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A Wife's Odyssey

Another five sunsets then comes Friday.
Guess whose home and wants “my way”?
Just clean dirty clothes; tweeze his nose,
And, oh yeah, fine dining I suppose.

It’s a Big Mac, a box by Jack
Or the Colonel’s wings in a greasy sack.
After that it’s to the movies where I can’t hear a word
Because my love keeps asking what was said while cackling like a bird.

Don’t get me wrong. I can endure and have a fun day.
‘Cause with clean clothes, nose and hose, he’s off again Sunday!

poem by Gregory Huyette
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A Wife's Life of Strife

Another five sunsets then comes Friday.
Guess whose home and wants "my way"?
Just clean dirty clothes; tweeze his nose,
And, oh yeah, fine dining…I suppose.

It's a Big Mac, a box by Jack
Or the Colonel's wings in a greasy sack.
After that it's to the movies where I can't
hear a word
Because my love keeps asking what was said…
while cackling like a bird.

Don't get me wrong. I can endure and have a
fun day.
‘Cause with clean clothes, nose and hose, he's
off again Sunday!

poem by Gregory Huyette
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Dirty Jim

THERE was one little Jim,
'Tis reported of him,
And must be to his lasting disgrace,
That he never was seen
With hands at all clean,
Nor yet ever clean was his face.

His friends were much hurt
To see so much dirt,
And often they made him quite clean;
But all was in vain,
He got dirty again,
And not at all fit to be seen.

It gave him no pain
To hear them complain,
Nor his own dirty clothes to survey:
His indolent mind
No pleasure could find
In tidy and wholesome array.

The idle and bad,
Like this little lad,
May love dirty ways, to be sure;
But good boys are seen
To be decent and clean,
Although they are ever so poor.

poem by Ann Taylor
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Dirty Jim

THERE was one little Jim,
'Tis reported of him,
And must be to his lasting disgrace,
That he never was seen
With hands at all clean,
Nor yet ever clean was his face. . . .

His friends were much hurt
To see so much dirt,
And often they made him quite clean;
But all was in vain,
He got dirty again,
And not at all fit to be seen.

It gave him no pain
To hear them complain,
Nor his own dirty clothes to survey:
His indolent mind
No pleasure could find
In tidy and wholesome array.

The idle and bad,
Like this little lad,
May love dirty ways, to be sure;
But good boys are seen
To be decent and clean,
Although they are ever so poor.

poem by Jane Taylor
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Oh My Gosh!

Oh my gosh!
Here we are...
Washing,
Clothes.

Oh my gosh!
Here we are...
Nose to nose.
And,
Washing clothes.

Folding the sheets we laid on.
Together you and I...
After a wetness sweated us,
In a rocking that followed with sleep.
To awaken after we slept.
Welcomed by a dawning Sun...
To greet us in the morning,
With a glowing on our faces...
Shown to be done.

And OH my gosh!
Here we are,
Washing clothes.
Nose to nose and folding sheets.

Something tells me,
A togetherness is certain.
Something else tells me...
You will have me ironing the curtains,
If I don't put my foot down...
To speak up to say,
This 'sweetness' I may display today...
Is a rarity witnessed,
You will one day see...
Is not part of my personality.

Like you,
I will not be left impressed.
Just because we had another night...
Of unexpected delicious sex!

'Honey...
I can't believe we've been together,
For more than twenty years! '

I know. I know!
I'll iron those curtains,
When I get back home...
Okay?

'Anything for you, dear.
You know that! '

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Clean

Today, everything was fine fine fine
Until roundabout quarter to 9, suddenly I found myself in a bind, a bind
Was it something I said
Something I read
And manifest thats getting you down
Dont you dare come to bed with that ambiguous look in your eye
Id sooner sleep by an open fire and wake up fried
Say what u will
Say what u mean
No, you could never offend
Your dirty words come out clean, clean
Tomorrow, what price will I pay
Could I make it all up to you by serving coffee for two in bed, would you then give me
The time of day
I need a map of your head, translated into english so I can learn to not make you frown
Feel better if you vent, put your frustrations into four letter words and let them out on
Mine
The most weathered ears in town!
Say what u will
Say what u mean
No, you could never offend
Your dirty words come out clean
Clean (x6)
Say what u will
Say what u mean
No, you could never offend
Your dirt words come out clean
Say what u will
Say what u mean
No, you could never offend
Your dirty words come out clean, clean

song performed by by Incubus
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Micky Marlene

There was a man called Micky Marlene
Whose clothes were dirty though his hands were clean,
He said 'You'll never guess where I've been
Or the things I've done and the things I've seen

'I've walked this earth for many a year
And I've seen men's courage dissolve into fear,
I've laughed at their folly and not shed a tear
When I relaxed in the bar and swallowed my beer!

