in my life,
I learned to navigate.
And appreciate what I initiated.
With an acceptance to acknowledge,
Some lessons learned should never be abandoned.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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If I Am Not Committed To Its Existence
My life!
And the total living,
Of the experience of it...
Has afforded me the many lessons,
Learned and given...
By being discipline, observant and listening.
Although I admit those teachings,
Did not sink in to begin...
Until my opinions,
Of how others lived their lives...
Beyond and outside of my vision,
Ceased to end my judgements passed.
And that is when my life,
Began a whole new adventure....
On a more personal path.
Without my nose being in someone else's business.
Or believed I had 'all' the answers,
When too many questions I had...
About my own existence that took top position.
And with God's assistance...
I learned how to shut my mouth.
And with my eyes and ears open,
I grew to know when and how to pay attention.
Allowing me to grow to know that which I am still learning.
To live and let live to leave alone if that is God's wish!
Especially if I am not committed to its existence.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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But I Was Never Alone
I had to grow up,
Early.
There was no sheltered path,
Protecting steps...
I was made to correct.
By a sibling older...
I knew as I grew.
I had to grow up,
Early.
With a consciousness,
Of what to do.
And to face those consequences,
I lived to go through.
There were days of resentment.
There were days I spent alone.
There were days I wished,
For a childhood that was childish.
And today I am grateful,
For all of those experiences.
I learned through mistakes made,
And heartaches too.
I learned to listen,
With introspective comprehension.
My battles I fought.
And with time I recognized,
Those blessings to me God has brought!
I had to grow up,
Early.
With a consciousness,
Of what to do.
And to face those consequences,
I lived to go through.
But I was...
Never alone,
To be alone on my own.
And this to me,
God has shown.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Thirsting Libido
I have been a grown man aging.
With a wealth of diversified experiences.
And for anyone to mention,
What is perceived to be my sexual preference.
At this stage of my life...
With the smearing of my name,
With a gaining of attention.
Leaves me flattered to think...
A grown man aging,
With a wealth of diversified experiences...
What I do when I am naked,
Will still excite anyone to focus on it.
And when and 'if',
I get to be one hundred and one...
Out of all my experiences,
That smearing is still done...
My smile will be broader than it is today!
'Larry...
They are 'still' talking about your thirsting libido!
What are you doing to keep this persisted? '
I KNOW!
I don't know...
But,
I am amazed and grateful by it all.
Let's see...
I've been heterosexually committed.
Homosexualistically gay.
I've attempted to be a lesbian too!
But that attempt faded away.
Gee...
Is there anything left to try...
That I can admit and not deny?
I want to keep those with no lives to live,
With 'something' to talk and gossip about!
Help me create something 'totally bizarre'.
This attention I am getting is fantastic.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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How We Learned Our Lessons
Through the living of their lives...
That's how we learned our lessons.
Through the observation of their sacrifices...
That's how we learned our lessons.
And we understood each one of them.
With our minds, eyes and ears opened.
Through the living of their lives...
That's how we learned our lessons.
Through the acceptance and loving ourselves.
That's how we learned our lessons.
Through the giving of respect,
We ourselves sometimes did not get!
That's how we learned our lessons.
And even though our steps made forward...
Were made to believe by others as limited.
And sometimes we wept and knew this was negative.
It was through the acceptance of who we were,
And loving ourselves.
That's how we learned our lessons.
And the parents we loved and had,
Did not brag about their college degrees!
Or 'things' with them we could buy to achieve...
To succeed in the repossessing of our minds,
Some permit an entry for this to be done!
They were with us all the time,
Telling us we could accomplish anything!
And could prove that too to ourselves and anyone.
'Whatever' it was we chose in our lives to do.
And working hard we did...
To pursue.
Through the living of their lives...
That's how we learned our lessons.
Through the observation of their sacrifices...
That's how we learned our lessons.
Dedicated to:
Andrea ('Mimmie') , Tammy and Lisa
My sisters.
'Love you for your 'gifts' given...
Edna Pearl Roberts Prudhomme Pertillar
And Lawrence Pertillar, Sr.'
Our Parents.
~lsp~
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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From Their Point Of View
There will always be those who choose to see life,
From their point of view.
And not necessarily from their own experiences.
As many feeling entitled excuse themselves to do.
There will always be those who choose to see life,
And the struggles others endure...
From movies, widening TV screens,
Or binoculars used as they peer from behind trees...
To validate a faking of a wisdom often to be argued,
With the ones who have received their completed lessons...
Taught fresh from the trenches to prove with wounds,
They did not sit to observe someone else fighting their battles.
