For Whatever The Reason That Is
I lived that 'straight' and normal life.
That's right!
For whatever that was and for some does.
I also walked upon paths,
Others decided were the best and no one should pass.
That's right!
For whatever that was and for some does.
I even chose to leave my own interests behind.
To please others who had druthers to believe,
What I was born and with a choice to do...
Was a foolish move and I was a fool.
That's right!
And day and night I was laughed at too.
Then one day I awakened,
Determined to put a stamp on my identity.
That's right!
I awakened to realize my life should be prioritized,
For me.
And for whatever the reason that awakening did,
I began to witness what others sought to seek.
That's right.
I observed and witnessed in disbelieve,
What it was others sought to seek.
And it was the approval from others,
They are still attempting to get.
But somehow have not received.
For whatever the reason that is!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Related quotes
Decided to Find the Core
When I awakened my last time from deep denial,
I decided to clear my eyes of wants.
And focused on just my needs.
I began to eliminate excess.
I rid my life of annoying pests and agitation.
I decided to find the core of my happiness.
Obstacles became more determined,
Not to see me succeed.
My path became blocked with foolishness.
Until...
I began to see things for what they were.
Even though they tormented me to see them differently.
When I awakened my last time from deep denial,
I decided to clear my eyes of wants.
And focused on just my needs.
Today...
Everything I'm wanting has become a daily desire.
And I thank the Almighty with excitement every morning.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Experiencing Those Interests
As one who has chosen to live my life,
With an appreciation to be creative...
And many times facing opposition,
Attempting to prevent...
My experiencing those interests as I saw fit.
I sometimes felt those obstacles I confronted,
Were place on my path with a deliberateness.
And when I decided I would and could,
Overcome each one with a struggling done.
I began to realize the benefits of my own wisdom.
To refuse as I do today any invitation,
To revisit my past.
For the purposes to entertain those who believe,
I seek to joke to solict and get their laughs.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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I Have Been Saved
I have been saved; I have been saved, truly by a Holy Righteous God,
Given a new heart and a new life, to leave the path I once had trod.
For I was born with a heart of flesh that was truly tainted with sin,
But The Lord in His Mercy reached down and changed me from within.
When The Gracious Holy Lord chose to touch and circumcise my heart,
He also chose to leave me in the world but He also set my life apart.
Now I no longer have my old desire to continue my life of wicked sin,
For as a new creature found in Christ I began a new life sure in Him.
The Lord also set me upon a new path and gave me a brand new start,
And the only way to please my Lord is to seek Him with all my heart.
The Word of God tells me to seek first His Kingdom and Righteousness,
This path leads me to gain His Wisdom, so for Him I can be a witness.
If we truly believe in Christ a definite change will be in our heart,
As this is a sign to unbelievers and a witness of a brand new start.
This change that occurs is manifested by The Spirit we can not see,
It's The Holy Spirit Who sealed me with a New Life that set me free.
For the change to my life took place the very moment of my Salvation,
And this new work was fully accomplished by The Lord of all Creation.
Although it only took a brief moment to accept The Lord's Salvation,
A Sanctified Life to be used by The Lord is my lifelong obligation.
(Copyright © 06/2002)
Do You Want This?
'Do you want this?
Come and get it.'
I slept with dreams.
And awakened as if they existed.
I awakened as if...
In my hands I held them.
To realize and never to let them drift.
'You want this?
What makes you think,
It will be made easy...
For you to touch and get.'
And I began to taste my dreams,
To me fed on a daily basis.
Years of impatience I knew too well.
Rushing to succeed...
Had me stumbling to fall.
I hated being teased.
'Do you or do you 'not' want this?
How else do you expect to get it? '
I could not shut that voice within up.
It seemed to taunt and I was beginning to have enough.
And then...
A process began within me slow.
Although my dreams and wishes would not let me go.
They were there holding onto me too tightly.
Slowly I began to seek teachings needed.
Gritting my teeth to qualify my desires.
And then one day I did awaken validated.
Feeling with a patience quite surprised.
And accepting what I had not realized.
'You want this? '
Yes.
Yes, I do.
I feel I am ready.
And I've got patience too.
'Good for you.
Now...
Just with a few more steps taken,
All that you wish...
Will eventually come true for you to exist.'
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Enriched
What was difficult?
A decision made to be me.
A decision to leave,
Everything and everyone...
Who did not grasp,
Their own identity.
And when clarity came,
And stared in my face...
I stood and stared right back!
That was the most difficult thing I did.
And since then...
I recognized,
How many had not done that.
How many,
In fact...
Did not know who or what they were.
And I did not fully realize until I witnessed them...
How long I had been back then,
Like them...
In hiding!
Pretending I knew the life I lived.
But today I do not seek,
Acceptance from anyone to qualify that.
I did not know that finding myself,
Would leave me feeling so enriched!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Self Esteem And Identity Issues
Who is to say,
How someone else should be?
Or that they are not being themselves?
Especially when those claiming to be down to Earth,
Seek approval from others who also have self esteem...
