Escape From This Is Not Possible

Our lives are being subsidized,
To pay for their guilts.
And to minimize their disgrace.

Poor judgements and bad tastes,
Devalued treasures taken.
With faked faces,
Great thefts took place.
Now we help build shadows,
To rake over the filth...
Laced with steps to them traced.

Our lives are being subsidized,
To pay for their guilts.
And to minimize their disgrace.

Escape from this is not possible.
Depleted is a patience,
To correct their own misdeeds.
Reflecting an accepting,
Way of life known that has come to be.

We pay!
They take!
That's how it is.
With hopes that a bleeding,
Retreats.

We pay!
They take!
That's how it is.
In preparation,
For lessons like these...
To repeat!

Implanted in mindsets,
Are bred activities...
To continue like this to live and breathe.

We pay!
They take!
That's how it is.
In preparation,
For lessons like these...
To repeat!

poem by Lawrence S. PertillarReport problemRelated quotes
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Im In Disgrace

The first time that I saw you
You were the lady of my dreams.
The very next time I had to make you mine,
And I treated you like a queen.
The third time that I saw you
You treated me with such distaste,
Now I wish Id never seen your face.
Im in disgrace,
Im in disgrace.
Because I fell for your pretty face,
Im in disgrace. hes in disgrace.
Im in disgrace. hes in disgrace.
You captured me in your embrace.
Theres no use blaming me
And saying I was your ruination
Because it was you equally
That got us into this situation.
It wasnt lust, it wasnt rape,
It was just a mistake
Im in disgrace. hes in disgrace.
Im in disgrace. hes in disgrace.
Because I fell for your pretty face.
Im in disgrace. shes in disgrace.
Im in disgrace. hes in disgrace.
You captured me in your embrace.
Was your love real or faked?
Or was it only infatuation?
Picture you in my place.
I wish Id acted with a little less haste.
Im in disgrace.
Im in disgrace.
Because I fell for your pretty face.
Oh what a waste. hes in disgrace.
Im in disgrace. hes in disgrace.
Now my names dirt and Im disgraced.
Im in disgrace.

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How We Learned Our Lessons

Through the living of their lives...
That's how we learned our lessons.
Through the observation of their sacrifices...
That's how we learned our lessons.

And we understood each one of them.
With our minds, eyes and ears opened.
Through the living of their lives...
That's how we learned our lessons.

Through the acceptance and loving ourselves.
That's how we learned our lessons.
Through the giving of respect,
We ourselves sometimes did not get!
That's how we learned our lessons.

And even though our steps made forward...
Were made to believe by others as limited.
And sometimes we wept and knew this was negative.
It was through the acceptance of who we were,
And loving ourselves.
That's how we learned our lessons.

And the parents we loved and had,
Did not brag about their college degrees!
Or 'things' with them we could buy to achieve...
To succeed in the repossessing of our minds,
Some permit an entry for this to be done!

They were with us all the time,
Telling us we could accomplish anything!
And could prove that too to ourselves and anyone.
'Whatever' it was we chose in our lives to do.
And working hard we did...
To pursue.

Through the living of their lives...
That's how we learned our lessons.
Through the observation of their sacrifices...
That's how we learned our lessons.

Dedicated to:
Andrea ('Mimmie') , Tammy and Lisa
My sisters.

'Love you for your 'gifts' given...
Edna Pearl Roberts Prudhomme Pertillar
And Lawrence Pertillar, Sr.'
Our Parents.

~lsp~

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I'm a big believer in the fact that life is about preparation, preparation, preparation.

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To Leave Proof Of It

It may be fun when one is younger,
To create lies and make up stories to tell...
On those people chosen to victimize.
Those who carry pain inside of themselves,
Most of their lives they can not hide.

But the ones who are most affected,
By their deceptions and wickedness...
Are the many who age at various stages,
As guilts upon their minds begin to visit.
While their misdeeds offer no escapes or exits.

'God does not like those who perform acts ugly.
To leave proof of it with them to snuggle and hug.'

