A Man Who Would Woo a Fair Maid
A man who would woo a fair maid,
Should 'prentice himself to the trade;
And study all day,
In methodical way,
How to flatter, cajole, and persuade.
He should 'prentice himself at fourteen
And practise from morning to e'en;
And when he's of age,
If he will, I'll engage,
He may capture the heart of a queen!
It is purely a matter of skill,
Which all may attain if they will:
But every Jack
He must study the knack
If he wants to make sure of his Jill!
If he's made the best use of his time,
His twig he'll so carefully lime
That every bird
Will come down at his word.
Whatever its plumage and clime.
He must learn that the thrill of a touch
May mean little, or nothing, or much;
It's an instrument rare,
To be handled with care,
And ought to be treated as such.
It is purely a matter of skill,
Which all may attain if they will:
But every Jack,
He must study the knack
If he wants to make sure of his Jill!
Then a glance may be timid or free;
It will vary in mighty degree,
From an impudent stare
To a look of despair
That no maid without pity can see.
And a glance of despair is no guide -
It may have its ridiculous side;
It may draw you a tear
Or a box on the ear;
You can never be sure till you've tried.
It is purely a matter of skill,
Which all may attain if they will:
But every Jack
He must study the knack
If he wants to make sure of his Jill!
poem by William Schwenck Gilbert
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Related quotes
Jack And Jill
this is not the usual story of Jack and Jill,
this is reality
welcome. Jack married Jill
in 1985
the first year was bliss
until the second year
when Jack
was so pressured
in his work
and Jill who was left at
home
got so bored with nothing
to do
except to listen
to Jack's shifting
towards the corners
of insanity
and then one day
Jill cooked Chinese noddles
for their wedding anniversary
which of course
she did not recall
but Jack still had it vivid
in his mind
the expensive wedding gown
the diamond ring
and flashy car
and the well attended
grand reception
Jack went wild
and throw the hot noddles
in Jill's face
Jill went to the U.S.
married a white man
Jack finally landed
in a mental asylum
The house where they once
lived
got burned
nothing remained
except the vacant lot
foreclosed by
the bank
sad
Jack and Jill
did not live happily everafter
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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To My Sons, Eddie & Edwin
You're my cute little son,
But you're always stubborn,
Fast to get anger and upset
Very small hearted person.
Why you so like that
Give me the reasons
Why? , why? , why?
Why you so disobedient person?
You all are clever
But lazy and hard headed
Sometimes, you are good
But you're very naughty boy.
Always Be a good boy
My boy, my boy,
Listen to elderly always,
Respect your parents.
Please study hard
Study smarter
Future in your hands
No one can change you
Unless yourself.
Don't play only
Remember to study things
You love and likes
Learn as much as you can.
Time is short,
Time never return,
Study when you're young
Study when you're grow up too.
Stop playing games,
Start your lessons on time
Stop fooling around,
Stop arguing with parents.
My sons, Eddie and Edwin
Always I love you all
No matter Where,
No matter When,
No matter How.
You're always my sons.
poem by Lawrence Hiung
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And I Am An Idiot, Right?
Seven years after they fell from the hill,
In a live-in relation were Jack and Jill.
They had found themselves a graduate course,
Jill was this learning's driving force.
So one fine day, back from the institute,
She said 'listen jack, i don't wanna talk to you'.
Of such an experience was jack destitute,
and so he asked 'can you tell me, what i did do? '
'No' she said, 'go find out if you want'.
'If you don't tell me baby, I sincerely can't'.
I don't care about that, she said, twitching her lips,
Clueless and insane he, already missing her hips.
'Don't touch me jack, you don't like me anymore',
Whats come to this woman he thought.
In the next two days, things got so sour,
that they did not even share the damned cot.
A week went by and he gets a call,
'How are you jack, my baby doll'.
Exclamation marks popped up his mind,
Why is this bitch acting so kind?
She wanted him to help with her Labor law work,
and he felt like the labor himself, just another clerk.
She thanked him as if nothing had happened,
What bloody character sketch, for women had god penned?
and then it was, 'come on jack lets make the bed'.
hey what happened to the big fight?
