I Have This Philosophy
As a child I had threatened to run away.
In fact...
It was either the fourth or the fifth time,
When I made that anoouncement...
To come to realize,
No one was paying me any attention at all.
And on one of those occasions,
My mother told me to take out the garbage...
Before I went anywhere!
She really didn't understand the severity of the moment.
I was all of ten years old and extremely serious.
I was trying to make this point...
I was going to be missed!
My niece, Shayla, did the same thing.
But she came back home to say to her parents,
She had a need for her checkbook and had forgotten it.
Like me...
She has excellent penmanhip.
AND she doesn't play.
Or has time for nonsense.
She's all business and serious.
'Go Shayla.
I'm so glad you discovered adulthood! '
We both had lots to learn about life.
Especially the part of life that one learns...
DO NOT BITE THE HAND THAT FEEDS,
Anythng connected to your survival.
Including those who give lucrative allowances...
To afford our checkbooks...to forget!
I love my niece.
As young people,
We begin to test those independent waters...
Early.
Many of us were forced to.
But as we grow...
Those 'come-and-find-me' games,
Are a bit childish, tired and very old.
And when one plays them over fourty...
Something should connect in their minds,
They play these games alone.
I have this philosophy about life...
If you can not teach a grown cat hygiene,
And if an adult runs into hiding...
In fear of reprisals for something wrong they've done.
Only to seek, ultimately, a pat on the back.
To be stroked like a missing cat when they return....
That person is in need more than 'a' lesson to learn.
That litter box needs to be put outside of the house for good.
'What does that mean? '
I did not say it was a 'good' philosophy...
To be quickly understood.
Some philosophies have to sit and marinate,
Longer than some.
I said I 'have' this philosophy about life.
You figure it out!
It has to be lived to enable it to make sense.
And stop looking at me like that!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
No Childhood
Grew up too fast
Childhood didn't last
Defiled at the age of 3
Changing my life permanently
Mom wasn't there
Life wasn't fair
Never met my dad
Neglect was all I had
Grew up too fast
Childhood didn't last
16 and pregnant
didn't know what that meant
responsibility aquired
overworked and over tired
child number 2 on the way
just another month - just another day
married and divorced by 23
struggling to find the inner me
trying to identify what love was
yearning to know if I was enough
Searching for my worth in man after man
floating through life waiting to land
3 years later - baby number 3
responsibility was all on me
as life moves on and the clock keeps turnin
days gone by and i'm still yearning
for the childhood i never had
for the chance to meet my dad
into my life walks my superman
claimin if anyone can save me - he can
he sweeps me off my feet
making me complete
i take his last name
and life isn't the same
i thank God for the opportunity
he's given by sending you to me
and as i start to open up and realize
stop hiding and open my eyes
i missed out on my childhood
and though i did the best i could
to be the mom i never had
give my kids my missing dad
and stil i feel inadequately
as i search deeper within me
to find out who i'm supposed to be
sometimes i feel like i have nowhere to give from
the places that were supposed to till me were never done
and so i grasp for an idea of hwo to be
the mom that wasn't modeled for me
I can't play, I can't pretend
scars of the past continuing to mend
i imagine and play how i think a mom should be
but more often than not it doesn't come naturally
nuturing was replaced by survival
when just trying to make it was all
i had the energy to do
and as i'm writing you
i realize that i missed out on my childhood
and i wonder if it's understood
I'm not the parent i want to be
but i'm the best parent that's within me
still making mistakes
but doing what it takes
to be a better mom than i knew
and as i'm writing you
i realize that i missed out on my childhood
poem by Miss Thang
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The philosophy to live
The life is
respect and dignity
My philosophy of
life is to
live with dreams
Is satisfying to
think at the
philosophy to live
The philosophy to
live is sacred
and genuine
Is essential that
the philosophy to
live is a
conscious and satisfying
act of our
personal existence
The philosophy to
live must be
defended from excessive
attacks
The philosophy to
live will be
a peaceful and
motivated revolution
The life is
a great and
magnificent work
The life must
be lived slowly
because only thus
can be authentic
The life is
not appearance
The life travels
in the present
The life is
an alternation of
emotions and sensations
There shouldn't be
obsessions in life
because it's an
unrepeatable and extravagant
thing
poem by Laura arwen
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The Girl I'm Starting To See
what do you see?
