Drunken Messiah
When Jesus had a hangover
They cancelled Mass that morning;
He'd been out with Magdelan on the booze
Ignoring His Mother's warning.
He said 'I'll do just as I choose
And turn the water into wine
And if you say you don't like it
You'll share the fate of the Gaderene swine! '
But Joseph was a bit annoyed
That Jesus gave His Mother grief -
He said 'You're getting above Yourself,
What's all this fuss about Belief? '
It was then that the Good Lord replied
'I'm sorry I got drunk,
I know I should be crucified
But I'd rather become a Trappist monk! '
Of course, our Saviour didn't know
That crucifixion was His fate,
He didn't know He was our God
Or perhaps He realized too late!
poem by John Thorkild Ellison
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Related quotes
Bible in Poetry: Gospel of St. John (Chapter 2)
There was a wedding in Cana,
And Jesus’ mother had gone there;
Invited was Jesus also;
His disciples attended too.
When wine ran short, His mother told,
Jesus, “They have no wine to serve.”
But Jesus asked. back, ‘Why tell me? ’
“How does that concern me? ” He asked.
“My hour has not yet come.” He said.
His mother told the servers all,
“Do whatev’r He tells you to do.”
There were six water-jars of stone,
Meant for Jewish ceremonies.
Each could hold some thirty gallons.
When Jesus told, ‘Fill up the jars
With water up to brim, ’ they did.
Then Jesus told them, ‘Draw out some
And take it to the head-waiter.’
The Head-waiter tasted new wine.
He knew not wherefrom this wine came.
He called the bridegroom and told him,
“All serve the good wine initially.
When people have drunk one less good,
You’ve kept the good wine until now? ”
This was his first miracle done
In Cana town, in Galilee.
His disciples believed in Him.
Thus was revealed His glory first!
All went to Capernaum later.
They stayed there only for few days.
Then Jesus reached Jerusalem,
As Passover was nearing fast.
And in the temple area then,
He saw some selling animals;
Some money-changers were there too.
He made a whip out of some cords,
And drove them out of temple fast.
He spilled the money of changers,
And over-turned their tables too.
He told the dove-sellers to leave.
He warned them not to make the house
Of His Father, a market-place!
His disciples recalled scripture,
‘Zeal for your house will consume me! ’
The Jews then asked Jesus to show
The sign for doing thus, that day.
And Jesus answered them and said,
‘Destroy this temple; in three days,
I’ll raise it up! ’ He firmly said.
‘The Temple took forty-six years
For construction, ’ the Jews all said.
‘You’ll raise it in just three days time? ’
But He meant His body’s temple.
When Jesus was raised from the dead,
His disciples remembered this.
They came to believe the scripture
And what was foretold by Jesus.
While Jesus in Jerusalem
And Feast of the Passover came,
So many believed in His name,
When they had seen the signs He did.
But Jesus didn’t trust anyone.
He knew the people all around.
He did not need one to tell Him.
He understood human nature!
Copyright by Dr John Celes 5-21-2007
poem by John Celes
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Good Friday
The Crucifixion- Jesus Spoke Seven Times
The day was Friday and time: Nine O’clock:
To Golgotha, the ‘Place of Skull’, they came;
And on the cross, they wrote His glorious name:
I N R I: in Latin, Greek, Hebrew-
‘Jesus of Nazareth, King of the Jews’
And Jesus spoke for the very first time:
‘Father, forgive them for they do not know
What they are doing.” Lk 23: 34
They tore His garments and auctioned them Mt 27: 25
They mocked at Jesus, and spat on his face; Mt 27: 39
The thieves spoke angrily to him but one
Believed that Jesus was truly a king.
And Jesus spoke for the second time thus:
“Truly, I say to you, today,
You will be with me in Paradise.” Lk 23: 43
When Jesus spoke the third time, He told His mother,
“Woman, this is your son.”