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Prostye Dvizheniya

I continue simple moves
You continue my continuations
I am you, and you are me
I repeat, you repeat.
If you want -be silent,
Wait until it stops.
If you want keys,
2 turns around
If you want yours,
If you want somebody's,
If you want be like me
And I continue
Simple moves, I continue...
Simple moves..
We continue simple moves
Destroying irrigation.
Somewhere you find,
Somewhere you lose
I repeat, you repeat.
This is love,
Springs are jumping.
Tomorrow everyone
Can be smaller then snowflake.
We have to be on time
Not refusing.
We should be able
Continue to live.
Simple moves, continuing to live...
Simple moves...
Where are you?
Where are you?
Where are you?
Where are you?
Where are you?
Where are you?
Where are you?
Where are you?
Where are you?
Simple moves...

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The Obviousness Of You doing This

It must to you feel great,
To create an opposition.
Then to bait others...
To help keep it faked.

It does,
Doesn't it?
It has to.

The obviousness of you doing this,
Shows with a glow upon your face.
And those you have chosen to oppose,
Only play along as an added hobby.

Knowing it is your disgrace and not theirs,
You can not easily erase.
When the act of yours is traced.
And you are left without explanation.

It must to you feel great,
To create an opposition.
Then to bait others...
To help keep it faked.

It does,
Doesn't it?
It has to.

But it is your fate,
Tossed away.
With no escaping,
From the damage you make to fake...
An opposition!

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Beautiful Disgrace

I see the real you. You put me in my place.
Close to perfection. Youre out of control. Youre out of control.
Pardon me I feel the need to scream.
Im ill, stuck in the chemical abyss.
Im gripping at the walls around me.
Pardon me if I was laughing at the crimes.
I was laughing at the way you lie. Tell me why.
All my lies come down to this.
Cause I dont need friends who try to wrap me up in red tape.
Get em off my back theyre dead weight.
In case you didnt catch my signs the first time let me tell you again.
All my life I tried to explain how I love myself to release the pain.
Anti-magnetic so quit your bitching, lying, crying. Tell me why...
[ Chorus ]
Lately inside Im giving in to revenge.
Tell me why Im in over my head.
Why Im in over my head.
Im in so deep that...
When I wake up I dont wanna know you.
Tell me my name again.
Youre just a beautiful disgrace.
A beautiful disgrace. A beautiful disgrace.
Come with me so I can show you how to live.
Burning the candle at both ends.
Im gripping at the walls around me.
Dont complicate it.
Im addicted to this life.
Ill be your token of attention.
All my lies come down to this.
[ Repeat Chorus ]
Lately inside Im giving in to revenge.
Tell me why Im in over my head.
Why Im in over my head.
I see the real you. You put me in my place.
Close to perfection. Youre out of control.
I see the real you. I saw through everything.
Close to perfection. I saw through everything.
If I could take away this pain just one more time, I might.
I saw through everything. Tell me why Im in over my head.
When I wake up I dont wanna know you.
Tell me my name again.
Youre just a beautiful disgrace.
Such a beautiful disgrace (disgrace, disgrace).
Youre such a beautiful disgrace.
Youre so vain, vain, vain.
So grow your guilt from another vine.
Ive given this enough time (lately inside Im giving in).
Grow your guilt from another vine.
Ive given this enough time (lately inside Im giving in).
Grow your guilt from another vine.
Ive given this enough time (tell me why Im in).
Grow your guilt from another vine.
Ive given this enough time.
Grow your guilt youre a beautiful disgrace (disgrace, disgrace).
Such a beautiful disgrace. Youre so vain, vain, disgrace.

