Keeping Alive Lives Lived to Fantasize
How can someone who claims to have faith,
Be quick to express fear?
I'm not understanding that at all.
Nothing about that makes it clear.
Or someone who has insecurities...
Expressing they choose not to comprehend,
Anything...
That will bring a clarity to them.
I don't understand those at all,
Who deny reality.
To say to others within listening distance...
What they see they can not believe.
But deceit they accept,
Without questioning its existence to reject.
And delude themselves they do...
With a resistance to accept the truth.
And everyone wonders why...
A quality of life,
Continues to ride on a downslide.
While keeping alive lives lived...
With wishes to remain completely fantasized!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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God's Creation
God’s tiny creatures are everywhere, on all the lands and in the air.
Everywhere you look there’s proof, of God’s Creation and His Truth.
Various creatures in a wide array, are on this earth and on display.
Placed by God for all men to see, while pointing hearts to eternity.
They are placed by God’s hand, as evidence to help all understand,
That all of creation is of The Lord, and it is a truth, not to be ignored.
As all will stand before The Creator, but do all accept Him as Savior?
The Truth alone will judge all men, as all theories will be condemned.
Men may deny all of God’s Truth, but they will stand without excuse.
For God says through revelation, Truth is stamped on His Creation.
Learned men can not comprehend, real truth, not devised by them.
And God’s Truth stands on its own, and it exists through God alone.
All God’s Truth and eternal design, goes far above the learned mind.
It’s only simple faith that you need, to look at creation and to believe,
That The Eternal God created it all, for man all alone is awfully small.
And the man’s mind is smaller still, that continues to reject God’s will.
God’s existence does not need man, but we were put into God’s plan.
God will continue on, they will see; continue on through all of Eternity.
It’s those who reject God’s Creation, who can’t embrace His Salvation.
But they will understand and will see, that He’s The God of all Eternity.
(Copyright ©10/2005)
This Stuff Is Blatant
My observations aren't created.
Rarely embellished are they envisioned.
I see what I see.
And hear what I hear.
Ignoring what is there,
I do not make that decision.
I am one of those probing nosey people.
Wanting to comprehend with a reason,
To question 'why'?
I can be analytical if I wish.
But what I observe...
There is little need for it.
This stuff is blatant!
For open eyes to satiate.
Blatant with a rawness,
Hard for some to digest.
I guess that is why so many folks,
Delude themselves with pretentions.
Preferring lives fantasized,
To moralize what upsets.
This stuff is blatant,
Oh yes.
There in black and white!
But I understand why,
Some choose to camouflage this in disguise.
So much truth conflicts with a resistance to reality.
And reality is much despised.
This stuff is blatant!
For open eyes to satiate.
Blatant with a rawness,
Hard for some to digest.
I guess that is why so many folks,
Delude themselves with pretentions.
Preferring lives fantasized,
To moralize what upsets.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Our Minds Are Quite Different
Oh no!
I am not here,
To try to understand you.
Not when you have issues,
Dealing with reality.
That is not why I am here!
Nor my responsibility...
To ensure your life is made clear.
If it isn't for you now,
All the understanding I could share...
Will go absolutely nowhere with you.
'That' I already comprehend.
No longer will I defend,
A clarity you will never see.
You wish to perceive a fantisized existence...
That has a resistance to growing pains.
As long as things remain the same...
You are fine!
Our minds are quite different.
I am not trying to hold on,
To what I know should be let go!
And if that includes you,
To continue to pursue my life to live...
That will be done!
I am not the one for charity give aways,
That do not appreciate or value the delivery...
Purpose or reason!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Burdened Is the One Who Knows Truth
Burdened is the one who knows truth.
An isolation occurs,
One has the nerve to adjust to and accept.
With little delusion left to live.
Some would say comments made like this are negative.
Until the onslaught of reality hits them quick.
And there is nothing positive they see in it.
With wishes to blame others to have it fixed.
To return back to a life that is fantasized.
Complete and sugarized.
But teardropping eyes like these...
Are going to clear when the masquerade is over.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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To Embellish A Nonexistence Has Adverse Effects
Ego fed insecurities,
Addicted to seeking acceptance...
Are protective of their delusions.
And easily offended,
By a truth that is to them directed.
It is more important for them to impress,
Than to honestly address their own issues.
