Flatpack Frustration (Life Poem)
1 simple set of instructions
4 heavy flatpack boxes
5 square aluminium legs
27 painted pieces of wood
100 ridged wooden dowels
101 white plastic screw covers
102 blister-causing screws of various sizes.
Assumption that no unter or ober
Equals drunken waves of shelves
Sadly means finished is unfinished
Reworked masterpiece complete at last
Male ego boosted by admiring plaudits
Value enhanced by effort expended
Flatpack frustration in 4 easy pieces.
poem by Ian Beckett
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer.
Jack Handey in Deep Thoughts
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Screw It All
Screw the World
Screw my friends
Screw the lies that never end
Screw my mom
Screw my dad
Screw the way I feel sad
Screw my teachers
Screw my school
Screw the life of one man's rule
Screw my clothes
Screw my nose
All it is is a fake pose
Screw my body
Screw my face
Screw all the parts below my waist
Screw your life
And Screw mine
Screw the rich who drink and dine
Screw the poor
Screw the sick
All it is is a load of gick
Screw my money
Screw my car
Oh my God, I'm so sick of it all!
poem by Artemis Zeus
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Plastic Passion
Plastic passion is a hard to handle
Plastic passion is a sold out scandal
Oh it's a plastic passion
It's a plastic passion
Plastic passion is the ladies lover
Plastic passion is the marble mother
Oh it's a plastic passion
It's a plastic passion
Plastic passion is a diamond delight
Plastic passion is the nadir of night
Oh it's a plastic passion
It's a plastic passion
It's a plastic passion
Plastic passion is a hycoscine heart
Plastic passion is a transparent tart
Oh it's a plastic passion
It's a plastic passion
Plastic passion is a gold guarantee
The plastic passion is murdering me
Oh it's a plastic passion
It's a plastic passion
It's a plastic passion
song performed by by Cure
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Plastic Man
A man lives at the corner of the street,
And his neighbors think hes helpful and hes sweet,
cause he never swears and he always shakes you by the hand,
But no one knows he really is a plastic man.
Hes got plastic heart, plastic teeth and toes,
(yeah, hes plastic man)
Hes got plastic knees and a perfect plastic nose.
(yeah, hes plastic man)
Hes got plastic lips that hide his plastic teeth and gums,
And plastic legs that reach up to his plastic bum.
(plastic bum)
Plastic man got no brain,
Plastic man dont feel no pain,
Plastic people look the same,
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Kick his shin or tread on his face,
Pull his nose all over the place,
He cant disfigure, or disgrace,
Plastic man (plastic man).
Hes got plastic flowers growing up the walls,
He eats plastic food with a plastic knife and fork,
He likes plastic cups and saucers cause they never break,
And he likes to lick his gravy off a plastic plate.
Plastic man got no brain,
Plastic man dont feel no pain,
Plastic people look the same,
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Kick his shin or tread on his face,
Pull his nose all over the place,
He cant disfigure, or disgrace,
Plastic man (plastic man).
Hes got a plastic wife who wears a plastic mac,
(yeah, hes plastic man)
And his children wanna be plastic like their dad,
(yeah, hes plastic man)
Hes got a phony smile that makes you think he understands,
But no one ever gets the truth from plastic man (plastic man)
Plastic man (plastic man).
song performed by by Kinks
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Plastic
Oh a little bitty termite you know he come knockin' knockin' on my front door
Well he walked right in sat right down started chewin' on the kitchen floor
You know he chewed out the walls and the ceilings and the halls Lord knows he tried
But he kept gettin' thinner and he never got no dinner and finally he sat up and cried
He said it's plastic yeah he said it's plastic
Well you know it ain't no wood and it can't do me no good
Because it's plastic he said it's plastic
You know that everything's gonna be plastic by and by
Yeah an early one day in the month of May I went down to the beach
You know there were beauties and cuties in little bathin' suities
And all of them within my reach
Then a 38-24-36 miss just happened to be passin' my way
I said please don't think I'm nervy but you look so very curvy
Please tell me how you got that way
She said it's plastic she said it's just plastic
She said it's pretty as can be but you know that it ain't me
Because it's plastic she said it's plastic everything's gonna be plastic by and by
poem by Sheldon Allan Silverstein
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Our Unique Imagination
It was just simply made from curtain rings,
rubber bands, sticky tape and silver springs.
Paper clips, coat hangers and old door knobs,
shelving brackets, plywood and bits and bobs.
Bicycle wheels, chipboard and plastic pipes,
material in rainbow coloured stripes.
A wooden high chair, nuts, bolts, nails and screws,
anything at all that easily glues.
