A Fart
Looking out at the beautiful night-sky filled with stars
I crossed my legs and gently farted.
I had a lot of beans with my evening meal
And I couldn't help it.
I suppose a lot of people would have thought it unacceptable,
But I simply farted.
I don't pretend to be a connossieur of art or beautiful things
But I do my best to respect what is
Considered pure and sacred.
I'm sorry that I farted, OK?
For God's sake, it was only a FART! ! !
poem by John Thorkild Ellison
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Related quotes
Disgusting
I sighed and wept, then I farted
Thinking of my dear departed,
Imagine how upset I felt
That she couldn't stand the way I smelt!
I haven't had a bath for years,
But surely that's no cause for tears?
If a man can't smell like a rotting bin
What kind of world are we living in?
I reserve the right to fart at will
And burp whenever I've had my fill!
If you don't think that this is fair
You can take your posh ideas elsewhere!
poem by John Thorkild Ellison
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Farting Is Such Sweet Sorry
he couldn't help
but laugh
about his recent
encounter of the third kind
when after the kissing and the hugging
instead of the usual
bye bye
(the parting should have been ok but he..uhhumm)
he farted.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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My Dolly's not Parton
Your just annoyed cause I'm not another singer
your annoyed cause I'm not afraid to put up my middle finger
I'm not afriad to take you on tv just to beat you up on Jerry Springer.
Your still lay on my bed with your legs tied back behind your head
whats worse is that the smells starting to linger
I'm gonna make like a tree and leave before you wake up and call me a minger
this time isn't as worse as the last time, cause the last time
erm, I accidently farted while we were in a 69
and I followed through
the curry I told you I had before we did it surely must have been the clue
its dangerous like dealing drugs around a cop
I suppose the only good thing was the fact that you were on top
the other way around sure would have been funny
you can't complain, you couldn't complain I would have trippled your money
I don't bite I just sting like a bee if I don't get the hooney
you float like a butterfly and thats probably why you got something runny
I think we could make it work don't you think its makeable
baby come on your my doll your beautiful, your inflatable.
poem by Daniel McCann
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Bitter Sweet
Slowly we touched
quickly we parted
our desire was great
but then i farted.
poem by David Keig
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Which Life Do You Live?
Most people are so unaccustomed to speak the truth.
For many of them...
This is all they know.
A tradition of sorts.
Passed through the family,
As common as gas is passed.
With each scent identified by the doer.
~Women 'poot' they do not fart! ~
Well...
I knew a few women who 'stank'!
And it didn't matter who 'pooted' or farted.
Or if that even made the difference.
For those of them who are like that!
~Focus.
Stay focused, please.~
And,
If they began to become forthright and honest...
Most people would lose their friends.
Jeopardizing relationships of all kinds.
And many of them would end.
~Like marriages?
Perhaps? ~
While others would lose complete identities.
Since those lives lived have been totally prefabricated.
~Why are you staring at me?
Which life do you live? ~
My own!
And without references.
Preferences, yes!
But...
Without references!
