The Pub or the Gym?
The Olympics is on it's way to the U.K.
but I remember the last one in Bejing
it caused lots and lots of couch potatoes
to take up Running, Swimming, and Cycling.
But that's what the Olympics can do
it can make you go suddenly to the Gym
go running for hours on the treadmill
lift heavy weights and go for a swim.
The unfit bought tracksuits and trainers
stopped smoking and going to the pub
they became regulars at Holland and Barrets
and spent a fortune at their local Health Club.
But alas all those years lying on the sofa
hadn't helped to strengthen the back
so that noise you heard whilst pumping iron
that was someone's Spine going crack.
But the novelty finally wore off
as the Gym became a living nightmare
so it was goodbye to circuit training
and hello again to the local The Dog and Hare.
So a word of warning to all you couch potatoes
watch out as the Olympics may get you off your settee
so I'd advice those who are out of condition
just lie there and watch it all on your T.V.!
poem by Kevin Halls
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Related quotes
The Olympics are coming... and it's a big problem in American politics, because the problem with holding the Olympics this fall is that we're all going to be focused on the Olympics, and it makes that window of opportunity for Gore to win the election that much smaller.
quote by Susan Estrich
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Ringing The Bell: The Olypics
You still have fire.
I also have my fire.
we can take both, one's
own, or one unique fire and go
to race in the Olympics;
or we can leave some fire for the next winter
Olympics;
so we can both
sprint run,
wrestle,
do all the gym acrobats,
sand volleyball,
free four hundreds swimming, and
ski under the heavy blue sky.
So, do you have
enough
fire?
or do you need
to barrow some of my fire?
poem by Atef Ayadi
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They want the Olympics. We ought to make sure they don't get the Olympics.
quote by George Nethercutt
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I have to consider my greatest accomplishments winning the Olympics because everything that I've done after that is really because of the Olympics.
quote by Brian Boitano
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I started in law school in '71 and graduated in '74. So I was training for the Olympics, running or averaging around 20 miles a day and going to law school full time.
quote by Frank Shorter
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Gas
my grandmother had a serious gas
problem.
we only saw her on Sunday.
she'd sit down to dinner
and she'd have gas.
she was very heavy,
80 years old.
wore this large glass brooch,
that's what you noticed most
in addition to the gas.
she'd let it go just as food was being served.
she'd let it go in bursts
spaced about a minute apart.
she'd let it go
4 or 5 times
as we reached for the potatoes
poured the gravy
cut into the meat.
nobody ever said anything,
especially me.
I was 6 years old.
only my grandmother spoke.
after 4 or 5 blasts
she would say in an offhand way,
'I'll bury you all!'
I didn't much like that:
first farting
then saying that.
it happened every Sunday.
she was my father's mother.
every Sunday it was death and gas
and mashed potatoes and gravy
and that big glass brooch.
those Sunday dinners would
always end with apple pie and
ice cream
and a big argument
about something or other,
my grandmother finally running out the door
and taking the red train back to
Pasadena
the place stinking for an hour
and my father walking about
fanning a newspaper in the air and
saying, 'it's all that damned sauerkraut
she eats!'
poem by Charles Bukowski
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The Town Poets
They have the ticket draw for the football club
But never a poets hour at the local pub
'Twould seem that cricket and football are the in thing
And horse racing at the back end of the Spring
But of course the Town poets have their own poetry night
On saturday evenings at the bowling club rooms their poems they recite
The local lovers of poetry their night out enjoy
To watch local favourite poets such as Rina, Kate and Roy
Reciting their poetry and strutting their stuff
It cannot be said of them not quite good enough
Quite talented poets the tops of the Town
Young poets in their thirties who dream of renown
And recite their poems in the rooms of the bowling club
Whilst it's a different scene at the Town's biggest pub.
poem by Francis Duggan
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I made my first Australian senior team when I was 16, first Olympics when I was 19, and I retired. I'm 32, I retired four years ago, so a good third of my life or nearly a third of my life has been all about running.
quote by Cathy Freeman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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She Does Deserve Great Sympathy
Ageing Bella in the house at the corner outdoors she is not often seen
She was a potential swimming Olympian till a motoring accident she had at eighteen
Brought an end to her swimming career back in ninteen seventy three
And condemned her to life in a wheelchair she does deserve great sympathy.
