Fat Man Blues
I'm getting fatter and fatter,
It's filling me with shame,
But it doesn't really matter,
It's the CALORIES that are to blame! !
So what if I drink a lot of wine
And munch too much when I eat my lunch -
Chocolate is so divine
And I like pork crackling to crunch!
It isn't fair that I'm so fat,
I never wanted to look like that! !
My doctor warns me that I may die
But I've got bigger fish to fry!
I wouldn't like to be thin as a rake
(That's why I eat a lot of cake) ,
Give me roast beef and Yorkshire pud,
Did anything ever taste so good?
To hell with going on a diet,
Gimme some bacon and I'll fry it! !
poem by John Thorkild Ellison
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
Fatter
Fatter, fatter
Shake n bake, fatter
Shake n bake, fatter
Fatter
Corndogs, pizza, coca cola
Yogurt, butterscotch, granola
Look at me, Im fatter
Im fatter, Im fatter
Friends all gather round me
My enemies surround me
Yelling fatso, fatso, fatso
Ive eaten at every single greasy spoon on seventh avenue
Thats right, Im fatter
Dont you know my weight is going up, up, up, up, up
I tell you, this turkey sure is tough
Tough, tough, tough, tough, tough, tough
They got pizza on the west side
French fries up town
Corn dogs deep fried in batter
Im fatter
Go ahead, bite the big apple
Dont mind the calories
Pile it on my platter
Im fatter
Pile it up, pile it high up
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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You Take the Cake
If I didn't provide you with munchies,
You wouldn't find a munch to crunch.
You would complain about the labor.
That it takes for you to make your lunch.
If I didn't provide you with munchies,
You wouldn't find a munch to crunch.
You would complain about the labor.
That it takes for you to make your lunch.
You take the cake.
With nothing brought from you to the table.
You take the cake.
With judgements passed and faked fables.
You take the cake...
And you leave no one a taste.
If I didn't provide you with munchies,
You wouldn't find a munch to crunch.
You would complain about the labor.
That it takes for you to make your lunch.
You take the cake.
With nothing brought from you to the table.
You take the cake.
With judgements passed and faked fables.
You take the cake...
And you leave no one a taste.
With a demonstating of your greed.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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No Matter How You Weep It
Gimme, gimme, gimme...
No more hunches to hunt!
And,
Gimme, gimme, gimme...
No more of your stunts!
Reveal in front of me,
Something I can see...
Believed.
And,
Gimme, gimme, gimme...
No more run arounds.
And,
Gimme, gimme, gimme...
Truth that's easily found!
'Cause I am paralyzed,
By your constant lies...
You leave.
Wishing them to be received.
Gimme, gimme, gimme...
No more lunches to munch.
All I wish from you,
Is not my feelings to crunch!
But you believe that I,
Am here to justify...
Deceit!
No matter how you weep it!
Gimme, gimme, gimme...
No more hunches to hunt!
And,
Gimme, gimme, gimme...
No more of your stunts!
All I want from you...
Are feelings that are true.
No matter how you weep it!
It's the truth I wish to see.
Gimme, gimme, gimme...
No more lunches to munch.
All I wish from you,
Is not my feelings to crunch!
But you believe that I,
Am here to justify...
Deceit!
No matter how you weep it!
You believe that I,
Am here to justify...
Deceit!
No matter how you weep it!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Sonnet: On Research
Don’t teach a Horse to feed on Horse-Radish;
And don’t teach it to munch on Turnips too;
Don’t show a Cat to catch mice and eat fish;
For these things, they so naturally will do.
Don’t force a Horse to drink river-water,
Don’t flog a tired Horse, without an end;
No matter what they feed, Pigs grow fatter,
You don’t have to tell the Willow to bend.
Just give the chances; most men will perform;
Encourage them to come out in their best;
Create right conditions and keep them warm;
Give them some incentives, honour and rest.
Research is done by Scientists if you spend;
There are no short-cuts; Don’t hasten their end.
poem by John Celes
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Pork Chops are Fun
chop chop chop the pork squeals over dinner
with it's fatty bits and tasty bites
it marinates on a stick over hot coal
who will taste it first who will finish the bowl
Wow Pork Chops with red wine
then dinner will be divine
chop chop chop the pork is done
with ginger, wine and lots of fun
it's time to have with a salty bun
chop chop chop see it go in the oven my friends
it's dinner time lets eat it all
then lets sit together and have a ball
chop chop chop the pork tastes good
with the meat so tender it bloody weel should
sometimes on the pan sometimes as a roast
call your freinds for dinner it's a dish one can boast
chop chop chop the pork is done
sprikle a little wine to make things bright
then the meat put it on light
watch it burn and tremble with delight
chop chop chop my pork chops are done
poem by Anuj Tikku
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In Heaven, There Really Are Beaches.
