I See This Reflected

I used to think of them as funny too.
People who acted foolishly,
To portray themselves as clowns and buffoons.
In fact,
The more they acted like that I never took them seriously.
I wanted to be entertained by them continuously.

I noticed when I got older,
I hated to see people I knew with intelligence...
Disrespected for their attempts to convince they had sense.
And mocked for the doing of it to diminish with contempt.
Wanting them with wishes meant to lower their self esteem,
With a representing others who also had lower expectations...
Dreamed.

And I see this reflected upon the children who have no respect,
For others in this kind of environment...
Wanting to become successful with the doing of their best.
But depicted to be fools for thinking to believe,
They can achieve to heights if they wanted to succeed.
And although difficult they do...
With a disregarding those who object to their goals and priorities.

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Wanting To Meet Love To Give People

Ah-ah-ah-ooo,
You send me...
A peace of me in me I see.
Ah-ah-ah-ooo,
You send me...
Joy,
And happiness.

The BEST I've MET!

Ah-ooo...
Nobody,
Has ever...
Wanted to get that close to me.
Ah-ah-ah...
Or showed me that they wanted to be.
Ah-ah-ah...
Or showed that kind of respect to me.

Ah-ah-ah...
I'm wanting to meet love to give people.
Ah-ah-ah...
Wanting to meet love to give people.
Ah-ah-ah...
I'm wanting to meet love to give people.
Ah-ah-ah...
Wanting to meet love to give people.

Ah-ah,
Ah-ooo...
Nobody,
Has ever...
Wanted to get that close to me.
Ah-ah-ah...
Or showed me that they wanted to be.
Ah-ah-ah...
Or showed that kind of respect to me.

Ah-ah-ah...
I'm wanting to meet love to give people.
Ah-ah-ah...
Wanting to meet love to give people.
Ah-ah-ah...
I'm wanting to meet love to give people.
Ah-ah-ah...
Wanting to meet love to give people.

Ah-ah-ah-ooo...
Ah-ah,
Ah-ah-aaaahhhh.

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Climb to Heights

Motivate and inspire...
Those with an insight,
Who desire to climb to heights.

Lift their spirits with best wishes.
This excites.
And delights the ones...
Wishing to achieve,
With a purpose done that is perceived.

Bombarded are people like these,
By some who would rather see them...
Fail and fall down on their knees.
Yet...
Wanting to please,
Can pressure expectations.
And devastate those sensitive.
Who wish to give themselves with impatience.
Since this is the life for them that is lived.

Wanting to please,
Can keep a mind awake at night.
And discouraged with no appetite.

Wanting to please,
Can isolate good intentions wished.
And leave those thoughtful,
Giving up on their gifts.
And this does not produce,
For them or anyone...
One single benefit.

Motivate and inspire,
Those with an insight,
Who desire to climb to heights.

Lift their spirits with best wishes.
This excites.
And delights the ones,
Wishing to achieve.
With a purpose done that is perceived.

Those wanting to believe,
What they do is for you!
And caring less about themselves,
As much as they do for for you!
And/or someone else.

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You'd Be Making a Lot More Money

Why don't you go somewhere else,
Where you can become more 'noticed'.

'Noticed?
Noticed for what? '

What it is that you do.

'I don't know what you mean by that,
However...
What makes you 'think' I am not noticed? '

You can't be.
Not here.

'Oh...
I see where you're going with this.
You mean 'noticed' in a way,
That celebrities and stars are noticed'

Yeah, yeah...
Exactly.

'So you can say you know me?
Is that it? '

NAW!
So 'you' can be happy!

'And...
I'm not happy? '

You can't be!

'Why? '

Because you live 'here'!

'OH...
So I can not be happy,
Doing exactly what I choose to do...
AND live here.
Is that it? '

People don't have respect,
For someone like you...
Here!

'And what makes you think,
I am not accustomed to being disrespected?
That has nothing to do with what it is I do.
Nor my choice to live here.
I love what I do.
I love where I live.
I love the people I come in contact with.
Why would I choose to go somewhere else?
I can expect to get disrespected.
AND...
Check it out!
That has helped me achieve my success!

And I couldn't afford to get that anywhere else,
But right here.
That may seem foolish to you!
But my mama didn't raise no fools! '

You'd be making a lot more money!

'To have you calling me every five minutes,
To borrow some?
No thanks! '

poem by Lawrence S. PertillarReport problemRelated quotes
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With First Steps Taken

In it from the beginning!
With first steps taken and a curiousness.
Yes,
In the beginning...
I felt was mine was what I touched.

And it seemed so real,
I could take...
What it was I touched.