And to the disciple, He said,
‘This is your mother.” Jn 19: 26-27
The robbers two, were crucified with Him;
One to His left and other, to His right;
At noon-time, darkness fell: the land turned dim;
Till three O’clock, there was not much of light;
When Jesus spoke for the fourth time aloud:
‘Eli, Eli, lema sabackthani! ’ which meant:
‘My God, My God, Why have You forsaken me? ’
When Jesus spoke for the fifth time, He said,
“I thirst, ” Jn 19: 30 and they offered a sponge with vinegar!
And the sixth time when Jesus spoke:
‘It is finished; and ‘it is accomplished’ Jn 19: 28
And when He spoke for the seventh time
It was the last and Jesus cried aloud:
“Father, into your hands, I commend my spirit” Lk23: 46
A soldier pierced the side of Jesus when,
Blood and water gushed forth from the wound!
The curtain of the Temple was torn apart
And there came upon the land, an earthquake. Mt 27: 51-54
Jesus was taken off the cross and buried. Mk 15: 46
Copyright by Dr John Celes 3-21-2008
poem by John Celes
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God Rest You Merry, Gentlemen
God rest you merry, gentlemen,
Let nothing you dismay,
For Jesus Christ our Saviour
Was born upon this day,
To save us all from Satan's power
When we were gone astray.
O tidings of comfort and joy,
For Jesus Christ our Saviour was born on Christmas day.
In Bethlehem in Jury
This blessed babe was born,
And laid within a manger
Upon this blessed morn;
The which his mother Mary
Nothing did take in scorn.
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Jesus Christ our Saviour was born on Christmas day.
From God our Heavenly Father
A blessed Angel came,
And unto certain Shepherds
Brought tidings of the same,
How that in Bethlehem was born
The Son of God by name.
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Jesus Christ our Saviour was born on Christmas day.
Fear not, then said the Angel,
Let nothing you affright,
This day is born a Saviour
Of virtue, power and might;
So frequently to vanquish all
The friends of Satan quite.
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Jesus Christ our Saviour was born on Christmas day.
The Shepherds at those tidings
Rejoiced much in mind,
And left their flocks a feeding
In tempest, storm and wind,
And went to Bethlehem straightway,
This blessed babe to find.
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Jesus Christ our Saviour was born on Christmas day.
But when to Bethlehem they came,
Whereas this infant lay,
They found him in a manger
Where oxen feed on hay,
His mother Mary kneeling
Unto the Lord did pray.
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Jesus Christ our Saviour was born on Christmas day.
Now to the Lord sing praises,
All you within this place,
And with true love and brotherhood
Each other now embrace;
This holy tide of Christmas
All others doth deface.
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Jesus Christ our Saviour was born on Christmas day.
poem by Anonymous Americas
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Mother's Day
Upon the day that I was born, my Mother gave me life -
A fragile baby so forlorn unused to pain and strife,
Unused to light that shone above, unused to all the glare...
I was her pride and joy to love, forevermore to share...
Upon the day she took me home, she held me by the hand.
It didn't matter where we'd roam, for God had something planned.
When Schooldays took me far away, each evening I returned.
She helped me every single day beyond the facts I'd learned.
She was a rock, a face that smiled, a great encouragement.
She gave her best to help her child as through the years we went.
The decades passed and she grew old till Jesus said, 'Be brave! '
To me, she was as good as gold till laid within her grave...
The tears still sting upon my eyes and fall upon my cheeks...
Memories share a love so nice and through these, she still speaks.
Each Mother's Day, I pause to pray, remembering her love.
She's now with Jesus every day... In Heaven, blessed above...
poem by Denis Martindale
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It takes three to make a family
(The Mistress or mother)
My son was a gift,
But his father didn't think so,
He left me alone,
With his son I mind you,
I was just a girl,
And he a man,
He did not care,
He left me bowed eyes and broken,
A Lord was he and I Mistress was I,
We were in two different worlds,
Seperated by our familes,
But our son not like us,
A son forced to see his parents like this,
I can still do te best for him,
His father is a monster not a man,
I am scared for my son,
What of his life?