Something blocked in their minds,
Will not allow them to do this.
And quick they are to misinterpret reality.
They believe reality is something to twist to fit,
A determined wish to see,
Life from their prespective.
And only a life lived to experience as is,
Can be received to accept to adjust...
Not correct to reject what is presented!
Ego fed insecurities,
Addicted to seeking acceptance...
Are protective of their delusions.
And easily offended,
By a truth that is to them directed.
To embellish a nonexistence,
Has adverse effects.
And adverse effects are difficult to keep,
From being exposed.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Innuendoed to Convince
Fear not being completely honest,
In an atmosphere reeking of deceit.
You...
Of those wholesome sensibilities!
Eventually your intergrity will be identified.
And those who lived their lives mystified by lies...
Will discover their decay.
Deluded and fantasized.
Teased by sweets and compromised.
But has delivered no long lasting peace.
With wishes they had turned away,
From a hollowness enjoyed each day.
Sought on a daily basis.
Preferring a more solid existence employed.
At least one less pretensed.
Or one wished had been less annoying!
And lived to prevent from being destroyed.
By threats of terrorists or homophobic racists!
Since one day they will come to realize,
Their own lives lived...
For them nearing the end,
Has made no sense to defend.
With a rumored conscious intention.
Innuendoed to convince,
A fulfillment of some kind has taken place.
Even at the expense,
Of their sheltered and isolated misunderstandings.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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A 'Trip' To Babble On
Why is it,
That those who are most likely to become offended...
By someone else's interpretation of God,
And the way they depict their reciting of quoted scriptures...
Seem to be those who are hypocrities.
Who are quick to say what they know.
To even take a 'trip' to babble on,
In 'tongues' as if to impress.
And yet,
The evidence they show to be exposed...
Is meager in the delivery of its existence.
But they will tell anyone within listening distance,
What it is from others God wishes.
And they live lives completely exempt from this.
But will quote in a minute,
Something they have read but not digested.
To then say...
'I too have difficulty maintaining my faith.'
~That's odd.
I have no clue as to what you've said.
And yet,
I find no difficulty maintaining my faith at all.~
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Because of Love?
Often I try to understand about you
But the more I don’t understand why you do
Sometimes sweet, sometimes jealous
Sometimes close, sometimes ignore
But I also don’t understand myself too
That still on your side though you like that
Sometimes bored, sometimes float
Sometimes questioning
So what makes us together now?
Because of love
Or maybe it is just a pity
Because of care
Or just common understanding
We live with accept each other
Many times I try to erase you from my mind
But the more my heart is empty without
I miss your smile, swallow your bitter
I need your warmth, and fear losing you
Maybe you also ask yourself about me
Am I still worth for your life?
Though I’m a doubt, though I’m imperfect
Though I could hurt
So what makes us still together?
Because of love
Or maybe it is just a pity
Because of care
Or just common understanding
We live with trust each other
poem by Maria Sudibyo
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Purely Metaphysical-Letters to a Consciousness Waiting in Waste Letter X
Suffering made a brief visit in my life early this morning.
Instead of finding you last night I was found by another. She would not compete.
However mistakes had to be made in order for me to grow to the next realisation of truth.
Truth that I love you and no other.
Truth that you live and grow in my heart.
Truth that you are always in my thoughts.
Truth that I must tell you how I feel.
More and more, I grow courageous enough to express my compassion for you.
Truth is to live my life with you, freely and forever.
I will never hurt truth.
I will live and love truth.
I will know, understand and believe truth.
I will do everything I can to let you know truth.
I will not fear truth.
If you reject me, I will still love.
If you accept me, we will become love.
The truth of love
poem by Steve Bergwerff
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Quite Shocked And Appalled
Quite shocked and appalled are they.
The ones accused to be the reason,
Why a way of life is 'rumored' to be tied...
Directly to them.
And the cause of a downslide and bankruptcy.
They don't accept this.
Although maintaining pretentions,
Can be quite expensive.
They feel offended when it is broadcast on TV...
How their children who lack discipline,
Respect, hygiene and social etiquette...
Is directly connected to a reflected negligence.
And those fingers are pointed to them.
Because of their feelings of being entitled...
And the laws that are 'designed' to protect their whims.
They don't accept this.
Although maintaining pretentions,
Can be quite expensive.