when you look at me?
i'll tell you what i see,
a girl who has accepted who she is,
a girl who just realize that giving up life,
is not going to change a D@mn thing,
no matter how much you want it,
to change everything,
it just made me realize more,
that life has more to offer than meet the eye,
would you agree?
you just can't give up when life gets hard,
if that the case,
we all won't have a chance to become something,
to live out our dreams,
we have people who remind us,
how special we are,
but, we let negative thoughts cloud out judgement,
when we need to push through,
and see all that we can be,
cause i no longer want to be,
somebody who given up,
just because life gotten hard,
i want to be that role model and leader,
i always knew i can be,
cause in the end,
that's the girl i do see,
a girl who want to change for the good,
the place she at now,
is nowhere near where she wants to be,
she tired of playing games, ,
tired of trying to get people to understand her,
cuz the only person it should of mattered to..is me,
along the way,
i forgot who was important,
i forgot who i was and who i wanted to be,
but, that's okay,
along the way,
we all have to make mistakes to learn,
otherwise, we won't know,
who we really are,
cause this is the girl i'm starting to see.
6-11-09
poem by Mona Martinez
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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My true story about myself
People stop ordering me around. I am only one person, yet you treat me like I am twelve people. I can only do one thing at a time. I am sorry I am really slow. I am only a child, I'm still trying to be kid while I have a chance. But, you see you people give me the responsibility of an adult. I am tired of ruining my plans, to do adult things. I don't want a perfect childhood but I would like a nice one where I would be able to do teenager things. I want to be a normal child, even if I am not. You people are driving me crazy with all these do this, do that. I'm sorry, but if this a normal childhood, I rather be dead. I feel like that when I try to talk nobody could hear me. I could scream and nody would hear me. I am invisable. Besides who would want to see a girl who has no mother, a father she never sees, who is a nobody, who can't make a difference, who is hideous, who can't do anything right, who is ashamed for everything she is? Sometimes I think about killing myself, actually I do it a lot. It's just I am so tired of being used. I am used one way or the other. I always wonder what would happen if I die. Would anybody care? Would anybody even notice? NO! Yes I know I made mistakes. but isn't the point of life, is make mistakes and learn from them. I know I made a lot, but I would never take any of them back. I don't care anymore about what other people say. I am just so tired of this. I can't live like this much longer. There has to be a change, and quick. To tell you the truth, I even thought about running away. I don't know where I would go. I do know is that I would never return. I'm sick of having responsibility of an adult, and everybody tells me to be a kid. HOW? When I'm constantly cleaning, cooking, cleaning, cooking, school, school, homework, cleaning, cooking? Can I please have a break once in a while. I am begging you. What did I do to deserve this? I think I have a right to know.
poem by Makayla Straight
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Tired Of Not Being Me
Tired of being compared to everyone else
Tired of never being good enough
So sick of being hated for something I am and loved for what I’m not
I’m sick of coming last
So now I’m putting myself 1st
I’m not going to waste a single second of my life trying to please anyone else
Why bother wasting my time on them when
I have to face my own fears and fight my own battles
I can’t do everything for everyone
I can’t make everyone happy even though I try or used to try
Because now my life is about me
Yes it may sound self centered
But when you think about it I have lived my life trying to please everyone else
I’m sick of playing games
Sick of pretending to be something I’m not
I’m sick of hiding behind this mask
So I give up now
Its time to take a stand
Time to be my own person
Take my own hand
No longer trying to please anyone but me
poem by Rebekka Bear
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The Game of Life
Life is a game at which we play.
We make our moves on every day.
Some are right and some are wrong.
We usually look back as we move along.
But looking back doesn't change how we've played
unless you learn from mistakes you've made.
Few are winners and too many lose.
For the games's unfair and when you choose
a move that's not right you later regret
what you did. For you don't forget.
But since life's only a game we play
when the game is finished we finally say
'I should have done this or should have done that'
We fail to recognize that where we're at
is exactly where we should be.
poem by Edwina Reizer
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Let Me Get To The Point
Let me get to the point,
And not be a twit about this!
Someone,
I don't know who it was...
Or when it happened.
But...
Someone came into my home,
And rifled through my sox...
To mix them up on purpose.
That's the only explanation there is,
As to 'why' I can not seem to find...
A matching pair.
I would blame my nephew,
Landry.