'I don't give a monkey for money or fame
And when it comes to sex I don't have any shame,
Religion is stupid and life's just a game -
There's no need for judgement 'cos no one's to blame!

'You may think me callous but I don't care;
If you're talking of suffering, well I've had my share,
I've been on my knees and uttered a prayer
But God is a figment - there's nobody there!

'So don't try to fool me with words of advice,
I've made my mistakes and I'm paying the price,
I know my intentions are not very nice,
Just mind your own business - I won't tell you twice! ! '

Those were the words of Micky Marlene
Whose clothes were dirty though his hands were clean,
A bit of an actor, he still must have been
The most lecherous man that I've ever seen.

poem by John Thorkild Ellison
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There was an Old Man with a nose,
Who said, 'If you choose to suppose,
That my nose is too long,
You are certainly wrong!'
That remarkable Man with a nose.

by Edward Lear from A Book of Nonsense (1846)
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Clothes Line

After a while we took in the clothes,
Nobody said very much.
Just some old wild shirts and a couple pairs of pants
Which nobody really wanted to touch.
Mama come in and picked up a book
An papa asked her what it was.
Someone else asked, what do you care?
Papa said, well, just because.
Then they started to take back their clothes,
Hang em on the line.
It was january the thirtieth
And everybody was feelin fine.
The next day everybody got up
Seein if the clothes were dry.
The dogs were barking, a neighbor passed,
Mama, of course, she said, hi!
Have you heard the news? he said, with a grin,
The vice-presidents gone mad!
Where? downtown. when? last night.
Hmm, say, thats too bad!
Well, theres nothin we can do about it, said the neighbor,
Its just somethin were gonna have to forget.
Yes, I guess so, said ma,
Then she asked me if the clothes was still wet.
I reached up, touched my shirt,
And the neighbor said, are those clothes yours?
I said, some of em, not all of em.
He said, ya always help out around here with the chores?
I said, sometime, not all the time.
Then my neighbor, he blew his nose
Just as papa yelled outside,
Mama wants you t come back in the house and bring them clothes.
Well, I just do what Im told,
So, I did it, of course.
I went back in the house and mama met me
And then I shut all the doors.

song performed by by Bob Dylan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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First I Look At The Purse

(william robinson/robert rogers)
Some fellows look at the eyes
Some fellows look at the nose
Some fellows look at the size
Some fellows look at the clothes
I dont care if her eyes are red
I dont care if her nose is long
I dont care if shes underfeed
I dont care if her clothes are wrong
First I look at the purse.
Some fellows like the smiles they wear
Some fellows like the legs that talk
Some fellows like the style of their hair,
They want the waist line to be small.
I dont care if their legs all vein
I dont care if their teeth are big
I dont care if she wears a ring
Why waste time looking at the waist line
Cause first I look at the purse....yeah!
A woman can be as fine as can be
Kisses sweeter than honey
That dont mean a thing to me,
If you aint got no money, baby.
Cause if the purse is fat, thats where its at. yeahaa...
Some fellows like the way they walk,
The way they swing and sway.
Some fellows like the way they talk,
If they can talk talk all day.
I dont care if she waddles like a duck or talks with a lisp
I still think Im in good luck if the dollar bills are crisp
Cause first I look at the purse....yeah yeah
Keep an eye on the money
Womans got to have some fine greenbacks hah
I aint greedy guys,
Oh I dont wanna work no more

song performed by by Rod Stewart
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Ugliest Girl In The World

The woman that I love she got a hook in her nose
Her eyebrows meet, she wears second hand clothes
She speaks with a stutter and she walks with a hop
I dont know why I love her but I just cant stop
You know I love her
Yeah I love her
Im in love with the ugliest girl in the world
If I ever lose her I will go insane
I go half crazy when she calls my name
When she says babababababy I l-l-love you
There aint nothing in the world that I wouldnt do
You know I love her
Yeah I love her
Im in love with the ugliest girl in the world
The woman that I love she got two flat feet
Her knees knock together walking down the street
She cracks her knuckles and she snores in bed
She aint much to look at but like I said
You know I love her
Yeah I love her
Im in love with the ugliest girl in the world
I dont mean to say that she got nothing goin
She got a weird sense of humor thats all her own
When I get low she sets me on my feet
Got a five inch smile but her breath is sweet
You know I love her
Yeah I love her
Im in love with the ugliest girl in the world
The woman that I love she a got a prizefighter nose
Cauliflower ears and a run in her hose
She speaks with a stutter and she walks with a hop
I dont know why I love her but I just cant stop

song performed by by Bob Dylan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If You Only Hear The Rhythm Of This Poem

each syllable is
a heartbeat
it is something jumping
not like a frog
but more of a flea
it is silent
it jumps further trying
to reach the tip
of my nose

each word is a sigh
like the flaps of a bird flying away from me
this is the poem that i write for you

and if it is true that you live in the dark
i guess
you shall hear it well
you shall see it well

for the wings of the bird are white
and the color of the sigh is the color of the lights
breathed by the stars

poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Why Do You Bob Your Nose, Girl ?

