Acting As If Having An Intelligence

It took me awhile,
To understand those...
Who saw life in denial.
But as I thought about them...
And being mentally conditioned myself,
To accept limitations...
With an acting as if having an intelligence,
Would actually offend others?
I completely understand now,
Why so many accept staying ignorant.

Trying to impress with a thought process offends.
You see...
This is what I've come to understand,
Life becomes less challenging...
When those 'known' to be ignorant,
Are not held accountable for their actions.
And those who are labelled 'intelligent'...
Are expected to be responsible AND accountable,
For 'everything' those who choose to see life in denial...
With the doing of the most 'stupidest' things to be excused.

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Held Accountable

We all are held accountable
On the things we do in our life
From the deeds we do, and the words we say
And from the actions that we leave behind.
As our paths they cannot be forgotten
Nor the walks or the steps we have taken
And the things we done or felt or said
They will become the future that we have been making.
As a rock that is tossed into the ocean
And as it hits upon it’s surface
The ripple effect for that rock has began
Then later we will see its effect and its purpose.
And we too are all held accountable
As that is the way that it should be,
From the things we done and the words we said
As that will become part of our history.

We all are held accountable
For our endeavors that became our past
And should we not also be made to stand up and own
All our actions and deeds that formed and shaped our life.
We must stand up and accept our past
As that is the way that it truly should be
So we can't run or even hide away
Like life, that is our destiny.
As one day we all will be held accountable
From the deeds and actions that we have done
So we must be prepared to accept them all
As like from death, from it we cannot run.
So watch the steps that you do take
And think closely on the path you do choose
As that will be the destiny you chose for yourself
And one day it will come back to visit you.

Randy L. McClave

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In' Sane

Shouldn't there be a joy and satisfaction
One gets
For being declared 'in' sane?
After all,
Those that are 'out' of it,
Aren't 'in' it at all!
And those who choose just to be 'sane'...
Should they be suspect?
Things aren't as crazy as they are
Because they've spent time in their minds!
Now...
I can accept those labelled
To be 'out-of-their-minds'!
It makes it more official.
And at least they can be held accountable.
The ones still undeclared are the most baffling!
They disguise themselves,
With titles deemed 'professional'.
And they are the ones responsible...
For all of the 'professional' havoc,
That we have been experiencing for decades!

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How I Approach My Life

I am often reminded,
How the direction of my writing...
Has changed over the years.
And for the life of me,
I can not understand it.

I've done the best I could,
To keep my outlook elementary.
And perhaps it has been my evolving,
Since high school...
That my thought process and experiences,
I had since then...
That I should attribute to my maturity.
What a dilemma!

However...
God knows I am doing the best I can,
Not to be so observant and intelligent...
As to how I approach my life.
But I do keep my fingers crossed,
That my growth process is not that noticeable...
To those choosing to remain in denial,
And become offended by my adult revelations.

Hey,
Who knows?
Maybe I'm just one of those people,
Who refuse to stay limited to perceived expectations.
You know...
Rebellious, arrogant, self confident, honest and forthright!
And...
65 years old.
One would think I should know my place by now?
Huh?

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This president has been reluctant to hold anybody accountable. No one was held accountable after September the 11th. Nobody's been held accountable after the clear flaws in intelligence leading up to the war in Iraq.

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So Difficult It Becomes Not To Diminsh Life

A mind that compares but is not there,
To evaluate or self examine...
Can not be held accountable,
For a thought process...
Those conscious expect and take for granted.

And those who are conscious,
Have discovered too few prepared...
With an awareness that has awakened,
To appreciate the benefit and value...
Of that which they have as a gift to nourish,
The broadening concept of comprehension.

A mind that compares but is not there,
To evaluate or self examine...
Can not be held accountable,
For a thought process...
Those conscious expect and take for granted.

With the shining of bling and other things,
Bringing into the mix the teasing of temptation...
So difficult it becomes not to diminsh life,
As an opportunity to feed our selfish whims.
With a dismissing of others,
Who do not join in with the fleecing...
Of a weakened and dieing golden lamb.

'It is not a dead horse.
No need to beat it.'

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Through An Osmosisness

Unconscious assimilation,
To seduce one into conversation?
Perhaps.
But there are some with realities,
Who are distorted by facts.
And few comprehend that,
When they allow...
The comfort of their delusions,
To sit back and relax.

I have earned the right to express my identity,
With much flair if I dared.
From dawn 'til noon until midnight.
And doing it aware that I have not a care.

And if anyone expresses I do this and declare,
My arrogance to be unbearable.
And a dignity I pride...
Begins to choke with a coolness I carry.
As if I owned the air!

So be it!
If I flaunt a bit of obnoxiousness.
I've earned all of it.
The identity I pride with the dignity I don't hide.

I am not here to defend every step I've taken.
Nor those experiences life to me has personally given.

