Related quotes: Sex sex sex sex! That's...

In the Midst of My Research

Sex sex sex sex!
That's all you filthy kids,
Consume yourselves with these days.
You should be seeking redemption,
For your tainted lost souls.

'Grandpa...
These are not my magazines.
Mom said she found them,
While vacuuming under your bed.
Do you want them?
Or should they be thrown away? '

Listen!
And closely.
Tell your mother,
I am in the midst of my research.
If she and your father,
Aren't going to keep up to date with you kids...
Who else will ensure you are aware of these ills?
Santa Claus?

No!
Don't throw them away.
I'm very close to preparing my talk with you.
Hand them to me.

'When is that going to be, grandpa? '

Neveryoumind...
Just hand them over.
I'll discuss this with your folks, first.
To co-ordinate our schedules.
You go outside and play with your friends.
And before you do...
Make sure you tell your mother of my plans.
I'm sure she had no clue of my concerns.

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!

Related quotes

I Believe In Santa Claus

I believe in santa claus
I believe in santa claus
I believe theres always hope when all seems lost
And I believe in santa claus
I believe in santa claus, Ill tell you why I do
cause I believe that dreams and plans and wishes can come true
I believe in miracles, I believe in magic too
Oh I believe in santa claus and I believe in you
I believe in family, in country and in smiles
I believe in turnin negatives to positives in life
I believe in lookin farther up the farther down we get
I believe when someone hurts us we should forgive and forget
And I believe in santa claus
I believe in santa claus
I believe love should prevail at any cost
And I believe in santa claus
I believe in saying what you mean and meaning what you say
I believe a better attitude can make a better way
And I believe in viewing life as a journey that were on
And lookin at our troubles as another stepping stone
And I believe that everything in life is what its meant to be
I believe there is a God somewhere although hes hard to see
I believe I am so therefore I should do all that I can
To be a better piece in the puzzle of gods plan
And I believe in santa claus
I believe in santa claus
I believe theres always hope when all seems lost
And I believe in santa claus
Let the little children sing it
I believe in santa claus, I believe in santa claus
I believe in santa claus, I believe in santa claus
Let the whole world sing it with us
I believe in santa claus, I believe in santa claus
I believe in santa claus, I believe in santa claus
Let the whole world sing it with us
I believe in santa claus
I believe in santa claus
I believe theres always hope when all seems lost
I believe in santa claus

song performed by by Dolly Parton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!

I'm My Own Grandpa

It was many many years ago when I was twenty-three,
I was married to a widow, she's as pretty as can be.
This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red,
my father fell in lover with her, and soon these two were wed.

I'm my own grandpa, I'm my own grandpa.
It sounds silly, I know, but it really is so, oh
I'm my own grandpa.

This made my dad my son-in-law and changed my very life:
My daughter was my mother 'cause she was my father's wife.
And then to complicate the matter, though it brought me joy,
I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy.

This bouncing baby then became a brother-in-law to dad,
and so became my uncle, though it made me very sad,
for if he was my uncle then he also was the brother
of the widow's grown-up daughter, who, of course, was my step-mother.

I'm my own grandpa, I'm my own grandpa.
It sounds silly, I know, but it really is so, oh
I'm my own grandpa.

Father's wife then had a son who kept them on the run.
And he became my grandchild, for he was my daughter's son.
My wife is now my mother's mother, and it makes me blue,
because although she is my wife, she's my grandmother, too.

Now if my wife is my grandmother, then I am her grandchild.
And every time I think of it, it nearly drives me wild.
For now I have become the strangest case you ever saw.
Husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa.

I'm my own grandpa, I'm my own grandpa.
It sounds silly, I know, but it really is so, oh
I'm my own grandpa.

poem by Sheldon Allan Silverstein
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!

Santa Claus

Written by john jarrad, teddy gentry, randy owen, greg fowler, linda gentry
You always come around this time of year with your big ole bag that's full of christmas cheer
And when it starts to snow the little boys and girls all know soon they'll hear the sound of your reindeer
Now sometimes grownups grow up to believe that you don't really come on
Christmas eve
But i don't think that's true 'cause i know i see you in sparking little eyes
Around the tree
Oh santa claus, i still believe in you
And there's still a kid inside of me that still believes you're true
Oh santa claus, the kids are tucked in tight
And it's time to play ole santa clause tonight
Well i don't see how anybody could ever doubt that there's really a santa
Clause.
Not if they've ever seen a little girl with her arms wrapped around her baby
Doll, so tight both of 'em waking up mama and daddy way before daylight
And grandma and grandpa are looking young and full of life, just knowin' that
Their grandkids are gonna be alright
And mama and daddy, they'll be waitin' up to answer ole santa's call.
"cause tonight they ain't worried about the bills- lord they're just lovin'
It all
Oh santa claus, i still believe in you
And there's still a kid inside of me that still believes you're true
Oh santa claus, the kids are tucked in tight
And i'll be waiting up for you tonight
Ho-ho-ho

song performed by by Alabama
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!

