Bad Santa
Stuck in a chimney
high above ground
A burglar called out
He couldn't go up nor down.
He'd stolen some money
and pilfered some clothes.
then, by way of egress,
up the chimney he rose.
But that move only works
with a suit of red Clothes
on one night a year
if you finger your nose.
He got stuck half way up
and he couldn't get down.
The fire Department
had to rescue this clown.
He'd broken in through a window
and jumped down to the floor
If only he'd thought
to go out the side door.
He was covered in soot
from his cap to his feet.
He's our Darwin Award
winner for this week!
I heard him exclaim
as they booked him that night
I sure am a dumb-ass
(That at least he got right)
A burglar in Atlanta had to be rescued by the fire department after an ill fated attempt to mimic Santa Claus
poem by John F. McCullagh
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
And Santa Got Stuck In The Chimney
It was Christmas Eve
and across the rooftops,
he flew, popping down chimneys here and there
delivering presents and good cheer.
Awakening the dreams of better days
as he and his reindeers and sled
sped on their way.
He came to a chimney
whose opening was small.
As he tried to get down old Santa got stuck.
He wriggled and struggled,
but to no avail.
He was firmly stuck
in a chimney on Christmas Eve.
Oh my, what was he going to do?
He still had lots of presents to deliver.
He whistled for Rudolph
the bright red-nosed reindeer
to find a rope to pull him out of there.
Rudolph nodded twice
with his nose so bright.
A half an hour passed
then Rudolph returned.
He tied the rope to the sleigh
and then passed the other end down to Santa
wedged in the chimney.
Santa grabbed the rope
and held on tight.
The reindeer gave
the sleigh a tug
and few up into the air.
Santa came out of the chimney
with a big pop
followed closely
by big cloud of soot.
Once free he carried on again,
only this time
he used magic
to get down the tight chimneys
he found, as he flew on his way
with a jolly Ho Ho Ho.
So, that concludes the story
of one Christmas Eve
when Santa while doing his rounds
got stuck down a chimney.
Now all that is left to be said
is a Merry Christmas to all
and a very, very Happy New Year
in the year ahead.
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Christmas Story 'believe
she was awoken with a loud thunderous sound
she jumped up and looked around.
it can't be santa claus? it just can't be.
mommy did'nt even have money to buy a tree.
she heard the sound one more time
and upon her roof they did climb.
the little pitter patter of hooves
above her head
made her turn and jump out of bed.
she ran to the window and
looked to the roof
she wanted to tell her mother
she did have the proof.
she saw something red
moving to the chimney
then she knew it had to be.
that santa claus is not only
in our hearts and minds
and will live throughout all time.
all children are supposed
to be asleep.
but through half closed eyes
they would peak.
she then heard the sounds in
the room below.
as she opened the door very slow.
to her surprise there was a tree
decorated 'oh so beautifully'.
and there under the tree
there was gifts galore
who would think - that they were poor.
as she started to look around
at the fireplace he was found.
he was having the milk and cookies
that were left that night.
' oh my gosh what a beautiful sight'.
he then put his finger to his nose
and just like the book
up the chimney he rose.
she went back to her room, and climbed
back into her bed, said her prayers
and laid down her head.
she awoke the next morning
thinking it was a dream.
when she heard her mother scream.
how is this possible? how can it be?
'all these presents, and with a tree.'
as she ran to her mothers side
the tears started to fill her eyes.
i don't know who did this? i have no clue
and i don't know what i should do.
she then told her what she heard
and saw the night before
when she opened up her bedroom door.
as we opened up the first package
from under the tree
we saw a metal frame with one word.
