Holier than Thou (alternative version)
Excuse me now, I'm such a cynic,
But my Christian friend is so 'organic',
He's like the fruit and vegetables and oh so pure
He's wholesomer than horse manure! !
I wish he wasn't so squeaky clean,
I wish he'd shout out something obscene,
I wish he wasn't so 'good' and 'nice',
But wallowed in some Terrible Vice! !
The worst thing is his Spiritual Pride -
It makes me creep and crawl inside! !
poem by John Thorkild Ellison
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
Holier Than Thou
It's a Mortal Sin, everyone knows,
To masturbate or blow your nose!
My Christian friend is so squeaky clean
It makes want to shout out something obscene!
He's kind and wholesome, almost 'organic'
Like the fruit or vegetables, but I'm a cynic,
Why does he have to be so 'nice'?
Please, God, redeem him with some vice
And bring his virtue to an end
Before he drives me round the bend! !
poem by John Thorkild Ellison
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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No More Mr. Nice Guy
I used to be such a sweet, sweet thing
'Til they got a hold of me
I opened doors for little old ladies
I helped the blind to see
I got no friends 'cause they read the papers
They can't be seen with me
And I'm gettin' shot down
And I'm feeling mean
No more Mister nice guy
No more Mister clean
No more Mister nice guy
They say he's sick, he's obscene
My dog bit me on the leg today
My cat clawed my eye
My mom's been thrown out of the society circle
My dad's had to hide
I went to church incognito
And everybody rose, the reverend Smith
He recognized me
Punched me in the nose
No more Mister nice guy
No more Mister clean
No more Mister nice guy
They say he's sick, he's obscene
song performed by by Megadeth
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Church of the Little Drummer Boy
He didn't do it for money,
He didn't to it for power,
It wasn't an inside job,
And he probably wasn't real.
But he wasn't controlled by the Mafia,
Maybe he was just a dream,
Or maybe just a hope,
Of what Christmas might mean.
Over the years many a child
Has heard of the Little Drummer Boy,
How he played his drum for Jesus
To bring the Baby some joy.
He didn't do it to be a big shot,
He wasn't Ginger Baker,
He played out of musical love,
And he wasn't a faker.
If you're looking for religion,
The Drummer Boy is good to go,
I mean, he's as churchy as it gets,
Considering the show.
poem by Richard Jarboe
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Horse Manure, A Pile Of It
horse manure
a pile of it
avoid it
and walk around it
spray perfume
to cover it
remove it
or complain about it
step in it
then curse it
shovel it
bury it.
Horse manure
a pile of it
collect it
grow flowers
horse manure
make use of it.
poem by Frances May
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Cynic: Someone who found out there wasn’t any Santa Claus when he was ten and is still upset about it.
James Gould Cozzens in The Cynic’s Dictionary
Submitted by Simona Enache
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0011 Scrubbing Carrots
Every Friday, a happy smiling man
who says he’s a mixture of Spain, Trinidad and England
delivers a bag of organic vegetables
and a bag of organic fruit, and
it’s a bit like a child’s Christmas bran-tub adventure –
some strange vegetables I’ve never seen before
and would never have dared to buy;
or eat, if I found them growing in the garden…
but it’s worth it for the carrots alone –
they taste, well, OK, like carrots used to taste..
and each week, they come from a different grower, so
they arrive clean and smooth one week,
clotted with earth another, but
as Rilke might say, rich with carrot-ness..
and I clean them with a respect which they
and the sheer living greenness of the greens
and other vegetables naturally demand of me
so that vegetable-cleaning
which used to be a chore done with attention
only at half strength, is now something more -
and in this mood, almost overlooked small great miracles of life
just happen of themselves –
two weeks ago, I watched amazed
as my two hands of themselves
devised a new way of cleaning carrots –
the hands reversed their roles: left hand
now held the scouring pad, diagonally,
and the right hand spiralled the carrot
in the pad… and lo! those etched horizontal lines
of dirt were perfectly removed..
and the isness of the carrot
and the isness of its servant
were together one silent song
where, it seemed,
the forgotten met the remembered
and rejoiced.