There will always be those who choose to see life,
From their point of view.
And not necessarily from their own experiences, either!
As many feeling entitled excuse themselves to do.
And others will volunteer as a sacrifice to feel as a duty,
To assist in securing freedoms for all as promised.
With a few who will come to assist in providing comfort,
Or express an appreciation and with respect...
To the ones who will always associate life,
With a feeling of mental and physical pain for their efforts.
And this is the view many refuse to acknowledge.
Since to do it they will have to admit a reality exists.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Your grandchild has tougher lessons to teach
When your child was born
You might have learned certain lessons
As he or she was growing
The child would have been
Teaching lessons
Which you were not learning
From anywhere else
You would have found the lessons
Tough and difficult to absorb
As basics and fundamentals
Language used by the faculty
Methodology of teaching
Were quite different
Most of the time unstructured
Unmindful of your moods
The teacher would have kept you
Loaded with lessons difficult to decipher
The classes were far unique and
Very specially different
From any of the formal institution
Which were preparing you
For making a life
The lessons here aimed at
Making you live fully alive and aware of
Absolute realities
You would agree
Learning these never made you tired
And you were enthusiastically looking for
New lessons to come up
By the time
Your child has grown up
And stopped teaching you any further
Your grand child arrives
Now the lessons turn tougher still
Despite all the experiences in life and living
Your learning is quite difficult now
The teacher is in a great hurry
And often keeps changing
The course of lessons
You find new reasons
For things happening around
And you see yourself
In new enthusiasm
Which you feel will help you live
Longer still
With enough energy, strength and skill
In spite of the fact that
Your grandchild has tougher lessons to teach
poem by Bashyam Narayanan
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About Survival And Life
There are so many things I have learned,
About survival and life and healing from pain.
I've learned that those who ignore,
Others doing their best to painfully survive...
Will eventually learn a few lessons themselves.
And for some who shun others as an expectation,
Especially those...
Unaccustomed to being shunned themselves,
The pain to them that comes will be incredible.
Although...
An adjustment aided by one's hindsight often helps.
Allowing lessons as lessons are to be taught and learned,
No matter how difficult the acceptance is....
To provide just the right amount of significant influence.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Tears
Tears...
Dry them!
Do it now!
You've spent enough time,
Giving grief your attention!
I shed them myself.
Not for hours, days or weeks!
But years!
That's all I could do!
That's all I felt my eyes were in my head,
To produce!
I realized my tears were not being felt,
By anyone else but myself.
I could not borrow empathy for my sorrows.
I dried those tears.
Took smiling lessons.
Believed I could fly...
Until I fell off the curb from a high,
I thought I enjoyed.
But 'weed' does not last too long!
I asked myself what was wrong?
It was me!
I could not believe it!
I had wanted to believe my tears came from something...
OR someone else.
But...
They were rolling down 'my' eyes.
And that agony was mine!
It wanted me more than I wanted it!
I got rid of it!
I became my friend!
My 'best' friend!
And like all good friends...
I learned to enjoy myself.
I learned that my happiness was deserving!
I began serving myself dosages of happiness...
On a daily basis!
Tears?
You can shed them if you want!
But I am willing to bet,
You'll be doing it by yourself!
And if you're happy doing it?
Be thankful.
Celebrate!
However...
If you find yourself delivering tears?
Find out 'who' is behind the production.
And 'why' you are left to pay the cost!
Such performances are usually not worthy,
Of the price paid!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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When She Played It Was On Her Piano
As a kid I had ambitions.
And the first of them was to do my chores,
Before my mother would come home from work.
And she would pack them on too!
'I told you to sweep this floor.'
I did!
'With what?
A sandwich?
Do it again.'
My sister, Mimmie, would look at me.
And smile!
I couldn't wait,
To give her the spray can...
To kill the roaches!
I didn't know we weren't suppose to have them,
Until I was eight years old!
And that's not a joke.
One day when my mother went to work,
I made sure Mimmie got introduced.
She's a grandmother now.
And every once in a while...
She will mention how mean I was to her.
Nobody is going to sit,
And enjoy me getting whipped!
And that has been my philosophy...
Learned very early in my life.
Those days are long gone.
And being assigned to responsibilites,
I believe every child needs.
However...
Too many parents have raised lazy and spoiled children.
Believing one day,
They will awaken and be accountable for their actions!
Today as I reflect on my childhood,
I am glad my mother did not allow me to go to sleep...
To chance an awakening to what I knew I should do.
What I had and was going to do got done,
Before I had an opportunity to give it thought.
Procrastination,
Was not a lesson my mother taught.
