I Am 'First' A Human Being
I had walked around for decades,
Feeling and shouldering emotional pain.
When I decided I had nothing to gain...
By accepting this as an invitation,
To prove I could endure...
With a strength to regard as bravery?
No one had to point out to me,
Just how crazy this was.
I am 'first' a human being!
And I no longer have to adapt to that fact.
To me that has been shown.
And to others I make that known!
I am 'first' a human being!
Any other layers some choose to address...
I have learned to let it be expressed.
But to cause me stress to stay to become effective?
No.
These days I do not live in those times.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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I Too Am Human
I too am human.
And exist with human needs.
At one time I believed,
Those needs I had...
Were in the pleasing of others.
And that was okay,
For those days long gone away.
But those days long gone away,
Today I do not address.
I too am human.
And when I awakened to realize,
Just how human I was...
I felt grateful and blessed,
To have been there for others.
But today...
My needs I want met.
I too am human.
And today that is what I address.
The giving, the taking with its heartbreaking,
Has been done with the best of my time invested.
I too am human.
And it has taken me a while to digest it.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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The poems can be
Poems can be..
How can poems be limited to certain length?
When certain things are to be conveyed with forceful strength
I agree with arguments for controlling its flow
But it may not be effective with events to grow
May be it is good with different perception
I am for little lengthy topics from inception
I may be wrong but old habits die very hard
I don’t shut the doors but always look forward
I love making all secrets known to friends
Sometimes my privacy may compromise and end
But it helps to come out of any setback or shock
The human sufferings have enough of such stocks
It may be possible to hold back some of the secrets
You can’t make it possible for others or let
It may form a priceless treasure in your mind
But certainly restrict you for others to guess or find
Human sentiments are hard to understand
It may make you cry in darkness without friends
How you address the agony and pain is not for others to see
As you may hide the face with hands and make heart very free
Such sentiments or deep love can be expressed with some reasons
Some explanation may go hard way with many persons
It is not writing of an episode that may require some logic
But spirit behind it to grasp or understand some basic
We have shrinked a lot and can’t go little any more
The human sentiments deserve to be heard therefore
If we limit the gravity or pain behind it
I am afraid that proper message may not be deemed fit
Heart can never remain empty
It has to enjoy or bleed with pity
The pulses are to be caught humanly
One must be strong enough to accept it bravely
poem by Hasmukh Amathalal
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Without Prior Notification
For quite a few.
And an unsuspecting many,
It is more important to sustain,
The maintenance of an image...
Than it is to welcome the times we live.
Straining with a drain on false presentations shown,
That gets less cost effective for those who do it.
With a keeping of a preference list.
And for the rest trying to digest what is going on,
To address the speed of changes...
With a leaving behind being defensive about anything,
Seems for them to be more pragmatic and meaningful...
In days where it pays to be observant,
To one's own problematic spending habits.
Increasing with each pinch of a useless penny.
Instead of attempting to make impressions.
Decisions, decisions, decisions!
Especially the ones that do not lessen,
Outstanding payments due on any bills.
For quite a few.
And an unsuspecting many,
It is more important to sustain,
The maintenance of an image...
Than it is to welcome the times we live.
And the times we live...
Will require focused attention given.
Since these days are subject to be ammended,
Without prior notification and at any moment.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Pain is Love
Pain is heartache,
Pain is an emotional heart break.
Pain is a roller coaster.
That is filled with twists, turns, and hills.
Pain is an emotional medication.
Best taken if it were a pill.
Pain is love.
Love is an emotional bond that holds me to you.
Pain is the love that forces me to seduce you.
Take you into my world, mold and console you.
Pain is the way you walked out of my life.
Love is the way i got over my hurt you left me to endure.
For this pain, a pill.
There was no cure.
poem by Ashley Roseanne Pleasure
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Afraid V.s. Knowing
i have two side,
but, don't we all?
one afraid to face challenge,
but, the other side know,
i'll will make it through,
even in the times,
life doesn't seem to matter,
i have a feeling i will be fine,
even when everything feels,
crazy and out of control,
a part of me still knows,
life gets hard,
but i have to fight through,
who else is going to do it for me?
i'm learning along the way,
that it's okay to be afraid,
of the things,
i can no longer control,
because in the end,
there's a reason,
for why things happen,
being afraid is an emotion,
i'm not use to,
it was the other part of myself,
i wasn't accepting,
but, now it's apart of me,
because it's who i am,
human like everybody else.
Copyright © 2009
11-17-09
poem by Mona Martinez
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More Appreciative Of Others
I learned at an early age,
After graduating from high school...