BELIEVE
now we put this question to you.
do you believe? is this story true?
poem by Louis Rams
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Santa Claus
Santa Claus
Santa Claus
Up and down the chimney
Santa Claus is coming
Its the time of the year
Oh! Yes, Santa Claus is near
Lots of presents and toys
For my good girls and boys
Santa Claus
Santa Claus
Up and down the reindeers
Santa Claus is flying
Get out your Christmas tree
His presents are for free
Made by his elves
working hard in the northpole
Make sure your Xmas stockings
do not have any holes
Santa Claus
Santa Claus
Up and down the chimney
Santa Claus is coming
Copyright 2005 - Sylvia Chidi
poem by Sylvia Chidi
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Santas Beard
I wanna meet santa claus, the real real santa
I wanna meet santa claus, the real real santa
I wanna see santa claus, the real real santa
He wants to meet ol santa claus
I took my brother to the department store
He wanted to show santa his christmas list
He stood in line and he shook like a leaf
Hes only five and a half goin on six
He said, is that (that santa) really santa claus,
Really really (the real santa) santa claus?
Is that (that santa) really santa claus, really really santa?
(I hope he doesnt pull santas beard)
Is that (that santa) really santa claus,
Really really (the real santa) santa?
Hope he thinks thats santa claus
I picked him up and put him on santas lap
And then he pulled the pillow out of his shirt
He yanked the beard right on off of his chin
And in his eyes I could see he was hurt
He said, youre not (not santa) really santa claus,
Youre really not (the real santa) santa claus
Youre not (not santa) really santa claus,
Youre really not santa (he shouldnta pulled santas beard)
Youre not (not santa) santa claus,
Youre really not (the real santa) santa
Hes just helpin santa claus
Hes just helpin (helpin santa) santa claus,
The real (the real santa) real santa
Hes helpin (helpin santa) santa claus,
The real (the real santa) real santa
Hes just helpin (helpin santa) santa claus,
The real (the real santa) real santa
Hes just helpin santa claus
Hes just helpin (helpin santa) santa claus,
The real (the real santa) real santa
Hes just helpin (helpin santa) santa claus,
The real (he shouldnta pulled santas beard) real santa
Hes just helpin (helpin santa) santa claus,
The real (the real santa) real santa
Hes just helpin santa claus
song performed by by Beach Boys
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Night Before Christmas
Ribbons and paper cover the floor
It's been a good Christmas, presents galore
Everyone's happy, I'm happy, too
Cause oh, what a night
Oh, what a night
Night before Christmas I had with you
Frost on the window, snow on the ground
Holiday spirit, holiday sounds
Everyone's thankful, I'm thankful, too
Cause oh, what a night
Oh, what a night
Night before Christmas I had with you
It all started underneath that mistletoe
While we were waiting up
To help ol' Santa Claus
We were making merry
In ways we'd never thought of
Then we heard those sleigh bells
Ol' Santa almost caught us
No we didn't take pictures
But I'll always remember
One very special twenty-fourth day of December
Cause oh, what a night
Oh, what a night
Night before Christmas I had with you
It all started underneath that mistletoe
While we were waiting up
To help ol' Santa Claus
We were making merry
In ways we'd never thought of
Then we heard those sleigh bells
Ol' Santa almost caught us
If we don't do it next year
Honey, I'm sure gonna miss it
Why don't we make it a new Yuletide tradition
Cause oh, what a night
Oh, what a night
Night before Christmas I had with you
Cause oh, what a night
Oh, what a night
Night before Christmas I had with you
song performed by by Toby Keith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Santa Baby
Santa baby, slip a sable under the tree, for me
Ive been an awful good girl
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight
Santa baby, an out-of-space convertible too, light blue
Ill wait up for you dear
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight
Think of all the fun Ive missed
Think of all the fellas that I havent kissed
Next year I could be oh so good
If youd check off my christmas list
Boo doo bee doo
Santa honey, I wanna yacht and really thats
Not a lot
Ive been an angel all year
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight
