The Char
It really is ridiculous
The lady's so meticulous
There's nothing that she misses
When she comes to clean the house;
She has the fastest duster
That anyone could muster
It's faster than a tom-cat
Who pursues a juicy mouse.
She's smart and very punctual
Fit and fully functional
At mopping I would swear
She has no equal in the land;
Attendance very steady
And always at the ready
Just why she chose to be a char
I do not understand.
Her talents are incredible
Her meals so very edible
A Jill of every trade
She's twice as good as any Jack;
And, glad of her employment,
She shares in her enjoyment,
And evidently loves it
As she keeps on coming back.
Written April 1996
poem by John Carter Brown
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
Jack And Jill
this is not the usual story of Jack and Jill,
this is reality
welcome. Jack married Jill
in 1985
the first year was bliss
until the second year
when Jack
was so pressured
in his work
and Jill who was left at
home
got so bored with nothing
to do
except to listen
to Jack's shifting
towards the corners
of insanity
and then one day
Jill cooked Chinese noddles
for their wedding anniversary
which of course
she did not recall
but Jack still had it vivid
in his mind
the expensive wedding gown
the diamond ring
and flashy car
and the well attended
grand reception
Jack went wild
and throw the hot noddles
in Jill's face
Jill went to the U.S.
married a white man
Jack finally landed
in a mental asylum
The house where they once
lived
got burned
nothing remained
except the vacant lot
foreclosed by
the bank
sad
Jack and Jill
did not live happily everafter
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Juicy Lucy
Every time I call her name shes right there by my side
Every time that I think its a change
Theres no place left to hide
This must be for real
This must be for real
This must be for real
It cant be a dream
Every time I blow my love
Shes knockin on my back door
Every time that I tear her clothes
She pulls me down some more
This must be for real
This must be for real
This must be for real
It cant be a dream
Juicy, juicy, juicy, juicy lucy
Juicy, juicy, juicy, juicy lucy
Juicy, juicy, juicy, juicy lucy
Juicy, juicy, juicy, juicy lucy
Scary woman put me under, under her spell
Never tell, if I risk it I ____ her
There still standin, try to get my hand in
But she gets away________one stride
Every day she comes around
Lookin good and tryin to catch my eye
Aint no way to tell her no
I guess I never even thought to try
This must be for real
This must be for real
This must be for real
It cant be a dream
Juicy, juicy, juicy, juicy lucy
Juicy, juicy, juicy, juicy lucy
Juicy, juicy, juicy, juicy lucy
Juicy, juicy, juicy, juicy lucy
Every time I tie her down she wants to let me go
Every time I start to slide
Shes tellin me Im way to slow
This must be for real
This must be for real
This must be for real
It cant be a dream
Juicy, juicy, juicy, juicy lucy
Juicy, juicy, juicy, juicy lucy
Juicy, juicy, juicy, juicy lucy
Juicy, juicy, juicy, juicy
song performed by by Nazareth
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sophisticated Lady (She's A Different Lady)
Written by Chuck Jackson, Marvin Yancy and Natalie Cole
Sophisticated lady, sophisticated lady
She's a different lady with a different style
She stands tall and steady like the Eiffel Tower
She is hip to politics but loves her jazz
She's got lots of rhythm she's got lots of class
Everybody knows how she got her name, yeah
Oh, ha, she wears knee length dresses with her high heel steppers
She's not no back stabber but she's sure a pleaser
She talks quiet and gentle, she acts very cool
She sticks close to her lover, she obey God's rules, woh
(Sophisticated lady) Sophisticated lady, yeah
(Sophisticated lady) Oh
(Sophisticated lady) That's her name, that's her name
(Sophisticated lady) Woh, woh
Everybody knows how she got her name
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah----
Woh--, oh, oh, oh, oh
She's the kind of person that you'd like to meet
'Cause she's always smiling and she's always neat
She can start a fire in the coldest man
She's a hip slick sister known throughout the land, oh
(Sophisticated lady) That's her name
Sophisticated lady (sophisticated lady) yeah
Oh, well, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, hoo, that's her name
Sophisticated lady (sophisticated lady) lady, lady
Sophisticated lady (sophisticated lady) oh
Sophisticated lady, (sophisticated lady) ah
Sophisticated lady (sophisticated lady)
Ooh, ooh (sophisticated lady)
Repeat (Sophisticated lady
song performed by by Natalie Cole
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Invasion
The Vikings are coming, You'd better get ready for we're having a fight
