Just For Being
I agree with your assessments,
And the judgements that you've passed.
They are yours...
And not mine to argue.
The peace I reflect,
I did not purchase!
Or am I about to barter it away!
However...
Blemishes I have I do not hide.
I had no one there,
Protecting me with shelter...
To deny what others saw
When I appeared outside.
Sometimes followed by the law.
Just for being who I am.
A black man who is a descendent,
Of 'this' and not of foreign lands!
I wish I could sit and help others,
To dismiss their own conflicts...
With insecurities they self-inflict.
The scars I wear are not from fear.
Or from dodging comments from critics!
Whether they are far or near.
I am not here to re-adjust my appearance,
For anyone!
And whether or not that is clear...
Makes no difference,
To someone who has survived...
Out of the bowels of indifferences,
From all kinds who thrive.
Regardless of who I 'regard'...
As being in or out of their minds!
I am blessed not to have them,
Define my life at anytime!
I am not one to solicit confinement.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Related quotes
Assessments to Seduce
Address this any way you wish.
But during my grief periods...
God was with me.
And both of us sat in sorrow alone.
Your judgements passed on me does not matter.
Nor your assessments to seduce your reality.
Address this any way you wish.
But during my grief periods...
God was with me.
And both of us sat in sorrow alone.
I chose to heal.
I chose to sing.
I chose to dance and do those things.
Your judgements passed on me does not matter.
Nor your assessments to seduce your reality.
I chose to stand.
I chose to walk.
I chose the Sun!
Not the miseries others wished upon me to bring.
Hoping from obstacles faced,
I would run.
Address this any way you wish.
But during my grief periods...
God was with me.
And both of us sat in sorrow alone.
I chose to heal.
I chose to sing.
I chose to dance and do those things.
And whatever it is prioritized on your agenda?
I wish you all the best!
But don't count on me,
To give it attention with signs of protest.
I have chosen to ignore people like you.
Knowing that a focus on my own happiness...
Is what God wishes!
And that gift God has given...
Has proven to me I am blessed!
Address this any way you wish.
Your judgements passed on me does not matter.
Nor your assessments to seduce your reality.
I have chosen,
The freedom to be me.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Scrutinized For Their Blemishes
It is easy for many to sit back and critique,
With a judging done of those tasks...
Others produce with a doing to complete.
And if some people are prolific,
From experiences live that dictate this...
The critics are quick,
To stampede out from nowhere it seems...
With criticsms prepared,
Not to uplift or encourage...
But instead,
Demean.
But when given the opportunity to highlight their gifts,
Critics often spew excuses...
As those under microscope,
Are scrutinized for their blemishes.
Although,
Even those who enjoy themselves as critics...
Have moments they don't admit but wish,
An attention given to be critiqued...
Would validate a reason to rid their insecurities,
With a purpose in their minds that solidified their existence.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Subjected to Their Release of Insecurities
You will get and find attention,
IF it is to someone's benefit.
You will be treated with consideration,
IF someone else gets credit for it.
You will also be ignored by those who show and tell.
The subject of charades and gossip.
Someone will initiate a wish not to see you well.
IF you are the one who has peace of mind...
And dismiss conflicts of all kinds.
Someone will produce an obstacle for you.
IF you have managed to survive,
And thrive independently...
You will get and find attention,
From those unaccepting...
You have achieved maturity.
And maturity is a threat,
To those who do not respect who you are!
And 'how' you got that done.
You see...
You will get and find attention,
IF it is to someone's benefit.
Someone who has been stung and stunned!
And as long as you remain,
The fool they believe you to be!
Or that person they perceive provides them comedic relief...
To keep their sensibilities obtained and valued,
You will be subjected to their release of insecurities.
Especially if it is thought,
You are accessible to their antics.
And accustomed...as they see it,
To your own stupidity!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Introducing Doubt To Weaken
Remove I've done,
From a confinement to undo.