(kinky friedman)
Why do you bob your nose, girls, it does not look so nice,
If it' s just to keep in fashion, it's not the lord's advice.
Well, you mangle mother nature and brave the lord's command
You care about your nose, girls, and reach the glory land.
Why do you bob your nose, girls, it's not the thing to do,
Run with that nose and some day the lord may say to you:
You naughty little booger, you honky tonkin' hose
But at least i'm glad for one thing: you'sll never bob your nose.

song performed by by Kinky Friedman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Clean

Eat clean,
Live clean,
Sleep clean,
dress clean,
Walk clean,
Learn clean,
Play clean,
Think clean,
dance clean,
Talk clean,
Sing clean,
work clean,
Because the world around you is watching what you do;
You are the only one on this earth,
So live and let us live too.

poem by Edward Kofi Louis
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The Dirty Laundry Poem

This is the dirty laundry poem-
because we have traveled from town to town
accumulating soiled linen & sweaty shirts
& blue-jeans caked & clotted with our juice
& teeshirts crumpled by our gloriously messy passion
& underwear made stiff by all our joy.

I have come home to wash my clothes.
They patter on the bathroom floor like rain.
The water drips away the days till you.
The dirty water speaks to me of love.

Steamy in the bubbles of our love,
I have plunged my hands into hot water
as I might plunge them
in your heart.

After years of spots & splatters,
I am finally coming clean.
I will fly to you with a suitcase of fresh laundry,
strip my clothes off, heap them on the floor,
& let you scrub my body with your love.

poem by Erica Jong
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Jack The Idiot Dunce

Whos the fool with the cross-eyed stare,
The turned up nose and moronic glare?
Whos that simpleton standing over there?
Jack, jack the idiot dunce.
Whos that dumb-looking freckle-faced runt?
Jack, jack the idiot dunce.
He walks like his feet are on back to front,
Jack, jack the idiot dunce.
When he waddles down the street he looks kind of queer,
Jack, jack the idiot dunce,
Because hes got two left feet and taxi-door ears,
Jack, jack the idiot dunce.
And when we laugh at the clothes he wears,
Jack just smiles cos he dont care.
Whos that fool? whos that ninny?
Whos that twit? whos that chump?
The idiot dunce, the idiot dunce.
Who is always the bottom of the class?
Jack, jack the idiot dunce.
Whos a fool? whos a boob?
Whos a kook and an ass?
Jack, jack the idiot dunce.
When we take examinations he never gets a pass,
Jack, jack the idiot dunce.
And we all put him down cos he cant think fast,
Jack, jack the idiot dunce.
We ridicule him and punch him around,
But jack just laughs and stands his ground,
The idiot dunce, the idiot dunce.
Yeah, hes so unco-ordinated.
Yeah, and so disorientated,
And when we have a high school hop
You ought to see that idiot bop
And his arms and his legs
Seem to have minds of their own,
And you dont need brains
To have educated muscles and bones.
Yeah, you ought to see him dance
He moves like hes in a trance,
And when we have a high school hop
You ought to see that idiot rock,
And hes finally proved
That you dont need a high i.q.
To make your body move.
Now hes created a dance that everybodys trying to do.
Jack, jack the idiot dunce.
Do the idiot dunce.
All right put your finger on your nose,
Now cross those eyes.
Put your hands on your hips,
Now wriggle your backside.
Now youve got the knack
To do the idiot jack
From your head to the tips of your toes.
Now the whole worlds doing it and everybody knows,
Jack, jack the idiot dunce.
Hes a real cool cat and a real gone groove,
Jack, jack the idiot dunce.
And the girls go crazy when he starts to move,
Jack, jack the idiot dunce
Now jacks a success hes got nothing to prove,
Jack, jack the idiot dunce.
Even though jack is dim
His mother is so proud of him.
Hey, whos that groovy looking dude
Dancing with all the chicks?
The idiot dunce, the idiot dunce.

song performed by by Kinks
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Nose