Old exhaust, cords, cogs, and a rusted pan,
an empty squashed, washed out Heinz baked beans can.
One waste paper basket and rickety stool,
heavy roll of wire on cardboard spool.
Ball of strong string and pieces of leather,
most of great use when welded together.
Joined in one huge magical creation,
formed from our unique imagination.
What to call this, alas, we do not know,
but it has a slight touch of art nouveau.
A sculpture that in time, might famous be,
in London’s exclusive Tate Gallery.
poem by Ernestine Northover
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I Hate Myself & Want To Die
Runny nose and runny yolk
Even if you have a cold still
You can cough on me again
I still havent had my fulfill
In the someday whats that sound?
Broken heart and broken bones
Think of how a castrated horse feels
One more quirky cliched phrase
Youre the one I wanna refill
In the someday whats that sound?
- spoken interlude in middle -
Most people dont realize
That two large pieces of coral,
Painted brown, and attached to his skull
With common wood screws can make a child look like a deer
song performed by by Nirvana
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Turn Of The Screw
Do you feel the turn of the screw?
Pushing harder, breaking through
It's better than you ever knew
Now it gets to take care of you
I won't go and tell it
Don't bet you're due
It swings enough to know the truth
It even left you black and blue
Never stop when there's nothing left to do
The turn of the screw, the turn of the screw
The thing you said you'd never do
The turn of the screw, the turn of the screw
There's no backing out once you've turned the screw
You never thought what they say could be
One night alone and you would see
I think you'll take back all those doubts
Now you know what the talk was all about
The turn of the screw, the turn of the screw
The thing you said you'd never do
The turn of the screw, the turn of the screw
There's no backing out once you've turned the screw
Turn, Turn, Turn it around
Turn, Turn, Turn it here on the ground
Turn, Turn, Turn it around
Turn, Turn, Turn it here on the ground
The turn of the screw, the turn of the screw
The thing you said you'd never do
The turn of the screw, the turn of the screw
There's no backing out once you've turned the screw
The Turn of the Screw
The Turn of the Screw
The Turn of the Screw
The Turn of the Screw1
song performed by by 1208
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Unfortunate Plastic Cup
white plastic cup
red plastic cup
new plastic cup
orange plastic cup
black plastic cup
poem by Nicolas Grenier
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Her Zebra Painted Legs.
As when Pinochet seized control of La moneda in santiago neon sunrise.
I see you as a Pinata
exploding at the temples and the beaches, Like a blown safe.
From you I see:
wax lips,
plastic diamond rings,
Crackerjack prizes.
stained popsicle sticks,
lolipop flutes,
Shadows like nylon tights nailed to my feet.
wooden hands,
screams,
firecrackers,
crayons,
sugar cubes,
falcon feathers,
tiny umbrellas,
and all your marbles spilling... spilling...spilling... beneath my painted zebra legs
I hate seeing your head breaking.
poem by Jerome Moore
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Pictures From an Exhibition
(Painting and Sculpture of a Decade 54G4 Tate Gallery London AprilJune 1964) No. 54 Jean Dubuffet 'Déclinaison de la Barbe' 1. 1959
'astu cuilli les fleurs de la barbe?'
Jean Dubuffet I wander the dark pebbles of your mind
picking beardflowers.
No. 73 Joseph Cornell 'Hotel de l'Etoile'
cool pillars of the hotel/in the
night outside the stars are always
so white/the sky is always so
blue/silver moon waiting patiently.
No. 84 Mark Rothko 'Reds No. 229 x957
SCARLET
ORANGE
ORANGE
ORANGE
SCARLET
CRIMSON
SCARLET
No. 291 Robert Rauschenberg 'windward' 1963
printed oranges are painted
painted oranges are painted
Angry skyline over the gasworks
A Hawk sits brooding inside a painted rainbow.
Nos. 1013 Josef Albers, Studies for 'Homage to the Square' 1961 – 2
look.
see.
long ago.
now.
No. 314 Bernard Requichot 'Sans Titre Chasse de papiers choisis'
chasse aux papillons:
`Here Be Tygers' –
the fruit in the tin has a thousand eyes.
No. 349 Jim Dine 'Black Bathroom No. 2' 1962
black splashes on the white walls
interrupting the commercials
TURN ON THE GLEAMING WHITE SINK
AND POEMS COME OUT OF THE TAPS!