In it from the beginning!
With first steps taken and a curiousness.
Yes,
It was the beginning,
That made me feel...
I could take whatever I touched.

And it seemed so real,
I could take,
What it was I touched.
And wanted much.

Like a toy I saw another child with it and had,
I wanted.
I wanted.

Like a car I saw drive away from my path,
I wanted.
I wanted.

Like a love between two people shared,
Who acted like they walked on air...
I wanted.
I wanted.

And it seemed so real,
I could take,
What it was I touched.
And wanted much.

If I saw somebody new and they were with someone else,
So what...
I just wanted.
To get up on it.

And it seemed so real to me,
I could take anything I wanted.
To flaunt and get up on it.

Like a love between two people shared,
Who acted like they walked on air...
I wanted.
Oh yes,
I wanted.

Because it seemed so real to me,
I could take anything I wanted.
To flaunt and get up on it.

Yes, it seemed a dream to me...
To feed whatever I wanted.

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Hilary Duff

I have an older sister named Haley and she wanted to be an actress. So I wanted to be an actress. It's really funny the way that some people don't give kids enough credit for like really being driven, and really wanting to do things so badly.

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Wanting Out

I turned around
and there you were
standing in front of me
i can't ignore
the fact that you were back for more
It's kind of funny when you think about it
It's kind of hard to agree to disagree
now we're back to the start
no buts, no buts
but you want me back
so take me away
'cause I don't wanna be found
I should learn to speak up
When enough is enough
and I'm wanting out
and I'm wanting out
I saw you smiling in that photograph
and I remember how we used to laugh
but that was then
forgive and forget
that was easiest
so take me away
'cause I don't wanna be found
I should learn to speak up
When enough is enough
and I'm wanting out
and I'm wanting out------
ohhh
dadadadada dadada ohhh
And I don't know if I can get through this
and I never knew that before
you make up your mind
and suddenly find you're wanting more
so take me away
'cause I don't wanna be found
I should learn to speak up
When enough is enough
ohh
and I'm wanting out
and I'm wanting out
so take me away
'cause I don't wanna be found
I should learn to speak up
When enough is enough
ohh
and I'm wanting out
ohh
and I'm wanting out
and I'm wanting out
and I'm wanting out
and I'm wanting out

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Understand Me

Oh baby,that day you came to me
As everything i'd dreamed you'd be
And more
But you broke my heart
By not even trying to
Understand me
You can't understand me
Instead you acted like a bitch
And blamed it all on me
As if it was all my fault
You've made my eyes bleed
You've made my heart shatter
Deep inside of me
For all this it doesnt even matter anymore
People think im insane
Some think im just weird
Just because the old me disappeared
Im in a mental prison
I won't let me out
Ive been broken into a million pieces
So just get away from me
Im sorry for calling you names
But you cant deny
How you acted towards me
I've lost everything
You dont know how this feels
All the expectations
That i cant live upto
Even if i wanted to
Its everything i dispise in this world
Put together to make my life
How is that for ya
Tonight
It all has to end tonight
No more feeling down
Im not fooling around
Tonight
It all has to end tonight

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Do We Accept

Why are there people struggling to live
Why are there people wanting to give
Why are there people feeling such pain
Why are there people with nothing to gain
Why are there people full of greed
Why are there people desperate to succeed
Why are there people with hatred for all
Why are there people not wanting to fall
Why are there people dying each day
Do we accept that this is okay

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Remember Me

I stand here face to face
With someone that I used to know
He used to look at me and laugh
But now he claims
That hes known me for so very long
But I remember being no one
I wanted to be just like you
So perfect, so untouchable
Now you want me to be with you
Someone who used to have it all
Do you remember now
You acted like you never noticed me
Forget it
Cause the gone has come around
And youre not allowed to be a part of me
Did you know me?
Or were you too preoccupied
With playing king in your small kingdom
And now the real world
Has stripped you of your royalty
And from your kingdom youre evicted
I wanted to be just like you
So perfect, so untouchable
Now you want me to be with you
Someone who used to have it all
Do you remember now
You acted like you never noticed me
Forget it
Cause the gone has come around
Youre not allowed to be a part of me
Part of me
Part of me
Part of me
Youre never going to be a part of me
Youre never going to be a part of me
Youre never going to be a part of me
Youre never going to be a part of me
Youre never going to be a part of me
Youre never going to be a part of me
Do you remember now
You acted like you never noticed me
Forget it
Cause the gone has come around
Youre not allowed to be a part of me
Part of me
Part of me
Part of me

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Unified By Their Nonsense Making

When people become offended,
By someone expressing an identity...
There is an acceptance of an unconsciousness,
That has become collectively defended,
By overwhelming ignorance.