But he already thinks,
I am not mentally stable.
And...
He 'thinks' he knows EVERYTHING.
About ANYTHING.
Well...
I would say that runs through the family.
But he does play the role of Sherlock.
A lot.
He has not said this to me directly,
However...
He has given me a certain 'look'.
Whenever he believes I've been out of touch.
I would accuse my niece, Shayla.
But she would go on and on,
About me being forgetful.
Therefore,
It just has to be someone else.
But 'who',
Would do such a thing?
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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You'll Repeat Those Same Old Mistakes
Memories can be precious while others are rued,
Some can play games with your mind,
Many can even be misconstrued,
While others can and do make you blind.
Recollections are what teach us all we know,
They are part of our reason for living,
What we learn from them dictates how we grow,
Though some can be so unforgiving.
Bad ones we tend to want to forget,
Good ones we all want to last,
Whether it's with fondness or deep regret,
They're an integral part of our past.
The secret of memories is they come from within,
Why so when they're made from without,
Separating good from bad, where do you begin,
Though it's a must to get rid of self-doubt.
You can't discard memories by throwing them away,
Although for some it'd be great if we could,
Throughout our life reminiscences hold sway,
If only they could all be good.
They predetermine what our future will hold,
By separating right from wrong,
Our interpratation determines how our lives unfold,
By teaching us where we belong.
The very nature of memories can irk and annoy,
Dealing with them is what you must learn,
You must deal with what hurts and the good then enjoy,
Don't let the bad ones cause you concern.
If from hurtful memories you try to hide,
Then the devil inside you awakes,
By trying your damnedest to cast them aside,
'' You'll Repeat Those Same Old Mistakes ''
Secret of Life
You & me, we all have our own destination,
Everything is up to our life experiences and conception.
We shouldn't blame parents, genes or the other guy on the road,
Whatever happens to us, we attracted our own load.
Consciously or not, it is not the question,
Everything is a lesson to teach us for our direction.
If we want to have perfect health, good life and true happiness,
We have to understand nature's law to do only kindness.
First we have to learn to think accordingly,
Trust the power within to guide where we have to be.
Then, have courage to call everything 'good', no matter what it is,
This way the lesson will be clear, & in time we'll understand the prognosis.
If we oppose, it will be forced on us heavily,
If we go along without a grudge, it soon disappears completely.
In the meantime we must learn a lot about everything,
That we wouldn't be fooled with worldly messages or do not nothing.
We were made of body & spirit, we are two sided,
Meditation & prayer should go hand in hand, doing everything wholehearted
Perfect health doesn't come from eating every delicious thing,
Nor resting too much, have a boring life, or even live like a king.
Perfect health comes from a healthy mind,
Eat the best nutrition, move enough & do not stay in stress or bind.
With perfect faith in only goodness, that you'll always have enough,
Live simple, do not be a prodigal child & your life will not be tough.
If you loose the ego, which can make you a martyr,
Or became a dictator to try to force others for your will,
Giving true thanks for everything & every person in your life,
True happiness will never leave you, you'll never be in strife.
Life or malediction is up to your decision,
Complete faith in goodness or just the opposition.
Ask & you shall receive, but do not pray in vain,
Believe after the first request, that what ever comes
Will be the best solution in ordain.
poem by LaSoaphia QuXazs
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A Life Philosophy
a life philosophy
not a philosophy on life
a living philosophy
clear concise defined
articulated in civil rights liberty
clemency morality humanitarian symmetry
it is not important to memorize words
words thoughts searched out through years decades
words become life beat peace harmonies
not a manifesto
not written out
not important to memorize
to write out
to be distorted
to be used to manipulate minds
a manifesto not
written out not
important to memorize not
no a great life philosophy
is lived in simplicity acts of humility
freedom gifted to all humanity
love in life
love for all life one life
love sacred fertile compassion love life
poem by Terence George Craddock
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To My Sons, Eddie & Edwin
You're my cute little son,
But you're always stubborn,
Fast to get anger and upset
Very small hearted person.
Why you so like that
Give me the reasons
Why? , why? , why?
Why you so disobedient person?
You all are clever
But lazy and hard headed
Sometimes, you are good
But you're very naughty boy.
Always Be a good boy
My boy, my boy,
Listen to elderly always,
Respect your parents.