poem by Michael Shepherd
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It Was How I Remember And That’s Not How It Was
It may have been Classic, yet not elegant
It may have been Love, yet not romantic
It may have been hidden, yet not unforeseen
Yet none came to you
It was my brother’s irreplaceable companion and his little sister
It was my brother’s incredulity and his greatest suspicion
It was my brother’s settlement and his authorization
Yet none came to you
It wasn’t my dream and it wasn’t my fantasy
It wasn’t my concern and it wasn’t my guarantee
It wasn’t my content and it wasn’t my sorrow
It may have been my mother’s hope, yet not her premonition
And now its my animosity
Troy
I’ve been counting down the days to
see the shoeing of my beautiful horse
bandit
he has bad feet because
he was run hard in barrel racing
and put away wet
by the people who owned him before I did
I was taking my last ride on him
for the week
or that’s what I thought
at 3pm troy drove up
I told him all the angles he needed to shoe
my baby
I let him be and do his thing
I came back a hour latter see how he was doing
and to offer some water
cause of
the kind hearted person I am
he said I may have to stay off bandit for a while
I didn’t think that meant
A WHOLE YEAR
that man messed bandit’s feet up so bad that now
I couldn’t ride him for a year
it wasn’t fair to bandit he didn’t do anything
to deserve a whole year of pain
It wasn’t fair to me either cause
that is one of the strongest way to build your confidence up
and bond with your horse
I love riding horses
I have 11 other horses
I have to ride on a normal day
but bandit is my baby
and my best friend
and when you mess with my friends
you’ve crossed the line
but when you’ve messed with my horse
if I could I’ll screw over your life
cause when you do that you’ve gone way to far
y’all
my horse is my best friend
my companion
my bond for life
my everything
why my horse troy
why bandit
why troy
poem by Mrs. Cynosure
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Forever A Friend
That hair, those eyes, and that mysterious smile use to have an effect on me, for a little while.
But alast you weren't the real deal you were a rebound so to speak, but you can't blame me for liking you after all you were kind, funny, and sweet.
I promise you it wasn't you it was me, I still had unrequited love for HIM you see, so I put you back in the category of friends where you belonged and thanked God my little crush wasn't prolonged
You had me under your spell for one, maybe two weeks tops and then I came out of denial and all my so called 'feelings' for you just seem to stop
Don't get me wrong your a really nice person, and great friend, but your just not the guy for me, your just not him, so I guess you'll forever to me just remain a really good friend.
poem by Tiger Lily Love
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You know, she was a girl. She was a female. And she wasn't like, trying to compete in a man's world and she wasn't trying to be in a man's position, she was just who she was. And I think that was like, a good thing.
quote by Jenna Elfman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I Don't Want A Lover (2001 Mix)
I don't want a lover
I just need a friend
I don't want a lover
I just need a friend
You can just leave me
To face life on my own
I know you don't love me no more
I knew this day it would come
Even when it cuts so deep
It's true I still want you
But the harder I try
The more I seem to lose
I don't want a lover
I just need a friend
I've had time to recover
Now that I know it wasn't love
It's always a different story
When it's me who's in the wrong
But you can't have it all
Cause I'm the one who's strong
I've already been burnt before
Once but never again
I know the time will come
That's when you'll need me then
I don't want a lover
I just need a friend
I've had time to recover
Now that I know it wasn't love
I don't want a lover
I just need a prayer
I know you never cared
Now that I know it wasn't love
You don't even care
About what I'm saying
You don't even think
What you're doing
All you see is what you want it to be
But in there there's just no room for me
I don't want a lover
I just need a friend
I've had time to recover
Now that I know it wasn't love
You don't even care
About what I'm saying
You don't even think
What you're doing
All you see is what you want it to be
There's just no room in there for me
I don't want a lover
I just need a friend
I've had time to recover
Now that I know it wasn't love
I don't want a lover
I just need a prayer
I know you never cared
Now that I know it wasn't love
song performed by by Texas
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Many What If’s And More
What if Cinderella wasn’t a princess
But the advertiser of a new flavored jellybean
What if Snow White wasn’t pretty
But the ugliest hag ever seen
What if soccer wasn’t a game
But a new kind of disease
What if an oven isn’t used for warming food
But to make them freeze
What if tom wasn’t a cartoon
But a new mechanical device
That help cats in catching mice
Get very quick and wise
What if Jerry wasn’t a mouse
But another name for cherry
What if a mountain wasn’t mountain
But a new kind of berry
What if shoes weren’t used on feet
But to help us see
What if I wasn’t myself
I wonder who’d write this instead of me!
poem by Risha Ahmed
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The World Is In Pain
This world was once as bright as gold
With happy people young and old
But then as the people tell
To the evil goodness began to sell
The world wasn’t as bad as it is
With people’s tears coming out as rain
It wasn’t filled with darkness
It wasn’t like today - The World Is In Pain
And as the darkness began to prevail
So says the story tellers tale
From bad to worse, and worse to worst
It felt as if the whole world would burst
The world wasn’t filled with all sorts of crimes
With all the people going insane
The world wasn’t filled with killers and bandits
It wasn’t like today - The World Is In Pain
Now evil is ruling and angels are dieing
No truth is there and the people are lying
And as the truth is overpowered by lie
Over all places the dark clouds fly
The world wasn’t filled with lies
With search of truth ending in vain
The world wasn’t filled with darkness
It wasn’t like today - The World Is In Pain
poem by Vidushi Khera
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The Dwellers
It was known as the street of despair, where the homeless
And destitute lived- but no one cared!
They all turned their backs
It wasn’t hard to do, because it
Wasn’t anyone that they knew.
They lived in abandoned buildings
with no heat or water, but respect for each other
And their own type of order.
They still walked with a sense of pride
And on each other they did rely…
They created their own commune
And each child had their own room.
The men would go out and look
For jobs that would pay by the day.