And the money that is spent,
To keep their symbolic points of view...
Gleaming in their minds,
And where these images are found...
Has broken their backs,
To bring their knees to touch the ground.
And...
They don't accept this.
Although maintaining pretentions,
Can be quite expensive.
And they protest and picket their leadership,
To change what they've done quick...
Or,
They will find themselves replaced.
They demand at any cost,
To have their delusions better represented.
And 'this' they will accept.
Although maintaining pretentions,
Can be quite expensive.
Quite shocked and appalled are they.
The ones accused to be the reason,
Why a way of life is 'rumored' to be tied...
Directly to them.
And the cause of a downslide...
And bankruptcy.
Attached to their credit.
And upaid loans.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Your Mind Pushes Me Away, Your Heart Aches
Your mind pushes me away, your heart aches;
I assure you of our truth, whilst my heart breaks;
You are so afeared, that your fear became your reality-
Yet, there is but one way to rid yourself of this duality-
One day at a time, step closer in OUR direction,
Where I shall be already, to offer the protection
Of my love, strength and other-wordly faith,
In the love that we fashioned, through the miles, from a wraith;
Beloved, though we speak not, I call out to you,
And tell you that is ok to be brave-I am not saying what to do,
But merely I proffer salient advice knowing the truth of YOUR dreams-
I do this not for my own gain, nor for anything but what seems
Now to be surreal, where I know the opposite is true;
Love is truth, truth is love; fear is deceit, and deceit led you
To temporarily push away what you have dreamt for all your life,
Fear is your enemy, not I-fear caused this chasm, this strife!
I did not push you too fast, yet for same
I now am accused, and falsely take blame;
You did not use me to get over anyone,
Nor did you deceive just me, yet bludgeon
Only me, with anger over fear-I am NOT the enemy
I am the love that you have held guard over-it is in me
And not else lives there-not animus, nor do I possess baggage
From my past-holding on to the past has caused enough damage;
I would lovingly advise that you do the same, both as it relates to you and to me,
And finally accept the love that we two share, to be
The only 'reality' that you keep in your heart and mind-
Leave the past just where it belongs-behind
Us, both in time and as lessons learned-
It is what you deserve, and I know I have earned;
Become what you have always wanted to become,
At your own pace, but do not allow irration to be so cumbersome
As to alter what you know as real,
The truth of your heart, what you you truly feel!
poem by Maurice Harris
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Leaving Few to Wonder
Perhaps it is their madness!
Or an entrapment that satisfies.
However...
I can not be the only one who notices,
Those who say they pray for understanding.
But quick to turn their backs,
On those who God sends...
To assist them,
With the ridding of their 'sins'.
And they do their best to reject the messengers!
Coming with gifts.
And a delivery of their wishes.
And 'this' they do not accept.
Although they stay on knees humbly...
With an untouchable self righteousness,
Expecting a unity in a collective peacefulness.
But they choose to qualify those who come,
Assigned to them to get that done!
To leave few to wonder,
Why suffering remains their choice sustained.
And voices of deliverance,
Are silenced and shunned!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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What Has Been Denied
One of the main reasons,
People don't know who they are...
Or can respect others to accept,
Is their approach to life.
And a valued place on false pretensions.
People have been made to believe,
And are convinced...
That reality is to be pretended,
And the more pretentious they are...
The more they reflect a 'version' of reality.
Blindly accepted.
And...
Those who are themselves,
And have lived reality...
From an experiencing of it,
Are perceived as being phony.
Although everything they have done...
Is based upon truth as it is,
And have attempted to deliver it.
But are criticized for being nonconformists.
One of the main reasons,
People don't know who they are...
Or can respect others to accept,
Is their approach to life.
One is taught how to live,
And how to act.
What beliefs to accept,
From those created...
And followed 'faithfully'.
And those who live not accepting,
Those beliefs to follow 'faithfully'...
Seem to live freer lives,
Without having lies to follow.
'Why is there so much conflict in the world.
Why are so many people unhappy? '
That's a good question.
And they are the ones who follow,
Taught beliefs.
Without seeking to live life,
To discover it on their own.
They follow and protest yet accept.
'But,
How can you say that? '
I've learned to stand back,
And observe that which has been denied.
My eyes have been open most of my life,
To see things as they are.
Not what I wish them to be.