Santa cutie, theres one thing I really do need, the deed
To a platinum mine
Santa cutie, and hurry down the chimney tonight
Santa baby, Im filling my stocking with a duplex, and checks
Sign your x on the line
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight
Come and trim my christmas tree
With some decorations bought at tiffanys
I really do believe in you
Lets see if you believe in me
Boo doo bee doo
Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing, a ring
I dont mean a phone
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight
Hurry down the chimney tonight
Hurry down the chimney tonight
song performed by by Madonna
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Santa Baby
Santa baby
Just slip a sable under the tree for me
Been an awful good girl
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight
Santa baby
A 54-convertable too, light blue
I'll wait up for you, dear
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight
Think of all the fun I've missed
Think of all the fellows that I haven't kissed
Next year I could be just as good
If you'll check out my Christmas list
Santa baby I want a yacht and really that's not a lot
Been an angel all year
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight
Santa honey
One little thing I really need, the deed
To a platinum mine
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight
Santa cutie
Fill my stocking with a duplex and cheques
Sign your X on the line
Santa cutie, and hurry down the chimney tonight
Come and trim my Christmas tree
With some decorations bought from Tiffany's
I really do believe in you
Let's see if you believe in me
Santa baby
Forgot to mention one little thing, a ring
I don't mean on the phone
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight
Hurry down the chimney tonight
Hurry
Tonight
song performed by by Kylie Minogue
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Santa Baby
Written by eartha kitt
Santa baby,
Just slip a sable under the tree
For me
Been an awful good girl
Santa baby,
So hurry down the chimney tonight
Santa baby,
A 54 convertible too
Light blue
Ill wait up for you, dear
Santa baby,
So hurry down the chimney tonight
Think of all the fun Ive missed
Think of all the fellas that I havent kissed
Next year I could be just as good
If youll check off my christmas list
Santa baby,
I want a yacht and really thats not
A lot
Been an angel all year
Santa baby,
So hurry down the chimney tonight
Santa honey,
One little thing I really need
The deed
To a platinum mine
Santa baby,
So hurry down the chimney tonight
Santa cutie,
And fill my stocking with a duplex
And checks
Sign your x on the line
Santa baby,
So hurry down the chimney tonight
Come and trim my christmas tree
With some decorations bought at tiffanys
I really do believe in you
Lets see if you believe in me
Santa baby,
Forgot to mention one little thing
A ring
I dont mean on the phone
Santa baby,
So hurry down the chimney tonight
Hurry down the chimney tonight
Hurry...tonight
song performed by by Vonda Shepard
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Santa Looked A Lot Like Daddy
(Buck Owens & Don Rich)
Well, Santa looked a lot like daddy
Or daddy looked alot like him
It's not the way I had him pictured
Santa was a much too thin
He didn't come down the chimney
So momma musta let him in
Yeah, Santa looked a lot like daddy
Or daddy looked alot like him.
Well they thought I was a sleepin'
They thought I was tucked in bed
They never thought that I'd come a peepin'
Or that I'd hear what was said
Santa put his arm around momma
And momma put her arm around him
So if Santa Claus ain't daddy
Then I'm a gonna tell on them.
Well, Santa looked a lot like daddy
Or daddy looked alot like him
It's not the way I had him pictured
Santa was a much too thin
He didn't come down the chimney
So momma musta let him in
Well, Santa looked a lot like daddy
Or daddy looked alot like him.
I never saw Dancer or Prancer
I never heard the sleigh bells ring
I never saw the red nosed reindeer
Like they show on the TV screen
But he sure bought alot of presents
So Santa Claus he must have been
Well, he sure looked a lot like daddy
And daddy looked alot like him.
Well, Santa looked a lot like daddy
Or daddy looked alot like him
It's not the way I had him pictured
Santa was a much too thin
He didn't come down the chimney
So momma musta let him in
Well, Santa looked a lot like daddy
Or daddy looked alot like him.