I've seen parents,
Do everything possible for their children.
To wonder at a later date in time,
Why their children disrespect them.
Even 'if' I looked as if I wanted to say something back,
My mother would put a 'switch' to my behind.
AND...
I would have to fine one she liked to use on me.
That was before the calling of 911.
Today...
They would call that child abuse.
When I grew up...
We got our 'butts' tore up.
Just for looking as 'if'...
We did not enjoy getting whippings!
And I aint hardly kidding.
How does that 'old' saying go?
~Spare the rod and spoil the child.~
Well...
Mimmie and I were very spoiled.
But...
A rocking of a boat,
Did not float at all...
With Ms Edna!
When she played,
It was on her piano!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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~ 65 ~
I have learned many things,
With experiences taught throughout my life.
And when I arrived at the age of 65...
With a belief I had achieved a wisdom.
And acknowledging my blessings,
Is this...
The only ignorance I am obligated to condone,
Is my own.
With a freedom to admit it or not.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Forms of Wealth
To money is attributed wealth
But the open truth of wealth
Is, It is not the only kind of wealth—
There are also other forms of wealth!
Good health is the best form of wealth
Forging rich links in relationships is wealth
Spontaneous love for all life forms is wealth
To have enthusiasm in life is wealth.
Acquiring life-long learning is wealth
Experience and wisdom in life is wealth
Meeting new people is also wealth
Visiting new places too is authentic wealth.
The quest to explore something is wealth
To have a positive mind-set is wealth
Existence of deep internal peace is wealth
Early morning waking up with joy is wealth.
Possessing high self-respect is wealth
Having strong spiritual connection is wealth
There exist so many types of wealth
Constitute all these and you're with full wealth!
poem by Chandra Thiagarajan
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Taking Mental Notes
Offering life's lessons,
Free of lip upoin delivering it
As if one has seen it all,
Is not the action of one wise
Who has gone through personal,
And lip biting experiences.
To advise others,
As to what they 'should' do
And how to do it to resolve their issues,
Only proves one thing.
What one has experienced,
May not be the lessons
Another has to be be taught,
And may not be those lessons
Given at the time,
One paying attention should avoid.
Many must experience the same situations.
But when the time comes,
For that testing to be done!
Taking mental notes,
Is suggested.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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That Ain't About to Happen Here
Just because you do not see my scars...
Or I do not brag about the wounds I've suffered,
They are there.
Some healing from the drops of blood...
That have left stains on the path of my journey!
And if for a one second,
You believe I am going to stop...
To pour tea and gossip.
You have picked the wrong one,
To do that with!
I am very upfront about that.
However...
I will share this with you,
I am in no mood to debate...
Over who would benefit from my experience.
Or the fuzzy feeling I would get,
From captivated wide eyed children...
I would rather strangle.
Since I've learned very early in my travels...
Experiences can not be taught!
They must be lived to appreciate.
Complete with discipline that motivates.
And I am not the one to sit patiently,
While someone decides...
If my life is worthy of someone's attention.
They may or may not give.
After my throat has become hoarse,
From screaming at the top of my lungs.
No...
For that I am not qualified!
I am not living my life for that kind of decision,
To be made.
Or waste my time in discussion...
About the disadvantages my actions may create.
No...
That ain't about to happen here.
You can,
If you wish to call it...
Self involvement.
I too have learned many lessons.
And I am not certified,
To solve someone else's problems!
Or will be baited to complicate,
My own issues.
And I've got some needing my focus.
Prioritized with a peace of mind...
I am not about to give up!
You can,
If you wish to call it...
Self involvement.
And you would be correct!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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It Can Be Draining
Sometimes it can be draining,
And gets difficult...
To be in the midst,
Of thoughtless people.
Especially those who have aged,
To express less concern.
Or how their whims affect...
The ones who treasure their lessons learned.
At times emotional feelings exposed,
Are received to be ones embittered.
When sharing them amongst those,
Who could care less...
About the depthness of another's experiences.
And how those experiences are addressed,
Each day to expect, accept or reject.
Sometimes it can be draining,
And gets difficult...
To be in the midst,
Of thoughtless people.
Especially those who have aged,
To express less concern.
Or how their whims affect...
The ones who treasure their lessons learned.
It can be draining.
Isolating.
And reflectively disrespecting.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Even Their Pretensions Have a Sadness
Things have become so bad for them!
Even their pretensions have a sadness.
And to watch them today charade their masquerades,
Is a blessing for those who received their turned up noses.
And poses of materialistic influence,
Kept in a shallowed chic!
An appeal they teased with zest and zeal!