And identity issues.
While those who have put a stamp on their individuality,
Are said to believe themselves better than the others...
With attempts they make to prove they seek to experience,
More than just an average existence by doing things to improve...
Their outlooks with an adventuring done to explore their lives,
Away from routine complaints and gossiping about others!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Pointless Oppositions
So happy am I and pleased to see,
Others with talents to express them publicly.
When I began to do this I felt alone and strange.
Especially when people misunderstood my attempts,
To do what I desired and not seek attention to get.
Although it was part of the territory to be exposed.
I only knew of a love of it.
Ego had nothing to do what I chose!
And as years have gone by so happy am I,
To see others with 'gifts' express them in public.
I know how lonely and difficult it gets,
When others with no interests...
'Assume' they can pass judgement with senseless tests.
Hoping to discourage those born to do their best.
To only witness one determined to be who they are,
And achieve with a doing to reflect their best efforts.
So happy am I and pleased to see,
Others with talents to express them publicly.
And...
Putting to rest,
Those who protest with their pointless oppositions.
Only those who know,
Grow from those wounds to heal to show what's real.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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For Those Who Had Ignored Exploration
Remember when you were told,
Some folks existed to be beneath your feet.
And you sought to seek examples of this!
Only to discover you had been tricked.
Get over it.
There is so much more,
To learn about your existence.
There is so much more,
Being awakened has instore...
For those who had ignored exploration!
And clarity is provided for those who lied in hiding.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Souvenirs
Meander without leaving a trail
Like how you cry without a wail
They come, they go, the beacons
Of this silently burdened quarters
Like how you shall when you seek,
When you are sought,
When you are found;
The tourists who wander and
The streetlamps at every dusk
They are the only things that pass
But still remains the same.
So, come and be sought,
So, come and seek,
And pick up the little souvenirs
Of the best pilfered time
But never leave one
Not even the memory
Of your taillights' waning.
It had been too good
To remain the same
Perhaps heaven lies within
The tranquility of beckoning
So tonight I shall wager
For the heaven in these souvenirs.
poem by Norman Santos
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slUmdOg's cHase for liFe
Born with nothing, marked by poverty
Lived like a dog, treated impatiently and unhuman,
Discrimination received, mocks from the upper kind
Until when and where will they run?
Run, your kind, run!
Fill your stomach, battle hard for survival,
You, who's surrounded by other's greed
Whom you will seek for help?
Trusted no one but yourself
You chose to chase life on what you know is best,
The aftermath of what you chose will give you rest!
poem by InNer WhisPers
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Once Tied To A Rush Of Confusion
An awakening occurs,
That establishes...
For the one witnessing it.
A freedom to express a consciousness.
That releases a mind,
Once tied to a rush of confusion...
One accepted as part of a life one gets.
And when this awakening does occur,
From an unrested peacelessness...
Tested by others not yet awakened.
There is a sense of quality of life that comes.
One begins to realize and connect...
To every experience one has endured.
And all of them collectively one's footsteps have met.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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I Felt Freed
One day I awakened,
And there was an insignificance I sensed,
From yesterday!
That cleared the morning air.
There was something about my life,
That had arrived and I liked.
Appearing in my sight...
With such a happiness I could not ignore.
It was there to make certain,
I had been aware.
And whatever to me was done and/or said,
Before I laid my head down in my bed...
Prepared to flee.
Somehow this was unknown to me.
And when I had awakened it had fled!
No longer to me to be important.
To address as my priorities.
And I felt freed!
I felt freed.
I felt...
Freed!
To live a life much more motivated.
With a quest to face challenges...
I now seek and dare!
As opportunities to prove...
I can move anything off my path,
That isn't of benefit and doesn't belong there!
And I felt freed!
I felt freed.
I felt...
Freed!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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That Which Possesses My Life
It has been 24 years now,
That I decided to leave behind...
Every possession I had collected,
And had owned.
To be of comfort to someone else.
I had did this before,
Back in 1969.
For a similar reason,
That has blessed me...
With tremendous insight.
And I do..I can understand 'why',
People cling tightly onto what they possess.
It connects them with their existence to life.
And I am glad I've discovered...
I am life!
Not 'that' which I possess.
I awakened with a consciousness to that revelation.
And...
THAT which possesses 'my' life,
Awards me for expressing my gratefulness.
And so blessed I am to be aware of this connection.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Who Awakened Would Be Envious
Why is it,
When a person has decided...
A peace valued and wishes to keep,
Is a sign of temporary defiance?
And not a life choice one has made.
When one has lived,
In the sharing of chaos, confusion...
And indecisiveness of others,
What would make anyone think...
This way of life,
Is so overwhelmingly attractive...
One who has escaped from it,
Is desiring to participate?
By pretending to be left alone?
But they wish...
By a sending of 'perceived' mixed signals,
To have 'that' nonsense lived...
Their way?
Who awakened would be envious of it?
Crazy are the fools who think this way!
An escape,
IF successful...
Is a blessing.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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If It Is Peace
With imagination...
