Is there a Tiger in the Woods? or 7 and counting Over Par or Green, Green, Green They Say on the Far Side of the Hill
I was about to not do an observation on the indiscretions of Tiger Woods,
After all, I was with many faults myself.
But being his pubic, uhhm, public image it warrants what people think,
Of his 'coulds', 'woulds' and 'shoulds'.
What a Thanksgiving meal the Woods' had.
After which, at 2: 30 in the Friday morning,
Tiger hit tree, not with a golf ball, but with his Cadillac Escalade.
To add insult to injury, he got into the rough by plowing into a fire hydrant.
That was only the tip of iceberg, so to speak, an continuing charade in a parade.
Tiger Woods wants to be in seclusion right now.
Impossible!
With many women claiming to be his mistresses,
-one in each 'port',
Make that 'tournament'.
The TODAY Show featured a breaking story,
about a woman from Tiger's home,
- that had to go to the hospital for the public knowledge and entertainment.
How many women did Tiger 'birdie'?
7 and counting, Prancer, Dancer, Comet and Cupid-forgive me, wrong story,
(Rachel Uchitel, Jaimee Grubbs, Kalika Moquin, Holly Sampson, Cori Rist, Mindy Lawton, and Jamie Jungers) .
According to Johnny Carson's interview with Jack Nicholas,
A prolific golfer by name,
--did Tiger encounter the same?
Jack Nicholas was being interviewed by Johnny Carson. He asked if there was anything that Mrs. Nicholas did to help her husband. 'She kisses my golf balls before every game.' And Carson answered, 'Doesn't that make your putter flutter? '
Tiger gets $100 million dollars of endorsements per year.
So much for 'skins' game with hardly a cheer.
One should be on the 'fairway' in his or her mind.
Not a sand trap, or in the water, he had appeared to be near-sighted, almost blind.
So much for the Merry Christmas in the Woods' household.
Tiger is going to get coal in his stocking is what I'm told.
12-8-09
poem by Joe Rosochacki
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
IT's THE GOLF BALL OR ME
TIGER TIGER IN THE WOODS
Hit the ball as U should
Ere the Golf Stick skidded
And U in the Woods ended
Tiger Tiger your fame spread far and wide
Many a wallop in joy you with your family cried
Alas your 'misses' your family dread
And many a tear dropp you dead
Tiger Tiger in the Woods the time has come
When Your Wife has given you ultimatum
It's either me or GOLF you choose
And mend your ways or both your loose
'On my terms' if U want the kids and me
Coz I love you so much honey
I am not to touch the GOLF BALL
NOT for LOVE or for MONEY....
TIGER TIGER IN THE WOODS.
poem by Intensive KS1
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Tiger, Tiger
Tiger one to tiger two
Tiger one says I love you
Tiger two does not reply
So tiger one, he starts to cry
Tiger two says why you cry?
Tiger one says 'you did not reply'
Tiger two says I need not to
Tiger one says why?
Tiger two says i love you
Tiger one says i love you too
Tiger one says why oh why?
Why didnt you reply?
Tiger two says I love you
I don't have to say it
You know its true
Now you know the reason why
Tiger two did not reply
Tiger one realises why
Tiger two did not reply
So tiger one he starts to smile
And says tiger two is very fine
For tiger two is my dearest babe
Whome I think of everyday
And tiger two I cannot wait
To see your pretty face again
Tiger in the wood
There is a tiger in the woods
With such an attitude
There is a tiger in the woods
Do not stay out there in the nude
There is a tiger in the woods
Alternating between humble and rude
There is a tiger in the woods
Looking for its prey, so pray
Soon will be injurious what was once good
Ready and steady he sets about to slay
The brave who protrude along his way
There is a tiger in the wood
Thinking about you as food
A known serial killer
Seeking a bestial thriller
There is a tiger in the wood
Whose beautiful stripes, I conclude
Put you off guard. Understood?
Such display, I call the tiger’s interlude.