And standing in a uniform,
During those Viet Nam warring days.
There is quite a difference between,
Holding back emotions...
And becoming emotional with rage.
As a soldier I learned patience.
But unafraid dropp a tear.
Many people with issues,
Like to express them quick...
To make them clear!
And as time passes while I age,
I've learned to control 'some' things I say.
And so grateful I am to write with interest,
Those things most believe,
Comes from a weakness expressed.
Not many realize the strength it takes,
To admit one's faults and mistakes they've made.
And I appreciate those who have experienced this.
Since this shows,
What so many living miss!
I learned at an early age,
After graduating from high school...
And standing in a uniform,
During those Viet Nam warring days.
There is quite a difference between,
Holding back emotions...
And becoming emotional with rage.
It seems those who have lived,
To reflect upon their veteraned lives...
Are more appreciative of others.
And less opinionated like some,
Who feel they have rights,
To criticize and despise...
How people live and survive!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Please Do Not Take This Personally
I am impressed by your progress.
And 'controlled' ability to listen.
'That' I applaud.
We both have shown tremendous growth.
However,
I must bring this to your attention!
That you still refuse to regard my opinion,
Is a matter of your own survival.
I can only extend my best wishes.
But I will 'suggest' this...
Maybe vacating the entire building,
Before the wrecking ball swings.
And the building gets hit?
Leaving it,
Will decrease my 'suspicions'...
That you and your followers will suffer fatalities.
And maybe life long injuries that 'will' exist!
I'm not wishing this.
Perhaps it is an 'intuitive' perception.
Perhaps?
'How would you know this?
What experience do you have?
Why do you attempt to undermine my leadership?
And question my competence?
When 'that' stirs your jealousy.
And to see it is so sad!
When you can produce documented proof,
Perhaps 'then' your 'opinions...
Will be for us more significant.
Until then,
Things will be done as I see fit!
And I can see already,
You are envious of this!
Right now,
And please do not take this personally!
But right now,
I see you as an arrogant and egotistical opportunist!
Using that wrecking ball as a means to make a point,
You have yet to prove.'
You are right.
We do have communication problems.
However...
I do not foresee them as being in our way too much longer!
'I'm glad you have finally come to your senses.
You are not the only one,
With insight and observation.
And seeing it from our point of view,
There will be lessons learned for you.'
You have no idea!
And by the way...
No!
I don't.
I don't take these lessons to be learned,
As personal at all!
Not on these levels of such clarity.
In fact,
I am honored to have you teach them to me.
Lessons like these are life changing!
And once in a lifetime do they come.
Bon Voyage!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Human
You are not an evil person
But you hurt me a lot unconsciously
You are not someone who could kill with your bare hand
But your words keep breaking my soul
I try to find the light
So I could stand much longer
I try to remember the laugh
So I could hold back the tears
But I'm also just human
I'm not some kind of superhero
Can you feel the darkness that creeping in my heart?
Or are you just too ignorant
For some kind of human
You keep demanding some more
But what can you offer?
Because I'm the one you could use
Should I'm the one who sacrifice my freedom for your own?
I try to swallow the blame
But it choked in my throat
I try to gain the strength
But all smiles will be faking
And I'm just human
The one who could love but also could hate fiercely without any reason
Have you ever heard my crying fear?
Do you ever reach me to the deepest core?
Or are you just too blind
Like some kind of human
So in the end
What will you do to make me stay?
A command from your authority mind
Or a pitiful plea to my ears
So in the end
Who will gonna be win?
A raging desperate man
Or a wounded pride man
poem by Maria Sudibyo
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From Their Point Of View
There will always be those who choose to see life,
From their point of view.
And not necessarily from their own experiences.
As many feeling entitled excuse themselves to do.
There will always be those who choose to see life,
And the struggles others endure...
From movies, widening TV screens,
Or binoculars used as they peer from behind trees...
To validate a faking of a wisdom often to be argued,
With the ones who have received their completed lessons...
Taught fresh from the trenches to prove with wounds,
They did not sit to observe someone else fighting their battles.
There will always be those who choose to see life,
From their point of view.
And not necessarily from their own experiences, either!
As many feeling entitled excuse themselves to do.
And others will volunteer as a sacrifice to feel as a duty,
To assist in securing freedoms for all as promised.
With a few who will come to assist in providing comfort,
Or express an appreciation and with respect...
To the ones who will always associate life,
With a feeling of mental and physical pain for their efforts.
And this is the view many refuse to acknowledge.