Definitely love, am coming in a minute, he said,
and thought 'and I am an idiot right? '
poem by Krish King Nishanth
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Jack & Jill
Mi Mi Mi girl close your eyes
Mi Mi Mi got a surprise
Mi Mi Mi don't run and hide let me take you on ride
First
We'll go to Cleveland
we'll kissin and huggin is what we'll do
Next
We'll go to Miami
and make it hot and steamy please believe me
Next
We'll go to NY
and with your thighs I'll treat you like the queen
Next
We'll go to Chicago
we'll bumpin and grindin its no joke
[Chorus]
Baby I'm jack you can be jill
I wanna carry up my hill
we dont have to run and to make love
but we can go to every city that you think of
[repeat 1x]
Next
We'll go to HEL in room 112
I'll make your body melt
Next
We'll go to DC
I'll do it deeply but take it easy
Next
We'll go to Houston
There's no illusion what we'll be doing
Next
We'll go to Philly
while I'm feelin you I know you feelin me
Baby I'm jack you can be jill
I wanna carry up my hill
we dont have to run and to make love
but we can go to every city that you think of
[Hook]
Oh girl you and me
song performed by by Avant from Ecstasy
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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An Irreverent Look At Some Favorite Nursery Rhymes
Hickory dickory dock
I'd run around the block
For just one kiss
Oh my, what bliss!
Hickory dickory dock
JACK BE NIMBLE
Jack be nimble
Jack be quick
Jack jumped over
The candlestick
He burned his butt
The lad's a nut
Now he cannot sit
MARY MARY QUITE CONTRARY
Mary, Mary
Quite contrary
Whats your garden grow?
"A row of tulips,
And one magic rose,
Guarded by a fairy"
HUMPTY DUMPTY
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall;
(Dejected)
After his cell dropped her call
AT&T, with all its repair men,
Couldn't connect Humpty Dumpty again
LITTLE BO PEEP
Little Bo Peep lost all her sheep,
And didn't know where to find them
She left 'em alone,
hoping they'd come home;
But finally gave up at 7: 00 a.m.
JACK N' JILL
Jack n' Jill went up the hill
To fetch a six pack of beer
Jill fell down,
"You tripped me you clown"
"So much for sex later my dear"
ROTMS
View ROTMS writings, images and video at;
rotms.blogspot.com
poem by Ray Lucero
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Contemporary Poetry
contemporary poetry
is nice to read since they are
not cliches, very much unlike
shakespeare or
mary oliver
i 've seen one and read it
over and over again
it feels like
trickling rain from
my forehead to my
spine
like this:
rain
rain
go
away
come
back
an
other
d
a
y....
i am amazed
i think i will write about jack and jill went up the hill to get a pail of water.
jack forgot and
what is that? jill come rolling after?
the pail.
i am bitter.
sour i mean.
i don't belong
i am one kind of a frustrated contemp...
orary wri
ter.
well, i will try next time
i have to reread
bukowski's advice
i will wait
till the next tick.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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Nursery Rhyme for Iraq
Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
To watch
The Iraq slaughter.
Jack said 'Blair!
It isn't fair! '
(Silence.
And no laughter.)
poem by John Thorkild Ellison
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She's Got The Jack
She gave me the Queen
She gave me the King
She was wheelin' and dealin'
Just doin' her thing
She was holdin' a pair
But I had to try
Her Deuce was wild
But my Ace was high
But how was I to know
That she'd been dealt with before
Said she'd never had a Full House
But I should have known
From the tattoo on her left leg
And the garter on her right
She'd have the card to bring me down
If she played it right
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack
She's got the jack
Poker face was her name
Poker face was her nature
Poker straight was her game
If she knew she could get you
She played 'em fast
And she played 'em hard
She could close her eyes
And feel every card
But how was I to know
That she'd been shuffled before
Said she'd never had a Royal Flush
But I should have known
That all the cards were comin'
From the bottom of the pack
And if I'd known what she was dealin' out
I'd have dealt it back
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, and who knows what else?
She's got the jack, yeah, yeah
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack
She's got the jack
She's got the jack, she's got the jack,
Ooh, It was a bad deal, (Jack)
She gave me the (Jack), hey
She's got the (Jack), she's got the (Jack)
She's got the (Jack), ooh can't you tell
She's got the (Jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack)
(She's got the jack, she's got the Jack)
She's got the jack, she's got the Jack
She's got the jack, you never know!
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack
She's got the jack, and it hurts!
(She's got the jack)
She's got the jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack
She's got the jack
Aaaaaah!
Oooooh!
Thank you, thank you, thank you people, thank you, thank you
I'm glad you like the show, yes, thank you very much folks.
Goodnight and God bless
song performed by by AC-DC
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Bliss Of Ignorance
When Jack took Nell into his arms
He knew he acted ill,
And thought as he enjoyed her charms
Of his fiancée Jill.