No More Living Dead, Zombie Kids

What do you think you are doing
to these kids?
Please stop destroying these kids' minds!
Are you that cold-hearted?
Don't you care?
Maybe you don't. But I do.
Don't you remember back when
you had feelings
for your wife, girlfriend,
husband, boyfriend,
mother, father,
grandma, grandpa,
or brother or sister, or friend?
So please let these kids
live a normal life
instead of being the living dead zombies.
Let the boys be boys
Let the girls be girls.
Let them show feelings,
show emotions, show love.
I want to hear their laughter,
hear them chatter kids talk.
I want to see them play,
run, learn, just having fun.
Let these kids live and grow
a normal life.
They could be the future mother,
future father,
future husband, wife,
future author, writer or a poet,
future president,
future owner of a company,
future farmer, future teacher, etc....
But they can't
if you keep on feeding them
with these killer drugs.
Please for once listen to somebody
even me.
You know who I'm talking to...
it's you the one who sells
and manufactures
cocaine, crank, LSD, marijuana,
acid, etc....
Maybe it's too late for you
to live a normal life
But don't let it
be too late for the kids
if you really care.
Please no more living dead,
zombie kids.

poem by Noreen Ann Jenkins
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!

That's How We Met!

I once met a woman from Nantucket.
Who wanted me to add fluid in her bucket...

'GRANDPA? ? ? '

You asked me to recite a poem!
You kids don't know what you want.

'Yeah,
But grandpa...
Comeon.
You've got to have more on your mind,
Besides sex! '

SEX?
You kids are sumthin' else!
Who in the hell's talking about sex?
That woman just happens to have been your grandmother.
She sucked some gasoline out of my car,
To get her own started.
Using a hose.
I had never seen that before.
That's how we met!
And sex was the furthest thing from our minds.

'Oh yeah?
Well...
How did my mother get here? '

On a TRAIN!
How many times do I have to tell you that! ?

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!

Kids

Kids - kids, Christmas i-is for kids
Look around and you will see
Kids from one to ninety-three
Laughin', lovin' life and bein' kids
Kids - ki-i-i-ids, Christmas i-is for kids
Kids like you and little brother
Aunts and uncles, dads and mothers
Grandma, grandpa an' all the other kids
Daddy runs the 'lectric train
While all the children wait in vain
To take their turn
At playin' engineer
Grandpa catches grandma's cheek
And all the family sneaks a peak
And suddenly
Their wrinkles disappear
Take a look at Betty Joe
Underneath the mistletoe
Pretending that
She doesn't know it's there
And in the front yard Uncle Mike
Just fell off brother's brand new bike
There's Christmas cheer
And laughter everywhere
Kids (kids) - ki-i-i-ids (kids)
Christmas i-is for kids
Christmas time is here again
And now it's when the fun begins
This time of year we all turn into kids...

song performed by by Kenny Rogers
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!

Santa Claus

Santa Claus
Santa Claus

Up and down the chimney
Santa Claus is coming

Its the time of the year
Oh! Yes, Santa Claus is near
Lots of presents and toys
For my good girls and boys

Santa Claus
Santa Claus

Up and down the reindeers
Santa Claus is flying

Get out your Christmas tree
His presents are for free
Made by his elves
working hard in the northpole
Make sure your Xmas stockings
do not have any holes

Santa Claus
Santa Claus

Up and down the chimney
Santa Claus is coming

poem by Sylvia Chidi
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!

'Zat You, Santa Claus?

