There once was a fellow called Campbell,
Very partial to having a gamble,
He was quite good at whist
But he couldn't resist:
He would cheat and then speedily scramble.
(Written Feb 1995)
quote by by John Carter Brown
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Crazy Tradesmen Rhymes No2
I used to know a fellow in the farming trade,
You could always tell his chickens
By the eggs they laid;
They were small like him
And between you and me
You would have to buy a dozen
If you needed only three.
Written Autumn 1995
poem by John Carter Brown
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Chemistry
He couldn't resist Claire,
they met upon the stairs,
her hair was brightest yellow,
her skin so soft and fair.
He couldn't resist Jane,
sweet Jane he'd longed to tame,
she was a sixth form ‘hottie'
and he loved Jane a ‘lottie'.
He couldn't resist Alex,
her bosom, so fantastic,
her eyes gave off that sparkle,
that he found so attractive.
He dreamed all day of loving,
it made him feel ecstatic
but the scientists would say
it's just chemicals reacting.
poem by Ruth Walters
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There once was a lady from Stroud,
Who wouldn't stop reading aloud,
She would do it in bed
To her husband called Fred
So he shot her, as he had avowed.
(Written Feb 1995)
quote by by John Carter Brown
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Crazy Tradesmen Rhymes No1
I once knew a man in the gardening trade,
Bob Green was his name
He was surly, he was staid;
He thought he knew it all
But between you and me
He couldn't tell a lettuce
From a lilac tree.
Written Autumn 1995
poem by John Carter Brown
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Without the smile from partial beauty won,
Oh what were man?
quote by Thomas Campbell
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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There once was a young man called Seamus,
Supposedly an ignoramus,
He invented a chair
That could float in the air
And now Seamus is ever so famous.
(Written Feb/March 1995)
quote by by John Carter Brown
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Sometimes Ii
Sometimes it is hard to resist a good book
Sometimes it is hard to resist a good meal
Sometimes it is hard to resist a good laugh
Sometimes it is hard to resist the sleep
Sometimes it is hard to resist the star that shines so bright
Up in our sky
poem by by unknown author
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Gambling with Fate
will you take a seat
to gamble with fate
will you try your luck
to gamble with fate
you dont gamble with money
no you gamble with your life
death is the dealer
and fate is the player
but will you take a seat
to gamble with fate
if you do then
be prepared to lose
because fate never loses
poem by Brandon Brooks
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Are Murders and Perverts Children Of God?
Many murder, steal from
our brothers, lie, cheat and shun the
needs of our fellow man.
How then in consideration of these deeds
and those acts of hypocrisy, greed, lust
and clawing ones way through life for that
which is materialistic; -those who
are guilty of these things-how can you
be called 'A Child Of God? '
Are You A Child Of God?
Many murder, steal from
our brothers, lie, cheat and shun the
needs of our fellow man.
How then in consideration of these deeds
and those acts of hypocrisy, greed, lust
and clawing ones way through life for that
which is materialistic; -those who
are guilty of these things-how can you
be called 'A Child Of God? '
In 1995, I was elected a Fellow of the Royal Society.
quote by John E. Walker
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Early Works - Tooter
For Maurice Callard
The Great Gatsby in his forte
from the old man’s tears
to a group twinkling in the garden.
Alas, this is not my exercise,
I am supposing to big head the tooter.
I am supposing to what?
Oh yes, what he represents to me.
Well, let me see
a fellow author, a good-looking fellow.
Yes, I would agree with these.
Now what about his bad points?
You say he hasn’t any.
Well just one or two.
What are they you ask?
You cannot think of any at the moment.
Well, never mind we’ll discuss the good points in some depth.
A fellow author.
Well, yes, he is good in fact,
some might even say quite brilliant.
A good-looking fellow.
Well, with the romantic look of Robert Redford
and ruggedness of Clint Eastwood
need I say anymore?
A good teacher,
I don’t think there are any complaints.
Look, I’ve been going for five years,
but maybe I’m a slow learner!
A very helpful fellow.
Yes, I would agree with this.
I agree with anything,
but above all my comedy
and jest my work purposes.
I find him a good friend and honest critic
no author could ask for more.
25 March 1981
Authors Note:
This was written tongue-in-cheek about my good friend for nearly twenty years. When I read this out at one of his classes, everyone had a good laugh including Maurice himself. To me he was not only a teacher, friend but at times a surrogate father as my own father had no time for my writing. Although he is no longer with us all who knew him, miss him.
poem by David Harris
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Love Affair
I feel before we go any further
I think that I should let you know
I've got a boyfriend
And I would hate to do
Anything to hurt him
So my loyalty I'll show
Don't wanna cheat on him
Never been the kind of girl
Who'd be unfair in relationships
I don't wanna lead you on
No I
Don't want a love affair
I ain't never been the kind to cheat
Cause that ain't me
Don't want a love affair
See I ain't down with o.p.p.
No I
Don't want a love affair
It doesn't matter if we're being discreet
Cause that's not me
Don't wanna play around I ain't down with o.p.p.