She could not compete in the Olympics and swim her way into renown
And become the toast of the Nation and the heroine of her Hometown
It robbed her of her chance of having children she has never been any man's wife
one might say she was quite unlucky that accident ruined her life.
She is quite an attractive woman her brown hair flecked with strands of gray
She had spent years of her life in a wheelchair seven to ten years before her prime day
when I meet her she smiles and says hello but sometimes she looks rather sad
I can only empathize with her a terrible life she has had.
Thirty six of her fifty four years in a wheelchair since her widowed mum died five years ago she has lived on her own
Lady luck is surely against her a terrible life she has known
Confined to a wheelchair due to a car crash on the highway which robbed her of her chance of fame
In swimming she was a young champion and for herself making a name.
poem by Francis Duggan
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The Marlboro Olympics
We all know of the Olympics
For athletes who are fit
What if we organised new games
And changed the rules a bit?
The tournament - its now unfair
Only the best compete
And all those who're less able
Could never win a heat.
So let our new rules equalise
The young 'n old and slow 'n fast
And let's introduce some new sports
In which the fittest may come last.
We will all compete on equal terms
In worldwide competition
No - this is not an empty dream
But a new Olympic vision.
We need to find us something
That the fittest do not do
And make it central to our games
The Olympics born anew.
We shall introduce some new sports
And new rules for the rest
But what will change above all else
Is smoking cigarettes.
Yes! The Marlboro Olympics!
Or whoever else will pay
To support our global smoking sports
And a more level field of play.
We've already got a logo
Entwined smoke rings in the sky
Just like those Olympic rings
But more pleasing to the eye.
The opportunity's enormous!
Just imagine that you're there
Oh the beauty of gynastics
With smoke swirling in the air!
Or in those cycle races
Where bottled water cyclists get
Now handed out throughout the race
Are successive cigarettes.
And in all the relay races
Where batons are exchanged
The baton will be lighted
With a filter tip arranged.
Sports like darts we'd showcase
And maybe dominoes
With beer on tap at every point
To make the action flow.
A new sport - extreme smoking
Would stimulate interest
In the finer points of coughing
And of wheezing in the chest.
The Olympic flame we'd stick with
It fits the whole concept
And we'd market special lighters
To publicise events.
For the sports that we're developing
We've got a site upon the net
So don't be slow - get thinking
And maybe light a cigarette.....
(pause - embarassed cough)
But while writing this i've had a thought
A shameful thought for me
If smokers pursued fitness
Then from smoking they'd be free.
poem by David Keig
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Onomatopoeia
Boom as thunder cracks outside, the cats hide under the bed
Crash as a glass hits the floor in the kitchen
Rip as we're having a pillow fight, we crack up laughing…
Onomatopoeia
Squish as ketchup squirts on our potatoes
Ha as we keep a game of golf running in the basement
Crack as a racket hits the wall…
Onomatopoeia
Meow as it gets closer to nine in the morning, three fuzzy heads on the countertop
Jingle as we pull the feather toy, tauntingly
Scritch as my pen follows the words across the page…
Onomatopoeia
Ow as I twist my wrist doing round-off back handsprings
Roar as we watch the lion pacing in his cage
Tick as students watch the clock, waiting impatiently for the bell to ring…
Onomatopoeia
Gather Together Olympians
We are gathered here together
To make this world better.
Athletes from every nation
Participating in this celebration.
Everyone with a goal in mind
To leave their mark at this time.
It mattered not if it was swimming
Pole vaulting, running, volley ball
In the water or on the land
They was there to take a stand.
Then I stop and think and in complete awe
How this world gets together to reach a score.
All problems are forgotten at this particular time
As they cross the finish line.
If we can do this for this short spell
Then we should send these problems
All to hell.
Many walked away with smiles on their faces
And some with tears in their eyes, and not
Because they didn't try.
The OLYMPICS come every four years
And they start training at a very young age
Just so they could climb up that two foot step
So that a judge can put a medal around their neck.
They do this for their own gratification
And to be honored by their nation.
To feel the joy that this event brings
Just like a ball player who gets that ring.