With eyes open wide.
And apparently my 'version' has offered me,
A more peaceful co-existence.
And that for me is not phony at all.
I only have one face that I've shown.
Have you ever seen me wearing a mask?
To appease others doing it?
'No.'
You should take yours off.
You'll see exactly what I mean.
When you begin to experience life,
So many become offended.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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The Am I Nuts Test
Before taking The Am I Nuts Test,
Do your best to be objective and prepared...
To declare 'yourself',
As crazy as a bed bug!
Why declare this?
It will be easier to take the test,
With the acknowledgement...
There had been someone who picked on a bed bug,
To proclaim and announce it crazy.
Okay?
Now you should feel open to accept,
All possibilities.
First...
Have you ever discovered yourself quick to deny,
Anything?
Think about this and be honest.
Second...
Are you afraid to be critiqued?
For any physical flaws and blemishes you keep?
Third...
Do you seek to mask your insecurities?
With a pointing out those of others...
As you desperately try to secretly hide,
Those of your own that are hidden deep?
Fourth...
Do you get up each morning,
With wishes to find someone to impress.
Without first expressing a thankfulness for your blessings?
Do you find a need to rehearse this first?
Fifth...
Are you envious and jealous,
Of those addressing with confidence their identities?
Does this irritate you to no end?
And you are convinced,
They actually are trying to run away...
From their strange and differentness.
Do you feel people like this pretend?
And you remain one of the few...
Who advocate a 'normalcy' wishing others to approve?
Well...
You 'are' nuts!
And there is no need to have the results discussed.
If you believe others are out of their minds,
With a few like you being 'normal'.
And no evidence around you to validate and find.
You 'are' nuts and out of your mind.
No one today is normal.
'What makes you qualified to administer a test like this? '
Long ago I was confirmed as being dysfunctional.
And I resisted this refusing to admit it.
But today those dysfunctional,
Seem to be the ones left who have common sense.
'So...
You too are nuts? '
No.
My preference is to stay,
As dysfunctional for as long as I can.
I find to admit it makes me more marketable.
To discover someone is nuts,
Puts a limit to their opportunities.
And...
To debate with someone about the mentalities of bed bugs,
Is way out of my league.
I enjoy my life lived as simple as possible.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Traits Of Misery
Beware of those who expose,
Traits of misery.
You will recognize them immediately.
Ache and Pain gainers,
Will introduce themselves first by complaints.
'Oh, I'm hanging in there.
Doing the best I can with my arthritist.
And controlling my 'sugar' and high colesterol.
You have no clue how I wish I can say,
I'm doing fine as easily as you do.'
Sufferers of others' misunderstandings...
Are of a different breed.
They want to be understood as to why,
Their excuses and alibis are always so creative.
'As a child my parents did this to me.
With their over-protecting and curfews set.
That left me insecure and unsure,
Of any forwardsteps I made.
But with my unshakable faith...
I pray everyday for clarity.'
Oh yes,
There's nothing like that 'clarity' to be addressed.
And then,
Those 'Doubting Thomases' who speak in 'gibberish'...
Around those to impress on Sunday mornings,
During their 'confessions'...
Are those with their 'born-again' Christian qualities.
You know the ones...
Quick to quote verbatim from a learned scripture,
But can not accept the living of their lives...
For fear to be tempted by sin and the reality of life,
They find they have been 'annointed' to judge.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Acting As If Having An Intelligence
It took me awhile,
To understand those...
Who saw life in denial.
But as I thought about them...
And being mentally conditioned myself,
To accept limitations...
With an acting as if having an intelligence,
Would actually offend others?
I completely understand now,
Why so many accept staying ignorant.
Trying to impress with a thought process offends.
You see...
This is what I've come to understand,
Life becomes less challenging...
When those 'known' to be ignorant,
Are not held accountable for their actions.
And those who are labelled 'intelligent'...
Are expected to be responsible AND accountable,
For 'everything' those who choose to see life in denial...
With the doing of the most 'stupidest' things to be excused.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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So Glad My Days Are Simple
I am so glad my days are simple.
So glad my sights are clear.
Viewing life nonjudgementally...
I'm free to express my cheer!
Materialistic wishes,
Are briefly satisfied.
I found a peace of mind I hold,
I have learned not to put my life aside!