~Why are you staring at me? ~
'Cause you all up in my 'grill'
Like you belong in it!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Beautiful Night
Beautiful night, how the stars, they so clearly shine
And the joyful moon how it mirrors back my smile
Oh, beautiful night, you're good to a heart like mine
Oh, beautiful night, you've made this long road worthwhile
Beautiful night, glow of the city behind me
Smile, I, with my heart at peace and my mind at ease
Oh, beautiful night, tranquility sets me free
Oh, beautiful night, I dream of moments like these
Beautiful night and all seems so right with the world
Questions come later; decisions, future doth hold
Oh, beautiful night, for now I watch the sky twirl
Oh, beautiful night, I wait for light to behold
Yet, in the stillness of evening I dream these dreams
That the beauty of this night is all that it seems
poem by Danny Speicher
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Funmilola
SHE IS SO BEAUTIFUL THAT YOU WILL WANT TO KEEP LOOKING AT HER, HER SMILE BRING SMILE TO EVERY LIPS.HER EYES WONT EVER MAKE HER WANT TO LIE.HER BEAUTY IS LIKE A ROSE IN FULL BLOOM, SHE IS SO BEAUTIFUL THAT WHEN OUR CREATOR THOUGHT OF BEAUTY HE SAW ONLY HER.SHE IS WONDERFULY MADE, GOD MADE HER SMILE OF THE SUNSHINE, AND HE MAOLDED HER HEART OF PURE GOLD, IN HER EYES HE PLACED BRIGHT SHINING STARS, IN HER CHEEKS FAIR ROSE YOU SEE.SHE IS SO BEAUTIFUL THAT IF A THOUSAND PAINTER WORK FOR A MILLION YEARS THEY COULD NOT CREATE A WORK OF ART AS BEAUTIFUL AS HER.SHE IS AS BEAUTIFUL AS VIRGIN SAND, SHE IS AS BEAUTIFUL AS RAINBOW FULL OF COLOURS, SHE IS AS BEAUTIFUL AS STARS FILLED THE SKY, SHE IS AS BEAUTIFUL AS BLOOMING FLOWER.OH BEAUTIFUL HER NAME WAS CALLED, SHE IS SO BEAUTIFUL, SHE SPEAK OF BEAUTY, SHE SLEEP IN BEAUTY, , SHE WALK IN BEAUTY, SHE LIVE IN BEAUTY.SHE IS SO BEAUTIFUL THAT THEIR IS NO FLOWER THAT CAN BE COMPARED TO HER BEAUTY, SHE IS REINCANATION OF AN ANGEL, FAIREST OF ALL, GODESS OF BEAUTIES, EXQUISITE BEAUTY LIKE SUNSHINE.
poem by Tijani Adebowale Destiny
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Everyone Lies
“Lie not me”
Think again:
Everyone lies
Every day
Every night
All your life
How do you lie?
When:
You exaggerate
Brag
Aggrandize
PontificateWithhold love, affection
Do something you don’t want to do
Don’t do something you want to do
Pray for some-thing
Fake orgasm
Masturbate and fake orgasm (Just kidding)
Tell children Santa Claus and Tooth Fairy are real
Dress up when you want to wear sweats
Make excuses for being late
Look in the mirror and see what’s not there
Cheat at cards
Park in handicap space without permit
Smile when you don’t feel like it
Frown when you want to smile
Ask for senior discount before you’re a senior
Tell Aunt Tillie her blue hair is beautiful
Say “The check is in the mail”
Wear hat to cover your bald spot
Say grace when all you want to do is eat
Vote for the lesser of two evils
Mark voters pamphlet
Say “Officer I was only doing 55”
Say “The dog farted not me”
Play the “Blame-game”
Deny anything
Talk without listening
Say “That’s not my Playboy magazine”
Say “I never masturbate”
Say “I’m fine” when you’re not
Had enough?
Everyone lies!
poem by Ray Lucero
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Beautiful (4/14/2010)
Beautiful you, beautiful me,
Beautiful us,
Every time we walk there
Always a beautiful sun.
We have a beautiful daughter,
Beautiful house.
Everyone see us as
Beautiful people.
I never thought I would be with a
Beautiful man.
It a beautiful day please won’t
You stay my beautiful man.
poem by juggalette Tiffany ann
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Purgatory
Beautiful people - got their beautiful lives - got their
Beautiful husbands - got their beautiful wives - got their
Beautiful bankers - got their beautiful lawyers
All things bright and beautiful
The beautiful people are sent to destroy us
Beautiful people - got their beautiful kids - got their
Beautiful schools where the beautiful other half live - got their
Beautiful futures in their beautiful professions
All things bright and beautiful
The beautiful people got the money for the lessons
I'm living in purgatory - I know what purgatory is
This ain't no sanctuary - This ain't no way to live
You gotta have a sense of humour - you gotta know how to laugh at it
Cos, I'm living in Purgatory 'n anything's better than this
Beautiful people got their beautiful clothes - got their
Beautiful mansions - down their beautiful country roads - got their
Beautiful Doctors - in their beautiful surgeries
All things bright and beautiful
The beautiful people like a little privacy
I'm living in purgatory - I know what purgatory is
This ain't no sanctuary - This ain't no way to live
You gotta have a sense of humour - you gotta know how to laugh at it
Cos, I'm living in Purgatory 'n anything's better than this
Beautiful losers on their beautiful estates got their
beautiful job centres on the beautiful welfare wait and wait
Beautiful dreamers - out of their beautiful skulls
All things are bright and beautiful
As long as they're beautiful, people stay beautiful.