Please study hard
Study smarter
Future in your hands
No one can change you
Unless yourself.
Don't play only
Remember to study things
You love and likes
Learn as much as you can.
Time is short,
Time never return,
Study when you're young
Study when you're grow up too.
Stop playing games,
Start your lessons on time
Stop fooling around,
Stop arguing with parents.
My sons, Eddie and Edwin
Always I love you all
No matter Where,
No matter When,
No matter How.
You're always my sons.
poem by Lawrence Hiung
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Didn't Expect It
I never thought you will move back to California forever because of me I make you leave here
I’m feel so horrible and I
Didn’t expect it
Once I found out it hurts so much
It opens my eyes
Now you are gone
I didn’t make right choices and
Break you into million pieces
Things will never be same
I’m so sorry
I feel like I know you forever
We were so close in school in 10th grade
How I can get over you
You were different and what I’m looking for
I can be me around you and have fun with you, but
Things change in 11th grade
I can’t smile, laugh, and have fun like I use to around you
I regret for not dating you
You know how I feel about you
I never give us a chance
What have I done?
I didn’t see how you were good for me
Letting you down, I feel so bad
Most of poems I write are about you
That’s all I think to write about is you
I’m out of words to write because of you
On the hand
You told me that you never want to go out with me
It don’t seems like you mean it, I bet you did
You wish we were dating by the way I’m with other guys and
Not with you flirting, smiling and having good time
Memories of us have fun, laugh, hurt by each other,
Joy and time we had spent in class in 10th grade
I never going forget it after all and
It impossible to do that
I miss you too much I know I have to let you go, but
It hurts too much and to be with other guys
It’s not same like when I with you and
I can’t love them like I did with you
All I think about is you
There something I need to figure out
Why I can’t let you go yet?
What I like about you that was special?
I don't know yet
I'm so clueless
I bet you had move on and dating someone else
It’s not my business
I need to move on too
You gone forever and
You thought you knew me but you don't, I do
I’m not going let you hold me back
I make you wait too long
I thought second chance
I will I get you but I didn’t
I lie and you hate people lying to you
You did too and you put people in your games
I did or say things make you change your feelings about me
I was so confused and hopeless
It all happen so fast and so much going on
I feel so bad
My life getting worster in school
I can’t blame you and I
Didn’t expect it
When you hurt me back and get revenge
You are one to blame on and me too
This end in tragedy and so many damages happen
This is life
We are one to be blame
We like to get attention that’s
What all our friends say I bet
We turn out to be jerk especially you
I will never spread rumors about you like the way you did to me
I feel so hurt and sad that you did that
This side I never saw before
You do anything to hurt me back so badly
My heart is shatter
I thought you were different
Everything reminds me of you
My friends were right about you
I need to take their advices
They getting tired of this and mad
They hate when I changes
They want me stop living like this
You never care about me
Wow, I’m shock right now
I feel so dumb for loving you this long and so much
I’m just speechless right now and I need to live my life
Having fun every day and night
Life is short like I say
Didn’t expect it
To know it now is better
I can move on for good
I’m stupid to wait around longer
Their never going be us or chances going happen
Is all over now and
You live in west of United Stated
I need to trust people and stop lying
Didn’t expect it
poem by Christina Phan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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When She Played It Was On Her Piano
As a kid I had ambitions.
And the first of them was to do my chores,
Before my mother would come home from work.
And she would pack them on too!
'I told you to sweep this floor.'
I did!
'With what?
A sandwich?
Do it again.'
My sister, Mimmie, would look at me.
And smile!
I couldn't wait,
To give her the spray can...
To kill the roaches!
I didn't know we weren't suppose to have them,
Until I was eight years old!
And that's not a joke.
One day when my mother went to work,
I made sure Mimmie got introduced.
She's a grandmother now.
And every once in a while...
She will mention how mean I was to her.
Nobody is going to sit,
And enjoy me getting whipped!
And that has been my philosophy...
Learned very early in my life.
Those days are long gone.
And being assigned to responsibilites,
I believe every child needs.
However...
Too many parents have raised lazy and spoiled children.
Believing one day,
They will awaken and be accountable for their actions!
Today as I reflect on my childhood,
I am glad my mother did not allow me to go to sleep...
To chance an awakening to what I knew I should do.
What I had and was going to do got done,
Before I had an opportunity to give it thought.