And to choose to escape,
From perceptions...
Time,
Has taught me to erase.
Remove I've done,
The faking of false faces.
Kept to do,
In fear that I would offend someone...
And masquerading in pretense,
Would find my presence more accepted.
Remove I've done,
Notions of impressions to give.
And to strip myself to expose my identity,
Has meant more to more...
Than the approval of someone lessened,
By a harboring of their own hidden insecurities.
Removed from me I have done,
Those kinds of deliberating limitations.
Introducing doubt to weaken,
My desire to live my life...
Free of anyone's ability,
To qualify the passing of their judgements.
That action,
Is not invited or solicited in defining my life...
Lived the way it has been intended.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Selectively Limited
When I give...
It is from within me,
That is done!
When I speak...
Not a bush do I beat,
Like some may do and run.
My purpose has been made very clear.
And those who fear,
Make excuses heard...
Far and near.
When I give...
It is from within me,
That is done!
When I speak...
Not a bush do I beat,
Like some may do and run.
Protecting insecurities.
No eye contact made to greet...
Those they pass on familiar streets.
I am happiest when others live lives of truth.
It is difficult to face it.
It was for me.
But denial kept me abused and confused.
And when I refused deception of all kinds...
I began to speak from my heart.
And found 'peace' to be a friend of mine.
Although I do admit,
My contact with some folks...
Has been selectively limited.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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You Do The Hanging 'In' There
Let me tell 'you' somethin'
I appreciate your comments,
And from the place in your head
With assessments made.
But
You do the hanging 'in' there
You the one hold your head up and be strong.
Whatever those perceptions you perceive me to be
From an outer appearance you find important to judge.
Aint' nothing here you see weak about me.
I am aware of the wrapping done to my package.
I lead.
I do not follow.
And I may do this with tears.
With acceptance.
Not with misery.
There is not one step I've made in my life,
That occurred with dependable and/or reliable
Assistance done from anyone,
Who replaced my challenges and obstacles
With vanilla smoothies!
My faith kept my pace.
And when I awaken each day I am grateful.
I pray for strength and I get it.
And I do know from where my strength comes.
Nothing I've done has a confused moment about it!
Ain't nothing here you see,
Weak about me.
I appreciate your comments,
And from the place in your head
With assessments made.
But
You do the hanging 'in' there.
You the one hold your head up and be strong.
Whatever those perceptions you perceive me to be
From an outer appearance you find important to judge.
I don't take the time to do that to anyone.
I am here to do to get done.
Not to critique those tasks given I do to complete.
Or take the time to observe who is observing me.
You do the hanging 'in' there.
You the one hold your head up and be strong.
I know who I am
With eyes clear and direction taken!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Standards Valued
Their leaders fed them greed.
That has led them to a brick wall,
Stalled.
And now they wish to push their ignorance to new limits.
Since their selfish way of life...
Has been severely for them,
Diminished.
They still choose to refer to 'them' as 'those'.
With every need they had from 'them'...
Stolen.
Gold and oil and treasured gems.
All of it belonging to 'those' and not 'them'.
And all their interests...
Has been for them to pick conflicts.
On foreign lands.
And now their debts made that must be paid...
Are owed to foreign hands.
And on their own shores a man elected,
To lift them out of their own swill.
Is scrutinized not for his ability...
But for his skin color.
Some have chosen to overshadow...
In pointless debates!
To smother his abilities...
And his apparent skills!
At a sacrifice to belabor their weight.
As those of small minds,
Are overheard reminding themselves...
'But he is BLACK!
How will his mind 'absorb'...
What we know from birth he lacks,
Because of that fact! '
Fools of gluttony!
With minds poisoned from sheltered environments.
Believe themselves the 'chosen ones'.
Although their evilness...
Makes them the most barbaric on Earth.
Always on a binge of defensiveness.
Always seeking enemies and terrorists.