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Many Faces

Will it take some time, to release the inner apathy
Enabled inside, and it looks like you're the enemy
Things are never what they seem, can't explain the reasons why
The illusions that we see, the many faces of our lives
When you find it hard to breathe, never keep it all inside
Which one should I be, the many faces of our lives
Irrelevant minds, you become a little more serious
Still passing me by, you should not be, rightly, dear to us
[Chorus x1]
If you feel that the timing is all wrong
Here's the key to remove yourself from harm
Maybe then you will live again, live again
[Chorus x1]
I'm afraid we're in too deep, things are never what they seem
[repeat]
I'm afraid we're just too deep to come out okay
I'm afraid we're just too deep to come out okay
Now

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The Mentality of One's Ignorance

The mentality of one's ignorance,
Is often fed from birth.
One's environment exposes them...
To a comfort they grow to thirst.

People of limited securities,
Are the first to label and compare.
Uncertain of their own identities...
They use status and class,
To separate themselves...
In communities as if others are diseased.

The mentality of one's ignorance,
Is often fed from birth.
Beliefs and standards are subsidized,
To qualify one's worth.

And the ones who are at a disadvantage...
Aren't the ones who are depicted as poor!
The ones whose lives are victimized...
Are those who take from others,
With a quest that feeds a need for more!

And unsatisfied with their own lives...
They refuse to respect other cultures,
By imposing their own,
Upon foreign shores.

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Your grandchild has tougher lessons to teach

When your child was born
You might have learned certain lessons
As he or she was growing
The child would have been
Teaching lessons
Which you were not learning
From anywhere else
You would have found the lessons
Tough and difficult to absorb
As basics and fundamentals
Language used by the faculty
Methodology of teaching
Were quite different
Most of the time unstructured
Unmindful of your moods
The teacher would have kept you
Loaded with lessons difficult to decipher
The classes were far unique and
Very specially different
From any of the formal institution
Which were preparing you
For making a life
The lessons here aimed at
Making you live fully alive and aware of
Absolute realities
You would agree
Learning these never made you tired
And you were enthusiastically looking for
New lessons to come up
By the time
Your child has grown up
And stopped teaching you any further
Your grand child arrives
Now the lessons turn tougher still
Despite all the experiences in life and living
Your learning is quite difficult now
The teacher is in a great hurry
And often keeps changing
The course of lessons
You find new reasons
For things happening around
And you see yourself
In new enthusiasm
Which you feel will help you live
Longer still
With enough energy, strength and skill
In spite of the fact that
Your grandchild has tougher lessons to teach

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Confined and Limited

As long as the affects
Would damage their ethnic heritage...
They were allowed,
To degrade and disrespect themselves.
In glorious decadence...
An intelligence dismisses.

For marketing and entertainment value.
Connecting temptation and lust...
With pride to maintain their ignorance.
Trusting in a deceptive acceptance!
They praised the spreading of their own craze!

And those that used them would pocket.
No one wished to stop it...
Since these images were worshipped as symbolic.
Like alcoholics on a binge...
They passed along these priorities onto their children.
For fortune and fame!
And certain prison cells to claim.
As if a graduation takes place.

Are these the freedoms their ancestors perceived?
To be flushed down the drain...
By the deceit and misdeeds of their masters!
As lessons learned to disgrace...
A race demoralized with identities defaced.

For all to find themselves...
Eventually,
In a socialistic bliss.
Confined and limited,
By a greed that defeats...
A consciousness diminished.
And depleted as is wished!

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Revolution

Love lies bleeding, from the east now to the west
Im waiting to put your loving to the test
* I need to know, I need to give
I need to feel to breathe and live
Im cutting loose and Im breaking out
Im goin to leave you baby in no doubt cause
** this will be my own revolution
With a burning flag held high
I will make my own constitution
Till the day I die
Sensations in every move that you ever make
Revelations what you now give you cant take
* repeat
** repeat
[instrumental]
If hell is to give Im wondering what Im going to do
And I just couldnt see, oh and how
My feelings run hot and I just couldnt stop now
** repeat
** repeat
** repeat
Till the day I die, till the day I die, till the day I die....