I salute you one and all -you have reason to stand tall.
poem by Louis Rams
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Running On A Treadmill
You've got me so I'm running round and round in circles
You've got me so I can't see my own face
You've got me so I feel I've been like this forever
You've got me so I'm crazy with disgrace
I know what's on your mind
But it's not what you think it is
I know what's on your mind
But it's not what you think it is
Running on a treadmill after you and I'm
Running on a treadmill now
Running on a treadmill after you and I'm
Running on a treadmill now
song performed by by Oingo Boingo
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I do a lot of running and hiking, and I also collect stamps - space stamps and Olympics stamps.
quote by Sally Ride
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The USA have recently done well in the Olympics and the Youth World Cup. So I think there will be some good young players available in the future, and not too expensive which is important to the club.
quote by Richard Gough
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Well my thoughts on American swimming are that our prospects look favorable, but we may not have as strong a showing in the gold medal count as in previous Olympics. But I am not coaching.
quote by Mark Spitz
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He Feels The Time Is Ripe
Where many do live for local renown
The ageing fringe dweller in the old country town
Has never played football with the local club
And always drinks on his own when he is in the pub.
Since he does not talk about the local club's latest loss or win
He remains an outsider and does not fit in
Though he has lived here for ten years as an outsider he remain
The status of a local he has yet to attain.
He feels a decade of his life enough to have spent here
He will move to the bigger town early next year
This not a town for one such as he an artist and a talented man
More suited to a footballer or a football fan.
In the old country town he does not have a friend
And his stay in the place is coming to an end
In his early to mid fifties his best days long gone
And he feels the time is ripe for him to move on.
poem by Francis Duggan
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Pantun - Besarnya sungei sungei sarawak (translated to Engish)
besarnya sungei sungei sarawak
bawa kita ke olympik menang menyelam
besar nya impian pemuda pemudi sarawak
untuk menang sanggup latih siang dan malam
the rivers of sarawak are big
take us to the olympics to win diving
big is the ambition of the youth in sarawak
training day and night to win
besarnya sungei sungei sarawak
sungei sarawak, sungei lupar, sungei rejang
besarnya impian pemuda pemudi sarawak
bawa kita ke olympik menang berenang
Pantum composed the day after Malaysian won bronze in 10m diving
at Olympics London 2012
poem by John Tiong Chunghoo
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On The Retirement Of Ian Thorpe
I heard on the radio in the sports news today
That Ian Thorpe the great swimmer has give competitive swimming away
A winner of nine Olympic medals five of them gold
Of his greatness in story and song we've been told
Australia's greatest ever swimmer if not the World's best
He was never found to be wanting when put to the test
But at twenty four years he said enough for me
At the World Championships and the Olympics him we'll never more see
At the prime of his life one might say a young man
But at top competitive swimming top swimmers do not have a long span
In the World of swimming he is an all time great
And his world Championship and Olympic victories Aussies did celebrate
A world renowned swimmer since he was a boy
And life after competitive swimming may he now enjoy.
poem by Francis Duggan
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Hot Potatoes
My baby woke me up this mornin
She said get down that labour exchange,
And if you dont come home with a job son,
Youll get no dinner to-day.
You gotta secure me a weekly workin wage.
Youll get no more fancy cookin,
Youll get no more apple pie,
Youll just get those plain hot potatoes
To satisfy your appetite.
La la la la la la potatoes,
Boiled, french fried, any old way that you wanna decide.
Hot potatoes, yeh,
I want your lovin every single day.
I said I dont need your fancy cooking,
I like the simple things in life,
Just give me those plain hot potatoes
And Ill be well satisfied,
Theyll satisfy my appetite.
La la la la la la potatoes,
Boiled, french fried, any old way that you wanna decide.
Hot potatoes, yeh,
I want your lovin 60 minutes an hour,
I want your lovin 24 hours a day,
I want your lovin 7 days a week.
Yeh, yeh, oh yeh.
I want your love, I need your love,
But all I get is hot potatoes
When I come home late at night
To satisfy my appetite.
Dont give me no more potatoes,
Boiled, french fried, any old way you wanna decide.
Hot potatoes,
I want your lovin every single day.
I want your lovin
La la la la la la potatoes,
Boiled, french fried, any old way that you wanna decide.
Hot potatoes, hot potatoes, yeh.
song performed by by Kinks
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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