The Burglar Dog
I have a dog called Harry,
He’s a Maltese-Poodle cross,
I don’t know how I got him -
(He saw me coming! – Of course!)
The little rat sleeps on my couch
And scatters his bones about,
His hair’s all over the washing pile
And I’m constantly kicking him out.
Then he goes for the doggy wounded look,
And lies in the sun, outside,
Rolls in the grass and the prickles, waits
For my temper to subside.
I say – ‘Who spilt the rubbish, then,
All over the kitchen floor? ’
He sniffs – ‘It was the Burglar Dog.’
- Refuses to say any more.
The Burglar Dog, the Burglar Dog!
That’s all that I ever hear,
Whenever my steak goes missing
It’s the Burglar Dog, I fear.
He comes in the house while I’m in bed,
And Harry’s asleep on the couch,
Opens my packet of crinkle chips
And sneaks them out of the house.
He comes and he chews my slippers up
While Harry’s away, outside,
Performing his own ablutions
So he tells me - Bless my eyes!
Crapping all over the garden path
Where I walk, no doubt it’s him!
‘Not me – must be the Burglar Dog!
You must have let him in! ’
I’ve never seen this Burglar Dog
But I’m going to lie in wait,
Set up my digital camera then,
And catch this dog in the act;
But if it happens to be pure white,
All fluffy and one foot tall,
Harry will have some explaining to do -
Or I’ll take away his ball(s) !
25 December 2007
poem by David Lewis Paget
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
Harry Rag
Ah, tom is young and tom is bold
Tom is as bold as the knights of old
But whenever he gets in a bit of a jam
Theres nothing he wont do to get a harry rag
Harry rag, harry rag
Do anything just to get a harry rag
And he curses himself for the life hes led
And rolls himself a harry rag and puts himself to bed
Ah, toms old ma is a dying lass
Soon they all reckon shell be pushing up the grass
And her bones might ache and her skin might sag
But still shes got the strength to have a harry rag
Harry rag, harry rag
Do anything just to get a harry rag
And she curses herself for the life shes led
And rolls herself a harry rag and puts herself to bed
Ah, bless you tax man, bless you all
You may take some but you never take it all
But if I give it all, I wont feel sad
As long as I got enough to buy a harry rag
Harry rag, harry rag
Do anything just to get a harry rag
And I curse myself for the life Ive led
And roll myself a harry rag and put myself to bed
Ah, the smart young ladies of the land
Cant relax without a harry in their hand
And they light one and they boast and brag
So content because they got a harry rag
Harry rag, harry rag
Do anything just to get a harry rag
And theyll light one and theyll boast and brag
So content because they got a harry rag
Harry rag, harry rag
Ill do anything just to get a harry rag
And I curse myself for the life Ive led
And roll myself a harry rag and put myself to bed
song performed by by Kinks
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Harry Rag
Ah, tom is young and tom is bold
Tom is as bold as the knights of old
But whenever he gets in a bit of a jam
Theres nothing he wont do to get a harry rag
Harry rag, harry rag
Do anything just to get a harry rag
And he curses himself for the life hes led
And rolls himself a harry rag and puts himself to bed
Ah, toms old ma is a dying lass
Soon they all reckon shell be pushing up the grass
And her bones might ache and her skin might sag
But still shes got the strength to have a harry rag
Harry rag, harry rag
Do anything just to get a harry rag
And she curses herself for the life shes led
And rolls herself a harry rag and puts herself to bed
Ah, bless you tax man, bless you all
You may take some but you never take it all
But if I give it all, I wont feel sad
As long as I got enough to buy a harry rag
Harry rag, harry rag
Do anything just to get a harry rag
And I curse myself for the life Ive led
And roll myself a harry rag and put myself to bed
Ah, the smart young ladies of the land
Cant relax without a harry in their hand
And they light one and they boast and brag
So content because they got a harry rag
Harry rag, harry rag
Do anything just to get a harry rag
And theyll light one and theyll boast and brag
So content because they got a harry rag
Harry rag, harry rag
Ill do anything just to get a harry rag
And I curse myself for the life Ive led
And roll myself a harry rag and put myself to bed
song performed by by Morrissey
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Like The Burglar
Like the burglar who distracts
the guard dog with a piece of meat,
the poet, serving meager facts,
intends the words to be his treat.