Santa looked a lot like daddy
Or daddy looked alot like
Daddy looked alot like him...
song performed by by Travis Tritt
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Smokeless Chimney
climb as you go, walk down as you enter
the open fire stock and find the sleepless
night of the foot print of Santa gift
look the smokestack gently wait the sleigh;
as the chilled midst murmur waiting each
rapped sack display. in the Christmas tree
solemnly stand of the beautiful light of the
night
wild lips tangle with rapid tongue, the
sweet chocolate find its fun on its colorful
rapper where every eyes always say wow!
oh! easy to know in every step on the
snow, even in the sand the great Santa
always look to peep with in the snow so
gently he shows
oh! Santa Claus, the silent chimney of
the houses come and see the happy faces
of the children, willing to change for
a little gift of toys and candies to bring; so
lovely to see worthy as the night sleep
waiting to free the Santa Claus in the home
I’ll like to be
Thank you dear Santa Claus my One …
poem by Antonio Liao
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Night Before Christmas
Written by jim mcbride, sam hogin, and nelson larkin
Ribbons and paper cover the floor, its been a great christmas with presents
Galore
Everyones happy and Im happy, too
Oh, what a night, oh, what a night, night before christmas I had with you
Frost on the window, snow on the ground, holiday spirit, holiday sounds
Everyones thankful and Im thankful, too
Oh, what a night, oh, what a night, night before christmas I had with you
It all started underneath that mistletoe when we were waiting up just to help
Ole santa claus
We were making merry in ways wed never thought of when we heard those sleigh
Bells and ole santa almost caught us
We didnt take no pictures, but I still remember one very special
Twenty-fourth day of december
Oh, what a night, oh, what a night, night before christmas I had with you
It all started underneath that mistletoe while we were waiting up to help ole
Santa clause
We were making merry in ways wed never thought of when we heard those sleigh
Bells and ole santa almost caught us
If we dont do this nect year, honey, Im sure gonna miss it
Why dont we make it a new yuletide tradition
Oh, what a night, oh, what a night, night before christmas I had with you
Oh, what a night, oh, what a night, night before christmas I had with you
song performed by by Alabama
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Tell Me A Story
Tell Me A Story
I believe oh I believe
All things are possible on Christmas Eve
Ok
It was the night before Christmas
And all through the house
Not a creature was stirring
Not even a mouse
The stockings was hung
By the chimney with care
In hopes that St. Nick
Soon would be there
Me and my sisters and brothers
Getting ready for bed
Can't wait to get toys
For all the break bread
Mom's in plent jammies in the middle
And pop's still
Santa's coming eating
The cookies and milk
Tell Me A Story
I believe oh I believe
All things are possible
On Christmas Eve
Everytime I hear the rhyme
I love it even more
Tell me a story
About the night before
Could it be a dream
I think I heard a noise
Jumped out of bed
It's the no limit boys
I ran to the window
Creak creak
Bright red shin'nin
The new Huh-v
Snow in the south hmmm
That's kinda silly
Is it Santa Claus or is it
My uncle Willy
Know we play games
But this one feels weird
When I see eight
Shiny reindeer
Tell Me A Story
I believe oh I believe
All things are possible
On Christmas Eve
Everytime I hear the rhyme
I love it even more
Tell Me A Story
About the night before
Ok you wanna know check it out
Now santa called them by name
Dasher dancer prance
And they all came
Vixen comet cupid
eyes drooping
Low ears they looks like
They snooping
Can't forget
Donner and blits
Three kings
They carrying the gifts
Tell me a
I believe oh I believe
All things are possible
On Christmas Eve
Wish for it
You just might get it
Everytime I hear the rhyme
I love it even more
Tell Me A Story
About the night before
Wish for it
You just might get it
I couldn't believe
They were flying so high
To the moon and the stars
And the lonely sky
They went up and around
And sung as they flew
With the sleigh and the toys
And St. Nicholas too
Ain't about the gifts
But I'm glad Santa came
Thanks for the video games and the bling-bling
My lil' sister a bike and trains
I'm just glad for the love and things
So you better not shout
You better not pout
Y'all know what I'm talking about
Merry Christmas to all
And to all a good night
Yo Hilary bring the cords and lights
Tell Me A Story
Tell Me A Story
Wish for it
You just might get it
Tell Me A Story
I believe oh I believe
All things are possible
On Christmas Eve
Everytime I hear the rhyme
I love it even more
Tell Me A Story
About the night before
Wish for it
You just might get it
Tell Me A Story
song performed by by Hilary Duff
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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First Of All, Santa...The Roof Is Pitched
Dear Santa...