The longboats are coming, looking like dragons in the dead of the night
Muster the men from all the villages
You'd better get ready to fight with your enemies
Beacons are burning, I'm giving the word to get ready to fight
The battle is nearing, You'd better get ready to fight for your lives
Muster the men from all the villages
You'd better get ready to fight with your enemies
The Norsemen are coming, The Norsemen are coming
The warnings are given, The Norsemen are coming
The Norsemen are coming, The Norsemen are coming
The warnings are given, The Norsemen are coming
Raping and pillaging, Robbing and looting the land
Raping and pillaging, Robbing and looting the land
Viking raiders from afar
The Norsemen are coming, The Norsemen are coming
The warnings are given, The Norsemen are coming
The Norsemen are coming, The Norsemen are coming
The warnings are given, The Norsemen are coming
Raping and pillaging, Robbing and looting the land
Raping and pillaging, Robbing and looting the land
Viking raiders from afar
song performed by by Iron Maiden
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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She's Got The Jack
She gave me the Queen
She gave me the King
She was wheelin' and dealin'
Just doin' her thing
She was holdin' a pair
But I had to try
Her Deuce was wild
But my Ace was high
But how was I to know
That she'd been dealt with before
Said she'd never had a Full House
But I should have known
From the tattoo on her left leg
And the garter on her right
She'd have the card to bring me down
If she played it right
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack
She's got the jack
Poker face was her name
Poker face was her nature
Poker straight was her game
If she knew she could get you
She played 'em fast
And she played 'em hard
She could close her eyes
And feel every card
But how was I to know
That she'd been shuffled before
Said she'd never had a Royal Flush
But I should have known
That all the cards were comin'
From the bottom of the pack
And if I'd known what she was dealin' out
I'd have dealt it back
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, and who knows what else?
She's got the jack, yeah, yeah
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack
She's got the jack
She's got the jack, she's got the jack,
Ooh, It was a bad deal, (Jack)
She gave me the (Jack), hey
She's got the (Jack), she's got the (Jack)
She's got the (Jack), ooh can't you tell
She's got the (Jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack)
(She's got the jack, she's got the Jack)
She's got the jack, she's got the Jack
She's got the jack, you never know!
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack
She's got the jack, and it hurts!
(She's got the jack)
She's got the jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack
She's got the jack
Aaaaaah!
Oooooh!
Thank you, thank you, thank you people, thank you, thank you
I'm glad you like the show, yes, thank you very much folks.
Goodnight and God bless
song performed by by AC-DC
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sophisticated Lady
Written by chuck jackson, marvin yancy and natalie cole
Sophisticated lady, sophisticated lady
Shes a different lady with a different style
She stands tall and steady like the eiffel tower
She is hip to politics but loves her jazz
Shes got lots of rhythm shes got lots of class
Everybody knows how she got her name, yeah
Oh, ha, she wears knee length dresses with her high heel steppers
Shes not no back stabber but shes sure a pleaser
She talks quiet and gentle, she acts very cool
She sticks close to her lover, she obey gods rules, woh
(sophisticated lady) sophisticated lady, yeah
(sophisticated lady) oh
(sophisticated lady) thats her name, thats her name
(sophisticated lady) woh, woh
Everybody knows how she got her name
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah----
Woh--, oh, oh, oh, oh
Shes the kind of person that youd like to meet
cause shes always smiling and shes always neat
She can start a fire in the coldest man
Shes a hip slick sister known throughout the land, oh
(sophisticated lady) thats her name
Sophisticated lady (sophisticated lady) yeah
Oh, well, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, hoo, thats her name
Sophisticated lady (sophisticated lady) lady, lady
Sophisticated lady (sophisticated lady) oh
Sophisticated lady, (sophisticated lady) ah
Sophisticated lady (sophisticated lady)
Ooh, ooh (sophisticated lady)
Repeat (sophisticated lady)
song performed by by Natalie Cole
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Man Who Would Woo a Fair Maid
A man who would woo a fair maid,
Should 'prentice himself to the trade;
And study all day,
In methodical way,
How to flatter, cajole, and persuade.