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
I'm living in purgatory - I know what purgatory is
This ain't no sanctuary - This ain't no way to live
You gotta have a sense of humour - you gotta know how to lau
song performed by by Ian Hunter
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Ignorance Is Beautiful
She taught me two things,
‘Ignorance and Beautiful.'
One day, she told me,
'Let me tell you,
The meaning of Beautiful.
God is beautiful,
Nature is beautiful,
Life is beautiful,
Love is beautiful,
Care is beautiful,
Share is beautiful,
Understanding is beautiful,
Trust is beautiful,
Faith is beautiful,
Passion is beautiful,
Compassion is beautiful,
Air is beautiful,
Water is beautiful,
Earth is beautiful,
Fire is beautiful,
Energy is beautiful,
Here is beautiful,
There is beautiful,
Everywhere is beautiful,
Everyone is beautiful,
Everything is beautiful.'
I had to intervene,
'Looks the universe is beautiful,
But what is most beautiful? '
The reply comes full and straight,
'Ignorance is awesomely beautiful.'
Copyright © 2012 Sanjeev Kumar
poem by Sanjeev Kumar
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Ride
We first met on a golden night
As the moon radiated love light
On the dock of the bay.
Somewhere between the real deal and an illusion
We lay unapologetically
Stroking each others lack of responsibility.
'I want to be a poet,'
She said looking over the mountain,
'I want to be a hippy,'
She said checking out me natty dread,
'I want to be political,'
She whispered as she admired my scars,
'I may not look it, but I'm really oppressed,'
She said smiling,
Handing me her welfare book.
The sea lassoed the shore
Time and night hovered towards daylight
And bellyfilled foxes sniffed their way home.
She put the blanket over her head
Farted, and fell asleep.
The next time I saw her
She was trying to find The Goddess of Plenty,
Desperately seeking the freeway
And after me money.
'It's different for women,' she said
'We can use men for their bodies
Men do it to us all the time.'
The next time I saw her
She ran over me with her wheelchair.
poem by Benjamin Zephaniah
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Slides Of Beauty
a beautiful horse
in the same manner that there is
also a beautiful cat
a beautiful rat and a beautiful
fish, a beautiful woman
like another beautiful man,
a beautiful mountain
a beautiful river
so many things and people
beautiful today
like the leaves of the
fan
cooling and refreshing
my taste and
quest for beauty.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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Beautiful Music
Before I knew that I was blessed
When I was just like the rest of the people
Who never let dreams in their minds
Music would play and say
Maybe you're wastin' your time
Before I knew what good could be
When I couldn't see the need or the reason
For trusting in me or my star
Music would play and say
Hey, what a dummy you are!
And when I heard all the words about passion
Singin' to me about love of a fashion
That I never heard anywhere else
That's when I said,
"Gotta get some of that for myself"
And when I heard about hurtin' and healin'
Beautiful words about beautiful feelings
What lots of believin' could do
Beautiful music, I knew it just had to be true
You're beautiful
Beautiful Music
Beautiful Music
Beautiful Music
Beautiful Music
Beautiful Music
Before I saw my life in lights
When I couldn't taste the nights I was missin'
I'd listen alone in my bed
And music would sing to me
Things no one else even said
And when I heard all the words about passion
Singin' to me about love of a fashion
That I never heard anywhere else
That's when I said,
"Gotta get some of that for myself"
And when I heard about hurtin' and healin'
Beautiful words about beautiful feelings
What lots of believin' could do
Beautiful music, I knew it just had to be true
You're beautiful
Beautiful Music
Beautiful Music
Beautiful Music
Beautiful Music
Beautiful Music
Beautiful, Beautiful Music
Beautiful, Beautiful, Beautiful Music
Beautiful, Beautiful Music
Beautiful, Beautiful, Beautiful Music
Beautiful, Beautiful Music
Beautiful, Beautiful Music
-acapo
song performed by by Barry Manilow
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Effluvium
Silent but deadly in effect
some one has farted quietly
There is no way we can detect
just which one of us is guilty.