No. 139 Victor Vasarely 'Supernovae' 1959 - 61
No. So Louise Nevelson 'Sky Cathedral III' 1960
Black
Black
Black
Boxes
Black
Light
Black
Moonlight
Black
Emptiness
Black
Dust
Black
Boxes
Black
Black
Black
No. 247 Richard Diebenkorn 'Ingleside' 1963
Look through the Supermarket window/up the highway
the hill rises steeply/hoardings and magnolias bright
in the sunlight/white walls black freeways traffic signs
at intersections/green lawns dark hedges/colours
clear and bright as the packets in your wire basket.
poem by Adrian Henri
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A person who can't pay gets another person who can't pay to guarantee that he can pay. Like a person with two wooden legs getting another person with two wooden legs to guarantee that he has got two natural legs. It don't make either of them able to do a walking-match.
quote by Charles Dickens
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Hutch
of her arms, this was her sin:
where the wood berries bin
of forest was new and full,
she crept out by its tall
posts, those wooden legs,
and heard the sound of wild pigs.
calling and did not wait nor care.
The leaves wept in her hair
as she sank to a pit of needles
and twisted out the ivyless
gate, where the wood berries bin
was full and a pig came in.
poem by Anne Sexton
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Plastic
You got a plastic name and a plastic heart
You can play the game or you'll never start
I'm talkin' to you
You got a plastic house and a plastic fence
Gotta look around or you'll lose your friends
Am I gettin' through?
You got a plastic girl in a plastic bed
And she's in your house made of gingerbread
And you're in there too
Got a plastic smile on a plastic face
But it's underneath that you can't erase
But what can you do-do-do?
[CHORUS:]
Say Love-it's not that hard after all
(tell me what I want
song performed by by Alanis Morissette from Alanis
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If You Look For A Rhyme, So Sorry I Don't Have It
i don't jam and i don't rhyme
my life does not rhyme
and some parts simply
do not fit
until now
like a dovetail
of wooden pieces
to make
your chair
so sorry but i don't have
rhyme
it is the truth
it is the truth of this world
some things do not fit
some people do not just fit
square pegs in a round hole
square lives in a round dimension
it is the truth of this world
fingers in the hands
toes in your feet
look at them as a family of your
unique body
i like to rhyme i like to jibe with you
and sing the harmony of
our song
the truth is
there isn't
and so my dear, let us look at each other's eyes
again
can you do it without blinking?
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Wooden Indian
This song was first released on the poems, prayers and promises album. it is the only album it has been released on.
I, I was a red man
I was proud, I was strong
You were the white man
And you stole away my home
Now I am a wooden indian
Painted dreams inside my head
Times a where you bring me down
And make you wish I was dead
Na na na
I, I was a red man
In my passing made no sound
You were the white man
And you drove me in the ground
Now I am a wooden indian
Standing silent in the rain
Swear with my grandfathers father
Were going to rise again
Na na na
I, I was a red man
I was proud, I was strong
You were the white man
And you stole away my home
Now I am a wooden indian
Standing silent in the rain
Swear with my grandfathers father
Were going to rise again
Words and music by john denver
song performed by by John Denver
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Joys of Flat Packing (Fun Poem 33)
For those who built models
when we were a kid.
Remember all the enjoyment we had
putting all the pieces together.
Then we grew up to build bigger models,
wardrobes, cabinets and things.
Fun they look until
you take out the instructions,
only to find they are in a foreign language.
Something that you cannot understand.
Now if you get over that hurdle,
there is still more to come.
Before too long you are scratching your head again.
The possibilities are endless here.
You have a piece that is missing
or something that will not fit.
If your one of the lucky ones,
someone has put in some extras,
or have you missed something out somewhere?
It is back to the instruction,
the ones that you cannot read.
No definitely, you have some bits over,
but what do you do with them?
A couple of nails or screws you do not mind,
but when it is enough to build
whole thing all over again.
It is then you want to find a corner to sit in
and have a darn good cry.
Oh, the joys of flat packing,
it will get you every time.
(22 July 2007)
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Better walk on wooden legs, than be carried on a wooden bier.
You Know Where You Did Despise
You know where you did despise
(Tother day) my little Eyes,
Little Legs, and little Thighs,
And some things, of little Size,
You know where.
You, tis true, have fine black eyes,
Taper legs, and tempting Thighs,
Yet what more than all we prize
Is a Thing of little Size,
You know where.
poem by Alexander Pope
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Discrimination Here's You Come and Go
Discrimination’s like a snake
Its teeth in poisoned prejudice,
Causing ache
Discrimination abolished all warmth and spirit
And returned with a new hate
Relishing its pain brought
Never thought of halt
Hey
Discrimination’s the new law
Stony and steel and
Square without feelings
Like window frames
Of the Hall
In court
I wonder where the White’s Purity all gone.
Tears and Fears
Now the norm
In the name
Of discrimination
now
Gladly Discrimination has gone
Kicked out hard,
square and fair
Yet-
It left a hole
In everyone’s hearts.