He should 'prentice himself at fourteen
And practise from morning to e'en;
And when he's of age,
If he will, I'll engage,
He may capture the heart of a queen!
It is purely a matter of skill,
Which all may attain if they will:
But every Jack
He must study the knack
If he wants to make sure of his Jill!
If he's made the best use of his time,
His twig he'll so carefully lime
That every bird
Will come down at his word.
Whatever its plumage and clime.
He must learn that the thrill of a touch
May mean little, or nothing, or much;
It's an instrument rare,
To be handled with care,
And ought to be treated as such.
It is purely a matter of skill,
Which all may attain if they will:
But every Jack,
He must study the knack
If he wants to make sure of his Jill!
Then a glance may be timid or free;
It will vary in mighty degree,
From an impudent stare
To a look of despair
That no maid without pity can see.
And a glance of despair is no guide -
It may have its ridiculous side;
It may draw you a tear
Or a box on the ear;
You can never be sure till you've tried.
It is purely a matter of skill,
Which all may attain if they will:
But every Jack
He must study the knack
If he wants to make sure of his Jill!
poem by William Schwenck Gilbert
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Ready Steady Go
Ready, steady, go
Im not in love with television
Im not in love with the radio
Im not in love with the kings road
Because Im in love with cathy mcgowan - she said
Ready steady go - all things she said
Ready steady go - wasnt it fabulous
Ready (ready) steady (steady) go
Im not in love with juke box jury
Im not in love with thank you jucky stars
Im not in love with ttttwiggy
Because Im in love with cathy mcgowan - she said
Ready steady go - all things she said
Ready steady go - wasnt it fabulous
Ready (ready) steady (steady) go
Im still in love with the beatles
I was in love with the stones, no satisfaction
I was in love with bobby dylan
Because Im in love with rocknroll
Ready steady go - all things she said
Ready steady go - wasnt it fabulous
Ready (ready) steady (steady) go
Ready steady go!
Go! go! go!
Ready steady go!
Ready steady who
Ready steady stone
Go! go go go
song performed by by Billy Idol
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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nonsense is an 'Art
The 'Art' of the 'ridiculous' is to be somewhat meticulous
In chosing, 'certain words'
To capture the Absurd'
The artus riducularus
Is to find something hilarious,
Perhaps in a scattering on silly names
A certain gait a wibbly stutter
The art of the ridiculous
Lyes in being quite meticulous
In making nonsense ryhme
And every dirty star can shine
Though fallen from it's holy shrine
Still glimmers in the gutter
poem by Yvette Smith
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The French Maid
She is cleaning again
feather duster in hand
Uniform tuxedo
fanning flourish feminine
She wears fishnets black
lacing satin spic 'n span
Skirting sleek stilettos
with delicate depurate diadem
She dusts lust for fuchsian
florid fine and flourishin’
Disinfecting drains unclogging
impeccable spotless sanitary she
We clean the floors doors walls
with window crevices uncovering
Reach revealing mirror ceiling
pristine sheen for floor board squeaking
She has me knees and hand solution
wash white knuckle squirting
Sweat succumb from such scrubbing
recovers numb of our rage reaching
Spot scrub smudge fastidious sponging
mine meticulous love
Immaculate spectaculate
cleaning lady consummate cathartic
Rigorous grinding intent for finishing
swipe smudge smear clear her
Surface sheen pristine polish shining
glimmer glisten glittering gleam
We are Mister and Misses Clean!