Since to do it they will have to admit a reality exists.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Choice of life
Human have a gift named a choice
Human have an illusion named a choice
There is no other creature that should decide more to live
Human have a hope called a choice
Human have despair called a choice
There is no other creature that trapped often in such continuous and repeat conflict
Some could turn good because one choice
Some could turn bad because one choice
All have the consequence but right or wrong will never be known before
Human have a wish for a choice
Human have regret for a choice
There is no other creature that always goes between happiness and sorrow
When a choice made not all may be satisfied
When a choice made not all may be rescued
But the change will never happened if we stay silent
Human have fate to choose
Human also choose their fate
The interaction of those things will create what people called the choice of life
poem by Maria Sudibyo
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Look How Limited And Dim That Point Of View Is
Racists can't help but be crazy.
Look how limited and dim that point of view is!
And to the extreme the protection of insecurities.
Racists can't help but be crazy.
Remember those cowboy and indian days.
And the cavalry lead by John Wayne...
Saved every studio making movies,
In old Hollywood.
And our sense of greatness,
Was raised to new heights.
We taught our picked enemies how to fight!
Look how limited and dim that point of view is!
Racists can't help but be crazy.
And in denial many wont admit it in public.
As if their mindset does not reflect their ideals.
It does.
Any human being can feel the insignifance of it!
Racists can't help but be crazy.
Look how limited and dim that point of view is!
And to the extreme the protection of insecurities.
Look how the punching of holes in a once floating boat,
Sinks it!
Racists can't help but be crazy.
And many just lay on the beach to tan.
Without knowing a thing about swimming!
Or which deeds to uphold in respect and demand.
Look how limited and dim that point of view is!
And I'm just observing it.
Not passing judgement on this at all.
I choose not to stall my forward pace.
I choose to widen my perceptions...
As I move my mind into a broader space.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Just the Thought of You
When days like these...
Come and go to leave me feeling drained,
And weak.
Just the thought of you,
Brightens my point of view.
Giving me a strength to endure.
Just the thought of you,
Helps me through...
When days like these,
Traps me inside to welcome despair.
You may be there and not here,
When days like these...
Seem to come along with a mission to squeeze,
Every breath I breathe.
Just the thought of you,
Unclouds my view.
When days like these...
Come to pursue those moments I am alone.
And subdued in wishes I desire to exist.
But you give me reasons to remember,
I am loved!
And I choose those thoughts of you,
To keep me lifted.
When days like these insist to visit me.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Put That Bottle Down
When you get sippin'
I get tired of it.
Then you begin to trippin'
And that makes me sick.
Why can't you put,
That bottle down.
If you wont do that,
I can't stay around.
You're a closet alcoholic,
That's a fact you wont admit.
When you begin to nippin...
Your sips don't quit.
Why can't you put that bottle down.
If you wont do that I can't stay around.
You need to stop that sippin quick.
When you get drunk,
It makes me sick.
That habit that you have admit it...
Before you get ripped on your trip.
Why can't you put that bottle down.
If you wont do that I can't stay around.
If you choose to you can do it.
If you choose I'll help you through it,
But...
You need to put that bottle down.
You need to do it 'cause I want you around!
If you choose to you can do it.
If you choose I'll help you through it,
But...
You need to put that bottle down.
You need to do it 'cause I want you around!
If you choose to you can do it.
If you choose I'll help you through it,
But...
You need to put that bottle down.
You need to do it 'cause I want you around!
If you choose to you can do it.
If you choose I'll help you through it.
Prove it to yourself this habit you can remove!
Why can't you put that bottle down!
You can do it.
You can prove it.
I am here to help you through it!
And...
Why can't you put that bottle down?
You can do it.
You can prove it.
I am here to help you through it!
And...
Why can't you put that bottle down?
You can do it.
You can prove it.
I am here to help you through it,
To cease this evil.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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You Have Nothing To 'Anyone' To Prove
SOMETIMES...
Not often,
I am amused to meet...
Someone from my childhood,
Who attempts to re-invent...
The events I lived through,
From 'their' memory!
And how good it was,
In those days long gone...
When I was made to do chores,
As other kids played...
And I was home taking out garbage,
Washing dishes...
And mopping and sweeping floors.
As I look back at those days today,
I can say I am no longer bitter...
By how I was raised.
Or the fact that I had been called names.
But a fear I did not express.
Although I walked with my head down,
Feeling insecure and shamed.
'You're gonna fix this God? '
I would 'always' ask!
Today?
I live not too far from that same neighborhood.
And God has made so many things 'right' in my life.
That bitterness that use to sit within me?
Has been replaced by so much joy these days.
~Gee...