And no one has to go to a mall,
To shop for the proof of the evidence.

A blindness is preferred by those following,
As if addicted sheep...
Down a road where the process of thinking,
Independently or not...
Is regarded as a threat to those easily upset,
By those they overhear communicating...
With a maturity expressed.
And not a sign of an argument building up,
Between them addressed with...
The spewing of cuss words heard.

This is a dangerous environment,
For anyone with intelligence to live in!
People with intelligence are suspicious,
Of making attempts to be 'better'...
Than everyone else.
Especially those,
Who prefer to live their lives...
Down to Earth and as foolishly as possible.

When people become offended,
By someone expressing an identity...
As a choice of one attempting to think,
With common sense...
Is not a recommendation,
For anyone choosing to separate themselves...
With a maturity,
From this kind of accepted behavior...
Chosen by those unified by their nonsense making,
And faithfully tied to rituals...
They neither understand nor respect with depth.

'If it was good enough for my mama and her mama...
And those 'mamas' known before that,
Well...
It is good enough for me!
And I will take that with two hamhocks,
Yams dripping with butter and gravy smothered chops.'

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Peers Will Jeer

Those who aspire to achieve heights of mediocrity
Are not to be blamed for these aims they select.
If this is their best they believe they should reflect...
They offer much less,
Than just crowded fast food places to leave
As their legacy!

They leave people like me aging,
Wondering why wanting to achieve our best...
Had been a waste of time their peers will jeer
As obscene gestures from a time
People actually made attempts to use their minds,
For thinking!
And 'worked' with a desire for a quality of life teased...
But nonexistng?
How 'purposterous' can that be?

'It is 'preposterous'...
How absurd were they 'then' in those olden days?
Why on Earth did they struggle like that? '

Exactly!
My exact 'centiments'!
'It's 'sentiments'! '
So you 'feel' me?
You can dig my chatter?

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I Wanted Everything

I heard about the Easter bunny
Presents under a Christmas tree
It was dreaming and fantasy
There was no Mom or Daddy
I wanted everything
I wanted everything
I wanted everything
I had the world on my shoulder
But I was getting older
Knew I was ready for it
Some kind of employment
I wanted everything
I wanted everything
I wanted everything
All day working on a truck
Bringing the groceries up
Not much of a salary
No tip for the delivery
I wanted everything
I wanted everything
I wanted everything
There's no success for me
Involved in a robbery
There's money in the supermarket
And I'm goin' after it
I wanted everything.

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Choices From Which To Choose

Choices from which to choose,
Does not end one's sense of need.
Or wishes to take a choice that's made,
To satisfy a dream...
Forever.

Choices from which to choose,
Does not end one's sense of need.
Or wishes to take a choice that's made,
To satisfy a dream to...
Never know a chasing of a wanting means.

Or to...
Dismiss a wish.

Choices from which to choose,
Does not end one's sense of need.
Or wishes to take a choice that's made,
To satisfy a dream.
And to...
Never know a chasing of a wanting means.

To admit to ever...
Having something wanted that is dreamed.

Choices from which to choose,
And...
Never know a chasing of a wanting means.

Choices from which to choose,
And...
Never know a wish that came from dreams.

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Not Going To Be Mistaken As Chopped Liver

This is something,
People find very difficult to understand...
When opportunities are given,
Upfront and personal!
They do not return.
Or come back with attempts to influence.
The mission is to 'give'.
Not to convince.

In fact,
If slighted...
One will never know,
How they are connected...
Those misunderstood opportunities.

Especially,
After they have been evaluated...
As not being beneficial to anyone.

'Excuse me?
Who do I think I am?
Uh...a local resident of this place.
Why? '

Does this need further clarification?

And that can be applied to people as well.
Perceiving someone not to be qualified,
To achieve a task OR deliver to another...
A 'key' to their achievement.
Because of some pre-conceived notion...
One will only pay attention to someone,
Who 'looks' and 'acts' a certain way.

You know...
Someone seen on TV?
And 'not' a neighbor,
Busted for selling crack.

Some people will talk about that,
For the rest of their lives.

Or they may 'live' in a certain environment...
Where nothing but mediocrity is praised.
And everyone in it is dismissable?

'I don't know why they are 'here'.
And not in LA.
Or New York City.
Especially doing what they do!
What a waste.
I'm going to move to Atlanta...
Where I've heard the opportunities really are.'

This outlook,
Can be extremely detrimental.
ESPECIALLY...
If someone deemed useless,
Has chosen a familiar environment...
To exist and develop their own sense of happiness.
You know...
Do 'their' thing AND excell.