In Heaven there are beaches for all to tan....
While in Hell there is only many a burnt out Man.
In Heaven there are Banana Splits that do not cause all to grow even more fatter....
While in Hell You have to diet, because to Your Trainer, Does it really, really do matter.
In Heaven there are beaches...
While down in Hell, remains all the uppity, uppity of B_tches!
poem by Michael Gale
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I'll Eat The Fish
I use to like it well done not rare.
Prepared tenderly as if one cared.
I had to have my steak well cooked and baked.
I use to slice it into pieces split,
With fried potatoes...
And some wine to slowly sip.
But when I changed my diet I got into fish.
And I discovered baked fish was quite delicious.
That was it.
And today there is no beef for me,
I'll eat the fish!
I use to slice my beef into tiny pieces split.
But when I changed my diet I got into the fish.
That was it.
That was it.
And today there is no beef for me I will eat the fish!
That is it for me...
Today I'm on the fish!
I use to like it well done not rare.
Prepared tenderly as if one cared.
I had to have my steak well cooked and baked.
I use to slice it into pieces split,
With fried potatoes...
And some wine to slowly sip.
But today there is no beef for me I will eat the fish!
That is it for me...
Today I'm on the fish!
Today there is no beef for me I will eat the fish!
That is it for me...
Today I'm on the fish!
Even fish sticks,
Will be eaten very quick.
I will handled eating up those fish sticks very quick.
Especially if they're deep fried and battered!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Ever Had a Nine-course Meal?
Ever had a nine-course meal to set you on your way?
Perhaps to start, a glass of wine aside a cheese soufflé.
The second dish could be of fish, so how about Paella?
Check with Chef to see it's cooked – you don't want salmonella!
Now for the third we'll hot it up with spicy beef kebab –
You know we wouldn't want the feast to feel a little drab!
Before the fourth, you'll need a lager – taken from the keg.
And in this cooling interlude, enjoy a chocolate egg
Before the launch of number five: a roaring Indian curry –
And since our table's near the loo, you'll have no need to worry!
But now to take the heavy stuff: a whopping great lasagna;
However, this is rather special – a recipe from Romania!
Risotto makes the seventh course with red Italian wine,
Then you'll benefit from dessert, with chocolate mousse divine!
Oh - and afterwards a stretcher as we serve course number nine!
Copyright © Mark R Slaughter 2009
poem by Mark R Slaughter
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Chocolate Is A Food Group
I love chocolate.
So should you.
Milk chocolate,
Dark chocolate.
It's good for you, too.
Chocolate cake,
Chocolate candy,
Chocolate pie.
Take away my chocolate
And I might die.
White chocolate,
Hot chocolate,
Even chocolate soup...
Any chocolate lover knows
Chocolate is a food group.
poem by Rich Reitz
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The Dark Temptation
When the sweet dish
just melts in one’s mouth
one then tends to cherish
the tasty chocolate mousse
When one drinks milkshake
especially the chocolate one
one says, ”What a tasty make! ”
and asks” How was it done? ”
When one eats a chocolate cake
they say, ”The cake was damn good”
they ask”Please tell us how it was baked
So that we can make it if we could”
But what is the main ingredient
in these superb deserts?
“Its chocolate”- THE BRILLIANT
that adds magic to these deserts
the dish then due to chocolate
becomes a temptation
and even though one is not hungry to eat a plate
he cannot undergo any restrictions
As just the sight of chocolate
makes one’s mouth to water
one is just then unable to stop oneself
and eats it like a mad-eater
It’s the taste, the taste that makes it different
the taste that’s beyond description
Hence chocolate is and will be and will always be meant
to be:
THE WORLD’S GREATEST TEMPTATION
poem by Hansika Subramanian
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An eldery dame from Seville
Who, when asked If she'd go on the pill
Said, 'It may make me fatter,
But that doesn't matter
As I'm already over the hill.'
quote by by John Carter Brown
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Chubby Boy.
his name is chubby boy,
his 14 years old and can't let go of his favorite toy,
he loves ice cream and chocolate,
give the fat boy food and he can eat al of it,
he has no shame,
if something breaks hes the one to blame,
he screams and cusses too much,
his favorite candy bar is white chocolate crunch,
he fights for food and has a million snow flakes,
the only way to make him happy is to buy him chocolate cakes,
he is a fanatic of jurrassic park,
but turn off the lights and he will run from the dark,
a 100% mommas boy,
hes the one and only chubby boy.
3/03/2009
poem by Jose Murguia
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Ode To Cheese
☺ .
Ode To Cheese,
Which Makes Us Smile,
When Camera's go Clack.
Ode To Cheese,
Which make us taste,
The greatest of flavors, the wackiest of whack.
Ode To Cheese,
Blue, Gorgonzola,
American and Cheddar.