Lover's sanitation fresh
supernatural sparkling breath
I wipe her back neck perfect precious
mine lips her hips' lips
throat heart stomach
Mon chambermaid cheri she
magnificent as such mess undress
Arriving mirth meticulous Frenching
made of our own making
randy resh 2007
poem by Randy Resh
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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April Lady
Words and music by brian may and tim staffell
She won our hearts the arts she loved
Is painting pictures for free
When she was done she hung them up
For all the children to see
Goodbye april lady
Its been good to have you around
Goodbye april lady
Youve done a lot for the folks in this town
The children learned to read
She strung their beads
Its sorry she was the one
As you can see isnt she good
She dont leave nothing undone
Goodbye april lady
Its been good to have you around
Goodbye april lady
Youve done a lot for the folks in this town
She taught them all to love
She was their cream
And we dont want her to go
But we know too well
She fell in love
And theres no stopping her so
Goodbye april lady
Its been good to have you around
Goodbye april lady
Youve done a lot for the folks in this town
Goodbye april lady...
song performed by by Queen
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Spider As My Analogy For You
the black spider
with a yellow mouth
and invisible tongue
early in the morning
on the jack-fruit tree
webs its house, so
beautifully transparent
against the sun
it is art and functional
at the same time
a house of beauty
and a trap for prey
a fly is trapped and
breakfast is ready
at the center table of
its creation
full, the spider basks
in the rain as i watch it
still thinking about you
and your house of lies.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Daddy's Little Baby (feat. Ronald Isley)
Ja Rule]
Daddy's little baby
Must learn this world is shady
The color of your skin don't make you less of a lady
Degrade yourself never
Cause I'm teaching you better
Life aint all about cheddar diamonds and leather
Understand you a black sister in this white mans world
Don't let it get ya down girl
It's essential that you grow amongst your group
So you don't grow too fast and be doing Lord knows who
Cause daddy loves you, dont let nobody tell you different
What I do for a living is a talent I'm giving
And I'm a raise you too black, too strong, beautiful
Tell the truth, let you know what women go through
Lies and deceit, the nigga you love he gonna cheat
So be careful in the heat, baby girl, with cold feet
Keep your head steady, baby, this world aint ready
Make me proud your daddy's little baby
[Ronald Isley]
I'll always come back to you
I'll always come back to you
I'll always come back to you
Your my baby, now and ever
[JA Rule]
Yo, JA's imagery is somewhat like God and his chemistry
Blas-phe-my, I'll take my baby girl proudly
Put her over my knee and let her know this world is yours
Men and dogs take it from daddy and hold off
Head high lady, love is about lies and deception
Will always be seen through the eyes and my demise dont cry, just
Hold on, stay head strong and live to learn that life goes on
The day you was born God answered my cry for help
I look at you a female replica of myself
I was conceived 229 you 922
God was the science in this sign you threw
I want to know just so I can spread the jewel through my youth
So she dont have to come up like I did running loose
Keep your head steady, baby, this world aint ready
Make me proud your daddy's little baby
[Ronald Isley]
I'll always come back to you
I'll always come back to you
I'll always come back to you
Your my baby, now and ever
[JA Rule]
When I look in your eyes I see stars
It's me and you against the world baby to the stales
And anything you want, you can get, daddy's getting it done
You the reason why I keep the hundreds under the ones
And go through rain, sleet, and snow and kiss the sun
Though my travels through the storms has just begun
I swear to God when my sister died, I was only 5
Didn't even cry, couldn't know the value of a life
Know I realize why Brittany so rare to me
She came at the time when nobody cared for me
This worlds tough, I'm a guide you through it carefully
Learn the game and remember nothing in life's free
My little lady, cant quite understand me know
But baby, in time I'll break it down
Keep your head steady, baby, this world aint ready
Make me proud your daddy's little baby
[Ronald Isley]
I'll always come back to you
I'll always come back to you
I'll always come back to you
Your my baby, now and ever
And you know I love you girl
Oh, yeah
And I'll always be there for you girl
You know, baby, your my baby now and ever
And I'll always, Ohh, you know you know
Ladadadalalala, yeah
Your my baby, now and ever
And you know, you know baby
Know, you see I love you baby
Your my little baby girl, yeah
Your my baby, now and ever
And I know, you know, you know
You know, always, alll-ways
Your my baby, now and ever
And I know.