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Secret Lives

I dont know
I dont know whats on your mind
I thought everything was fine
But it was my surprise.
I dont know
I dont know whats going on
Something surely must be wrong
Youre living secret lives.
Chorus:
Living secret lives, secret lives
And I wonder where she goes to in the night
In secret lives.
Wish I knew
Wish I knew where I fit in
Wish that I knew everything
About your secret lives.
If it means
If it means that much to you
I dont want to stop the things you do
I dont need alibis.
Repeat chorus
I dont care
I dont care what goes on there
So long as one day I can share
Share your secret lives.
Repeat chorus
Repeat chorus
Repeat chorus
Secret lives, secret lives
Secret lives, secret lives...

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Foolish Rush to Pass Our Judgements

Wouldn't it be great,
If we could reach back in time...
And replace our decisions made.
With a clarity now so obvious,
That what was chosen to dismiss...
And the 'who' and the 'why'
For our foolish rush,
To pass our judgements...
Have no intentions to express an empathy.
None to be received in our direction.

The pain,
Is unbearable!
Isn't it?

Now many of us sit with feelings,
Of fading arrogance.
While realizing an ignorance displayed,
With horrific public temperments...
As if self centered children!
And fuming with such viciousness,
Consciously directed to 'that'
Which unknowingly to 'us' had our backs.
That are now up against the wall.

As some choose to wear Foster Grants,
To hide the tears falling from their eyes.

And those who knew of our activities done,
Now shun 'us'!
With a wish not to look in our direction.

Those kind of lessons learned forever scar.
Leaving the ones who have chosen to masquerade,
In the wrong parades selected...
To flaunt irreplaceable misdeeds.
Pleading for an opportunity,
To correct what has been done!

And anyone who has ever done this before,
Knows how difficult it is...
To retrieve and collect thrown confetti!
The quality of it with a freshness maintained,
Will never be the same.

poem by Lawrence S. PertillarReport problemRelated quotes
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Behold His Glory

Behold the Glory of The Lord; let not His presence go ignored,
And you will have the peace of Christ, as you live this busy life.
Let not your many busy days, hinder your God honoring praise,
Praise well deserving to the One, who gave to us His Only Son.

For only God is deserving of, endless praise to show our love,
As the more we behold of Him, the more He changes us within.
Changes within us to display, His character throughout our day,
Reflecting in our life His Son, as a witness for Him to everyone,

When God we continue to behold, blessings continue to unfold,
Filling us with peace by Grace, to guide us daily place to place.
Reflecting on just who God is, impacts the way a believer lives,
Knowing what He wants from us, when in God, we put our trust.

God wants a life devoted to, His Son, who died for me and you,
And all we need to live this life, is faith and trust in Jesus Christ.
Even through one’s frenzied life, seeing sorrow and some strife,
He will help us more than cope, as we behold the Blessed Hope.

So this day behold The King, the Lord and Master of everything,
Fixing your eyes upon The Lamb, who is for us the Great “I AM”.
Let Christ overwhelm our ways, as He sees us through our days,
Then that presence of The Lord, by others, shall not go ignored.

(Copyright ©01/2008)

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In Fear to Live Without An Approval Given

Comatosed,
And going through programmed motions.
A life grossed out,
With overdosed imposed notions.
And under hypnosis,
As neurotics sometimes appear.

Stuck!

In ruts.
And too addicted to give them up!
In fear to live without an approval given.

Lives becoming too corrupt!
For those who've been fed...
Their lives lived,
Are headed towards bad luck!

Stuck!

In ruts.
And too addicted to give them up!
In fear to live without an approval given.

While some on the other hand,
Wearing shoes spit shined...
Reflecting all for them is going grand.
All is fine.
With seats sitting on top of the World.
Are never seen behind the scenes...
Throwing their temper tantrums,
As if spoiled boys and girls.
Screaming from inside their soundproof cells.
No one hears them screaming!
Not the ones who believe them to be living well.

Not from the hell they've made!

Fresh pressed dresses.
And suits with no hints of lint.
Often send wrong messages...
To those impressed!
Expressing their bittersweet and sour laments.

Stuck!

In ruts.
And too addicted to give them up!
In fear to live without an approval given.