Copyright 2006 - Sylvia Chidi
poem by Sylvia Chidi
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Tiger
Tiger with coat of dissimilar stripes,
When he’s angry, tiger swipes,
Tiger cautious, guarding his lair,
Danger lurking, tiger aware.
Tiger hungry so he hunts,
Facing quarry, tiger confronts.
Tiger waiting, being sly,
Undercover, no tiger espy.
Tiger detects, now he purrs,
Hunger pangs, tiger stirs.
Tiger quick, must now surprise,
Here we have one tiger, wise.
Tiger from his throat he roars,
Stretching out those tiger claws.
Tiger moving, stealthy pelt,
Expiration, by tiger dealt.
Tiger now with belly filled,
Anger passed, one tiger stilled.
Tiger sleeping, with the Pride,
Craving gone, tiger satisfied.
Tiger such a majestic sight,
Near extinction, tiger fight.
Tiger beautiful and fine,
You’re such a leonine feline.
Tiger we must have respect, ,
For your great tiger intellect.
poem by Ernestine Northover
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Ariel Tiger Woods Play Off
Tiger Woods golf superstar, sex scandal entrepreneur
boasts as winner, of 14 major, golf championships
dominant golf superstar, and sex scandal entrepreneur
allegedly has,14 women, mistress confessionals
but rocker rookie Peterpan, is a less discrete man
boasting to have stroked, more birdies in the hand
his reputation surpasses, Tiger Woods for mistresses
his video proofs run reckless, regardless of consequences
Ariel Peterpan boasts,25 videos, with Indonesian female celebrities
surpassing Tiger Woods, by conquering a harem, of 25 celebrities
Luna Maya and Cut Tari, among videoed conquered, concubine cream
how many women, did Ariel Peterpan not record, falling on his sword?
poem by Terence George Craddock
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Hang Down Your Head Kelly Tilghman
This time tomorrow
Reckon where I'll be
Down in some lonesome valley
Hangin' from a white oak tree (The Kingston Trio)
Kelly thought she was being cute,
Kelly thought she had made a funny,
Golf Central would not fire her,
As she is a woman,
Not being Rush, Imus, Jimmy the Greek Snyder,
They were men.
She is of course blonde, so is Caitlin Upton,
Maybe that explains the fact,
Golf Central would not fire her.
She stated that the only way the upcoming golfer would defeat Tiger Woods,
If they would beat him up, like Tonya Harding did to Nancy Kerrigan,
Further more they should 'lynch Tiger Woods in a back alley.'
If the KKK would have been paying her I would understand,
But if, not she could have been playing bedroom course,
She could have been playing on the course where there is easy “lay” on the turf,
She was a caddy to Arnold Palmer,
She could have kissed his balls while he ventured out the first ho’,
That would make his putter stand up.
Golf Central still would not fire her.
(1-13-2008)
poem by Joe Rosochacki
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Tiger By The Tail
What a shock it was so surprising
You looked so small and frail
I didnt know what to do
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
People said that you must be joking
You let emotions run away with you
I realized a little too late
I bit off more than I could chew
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
Sometimes you grip it right
And sometimes you fail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
At times life can be so enlightening
But it can turn on you
Lately it gets so complicated i
I dont know what the tiger will do
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
Sometimes you grip it right
And sometimes you fail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
Sometimes you grip it right
And sometimes you fail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
song performed by by Rick Springfield
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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On The Tiger Woods Affair
In the sporting World his is the most photographed face
And in golf he is the one who does take pride of place
His marriage in trouble not an unusual case
But he is not the first male to have fallen from grace.
The man with many mistresses in his life
Tiger Woods the World's number one golfer unfaithful to his wife
But before rushing to condemn him it may be best to recall
That all humans are flawed and he's human after all.
Known throughout the World in every village, city and town
To be a marvellous golfer his claim to renown
A golfing billionaire millions his praises do sing
And that women should fall for him a natural thing.