'Zat You, Santa Claus?
Gifts I'm preparing for some Christmas sharing,
But I pause because,
Hanging my stocking I can hear a knocking.
'Zat you, Santa Claus?
Sure is dark out, ain't the slightest spark out.
'Pon my slackened jaw!
Who's there? Who is it stopping for a visit?
'Zat you, Santa Claus?
Are you bringing a present for me,
Something pleasantly pleasant for me?
Then it's just what I've been waiting for.
Would you mind slipping it under the door?
Cold winds are howling, or could that be growling?
My legs feel like straws.
My my oh me my, kindly would you reply?
'Zat you, Santa Claus?
Hanging the stocking, I can hear a knocking.
'Zat you, Santa Claus?
I say, who's there, who is it? Are you stopping for a visit?
'Zat you, Santa Claus?
Oh there, Santa, you gave me a scare.
Now stop teasing cause I know you're there.
We don't believe in no goblins today,
But I can't explain why I'm shaking that way.
Bet I can see ole Santa in the keyhole.
I'll get to the cause.
One peek and I'll try there; oh oh, there's an eye there!
'Zat you, Santa Claus?
Please, please, pity my knees!
Say that's you, Santa Claus!

song performed by by Louis Armstrong
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!

Santas Beard

I wanna meet santa claus, the real real santa
I wanna meet santa claus, the real real santa
I wanna see santa claus, the real real santa
He wants to meet ol santa claus
I took my brother to the department store
He wanted to show santa his christmas list
He stood in line and he shook like a leaf
Hes only five and a half goin on six
He said, is that (that santa) really santa claus,
Really really (the real santa) santa claus?
Is that (that santa) really santa claus, really really santa?
(I hope he doesnt pull santas beard)
Is that (that santa) really santa claus,
Really really (the real santa) santa?
Hope he thinks thats santa claus
I picked him up and put him on santas lap
And then he pulled the pillow out of his shirt
He yanked the beard right on off of his chin
And in his eyes I could see he was hurt
He said, youre not (not santa) really santa claus,
Youre really not (the real santa) santa claus
Youre not (not santa) really santa claus,
Youre really not santa (he shouldnta pulled santas beard)
Youre not (not santa) santa claus,
Youre really not (the real santa) santa
Hes just helpin santa claus
Hes just helpin (helpin santa) santa claus,
The real (the real santa) real santa
Hes helpin (helpin santa) santa claus,
The real (the real santa) real santa
Hes just helpin (helpin santa) santa claus,
The real (the real santa) real santa
Hes just helpin santa claus
Hes just helpin (helpin santa) santa claus,
The real (the real santa) real santa
Hes just helpin (helpin santa) santa claus,
The real (he shouldnta pulled santas beard) real santa
Hes just helpin (helpin santa) santa claus,
The real (the real santa) real santa
Hes just helpin santa claus

song performed by by Beach Boys
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!

Here Comes Santa Claus

(words & music by autry - haldeman)
Here comes santa claus, here comes santa claus,
Right down santa claus lane.
Vixen, blitzen, all his reindeer
Pulling on the reins.
Bells are ringing, children singing,
All is merry and bright.
Hang your stockings and say a prayer,
'cause santa claus comes tonight.
Here comes santa claus, here comes santa claus,
Riding down santa claus lane.
He's got a bag that's filled with toys
For boys and girls again.
Hear those sleigh bells jingle jangle,
What a beautiful sight.
Jump in bed and cover up your head,
Because santa claus comes tonight.
Here comes santa claus, here comes santa claus,
Riding down santa claus lane.
He doesn't care if you're a rich or poor boy,
He loves you just the same.
Santa knows that we're god's children,
That makes everything right.
Fill your hears with christmas cheer,
'cause santa claus comes tonight.
Well, here comes santa claus, here comes santa claus,
Riding down santa claus lane.
He'll come around when the chimes ring out
It's christmas morn again.
Peace on earth will come to all
If we just follow the light
Let's give thanks to the lord above,
'cause santa claus comes tonight.
'cause santa claus comes tonight

song performed by by Elvis Presley
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!

You Better Sit Down Kids

Better sit down kids
Ill tell you why, kids
You might not understand, kids
But give it a try, kids
Now how should I put this
Ive got something to say
You mother is staying
But Im going away
No, were not mad, kids
Its hard to say why
Your mother and i
Dont see eye to eye
Say your prayers before you go to bed
Make sure you get yourself to school on
Time
I know youll do the things your mother
Asks
Shes gonna need you most to stay in
Line
Keep in mind your mothers gonna need
Your help a whole lot more than she
Ever did before
No more fights over little things
Because
I wont be here to stop them anymore
I know you dont want this, neither do
We
But sometimes things happen
That we cant foresee
Now try to be calm, kids
And dont look so sad
Just cause I am leaving
Ill still be your dad
Just remember I love you
And though Im not here
Just call if you need me
And Ill always be near
(repeat chorus)
Well, I have to go now
So kiss me goodbye
My eyes are just red, kids
Im too big to cry

song performed by by Cher
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!

