Could This Be Possible?
'Why have you removed your surgical mask?
And hung that portrait of Tiger Woods,
Upon the wall? '
Since he announced his transgressions...
He has cured us all,
Of the H1N1 flu virus!
There has not been any mention of it since.
And all this time,
He has been disguising himself as a golfer.
Can't you see...
He has proven himself,
To be much more than that!
He's a healer.
'You may be onto something.
In fact...
Just weeks ago,
We were close to a pandemic.
Could this be possible?
Tiger has delivered us from this disease.'
What a magical thing to have happen!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Related quotes
IT's THE GOLF BALL OR ME
TIGER TIGER IN THE WOODS
Hit the ball as U should
Ere the Golf Stick skidded
And U in the Woods ended
Tiger Tiger your fame spread far and wide
Many a wallop in joy you with your family cried
Alas your 'misses' your family dread
And many a tear dropp you dead
Tiger Tiger in the Woods the time has come
When Your Wife has given you ultimatum
It's either me or GOLF you choose
And mend your ways or both your loose
'On my terms' if U want the kids and me
Coz I love you so much honey
I am not to touch the GOLF BALL
NOT for LOVE or for MONEY....
TIGER TIGER IN THE WOODS.
poem by Intensive KS1
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Tiger, Tiger
Tiger one to tiger two
Tiger one says I love you
Tiger two does not reply
So tiger one, he starts to cry
Tiger two says why you cry?
Tiger one says 'you did not reply'
Tiger two says I need not to
Tiger one says why?
Tiger two says i love you
Tiger one says i love you too
Tiger one says why oh why?
Why didnt you reply?
Tiger two says I love you
I don't have to say it
You know its true
Now you know the reason why
Tiger two did not reply
Tiger one realises why
Tiger two did not reply
So tiger one he starts to smile
And says tiger two is very fine
For tiger two is my dearest babe
Whome I think of everyday
And tiger two I cannot wait
To see your pretty face again
Tiger in the wood
There is a tiger in the woods
With such an attitude
There is a tiger in the woods
Do not stay out there in the nude
There is a tiger in the woods
Alternating between humble and rude
There is a tiger in the woods
Looking for its prey, so pray
Soon will be injurious what was once good
Ready and steady he sets about to slay
The brave who protrude along his way
There is a tiger in the wood
Thinking about you as food
A known serial killer
Seeking a bestial thriller
There is a tiger in the wood
Whose beautiful stripes, I conclude
Put you off guard. Understood?
Such display, I call the tiger’s interlude.
Copyright 2006 - Sylvia Chidi
poem by Sylvia Chidi
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Tiger
Tiger with coat of dissimilar stripes,
When he’s angry, tiger swipes,
Tiger cautious, guarding his lair,
Danger lurking, tiger aware.
Tiger hungry so he hunts,
Facing quarry, tiger confronts.
Tiger waiting, being sly,
Undercover, no tiger espy.
Tiger detects, now he purrs,
Hunger pangs, tiger stirs.
Tiger quick, must now surprise,
Here we have one tiger, wise.
Tiger from his throat he roars,
Stretching out those tiger claws.
Tiger moving, stealthy pelt,
Expiration, by tiger dealt.
Tiger now with belly filled,
Anger passed, one tiger stilled.
Tiger sleeping, with the Pride,
Craving gone, tiger satisfied.
Tiger such a majestic sight,
Near extinction, tiger fight.
Tiger beautiful and fine,
You’re such a leonine feline.
Tiger we must have respect, ,
For your great tiger intellect.
poem by Ernestine Northover
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On The Tiger Woods Affair
In the sporting World his is the most photographed face
And in golf he is the one who does take pride of place
His marriage in trouble not an unusual case
But he is not the first male to have fallen from grace.
The man with many mistresses in his life
Tiger Woods the World's number one golfer unfaithful to his wife
But before rushing to condemn him it may be best to recall
That all humans are flawed and he's human after all.
Known throughout the World in every village, city and town
To be a marvellous golfer his claim to renown
A golfing billionaire millions his praises do sing
And that women should fall for him a natural thing.
People created their false image of him as one morally clean
But he is only human you know what I mean
When beautiful young women offer themselves to you it is hard to say no
That all humans make mistakes is something we all know.
Tiger Woods the World's number one golfer is not a public foe
And like everyone else he deserves a fair go
The marriage infidelities of many famous people by the media made known
But peoples personal lives should remain as their own.
poem by Francis Duggan
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Khrushchev reminds me of the tiger hunter who has picked a place on the wall to hang the tiger's skin long before he has caught the tiger. This tiger has other ideas.
quote by John F. Kennedy
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Tiger Woods
He is many times over a multi millionaire
And arguably the World's greatest ever golf player
The golfer most young golfers would love to emulate
The legendary sports star and a golfing great
'Tis true Tiger Woods is the golfer to beat
In every golf tournament in which he compete
For many years now the World's number one
So many golf majors the great champ has won
The golfer who has proved himself in every test
That's why by so many he is rated as the best
Professional golfer in the World of today
By millions beyond the borders of the U S of A
The World's number one golfer for many years now
Though to the father of time he eventually must bow.