Now you're startin' to
Look real good to me
But I think it's best you go
Before we go too far
Gotta try to resist temptation
That way nobody gets hurt
I got a boyfriend
Even if I was your girl
I still wouldn't give myself to another
Why can't you just understand
That's just the way I am
Don't want a love affair It doesn't matter if we're
being discreet
Cause that ain't me
Don't want a love affair
As long as my man's lovin' me
Don't want a love affair
It doesn't matter if we're being discreet
That's not me
Don't wanna play around
I will never kiss and tell
Can't believe that you would say you still
Would have respect in the morning
When i just couldn't respect myself
song performed by by Toni Braxton from Toni Braxton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Research has been called good business, a necessity, a gamble, a game. It is none of these - it's a state of mind.
quote by Martin H. Fischer
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Pablo Picasso
Well some people try to pick up girls
And get called assholes
This never happened to Pablo Picasso
He could walk down your street
And girls could not resist his stare and
So Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole
Well the girls would turn the color
Of the avocado when he would drive
Down their street in his El Dorado
He could walk down your street
And girls could not resist his stare
Pablo Picasso never got called an asshole
Not like you
Alright
Well he was only 5'3"
But girls could not resist his stare
Pablo Picasso never got called an asshole
Not in New York
Oh well be not schmuck, be not obnoxious,
Be not bellbottom bummer or asshole
Remember the story of Pablo Picasso
He could walk down your street
And girls could not resist his stare
Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole
Alright this is it
Some people try to pick up girls
And they get called an asshole
This never happened to Pablo Picasso
He could walk down your street
And girls could not resist his stare and so
Pablo Picasso was never called...
song performed by by David Bowie
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My Song
I wrote a song
It's called 'my life'
I tried my best to make it a good one
I'd never written a song
Twas indeed my first
I had an eraser
I couldn't clean my mistakes though
It turned out to be a long song
A hundred and twenty pages worth
A page a year
I made a mess of it
Blue pen made a mark
As depression took a quarter of it
Yellow pen made an entrance
I decided it was better than blue
Red pen tried to hurt me
As all anger was kept inside
Green pen whispered a note
I wished I had my neighbour's song
So many colours on just one song
Twenty-five pages were dark
I knew not which way to go
I tried to turn a page but couldn't
I basked in pages gone
Hence left several pages blank
Twenty-five pages were wet
As tears serenaded my heart, it did the pages
Too much pain in one song
Tried to change the words
The things I thought all made the song
On a scale of good to bad, bad stole the day
I searched and found other songs titled 'my life'
I wrote my song the way they had
My song was like a painting
One in utter disharmony
One drawn by a clueless artist
But an artist whose passion burned his painting
I set my heart on fire on page 35
There had to be more
And more I had
On page 120, my eyes were dim and hands tired
Since pages couldn't be turned
My mind sat, and looked back
What had I done?
I'd been mountain high
I'd been valley low
I'd been good
I'd been bad
I'd been....
I lay my head on my song
Took my last breath
But before I did
I held a girl
Who had a song called 'my life'
She read my song
And shed a tear
And said I had written....a masterpiece.
poem by Jenim Dibie
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Blind Bid to Boston
The pilot left his seat.
Some stood upon their feet.
They looked in disbelief.
But none of them could fly,
Or dared to even try.
The pilot munched on snacks.
And then he took a nap.
No one knew what to do.
No one there before had flew!
And then someone yelled,
'Hey, let's play 'Bid Whist'?
It's the best when there's tension.
Hey...let's all play Bid Whist.
Someone might get a Boston or two! '
As turbulence rocked the plane,
Someone bid a five 'no'...
Downtown without any fear.
Another nixed that,
By declaring a six low.
In 'diamonds' they said very clear.
And everyone there in the air,
Forgot their cares.
No one dared to mention their plight.
They were all in the game of 'Bid Whist'
And one aboard made a blind bid,
To Boston that night!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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There once was a fellow from Wales
Who bred a new breed of strange quails;
But his plans went awry
As the birds couldn't fly
And what's more, they grew up with no tails.
(Written Oct 2012)
quote by by John Carter Brown
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The Lottery
"Young fellow, listen to a friend:
Beware of wedlock - 'tis a gamble,
It's MAN who holds the losing end
In every matrimonial scramble."
"Young lady, marriage mostly is
A cruel cross of hope's concealing.
A rarity is wedded bliss
And WOMAN gets the dirty dealing."
. . . Such my advice to man and maid,
But though they harken few will take it.
The parson plies his merry trade
The marriage seems much what you make it.
If Pa or Ma had counsel sought
Of me whose locks today are hoary,
And feared to tie the nuptial knot -
Would I be here to tell the story?
Nay, lad and lass, don't flout romance,
Nor heed this cynical old sinner;
Like bold Columbus take a chance,
And may your number be a winner.
Far be it from me to advise,
But in the marital relation
The safest bet is Compromise
And Mutual Consideration.
poem by Robert William Service
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Nature is vigilant
You can cheat the king;
You can cheat the public;
You can cheat your spouse.
You cannot cheat the nature.
26.08.2008
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
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