People created their false image of him as one morally clean
But he is only human you know what I mean
When beautiful young women offer themselves to you it is hard to say no
That all humans make mistakes is something we all know.
Tiger Woods the World's number one golfer is not a public foe
And like everyone else he deserves a fair go
The marriage infidelities of many famous people by the media made known
But peoples personal lives should remain as their own.
poem by Francis Duggan
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Eye of the Tiger
Tiger, Tiger burning bright
hunts his prey by neon light
Real or bleached, you know the kind
big up front with a sweet behind..
Tiger, tiger, none too bright
Left his cell phone in plain sight
When Elin saw his contact list
She grabbed his driver in her fist.
Four hundred yards straight off the tee
Tiger drives that easily
But when his little wife went clubbing
His face and lawn both took a drubbing
Tiger Tiger burning bright
Doesn’t like the bright spotlight
Yet on his off days he’d resort
To pros who play a different sport
Tiger Tiger made a tape
of Tiger 'eagaling' his date
It came into the hands of 'Vivid'
If they release it he'll be Livid
Tiger, tiger lost Gillette
And Gatorade sent their regrets
Now he’s hawking Trojan’s Wares
and lady Clairol for Blonde hair.
poem by John F. McCullagh
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Saintly Tiger
here comes tiger
he has reached old age
he says i have lost my brave image
i am subject of laughter even of cage
suddenly an idea striked him i will catch animals by becoming sage
soon this surprise came to animals rise
everybody used to visit tiger
he used to eat them and say
your brain is like brick
you cannot understand my trick
once fox came to knew this news
fox said tiger may be timid
but my brain is double speed
he went to tiger cave
i am new tiger and i will fight you and make your grave
challenge from other tiger was rare the sage was scared
fox trickery made dissapear the tiger's timid bravery
poem by Rohan Bendre
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040810i First Day In Augusta
fred is just awesome on green
phil, ye. kj lee, did the same
tiger is double eagle on fives
almost three; miss by a lip
tom is golf wonder at sixty plus
who'll win that remains to be seen
weather so generous to hitters
soft breeze to leaded clouds
fairway is immaculate; green
is exemplary beautiful; gallery
are very nice; trees are great
very warm welcome to tiger
***
fred couples
tom watson
phil mickelson
lee westwood
k.j. choi
y.e. yang
tiger woods
...none of the above would
win it just a hunch.
poem by Manonton Dalan
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Chinese New Year (Tiger Year Living Tiger Life)
When a tiger kills a man
it is called ferocity
without any mercy.
When a man kills a tiger
it is called hunting
in which he takes pride and boasting.
For Chinese people, tiger symbolises luck.
Right! the tiger products bring a big buck.
Chinese people think the tiger year will prosper.
But the tigers will have more suffer.
The number of tiger is dwindling,
they are near extinction.
Leave the Tigers alone in the Wood,
so that they can have many tigresses in good mood.
Cub to Rug
Ragging cub,
rugged tiger.
Tiger raging,
tiger ageing, -
trigger gauging.
Tiger rug,
Ragged rug.
poem by Jonathan Robin
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The Huntress
Oh the tantalizing tiger
You make me feel on fire
Why must you be so pretty and aloof
The huntress is just a big goof
The tiger is caught by another
Another, better suited I presume
To capture the tiger and keep as her own
And yet the huntress feels the tiger’s groan
How can it still be, that in the wild there could be
An attraction, to shoot down the prey
In mid-stride, the tiger taunts the huntress
The huntress stares yet shows not the emotion
The want, the craving of the tiger’s gaze
To catch a vibe would be all she would need
Yet, the huntress knows there will be defeat
The tigress triumphs and trumps them all
The heart of her tiger is stronger than the fall
It’s not for one to know nor assume
Yet obsession seems to loom
Like the freak, the huntress merely stumbles.