They built a playground where the
Children could play.
Lawn maintenance and painting jobs
Could always be found, and at days end
They’d lay their money down.
Although they did not live
The same as you and me
But They lived comfortably.
They would buy five gallons of water
So that they could sponge bathe
For their lives had completely changed.
They bought portable stoves
So that the women could cook.
A little ingenuity was all it took.
They would buy clean clothes for
The children to wear, for that was
The only thing for which they cared.
A proper education was their goal
They would not allow it to be taken away
Exchanged, or stole.
They lived and worked together with one
Thing in mind, that these children would
Live better in a different place and time.
These are the true DWELLERS
That you don’t often hear about
For there is no one there to tell
Their stories and scream and shout.
poem by Louis Rams
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Such a Terrible Thing.
That would be such a terrible
Thing she said seeing morning
Come through the window like
Some peeping Tom if he was to
Write and say he didn’t want to
Meet and that he never loved
Me at all or indeed in the first
Place that it was all just pretence
And she waited each day for his
Letter to come saying precisely
That saying what she thought a
Terrible thing written in his neat
Hand with that hard pushed down
Period at the end of the last sentence
And with the absence of those crosses
Of kisses at the bottom of the page
And she lifted her head to the day
Coming through her window wondering
If the mailman would be late or if
Maybe he was on his way and maybe
He knew what the letter would say
And was on his way to deliver like some
Ancient messenger with news of some
Raging war or battle lost and it would
Be a terrible thing she thought if he did
Say those things if he did write them down
And she didn’t know how she would cope
If he did wasn’t sure if she could keep her
World intact wasn’t sure she could cling
On each morning as the sunlight seeped
Its way through to her room and touched
Her bed and skin and head maybe she
Thought he’ll say he loves me and write it
In his fine words and hand with those kisses
Like birds in flight at the bottom of the page
Otherwise she said it would be a terrible thing
For the traitorous two-faced mailman to bring.
poem by Terry Collett
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After I got over the terrible pain of having something of mine taken from me, I began to think how bad everybody else must be feeling. It wasn't a nice time.
quote by Lena Horne
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Everytime I Eat Vegetables It Makes Me Think Of You
She was a really good friend
A really good friend to me, yeah
She was a really good friend
A really good friend to me, yeah
But they took her away
Tossed her in the bin
Now she's hanging out
In East Berlin, ow-ooo
She had a very bad affair
With some cat from Hiroshima
She turned into a head of lettuce
She eats Thorazine in her farina
But they took her away
Tossed her in the bin
Now she's hanging out
In East Berlin, ow-ooo
And everytime I eat vegetables
It makes me think of you
And everytime I eat vegetables
I don't know what to do, to do ow-ooo
song performed by by Ramones
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I'm Sorry For...
I'm sorry, my dear friend Sophia
I'm sorry that I always let my anger out on you when you didn't do anything wrong
I'm sorry that I wasn't there when you needed me
I'm sorry that I... wasn't a good enough for you
I'm sorry that you had to be with a wimpy girl for such a time
I'm sorry that I couldn't be what you expected from me
I'm sorry that I made you feel so angry, depressed, and sad
I'm sorry that I usually have things in my way
I'm sorry that I couldn't say that I was sorry
Most of all
I'm sorry that I left you
I'm sorry that I couldn't be your best friend forever.
poem by XXXHolix Fire
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We Are The Vegetables
Well I've got this feeling in the back of my head
I feel like making someone's face turn red
Learning bike's and ditto vices
Try to look bored and your going places
We are the vegetables
We are the vegetables
We are the vegetables
We are the vegetables
Some music is playing by metal gazers
It's gone through the stage where everyone makes it
Do you think that we're not good
All I really know is I think you should
We are the vegetables
We are the vegetables
We are the vegetables
We are the vegetables
Well I've got this feeling in the back of my head
I feel like making someone's face turn red
Learning bikes and ditto vices
Try to look bored and your going places
We are the vegetables
We are the vegetables
We are the vegetables
We are the
We are the
We Are The Vegetables
Submitted by Michael Hack
song performed by by INXS
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Glittering Girl
She wasn't a fool, that glittering girl
She followed the rules, that shimmering pearl
Said the rules Mama preaches
Go down when they break
The things Mama teaches
You just gotta shake
But she wasn't a fool, that slender love figure
She followed her rule and made money bigger
She wasn't a fool, that shining young woman
She followed her rule, she's crying for no man
Said the rules Mama teaches
Go down when they're broken
She explodes into peaches
And cries when I've spoken
She wasn't a fool, that goddess of hell
There are no mother's rules, she makes them herself
If I was down upon my knees
To beg her, surrender up to me
Something inside her
Told her she shouldn't
Tried and alight her
But the girl wouldn't
She wasn't a fool but love flowed from her face
She's not scared of me, she's afraid of disgrace
She wasn't a fool that female for our world
She followed her rules, that glittering girl
That glittering girl
That glittering girl
That glittering girl
song performed by by Who
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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