Procrastination,
Was not a lesson my mother taught.
I've seen parents,
Do everything possible for their children.
To wonder at a later date in time,
Why their children disrespect them.
Even 'if' I looked as if I wanted to say something back,
My mother would put a 'switch' to my behind.
AND...
I would have to fine one she liked to use on me.
That was before the calling of 911.
Today...
They would call that child abuse.
When I grew up...
We got our 'butts' tore up.
Just for looking as 'if'...
We did not enjoy getting whippings!
And I aint hardly kidding.
How does that 'old' saying go?
~Spare the rod and spoil the child.~
Well...
Mimmie and I were very spoiled.
But...
A rocking of a boat,
Did not float at all...
With Ms Edna!
When she played,
It was on her piano!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Ms Shay
Thirty-one years old...
Wow how time has passed.
With looks of a teen-ager!
'Now Shayla...
You and I know that ain't gon' last! '
But you have a timeless beauty,
And what's greater is your heart that's pure.
You have Kamara and Kevin...
Two wonderful children you raise.
They reflect your terrificness,
And you deserve the praise.
I wont mention your cooking...
Because someone else might be reading this,
And looking!
But I will say this...
I've heard you cook a mean pot of grits!
You know Uncle Larry likes to tease...
Especially you, my beautiful niece!
And when all is said and done...
I want the world to know,
How magnificent you have become!
I am so proud of you, 'Ms Shay'
And I am wishing you a glorious,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Dedicated to My Niece:
Ms Shayla Louise Dixon
On her birthday
August 21st 2007
'Love you, My precious one! '
Uncle Larry
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Nobody Going Tell Me
Nobody going tell me
What to do or say
I'm strong and indepence person
I can turn whatever I want up as loud I want to
Nobody going tell me
Who I'm because that's up to me to decide
This is me
You have to learn to accept it
I'm just a teenager
I just want to have a great time and not stress out
If I want to go to party or football games I'm going to go
This is great things I'm going to miss out on
If I don't go
You need to trust me
I be safe and I'm enough to know what is
Difference between right and wrong
Nobody going tell me
It's my decision and future
To do what I want in life
If I need help I will come to you
I will listen to you and do what you want me not to do
Only if there good reason and important
I will make the best choice
If I don't I will learn from my mistakes and
Just don't be over protective of me
Nobody going tell me
What I can't or can eat
I'm adult now
It's my health and body
So don't worry too much
I'm responibility peson
I'm not person who make you mad or not believe in me anymore
You taught everything I need to know
Now I have to leave and start my life
Thank you for all you do for me
Nobody going tell me
poem by Christina Phan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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My Life
My life
Can be challenged and diffcult
We all that bad and good days
I can’t give up on myself because
It’s not going good or my way
I shouldn’t let anyone make my choices
I’m not going to listen to them
All of is nonsense and they're waste of time to me
It my decision that going happen in
My life
There is no time to lose
Life is too short to do that
You don’t realized it until something tragedy happen
I’m sick and tired of sitting at home and doing nothing all day
Staring at clock won’t make it go by fast
Time to go out there and achieve my dreams
That what I’m here for
As well have fun like partying
Wohooo come on this
My life
I’m going live this way
I will chill and enjoy the summer
I want to try new adventures and new things
I want to see what I’m good and not good at
I have no time to waste
I want to travel and see whole world
Anything is possible is you just believe it
Hey who can’t blame me
This is
My life
Not your
So live it to fullest and what’s going to happen is up to me
I’m 18 years old
It’s laid in my hand
There is going to be time when I’m down,
Other time I be all happy and good mood
There is nothing going stop me and going bring me down because they are jerk
Nothing to worry about them, but me
I have no regrets, now I finally forget the pasts and memories of you for good
I feel so good again
Summer has changes me and
My life
If you need me I’m not here right now
I’m out having good time
Seven days a week
I’m going live this way and is
My life
Times where I’m going to lose and win
Is ok I’m fine with it
I go with flow
Is rocking right now and good life I have now
My life
poem by Christina Phan
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Back To Avalon
A vision,
A flash of light
A gift we were given
Within each others dreams
We lived in the gardens of Avalon
Together
Believed that we could live there forever
Then it faded away
Forgetting we wondered to far from the land we'd known
Chorus:
Of all the lonely people