song performed by by Ja Rule
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Daddys Little Baby
Its my heart
Pray
Daddys little baby, must learn this world is shady
And the color of your skin dont make you less of a lady
Degrade yourself, never cuz Im teaching you better
Life aint all about cheddar diamonds and leather
Understand you a black sister, in this white mans
World, dont let it get ya, down girl
Its essential that you grow amongst your group
So you dont grow too fast and be doin lord knows who
Cuz daddy loves you, dont let nobody tell you different
What i, do for a living is a talent Im given
And ima raise you too black too strong beautiful
Tell the truth let you know what women go through
Lies and deceit, the nigga you love he gone cheat
So be careful in the heat baby girl wit cold feet
Keep yo head steady, baby this world aint ready
Make me proud you daddys little baby ha
(chorus)
Ill always come back to you
Ill always come back to you
Ill always come back to you
Youre my baby now and ever
Yo jas imagery is somewhat like God and his chemistry
Blasphemy, I tell my baby girl proudly
Put her over my knee and let her know this world is yours
Men are dogs take it from daddy and hold yours
Head high lady, love is bout lies and deception
Will always be seen through the eyes
In my demise dont cry just, hold on
Stay headstrong and live to learn that life goes on
The day you was born God answered my cry for help
I look at you a female replica of myself
I was conceived 2/29 you 9/22
God whats the science in this sign you threw?
I wanna know just so I can spread the jewel to my youth
So she dont have to come up like I did runnin loots
Keep yo head steady, baby this world aint ready
Make me proud youre daddys little baby
For real
(chorus)
When I look in yo eyes I see stars
Its me and you against the world
Baby its in the signs
And anything you want you can get it daddys getting it done
You the reason why I keep the hundreds under the ones
And go through rain sleet and snow to kiss the sun
Though my travel through the storm has just begun
Swear to God when my sister died, I was only five
Didnt even cry, couldnt know the value of a life
Know I realize why brittneys so rare to me
She came at the time when nobody cared for me
This worlds tough, ima guide you through it carefully
Learn the game and remember nothing in lifes free
My little lady, cant quite understand me now
But baby, in time Ill break it down
So keep yo head steady, baby this world aint ready
Make me proud youre daddys little baby
For real
(chorus)
song performed by by Ja Rule
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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And I Am An Idiot, Right?
Seven years after they fell from the hill,
In a live-in relation were Jack and Jill.
They had found themselves a graduate course,
Jill was this learning's driving force.
So one fine day, back from the institute,
She said 'listen jack, i don't wanna talk to you'.
Of such an experience was jack destitute,
and so he asked 'can you tell me, what i did do? '
'No' she said, 'go find out if you want'.
'If you don't tell me baby, I sincerely can't'.
I don't care about that, she said, twitching her lips,
Clueless and insane he, already missing her hips.
'Don't touch me jack, you don't like me anymore',
Whats come to this woman he thought.
In the next two days, things got so sour,
that they did not even share the damned cot.
A week went by and he gets a call,
'How are you jack, my baby doll'.
Exclamation marks popped up his mind,
Why is this bitch acting so kind?
She wanted him to help with her Labor law work,
and he felt like the labor himself, just another clerk.
She thanked him as if nothing had happened,
What bloody character sketch, for women had god penned?
and then it was, 'come on jack lets make the bed'.
hey what happened to the big fight?
Definitely love, am coming in a minute, he said,
and thought 'and I am an idiot right? '
poem by Krish King Nishanth
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Bliss Of Ignorance
When Jack took Nell into his arms
He knew he acted ill,
And thought as he enjoyed her charms
Of his fiancée Jill.
"Poor dear," he sighed, "she dreams of me,
I shouldn't act like this;
But after all, she cannot see,
And ignorance is bliss."