It is easier for me to accept I have been scammed,
Most of my life.
Than to continue playing the same mental games,
That you ride in a sleigh pulled by flying reindeer.
And that you land on my roof...
To then fit your enormous girth through a chimney.
First of all, Santa...
The roof is pitched.
And I doubt if you and your flying reindeer,
Could balance on it.
And the closest thing we have to a chimney,
Is a hole in the roof...
The landlord has been promising to fix,
Since my folks tried to pass off a stuffed chicken...
As a turkey for Thanksgiving a month ago.
However...
IF you are real and you find this note,
I am taping outside my window...
Leave me everything you think I deserve.
AND 'if' you do get this note without me hearing you,
I will believe everything about you I have ever heard.
You see,
My bedroom window is on the third floor.
And every night before I go to bed,
I would have a long talk with the angels there.
And I've been waiting to hear something from them,
To say negative about you.
But all they do is smile and walk through my walls at night.
And...
I bet you do the same thing!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Santa Baby
Santa baby, just slip a guitar under the tree for me
Been an awful good boy
Santa baby, hurry down the chimney tonight
Santa baby, a 54 convertible too, light blue
Yeah, Ill wait up for you dear
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight
Think of all the fun Ive missed
Think of all the girlies that I havent kissed
Next year I could be just as good
If youd check off my christmas list
Santa baby, I want a yacht and really thats not a lot
Ive been an angel all year
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight
Santa cutie, one little thing that I need, the deed
To a platinum mine
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight
Come and trim my christmas tree
With some decorations bought at tiffanys
I really do believe in you
Lets see if you believe in me too
Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing, a ring
Yeah, I dont mean on the phone
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight
Santa cutie, fill my stocking with a duplex, and checks
Sign your x on the line
Santa baby, now hurry down the chimney tonight
Think of all the fun Ive missed
Think of all the girlies that I couldve kissed
Next year I could be just as good
If youd check off my christmas list
Santa baby, forgot to mention just one little thing, a ring
I dont mean on the phone
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight
song performed by by Everclear
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Santa Looked Alot Like Daddy
Chorus:
Well, santa looked a lot like daddy
Or daddy looked a lot like him
Its not the way I had him pictured
Santa was much too thin
He didnt come down the chimney
So mama must have let him in
Santa looked a lot like daddy
Or daddy looked a lot like him
Well, they thought I was fast-a-sleppin
They thought that I was tucked in his bed
They never thought Id come a-peepin
Or that Id hear what was said
Santa put his arm around mama
And mama put her arm around him
So if santa claus aint daddy
Well then Im a gonna tell on them
Repeat chorus:
I never saw dancer or prancer
I never heard the sleigh bells ring
I never saw a red-nosed reindeer
Like they show on the tv screen
But he sure brought lots of presents
So santa claus he must have been
Well he sure looked a lot like daddy
Or daddy looked a lot like him
Repeat chorus:
song performed by by Garth Brooks
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Burglar Dog
I have a dog called Harry,
He’s a Maltese-Poodle cross,
I don’t know how I got him -
(He saw me coming! – Of course!)
The little rat sleeps on my couch
And scatters his bones about,
His hair’s all over the washing pile
And I’m constantly kicking him out.
Then he goes for the doggy wounded look,
And lies in the sun, outside,
Rolls in the grass and the prickles, waits
For my temper to subside.
I say – ‘Who spilt the rubbish, then,
All over the kitchen floor? ’
He sniffs – ‘It was the Burglar Dog.’
- Refuses to say any more.
The Burglar Dog, the Burglar Dog!
That’s all that I ever hear,
Whenever my steak goes missing
It’s the Burglar Dog, I fear.
He comes in the house while I’m in bed,
And Harry’s asleep on the couch,
Opens my packet of crinkle chips
And sneaks them out of the house.
He comes and he chews my slippers up
While Harry’s away, outside,
Performing his own ablutions
So he tells me - Bless my eyes!