poem by Francis Duggan
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Transgressions
Ode to Tiger Woods, my hero no more
I must confess
I had these transgressions on the golf course
I knew the rules going in
And I went in swinging from the heels
I putted around
Played with my balls
Even kissed them for good luck
I laid up when I should have used my driver
Now these transgressions won’t get me out of the woods (sic)
And I don’t want them publicized
That would make me look like I was playing in the rough
Every now and then I use my long iron very well
It brings an ah! from the crowd
My woody is my best friend, has got me out of many a jam
Now I feel like I’m in a sand trap
And don’t want to hit a tree with my next shot
Yes I’m sorry for of these transgressions
But I’ll just keep my scorecard in my back pocket
poem by Alfred Ramos
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I am the toughest golfer mentally.
quote by Tiger Woods
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Tiger By The Tail
What a shock it was so surprising
You looked so small and frail
I didnt know what to do
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
People said that you must be joking
You let emotions run away with you
I realized a little too late
I bit off more than I could chew
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
Sometimes you grip it right
And sometimes you fail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
At times life can be so enlightening
But it can turn on you
Lately it gets so complicated i
I dont know what the tiger will do
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
Sometimes you grip it right
And sometimes you fail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
Sometimes you grip it right
And sometimes you fail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
song performed by by Rick Springfield
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Hang Down Your Head Kelly Tilghman
This time tomorrow
Reckon where I'll be
Down in some lonesome valley
Hangin' from a white oak tree (The Kingston Trio)
Kelly thought she was being cute,
Kelly thought she had made a funny,
Golf Central would not fire her,
As she is a woman,
Not being Rush, Imus, Jimmy the Greek Snyder,
They were men.
She is of course blonde, so is Caitlin Upton,
Maybe that explains the fact,
Golf Central would not fire her.
She stated that the only way the upcoming golfer would defeat Tiger Woods,
If they would beat him up, like Tonya Harding did to Nancy Kerrigan,
Further more they should 'lynch Tiger Woods in a back alley.'
If the KKK would have been paying her I would understand,
But if, not she could have been playing bedroom course,
She could have been playing on the course where there is easy “lay” on the turf,
She was a caddy to Arnold Palmer,
She could have kissed his balls while he ventured out the first ho’,
That would make his putter stand up.
Golf Central still would not fire her.
(1-13-2008)
poem by Joe Rosochacki
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Portrait Of A Prince
Behold the tiger's face up close,
With all its deep-etched lines.
Like charcoal ridges by his nose,
How clearly each defines.
Behold the tiger's ears erect,
Aware of all that breathes,
With mental filters that select
The rustling of the leaves.
Behold the tiger's eyes that stare,
As if right through your soul,
To challenge you, be wise, beware,
Take care who's in control...
Behold the tiger's nose below,
It tells him distant facts,
Though out of sight, he's in the know,
So watch out if he acts...
Behold the tiger's tight-lipped mouth,
He hides his daggers well...
His top set north, his dropped set south,
What tales those teeth could tell.
Behold the tiger's neck so still
And poised with regal grace,
Portraying here the prince's will,
Despite the human race...
Behold the tiger's sovereign style,
His sense of who he is...
His wicked ways, his covering guile,
His final parting kiss...
Behold the tiger's treachery!
Flee from his handsome grin!
For in a race, I think you'll see,
That tigers always win!
The poem is based on the magnificent painting
by Stephen Gayford called 'Portrait Of A Prince'.
poem by Denis Martindale
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Is there a Tiger in the Woods? or 7 and counting Over Par or Green, Green, Green They Say on the Far Side of the Hill
I was about to not do an observation on the indiscretions of Tiger Woods,
After all, I was with many faults myself.
But being his pubic, uhhm, public image it warrants what people think,
Of his 'coulds', 'woulds' and 'shoulds'.
What a Thanksgiving meal the Woods' had.
After which, at 2: 30 in the Friday morning,
Tiger hit tree, not with a golf ball, but with his Cadillac Escalade.
To add insult to injury, he got into the rough by plowing into a fire hydrant.
That was only the tip of iceberg, so to speak, an continuing charade in a parade.
Tiger Woods wants to be in seclusion right now.
Impossible!
With many women claiming to be his mistresses,
-one in each 'port',
Make that 'tournament'.
The TODAY Show featured a breaking story,
about a woman from Tiger's home,
- that had to go to the hospital for the public knowledge and entertainment.
How many women did Tiger 'birdie'?
7 and counting, Prancer, Dancer, Comet and Cupid-forgive me, wrong story,
(Rachel Uchitel, Jaimee Grubbs, Kalika Moquin, Holly Sampson, Cori Rist, Mindy Lawton, and Jamie Jungers) .
According to Johnny Carson's interview with Jack Nicholas,
A prolific golfer by name,
--did Tiger encounter the same?
