Do You Want More?

Do you want more?
I've got it to give.
I was that kid...
Compared to those of 'influence'
Taunted by those,
Who laughed at me and what I did.
Do you want more?
Or should I ignore your sadness,
With a regret?
Forgive and forget!
Since I have long earned my happiness.
Perhaps I should.
Since you have inflicted,
Your own wounds much better...
Than those I could inject!
And with such imaginative bitterness,
I would have never suspect.
Do you want more?
Perhaps my satisfaction,
Seeing you in disarray this way...
Is enough.
And I have much to be thankful for!

poem by Lawrence S. PertillarReport problemRelated quotes
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Situations Experienced

It is troubling enough to be bombarded by regret.
Haunted by disappointments.
And tossed about emotionally,
Over situations experienced one can not forget.
Or can be soothed by those disbelieving or suspect.

Sometimes a face one tries to mask,
Has a life that seems strained in appearance.
With a drained voice and weak convictions shown.
It becomes difficult to reach feelings unknown
When a paining inside no one outside can see.

Haunted by disappointment and bombarded by regret!
Who knows what one feels and carries in-depth.
If one is inflicted...
Over situations experienced one can not forget.
Or can be soothed by those disbelieving or suspect.

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Forgive And Forget

Forgive and forget as I've been told
That query keeps coming to my mind
As 'I forgive' is the easiest words for one to say
But to forget, to me it seems like a crime.
To forget the evils that someone has done
Or even the evils or lies that they had spoke
To walk away as they never had accrued
As though to have a nightmare and never to awoke.
When we were young we are taught by our elders
To forgive the trespasses against us one and all
We must forget the pain and suffering that we felt
And must lock that away behind our own brick wall.
The lies and the evils that were done to us,
Even by friends and the ones who we had loved
We must then say that I forgive you one and all
And to some, that forgiveness is not even enough.

Forgive and forget those words we have heard
Even the bible does speak the same
To forgive the sins that were committed against us all
And so against no one can we ever curse or blame.
Sometimes though it seems like in this life
The wrong doers are always asking to forgive and forget
And then the moment that you smile and accept their request
They attack you, and they feel no sadness or regret.
Forgiving sometimes it is so very hard to do
And then to forget that person of their evil deeds
While trying not to remember what they have done to you
While wishing in them, you once again could believe.
Now as I think about my very own past
Of all the wrongs and evil deeds to me I must accept
I read that forgiveness is mine so said the Lord
So now I toss the evils done to me off to forgive and forget.

Randy L. McClave

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Into The Wilderness

Always there will be those,
Going out of their way as if chosen...
To inflict their wicked misdeeds upon others.
Only to arrive with feelings they discover,
Has left them to grieve wishing forgiveness.
Knowing...
Time has not come to heal their wounds.

And those who have been picked to be inflicted,
With wounds...know this.
Even attempts made trying to hide them,
Still sit not to be forgotten.
And the repeated visits with bitterness,
Sometimes may take them on long drives...
To 'trip' into the wilderness just to cry...alone.

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From a Wound Self Inflicted

How many days of sadness,
Have you sat?
With still no reception,
Of an inner peace.
Or a wish to be reprieved,
From a wound self inflicted.

You pamper it as if...
Holding onto it,
Will eventually...
Clear the air you breathe.

Who came to visit you with agony?
And you decided to keep it to host!

Who came to convince,
A draining of your happiness...
Was a duty to impose.

With a closing out of any light...
That has left you etched against a darkness,
You decided to select with a satisfaction...
You chose!

How many days of sadness,
Have you sat?
With still no reception,
Of an inner peace.
Or a wish to be reprieved,
From a wound self inflicted.

You pamper it as if...
Holding onto it,
Will eventually...
Clear the air you breathe.

And nothing but a suffocation,
Is all I witness!
All that I see...
That keeps you shadowed.

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Taunted By Fears of Loss

Taunted by fears of loss.
Inflicted to fidget and sit.
That may cost them dearly.
And set to protect,
With weapons and a mindset.
To bring upon them regret.
From actions that instill unrest,
That affects a global peace.