"Poor dear," he sighed, "she dreams of me,
I shouldn't act like this;
But after all, she cannot see,
And ignorance is bliss."
Yet Jill at that same moment was
In Fred's embrace close caught,
And just a little sad because
Of sweetheart Jack she thought.
"Poor dear," she sighed, "he loves me so,
And what's a little kiss?
Or two or three - he'll never know,
And ignorance is bliss."
Now in fond wedlock all is well,
Though in their nuptial bed,
Jack's thought will sometimes stray to Nell,
And Jill's to handsome Fred.
Yet though in fancy they may flirt,
There's nothing much amiss:
What they don't know will never hurt -
Aye, Ignorance Is Bliss.
poem by Robert William Service
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Jack U Off
If ure looking for somewhere to go
Thought Id take u to a movie show
Sittin in the back and Ill jack u off
I cant give u everything u want
But I can take u to a restaurant
If ure not hungry
Ill jack u off
If your man aint no good
Come on over to my neighborhood
We can jump in the sack and Ill jack u off
If ure tired of the masturbater
Little girl, we can go on a date
And if u like, Ill jack u off
Ill jack u off, jack u off
Ill jack u off, jack u off
Ill jack u off
I only do it for a worthy cause
Viriginity or menopause
Ull have an instant heart attack if I jack u off
If u really really want to be a star
We gotta do it in your mommas car
Naked in a cadillac, Ill jack u off
If we cant find no place to go
Girl, Ill take u to a movie show, we can sit in the back
And Ill jack u off
Ill jack u off, jack u off
Ill jack u off, jack u off
Ill jack u off, yeah
Yeah, yeah, Ill jack u off
Alright say, well put some funk on here
Ill jack u off
If u aint chicken baby, come here
If ure good Ill even let u steer
As a matter of fact, u can jack me off
Yeah, thats right
Ill jack u off, yeah
Ill jack u off
song performed by by Prince
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Contemporary Poetry (2)
contemporary poetry
is nice to read since they are
not cliches, very much unlike
shakespeare or
mary oliver
i 've seen one and read it
over and over again
it feels like
trickling rain from
my forehead to my
spine
like this:
rain
rain
go
away
come
back
an
other
d
a
y....
i am amazed
i think i will write about jack and jill went up the hill to get a pail of water.
jack forgot and
what is that? jill come rolling after?
the pail.
i am bitter.
sour i mean.
i don't belong
i am one kind of a frustrated contemp...
orary wri
ter.
well, i will try next time
i have to reread
bukowski's advice
i will wait
till the next tick.
oh well,
i got other things to do.
the grapes are sour anyway.
(cliche duh!)
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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Schooling Relationship
you are the subject which i study
understanding and getting to know you psychologically
learning new ways to do right
ways to out do the wrong
you are the subject which i study
practicing and testing the goods and bads
you are the subject which i study
the time has come graduation is here
learn the subject by studing its psychology
understanding is the only way for success
now we move on to the next step
you are the subject which i study to major
as i take hold of your hand
guide you through rough times throughout this life
you are the subject which i study to major
as time goes by ticking away
i studied you all those days
i understand your past history life
your psychology means alot to me
mentally physically emotionally speaking
you are the subject which i study to major...
poem by Diara Armstead
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Jack The Idiot Dunce
Whos the fool with the cross-eyed stare,
The turned up nose and moronic glare?
Whos that simpleton standing over there?
Jack, jack the idiot dunce.
Whos that dumb-looking freckle-faced runt?
Jack, jack the idiot dunce.
He walks like his feet are on back to front,
Jack, jack the idiot dunce.
When he waddles down the street he looks kind of queer,
Jack, jack the idiot dunce,
Because hes got two left feet and taxi-door ears,
Jack, jack the idiot dunce.
And when we laugh at the clothes he wears,
Jack just smiles cos he dont care.
Whos that fool? whos that ninny?
Whos that twit? whos that chump?
The idiot dunce, the idiot dunce.
Who is always the bottom of the class?
Jack, jack the idiot dunce.
Whos a fool? whos a boob?
Whos a kook and an ass?
Jack, jack the idiot dunce.
When we take examinations he never gets a pass,
Jack, jack the idiot dunce.
And we all put him down cos he cant think fast,
Jack, jack the idiot dunce.
We ridicule him and punch him around,
But jack just laughs and stands his ground,
The idiot dunce, the idiot dunce.
Yeah, hes so unco-ordinated.
Yeah, and so disorientated,
And when we have a high school hop
You ought to see that idiot bop
And his arms and his legs
Seem to have minds of their own,
And you dont need brains
To have educated muscles and bones.