And they fear their standards valued,
Will change!
And threaten the darkness...
They wish not to miss with a protectiveness.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Suggestions
Few suggestions do I make.
Especially to those,
Who solicit them.
Most times folks await,
Suggestions they prefer and like.
And it becomes difficult,
To be both honest and polite...
With someone who tries to define,
My interpretation...
Of what I 'really' meant.
To defy in denial...
With a prepared and customary,
Excuse.
Few suggestions do I make.
Especially to those,
Who solicit them.
When I know I am honest in my assessments.
And folks aren't ready for the truth...
Unless it agrees with them.
Only to hear them say back to me,
'What makes you an authority?
Judge and jury? '
My response?
'Years experienced,
In being a complete jackass!
And it becomes easier for me to identify one!
You...
Are still in the midst of development.
And I understand that too! '
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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On This Same Path Alone
For many years I have walked by myself,
On this same path alone.
Long before your birth.
Or your first steps taken to you were known.
I've absorbed criticisms about what I've done.
And ostracized because my beliefs,
Were not accepted by many.
And quite foreign to some.
I've been accused of not being black enough.
By those who now sip cocktails with whites.
I dare to be who I am at all times...
Around those without identities!
And when I am near they become uptight.
But they claim to be who they are...
Whenever they have that as an appetite!
You know the ones?
Those who pass their judgements,
On everyone!
And those who approach,
As if what I do they can do much better.
Not knowing my disposition,
Has been honed by stormy weather.
I do not argue.
But instead I am quite entertained.
Since I know these folks would run to seek shelter...
At the hint of a cloud.
Or the aspects of falling rain!
And I make no claims of not having competition.
I just live my life...
Comprehending I have none!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Comeon...Get On Your Own Nerves
I know you would love to find with me...
At fault with blemishes.
A big 'ole' zit sitting on my cheek unfit!
You'd like to see me laddened with imperfection.
Finding me to spot somewhere,
Dropping errors of all kinds.
All over the place.
With speech impediments.
And incorrect language usage.
To announce to all mankind!
And you are there,
To detect each undotted 'i'.
An uncrossed 't'.
With comments I make...
You are right there to question'
Or debate for content.
'I am black!
~But how do I know that?
How far back can that be traced,
In your ancestry? ~
Before I use any restroom...
I do look over my shoulder.
You've got me wanting to protect,
My own business.
In fact,
With you around...
All of it is on lockdown!
Of late!
You feel this is your purpose.
Something that eases and comforts your mind.
Something I do...
That keeps you on my behind!
And no...
That is not an invitation.
I must be careful what I say.
You might regard that as a solicitation.
And yet,
When you observe your own reflection...
I am not there at all!
And you 'still' accuse me,
For all of your flaws.
With beliefs your insecurities are invisible.
But to whom?
You are the only one attempting to convince,
Your presence is envied.
But 'why' is it necessary,
To use me as validation?
Why me?
Why have you chosen me,
As 'your' obligation?
And 'why' if you see yourself as better...
Than any living 'thing' that walks upon the Earth!
You must remind me of it?
By getting on 'my' nerves.
Have you no self worth?
You are the one thirsting to have that acknowledged.
Comeon...
Get on your own nerves.
Feel deserving of it.
At least be brave,
And leave me alone!
I don't need you around to know I am fantastic.
Why can't you do the same?
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Easier to Be Selective
Doesn't it seem easier to be selective,
When one's life has been materialistically blissed?
Easy it comes to pass judgements on others,
As if one has a purpose to do it!
Doesn't it seem easier when one has money,
To do with as one pleases?
To make demands and have them met.
And show disrespect without regret.
Doesn't it appear easier to live life without needs,
Or wants.
To purchase and/or throw away...
And maybe choose some people to taunt!
Doesn't it seem as if those people do what they desire?
Doesn't it seem as if it was just yesterday...