And once they release beliefs...
Comprehending their mortality,
Will no longer be thoughts expressed.
Nor a happiness received they get.
Since from an ignorance,
They choose to do what's best!
And that is self destruct!
For an end they view for them,
Is a must.

And the Earth prepares,
To eliminate its disrespecting inhabitants.

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Resolving A Grudge

forgive the shout
because the arm is painful
forgive the scream
because the mouth is full
forgive the sadness
it is not self-inflicted
forgive the brashness
it is not intended

the frogs croak
because the rain is falling
the crickets are hiding
because the children are coming
the children are making fun
because the river is full

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Live And Let Live

You been holding back
And I know you're afraid to feel
Some one hurt you long ago
And the wounds just did not heal
You never shed a tear
You had to keep control
So the wounds kept spreading
Until they got down in your soul
Don't you think it's time
Time to forgive
Leave the past behind
Live and let live
Been holding onto anger
Now it's got a hold on you
And bitterness keeps growing
Affecting everything you do
Time to break the chains
You could slip them off today
It's time to make some changes
Before your whole life slips away
Don't you think it's time
Time to forgive
Leave the past behind
Live and let live
Don't you think it's time
Time to forgive
Leave the past behind
Live and let live
Don't you think it's time
Time to forgive
Leave the past behind
Live and let live

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Unable To Admit It

Accept your wounds and scars?
To forgive and forget the fact,
That upon me they have been afflicted?
No love that deep will I ever have,
For anyone who believes I can be left...
With tears wept to then leave me,
Grieving over 'their' pain and anguish.

Accept your wounds and scars?
To forgive and forget the fact,
That upon me they have been afflicted?
What makes you think to you I am addicted?
What has you convinced,
A relationship with you makes sense?
I've long been healed from your abuses.

Accept your wounds and scars,
To leave imprinted on my mind when you please?
You just don't get it do you?
When I said I loved you...
Nothing in that confession shared,
Said anything about abandoning the love I have for myself.
You are the fool unable to admit it...not me!
There is nothing about you that has stayed with me to crave.

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I Forget

All my doctors and friends
Have concocted these theories
Weary of seeing me day after day
On the edge of my bed
Leery of living
My laughter on hold
My sadness on stay
And it's been this way for quite a while
Yes, I forget how to smile
I'd like to rely on my old game and yet
Even that I forget
It's not there, I regret
Couldn't get up today
I pretended a fever
Any excuse but the truth will do
I don't lie very well
No I'm not a deceiver
But I can't bring myself to admit that I'm blue
And it's been this way
For quite a while
Yes, I forget how to smile
I'd like to rely on my old game and yet
Even that I forget
It's not there, I regret
The clock and the calendar
Both an assault
Time goes so slow
It must be my fault
I act like I'm okay
When I'm not okay at all
I forget what to do
I forget what it all means
Don't remember if love ever really felt good
I forget to be here
And not in-between
I'd put on a good show
If only I could
And it's been this way for quite a while
Yes, I forget how to smile
I'd like to rely on my old game and yet
Even that I forget
It's not there, I regret
I forget

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Wounds

Wounds sustained against wounds inflicted, hurt me.
Wounds inflicted against wounds sustained, sooth me.
Hurt breeds hurt and fight continues
12.11.2004

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Live & Let Live

You been holding back
And I know youre afraid to feel
Some one hurt you long ago
And the wounds just did not heal
You never shed a tear
You had to keep control
So the wounds kept spreading
Until they got down in your soul
Dont you think its time
Time to forgive
Leave the past behind
Live and let live
Been holding onto anger
Now its got a hold on you
And bitterness keeps growing
Affecting everything you do
Time to break the chains
You could slip them off today
Its time to make some changes
Before your whole life slips away
Dont you think its time
Time to forgive
Leave the past behind
Live and let live
Dont you think its time
Time to forgive
Leave the past behind
Live and let live
Dont you think its time
Time to forgive
Leave the past behind
Live and let live