No, I must do my best for him,
If I don't I'll let both of us down,
Years have past and now my son is a man,
I'm dying slowly,
I don't want my son to worry,
I know that I'm on my deathbed,
And I'm as king forJesus.
(Lord or father)
I did not leave her,
She left me,
I couldn't find her,
I wanted my son,
She didn't give him,
Now she's gone and my son with me,
My son's mother was my late wife,
I wanted them both,
But she sought me to be a demon,
Lies upon lies,
I was persuaded from my mother,
My wife listened to our converesation,
Many years later my son is married,
Now I'm going to meet my wife,
Together in heaven,
We have all eternity,
Jesus please keep our son.
(Son)
I am a man who loves,
Mom and dad didn't know,
I am the birth of their future,
They died without knowing me,
I am their son,
But all their time was fighting,
Mentally and emotional,
I spent my childhood afraid of them,
On a nevering chase against time,
My family will teach and give me love,
Years, many, many, years later,
I am a great grandfather,
Now and finally I am on my deathbed,
And I'm happy,
A tear has fallen out my eye,
I am now ready to reunite with,
Both my mother and father,
Jesus thank you for bringing,
The family together at last.
poem by Qeeony Luv
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Blind Bartimaeus
He would not let Jesus pass him by.
Called out to the Saviour with a loud cry.
It was his last chance to be made whole.
For blind from birth was this poor soul.
The crowd rebuked him to keep silent
but he cried out the more for he was intent
not to miss the Lord and let him pass by.
'Have mercy on me' was his loud cry.
Jesus stopped and bid them bring the man.
And jumping to his feet to Jesus he ran.
The Lord then said 'What do you want of me? '
'Rabbi', Bartimaeus said, 'I want to see.'
Immediately Jesus restored his sight
for he had faith that Jesus would put it right.
Then following Jesus along the way
his life had been miraculously changed that day.
As Bartimaeus we too have been born blind
and need like him the Saviour to find.
To cry 'Son of David have mercy on me.
Open my eyes, Lord, I want to see.'
It is at the cross that all can see
the extent of God's love for you and me.
And say to Jesus, 'Saviour hear my cry
while You touch others do not pass me by.'
Based on Mark 10: 46-52
* Spiritually blind
Not Close
Where’s the kid? Kirkehuse
asks. She’s in bed, she’s sleeping,
Mother says. About time; never
knew a kid to yak so much. She’s just
a child. She’s a yakker and she talks
too much. Mother cuddles up close
to Kirkehuse on the sofa as he sips
his booze. You’re too soft with her;
she gets away with things. When I
was a kid I kept quiet and did as I
was told and if I didn’t my old man’d
make sure I knew what’d happen if
I didn’t, Kirkehuse says. Mother kisses
his stubbly cheek. I try, she mutters.
Well, you don’t try hard enough.
The kid just yaks and thinks she knows
things she doesn’t. Kirkehuse looks at
Mother’s head of hair. He kisses her.
And what was that about the history
lesson, eh? She thinks we don’t know
about the Kennedys? Mother pulls at
the hem of her dress; he sips his booze.
She’s just trying to show she’s good at school,
Mother says. Kirkehuse pulls a face.
If she were my kid she’d know her place.
poem by Terry Collett
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Fate Factor
You choose your fate
By the things you do
If you are good
Your fate will be too
Fate does not choose you
It won’t take time to choose you
Just watch what you do
And fate will be good to you
A fate worse than death
For being bad that’s what you get
I’ve been there and back
So I know the facts
Take my advice
Live life right
Just do onto others good
And fate will do onto you
Follow one of the golden rules
Do onto others what you,
Want them to do onto you
And that’s how you choose your fate
poem by LaTisha Parkinson
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White Republican Male Jesus?