The words are music that should wow
but their meanings’ mist and fog
if higher than the reader’s brow
may leave him barking like a dog.
TS Eliot in The Use of Poetry and the Use of Criticism, cited by Mark Ford reviewing Our Secret Discipline: Yeats and Lyric Form by Helen Vendler, compared the ostensible meaning of a poem to the bit of meat with which a burglar distract a guard dog.
3/22/08
poem by Gershon Hepner
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Debbie had to get up and slice me a thick piece of cake before she could answer. And I do mean thick. Harry Potter volume seven thick. I could have knocked out a burglar with this piece of cake. Once I tasted it, though, it seemed just the right size.
Maureen Johnson in Let It Snow (2012)
Submitted by Dan Costinaş
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Bad Santa
Stuck in a chimney
high above ground
A burglar called out
He couldn't go up nor down.
He'd stolen some money
and pilfered some clothes.
then, by way of egress,
up the chimney he rose.
But that move only works
with a suit of red Clothes
on one night a year
if you finger your nose.
He got stuck half way up
and he couldn't get down.
The fire Department
had to rescue this clown.
He'd broken in through a window
and jumped down to the floor
If only he'd thought
to go out the side door.
He was covered in soot
from his cap to his feet.
He's our Darwin Award
winner for this week!
I heard him exclaim
as they booked him that night
I sure am a dumb-ass
(That at least he got right)
A burglar in Atlanta had to be rescued by the fire department after an ill fated attempt to mimic Santa Claus
poem by John F. McCullagh
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Sensitive Burglar
Selecting in the dining-room
The silver of his choice,
The burglar heard from chamber gloom
A female voice.
As cold and bitter as a toad,
She spat a nasty name,
So even as his swag he stowed
He blushed for shame.
'You dirty dog!' he heard her say,
'I sniff your whisky stench.
I bet you've gambled half your pay,
Or blown it on a wench.
Begone from here, you rakehell boor!
You shame the human race.
What wife would pillow-share with your
Disgusting face!'
A tear the tender burglar shed,
Then indignation rose,
And swiftly striding to her bed
He said: 'I'm none of those.
I am a connoisseur in crime
And felonies I plan . . .
But otherwise, believe me I'm
A GENTLEMAN.'
poem by Robert William Service
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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When I was young and we got caught pinching apples, we got a smack from the local policeman. Today if that happened he would be sued. There is a tendency to punish the victim, not the criminal. If someone broke into my house or my mum's house, I worry that the burglar has more rights than me.
quote by Simon Cowell
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Harry the Wu
What can I do, Harry the Wu,
A policeman will come
And ask questions of you,
He'll pull out his book
And his pencil, too,
And look very sternly
At Harry the Wu.
Oh, Harry the Wu, what did you do,
While I was in bed
Going down with the flu,
I didn't get up until
Half past two,
And you're so impatient,
Harry the Wu.
I knew there was something that
I had to do,
I had to get up and feed
Harry the Wu,
That bowl in the fridge of
The left-over stew
Was meant for your dinner,
Harry the Wu.
Oh what can I do, Harry the Wu,
They'll probably lock you
Away in the zoo,
And then you will miss me
And I'll miss you too,
Life is a tragedy,
Harry the Wu.
I thought that you knew,
Harry the Wu,
That there are some things
You are not meant to do,
Now all that is left is
The Postman's shoe,
His hat and his bag
You have eaten them too.
What can I do, Harry the Wu,
You've ripped off the policeman's
Trousers, too,
You'd better go hide in
The chimney flu,
Stop wagging your tail at me
Harry the Wu.
13 April 2009
poem by David Lewis Paget
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.
quote by H.L. Mencken
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The faults of the burglar are the qualities of the financier.
quote by George Bernard Shaw
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A burglar who respects his art always takes his time before taking anything else.
quote by Henry Porter
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A visitor doesn't survive from a stick beat of a burglar.