Those same people today,
Have been expose to be the biggest thieves.
Deceitful evil liars.
And now the ones on their knees...
Pleading,
To be forgiven for a world in dire straits.
One in which they participated to diminish...
A quality of life that has no escapes.
With conscious deeds to destroy humanity!
And this has evidence they wish not to admit.
Even 'if' they choose to charade and dismiss...
A degrading of their masquerades.
Much too obvious today...
For anyone not to witness it, .
To deny it does not exist!
With wishes the creation of these conflicts...
Would disappear and go away.
For a return of a selected chosen bliss...
Once loved when it betrayed!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Not Your Enabler
I am not existing,
In pretense...
Your insecurities,
I will dismiss.
Nor will I come to understand,
With an acceptance to defend...
At my expense,
It is okay when you display...
Your way of living your life,
Does not get in my way!
I am not existing,
In pretense...
Your insecurities,
I will dismiss.
I am your friend!
Not your enabler to use and offend!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Now Or Ever
You've excluded me from depictions,
Of how your perfect life should be lived.
Those depictions were inflicted.
And for years,
To me you did this.
If you were not facing unsurmountable conflicts,
I doubt seriously if a 'we together' would be heard...
Coming from your lips.
That is a fact of life that between us has existed.
Painting over a Zebra's stripes...
Doesn't diminish the sight of it!
And what makes you think a 'togetherness' is what I wish?
I'm not the one with a mind confused in conflict.
I remember your specific words...
'Why bother with someone I regard as worthless.'
You've excluded me from depictions,
Of how your perfect life should be lived.
Those depictions were inflicted.
And for years,
To me you did this.
You left me to survive alone.
And on my own you were not in the picture.
Now or ever will that be my wish.
I did not barter my soul,
Hoping for a price paid by the highest bidder.
Nor did I quit to whore...
To solicit impressions to make.
Your chose to go through that door.
You left me to survive alone.
And on my own you were not in the picture.
Now or ever will that be my wish.
You chose to whore now you handle it!
I don't think of you like the others do.
You can blitz them with bling and other meaningless things.
But someone without integrity...
Has nothing else to offer to deliver,
Or without strings attached to me bring!
If you were not facing unsurmountable conflicts,
I doubt seriously if a 'we together' would be heard...
Coming from your lips.
You've excluded me from depictions,
Of how your perfect life should be lived.
Those depictions were inflicted.
And for years,
To me you did this.
Remove your garbage from my door.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Quick Seizures
Run...
Through the valleys of your deepest fears,
And escaping pain.
Run...
And stay clear of deceptive faces,
Some may take time...
To define and clarify.
Run...
Out pace temptations chasing,
They too seek someone to cling onto.
Someone like you,
In denial and yet,
Knowing on the inside
Someone like you,
Not showing it on the outside
Is inside desiring...
Needs you have to be touched,
Fucked and satisfied!
But prostitution should not be,
What this feeling can deliver...
When it's been on hold overtime!
To slowly freeze.
You're ready to thaw!
Run...
They seek quick seizures.
With judgements passed to place!
They come to haunt you with false charges.
Memories revealed you knew weren't real of face!
Run...
Your peace of mind is wanted,
And it threatens those with no sense.
Even though they know you know it shows...
They feel better with you caged and fenced!
Run...
Through the valleys of your deepest fears,
And escaping pain.
Run...
And stay clear of deceptive faces,
Some may take time...
To define and clarify.
When you've got them out of view...
Forget their constant screaming!
Run...
Through the valleys of your deepest fears,
And escaping pain.
Run...
And stay clear of deceptive faces,
Some may take time...
To define and clarify.
Run...
Out pace temptations chasing,
They too seek someone to cling onto.
Someone like you,
Refusing in denial and yet,
When not in sight...so needy.
Run...
They seek quick seizures.
With judgements passed to place!
They come to haunt you with false charges.
Memories revealed you knew weren't real of face!