Yet Jill at that same moment was
In Fred's embrace close caught,
And just a little sad because
Of sweetheart Jack she thought.
"Poor dear," she sighed, "he loves me so,
And what's a little kiss?
Or two or three - he'll never know,
And ignorance is bliss."
Now in fond wedlock all is well,
Though in their nuptial bed,
Jack's thought will sometimes stray to Nell,
And Jill's to handsome Fred.
Yet though in fancy they may flirt,
There's nothing much amiss:
What they don't know will never hurt -
Aye, Ignorance Is Bliss.
poem by Robert William Service
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Employment Goals Seek Attain Dreams
employment gives us options
employment creates opportunities
employment enhances meetings
employment demands responsibilities
employment provides relative incomes
employment pays plan budget bills
employment advocates option savings
employment allows stepping stones
employment wisdom attains rewards
employment goals seek attain dreams
poem by Terence George Craddock
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Hit The Road Jack
Written by Percy Mayfield
Ah, ah, ah, ah, hey hey hey, yeah
Ah, ah, ah, ah, hey hey hey, yeah
Hit the road Jack and don't you come back no more
Hit that road Jack and don't you come back no more
I said baby baby don't treat me so mean
Your the meanest old woman that I ever seen
I guess if you say so I'm gonna have to pack my things and go
Hit the road Jack and don't you come back no more, no more, no more, no
more
Hit the road Jack and don't you come back no more, yea
Ah, ah, ah, ah, hu-huh, hey hey hey
Ah, ah, ah, ah, uh-huh, hey hey hey
I said baby baby don't treat me this way
I'll get back on my feet someday
I don't care if you do, your just no good
You ain't had no good loving and ....
Hit the road Jack and don't you come back no more, yeah, yeah
Hit the road Jack and don't you come back no more
Ah, ah, ah, ah, hey hey hey
Ah, ah, ah, ah, hey hey hey
Hit the road Jack and don't you come back no more
Hit that road Jack and don't you come back no more, yeah
song performed by by John Mellencamp
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Talents Die Easily In Africa!
Oh talents, oh talents!
Talents do die easily in Africa;
But, talents are special gifts which,
Money cannot buy.
It is a special gift,
It is in you,
You don't even need a Higher Degree for them;
Talents are everywhere on this earth.
The talents of Africa do die very often,
Who is even ready to listen to them?
The true talents of the Africans go to the drain.
Like a rain on a train,
Like an early wake up call without a view;
Life is really so strange over here in Africa.
I have a dream!
But, who will listen?
My brain is with various talents but,
Who will help me with my dreams?
Talents, talents, talents! !
Africa turns to regress in this field while,
Others do progress!
Our talents can be useful,
It's time we give a helping hand;
Oh talents, oh talents!
It's time we listen to those who have them;
Cos', we are the world.
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Jack U Off
If ure looking for somewhere to go
Thought Id take u to a movie show
Sittin in the back and Ill jack u off
I cant give u everything u want
But I can take u to a restaurant
If ure not hungry
Ill jack u off
If your man aint no good
Come on over to my neighborhood
We can jump in the sack and Ill jack u off
If ure tired of the masturbater
Little girl, we can go on a date
And if u like, Ill jack u off
Ill jack u off, jack u off
Ill jack u off, jack u off
Ill jack u off
I only do it for a worthy cause
Viriginity or menopause
Ull have an instant heart attack if I jack u off
If u really really want to be a star
We gotta do it in your mommas car
Naked in a cadillac, Ill jack u off
If we cant find no place to go
Girl, Ill take u to a movie show, we can sit in the back
And Ill jack u off
Ill jack u off, jack u off
Ill jack u off, jack u off
Ill jack u off, yeah
Yeah, yeah, Ill jack u off
Alright say, well put some funk on here
Ill jack u off
If u aint chicken baby, come here
If ure good Ill even let u steer
As a matter of fact, u can jack me off
Yeah, thats right
Ill jack u off, yeah
Ill jack u off
song performed by by Prince
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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