Harry
you must be smellin' cherries and strawberries and peaches
and plums
roses and dandelions
special lovin' on the nite I spent with you
it was the best that I've had lately
but it didn't mean anything
and I will be glad when you stop callin' me
harry
don't wanna be your girlfriend
but boy when you want the lovin'
come and see me harry
swore my ever lasting true love to you
said that I need ya I want ya didn't I baby
but I was just kiddin' 'round
and I will be glad when you stop callin' my house
harry
don't wanna be your girlfriend
but boy when you want the lovin'
come and see me harry
it's a shame harry
cause you such a beautiful thing harry
you tell em that you love and I bet you do
but love's not my thing right now harry
all I wanna do is swing
and when you're ready
I'm here for you
please harry
stop callin' me
harry
don't wanna be your girlfriend
but boy when you want the lovin'
feel free to come and see me harry
song performed by by Macy Gray from The ID
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If I can go from burglar for the government to talk show host, you can go from entertainer to congressman.
quote by G. Gordon Liddy
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?
quote by Bill Maher
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Harry Truman
America needs you
Harry truman
Harry could you please come home
Things are looking bad
I know you would be mad
To see your favorite men
Prevail upon the land you love
Americas wondering
How we got here
Harry all we get is lies
Were gettin safer cars
Rocket ships to mars
From men whod sell us out
To get themselves a piece of power
Wed love to hear you speak your mind
In plain and simple ways
Call a spade a spade
Like you did back in the days
You would play piano
Each morning walk a mile
Speak of what was going down
With honesty and style
Americas calling
Harry truman
Harry you know what to do
The world is turnin round and losin lots of ground
Oh harry is there something we can do to save the land we love
Oh woah woah woah
Americas calling
Harry truman
Harry you know what to do
The world is turnin round
And losin lots of ground
Harry is there something we can do to save the land we love
Oh
Harry is there something we can do to save the land we love
Harry
Harry is there something we can do to save the land we love
song performed by by Chicago
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Mess Of A Man
Meet a man,
A man named Harry,
He's in need of a shave,
And it's quite scary,
He's got hair on his chest,
Hair on his back,
Hair on his ass,
And hair in his crack,
He leaves hair on the soap,
Hair on the floor,
Hair every place,
Including the store,
Harry, dear Harry,
Do something, please,
Your hair retains odor,
And you reek of cheese!
Look at your cat,
What will you do?
Your cat's hairballs,
They're the hairs from you!
No hope, it seems,
For your hairiness,
It'll just regrow,
So live in your mess.
poem by Maddy Jones
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Many of us have heard opportunity knocking at our door, but by the time we unhooked the chain, pushed back the bolt, turned two locks, and shuts off the burglar alarm - it was gone.
Housebreaker
'Hey! My dear fugitive friend
Why you idle outside?
Please come inside.
I am sorry there are no any valuables here
But I have a cheap bottle of liquor.
Let's join together for a toast.
One thing is certain that you are not a professional burglar
As it's a full moon night.'
poem by Nimal Dunuhinga
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Thief Of Hearts
(a. rich, j. friedman, j. kraus, h. hattler)
Producer: trevor horn
Album: wildest dreams (96)
Let me tell you about a man I knew
Yeah, I knew him all too well
My attitude has always been you can have me for tonight
But not for tomorrow
Its gonna cost you plenty, more than you can afford
More than you can borrow
Well I can make them fall in love just as easy as i
Pick their pockets hey
And when Ive done the deed I jump on a freight train
And make my getaway
Im a thief of hearts, a burglar in the night
Before they knew what hit them I was out of sight
Been a thief of hearts, now Im paying for my crimes
Cause now youre gone and stolen mine
I met you on a starry night, full moon in your eyes
Did something strange to me
I was all prepared to spin my web, take you for a ride
But there was a fork in the street
Well I didnt mean to fall in love, didnt practice the rules
That Ive been taught
You never get involved, never drop your defences
But this time I got caught
Im a thief of hearts, a burglar in the night
Before they knew what hit them I was out of sight
Been a thief of hearts, now Im paying for my crimes
Cause now youre gone and stolen mine
Thief of hearts, paying for my crimes
Thief of hearts, and now youve gone and stolen mine
Feels so good, I want more, it should be against the law
song performed by by Tina Turner
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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