Ode To Cheese,
Beja and Feta,
In all types of weather.
Ode To Cheese,
For those on a diet,
or trying to get fatter.
Ode To Cheese,
with crackers and wine,
with grapes can flatter.
Ode To Cheese,
when you're sad and happy,
Cheese just fits.
Ode To Cheese,
Mountains and Mountains,
or bits and bits.
Ode to the Cheese,
To appreciate,
eat,
and take pictures.
The Doctor
the doctor cannot hide her madness
at the patient
who has always been gaining weight
despite the
written prescription for the
strict diet
of vegetables and fruits
and less carbohydrates
with a definite no on smoking
and alcohol
and fats....
the reverse happens
the oily pork beside the chocolate cakes
the coca cola and rum and
Peking duck
goading, and hoarding
and overeating
he knows what he wants
she doesn't
he has always been praying for that quick
and happy death
the grief is too much
all his life he is the scarecrow in the field
the black birds tease him
the children stone him
the locusts have no fear of him
the golden fields have no need of him
the humiliating days are not over
he knows what he wish
the doctor is foolish
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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My Tribute To Bacon (Bacon the food)
Why does almost everyone like smoky bacon?
It tastes too good be not mistaken, the best thing to eat is great bacon.
They say even vegans like to eat bacon.
Have you heard they've even got chocolate covered bacon!
There is a donut with maple and bacon.
So, ode to pigs who give us great bacon.
And hooray to all who love great smoky bacon.
poem by Nichole Kaci McKnight
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Gimmie Gimmie Gimmie
Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme
I need it more
I need it more
Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme
Don't ask what for
Don't ask what for
Sitting here like a loaded gun
Waiting to go off
I've got nothing to do
But shoot my mouth off
Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme
I need it more
I need it more
Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme
Don't ask what for
Don't ask what for
I know the worlds got problems
I've got problems of my own
They aint the kind that
Can be solved with an
Atom bomb!
Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme
I need it more
I need it more
Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme
Don't ask what for
Don't ask what for
You know I'm gonna go out
Get something for my head
If I keep on doing this
I'm gonna end up dead
Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme
I need it more
I need it more
Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme
Don't ask what for
Don't ask what for
Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme
I need it more
I need it more
Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme
Don't ask what for
Don't ask what for
song performed by by A Perfect Circle
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Holiday Chocolate
Chocolate- I am smitten
You are there for me
When no one cares
Or no one dares
You fill up my life
With ice cream, pie and cake
I'd even have you on vegetables
Tis' love for goodness sake
You taste soo good in candy
And great in truffles too
I love to munch and chew away
Happy hands coated in goo
Your sugar can make me crazy
I end up very wired
Flying around the house
A rocket: chocolate fired
My taste buds and my stomach
Don't share a similar view
While taste is running delightful
The other is in a stew
At first a big round bloat
And then sick to the gills
From whence my wife will surely say
'Take your stomach pills'
Perhaps a wiser chap than I
Would go gently to a treat
For the coming holiday season
I'll be in it with both feet
poem by Ray Andrews
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Easy Made Cake
Easy made cake...
Doesn't taste,
Homemade.
An easy made cake...
Doesn't taste,
Homemade.
Or does it age...
Like a fine wine.
Made from grapes,
Picked and saved...
Off of a selected vine.
Easy made cake...
Doesn't taste,
Homemade.
Or have a flavor staying,
In one's mind.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Christmas Poem
Christmas is a coming
And we'll all be getting fatter
But at this time of year
It really doesn't matter
The turkey'll be stuffed
With lovely sausagemeat
The table will be dressed
Looking good and really neat
We'll be making roast potatoes
And also pigs in a blanket
The food will be aplenty
Rather like a banquet
There'll be sprouts on our plate
After which we'll be trumping
We'll stuff our belly way too much
And end up like a dumpling
To finish we'll have afters
Of Christmas pud and custard
By now we'll be feeling stuffed
Our trousers almost busted
After dinner we'll sing carols
Squealing like a crazy cat
We'll pull a Christmas cracker
Then wear a silly hat
We'll tell pathetic jokes
And laugh like cackling hens
We'll be pulling silly faces
Down the camera lens
The beer and wine will flow
The eggnog'll make an appearance
In time we'll start to slur our words
Slowly becoming incoherent
Then off to bed We'll go
To dream a happy dream
When we awake we will have
Some Christmas pud and Cream!
All That's Left
All that’s left
Are two chairs
Empty wine glasses
And a slice of chocolate cake
Mosquitoes now swarm like memories
Over an unfinished dream
We were there
Two people
On two chairs
Wine and chocolate cake
It’s late now
Bamboo patches dark and dangerous
We left in laughter
Came in tears
Two people
Two glasses and chocolate cake
Our words like colours
On an empty canvass
poem by Wesley Gibbings
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