The ones deluded by the giving of false presentations,
Waste too much time...
Finding excuses to make!

And hoping no one passes judgements on them,
In acceptable discussions in those social circles wished...
To be invited to participate because of their exquisite tastes.
And not for the bad impressions rejected.
Or an image dismissed,
By those who choose to keep their images faked!

Stuck!

In ruts.
And too addicted to give them up!
In fear to live without an approval given.

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Infestation

From birth to achieve one's purpose,
Is that what it is one's life should be?
Or are we given this experience...
To exist to witness others succeed?

Are we to take life as an expected gift?
To sit in anticipation...
As life should come to us,
To breeze through easily.

From birth to achieve one's purpose,
Like steps come in increments.
First there is a crawling done.
To stand up tall to fall.
Ignoring to stall these as minor incidents.
Is not this life to live with such a preference?

No flying from a leap...
Some believe taken in clean sweeps,
To not repeat...
Incompleted lessons.

From birth to achieve one's purpose,
In sessions God dictates.
Although some prefer to stay whining like babies.
Hoping an empathy negates their impatient wait.

And some are often praised,
When they leave implusive scars...
To leave marks condone!
By others shown...
They too were raised to be just as crazed!
With the effects of this to go unquestioned.
Since their beliefs are released...
For a complete infestation for others to reap.
As reality takes a backseat...
While continuing to be depleted.

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If you throw peanuts..

Tax rebate,
subsidized fuel,
Hand outs,
of few hundreds,
subsidized food items,
stamps and welfare system.

In some other places,
Grinder, blender,
out dated black and white Tv,
mass produced defective,
electronics and electromechanics,
and pretentious concern,
at the last minute.

Remember,

We are not monkeys,
to throw the peanuts at us.
We have the power,
at our finger.
If you, corrupt governments,
of the world,
do not decide our future,
that prosperous and healthy,
We will decide your future,
showing the exit and then,
the illegally acquired wealth,
may have to spend for your health.

poem by Veeraiyah SubbulakshmiReport problemRelated quotes
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To Live In A Poor Place Or Suburb

To live in a poor Place or Suburb as bad as a punishable crime
That's how it is and always will be 'tis something that won't change in time
On the road that leads from the poor Suburb it is a long hike to success
Condemned by the street that you live on and condemned by your postal address
Condemned by the judgements of the judgemental to spend their lives in Earthly Hell
Few very few from the poor Suburb in life ever seem to do well
The judgemental arrogant talk of life choices but never of birth circumstance
The homeless youth of Poverty Street of success have such a slim chance
For them life is such a hard battle a tough steep climb all of the way
Where many are doomed for to die young and few live to be old and gray
Where so many do become outlaws and spend most of their lives in jail
They follow in parental footsteps from birth they are doomed for to fail
Those born and raised in the poor Place or Suburb have little hope of happiness
Their life journey is such a tough road with so little chance of success.

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Lesson In Love

I'm not proud, I was wrong
and the truth is hard to take
I felt sure we had enough
but our love went overboard
lifeboat lies lost at sea
I've been trying to reach your shore
waves of doubt keep drowning me
All the dreams that we were building
we never fulfilled them
could be better, should be better
for lessons in love
For restless eyes egos burn
and the mold is hard to break
now we've waded in too deep
and love is overboard
heavy hearts token words
all the hopes I ever had
fade like footprints in the sand
All the homes that we were building
we never lived in
could be better, should be better
lessons in love
if we lose the time before us
the future will ignore us
we should use it, we could use it, yeah
Lessons in love
Lost without love...
Lessons in love
When will you ever learn
Lessons in love
When there's nowhere left to turn
Lessons in love
Don't let your spirit burn
Lessons in love
I'll wait 'till you return
All the dreams that we were building
we never fulfilled them
could be better, should be better
for lessons in love
All the homes that we were building
we never lived in
could be better, should be better
lessons in love
if we lose the time before us
the future will ignore us
we should use it, we could use it, yeah
lessons in love

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