'Oh!
I can understand how you feel! '

Is that right?
What part of my life have you lived that delights?
And what hour of which day...
Have you said to yourself,
'Ignore what others say.
Keep your faith it will be okay! '

'Well...
I don't have to go through that process,
To understand what others go through! '

Hmmm.
I see.
So you're one of those folks who live vicariously?
Through an osmosisness done.
And challenging all obstacles that come?

'Well...
I don't have to go through that process,
To understand what others go through! '

Hmmm.
I see.
So you're one of those folks who live vicariously?
Through an osmosisness done.
And challenging all obstacles that come?

'Well,
I don't have to...
Forget it.'

That just expressed,
I can understand and accept.
As from you confessed.
There is no need to further address,
Your comprehension to suggest.

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They don't understand

They don't understand,
What its like to be me.
They don't understand,
Why school is hard for me.
They don't understand,
Why I'm so skinny.
They don't understand,
Why I have no friends.

They don't understand,
What I need.
They don't understand,
Why I lie.
They don't understand,
Why life is hard.
They don't understand,
What life is like for me.
They don't understand,
Why I hurt.
They don't understand,
Why I have fears.
They don't understand,
Why I'm different.

I don't understand,
Why they don't like me.
I don't understand,
Why they don't except me.
I don't understand,
What they say.
I don't understand,
Why they don't undersatnd,
Me...

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Raised To Be Independent

I did not understand it then,
But I was in good hands...
When I was raised to be independent.
And learning at an early age,
What it takes to accept in life...
About those things I had to do,
And did not like!

I did not understand it then,
The taking on of responsibilities...
That seem to have no end.
The crying alone inside,
And not showing not a tear outside.
For fear an assessment of it,
Would earn another name to be called.

I did not understand it then,
How to be patient with an ignorance displayed...
At my expense.
Or...
An unconscious ignorance everyone pays,
For the dispense of it!

I did not understand it then,
But I was in good hands...
When I was raised to be independent.
And learning at an early age,
What it takes to accept about my life...
And those things I had to do,
But did not like!

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Needing Details And Specifics

Please don't say you understand,
Because you couldn't.
And I know you don't.

Please don't say you've got my back,
When most of the time...
I don't know where you are at.

When I decided to heal and cure,
From my own hidden agonies...
Knowing they were mine alone,
It was as if folks I had not seen...
Most of my life,
Appeared from nowhere wanting to assist.
I felt something very wrong with this.
And I could not imagine how.
Or why 'now'?

I felt preyed upon by those ready to leech.
Those who saw me again healthy.
And wanted to see,
How quickly they could weaken me.
I don't have to hear people are evil.
Countless are my personal experiences.

When I decided to heal and cure,
From my own hidden agonies...
Nowhere in between my decision to do that,
And my healing process...
Were you seen.
Why didn't you return my calls?
AND you say you understand?

Please don't say you understand,
Because you couldn't.
And I know you don't.

Please don't say you've got my back,
When most of the time...
I don't know where you are at.

And please don't ask what it is you can do for me.
When the only thing I know you can do,
Since you have proven you can do this well...
You are not dependable or accountable for your actions.
And when you are available...
You have said to me you had nothing else to do!
And if I may...
I am going to 'assume' you have nothing else to do?

Well...
I have many things to do.
And one of them is not going to be accessible,
To people like you skilled in playing the role of deceiver.
I've seen that performance too much with a waste of my time.

Please don't say you understand,
Because you couldn't.
And I know you don't.

Please don't say you've got my back,
When most of the time...
I don't know where you are at.
But this is guaranteed?
I know you will not be here and around me.
And THAT I hope is understood,
Without you needing details and specifics.

Please don't say you understand,
Because you couldn't.
And I know you don't.
So never say it again.

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Too Boundless Is The Universe

Too boundless without a sighted barrier,
Is the universe.
And you expect me to accept,
In agreement...
Your limitations?
I do.
I accept 'your' limitations.

But understand this,
If you can.
Those limits are yours.
However...
Within them,
Do not come looking for me.
I am not seeking to please your comforts.

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What About My Image?

But you've graduated from high school.
Why is it that you desire to go back?

'I felt safe in those days.
It was easy for me not to be accountable,
For anything.
And when I blamed someone else for something I did...
At least I could hide my deceit and was believed.
But today...
People are trying to make me responsible,
For my own actions.
And...
I have 'never' done that before!
I'm not use to having fingers pointed at me.'

Well...
You know eventually that is going to happen.

'I know.
I can't even blame 'them' for anything anymore.'

Just be prepared to fix everything you've done.

'Are you kidding?
Be responsible for my own actions?
Be accountable and admit my faults?
But...but...
What about my image? '

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What It Takes to Lead

Can one completely lost of wit,
Be held accountable...
For not having an independent thought,
At all.

Everyone born...
Isn't always guaranteed,
Common sense.
And those ignorantly involved in 'their' nonsense,
Have not a clue they are not well.
Even a barrage of thrown hints,
Would go left unaddressed.
Those folks are focused on their greed.
With a twisted ego to keep them fixed.