Yeah, you ought to see him dance
He moves like hes in a trance,
And when we have a high school hop
You ought to see that idiot rock,
And hes finally proved
That you dont need a high i.q.
To make your body move.
Now hes created a dance that everybodys trying to do.
Jack, jack the idiot dunce.
Do the idiot dunce.
All right put your finger on your nose,
Now cross those eyes.
Put your hands on your hips,
Now wriggle your backside.
Now youve got the knack
To do the idiot jack
From your head to the tips of your toes.
Now the whole worlds doing it and everybody knows,
Jack, jack the idiot dunce.
Hes a real cool cat and a real gone groove,
Jack, jack the idiot dunce.
And the girls go crazy when he starts to move,
Jack, jack the idiot dunce
Now jacks a success hes got nothing to prove,
Jack, jack the idiot dunce.
Even though jack is dim
His mother is so proud of him.
Hey, whos that groovy looking dude
Dancing with all the chicks?
The idiot dunce, the idiot dunce.
song performed by by Kinks
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Your Skill
Your skill is presented to the rest of the world,
As places are in the acres of this world,
In this creation endures the skill of your study,
The anchor of the sea, and resign now please.
The skills destroy us when we learn,
Inside is a guess, working the rest of the play,
Wanting a danger makes me firm in belief,
Decide to plant one favour for all in this dwelling.
Your skill is present, your work is heaven,
Let the favours of the place be like heaven.
poem by Naveed Akram
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The Book Of Creation
The book of nature open lies,
With much instruction stored;
But till the Lord anoints our eyes
We cannot read a word.
Philosophers have pored in vain,
And guessed, from age to age;
For reason's eye could ne'er attain
To understand a page.
Though to each star they give a name,
Its size and motions teach;
The truths which all the stars proclaim,
Their wisdom cannot reach.
With skill to measure earth and sea;
And weigh the subtle air;
They cannot, Lord, discover thee
Though present everywhere.
The knowledge of the saints excels
The wisdom of the schools;
To them his secrets God reveals,
Though men account them fools.
To them the sun and stars on high,
The flow'rs that paint the field,
And all the artless birds that fly,
Divine instruction yield.
The creatures on their senses press,
As witnesses to prove
Their Saviour's pow'r, and faithfulness,
His providence and love.
Thus may we study nature's book
To make us wise indeed!
And pity those who only look
At what they cannot read.
poem by John Newton
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Behind the Scenes
The actor struts his little hour,
Between the limelight and the band;
The public feel the actor's power,
Yet nothing do they understand
Of all the touches here and there
That make or mar the actor's part,
They never see, beneath the glare,
The artist striving after art.
To them it seems a labour slight
Where nought of study intervenes;
You see it in another light
When once you've been behind the scenes.
For though the actor at his best
Is, like a poet, born not made,
He still must study with a zest
And practise hard to learn his trade.
So, whether on the actor's form
The stately robes of Hamlet sit,
Or as Macbeth he rave and storm,
Or plays burlesque to please the pit,
'Tis each and all a work of art,
That constant care and practice means --
The actor who creates a part
Has done his work behind the scenes.
poem by Andrew Barton Paterson
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Truth is here
Truth is here in the history
In the civilisation fully
Resumed and it is a poem.
The relation we have made
With the stone with the flower
With the bird with the sky
Not ours.
The truth is in our
Poetic world ours only ours
And we move forward
In search of another world
That is purely poetic
Purely in truth
Purely in peace
Purely in harmony.
poem by Gajanan Mishra
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Lil Jack Horny
Mother goose
Never should haver ever let that jack get loose
But that little boy blue
Keeps messing all the things he gets his hands into
Now look what youve done
Stuck in your thumb, pulled out a plum
Mama says, boys will be boys
Thats lil jack horny
Mama says boys will be boys
Thats lil jack horny
Jack and jill
Went up and down and up and fooled around the hill
Now only time will tell
How late the rabbit will arrive in wonderland
Now look what youve done
Stuck in your thumb, pulled out a plum
Mama says, boys will be boys
Thats lil jack horny
Daddy says dont need no birth control
Thats lil jack horny
song performed by by Extreme
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The purpose of this study is to offer a logical, practical, pragmatic proof of the existence of God from a purely scientific perspective.
quote by John Clayton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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There are two methods for the literary study of any book - the first being the study of its thought and emotion; the second only that of its workmanship. A student of literature should study some of the Bible from both points of view.
quote by Lafcadio Hearn
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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