You're among the lucky few
If it comes even once in a life
Love is a lesson hard to learn
It's never as easy to return
But if you're willing to go on
you'll find the way back to Avalon... (Avalon)
They had it
It wasn't far away or imagined
He held her in his arms
And we planned it all
The towers of Avalon
They warned him
He only turned around for a moment
And everything had changed
He noticed the sun on her face as she looked away
Chorus:
All the lonely people
You're among the lucky few
If it comes even once in a life
And love is a lesson hard to learn
It's never as easy to return
But if you're willing to go on
You'll find a way back to Avalon
Bridge:
And when you come know the miracle it's mystical
and someone else's heart is in your hands
I learned to late now I must try and find a way back home
Chorus:
Here is a lesson hard to learn
It's never as easy to return
But if you're willing to go on
You'll find a way back to Avalon... (Avalon)
We've gotta go back
Someday we'll get back
(Avalon)
We gotta get it back
(Avalon)
We gotta get it back
(Avalon)
Somebody tell me a way
Somebody tell me a way
(Avalon)
Ohhhhhh.... Avalon
We've got to go back
song performed by by Kenny Loggins
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My Life Is Good
A couple of week ago
My wife and i
Took a little trip down to
Mexico
Met this young girl there
We brought her back with us
Now she lives with us
In our home
She cleans the hallway
She cleans the stair
She cleans the livingroom
She wipes the babys ass
She drives the kids to school
She does the laundry too
She wrote this song for me
Listen
Yeah
The other afternoon
My wife and i
Took a little ride into
Beverly hills
Went to the private school
Our oldest child attends
Many famous people send their children there
This teacher says to us
We have a problem here
This child just will not do
A thing I tell him to
And hes such a big old thing
He hurts the other children
All the games they play, he plays so rough
Hold it teacher
Wait a minute
Maybe my hears are clogged or somethin
Maybe Im not understanding
The english language
Dear, you dont seem to realize
My life is good
My life is good
My life is good, you old bag
My life, my life
Just this evening
Some young associates of ours
Are flying to see us from
New york city
Theyre gonna stay with us
Oh, a couple of weeks or so
Im gonna take em to
Restaurants and everything
Gonna getem some
Real good cocaine
They dont get much
Where they come from
And this ones guy wife
Is such a pretty little brown thing
That Im liable to give her a poke or two
Whaddaya think of that?
Teacher, let me tell you a little story
Just this morning
My wife and i
Went to this hotel in the hills
Thats right
The bel-air hotel
Where a very good friend of ours
Happens to be staying
And the name of this young man
Is mr bruce springsteen
Thats right, yeah
Oh, we talked about some kind of
Woodblock or something
And this new guitar we like
And you know what he said to me
Ill tell you what he said to me
He said, rand, Im tired
How would you like to be the boss for awhile?
Well, yeah
Blow, big man, blow
My life is good
My life is good
My life is good
My life, my life is good
song performed by by Randy Newman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Livin' In A World
Children are called the future of an adult world
They are born with spirits so innocent
Til we teach them how to hate
Add to the world's confusion
We teach our kids rules
That we don't adhere to ourselves
Right or wrong
What example can they take
The people we learn from
Forge the ideas we become
Living in a world they didn't make
Living in a world that's filled with hate
Living in a world where grown-ups break the rules
Living in a world they didn't make
Paying for a lot of adult mistakes
How much of this madness can they take
Our children
Children grow to become our young adults
Problems of the world
They must learn how to confront
Doing drugs and joining gangs to rebel
Colors show they belong
To the social override
Cause they're living in a space
They feel out of place
Living in a world they didn't make
Living in a world that's filled with hate
Living in a world where grown-ups break the rules
Living in a world they didn't make
Paying for a lot of adult mistakes
How much of this madness can they take
Our children
song performed by by Janet Jackson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Technophobia
What has technology done for me?
Well, for one—
It's made me unnecessarily happy,
But I'm very grateful for it.
I mean, my whole life has followed me on the computer,
Transposed to a screen—
The human condition to me, my experience,
Resides more inside a TV than the world
Outside
My window.
When I was a little kid,
I never played any sports and I never had any interest in them
Until I played Madden 2007
With a few of my friends.
I was already an adult at this point,
But, for a moment,
I returned to that feeling,
That kind of feeling that makes me nostalgic now,
And I enjoyed myself,
Learning something new for the first time.