Crapping all over the garden path
Where I walk, no doubt it’s him!
‘Not me – must be the Burglar Dog!
You must have let him in! ’
I’ve never seen this Burglar Dog
But I’m going to lie in wait,
Set up my digital camera then,
And catch this dog in the act;
But if it happens to be pure white,
All fluffy and one foot tall,
Harry will have some explaining to do -
Or I’ll take away his ball(s) !
25 December 2007
poem by David Lewis Paget
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I Believe In Santa Claus
I believe in santa claus
I believe in santa claus
I believe theres always hope when all seems lost
And I believe in santa claus
I believe in santa claus, Ill tell you why I do
cause I believe that dreams and plans and wishes can come true
I believe in miracles, I believe in magic too
Oh I believe in santa claus and I believe in you
I believe in family, in country and in smiles
I believe in turnin negatives to positives in life
I believe in lookin farther up the farther down we get
I believe when someone hurts us we should forgive and forget
And I believe in santa claus
I believe in santa claus
I believe love should prevail at any cost
And I believe in santa claus
I believe in saying what you mean and meaning what you say
I believe a better attitude can make a better way
And I believe in viewing life as a journey that were on
And lookin at our troubles as another stepping stone
And I believe that everything in life is what its meant to be
I believe there is a God somewhere although hes hard to see
I believe I am so therefore I should do all that I can
To be a better piece in the puzzle of gods plan
And I believe in santa claus
I believe in santa claus
I believe theres always hope when all seems lost
And I believe in santa claus
Let the little children sing it
I believe in santa claus, I believe in santa claus
I believe in santa claus, I believe in santa claus
Let the whole world sing it with us
I believe in santa claus, I believe in santa claus
I believe in santa claus, I believe in santa claus
Let the whole world sing it with us
I believe in santa claus
I believe in santa claus
I believe theres always hope when all seems lost
I believe in santa claus
song performed by by Dolly Parton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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What The Chimney Sang
Over the chimney the night-wind sang
And chanted a melody no one knew;
And the Woman stopped, as her babe she tossed,
And thought of the one she had long since lost,
And said, as her teardrops back she forced,
'I hate the wind in the chimney.'
Over the chimney the night-wind sang
And chanted a melody no one knew;
And the Children said, as they closer drew,
'`Tis some witch that is cleaving the black night through,
`Tis a fairy trumpet that just then blew,
And we fear the wind in the chimney.'
Over the chimney the night-wind sang
And chanted a melody no one knew;
And the Man, as he sat on his hearth below,
Said to himself, 'It will surely snow,
And fuel is dear and wages low,
And I`ll stop the leak in the chimney.'
Over the chimney the night-wind sang
And chanted a melody no one knew;
But the Poet listened and smiled, for he
Was Man and Woman and Child, all three,
And said, 'It is God`s own harmony,
This wind we hear in the chimney.'
poem by Francis Bret Harte
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Stuck In A Closet With Vanna White
Doctor, every night I have the strangest dreams
Doctor, listen to me, tell me what this means
First Im goin shoppin in my underwear
Then all of sudden Im floating in mid air
My lips fall off and everybody starts to stare
Donuts and hot dogs are flying everywhere
Now doctor, wait a minute, you aint heard nothin yet
Next comes the part that I wont ever forget
Now Im bein followed by these russian spies
They give me some velcro, and an order of fries
Suddenly Im bowling on the starship enterprise
I fall down a hole and thats when I realize
I am stuck in a closet with vanna white
Im stuck in a closet with vanna white
Night after night after night after night
All right!
Doctor, wont you tell me, am I going insane
Was it something I ate or something wrong with my brain
See, Im naked in church when I meet a dinosaur
Try to run, but my feet have been nailed to the floor
Then a midget pushes me through a revolving door
And Im back in the very same place I was before
Now Im stuck in a closet with vanna white
Im stuck in a closet with vanna white
Night after night after night after night
And I cant bust out and I cant break free
And its gettin just a little too stuffy here for me
And I cant go home and I cant get loose
And I try to escape but its just no use
And I cant ever leave and I cant ever win
And were runnin outta air and the walls are closin in
And I cant go back and I cant get through
But vanna since youre here, why dont you let me buy a vowel from you
Come on vanna, come on!