White Republican Male Jesus?
what about...
black Jesus, brown Jesus,
Asian Jesus, atheist Jesus,
female Jesus, poor Jesus,
jobless Jesus, prison Jesus,
homeless Jesus, illegal immigrant Jesus?
dog Jesus, cat Jesus,
baby in a dumpster Jesus,
addict Jesus, old Jesus?
gay Jesus, union Jesus,
hungry Jesus, foreign Jesus?
bumming a cup of coffee Jesus?
brother Jesus, sister Jesus?
just bombed Jesus,
food stamp Jesus?
how many bodies? how many crosses?
you tell me!
poem by Eric Cockrell
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Sonnet: The Name of Jesus…
The name of Jesus gives us grace anew;
The name of Jesus cures minds of evils;
The name of Jesus portrays divine view;
The name of Jesus drives away devils.
The name of Jesus works great miracles;
The name of Jesus brings solace to all;
The name of Jesus flashes parables;
The name of Jesus makes a clarion call!
The name of Jesus wards off dangers great;
The name of Jesus acts like holy knives!
The name of Jesus changes sad a fate;
The name of Jesus saves all sinners’ lives.
The name of Jesus will convert a soul;
The name of Jesus leads souls to God’s goal!
Copyright by Dr John Celes 7-5-2006
poem by John Celes
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Sweet Little Jesus Boy
Sweet... little Jesus boy-oy-oy
They made You be born in a manger-er
Swee-ee-ee-eet little Ho-oly chi-i-ld
They didn't know who You were
Didn't know You'd come to save us Lord
To take our sins away
Our eyes were bli-i-ind
And we could not see-ee
We didn't know-ow who-oo You were
A long time ago-o
You were bor-orn in a manger, Lor-ordd
Sweet little Je-esus Boy (Sweet Jesus boy)
Now the world treated You mean, Lor-ord
And it's been treatin' me mean too
But that's how things are done now, yeah-eah (Swee-ee-eet)
We didn't know it was You
You done told us how
And we are a-tryin'
Master, You done showed us how (how-ow-ow)
Even when you were dyin' (when you were dyin')
It just seems like we can't do right (do right)
Look how we treated you, yeah-eah
Please, please, forgive us Lord...
We didn't know it was you
Sweet little Jesus boy-oy (Sweet little Je-esu-us)
Born a long time ago-o
Swee-ee-ee-eet little Holy chi-i-ild
We didn't know who-oo You were
song performed by by Kenny Rogers
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I Believe In Jesus
Ran into mother mary down on line
Street in l.a.
She was preaching the gospel
She was singing how jesus saves
When a crowd of passing tourists
Looked to see what they could see
You know before they know it she had
Them all down on their knees
I believe in jesus you know I know him
Oh so well
And Im going to heaven by and by
cause I already been through hell
I believe in jesus, in jesus, in jesus
I believe in jesus, in jesus
So onward christian soldiers still
Marching as to war
With the cross of jesus just going on before
Now jesus was a little lamb, his fleece
Was white as snow
And every where that jesus went
This lamb is sure to go
Well I believe in jesus you know I know him
Oh so well
And Im going to heaven by and by
cause I saved my soul from going to hell
I believe in jesus, in jesus, in jesus
I believe in jesus, in jesus
Look at the sheep cause theyre
Running fast
They wanna make it through the gates
At last
So onward christian soldiers still
Marching as to war
With the cross of jesus just going on before
I believe in jesus, in jesus
I believe in jesus, in jesus.....
song performed by by Donna Summer
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Salvation
how many Jesus's does it take?
rock n roll Jesus, civil rights Jesus,
sexual Jesus, Baptist Jesus,
Pentecostal snake Jesus...
heroin Jesus, small town family Jesus,
necklace Jesus, tattoo Jesus,
illegal immigrant Jesus...