I think it had such an impact on me because
I didn't go outside much when I was younger.
I probably had a vitamin D deficiency.
But what could I do?
After I was twelve or something,
All the kids were playing Pokemon,
Trading the cards under the table
Sort of like the way that pizza place
I once worked for
Traded illegal Mexican cooks
(no racial offense, of course—
Those were the good people
At the job) .
Like a junkie, I couldn't help, but engage in the same elicit activities.
I couldn't help being hooked, even after half my friends stopped
Caring about what holofoils they could collect at the comic book store.
Man, those kids never even played the game though.
I played.
I loved it.
I mean, I played the card game and the video game.
I was raised on video games, after all.
Super Mario was like a second father to me.
I beat SMB1 when I was three years old.
Three years old, I tell you.
Before kindergarten,
My biggest concern was
Pursuing the highest score
Available to my abilities—
Which quickly, quickly, quickly, quickly, quickly blasted past my parents,
As if I was an Excite Bike moving too steadily for the looping 8-bit images
To catch up—
In things such as Centipede
Or Tetris—
Or all the games that were in that rare,
Import Japanese Famicom cartridge
My family somehow acquired
(It had over 300 games
And an English convertor
And I played it
Every, every day) .
I didn't really go outside.
I didn't really spend a lot of time with other kids,
But it wasn't a problem.
I liked cartoons too.
I deified the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,
Made a shrine for them in my room—
It resembled a Hindu temple, in a way,
With all my personified
Animal figurines.
Similar to Zen Buddhists,
Who use a wide-array of terminology
(Something I'm now incorporating…
Words such as satori) ,
I picked up their lexicon,
And used words like cowabunga
On a regular basis.
Maybe that's why I didn't have many friends.
I still play video games.
I still watch cartoons.
Not on television though—
I have them set up as files in my computer.
Nowadays, I have friends, but I feel like half of them have
A similar functionality as the games.
I talk to them through the internet,
Interacting through the depression
Of buttons,
Interfacing through the clicks
On a keyboard
When I don't often see their face.
Sometimes I share my thoughts, so people
Can click on the blue-text link that says
‘Like' underneath it,
And, sometimes, I don't even respond to the comments
Because I was misinterpreted—
Sarcasm doesn't translate, I suppose,
Especially when I type acronyms like ‘YOLO; '
I hope people realize I only type it
Because others type it
And, because, so many others type it,
I find it as annoying
As the people that are complaining to me
Do… So why do they complain to me?
(I thought the stupid hipsters liked irony—
I know a lot of stupid hipsters…
You can tell a stupid hipster
Because a stupid hipster
Will label who they are
As a hipster…
And they try to wear clothes
That remind me of Where's Waldo,
Except, man,
These kids are too easy to find) .
The more exposed to people I am,
The more I complain about them,
And I'm always connected now,
So I guess it makes me feel more
Isolated.
I just wish sometimes
That we didn't have to plug our minds in
To get them to function,
That we didn't have Google
To type in the thoughts
We keep forgetting,
Recovering them for a moment or two
Before the white space of a screen
Washes over,
Wiping the trivia back to the bottom
Of a search engine's ocean
Of information.
I'm too obsessed with scatological observations,
Wondering what people think
So I can justify my own thoughts
And get to know people
I don't think I ever wanted to know.
Sometimes I want to be left alone
Or left in the mystery that used to shroud
The people I talked to.
I didn't know what they were thinking back then.
I didn't know and I was trying to figure it out.
Now that I DO know,
I'm not sure it's useful.
I mean,
I'm always going over all these useless facts,
And I'm curious if people realize
That nobody really cares what anybody else says,
That we're all fame-starved miscreants,
Thirsting for narcissism
Because it leads to hedonism,
And, man, all anybody wants nowadays
Is to blow their money and look cool doing it.
Technology shows me this,
But I'd rather it show me another Madden 2007,
So that I could appreciate the games people play
OR the games they watch—
My entire life I've appreciated games,
Even if they kept me away from socialization
(Perhaps a good thing)
And kept me indoors,
Though now I also appreciate
The sun.
What has technology done for me?
Well, for one—
It gave me a childhood.
Well, for two—
It gave me adulthood,
And an understanding I never wanted in the first place.
poem by Tim Stensloff
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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