No one cares for the nose

To go nose straight is the tao

If there were no eyes

You could see better with your nose

If there were no nose

you wouldnot distinguish the sweet from the bitter

And there would be no value judgements in the world

And it is the nose that keeps you hot in the cold

And that keeps you cold in Jakodabad

The nose is the vigilant customs officer

That does not allow any drug to your lungs

And the nose cannot be bribed

Oh Nose! the customs officer of the body

And the pivot of value judgement in the world

If that name thou love

Remain with us and teach the noseless world

That it must have a nose in this wartorn world

He who knows the greatness of nose

Surely goes to the realm of rose

In the life to come

Hurrah Let us compose hymns to nose

poem by Dr. Ramesh Chandra Mukhopadhyaya
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Be Glad Your Nose is on Your Face

Be glad your nose is on your face,
not pasted on some other place,
for if it were where it is not,
you might dislike your nose a lot.

Imagine if your precious nose
were sandwiched in between your toes,
that clearly would not be a treat,
for you'd be forced to smell your feet.

Your nose would be a source of dread
were it attached atop your head,
it soon would drive you to despair,
forever tickled by your hair.

Within your ear, your nose would be
an absolute catastrophe,
for when you were obliged to sneeze,
your brain would rattle from the breeze.

Your nose, instead, through thick and thin,
remains between your eyes and chin,
not pasted on some other place--
be glad your nose is on your face!

poem by Jack Prelutsky
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Eden Is Burning

Diane and jack went to the movies
They went to see richard pryor
Screamin on his knees for his lover
How could have I been wrong about you?
How could I have been so wrong about you?
Chorus:
Eden is burning
I can see it from my window
Better take it to the water
Eden is burning
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Eden is burning
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Thinking of havana
Eating cream and bananas
You and me in the sunshine
How could have I been wrong about you?
How could I have been so wrong about you?
Chorus:
Eden is burning
I can see it from my window
Better take it to the water
Eden is burning
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Eden is burning
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
How could have I been wrong about you?
How could I have been so wrong about you?
With love on our side
With love on our side
Heres the masquerade of our living
Well, I hope it makes you feel better
Its for our own protection
I thought we were forever, me and you
But nothins forever, I guess its true
Chorus:
Eden is burning
I can see it from my window
Better take it to the water
Eden is burning
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Eden is burning
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Eden is burning
I can see it from my window
Better take it to the water
Eden is burning
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Eden is burning
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

song performed by by John Mellencamp
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Heatseeker

(oooh, were gettin ready
Ow
Here we go
Hahaha
Im ready
Oooh)
Getting ready to rock
Getting ready to roll
Im gonna turn up the heat
Im gonna fire up the coal
I gotta keep that motor turning
I gotta keep that engine clean
I gotta keep those tires burning
Ive got the best youve ever seen
And Im a heatseeker charging up the sky
And Im a heatseeker, and i, I dont need no life preserver
I dont need no one to hose me down
To hose me down
Getting ready to break
Getting ready to go
Get your shoes off and shake
Get your head down and blow
You gotta keep that woman firing
You gotta keep that serpent clean
You gotta make her sound the siren
You gotta hear that lady scream
Cause Im a heatseeker, burning up the town
And Im a heatseeker, I dont, I dont need no life preserver
I dont need no one to hose me down
Dont hose me down
(aw yeah, here ya go, yow! ready? heatseeker!)
I wanna see you get up
And see the whites of your eyes
And Im a heatseeker, heatseeker, yeah!
Im gonna measure you up
Im gonna try you for size
And Im a heatseeker
Gotta keep that motor turning
You gotta keep that engine clean
You gotta keep those tires burning
Ive got the best youve ever seen
And Im a heatseeker, and I dont need no life preserver
I dont need no one to hose me down, woah
Im a heatseeker
And Im a heatseeker
Heatseeker
Out on the street feel the heat

song performed by by AC-DC
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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O! What a nose!

People talk about a running nose
I'm talking about a long facial cargo
She’s got a nose longer than my longest toes
With a mission of being nosy as time goes

Please don’t get close
When she discloses
Her loud snoring doze
Don’t be like the heroes

Goodness gracious
O! What a nose!
Goodness gracious
What a precious nose pose!

Painted as red as a romantic rose
Standing long like my garden pipe hose
And as she sniffs, sneezes and exposes
I cannot help thinking of Pinocchio’s nose

Goodness gracious
O! What a nose!
Goodness gracious
Red and long when it snows

And this nose is nosy
She can smell a rat, cat or a bat
When you are getting cozy
In your one bedroom flat

O! What a nose!
In and out juice flows
And when she smells the air
They all cannot help but stare

Copyright 2008 - Sylvia Chidi

poem by Sylvia Chidi
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