Santa Claus Is Coming To Town

You better watch out
You better not cry
You better not pout
I'm telling you why
Santa Claus Is Coming To Town
He's making a list
He's checking it twice
Gonna find out who's
Naughty or nice
Santa Claus Is Coming To Town
The kids in Girl-And-Boy Land
Will have a jubilee
They're gonna build a toyland
All around the Christmas tree
You better watch out
You better not cry
You beter not pout
I'm telling you why
Santa Claus Is Coming To Town
Santa Claus Is Coming
Santa Claus Is Coming
Santa Claus Is Coming
He's coming to town

song performed by by Hilary Duff
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!

Like A Lost Lamb..

LIKE MY FRIENDS AND OTHER KIDS......
I AM AFRAID MUM............
EVERYTHING IS WRONG
I AM NOT SO STRONG
SHALL I ADVENTURE AND GO?
SHALL I FOLLOW THEIR PATH?
PROTECT ME FROM TEMPTATION
I HAVE NO IMAGINATION
I CAN'T HAVE ANY OCCUPATION....
HOW SHALL I GET OUT OF FRUSTRATION?
I NEED YOUR LOVE AND AFFECTION MUM....
I AM LOST LIKE A LAMB............
LIKE SOMEONE DUMB...
I AM LOOKING FOR A MUM.
I AM LOOKING FOR DREAMS
I AM SEEKING MY WAY........
I AM SEARCHING MYSELF AMONG THE CROWD
WHAT CAN I DO TO UNDERSTAND?
GIVE ME A HAND MUM.
GIVE ME A HAND DAD..........
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT...
THE WORLD IS NOT WHAT YOU TAUGHT ME..........
THE WORLD IS NOT WHAT YOU TOLD ME...
I AM SO LONELY.......I FEEL SO BAD..
I FEEL SO SAD MUM.........I FEEL SO SAD DAD...........
SHALL I MAKE TO MY LIFE AN END?
LIKE MY FRIENDS AND OTHER KIDS?
LIKE A LOST LAMB...........................

poem by Bouche Cousue
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!

Santa Claus Is Coming To Town

You better watch out
You better not cry
You better not put Im tellin you why
Santa claus is coming to town
Hes making a list and checkin it twice
Gonna find out whos knotty or nice
Santa claus is coming to town
He sees you when your sleepin
He knows when youre awake
He knows if youve been bad or good
So be good for goodness sake
O you better watch out
You better not cry
You better not put Im tellin you why
Santa claus is coming to town
With little tin horns
And little toy drums
Rutty toot, toots and rummy tum, tum
Santa claus is coming to town
With curly head dogs to cuttle and hug
Elephants, ropes, and kitty card to
Santa claus is coming to town
The kids and girl and boy land
Will have a jubilee
There gonna fill the toy lad all around with christmas trees
So you better watch out
You better not cry
You better not put Im tellin you why
Santa claus is coming
Santa claus is coming to town

song performed by by George Strait
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!

One day perhaps I'll understand.

They say there is no Santa Claus
the bigger kids. Its just your dad
I don’t believe their lies of course
Although sometimes it makes me sad

I haven’t got a dad you see.
He died a long, long time ago
There’s just my mum my sis and me
That’s why I’m certain that I know.

There has to be a Santa Claus.
On Christmas morning there will be.
Some presents for each of us
in piles beneath the Christmas tree.

I only six but I know this.
That Santa works all through the night
making sure he does not miss.
A chance to bring a child delight.

One day I hope to catch the sight
of Santa Claus all dressed in red.
But mummy makes me go to bed
and she will watch for him instead.

She leaves mince pies and ginger wine.
Then she settles down to wait.
My sister goes to bed at nine.
Mum falls asleep and wakes too late.

He’s been and gone, so have the pies
While mother slept, kind Santa crept
into the house and ate the pies.
He left our presents while we slept.

At least that’s what my mother says.
If I should ask why she cries
On this the happiest of days.
Because I miss him she replies.

I’m not quite sure I understand
the reason for my mummy’s tears
Santa has gone back to Lapland
where has lived for years and years.

I think my older sister knows
A secret that she will not tell
She’s not allowed to suppose.
Because she sometimes cries as well.

But I’m a boy and boys don’t cry
But when they cry it makes me sad
Although I really don’t know why.
I never really knew my Dad.

Tuesday,01 December 2009
http: // blog.myspace.com/poeticpiers

poem by Ivor Or Ivor.e Hogg
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!

One day pehaps I'll understand Tissues warning