People just may have a gold mine,
Right under their turned up noses.
And gold,
Ultimately...
Is not going to be mistaken,
As chopped liver.
Wherever one decides to reside.
Even in a place where the main activity,
Happens to be self loathing.

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Not Trying To Express Themselves To Others To Impress

Making attempts to reveal evidence that makes sense,
To someone convinced...
Those 'perceived' to live on the other side of a fence,
Are less than mentally skilled...
And easily dispensed by one's 'will'
Can be difficult to achieve...
When confronted by 'these' types of people.

Especially,
If those needing the exchange of information,
Have issues with their own incompetence being exposed.
And have a mindset that is conditioned to believe,
That those who clearly articulate as if highly educated...
Are not trying to express themselves to others to impress.
But wish to address the importance of current issues.

And one unexpecting such decisiveness directed,
Becomes appalled...
When someone of intelligence,
Identifies and shatters their pretentions...
Unintentionally.
And wanting with an accountability,
To correct defective matters.

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I don't know that I ever wanted greatness, on its own. It seems rather like wanting to be an engineer, rather than wanting to design something--or wanting to be a writer, rather than wanting to write. It should be a by-product, not a thing in itself. Otherwise, it's just an ego trip.

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Teen Remembrances(one I did 4 a class)

Teen remembrances are a drag
When you're living within too many masks
Covering up what everyone wants you to cover up

You always remember living
Three different lives
Three different people living inside
You just wanting to be one

With such low expectations
One has to set high goals in life
To know ones self by
No one understands that I just want to cry sometimes
Tears do fall from these eyes
I just hide them away in the hole
That I slowly drowned in without laughing from day to day

The smile that I put on my face every day
Fools everyone I meet and the ones that I don’t
It even fools me from time to time
Thinking I really might be happy but I’m not
I’m not happy here and that is why I have to leave
To run and hide within my many masks

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Shallow Girl

I saw you in the marketplace
You cast a downward eye
Pretending to buy produce
And not notice I'd walked by
I wanted to say something
As you studied Bartlett pears
Cause in my mind I knew you knew
That I was shopping there
How difficult would it have been
To smile and say hello?
Not lingering to say too much
So grass would therefore grow
Under our feet except that we
The niceties had met
Required in society
A simple, easy debt
But all along you acted like
Most people always do
Like you had never seen me
Superficial and untrue


Written by Sara Fielder © 2012

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It's Kind of Funny

It's kind of funny how those who want life get it taken away,
while those who loathe it wander around.
Almost as if a waste.

It's kind of funny how those who try to do right get it spit back in their face.
The bad walk among us as if to be common people.
They, they get your respect.

It's kind of funny the people you love, they're usually the fall of you.
They say they're there for you but always somehow make you feel worthless.

It's kind of funny how everything can end so fast.
Everything can just disappear.

It's kind of funny how I wish I never met you.
I wish I could tell you.
I wish we could be.
And I wish that everything wasn't so funny and that everything could be what it is.

It's kind of funny how me and you,
we don't matter.

What I say and do will always be funny to you.

It's no longer funny.

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The Obviousness Of The Evidence Shown

Throughout my life...
And others who could attest to my sentiments.
I have had others who believed they knew me.
To say that I wasn't 'that' enough for 'their' liking.
Can you imagine?
As if I was born to prove to them...
My life and efforts were on a rating scale.
To please their whims and noninvolvements.

Or that I wasn't a 'real' this to claim that,
But to be just what they said I 'was' or wasn't.
To demean any attempts I made in anything...
I 'wanted' to do to get done.
And the color of my skin,
Had a lot to do with that too.
Oh...
I got it from both sides of the fence.
With some painful comments,
Forever to be remembered.

Or I thought I was better than others.
I like that one!
Because I spoke to have others understand,
What it was I was saying.
I spoke too clearly.
LOL...
Seriously.
I have actually had people tell me that.
I wish I was joking but I am not.
I was told I spoke as if I was a caucasian.
As if I wanted to be!
A black boy living in a black neighborhood.
With black friends and surrounded by blackness.

Or...
Check this out!
If I really wanted to do what I wanted to do,
I'd move and go somewhere else.
Because 'they' weren't going to allow me,
To do what I wanted to do in the place I was born.
Uh...
Excuse?
Are you looking for an exit sign?
Because I am not.

Well...
Thank God I didn't allow their comments,
To ruin my ambitions.
Like others they have done with a doing,
Who bought into that kind of evilness...
To achieve exactly what the obviousness,
Of the evidence shown as proof of 'their' doings.
Not mine!
My wishes and dreams are not to be limited!
Period.
With an exclamation!

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