Ow, buhhh
Doctor, all those crazy dreams have started again
Thats right, I even wake up screaming now and then
See, Im coming home from work but I forgot my address
Im half an hour late for my algebra test
Then some slimy alien jumps out of my chest
And Im falling and falling and I guess you know the rest
I am stuck in a closet with vanna white
Im stuck in a closet with vanna white
Night after night after night after night
I am stuck in a closet with vanna white
Stuck in a closet with vanna white
N-n-n-night after night after night night night
Then Im stuck in a closet with vanna white (ya-ya ya-ya, ya-ya, ya, ya-ya)
Im stuck in a closet with vanna white
Night after night after night after night
I am stuck in a closet with vanna white (ya-ya ya-ya ya-ya ya-ya)
I am stuck in a closet with vanna white
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Early Works - The Spirit Of Christmas
The December wind howled outside
rattling the windows,
the children played on the floor
as the crimson glow of the fire
warmed the heart of the room.
In the corner stood a Christmas tree
sparingly decorated with tinsel and lights
but beneath were no presents in sight.
Jason watched his children
with sadness tinting his eyes
he knew how important
Christmas was to young lives.
He had tried to save through the year,
but there was always something needed
from the money he tried to save
clothes, food and shoes to wear.
Oh how he would have loved to see
them smile from ear to ear
instead of sadness in their eyes
for toys that wouldn’t be there.
He wished he hadn’t spent so much on petrol
when he was looking for a job
that he had walked the lonely miles
from refusal to rejection
and used the money to buy
his children a Christmas present collection.
The smiling face of his wife
cheered him little from his frown.
His thoughts were of his childhood
and the presents crowded around
the bottom of the tree,
of stockings filled with sweets, toys and fruit,
and creeping down the stairs at the first light of dawn
to see what Santa Claus had left.
Those were happy Christmases
not like this one so bare.
The children went to bed early
excitement filled the air
with the expectancy of presents under the tree,
which sadly would not be there.
Jason and his wife waited
until they were asleep
and then filled each stocking
with all that they could afford.
Then set about arranging
the few presents that they had
before they themselves retired to their bed.
The silence of the night
was disturbed by a rustling sound
of old iron chains
being dragged across the ground.
No one in the house heard it
as in sleep they lie
as in crept the spirit of a slave
from centuries gone by.
The ghost climbed the stairs
dragging his chains behind,
flitted from room to room
as if by some design.
Downstairs he hurled himself
in a sliding fashion
his moans were but a whisper
that could be mistaken as the wind.
He then flew around again
over everywhere he’d been.
He flew around the Christmas tree
causing a few pine needles to fall
and as each needle hit the floor
a present appeared
until beneath the tree was no longer bare.
He rattled his chains again
this time they sounded like bells,
and then flew up the chimney
with muffled sooty yells.
The streaks of dawn broke the sky
the children woke with wonder
at the stocking on the end of the bed.
Stealing through the shadows
from the break of day,
they moved silently down the stairs
to the living room and the tree.
Unlike the night before
beneath the tree, you couldn’t see the floor
presents covered in multi-coloured paper
decorated the bottom of the tree.
Their faces lit up and they said
a lot of oohs and mees.
Jason woke to their joyful tones;
he looked at his wife in question
just as there came a sound
of laughter and running feet.
“Oh Mummy, Daddy
come see what Santa has brought.”
Said the little girl with golden curls
as she jumped up on their bed.
“Come and see, come and see.”
two other voices yelled.
Jason smiled and nodded
as the children returned downstairs.
With sighs, they threw back the covers
and followed the children down.
They stood in the living room doorway
with faces masked in question.
They looked at each other for answers,
neither had any to give,
just that their prayer had been heard
and that the spirit of Christmas
they now understood.
6 December 1983
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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