I am not completely isolated,
From others who feel rushed with pursuits.
I was once caught up myself with quick endeavors...
Until I discovered a self I had to soothe.
And I am so glad my days have become simple,
I have time to enjoy other facets of life.
I don't look for rain when clouds appear.
And when they do,
I accept that as being alright!
I don't get uptight about it,
Like some who use these times to fight!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Not Part of the Mix
I can decide not to accept.
And most times I do not hesitate,
In procrastination.
Or I can choose between singing the blues.
To a thumbing of my nose to misery.
Either way...
It is still 'my' life!
And...
Not a perception of what someone else believes.
My life is real to me to live it completely,
With happiness if I so please.
And I do,
Wish a life...
Free of disturbing obstacles.
And,
To continue...
If any part of my life concerns you,
That too will be shared!
But if it doesn't...
You need not worry,
About a judgement on me to pass.
Most likely it will be ignored...by me!
Since my gratefulness is directed,
To the only 'One' that has bestowed upon me blessings!
And in my eyes, mind, body and soul...
You are not part of 'that mix' on any transfixing level.
All of this here you see,
Is God made.
Whether you like it or not to accept or reject.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Truth and Reality (Opinion)
Daily at the end of my "anusthaanam"-(spiritual ritual) ", I make a strong, fervent and sincere prayer to the Divinity that intellectuals and scholars in the world should be fearless and speak the truth without any inhibitions. This has been the tradition of our ancestors and speaking truth is essential for the benefit of the society and the society will be able to know the actualities and act on them.
Normally the rulers do not like the truth to be known. Also leaders of ideologies, religions, their supporters and the like also do not like the truth to be known to the ordinary people. The writers are normally and should be fearless such that the ills and evils in the society are exposed and remedial measures are taken. But what is truth?
Truth is what it is or as it is irrespective of perceptions of the individuals. Reality is what we see of truth; how much we see of truth. Reality is always dictated by our mental make-up, likes, dislikes, limitations in our ability and willingness to see, view, comprehend and accept the truth. Reality is individual's perception of the truth. Truth, most of the times, is only perceived and rarely understood or experienced. Thus reality is limited truth. Reality is either inability to be truthful or inability and limitations of the individual to see the truth unbiased. Also truth corresponds to the individual, about himself, his Self and the reality corresponds to the objective world within and without the body of the individual.
Real situations are compromised states of existence in the attempt of pursuit of the truth. We all talk about truth limited by our perception and not the truth most of the times. We have compulsions inbuilt, acquired or imagined not to accept the truth and allow truth to be spoken or spread through us. But truth is a flowing river. It may flood us but it never dries up. On the other the reality is like a stagnated lake. Our fear of repercussions taking place if we speak, accept or propagate truth, make us real and not truthful. We prefer peaceful and calm life. We call that realistic approach and adjust and compromise.
Thus, most of the times, we are not truthful. We are all limited and confined to our perceptions of truth. Truth is best revealed when understood or experienced. But we rarely get such insight. All our knowledge and information is hearsay through books, newspapers, magazines, radio and TV news channels, web sites etc, . We are all aware that these books and news items are filtered through the editors and owners of these media. Thus the perceptions of these responsible and financing individuals decide the truth content in the item. We pick up these as truth and argue or form our own perceptions. Sometimes the editorial policy of the editors or owners of these media do not allow truth as it is to reach us when they find it objectionable in that form. Thus truth is never completely known or allowed to be known and hence not completely comprehended. The fears, imaginations, illusions shape our perceptions and our comprehension of the truth. Many times it appears that no absolute truth exists or known, perceived or understood and experienced. Just as feelings and perceptions of good and bad and other qualities, truth is also relative as "truth to me", "truth to him", "truth to you", "truth to them" and a truth accepted by all is not possible and available to be expressed, accepted or spread and we all mistake our perceptions of truth as truth without understanding or experiencing the truth. But truth is like fire. It can not be hidden or held in hand.
the palm. Truth sneaks through our cautions and suppression and declares itself.
poem by Varanasi Ramabrahmam
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It Doesn't Pay To Stay Fantasized
It doesn't pay to stay fantasized with delusions.
It can become very awkward to dismiss the truth,
When one's life is now depending on it...
To piece together something,
That will help them to understand...
How to accept it without embellishment.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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