Keeping things real is the lesson here!
Falling down that ladder now...
Has become a lot more public.
And some people who have lied,
To maintain their fractured domains...
With an accomodating nastiness to others.
Will always display those of false powers,
As having nothing real about them at all!
Except the use of decaying spoiled tantrums,
That is driving disgust to new heights,
And low tolerance for these bloodless weasels.
Since anyone with any true power...
Have come to realize,
It does not have to be seen to be felt!
Or delivered...
With props to intimidate.
Somehow those techniques kept feet on the ground.
However...
Every once in a while a belt swinging mama,
Had to prove a point that became quickly understood.
Those lessons for many of us,
Were taught very early in life!
While others apparently were disciplined to feed,
A mindless greed...
Successfully expediting their own downfall!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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To Pay Particular Attention
A spoiled mixed up brew.
Left to sit to boil hot!
That's what I thought,
Of myself...
A lot!
A life I randomly got.
And not selected.
Not one that was picked,
To witness experiences...
In time I would digest.
And as I grow older,
I am coming to grips with this...
On being 'picked' and 'selected' business.
Realizing a 'randomness' is not the lives we live.
And I am not going to lie...
I do often wonder 'why'?
Since I will admit,
I do test and try my Creator's patience.
In the hopes to be punished...
To pay particular attention,
As to how the Creator goes about...
Inflicting this,
Upon my more aware consciousness!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Casting One's Own Shadow
Call your trip whatever you wish.
I've learned not to debate, argue...
Or 'franchise' anyone's opinion,
As if to make mine!
Nor do I agree to evaluate...
Someone's statement,
Whether a line given to solicit...
An opinion I've given in anything I've written.
I've learned an exchange of experiences,
Is not a possibility.
And I've learned this by listening.
And this many people seldom do.
I've been up and down too many times,
To discover my own comprehension...
About life.
My life and how 'my' life is connected.
When I found criticisms made of me by others...
'Added' to my understanding,
If right, wrong or indifferent when given...
I still had to brush my own teeth.
Walk on my own two feet!
And be accountable for my own actions.
I stopped making excuses,
When they began not to make sense to me.
I spent more time defending myself...
Instead of living my life.
And I began to do that...
When I started to appreciate myself.
And 'if' I was to give my advice to anyone...
AND...
I did say 'if'.
I would say this...
If anyone finds they are seeking acceptance,
On a path they have chosen to take...
It is not a path they have chosen.
How can it be?
How can someone declare something theirs,
When others can do the same thing thing?
If voices can be heard?
Footprints can be seen?
And the path one takes has already been paved?
That is following...
Not casting,
One's own shadow!
I do not wish,
I demand people to get out of my light.
What would be the point,
If I am patiently waiting for someone else to decide...
Whether or not they want to move out of it?
That kind of time I am not giving to anyone!
Period.
I've learned many lessons.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Thankful
You know my soul
You know everything about me theres to know
You know my heart
How to make me stop & how to make me go
You should know I love everything
About you dont you know
That Im thankful
For the blessing
And the lessons that Ive learned w/you
By my side
That Im thankful so thankful for the love
That you keep bringing in my life
In my life
Thankful so thankful
You know my thoughts
Before I open up my mouth & try to speak
You know my dreams
Must be listening when Im talking in my sleep
I hope you know
I love having you around me dont you know
That Im thankful for the blessing
And the lessons that Ive learned w/you
By my side
That Im thankful so thankful for the love
That you keep bringing in my life in my life
Dont you know that Im thankful for the moment
When Im down you always know how to make me smile
Thankful for the moments & the joy that your bringing to my life
For the lessons that Ive learned
For the trouble Ive known
For the heartache & pain
That youve thrown my way
When I didnt think I could go on
But you made me feel strong
With you I am never alone
Thankful so thankful
Thankful for the blessing
And the lessons that Ive learned w/you
By my side
That Im thankful so thankful for the love
That you keep bringing in my life in my life
Thankful so thankful
When Im down you always know how to make me smile
Thankful for the joys that your bringing to my life
Thankful so thankful
song performed by by Kelly Clarkson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Kicking Roses
Privately we share similar interests.
And I agree with your thoughts totally.
Although...
Since I've been told I play the role,
Of the villain so well...
I only speak of kicking roses publicly.
And between you and me...
I have too high of a regard,
For anything that has a delicious beauty.
But will prick quickly if unconsciously picked.
I've learned to satisfy.
With some tough lessons learned.
And a fool?
I am not.
However,
I must admit...
When focused and in 'character',
I can chill anyone to the bone.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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