Run...
Your peace of mind is wanted,
And it threatens those with no sense.
Even though they know you know it shows...
They feel better with you caged and fenced!
Run...
Through the valleys of your deepest fears,
And escaping pain.
Run...
And stay clear of deceptive faces,
Some may take that time...
To define them and clarify.
But...
When you've got them out of view...
Forget their constant screaming!
Forget what you've gone through,
And live that life you're dreaming!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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If Not For Love
If not for love,
no love poems would have been written.
None of us would experience life,
without the act.
Some could and would,
argue about that.
And without the act of love...
how would our indifferences thrive?
If love was not kept wanted...
with a thirsting no one can overcome.
Or a driving purpose that keeps us alive.
Yet suspected to exist.
Hidden by fears it has been dismissed.
And so disguised by those who want some.
If not for love...
would any of this get to be done?
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Black Beauty
Black beauty stares at me,
I am amazed to see
In her eyes: my liberty.
Her eyes are like mine, but softer,
Despite the scars she proudly bears,
All earned protecting me from fears and snares.
Born in the motherland centuries ago;
She has survived the slave master's blow.
Overcoming Ignorance and hate;
She has sidestepped bigotry's destructive fate,
Black beauty has borne fruit.
Her smile sheds light onto the darkened path,
And she communes with the Creator on my behalf.
And on really bad days, we share a laugh.
She is strongest when I am weak.
She provides the words when I can't seem to speak.
Black beauty: the best part of me.
poem by Monciana Edmondson
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Move home move dust
Go - no shelter will ever deny
Go - no word will ever define
Those who have no home
Away – no hand will wave goodbye
Away – each land is good enough to die
Hide- no hide can bear a naked skin
Hide – the first day to the last is kin
Shield – no word will shield the screams on edge
Shield – no road will cover your silent pledge
poem by Miroslava Odalovic
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Clearly Not the Leeches
The choice is quite clear.
On one side are those,
Of decadent minds.
Breeders of secrets and deceit.
Experienced at it.
And they want their defects known.
On the other hand...
You have those who are thoughtful and concern.
Honest with their assessments.
And do not deny,
There are lessons they need to learn.
But they are clearly not the leeches...
Who taught everyone how to enjoy,
Dignifying themselves...
As they do backstrokes in cesspools.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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In Need Of a Deep Cleansing
What is not working,
Has long passed the hour...
Of needing to be fixed.
Whether acknowledging this from a pulpit.
Or soliciting self righteous views...
Through politics,
It makes no difference.
What is not working,
Has long passed the hour...
Of needing to be fixed.
A lack of maturity has overstayed its visit.
Reality, truth and one's perceived existence,
Are not all on the same page as steps to correct.
So many are confused,
And accustomed to being mentally abused...
They refused to remove the veil from their eyes.
With wishes to delude their lives as has been undenied,
As few attempts are made to free and adjust...
Most minds fixed upon temptations and lust.
What is not working,
Has long passed the hour...
Of needing to be fixed.
With a need to be 'real' with it!
Whether acknowledging this from a pulpit.
Or soliciting self righteous views...
Through politics,
It makes no difference.
We...
Are in need,
Of a soul searching done...
That affects the success a deep cleansing gets!
We...
Are in need,
Of deep cleansing.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Peace Everywhere
Peace, everywhere, peace today!
Peace in lands of scruffy trees and pine,
Peace in lands of olives and wine,
Peace in lands where peaks are white,
Peace in lands where fields are bright.
Peace in lands of oasis and sand,
Peace in lands where people band,
Peace in lands where children play,
Peace in lands where people pray,
Peace in lands in the thick of the fight,
Peace in lands ruled by force and might.
Everywhere, everywhere, peace this day!
Pray that all world leaders lead the way,
Encouraging moral people to stand proud and tall,
No government too great, no nation too small.
poem by Joseph T. Renaldi
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