Free we are to deliver,
Our best creations.
Only we restrict them to limits!
Sometimes selfishly we decide,
To explore or hide.
Within those limits.
And satisfied we are,
When they've been reached.
Snuggle some do...
In moods of fictionalized attitudes.
Set and draped upon landscapes,
Author made.
To invite escapes.
For the mind traveling to other times.
To visit while watching a movie.
And hypnotized to feel...
Live and breathe,
The experience.
Believed with feelings felt to be real.
~If it is peace we say we seek,
Why isn't this captured and released...
To be as it is wished and witnessed? ~
Rendered portraits on canvas hooked,
To walls.
Will stop and stall one in motion.
With eyeballs that seem to follow.
If the artist wishes this.
From a devotion set in motion.
~If it is peace we say we seek,
Why isn't this captured and released...
To be as it is wished and witnessed? ~
With imagination...
Free we are to deliver,
Our best creations.
Only we restrict them to limits!
Sometimes selfishly we decide,
To explore or hide.
Within those limits.
And satisfied we are,
When they've been reached.
Architects.
Dancers with bodies flexed.
Poets sometimes rhyme,
Or ramble on with prose...
Depict from the heart,
What sensations lay bared...
To pen and share right from the start.
'Please...
Leave me to drift,
Upon the smooth watered rocks.
In a cascading not to stop...
The fresh bleeding of my emotions.'
So much of us can be exposed,
To silence our indifferences.
If we chose to compose our thoughts.
To bring to life 'that' which is sought.
And,
If it is peace?
Why must it be fought?
Before it becomes realized...
In our presence and prioritized to keep.
~If it is peace we say we seek,
Why isn't this captured and released...
To be as it is wished and witnessed? ~
And yet...
Perhaps peace is too abstract to define,
To permit it a basic comfort.
For those who have nourished to feed,
On complexities!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Direct And Decisive
It would be wonderful to awaken,
In an environment...
Where the people found it,
To the best of their interests...
To be direct and decisive.
With an elimination of being evasive.
To then uncover an honesty that refreshes,
The meaning of comprehension with understanding.
Instead of leaving assumptions,
As a basis of one's deluded reality.
Wouldn't it be great?
To awakened to realize this has been prioritized.
With truth as the utmost purpose one has to share.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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What 'Fit' Would I Want
Identity?
I've had one for so long.
All my life,
I have lived to perfect it.
I don't get upset with those with none.
Those who prefer to turn away and run...
If confronted!
Identity?
I know who I am without question.
Acceptance I don't seek.
Not from those
Who believe my identity
Might leave others afraid to speak.
Those familiar with others,
Who shuffle along with stances weak.
I have no problem,
Being me and that might offend.
'Too bad! '
'Get over it! '
Nothing else or more is there...
I care to share with them!
What 'fit' would I want,
If that which I enjoy...
Provides me comfort?
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Those Slow To Learn Their Lessons
So many years have passed.
And so many have lived their lives,
Being led down the wrong paths...
To one day discover,
As if the clouds have been removed...
From clearing eyes and minds,
To realize those tasks and evil misdeeds...
Done to others in times left behind,
Should have never by them...
The focus of their attention given.
But...
It was.
And those who had been picked,
For those misdeeds done determined...
To have been fit and appropriate,
Might have also awakened with a change of mind.
Perhaps for them they were willing once 'then' to forgive,
But today they may be more convinced...
That those slow to learn their lessons as quick,
Are deserving of repeated teachings...
Until such doing has become satisfying to please.
And those messages they attempted to deliver,
Are guaranteed to have been received.
'I don't understand why I am the one,
Treated in such an offensive manner.'
~Don't worry about it.
You're not the only one who suffers,
From a selective memory.
All you have to do is connect the dots.
What have you done,
That you wish had been forgotten? ~
'I don't remember.'
~Apparently someone you afflicted does.
And has chosen this moment to test.
Until your mind connects.~
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Making Time And Finding Comfort
I awakened today,
With yesterday on my mind.
And the day before.,
Along with those days before that...
Gone but obviously not forgotten.
And I asked myself...
Why are times I can not change,
Making time and finding comfort in my mind?
And giving me a reason to trip,
With 'what 'ifs'?
I awakened today,
With yesterday on my mind.
And the day before.,
Along with those days before that...
Gone but obviously not forgotten.
And I asked myself...
'If it is time you want to waste,
Why can't you take some of it...
And clean up your house? '
Needless to say...
I thought that comment was extremely rude.
So I left.
Determined to return when I felt like it.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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I Knew That
There isn’t much that I don’t know
Of life that I have lived but once,
This doesn’t mean my life was full
A fool would dare to say as much;
A fool I’m not nor ever been.
The little that I do not know
Is difficult to seek and find
For what’s unknown, what do I seek?
If I search for what’s imagined
all I know is simply wasted.
The little that’s unknown to me
In spite of it I learned to see
That what you know is tried and true
It’s what you don’t know can hurt you.
poem by Albert Ahearn
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