Jesus on the cross in a drunk tank Jesus,
Marlboro Jesus, county fair Jesus,
pray for Armagadden Jesus...
or just a man,
living one day, one moment,
one bare naked dirty human need
at a time...
with open hands, open heart,
and open mind!
poem by Eric Cockrell
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Lord Jesus, Hold Me!
Lord Jesus hold me!
Please lead me to the Light!
Lord Jesus hold me!
Please feed me some insight!
You loved me on Calvary!
On Calvary, it's true!
Nobody's loved as quite
As much as You!
Lord Jesus hold me,
Hold me to You!
Receive the very heart of me,
Today, eternally!
Lord Jesus hold me,
Hold me to You!
To find You was my destiny,
My ecstasy, my liberty!
Jesus hold me...
Lord Jesus hold me!
Lord Jesus hold me!
Please never let me go!
Yet please don't scold me!
I really want to grow!
Teach me from each Bible book!
Communion bread and wine!
Yet most of all,
Forgiveness that's divine!
Lord Jesus hold me,
Hold me to You!
Receive the very heart of me,
Today, eternally!
Lord Jesus hold me,
Hold me to You!
The Passion sacrificed for me,
The Blood Atonement meant for me!
Jesus loves me!
Lord Jesus loves me! !
poem by Denis Martindale
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Awake!
God said, 'serve',
But I chose to run.
God said, 'stop! ',
But I was having too much fun.
Then God said, 'come! ',
And willingly, I came.
Soon after that,
My life began to change -
God said 'give',
But I said 'get'
God said 'live',
But my path lead to death.
God said 'Listen! '
'And My laws, do abide.',
But I didn't hear Him,
For my heart was too full of pride.
But then I heard a story,
Of how Jesus died for me.
I learned that He served,
He listened,
And gave up all,
So we could have life,
And have it more abundantly.
I discovered that God had a calling
Upon my life,
And that He,
Had plans to prosper me,
And not to harm me -
Plans to give me a hope, and a future.
I found out that all have sinned,
And fallen short
Of the glory of God.
That meant I, too
Was a sinner,
And my soul was hell bent!
If I wanted to be in Heaven
With God when I died,
I needed to believe -
That Jesus is God in the Flesh,
He is the Messiah,
He is God's Son,
The perfect and spotless one,
The Way, the Truth, the life -
The atonement and sacrifice
To save my soul.
I needed to relize
That for forgiveness of my sin,
Jesus had to be crucified,
Hung on a tree, and left to die.
I Must confess with my mouth
That Jesus is Lord,
And that He died,
That He was Buried,
And on the third day,
Jesus rose and conquered the grave!
So, What could I do? ,
But repent
And ask Jesus to be
Lord of my life.
I knew I must surrender all,
So with reckless abandon,
I did.
I know I must answer the call,
To let all
People know
Of Jesus' sacrifice,
Which is the purchase of their soul
Back from sin and spiritual death.
There is is a reward in heaven,
For what is given up now,
To surrender your life to Jesus.
Take up your cross daily,
And follow Him,
For he is Saviour of our soul!
And what ever be left
Here to rot and mold,
Will be replaced anew.
T'will be your reward in Heaven,
Manifested tenfold!
But when you meet Jesus in Heaven,
T'will be brighter than the sun!
He will look you in the eye
To tell you,
'My servant, well done! '
poem by Macy Dvirnak
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Jesus was the greatest hero
Jesus was the greatest hero who ever lived.
He had the power of resurrection and the power to forgive.
When Jesus was tortured to death, he died for our sins.
We wish he was still here so that he could resurrect our kin.
God gave his son the power to turn water into wine.
Jesus will always be a hero of yours and a hero of mine.
Jesus is awesome and that's a statement that I won't retract.
His compassion for people has no boundaries and that's a fact.
poem by Randy Johnson
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What's In A Name
What’s in a Name?