Jack Nicholas was being interviewed by Johnny Carson. He asked if there was anything that Mrs. Nicholas did to help her husband. 'She kisses my golf balls before every game.' And Carson answered, 'Doesn't that make your putter flutter? '
Tiger gets $100 million dollars of endorsements per year.
So much for 'skins' game with hardly a cheer.
One should be on the 'fairway' in his or her mind.
Not a sand trap, or in the water, he had appeared to be near-sighted, almost blind.
So much for the Merry Christmas in the Woods' household.
Tiger is going to get coal in his stocking is what I'm told.
12-8-09
poem by Joe Rosochacki
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Eye of the Tiger
Tiger, Tiger burning bright
hunts his prey by neon light
Real or bleached, you know the kind
big up front with a sweet behind..
Tiger, tiger, none too bright
Left his cell phone in plain sight
When Elin saw his contact list
She grabbed his driver in her fist.
Four hundred yards straight off the tee
Tiger drives that easily
But when his little wife went clubbing
His face and lawn both took a drubbing
Tiger Tiger burning bright
Doesn’t like the bright spotlight
Yet on his off days he’d resort
To pros who play a different sport
Tiger Tiger made a tape
of Tiger 'eagaling' his date
It came into the hands of 'Vivid'
If they release it he'll be Livid
Tiger, tiger lost Gillette
And Gatorade sent their regrets
Now he’s hawking Trojan’s Wares
and lady Clairol for Blonde hair.
poem by John F. McCullagh
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Cub to Rug
Ragging cub,
rugged tiger.
Tiger raging,
tiger ageing, -
trigger gauging.
Tiger rug,
Ragged rug.
poem by Jonathan Robin
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Tiger Eye
Tiger Eye Tiger Eye
Tiger Eye is here to spy
Oh Tiger Eye who's here to spy
My darling Tiger Eye I look in your eyes
Oh Tiger Eye you are like magic
Yes dear Tiger Eye
I believe when I look in your eyes
You give me hope
You give me strength
Oh dear Tiger Eye
Tiger Eye Tiger Eye
Tiger Eye is here to spy
Oh Tiger Eye who's here to spy
My darling Tiger Eye I look in your eyes
Oh Tiger Eye you have a spell
Yes dear Tiger Eye
A spell you cast when I look in your eyes
You give me hope
You give me strength
Oh dear Tiger Eye
poem by Camilla Fodgaard
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Blood Brothers
The tiger
(it was my tiger)
sat beside me
on the bus
& despite the quque
we had got on first.
We had gone
ice skating
& the tiger proved to be
quite adept.
I...I...fell on my bum
to be laughed at by some
he growled and they
shut de ****up!
We went and saw
the latest Pedro Almodóvar
and the tiger
laughed & wept
we sat through it
...twice.
The tiger thought
Penelope Cruz was nice.
I liked my popcorn sweet...
...the liked his salty.
Later we chatted
between urinals
as the tiger
went & went.
I washed my hands...he washed his paws.
The tiger
using the hairdryer
like Madonna
in DESPERATELY SEEKING SUSAN.
He said he fancied
'A little Japanese! '
'Me too! ' I agreed.
He went home
on the next night bus
from Tottenham Court Road.
It was only then
I wondered
if all adults
had such
imaginary friends.
poem by Dónall Dempsey
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Saintly Tiger
here comes tiger
he has reached old age
he says i have lost my brave image
i am subject of laughter even of cage
suddenly an idea striked him i will catch animals by becoming sage
soon this surprise came to animals rise
everybody used to visit tiger
he used to eat them and say
your brain is like brick
you cannot understand my trick
once fox came to knew this news
fox said tiger may be timid
but my brain is double speed
he went to tiger cave
i am new tiger and i will fight you and make your grave
challenge from other tiger was rare the sage was scared
fox trickery made dissapear the tiger's timid bravery
poem by Rohan Bendre
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Tiger is not there
And where is the tiger
That remained silent so long
With crow's flying
With cuckoo's crying.
And where is the tiger
No time to search
No time to research
And I realized for which
I came and for what I am here
And to where I am going
Without the tiger that was
With me since the time of fore fathers.
poem by Gajanan Mishra
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The Huntress
Oh the tantalizing tiger
You make me feel on fire
Why must you be so pretty and aloof
The huntress is just a big goof
The tiger is caught by another
Another, better suited I presume
To capture the tiger and keep as her own
And yet the huntress feels the tiger’s groan
How can it still be, that in the wild there could be
An attraction, to shoot down the prey
In mid-stride, the tiger taunts the huntress
The huntress stares yet shows not the emotion
The want, the craving of the tiger’s gaze
To catch a vibe would be all she would need
Yet, the huntress knows there will be defeat
The tigress triumphs and trumps them all
The heart of her tiger is stronger than the fall
It’s not for one to know nor assume
Yet obsession seems to loom
Like the freak, the huntress merely stumbles.
Falling and hitting hard she’s now humbled.
poem by Jessica Thomas
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