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At Least, Everybody's Happy

I want you to be happy
Because if you happy
I will be happy too

I want you to feel happy
Because if you happy
I will feel peaceful

I want your happiness
Because if you happy
I won't need anything else

I want to see you happy
Because if you happy
I will not be forced to see you grieving

I want you to know happiness 
Because if you happy
I will not disturb only by your sorrow

I want to hear that you're happy
Because if you happy
I should not listen to your unhappy story

I want you to find happiness
Because if you happy
I will not be chased by constant nightmare

I want you have a touch of happiness
Because if you happy
I could rip your ugly sad face with smile

I want to give you happiness
Because if you happy
I could take you from the darkness

I want you to taste happiness
Because if you happy
I must not swallow the bitterness

I want you realize that you have a right to be happy
Because if you happy
I won't be drowned in regret because ignorance

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Is This The Reason You've Been Distant

Should one forgive and forget,
An intentional 'slighting' done?
The kind that is directed and meant,
From a mind in pre-meditative stages.

I've gotten tired of being the one to understand.
By those who quickly accept and forget,
Before the carelessness of thought begins...
The same shhh...stuff, again!

Can you hear what I am saying?
You could at least nod your head.
And pretend I am worthy,
Of 'some' of your attention!

Should one forgive and forget,
An intentional 'slighting' done?
The kind that is directed and meant,
From a mind in pre-meditative stages?

'How do you think I should answer that?
Tell me how do you wish for me to respond?
I don't want either one of us to get upset.
Nor do I wish to say something I might regret.
How do you think I should answer that?
And what would you do and think of next? '

I've understood and given you attention.
But from you 'that' I don't get.
Whether or not I am upset.
The only thing I wish we had that I do regret,
Is communication.
And how that prolongs happiness in a relationship.

'If one is not happy why doesn't one leave? '

Like you have already done?
Is that what you are saying to me?

Are you saying,
You have long gone...
And I am told by you in third person?
Is this the reason you've been distant?
With an eagerness to dismiss yourself,
When I begin to reminisce.
And the chill I feel in the air,
Comes from a cold shoulder!
Waiting to be warmed in someone else's arms.

I should be alarmed by this.
But I am not.
You've taught me to expect,
Anything from you.

And I do.
Yes...
I do!

I have even regretted I once had said that to you too!
When it was meant,
I believed it!
Before the games began.

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There Is This Sadness That Brings......

there is this sadness that i want
to give to you
but of course, you shall not accept it

for who is foolish enough
to welcome sadness when all hopes
of our humanity are pinned
on happiness?

but there is this sadness that makes us silent
and responsible upon our own shoulders
there is this sadness that makes us
fully human, and fully alive,
there is this sadness that brings you literature
and poetry
and then all those fame and fortune that you
have been seeking
there is this sadness which has another consequence
the purification of the soul
the everlasting happiness

shall you not take it now?

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Thanks Happenstance

I sat counting up all the blackeyes
i'd ever got
All the broken bones bloody noses
from all the battles i'd ever fought
Then I looked down at the top of my hands
With all their scars and scrapes
subway system of veins
Worn out skin from washing someone else's
greasy dish pans

And I laughed 'till I cried
cried 'till I laughed
Either way its all the same
for I was neither happy nor sad
Just thankful for all I'd ever had
And even though
I've not done much with it
I'm just thankful for the chance

So thank you God, thanks Allah
Thank you Buddah
Thanks Dad and Mom
Thanks luck, thank you chance
Thanks timing
Thank you kindly happenstance
Thank you all for a shot
I thank you all
I thank you so much for the chance

I sat counting up all the broken hearts
I'd ever got
All the broken dreams unrealized things
I'd ever sought
Then with my fingertips
I gently touched my face
I could feel the lines of worry, wrinkles of time
that no potion could ever hope to erase

And I laughed 'till I cried
cried 'till I laughed
Either way its all the same
for I was neither happy nor sad
Just thankful for all I'd ever had
And even though
I've not done much with it
I'm just thankful for the chance