Can one completely lost of wit,
Be held accountable...
For not having an independent thought,
At all.

'Good question.
I can't answer it.

The next one plays basketball.
And his wife takes no nonsense.
I think we all are in for quite a surprise.
These new folks are totally awake!
And they know what it takes to lead! '

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I'm glad that you understand

I'm glad that you understand my situation
'Cause that idea was an aberration
It gives me no mental satisfaction.
To do this I don't feel any elation.

That person needs a little adulation
And I definitely accept my resignation,
When writing words without any sensation
Means there is no implication.

I can ignore that and try to be successful,
But I cannot be forever disrespectful,
'Cause all my life I tried to live so careful,
I want my acts to be completely misdoubtful.

I understand that your life is truthful
And your feelings are very trustful,
Your lines are not at all unskillful,
Your feelings make me completely blissful.

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Staying Power

Being an 'absentee' anything these days,
Is easier to do and accept...
Than to argue with those,
Awakening with accountable attitudes confessed.
As they attempt to hold others responsible for their neglect.
With a demanding to have them verify...
Proof of their involvement,
Long before maturity became a fashionable thing to do.
And be.

An aging process faced upon them descends.
With a guilt riding within them,
To show a doing of 'something' beneficial that validates.
Other than entertaining their time away,
Addressing themselves in social circles to impress.

And today...
Comparing substance and what is valued?
Those ideals portrayed from a vanishing yeaterday,
Has had little staying power to immulate a significance...
To leave as something achieved as concrete and specifically done.

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Can Anybody Understand?

can anybody understand?
my struggles i have,
to live in this life,
and hardly getting by,
can anybody understand?
that i wake up,
wondering if it was
all a dream,
can anybody understand?
all i ask for is to be me,
who that is,
i don't really know,
deep down,
a girl is trapped,
bagging to get out,
of this life she was given,
does anybody hear,
the cry for help,
or the pain she feels,
when she lay in bed at night,
just wishing that on day,
it'll all be gone.
will anybody understand?
that behind a strong person,
there is stubborness,
that hides inside,
because the things that are buried,
that might make them seem weak,
will anybody understand?
that all she wants is to be happy,
rather than life just being unfair.
Copyright © 2009
3-12-09

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I Thought I Held You

You're like a moon that's full,
Across a sea of foam
I'm the sky you've been burning
I don't think you even understand
I thought I held you by the hand
I thought I held you
I'm like a songwriter;
You're the reason I've run out,
Run out of metaphors
I don't think you even understand
I thought I held you by the hand
I thought I held you
I thought I held you

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I Understand

I understand your problem
I understand the reason for your tears
I understand what you went through
don't cry because i'm here

I'm here to catch you when you are falling
I'm here to wipe your tears
Be strong
don't let you mistakes lead you
stand and fight for yourself
don't let go
hold on still
i understand how it hurt
i understand how it feels like
get back on your feet
when stumble and fall
i understand
i understand
oh i understand your pain
i understand you went through a lot in life
but remember
be strong, and never give up
I understand

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Mankind

We humans are limited in too many ways.
Some things are beyond our reach.
Luck provides for some of us
but just like the sands on a beach
most of us are washed over
like the foam and windswept sprays.

Life seems a struggle much of the time
as we are bombarded every day.
Money problems, sickness and pain
are the price most will pay
in this place we call home,
which harbors our arduous climb.

We arrive free-spirited one by one
and believe we have a fair chance.
But as we are busy living our lives
most of us never learn to dance.
The mundane chores become our bane
and never come undone.

We take it on the chin and become resigned
to 'that's just how it is.'
We accept the fact that life's unfair
and want what's hers or his.
In the end we accept our limitations
and never understand mankind.

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Keeping Alive Lives Lived to Fantasize

How can someone who claims to have faith,
Be quick to express fear?
I'm not understanding that at all.
Nothing about that makes it clear.
Or someone who has insecurities...
Expressing they choose not to comprehend,
Anything...
That will bring a clarity to them.

I don't understand those at all,
Who deny reality.
To say to others within listening distance...
What they see they can not believe.
But deceit they accept,
Without questioning its existence to reject.
And delude themselves they do...
With a resistance to accept the truth.

And everyone wonders why...
A quality of life,
Continues to ride on a downslide.
While keeping alive lives lived...
With wishes to remain completely fantasized!

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Leave the holy parables and answer my question

If could ask God
why I am facing adversity the whole time,
at times have to bare a cross
while my oppressors
are triumphant as if
they are not accountable
and are totally sinless,

I would not be able to lay the cause
against the heaven
and it troubles me
why God is allowing it
or has it been decided in His decisions of fate?

Still by myself
I find no answers
and this is no reproach
and maybe I will wonder
until death silences my mouth
and here I am not challenging God
but only want to understand my life and existence better.

[Reference: Laß die heil’gen Parabolen by Heinrich Heine.]

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