Falling and hitting hard she’s now humbled.
poem by Jessica Thomas
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Khrushchev reminds me of the tiger hunter who has picked a place on the wall to hang the tiger's skin long before he has caught the tiger. This tiger has other ideas.
quote by John F. Kennedy
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Blood Brothers
The tiger
(it was my tiger)
sat beside me
on the bus
& despite the quque
we had got on first.
We had gone
ice skating
& the tiger proved to be
quite adept.
I...I...fell on my bum
to be laughed at by some
he growled and they
shut de ****up!
We went and saw
the latest Pedro Almodóvar
and the tiger
laughed & wept
we sat through it
...twice.
The tiger thought
Penelope Cruz was nice.
I liked my popcorn sweet...
...the liked his salty.
Later we chatted
between urinals
as the tiger
went & went.
I washed my hands...he washed his paws.
The tiger
using the hairdryer
like Madonna
in DESPERATELY SEEKING SUSAN.
He said he fancied
'A little Japanese! '
'Me too! ' I agreed.
He went home
on the next night bus
from Tottenham Court Road.
It was only then
I wondered
if all adults
had such
imaginary friends.
poem by Dónall Dempsey
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Tiger
The city is a jungle, you better take care
Never walk alone after midnight
If you dont believe it you better beware
Of me
I am behind you, Ill always find you, I am the tiger
People who fear me never go near me, I am the tiger
The city is a nightmare, a horrible dream
Some of us will dream it forever
Look around the corner and try not to scream
Its me
I am behind you, Ill always find you, I am the tiger
People who fear me never go near me, I am the tiger
Yellow eyes are glowing like the neon lights
Yellow eyes, the spotlights of the city nights
I am behind you, Ill always find you, I am the tiger
People who fear me never go near me, I am the tiger
The city is a prison, you never escape
Youre forever trapped in the alleys
Look into the shadows and youll see the shape
Of me
I am behind you, Ill always find you, I am the tiger
People who fear me never go near me, I am the tiger
Yellow eyes are glowing like the neon lights
Yellow eyes, the spotlights of the city nights
I am behind you, Ill always find you, I am the tiger
People who fear me never go near me, I am the tiger
And if I meet you, what if I eat you, I am the tiger
I am behind you, Ill always find you, I am the tiger
Tiger, tiger, tiger!
song performed by by ABBA
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Tiger Eye
Tiger Eye Tiger Eye
Tiger Eye is here to spy
Oh Tiger Eye who's here to spy
My darling Tiger Eye I look in your eyes
Oh Tiger Eye you are like magic
Yes dear Tiger Eye
I believe when I look in your eyes
You give me hope
You give me strength
Oh dear Tiger Eye
Tiger Eye Tiger Eye
Tiger Eye is here to spy
Oh Tiger Eye who's here to spy
My darling Tiger Eye I look in your eyes
Oh Tiger Eye you have a spell
Yes dear Tiger Eye
A spell you cast when I look in your eyes
You give me hope
You give me strength
Oh dear Tiger Eye
poem by Camilla Fodgaard
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Tiger Woods
Tiger Woods
rarely hits a ball
into the woods
as he continues to
break down racist stereotypes in Japan,
the Augusta Masters
and everywhere else he goes.
Now, Tiger, please stand
up for the right of women golfers
to play everywhere.
*********
(The Augusta Masters did not
invite black players til 1975,
nor allow blacks into the country club
til 1990. The Masters still
does not allow women to play.)
poem by O. Anna Niemus
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Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
What a dragon is Tibet?
Spirituality raises its trees
from the soil fertile.
Its culture emits breezes
from the north and the south
Then the tiger came
and hunted the dragon.
The tiger who had been
cut into pieces by hunters earlier.
The tiger came.
The tiger bit the tree
that connected heaven and earth.
The tree shakes.
The tree falls into the water
Splash!
The chlidren of gods missed
their school on earth.
The chlidren of earth missed
their school in heaven.
They cried.
The peaceful dragon is angry
It would take a form one day
which would make the tiger
tremble with fear.
The Chinese tiger will tremble with fear.
poem by Denvor fernandez
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