So thank you God, thanks Allah
Thank you Buddah
Thanks Dad and Mom
Thanks luck, thank you chance
Thanks timing
Thank you kindly happenstance
Thank you all for a shot
I thank you all
I thank you so much for the chance

I sat counting up all the bad news
i'd ever got
All the losing hands flus and colds
i'd ever caught
Then I reached down
put my hand upon my heart
And though battered tattered broken
sometimes torn apart
I was just thankful through it all
Never once did it ever just give up
and stop

And I laughed 'till I cried
cried 'till I laughed
Either way its all the same
for I was neither happy nor sad
Just thankful for all I'd ever had
And even though
I've not done much with it
I'm just so thankful for the chance

So thank you God, thanks Allah
Thank you Buddah
Thanks Dad and Mom
Thanks luck thank you chance
Thanks timing
Thank you kindly happenstance
Thank you all for a shot
I thank you all
I thank you so much for the chance

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Fundamental of Liar Chapter XVI: Destiny

you can forget the past, but it will never forget you
you can shut the present, but it will always grow with you
you can throw the future, but it will never release you
you can erase the memory, but it will never erase you
you can lock the pain, but it will always lock you
you can fool the time, but it will never fool you
you can close your heart, but it will always talk to you
you can leave the hope, but it will never leave you
you can crush the faith, but it will always build in you
you can ignore the world, but it will never ignore you
you can cry the mistake, but it will never cry for you
you can regret the life, but it will never regret you

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Objectivity

Because I had no 'things'
To display to gain your respect.
For years you disrespected me.
And taunted my efforts,
As less than best.

Today your 'things' are gone.
And you are hanging onto pretense.
I never valued the playing of charade,
In masquerade.
And now you say I cling onto a bitterness.
Because of your dismay? ? ?

I will say your 'objectivity'
Has left you crazed!
THAT I will say.

Don't you think it odd,
The attention to me you give.
I think you are riduculous.
Since the happiness I live,
Is priceless.
And you are not due a single thought.

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Forgive me

Forgive me
As I forgive thee
I know you are heart broken
But still you can forgive

I made you look smart
Without knowing you are full of hate
As the phrase says forgive and forget
If you don't do so, one day you'll regret

What goes round comes round
Remember this life is irrelevant
And you already know that
The blessings are those you receive
But still can't forgive

I know that I was wrong
Even though am very strong
But I can't show you my strength
But only to tell you the truth

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Thankfulness

I am thankful for my family
and my friends who care about me
when I am lonely or sad

I am thankful for the one I
love and when I am not happy,
it’s my family that makes me glad

I am thankful for the things
that I have and for the life
i’m living

I am thankful for a home
That I have and for the
things that I forgive

I am thankful to have a nice
family that I like and for the
things that I have done

I am thankful to have pets
that I need and the things
that I like about you

I am thankful for my dad taking
me to basketball games and the
food that I like to make

I am thankful to have a loving sister
that I fight with sometimes but
it will not be forever

I am thankful to go to school that
sometimes don’t like to go to but
it will not be for the rest of my life
I am thankful to have a
dad that doesn’t smoke
and for him having a loving wife

I am thankful to come back
to the US and for the friends
that I miss in China

I am thankful to have a lot
of friends in China and the US
and they miss me

I am thankful to be the
tallest in my family and
my parents agree

I am thankful to be
good at basketball
and I play for a team

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Too Deeply Inflicted to Forget

How can someone undo a bitterness done.
And stung to wound,
Over something assumed.

And what are the thoughts,
Does one have going through their head?
Knowing what has happened...
Will eventually bring another,
Sadness instead.

And when it is discovered a mistake was made.
No apology seems to suit,
An anger that was laid.

A reputation was ruined.
And that was done with intent.
Creating a lifetime of resentment...
That one chooses to now call,
Merely a simple accident!

Well...
Unfortunately,
Some accidents leave scars...
Too deeply inflicted to forget!

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