Jesus had been thrown out of the café, he tends
to get laud and argumentative after wine.
Water into wine not a good idea.
Outside, he upended a few plastic tables, police
were called they drove him to the local station
put him in a cell at the back.
A cold cell after a few hours he was shivering
and they let him out he had a long walk home
to the cottage he shares with his mother
Jesus is a good lad, they all say so, and no one
but me is intrigued by his name, in this part
of the world it is a common forename.
poem by Oskar Hansen
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O Jesus
O Jesus, peace be upon him, the one who was the Word of God…
O Jesus, peace be upon him, who came and was always in the Thoughts of God…
O Jesus, peace be upon him, he who was born of the Virgin Mary…
O Jesus, peace be upon him, and peace be upon his mother Mary…
O Jesus, peace be upon him, the one who the Holy Spirit of God was given…
O Jesus, peace be upon him, the one who in the name of God, casted out demons…
O Jesus, peace be upon him, the one they said slanderous things about…
O Jesus, peace be upon him, the one they tried to blot out…
O Jesus, peace be upon him, who came and was sinless…
O Jesus, peace be upon him, who came to the temple and became relentless…
O Jesus, peace be upon him, who came to the Israelites to teach them the Gospel…
O Jesus, peace be upon him, who came and did things that were impossible…
O Jesus, peace be upon him, he who is the Prophet and Christ…
O Jesus, peace be upon him, he who the Scriptures prophesised…
O Jesus, peace be upon him, he who Almighty God raised up…
O Jesus, peace be upon him, he who Almighty God will send back and amaze us.
poem by Russel Choudhury
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Season's Greeting
God gives us His Son
To save the world,
So that we can be saved.
God gives us His Love,
Through giving us a baby,
Called Jesus Christ.
God calls upon Mary, our Mother of God,
To bear His precious and glorious Son,
To give us meaning in life.
We celebrate Jesus Christ's birth
By giving gifts,
By renewing our belief and faith,
By celebrating Christmas.
We remember His presence,
We remember God's gift,
To share and spread His Love
To the whole world.
Let the angels above,
Sing for joys, rejoice and celebrate,
For the new kingdom of God comes.
God gives us the greatest gift of All,
A saviour, Jesus Christ
Wishing all Merry Christmas.
Let us renew our faith,
In Jesus Christ,
Another reason to celebrate
Happy New Year again.
poem by Lawrence Hiung
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A Phoenician Woman Of Faith
your praying every single time
your heart is moved to take in
a stray dog or cat; I remember
a Phoenician woman who cried
out to the Lord, son of David;
because her daughter was badly
demonized; Jesus said to his disciples
“I was not sent forth to any but
to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.”
When the woman made obeisance
saying “Lord, help me! ” In answer
Jesus said “It is not right to take the bread
of the children and throw it to little dogs.”
With a mother’s love praying for her
daughter the Phoenician woman replied
“Yes Lord, but even the dogs do eat
of the crumbs falling from their master’s
table.” Jesus replied “Oh woman, great
is your faith; let it happen to you
as you wish.” In faith her daughter
was healed from that hour on. Thus Matthew 15: 21-28.
every time we give more than
we have to give we emulate Jesus
who gave to a faithful Phoenician
woman although she was not
a lost sheep of the house of Israel
she received in faith her daughter
healed just like similar faith encounter
a Roman centurion from Capernaum
who believed from a distance Jesus
could heal because he had authority
and in faith the manservant was healed Matthew 8: 5-13.
God gives authority as God has chosen
Jesus cared even when his disciples
thought Jesus should not it was Jesus
who miracle feed hungry five thousand
every time Jesus cared when others
thought Jesus should not to Father God
Jesus was praying as every single time
we care when others think we should not
we are also praying as my own father
was often praying when others knew it not
Inspired by the poem ‘You’re Praying’ by Eric Cockrell.
poem by Terence George Craddock
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