The lift is carrying six of us
and everyone looks innocent
Nobody wants to make a fuss
but everyone is discontent..
The lift cuts out as usual
and tempers now begin to fray
We try to keep it casual
but someone is compelled to say.
It’s bad enough to be confined.
Without this stench I would not mind
Six frozen faces all agree
but one is smiling secretly.
At last the lift reaches ground floor
and everyone makes for the door.
The culprit makes his get away
so ends another stinking day.
21-Nov-07
poem by Ivor Or Ivor.e Hogg
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Pretty Beautiful
Beautiful rainbow
Its colourful style
If only upside down
Reminds me of your smile
Beautiful Sunset
It made me stare
Rich in bright goldness
Reminds me of your hair
Beautiful Moon
Shining from space
Shining so bright
Reminds me of your face
Beautiful Stars
Filling the sky
Luminously glowing
Reminds me of your eyes
Beautiful Guitar
Sweet acoustic melodies
Its perfect toned curves
Reminds me of your body
Beautiful Night
Filled with twinkling stars
Reminds me of.
How pretty you are!
poem by Le Tu Quang
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Beautiful Boy
Close your eyes, have no fear,
The monster's gone, he's on the run,
And your daddy's here.
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful boy.
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful boy.
Before you go to sleep, say a little prayer,
Ev'ry day, in ev'ry way
It's getting better and better.
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful boy.
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful boy.
Out on the ocean, sailing away,
I can hardly wait to see you come of age
But i guess we'll both just have to be patient.
'cause it's a long way to go,
A hard row to hoe,
Yes, it's a long way to go but in the meantime.
Before you cross the street, take my hand,
Life is what happens to you
While you're busy making other plans.
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful boy.
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful boy.
Before you go to sleep, say a little prayer,
Ev'ry day, in ev'ry way
It's getting better and better.
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful boy.
Darling, darling, darling, darling, sean.
Good night, sean,
See you in the morning.
song performed by by Yoko Ono
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Beautiful Boy
Close your eyes, have no fear,
The monster's gone, he's on the run,
And your daddy's here.
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful boy.
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful boy.
Before you go to sleep, say a little prayer,
Ev'ry day, in ev'ry way
It's getting better and better.
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful boy.
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful boy.
Out on the ocean, sailing away,
I can hardly wait to see you come of age
But i guess we'll both just have to be patient.
'cause it's a long way to go,
A hard row to hoe,
Yes, it's a long way to go but in the meantime.
Before you cross the street, take my hand,
Life is what happens to you
While you're busy making other plans.
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful boy.
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful boy.
Before you go to sleep, say a little prayer,
Ev'ry day, in ev'ry way
It's getting better and better.
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful boy.
Darling, darling, darling, darling, sean.
Good night, sean,
See you in the morning.
song performed by by Yoko Ono
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Holidays with the family
Johnny wants a brand new car
Susie wants to hit the bar
Mindy wants to be a star
Cindy just goes too far
I just flew in from mars
Sit at the table and eat some turkey
My family only likes beef jerky
They really are quite quirky
Aunt Jane, she`s just a pain
Uncle Jack just follows the pack
Jim just hits on Kim
Happy holidays to him
Has anyone seen Tim
He`s in the pool taking a swim
Where`s everyone been?
When the tree still needs to be trimmed
Uncle Jerry just farted downwind
Uncle bill drank all the gin
Fat Jim needs to hit the gym
Family dinner with all the winners
Oh boy can`t wait to finish
Before mom starts a fire
No one can extinguish
poem by Joseph Whelan
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My People
The night is beautiful,
So the faces of my people.
The stars are beautiful,
So the eyes of my people.
Beautiful, also, is the sun.
Beautiful, also, are the souls of my people.
poem by Langston Hughes
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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