Is this 'me' feeling all this happiness? ~
I am tempted to evaluate others.
But I can 'feel' my mother daring me to do it.
And hearing her voice whisper in my ear to say...
'Larry, you have nothing to 'anyone' to prove.'
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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For Human Greed
We may as well try to find another Planet to live on
Since people they cannot live on the Moon
And Mother Earth the Planet that sustains us
We in our fits of madness choose to ruin.
And perhaps there's not another Planet out there
For human beings to live on and destroy
'Twould seem indeed that the price of human progress
Comes at a cost and the cost seems far too high.
Each day more creatures of extinction endangered
When the land they live on we choose to invade
And extinction sad to say it is forever
For human greed the price has to be paid.
We are paving the way to our own extinction
Where humans live pollution becomes rife
The World will not end with the death of the last human
And Nature will do nicely without human life.
We had better find another Planet to live on
Or become extinct as a species that's our choice
As we are making the Planet we live on for us quite unlivable
For human greed that seems too high a price.
poem by Francis Duggan
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Ages to Ages
Work was with pain those days
Work was with lot of pain but with less gain.
Work was with lot of pain and more strain
Even though work was with lot of pain and more strain, most of the things were in vein.
Now-a-days work is of less strain and no pain, But with lot of gain.
Now-a-days enormous work is replaced by effective and efficient work.
It is the day of harmony and glare.
Now-a-days there is lesser strain and lot of gain.
But one day will come when there won’t be to humans any pain and strain because every thing will be done using machine's brain then no one will take a chance to know, that they have a brain.
poem by Narendra Kuppan
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How People Grow from Their Experiences
There are very few,
Who dare to say they qualify...
To identify themselves,
As bona fide human beings.
Can say...
They have lived their lives,
Expriencing pain, emotional stress...
Caused either mentally or physically.
With a witnessing of happiness, loss...
Love and the affects of feeling loneliness,
After someone loved has passed away...
From life!
To then say...
Nothing what they have experienced,
To witness...
Has not taught them lessons.
Many of which have aided in a peace of mind,
To claim as it has been earned.
How people grow from their experiences,
Depends upon the condition,
Of how they have accepted the reality of being human.
Others,
However...
Are still relying on their pretentions to keep them,
Making false appearances they sell to others...
As a means to pass their judgements.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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You Want to Gain...What?
You want to gain...
What?
Fame, fortune and wealth?
To feel you are above everyone else?
To deal them with teases...
Just to please yourself?
You want to gain...
What?
Attention you insist belongs to you?
To set pretensions upon their point of view.
What does this 'really' do for you?
Would this erase your insecurities...
And those obscenities that you spew?
You want to gain...
What?
A dignity and pride...
With 'things' and objects,
You believe holds a head high.
Or eyes on you!
To be awed by a fake persona.
And left transfixed...
By your masquerading of it!
You clearly feel an emptiness.
And this you keep inside.
Nothing you choose to express to impress...
Will ever address what you deny!
And an identity unknown...
Seems to leave you depressed,
With regrets.
This is shown!
And moving forward beyond this...
With determined steps,
Will not gain you what you wish.
If you are too afraid...
To expose and admit,
Mistakes you've made!
But you insist...
None are there to fix.
You want to gain...
What?
A way to disguise your blemishes,
There and appearing.
Or a way to escape from your flaws?
No one finds endearing.
Which of these do you believe can not be seen?
You want to gain...
What?
Another life?
One you don't find,
So disgusting?
To live one that is lived perfectly right!
One you wished you had lived less distrusting.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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The lifetime of a human being is measured by decades, the lifetime of the Sun is a hundred million times longer. Compared to a star, we are like mayflies, fleeting ephemeral creatures who live out their lives in the course of a single day.
Carl Sagan in Cosmos
Submitted by Catalin Popescu
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If It Offends
I awakened no longer beholdened,
To those emotional traps.
The kind that others leave,
With expectations...
Something done I did disliked,
Eventually to have me feeling guilt ridden.
And I would then offer an apology.
I awakened no longer beholdened,
To those emotional traps.
Or do something done,
Without being consciously attached.
I use to be the one to forgive and forget.
No matter who said what to me.
To show no concern or expression of a regret.
And I would laugh when publicly,
I was shown nothing but disrespect.
I awakened no longer beholdened,
To those emotional traps.
The kind that others leave,
With expectations...
Something done I did disliked,
Eventually to have me feeling guilt ridden.
And I would then offer an apology.
Well those days do not exist for me anymore.
I say what I mean and if it offends,
I let others know immediately...
Being provoked I don't consider to be a joke.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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